S05.E11: Back To Square One

[1011101010001]

3 hours ago, greekmom said:

Memphis and Hamza. I can't believe that the big secret that she told him was that she went to the ex's bc she failed some exams or what not. There has to be more to the story and I believe someone in the thread said she may have wanted to harm herself. 

All this makes me wonder whether she should be giving mental health advice, which is apparently what she does.

3 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

Only when they are being used as cock blockers.

Most men get multiple erections while sleeping.  And you have your kids in bed near that?

[1011101010001]

3 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

That she ever had sex with the poor guy last visit amazed me

I have a feeling that it wasn’t an especially prolonged experience.

3 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Maybe I should put "hot" in quotes too, since I think Ximena is grubby looking and ratchet as fuck. 

The Bronx is a lot closer and he could probably find similar.

2 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I didn't know one way or the other but several folks in the live chat pointed out that he's Jewish so wearing the cross was, at the very least, insensitive. 

My guess is that he's not observant and doesn't attend services. Maybe he should start. 

His grandfather is named Hyman. I have never met a Christian named that but I suppose it’s possible.

[1011101010001]

2 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

The only way Usman ever holds a Grammy statuette is if he buys one from a pawn shop or estate sale or somesuch.

I don’t know, they gave one to Christopher Cross.

37 minutes ago, Dobian said:

 

Ben: I'm 52 and Mahogany is 24.  Hot!  Whoa she's only 22?  That's weird!

I guess Ben draws the line at 30 years.  Good to know he has standards

 

He said it’s because his daughter is 22.  So if she were 21 he would be good to go lol.

[1011101010001]

26 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

I think the wife-beater and cross outfit was his sad attempt to look like the bad boy Ximena goes for.

His idea of cartel fashion.  I hope he doesn’t think you want a Colombian necktie.

[Auntie Anxiety]

14 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Most men get multiple erections while sleeping.  And you have your kids in bed near that?

Anthony Weiner (aka Carlos Danger) is on line 2.

[Mr. Miner]

19 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Most men get multiple erections while sleeping.  And you have your kids in bed near that?

I really wasn't thinking about Mike and his erections.

[1011101010001]

Just now, Mr. Miner said:

I really wasn't thinking about Mike and his erections.

Plus she ain’t giving him any.

[cheewhiz]

On 2/25/2022 at 11:10 PM, magemaud said:

I’m firmly convinced that Ben’s “MUA” (“make up artist” to those of us who are not cool enough to get the acronym) deliberately gave him glitter bronzer to make him look like even more of an idiot. 

Apparently Ben also watches Glow Up, which is where is learned what a MUA stood for. 

[Cherrio]

3 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

The only way Usman ever holds a Grammy statuette is if he buys one from a pawn shop or estate sale or somesuch.

A Yammy maybe ? 

[mmecorday]

The actress playing Mahogany needs a better MUA. And Ben needs to wake up and smell the ketchup -- he's found himself in a real-life "Truman Show." Growing up in a religious cult, he probably didn't encounter a lot of "exotic" food, beyond the occasional visit to Taco Bell. He was probably raised on a steady diet of tater tot casserole and KFC.

[Mondrianyone]

3 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

The only way Usman ever holds a Grammy statuette is if he buys one from a pawn shop or estate sale or somesuch.

When Usman first mentioned his Grammy, I thought he was talking about Kimbelly. For real.

[magemaud]

4 hours ago, greekmom said:

Heck even Tim (from Tim and Veronica) admitted he's bought women a set of boobs here and there.

I like Tim more on PT than when his season with Jeniffer but I always think most of his boasting about girlfriends and his past dating and sexual experiences are made up. 

 

4 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

So Mahogany is 22 and pretends to live alone.  How would she support that lifestyle?

When Ben said he wanted to meet her parents, she said it would be "difficult." I think she meant she had to quickly rustle up a place to meet him that wasn't where she really lives and find some actors to play her parents then the "mother" slipped up when she got the age wrong. Or, if they really are her parents, they refused to have the filming/meeting in their home. 

 

4 hours ago, greekmom said:

He's Jewish?  Why was he wearing a cross with his black tank top?!?!?  (He was wearing a cross -right??)

His name is Mike Berk, his father is Larry Berkowitz and his grandfather is Hyman Berkowitz. 

[Me from ME]

So...about 1000 years ago I took my VCR for repair to a guys house in backwoods Maine. He had an Emmy statuette on his work table. Turns out he won some kind of technical award and then had to buy the statuette if he wanted it. He actually had won several over the years but only paid for one. I think it was in the region of $130 but, as I said, it was a very long time ago.

