S13.E05: The Keys to My Heart

[Kiss my mutt]

Sure, Johnny and Bao are ethnically similar and they look cute together but  I don’t think they are compatible once you go beyond that. I’m not feeling the love for any of them anymore since Michaela’s freak out and they really the only ones I thought has a chance. 
Aren’t the cast supposed to quarantine before the show starts so they aren’t exposed to COVID ?

[Lindz]

Michaela telling Zack, "That's so mean," when he said he couldn't be near her is ridiculous. She sounds juvenile or mentally imbalanced. Smh

[Baltimore Betty]

2 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Michaela telling Zack, "That's so mean," when he said he couldn't be near her is ridiculous. She sounds juvenile or mentally imbalanced. Smh

Was she taking his Covid possibility personally? WTF?  If my partner was having symptoms and wanted to sleep in the same bed or be in the room with me I'd be pissed, why does she not see the value in what he is doing?

I noticed that every couple has a two bedroom suite, are any of the couples using the second bedroom, also the second bedroom did not seem to have windows?

[Maximadc]

On 8/19/2021 at 8:38 AM, Yeah No said:

Stay WITH him or stay at the resort but not in the same room with him?  She shouldn't have been in the same room with him in that scene much less quarantine with him in the hotel room.  That's a given, but there's no reason she couldn't have stayed either in another room or at another hotel and salvaged what she could of the vacation.  Plus Covid tests have been known to be inaccurate in the early pre-symptom stages so perhaps it would have been more appropriate for her to isolate and quarantine herself for a certain amount of time before traveling back home and potentially putting other people at risk.

Who would be paying for an extra room? I’m sure that Sharp didn’t have this expense in his books 

[Maximadc]

1 hour ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Sure, Johnny and Bao are ethnically similar and they look cute together but  I don’t think they are compatible once you go beyond that. I’m not feeling the love for any of them anymore since Michaela’s freak out and they really the only ones I thought has a chance. 
Aren’t the cast supposed to quarantine before the show starts so they aren’t exposed to COVID ?

I thought so too. Plus, Zack just attended the bachelor party and his wedding 2 and 1 days ago. What about those people?

 

[glitterpussy]

OMG I just want to take Brett and get her a decent bra fitting! Honey! You can't be letting those things flop around like that. I'm a busty gal myself, I get it--its expensive and exhausting getting the right bra to support the girls, but it's so worth it! Also you NEED a bra top swimsuit. That is all.

[glitterpussy]

23 hours ago, evansmom10 said:

I was laughing b/c for as bougie as she pretends to be, she sure did call them "maca-ROONS" I was rolling. 

She's so desperate to appear rich, it's absolutely pathetic. Any real rich person would cringe and laugh at her. Listen, there nothing wrong with liking and having nice things. But there's a time and a place, it doesn't have to be your entire persona. 

[Maximadc]

On 8/19/2021 at 4:57 PM, pdlinda said:

I'm completely with you in being STUNNED at her remark!  I FF and REW 2X to make sure I heard her correctly, and I did!  What's gong on with her???

Bao is the cleanest, always well put together girl in this group with very good hair. I don’t believe anything they are saying anymore.

[Maximadc]

Marla is destroying her career as an educator in front of my eyes. I don’t believe any principal is going to follow her advice after this show. 
I don’t believe she can give any kind of advice with a very limited time of field experience anyway. Whoever hired her for that job was an idiot.

I looked and her salary is probably around 100000 a year, which is good but not something you can feel so proud about.

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, Maximadc said:

I looked and her salary is probably around 100000 a year, which is good but not something you can feel so proud about.

Myrla sucks but if she went from poverty to six figures, she should indeed feel proud. Only something like 10% of the US working population earns six figures (or more) annually.

[kristen111]

5 hours ago, shannew said:

Lets swap JamieO for Gil hosting Unfiltered.    

I would LOVE that.  If only.

[kristen111]

4 hours ago, glitterpussy said:

OMG I just want to take Brett and get her a decent bra fitting! Honey! You can't be letting those things flop around like that. I'm a busty gal myself, I get it--its expensive and exhausting getting the right bra to support the girls, but it's so worth it! Also you NEED a bra top swimsuit. That is all.

That’s supposed to be sexy?  They look sloppy.  Are they real or fake?  

