S05.E05: False Starts And False Promises

[1011101010001]

18 minutes ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

Get that paycheck, I guess? (Watching him defend Alina's independence to her infantilizing friends was pretty hot, I must admit.)

Yup she can pour her own water.

[Jeanne222]

8 hours ago, Xebug67 said:

It's so funny that you mention that, because for most of the episode whenever Memphis was shown I was distracted by what looked like the edges from a wig cap poking out from the hair on her forehead.  I could be mistaken, but something there kept drawing my eyes to it.

Lol me too.  I kept looking at that and also how far down the part in her hair was on her left side!

[magemaud]

3 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Lol me too.  I kept looking at that and also how far down the part in her hair was on her left side!

In looking at her photos online, her part seems to move depending on where she plasters down her wig. She also appears to have a shorter dark wig that is parted  low on her RIGHT side (or maybe the photo is reversed) 

Edited January 12, 2022 by magemaud

[Stuckathome]

11 hours ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

I'm also perplexed that Caleb is cool with the show portraying his character and his (presumably) sincere relationship with Alina as 1) steeped in ignorance and ableism and/or 2) exploited and hypersexualized fetish fodder. And if I were Alina, I wouldn't be thrilled to be painted as lovesick, desperate, and guilt tripping my boyfriend into sex.

At the time I doubt they realize how it will come across....I mean, I assume the crew is there filming for HOURS each day over the course of a few weeks. At some point I think you sort of forget they are there and then of course, is the editing. There have been a LOT of past participants who say they were edited to look a certain way.......who knows maybe the rest of the time Caleb and Elijah were BFFs but they chose to air the few mins of conflict. 

[lamujerdecente]

18 hours ago, Xebug67 said:

Alina is proof that people with infirmities can be as big a--holes as people who are not so challenged, and that those with infirmities should not be automatically placed on a pedestal and presumed to be great people just because of their infirmities/challenges.

Sigh. I was rooting for Alina and I am still glad she’s on the show. We need these different perspectives and narratives despite Alina’s tackiness, Caleb is a tool and a Twat but Alina is also cringy AF. 
 

I still like Elijah. I love a shady jerk- it’s the New Yorker in me. 
 

Memphis is really CRINGE. Sheesh Chile, who does the shite she does? And as usual on this show, double standards abound. Imagine a dude acting like Memphis or Alina? 
 

 

[Drogo]

7 hours ago, magemaud said:

In looking at her photos online, her part seems to move depending on where she plasters down her wig. She also appears to have a shorter dark wig that is parted  low on her RIGHT side (or maybe the photo is reversed) 

In this photo she looks like Dollar Tree’s version of Chantal, on fourth grade Picture Day?  Hey Memphis say “bitchass-slutass-whore” for us real quick.  Find a mirror, probably.
 

 

Edited January 12, 2022 by Drogo

[lilysmom]

17 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

Did you all forget about the nice Early Pregnancy Tests he also brought?

He's saving those for Boxing Day!

[Stuckathome]

4 hours ago, lamujerdecente said:

Imagine a dude acting like Memphis or Alina? 

The only ones I can recall that reached this level were Big Ed and Mark (with the teenager Nikki)........lol

I cheered when Rose ghosted Ed by taking off from the resort in the middle of the night....first and only time I recall anyone on this franchise saying enough is enough, I am dirt poor but have my dignity and won't tolerate this treatment. Maybe Hamza's mom and sister will chase Memphis out of town. 

[lamujerdecente]

16 minutes ago, Stuckathome said:

The only ones I can recall that reached this level were Big Ed and Mark (with the teenager Nikki)........lol

I cheered when Rose ghosted Ed by taking off from the resort in the middle of the night....first and only time I recall anyone on this franchise saying enough is enough, I am dirt poor but have my dignity and won't tolerate this treatment. Maybe Hamza's mom and sister will chase Memphis out of town. 

I cheered Rose too. F@ck Ed. But I wish he and Xiemena would get together. if anyone needs to tangle with a hitman its Ed. 

[Hotel Snarker]

I was feeling absolutely crushed for Mike. Meeting the whole family, getting invested in the kids lives, and then having a bomb dropped on you like that? That’s insane. I get wanting to tell them in person, but it feels so weird with how supportive Mike has been, financially and everything, and to not tell him.