Edited February 28, 2022 by Me from ME
Sometymes kan't speell

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

The only way Usman ever holds a Grammy statuette is if he buys one from a pawn shop or estate sale or somesuch.

Kim can buy one at an MJ auction, like she did with the fedora. 

3 hours ago, suzeecat said:

"Come meet my mama (but not my kids)"

actually she referred to her as her "Mommy" like a ten year old. 

[Me from ME]

 

Quote

His name is Mike Berk, his father is Larry Berkowitz and his grandfather is Hyman Berkowitz. 

How strange. I wonder who encouraged him to do that. Couldn't be his father because he didn't.

 

[magemaud]

38 minutes ago, mmecorday said:

He was probably raised on a steady diet of tater tot casserole and KFC.

Oooh, the "Duggar Diet"

[Matty]

Ben's MUA must have had a left over stash of glitter bronzer from Claire's and dumped it off on "fitness model" Ben. Remember that tween girl's store in shopping malls in the 90s - early 00s? My daughter used to shop there for glitter pens, nail polish and little charms when she was in middle school.  Ben has such a lofty, totally unwarrented, opinion of himself. "Ketchup is the spiciest thing I eat" Yuck. What a yokel.

[magemaud]

"Muy gracias" everybody!

[Baltimore Betty]

6 minutes ago, magemaud said:

His name is Mike Berk, his father is Larry Berkowitz and his grandfather is Hyman Berkowitz. 

Well, that is something.  As a former single Jewish girl there was a time that I dated any and all of the single Jewish guys in my area (Mom played tennis twice a week with a lot of Jewish mothers with single sons), I cannot believe that nobody in his community is trying to fix him up, it is his birth right, lol. 

No matter how shitty Noxema treated him it was for the best that she told him that she is not in to him anymore, she was not going to like living in his house with his father and grandfather and they would probably not understand her online modeling career (aka Webcam Girl).  

I seriously cannot believe the mentality of Mike and Ben, do they really think they weren't being used or that the fact they have to use a translator to have a relationship was really love?  If a guy asks me to buy him a couch and once I bought the couch he said he loves me it would make me think he was in love with the couch. How are these men so stupid?  When Excema sent the boys in to the other room she told them to go with Steven, who is Steven and she named one of her kids Harold and I find that strange it sound so white and old.

Jasmine and her need to know where and what Gino is doing every 5 minutes is just beyond stupid, how many women are going to look at Gino and think "Yeah baby, let's do this!" Maybe this is how she shows that she is really in to him, fake mistrust and fake jealousy.  I don't even think he paid attention to the ring size he bought, he just picked out the cheapest ring, you can't size that cheap crap.

The whole situation with Mahogany, the fake apartment, her parents, all of that could have been the perfect set up to knock Ben out and harvest all of his organs.  M did not even offer anything to eat or drink to anyone, she really was being lazy about the charade.  

Memphis, WTF.  I am amazed that people want to knowingly walk in to a relationship where communication is impossible but yet the fighting is unending and there is a lack of trust and still want to marry that person...it would be exhausting be near her.  She is setting a piss poor example of what a healthy relationship looks like for her kids and she does not care.

 

 

 

[magemaud]

9 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

As a former single Jewish girl there was a time that I dated any and all of the single Jewish guys in my area (Mom played tennis twice a week with a lot of Jewish mothers with single sons), I cannot believe that nobody in his community is trying to fix him up, it is his birth right, lol. 

I'll bet after he goes home there are some Yentas out there trying to fix him up 

Edited February 28, 2022 by magemaud

[Annifran]

I was hoping Ben would ask for a glass of water and Mahogany wouldn't even know where to find a glass in the kitchen.

[Auntie Anxiety]

5 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I don't even think he paid attention to the ring size he bought, he just picked out the cheapest ring, you can't size that cheap crap.

It was one step up from the rings we used to buy in the coin machines at the grocery store entrance, the rings that you could make larger or smaller just by opening or closing the back of it.

9 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

The whole situation with Mahogany, the fake apartment, her parents, all of that could have been the perfect set up to knock Ben out and harvest all of his organs.  M did not even offer anything to eat or drink to anyone, she really was being lazy about the charade.  

That scene came precipitously close to piercing the fourth wall and exposing the Sharp shenanigans to even the most ingenuous viewer.