 

 

[greeneyedscorpio]

32 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

That’s supposed to be sexy?  They look sloppy.  Are they real or fake?  

 

 

Hers are real.  Myrla's are fake

 

[Alexander Pope]

On 8/18/2021 at 6:39 PM, Racj82 said:

Quick antidote.

I put the show on in the breakroom of my job.

The part of the episode where Johnny and Jose were shopping.

One of my friends saw Jose for the first time ever and said

"Hey, did that guy right there with the beard come out of the closet yet?"

it was like an episode of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy!!

[Alexander Pope]

On 8/19/2021 at 6:19 AM, kristen111 said:

Myrla is bitching about the hotel.  It’s COVID, and the accommodations are scarce.  I didn’t like how she left Gil to go to the pool by himself and be ith the others.  Didn’t he say she was working?  A pain from the start.  Btw, those eyelashes do her no favors.  She’s not as gorgeous as she thinks also.

Myrla's hair always looks super greasy.  Maybe she doesn't have time to wash it since she is busy doing her 50 step skin regimen?

[Kiss my mutt]

Maybe she doesn’t want to get her extensions wet! 

[LennieBriscoe]

5 hours ago, Maximadc said:

Marla is destroying her career as an educator in front of my eyes. I don’t believe any principal is going to follow her advice after this show. 
I don’t believe she can give any kind of advice with a very limited time of field experience anyway. Whoever hired her for that job was an idiot.

I looked and her salary is probably around 100000 a year, which is good but not something you can feel so proud about.

I think $100K is great, and I would  be proud of that attainment. But maybe we educators have a different  perspective 

[Lindz]

So Zack tests positive for Covid... WHY are they talking about it WITHOUT wearing masks???!!!! So ridiculous!!

[Lindz]

Gil is so frustrated with Myrla not kissing him. He's making it worse by digging into the other couples' relations. Makes no sense. I think he's gunna lessen his chances with his impatience. He seems to be running out of patience more & more. 😅

[LennieBriscoe]

6 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Gil is so frustrated with Myrla not kissing him. He's making it worse by digging into the other couples' relations. Makes no sense. I think he's gunna lessen his chances with his impatience. He seems to be running out of patience more & more. 😅

 Myrla and Gil speak to each other with smiles on their respective faces.

I'm guessing their thought bubbles say, "Bless your heart."

[Lindz]

Brett seems to be taking it slow while Ryan seems to be pushing sex. It's creepy. 

[Lindz]

Johnny is too much. It's been FOUR DAYS & his insecurity is already making him crazy. He "really likes" her? Um. OK. Nbd. CHILL!! He looked like he was on the verge of tears. He's so desperate for reassurance, it's not a good look. It felt a little manipulative. Like, he got her to say she liked him, to justify expecting more physical. & then Bao. Ya. His story teasing her about her snoring was stupid, but she also takes it too far. I can't tell if she's trying to make him comfortable with the barrier or using it as an excuse. Then, she suggested sleeping separately if her snoring bothered him. I can't tell if it's really what she wants or is being nice when it comes off as cold or what. I'll prolly never know.😅

Edited August 21, 2021 by Lindz

[Lindz]

Jose is so creepy at times. That's what Rachel gets for rushing into physical. The man has you feed him!!! & they are building each other up too much like they're perfect people. That reality check is gunna hurt!! 😅😂

[endure]

On 8/18/2021 at 7:43 PM, Kira53 said:

I was surprised that they agreed that she go back to Houston. Why? I mean I'm really really cautious with Covid and everything but I think I would want to stay and hang out outside 12 feet apart.  Yeah maybe he sent her back because he knows she's crazy and she wouldn't stay 12 or even 6 feet away or break in to the room or something. I mean I don't see it being more fun than Houston but I guess her family is there. Now I think Zack should drop her because she is crazy and unreasonable but he'll have to learn more about her to do that.

Wouldn’t she have to quarantine, i personally would want to stay right there in a room with room service etc and would not want to risk infecting other people in case I had Covid by flying back to Houston.

 

[endure]

On 8/18/2021 at 6:19 PM, rebel2u said:

Poor Gil.  He's 4 days in and already knows he's doomed.