If Mike traveled around Colombia for a month, he could find a woman who is way more of a catch than Ximena, and she probably wouldn't come with conjugal visit offspring.

Why was Memphis speaking like a cave man? Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?

“I’m sexy baby. I’m sexy.” Doesn’t matter how many times I replay it, I laugh. If ever I’m in bed with a guy and things don’t go well, this is what I want them to tell me. Instant forgiveness. The next time my husband is mad at me, I’m responding “I am sexy, baby I am sexy.”

But sex is all Memphis and Hamza have. And it's not even good sex. Tragic.

Establishing shot of Hamza’s apartment interlaced with Memphis moaning and groaning. Memphis: Ahhh ohhhh aahhhh yeahhhh oooooh ugh yeahhh. Zoom in on bedroom window from exterior shot…Now move into interior shot of Memphis gutting a fish in the kitchen and definitely not having sex. TLC directors deserve at least an Oscar nom for 2022 Best Editing…

Did it not occur to Memphis that maybe he was quick because he was listening for his mom in the next room? I feel like that would be a real mood killer.

Hamza's mom seems sweet. I feel bad for the poor lady. Hamza is the perfect himbo.

I’m so grossed out by both Memphis and Hamza. Him with the only thing he can say “big boobies, Memphis” and “sexy time” and then giggling like a teenager and her referring to sex as “sexy time”. And Memphis with her ridiculous English; “me walk” “me no get fat”. She’s Rebecca, basically. Oh my God, I just can’t with either of them.

I just can’t believe Memphis had the gall to complain to Hamza about how fast he had sex. In freaking public. Then in the same breath wants to have his mom like her? Dude, maybe if you, I dunno, respected the rules of her religion and house maybe this wouldn’t be an issue! She first insulted Hamza’s mother by having premarital sexy time in her home, then tried to fix things by insulting her food and refusing to help her cook. What a class act. Why didn’t she just get a hotel room like a grown adult? Guys, do you think that Memphis’s past relationships have failed because she only cares about sex and not love? Why or why not?

Gino has heavy never-nude vibes with the hat in bed. Never Nude Hatman says he's a rockstar when it comes to cooking eggs then proceeds to make basic ass scrambled eggs with egg being the only ingredient.

"All I want for Christmas" is ...a toothbrush? Really? A fuckin’ toothbrush. So cringy, it’s almost not believable. Women do not want a toothbrush as a gift.

Gino can’t afford to dress respectfully or buy Jasmine a Christmas gift but can afford a new baby? He’s delusional. She’s told him ten times she’s vegan and he asks how many eggs she wants. He’s an asshole. I mean, he doesn’t have a job and doesn’t want to drop $500 on a new wardrobe, but is trying to get Jasmine pregnant. I guess this tracks.

When she held up the shirt that said "I'm the crazy girlfriend" then did that laugh, and the face she made while laughing, I lost it.

Class action suit against TLC for being scarred by a sex scene. I’m talking about the soft porn scene between Caleb and Alina, which made me so, so profoundly uncomfortable. I’ve never seen the show linger to that extent on an intimate moment — it felt simultaneously manufactured and exploitative, pruriently leering at how a little person has sex. Deeply icky. Made me so uncomfortable I wanted to throw the remote at the TV like it was an intruder in my home.

Despite that last scene, I don’t think Caleb is actually attracted to Alina. In my opinion/experience, after you’ve been emotionally intimate, it doesn’t take days to figure out if you’re attracted to them after you meet. It’s instantaneous. I think it was performative cause he didn’t want to be the bad guy.

I want to know more about that brief shot of Turkey where a guy was pushing a stroller with two bunnies in it.

Ella, that car ride shows you need a therapist, not a new man. Did they cut her segment oddly because she was sweating bullets and then her trainer said let’s go work out? Then she added how most women deal with seeing our Chinese boyfriends we met online for the first time and wanting to lose an extra 10 lbs. Girl, you are the only one.

How adorable do you think Stony’s little intro was? He was such a cutie. I don’t think Johnny is gonna make it to Idaho Falls though.

Mahogany is for sure a catfish, and the fact that it took 6 episodes means it ain’t much.

This season might be, overall, the biggest shit show so far. Every couple is a mess.

[1011101010001]

Were Johnny and Stony fishing for koi?  I thought they are ornamental.

