S05.E16: Crab-boiling Over

[TexasGal]

Quote

The group wraps up its trip with a crab boil - and things between Ashley and Gordon get heated. 

Airdate: 10.24.2021

[sATL]

16 eposides.... trying to think what all has been accomplished, in 4 months...

[LaurelleJ]

Just waiting to see if there will be outrage over Ashley's Alzheimers comment, the same amount of outrage if Candiace were to have said it. If the argument is that Ashley can say it (which she shouldn't have) because her husband is also old, then people will have to stop complaining about Candiace's comments about Ashley's white husband since Candiace's husband is also white. 

I think the Alzheimers comment was in poor taste, regardless of who said it. Keep on living.

[Stats Queen]

G is as creepy as Michael Darby and both really creep me out and need to go far, far away from me.
Ashley being so unnerved, repulsed and discombobulated by Gs words and actions is fascinating since that is what her husband has done repeatedly to others over the years.

Edited October 25, 2021 by Stats Queen

[bosawks]

Ashley sees the inner Michael Darby in G and it freaks her out.

[Ms.Lulu]

Please, please Bravotv, make Mia one and done.  She adds nothing to the show.  

[Axie]

My father died from complications of Alzheimer’s and I find G’s behavior much more offensive than Ashley’s comment.

[spunky]

If Candiace made the Alzheimers comment, Gizelle and Robyn would have jumped down her throat with both feet.  It was beyond inappropriate and disgusting. I wonder what Karen has to say after seeing this,  seeing that she had so much to say about Candiace. In the words of Brooke Ashley,  colorism is the 8th housewife.

Edited October 25, 2021 by spunky

[TexasGal]

Those poor butterflies!  Wasted for a sad vow renewal.

[Stats Queen]

11 minutes ago, Stats Queen said:

G is as creepy as Michael Darby and gives me the hebbie jebbies (not sure how to spell that)
Ashley being so unnerved, repulsed and discombobulated by Gs words and actions is fascinating since that is what her husband has done repeatedly to others over the years.

Karen, your “invite” was nice in theory, but just wrong in execution in so many ways.

G for his and Mia’s anniversary decides to have a staycation - after a year and many months being stuck at home - just no.

[Axie]

Mia, you didn’t just come back from Chesapeake.  You came back from St. Michaels or the Eastern Shore.

Poor butterflies!  What did they do to deserve a death like that?

Edited October 25, 2021 by Axie

[Stats Queen]

What the hell is Mia doing having her mom on the show? 

[TexasGal]

Gizelle - invest in a new strapless bra please.  I don’t want to see your boob muffin top.  Thanks.

[bosawks]

I can’t think of anything I would enjoy more as a teenager than having a talk with my mother about her emotional unavailability in relationships.

[truthaboutluv]

DAMN, WOW. Did Gizelle's kid just call her a vampire that comes across like she has no emotions at all? Again, DAMN....  I mean it's one thing for me from the comfort of my couch to think it but when her own damn kids are saying it? Ouch... 

[Stats Queen]

3 minutes ago, bosawks said:

I can’t think of anything I would enjoy more as a teenager than having a talk with my mother about her emotional unavailability in relationships.

On camera…

Another example of RH kids giving sage advice to their parents vs. the other way around.

[truthaboutluv]

25 minutes ago, Stats Queen said:

Karen, your “invite” was nice in theory, but just wrong in execution in so many ways.

Gizelle read this one right. Karen stay having these "grande" invite ideas, I guess to match her so-called Grande Dame-ness but instead of grande they are often a combination of cringey and just plain weird. 

Also, clearly Mia wasn't paying attention in class when they taught about metamorphosis, using the life cycle of a butterfly as an example. 

Edited October 25, 2021 by truthaboutluv

[bosawks]

There are no words to quantify how little I care about the status of intimacy in the Darby marriage.

[Axie]

9 minutes ago, TexasGal said:

Gizelle - invest in a new strapless bra please.  I don’t want to see your boob muffin top.  Thanks.

Honestly, I’d rather see that than Ashley breastfeeding.  Again.

[bosawks]

2 minutes ago, truthaboutluv said:

Also, clearly Mia wasn't paying attention in class when they taught about metamorphosis, using the life cycle of a butterfly as an example. 

She actually got way closer than I thought she would have….

I hope this photographer got hazard pay.

[Axie]

This show is like a referendum on shi**y mothers.

[TexasGal]

7 minutes ago, bosawks said:

There are no words to quantify how little I care about the status of intimacy in the Darby marriage.

How about watching their clearly not staged attempt at intimacy?  (Barf)

[spunky]

I can identify with Wendy. Trinidadian parents are the same way. They push you into the medical field or to be a lawyer.  And they never say sorry. 

[LaurelleJ]

I'm surprised that we are just now learning that Michael used to own the Watergate property. I would think that they would have let us know that in season 1, unless I just missed it. 

Oh lord, Michael is going on and on about Juan hahahaha. The irony in Ashley wondering about Robyn and Juan's relationship in season 1 only for us to now know that Michael is in love with Juan. I am grossed out that they keep trying to show us intimate moments between Ashley and Michael.