[Granny58]

4 hours ago, Tuneful said:

I think Mike needs to get his mojo out of mothballs and get back in the game. Reality though is that not a lot of women will want to take on caregiving of a Dad and Grandpa as well,, and what would she do for a living in that town, etc. It's a depressing prospect for most women. Maybe she could talk him into moving to NYC, Hollywood, Miami, or even Poughkeepsie... but he won't leave his family if they need him. 

I would be delighted living in a small town.  It's taking care of the extended family (as a newlywed) that would stink that deal for me. 

[Mr. Miner]

1 hour ago, MrBuhBye said:

Most men get multiple erections while sleeping.  And you have your kids in bed near that?

I think Mike just has multiple farts while sleeping. I don't want anyone in bed near that.

[Auntie Anxiety]

13 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Well, that is something.  As a former single Jewish girl there was a time that I dated any and all of the single Jewish guys in my area (Mom played tennis twice a week with a lot of Jewish mothers with single sons), I cannot believe that nobody in his community is trying to fix him up, it is his birth right, lol. 

He could find a nice Jewish girl at the community Seder or Purim carnival. 

[bichonblitz]

14 hours ago, FurBabyMama said:

I feel kinda shook… 2 good decisions in this episode. Mahogany renting an air B&B and passing it off as her own, and Jasmin sending her kids to her dad because she doesn’t want them meeting Gino until she knows she wants to marry him. 

Jasmine doesn't have her kids. One lives with her ex. The other has special needs and lives with her mom. They probably put him with a relative or somebody for the day of filming. Jasmine is a POS that doesn't take care of her kids because she's too busy hunting for an American man. I'm not falling for her hurt, wounded woman now. Didn't Gino send her money for the boobs and lips? I bet Ximena wishes she met him first. 

[Amsterdamker]

Definitely think Mike is Jewish.  My grandfather's name was Hyman.  And funny enough, my dad's name is Harold, so I'm covered with Mike/X.  I think Mike is wearing a cross because X gave him one as a gift, I believe at the airport when he left the first time.  He's probably wearing it to please her.

[Granny58]

46 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I like Tim more on PT than when his season with Jeniffer but I always think most of his boasting about girlfriends and his past dating and sexual experiences are made up. 

he's not gay?

46 minutes ago, magemaud said:

His name is Mike Berk, his father is Larry Berkowitz and his grandfather is Hyman Berkowitz. 

but who's his momma?  That's where it counts.

[1011101010001]

55 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I like Tim more on PT than when his season with Jeniffer but I always think most of his boasting about girlfriends and his past dating and sexual experiences are made up. 

Yeah he is not handsome, his voice is annoying, he is whiny, and he admits to being cheap so I don’t think women were ever beating down his door.  He is amusing in small doses on PT but being around him 24/7 would be grating.

Edited February 28, 2022 by MrBuhBye

[magemaud]

35 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

but who's his momma?  That's where it counts.

actually, I was just reading her 2012 obituary. Her name was Elaine Schucart Berkowitz. 

It appears to me that Mike also goes officially by Berkowitz but they must have shortened it for the show. (Not the first person on 90F to have changed their name) 

Edited February 28, 2022 by magemaud

[magemaud]

50 minutes ago, Annifran said:

I was hoping Ben would ask for a glass of water and Mahogany wouldn't even know where to find a glass in the kitchen.

Mahogany thinking quickly..."Sorry, Benjamin, the tap water wouldn't be good for your sensitive American stomach..." 

[Me from ME]

Quote

It appears to me that Mike also goes officially by Berkowitz but they must have shortened it for the show. (Not the first person on 90F to have changed their name) 

That makes sense. More sense than him deciding to do it himself. Because...he's too much of a doofus to worry about external appearances.

[1011101010001]

Maybe they didn’t want Son of Sam jokes.

[Me from ME]

Quote

Maybe they didn’t want Son of Sam jokes.

Ha, I totally understand your reference. aka "the dog did it"

[Gobi]

Eczema’s put down of Mike was one of the harshest things I’ve seen. If she wants to break it off, fine, but let him down easy.

She tore out his heart, stomped on it, put a stake through it, and tossed it on the barbecue.

She definitely has someone else lined up. And she absolutely went home with another guy after the club.

Edited February 28, 2022 by Gobi

[Adeejay]

2 hours ago, Me from ME said:

 

How strange. I wonder who encouraged him to do that. Couldn't be his father because he didn't.

 

The last name "Berkowitz" has a negative connotation in New York City lore.  Those of us, of a certain age, remember all too well the late 70's serial killer, David Berkowitz.  I would change my last name too.  

[Frozendiva]

Is the season almost over?