[Mrs. Hanson]

Gino's eggs?  My son, when he was 8, did better.  He put milk, cheese and chives in it.

I am going to take my nightly bubble bath, and I am NOT going to let Badmus and Slam T ruin it.

[b2H]

On 1/10/2022 at 2:49 PM, MrBuhBye said:

I took four years of a foreign language and never learned the word for ejaculate.  Why would she think he would know that?

Yours was clearly not a ‘conversational’ foreign language education.  Conversational usually includes all the words one does not use in polite company.   😂 

Edited January 13, 2022 by b2H

[IvySpice]

On 1/10/2022 at 9:38 PM, ChiMama said:

Why does she have to talk about it at all? Especially to Elijah?

Because that's what a gay best friend is FOR!

[Uncle JUICE]

10 hours ago, b2H said:

Yours was clearly not a ‘conversational’ foreign language education.  Conversational usually includes all the words one does not use in polite company.   😂 

Missed opportunity to see if the gesture for blowing loads really IS international.

[1011101010001]

12 hours ago, b2H said:

Yours was clearly not a ‘conversational’ foreign language education.  Conversational usually includes all the words one does not use in polite company.   😂 

It’s a scientific term though. We did learn throwing ropes.  Jk.

[FrancescaFiore]

Found on Instagram. Died laughing. 

[magemaud]

On 1/12/2022 at 9:29 AM, Drogo said:

In this photo she looks like Dollar Tree’s version of Chantal, on fourth grade Picture Day?  Hey Memphis say “bitchass-slutass-whore” for us real quick.  Find a mirror, probably.
 

To be Chantal, she has the required "big boobies" but really needs to up her false eyelash game, 

[1011101010001]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

To be Chantal, she has the required "big boobies" but really needs to up her false eyelash game, 

And master speaking through clenched teeth.

[Baltimore Betty]

8 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

And master speaking through clenched teeth.

And must know how to say "Bitch ass, slut ass, whore," in Arabic.

[Rebky]

On 1/12/2022 at 4:23 PM, Hotel Snarker said:

(Snip)

“I’m sexy baby. I’m sexy.” Doesn’t matter how many times I replay it, I laugh. If ever I’m in bed with a guy and things don’t go well, this is what I want them to tell me. Instant forgiveness. The next time my husband is mad at me, I’m responding “I am sexy, baby I am sexy.”

But sex is all Memphis and Hamza have. And it's not even good sex. Tragic.

Establishing shot of Hamza’s apartment interlaced with Memphis moaning and groaning. Memphis: Ahhh ohhhh aahhhh yeahhhh oooooh ugh yeahhh. Zoom in on bedroom window from exterior shot…Now move into interior shot of Memphis gutting a fish in the kitchen and definitely not having sex. TLC directors deserve at least an Oscar nom for 2022 Best Editing…

Did it not occur to Memphis that maybe he was quick because he was listening for his mom in the next room? I feel like that would be a real mood killer.

Hamza's mom seems sweet. I feel bad for the poor lady. Hamza is the perfect himbo.

I’m so grossed out by both Memphis and Hamza. Him with the only thing he can say “big boobies, Memphis” and “sexy time” and then giggling like a teenager and her referring to sex as “sexy time”. And Memphis with her ridiculous English; “me walk” “me no get fat”. She’s Rebecca, basically. Oh my God, I just can’t with either of them.

I just can’t believe Memphis had the gall to complain to Hamza about how fast he had sex. In freaking public. Then in the same breath wants to have his mom like her? Dude, maybe if you, I dunno, respected the rules of her religion and house maybe this wouldn’t be an issue! She first insulted Hamza’s mother by having premarital sexy time in her home, then tried to fix things by insulting her food and refusing to help her cook. What a class act. Why didn’t she just get a hotel room like a grown adult? Guys, do you think that Memphis’s past relationships have failed because she only cares about sex and not love? Why or why not?

Gino has heavy never-nude vibes with the hat in bed. Never Nude Hatman says he's a rockstar when it comes to cooking eggs then proceeds to make basic ass scrambled eggs with egg being the only ingredient.

"All I want for Christmas" is ...a toothbrush? Really? A fuckin’ toothbrush. So cringy, it’s almost not believable. Women do not want a toothbrush as a gift.