Edited October 25, 2021 by LaurelleJ

[Stats Queen]

1 minute ago, TexasGal said:

How about watching their clearly not staged attempt at intimacy?  (Barf)

Right, now I’m going to having really, really bad dreams.

That montage with Michael and Juan, man I love the editors…

[Keywestclubkid]

Did he really start talking about buttons on the toilet? Lol 

[bosawks]

I feel like we should file a class action suit against BRAVO for making us watch that.

[Stats Queen]

This “counselor(?) Giselle is seeing … just a big flag for me. He’s reading eyes and spouting out words…

Most professionals in the field who will film in are suspect to me until they prove otherwise.

[spunky]

2 minutes ago, Stats Queen said:

This “counselor(?) Giselle is seeing … just a big flag for me. He’s reading eyes and spouting out words…

Most professionals in the field who will film in are suspect to me until they prove otherwise.

He was also Candiace's therapist,  until he wasn't. She's going to someone who is not trying to be the next Dr. Phil. My guess is Gizelle only goes to therapy when she's filming.

[FlyingEgret]

I am way more interested in the buttons next to the toilet than the Darby's intimacies.  Seriously, what do they control???

[Stats Queen]

12 minutes ago, spunky said:

He was also Candiace's therapist,  until he wasn't. She's going to someone who is not trying to be the next Dr. Phil. My guess is Gizelle only goes to therapy when she's filming.

I think it might Dr. Ken who was also on RHOA and RHONJ, but now he has hair?…

[spunky]

12 minutes ago, Stats Queen said:

I think it might Dr. Ken who was also on RHOA and RHONJ, but now he has hair?…

He's Bravo's traveling therapist. 

[Axie]

9 minutes ago, spunky said:

He's Bravo's traveling therapist. 

The “Where’s Waldo” of Bravo.  Where is he and when’s he going to show up?

[mbaywife123]

Gizelle girls just totally READ her ass.

That so called dr. Is such a quack, I wouldn't tell him my grocery list!

In the preview Michael is once again insuating  that someone put hands on him, he really is just desperate to go after someone else's coins, he is just SO gross!

Also, Juan just basically told Robyn to fuck off and sped off leaving her in a cloud of fumes!

 

[Axie]

I’m wondering what Michael’s involvement with the Watergate was.  Although it’s iconic, it also has a history of poor construction issues.  Just wondering if he was a contractor.

[Marley]

Michael is like in love with Juan. It’s creepy. He probably thinks of Juan when he has sex with other ppl. Because I doubt he’s only getting with Ashley. 

2 stupid therapy sessions in one episode? Boo. Not interested. Therapy session on housewives shows are the worst.

They did a flashback to a scene that we saw happen like 15 mins before and was in the exact same episode. Wtf was that. We remember.

Jamal is a dog. Gizelle you talking about your feelings would not have changed things lolz

How could Gizelle not know this stuff about her kids. She had a horrible relationship with their father. Like next level bad. She has fake relationship storylines. What did she think her kids would think about what a joke both her and Jamal are.

Karen cracks me up. Her butterfly invitations were a disaster but it’s just so typical Karen lol.

Ashley and Michael are just trash.

 

Edited October 25, 2021 by Marley

[mbaywife123]

Robyn calling Wendy a bad hostess was just WTF.

As far as I can remember Robyn has not hosted one damn thing since the beginning of this franchise!

[Axie]

Ashley, when your therapist said “it’s probably hard to have a conversation with him around,” when talking about having a conversation with Michael while Dylan screams in the background, she may have also been subtly telling you to leave Dylan at home when visiting her, too.

[Axie]

Michael really needs to just come out and say, “Juan is the wind beneath my wings.”

[RealReality]

3 hours ago, bosawks said:

There are no words to quantify how little I care about the status of intimacy in the Darby marriage.

Point to the places on the dolls where you don't want to see the Darbys touch.  What's that?  You threw the dolls out the window?

1 hour ago, Axie said:

Michael really needs to just come out and say, “Juan is the wind beneath my wings.”

Michael's crush on Juan lasted longer than my crush on that guy on Bridgeton.  

In case you care I'm back to my original love Idris.  

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, mbaywife123 said:

Robyn calling Wendy a bad hostess was just WTF.

As far as I can remember Robyn has not hosted one damn thing since the beginning of this franchise!

She did.  I think gizelle was late and was penalized somehow right?

[Chatty Cake]

Nothing says romance like Ashley and Michael washing down cheesecake with Corona and then Michael talking about Juan.
 

[Vanderboom]

6 hours ago, Marley said:

Therapy session on housewives shows are the worst.

They're tied with psychics/mediums as the most trite producer shenanigan.

 

6 hours ago, mbaywife123 said:

As far as I can remember Robyn has not hosted one damn thing since the beginning of this franchise!

Well, she DID invite the ladies to her Open House during her house-flipping stage. It was the only time I remember Robyn confronting Gizelle on her shady behavior. And she co-hosted the podcast launch gathering in which Robyn the Queen of Event Planning unnecessarily told all the guests that there were conversations about barring certain people from the restrooms.