Memphis and Hamza: They are so not ready to get married or even seriously date. Go home, keep chatting, maybe learn some French so you can actually communicate. Her big secret is that she had failed her program, had some mental health issues, and stayed with her ex for 4 days? And how does that have any impact on her relationship with Hamza? People have lives, people have stuff happen, they go through a rough patch, they hang out with a friend. Not his business except that it can happen to anyone. He has to be mindful and ensure that she has a safe place to go/have friends. 

Jasmine and Gino: So they have made up and are leaving the resort a day early to go back so he can meet Mama. At this point, the two of them probably deserve each other. The saving of the fingernail was weird. Like a totem of sorts? Find some hair and make a voodoo doll. Much more fun. I would have worn flats to walk across the grass to get on to the plane. No high heels. Change in to them on the plane. Toothy got a rescue, he just needs a wash in the sink and a new head. Hope Gino knows Jasmine's ring size because some rings cannot be sized up or down. Yeah, she will know it is a cheap ring. Maybe he can claim it is a placeholder til he is working again and then will get her a proper ring.

Kimbaaaly and Usman: No, we didn't need to hear the details of her African experiences. It just sounded like a selfish dude who didn't care about his partner that much. Guess he needs some new games for the PS5 and maybe some software for the MacBook. Maybe she pretended he was MJ. Who knows. She came across as a teenager the next morning, he seemed indifferent and no love in his eyes. But they are boyfriend/girlfriend. Good luck with the Grammy, Usman. They are not as prestigious as they used to be, with many being 'bought' these days. You need a team of really good songwriters, a worldwide tour, album sales, and millions of streams before anything happens. You just seem to be local talent. Get on the festival circuit and spend months and months touring. Kimbaaaly will like that. The spice farm seemed interesting but those crowns seemed silly. And of course Usman has a secret.....

Mike and Ximena: Ximena, you saved face at the restaurant and accepted his proposal. You certainly do not love Mike, you don't even like him or can stand to be around him. It would have taken a half hour to talk to him the next day and return the ring, and change your mind. Let him go. And not have him come back a few weeks later to you being negative and miserable about him being there. And oh yeah, I need more money for some plastic surgery. Pay the loan shark guy. You treated Mike like dirt this time - and this is what he faces with you. Maybe he hasn't told you that life in the US will not be modelling and cam-girl work. You will be looking after his dad and gramps and him. Did you and Mike talk about his Jewish faith and that it is likely that you would also have to convert to Judaism? Guess that never came up. You also did not have to be so nasty to Mike. Let him down gently, return the ring, and wish him well. Maybe he needed this life lesson to come to his senses and realizes that he dodged a major bullet with you. Go on with the new guy you met at the club or wherever. 

Ben and Mahogany: Mahogany, who are you? Before I ordered the raw fish ceviche, I would ask my date if he had any allergies. Some folks do have fish or shellfish allergies. It's hard to have a 'relationship' when all you have done is chatted online, have had no face to face Facetime or Zoom or whatever sessions, etc. You never showed Ben who you reall were. Just talked about your faith. And now he showed up. I do understand renting a place or using a friend's apartment to meet with someone you met online. You don't know him, you have no idea who each other are, and for all he knows, you could be harvesting his organs, or he could be some serial killer. But you bring a couple of items to make it look like your home or you tell him that it is a friend's house and since we just met, I don't feel comfortable meeting you in places that are not public. You take him to an apartment that seems like it is someone else's or an airbnb rental, has no real trace of you or your personality, you don't know your way around it, etc. My red flags and his went up. Your 'parents' show up - he has no idea if they really are your parents or someone your found to pretend to be them, they give your age as being younger than you claimed, and your story is falling apart. The 'dad' is disgusted at the abysmal age difference. If Ben was super-rich, maybe they would think differently. Mahogs can sign up for a two year starter marriage, get a nice settlement, and find a real marriage a few years down the line. If I was Ben, I would be doing a background check on you, and hi-tailing it to the airport and back to the US and deleting you. And asking his MUA for recommendations on a non shimmery, non glittery bronzer. For a guy who claims to be religious and following what he feels is his God's plan, this one ain't coming together all that well.

[magemaud]

12 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

Yeah, she will know it is a cheap ring. Maybe he can claim it is a placeholder til he is working again and then will get her a proper ring.

That was David's excuse when he bought a cheap ring for Lana, but I doubt Doofus Gino thinks like that and she won't be fooled for a minute after her finger turns green. 