Gino can’t afford to dress respectfully or buy Jasmine a Christmas gift but can afford a new baby? He’s delusional. She’s told him ten times she’s vegan and he asks how many eggs she wants. He’s an asshole. I mean, he doesn’t have a job and doesn’t want to drop $500 on a new wardrobe, but is trying to get Jasmine pregnant. I guess this tracks.

When she held up the shirt that said "I'm the crazy girlfriend" then did that laugh, and the face she made while laughing, I lost it.

Class action suit against TLC for being scarred by a sex scene. I’m talking about the soft porn scene between Caleb and Alina, which made me so, so profoundly uncomfortable. I’ve never seen the show linger to that extent on an intimate moment — it felt simultaneously manufactured and exploitative, pruriently leering at how a little person has sex. Deeply icky. Made me so uncomfortable I wanted to throw the remote at the TV like it was an intruder in my home.

Despite that last scene, I don’t think Caleb is actually attracted to Alina. In my opinion/experience, after you’ve been emotionally intimate, it doesn’t take days to figure out if you’re attracted to them after you meet. It’s instantaneous. I think it was performative cause he didn’t want to be the bad guy.

I want to know more about that brief shot of Turkey where a guy was pushing a stroller with two bunnies in it.

Ella, that car ride shows you need a therapist, not a new man. Did they cut her segment oddly because she was sweating bullets and then her trainer said let’s go work out? Then she added how most women deal with seeing our Chinese boyfriends we met online for the first time and wanting to lose an extra 10 lbs. Girl, you are the only one.

How adorable do you think Stony’s little intro was? He was such a cutie. I don’t think Johnny is gonna make it to Idaho Falls though.

Mahogany is for sure a catfish, and the fact that it took 6 episodes means it ain’t much.

This season might be, overall, the biggest shit show so far. Every couple is a mess.

Of course, he is parroting what NashvilleTM said to him online.  Remember, babee?? I sexy. You said I sexy!  I must be sexy!!!!!!!

Edited January 14, 2022 by Rebky

[CrazyInAlabama]

I'm so glad they're rerunning this tonight.   I had to turn everything off during a lightning storm last Sunday, and the last 30 minutes always have the best stuff.  

I don't blame Hamza's mother worrying about her son, and Memphis.  

[Mrs. Landingham]

On 1/11/2022 at 8:08 AM, Drogo said:

I just wanted to tell Memphis "Honey it doesn't matter how slowly you pronounce 'ejaculate' it's still not going to be one of the five English words he knows.  

I wanted to sink through the floor of my own damn house when she said “eeejaaackuuulayyte?” with that expectant look on her face. 

[LennieBriscoe]

On 1/8/2022 at 10:17 AM, Polliwollidoodle said:

Wow. I usually doze off and miss quite a bit but pretty sure with Xiomena she had her tubes tied and"burned" yes she said that! So she cannot have any more babies. 

She'd be fairly accurate, as the "tied" Fallopian tubes are cauterized.

[Baltimore Betty]

3 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

She'd be fairly accurate, as the "tied" Fallopian tubes are cauterized.

She frames it as there was something medically wrong with her that she cannot have another baby.  It was her choice and I doubt she regrets it no matter if Mike was in the picture or not, Mike would have shown up even if he knew the truth, he is that desperate.

 

[Mrs. Landingham]

Nothing to see here. 

Edited January 17, 2022 by Mrs. Landingham

[Xebug67]

On 1/12/2022 at 12:15 AM, magemaud said:

In looking at her photos online, her part seems to move depending on where she plasters down her wig. She also appears to have a shorter dark wig that is parted  low on her RIGHT side (or maybe the photo is reversed) 

Her hair/wig just looks so greasy and dirty when you look at it really closely.  And WTF is the top portion of your head one color and the bottom another?  I just hate the ombre look.  It's so stupid.

Edited January 24, 2022 by Xebug67

[ALittleShelfish]

Well, I'm going to give her a pass on the "stupid ombre" look.  As someone whose hair doesn't take to color very well, regardless of who colors it, how they color it, how i care for it after, what products I use,  how much money I spend... my hair tends to look like this after a bit anyway.  And I like my hair. 💁‍♀️

With that said, me and my stupid ombre hair think Memphis took a page right out of the Nickel and Brittany playbook and did zero homework in regards to dude's homeland, culture, customs, and ... anything else even remotely about him.  While this was a cute storyline for the first couple of seasons (but was it really?), the fine folks at TLC sure know how to beat a dead horse.  