I have mixed feelings about Wendy this season, but she was right to call Gizelle and Robyn "petulant children."

[eXiled]

Shut up, Ashley! So proud of your struggle situationship and trying to shade others when your husband's heart belongs to Juan Dixon.

Adolescent rebellion is so real. If you want your children to do something, model the opposite. I loved seeing how pretty and put-together Gizelle's girls looked while standing next to their mother who was wearing ripped jeans that make her legs look like sausages and an ill-fitting top (and the too-small bra beneath it). I salute whoever taught those babies how to put themselves together.

"It's been fifty years of struggle." Whoa. I don't need Karen to come for Gizelle anymore. Just send Giz's daughters. Everything they say is true and she'd receive it better. I'm starting to root for that vampire, though. I hate that EveryHue appears to have been permanently shelved.

 

[Maximona]

Huh.

Personally, I was beyond creeped out by Gizelle's therapy session.  What the hell is wrong with being an independent woman who does not need to be in a relationship?  And I ask this as someone who is happily married.  This whole deal whereby parenting now not only includes working yourself to the bone to feed, clothe and house kids plus buy them the right Christmas toys but also modeling behaviors that are based on some Neanderthal concept of partnership strikes me as deeply cray cray.

And I was Team Wendy's mother all the way.  That selective memory game some adults try to guilt-trip their parents with is a total drag.

Ashley...  I guess I'm a distinct minority here because I like Ashley.  She gets that she was hired by Bravo to stir shit up, so that's what she does.  She grew up in poverty, wanting to be rich, so she set her cap for the former owner of the Watergate and made sure the prenup gave her pay-out enough to maintain the lifestyle to which she wanted to become accustomed.  There is not one ounce of sexual tension in feeding someone cheesecake with your hair in a greasy bun in a room with seriously ugly furnishings, but she knew it's what the Bravo producers wanted, so she gave it to them.  I could almost read the thought balloon over her head:  In another year, I can ditch this asshole and start to live.  I am picturing living for Ashley as being some place like Laurel Canyon in the late 70s/early 80s.

Also, why isn't PETA picketing Karen?  Putting living creatures in an airtight box?  That is so fuckin' cruel.

Edited October 25, 2021 by Maximona

[Baltimore Betty]

Gizelle and her Garden Center heart to heart talk with her girls, why would you take advice from your teens about how closed off you are and that is why you cannot have a successful relationship, really?  

The butterfly invites probably only went to the HW's, the other guests probably got evites because they were not being filmed.

CRINGE!!!! Ashley and Michael's attempt at the on camera soft porn sexy time.  I don't think Michael was the sole owner of the Watergate Hotel complex, maybe part of a company he had an interest in?

Karen stumbling trying to pop out of a cake was lame but the non plus reaction the other HW's had was epic!

Wendy never seems comfortable in her own skin or being on camera. 

Robyn and Juan just need to call it, Juan is miserable with Robin.  I wonder if that house they are building is really an investment thing.

What is Mia's plan with her mother, she begs to have a relationship with her then talks about how inept her mother is when babysitting her kids, no wonder that women keeps her distance from Mia, who needs that grief which is now being broadcast on TV.  With all G's money Mia should hire a babysitter for a date night, like an every Saturday night standing appointment.

 

[LaurelleJ]

9 hours ago, mbaywife123 said:

Robyn calling Wendy a bad hostess was just WTF.

As far as I can remember Robyn has not hosted one damn thing since the beginning of this franchise!

I believe Robyn hosted the trip to the Cayman Islands, where she missed the flight to her one trip, so she has nothing to say about Wendy's hosting skills. 

[spunky]

The ladies spoke about Karen's invitation on the after show. Ashley said she thought it was confetti or glitter until she opened it. One of the butterflies flew under her couch and died.

Candiace  said "someone needs to call PETA because animal cruelty was running amok in these boxes." She said for some reason she originally thought they were roaches until she saw the pattern. She said all of her butterflies except for 2 were DOA, and only one manged to escape because the other one died when it tried to fly away. I don't know what Karen was thinking when she came up with that invitation .

Edited October 25, 2021 by spunky

[Rlb8031]

12 hours ago, Stats Queen said:

Karen, your “invite” was nice in theory, but just wrong in execution in so many ways.

G for his and Mia’s anniversary decides to have a staycation - after a year and many months being stuck at home - just no.

I'm not going to fault G and Mia on the staycation. G is a man of a certain age. Having been in the northeast/mid-Atlantic where the pandemic hit first and where shutdown/lockdowns were taken more seriously, I can understand maybe not wanting to drive or fly somewhere. Imagine having been home for six months, going on your first trip to FL or TX and then contracting COVID. I'd have been heated. It sounds like they tries to simply do a day or two away at a hotel. I know that at one point, my family and I were simply looking to see a different four walls, and a nice hotel suite would have worked out great for us. Also, it sounds like they wanted to be closer just in case something blew up with Mia's mom (which it did).

Completely understandable, especially if you are in a high-risk group like G's old ass. 

[Mr. Miner]

$45 for Wendy's single wick candle. No Thanks!