Edited February 28, 2022 by magemaud

[Sile]

21 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

The last name "Berkowitz" has a negative connotation in New York City lore.  Those of us, of a certain age, remember all too well the late 70's serial killer, David Berkowitz.  I would change my last name too.  

Yes, Mike's family has kind of creeped me out since I learned their last name.  Which doesn't really make any sense, as David Berkowitz was adopted so it's not even a birth name.

Then again, Adolph Shicklgruber and No Name Maddox (Charles Manson) don't even give a shiver.  All about perception, isn't it?

There's also a great ragtime pianist/conductor named Joshua Rifkin who kind of got the shaft when Joel Rifkin started in with his shenanigans.

Edited February 28, 2022 by Sile
added Rifkin

[Kath94]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

Mahogany thinking quickly..."Sorry, Benjamin, the tap water wouldn't be good for your sensitive American stomach..." 

es muy espicy

[Mr. Miner]

11 minutes ago, Sile said:

Joel Rifkin

Elaine Benes was dating him and tried to get him to change his name.

[FrancescaFiore]

Never before in 90DF history has the production's fuckery been more obvious. It's getting kind of insulting. 

Jasmine, a woman who loses her very shit over normal, polite interactions Gino has with a waitress is suddenly able to forgive Gino, who never really sufficiently apologized for his defense of his sleazy, immature conduct? She, who couldn't be pleased by the paltry gift of a toothbrush can now be charmed by the keeping of a fingernail? Because Gino is just so damned irresistible? Come. On.

Ben & Mahogany? Fuckery! Him with his "MUA" and her with her perfect English are from Central Casting. Gimme a break, TLC. Trying to make it seem like Ben isn't in on it is just not plausible. Unless we're to believe that Ben is so genuinely stupid & reckless that he's incompetent and needs a guardian. 

Moving on to Kim, how is she just now finding out Zara is a real person? She watched the video for the song 'Zara' get made. The lyrics are just like the BGL song. Does Kim not know how to put 2 & 2 together? She didn't get mad at him for LYING to her, she said he "kept a secret." So did she never even ask who Zara is? That's really more on Kim. But I'm dying of cringe when she tries affecting ethnicity she's not, yo. 

Ximena was only ever about Mike's money. She's a scammer. Why is she up Mike's ass for boob-surgery money? I thought she'd already borrowed the money from a loan shark. She can't even keep her story straight. She's gross.

Edited February 28, 2022 by FrancescaFiore

[1011101010001]

22 minutes ago, Sile said:

Yes, Mike's family has kind of creeped me out since I learned their last name.  Which doesn't really make any sense, as David Berkowitz was adopted so it's not even a birth name.

Then again, Adolph Shicklgruber and No Name Maddox (Charles Manson) don't even give a shiver.  All about perception, isn't it?

There's also a great ragtime pianist/conductor named Joshua Rifkin who kind of got the shaft when Joel Rifkin started in with his shenanigans.

I feel for anyone named Dahmer or Gacy.   Bundy is double bad — Ted and Al.

[Gobi]

22 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

I feel for anyone named Dahmer or Gacy.   Bundy is double bad — Ted and Al.

Meanwhile, celebrities rejoice in the names Jesse James and Machine Gun Kelly.

[Eater of Worlds]

4 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

  When Excema sent the boys in to the other room she told them to go with Steven, who is Steven and she named one of her kids Harold and I find that strange it sound so white and old.

 

Her kids are named Harold something and Juan Steven.  Probably calls Juan by his middle name.

[1011101010001]

5 minutes ago, Eater of Worlds said:

Her kids are named Harold something and Juan Steven.  Probably calls Juan by his middle name.

She told one of them to go with the other.  There was no third person.

[Kid]

2 hours ago, Gobi said:

Eczema’s put down of Mike was one of the harshest things I’ve seen. If she wants to break it off, fine, but let him down easy.

She tore out his heart, stomped on it, put a stake through it, and tossed it on the barbecue.

She definitely has someone else lined up. And she absolutely went home with another guy after the club.

Bingo!!

[Kid]

2 hours ago, Frozendiva said:

Go on with the new guy you met at the club or wherever. 

She probably met him when visiting her baby daddy in prison.  

[FrancescaFiore]

8 minutes ago, Kid said:

She probably met him when visiting her baby daddy in prison.  

It's probably the loan shark.

[greekmom]

6 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I don’t know, they gave one to Christopher Cross.

He said it’s because his daughter is 22.  So if she were 21 he would be good to go lol.

Would love it if his daughter brought home a 75 yr old man for shits and giggles.