Gino reminds me and my stupid ombre hair of a very slow McDonald's Larry and his RV from a few seasons ago.  I have watched this episode and this episode only lol but I think he can be taken advantage of and brush it off like "Meh.  You know how crazy women are!" not realizing how much bigger the target on his back is becoming for the next even crazier scammer.  These clowns all need therapy and to stay off of the social media or dating apps.  

[lamujerdecente]

On 1/10/2022 at 5:26 PM, JeanJean said:

Hope you feel better soon!

Jasmine has issues (possibly from abuse) and needs anger management. I hope she gets it. I also hope that guy banned her from the salon but he seems too charmed to have done that. I'm sorry about any abuse but you're not a puppy, Jasmine.

I'm one of those who has empathy for Ximina. (Not sure of spelling.) She's a young woman with young children in what seems to be a desperate situation, but it's also wrong to use Mike. I hope they can work it out so they are all safe AND happy.

Off topic but my test was negative, one of Baby Daddy's was positive but then a day later he went to the ER and was negative. 

Stay safe and Vaxed My loves. His daughter has cystic fibrosis and did test positive but she has been FINE. Vaccines work folks. 

Off my rant. I have empathy for Ximina as well. I grew up poor in NYC and if not for an education that my mother fought my father for, who knows where my sister and I would be. A friend of mine is Dominicana and she really put in perspective a Privilege I never realized I had. Both my parents spoke, read and wrote English. None of my Grandparents but my Maternal Granddad could read or write in any language. My mother, like my Amiga was her parent's translator. 

My Father felt more comfortable in Spanish than English, but my mother was fluent in both. That meant she understood a lot of things about education and such that helps lift folks out of poverty. Ximena, Hazmat, even Usman - have limited opportunities that were literally just Geographical destiny. Being born in the poor caste in The Usa and hovered there my entire life here but the last few years of my marriage to my lovely husband, it puts things in perspective about how life isn't always rose-colored choices for many. 

Thats why Kim felt so gross to me this episode. Imagine if that was a DUDE doing that to a girl. Memphis too with her bullying that slow man child, I also wonder if he will face repercussions for all these things, he is doing on camera that is not allowed culturally or religious. 

[Dirtybubble]

Moved this post to Spoilers

Edited January 26, 2022 by Dirtybubble
Moved post

[Eater of Worlds]

On 1/9/2022 at 1:12 PM, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Ximena. Something was lost in the translation for me on her description and suffering w/ the pain of a c section. Like rusty scalpel and no anesthesia c section suffering? Or feeling like "less than" because you could not deliver your baby without surgery.  I feel it is the 2nd and a cultural thing. 

Heck, in the US they are making women go home after a C-section without narcotics.  Telling them that advil and tylenol is enough.  It's terrible what they are doing to women right now.  Anyway, Colombia is one of the countries that heavily limits medication used for pain control both in the hospital after surgeries and also at home for recovery.  Even cancer patients don't get the care they need and Colombia is one of the better countries in Latin America.  I fully believe that she was sent home completely unmedicated and in pain and in total misery two times and was afraid of it happening a third time.

Caleb rubbed me the wrong way completely.  He saw that she used a wheelchair, saw what she looked like standing yet was totally oblivious to her need of an elevator.  He couldn't even ask "what things do you need for accessibility so I can pick the right kind of hotel/activities to do?"  He had her do a freakin' physical workout!! simply because he enjoyed it without, again, any consideration of what her needs are.  He said he always spoke to her from the waist up and not full body but he had seen pictures of her.  That was completely on him to ask questions about what her needs are when he was picking out the hotel.  He picked what he liked, didn't ask her what she needed.  I am disabled and I would be furious if a partner I've been speaking to for 13 years didn't take that into consideration.  It was also upsetting that he just figured he could bounce her up and down the stairs in her chair without being as gentle as possible.  As Elijah said, there is a person in the chair not just a thing he's moving round

And to add, while I completely agree with Gino not wanting to spend 500 bucks on clothing, he could have put a little bit of thought into the gifts he was getting for Jasmine.  Jasmine's gifts to him were not expensive but they put thought in them, and they also poked a little bit of fun at herself for being difficult.  There was a complete lack of understanding on his part regarding the gifting.

Edited February 22, 2022 by Eater of Worlds