Yet he seems to be having fun with it, i don’t  really get them yet but I do feel these two are both more than capable of taking care of themselves.  I see where she could wear him down with her expectations but they seem oddly flirtatious too and he does want to kiss her.  Sometimes i feel like she is off the charts and other times I like her frankness.  I totally respected her opinion about the honeymoon location, it does look like a senior  inspired resort. I think i would have felt some disappointment too.

[Baltimore Betty]

7 hours ago, Lindz said:

Brett seems to be taking it slow while Ryan seems to be pushing sex. It's creepy. 

Ryan does not even look at her when they are talking, surely she has got to notice, right?

Ryan seems like he would be lazy in bed, like he is such a catch and such a chill bro he does not have to do any of the work.

There is nothing in this relationship for Brett, Ryan will not be happy with her, his body language says it, his sooner rather than later sex request, it is clear he does not really care how she feels.  I suggest she not go the distance until he starts looking at her when they are having a convo and really listens to what she is saying.

Does Ryan think this is like picking up a girl at a bar situation, he is thinking like how long do I have to sit on this bar stool and buy drinks for this girl until she comes home with me so I can screw her and then get her an Uber.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

I think he's gunna lessen his chances with his impatience.

He has no chance. He knows it. She knows it. We know it. The guy who cleans the pool at the resort knows it.

[LuvMyShows]

 

On 8/19/2021 at 12:09 AM, Yeah No said:

Brett can't help being well endowed but she does herself no favors with "her favorite bathing suit" because an 8 inch long cleavage and boobs hanging down to an inch above your navel is just not attractive.  That top made her look really saggy and not in a good way.  Her wedding gown suffered from the same problem.  

On 8/19/2021 at 11:36 AM, seacliffsal said:

I thought Brett looked great in the dress she wore on their date night.  One could still see that she had large breasts, but they weren't the first things one saw when she had that dress on (her eyes and face drew first attention rather than her breasts).  

On 8/19/2021 at 3:01 PM, humbleopinion said:

Brett's low hanging fruit was not quite as ghastly as JOtis' sides of beef but nevertheless frightful....

Agreed on all counts.  But the Unfiltered was truly awful because it was more egregious and was a carefully selected outfit for her Unfiltered debut.  You know she tried on multiple outfits, and that was what she chose?  Almost the entirety of each breast was exposed, right up to where her nips would be.  And as usual, they were low-hanging and saggy. 

I don't understand why no one in her life hasn't suggested they go on a girlfriends shopping trip, and since she clearly likes revealing clothing, at least have her try on things that support her ample bosom.  Then, once she has hopefully converted to that, the next step would be to have her understand the less-is-more style of sexy...where you leave something to the imagination!

[Yeah No]

2 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

Agreed on all counts.  But the Unfiltered was truly awful because it was more egregious and was a carefully selected outfit for her Unfiltered debut.  You know she tried on multiple outfits, and that was what she chose?  Almost the entirety of each breast was exposed, right up to where her nips would be.  And as usual, they were low-hanging and saggy. 

I don't understand why no one in her life hasn't suggested they go on a girlfriends shopping trip, and since she clearly likes revealing clothing, at least have her try on things that support her ample bosom.  Then, once she has hopefully converted to that, the next step would be to have her understand the less-is-more style of sexy...where you leave something to the imagination!

Yeah, I agree, Brett's Unfiltered outfit was the worst.  My husband couldn't verbalize why Rachel's plunging top was not anywhere near as bad as Brett's on that episode so I froze the frame and gave him a phrase straight out of "What not to Wear" - the difference was that Rachel's "girls" were "locked and loaded" while Brett's were swinging free with absolutely zero support.

I guess Brett never watched that show when it was still on the air, but she obviously should have.

[zenme]

I think Gil’s questions to the couples was producer driven. I’ve noticed this on other seasons as well. They get one person to ask the probing questions we all want to know. No one IRL asks those questions of others  unless they’re good friends, and sometimes not even then. Gil doesn’t strike me as being that nosy. He is very outgoing and personable though, and so maybe that’s why they asked him to be the “moderator.”

[Yeah No]

11 hours ago, Lindz said:

Brett seems to be taking it slow while Ryan seems to be pushing sex. It's creepy. 

Ryan doesn't want to wait or work for it and it is a little creepy, but the way she dresses with her girls close to popping a nip slip at any time is not exactly sending "take it slow" signals.  I'm not justifying his expectations whatsoever but she has to think about what message her clothing (or lack thereof) might inadvertently send to someone she barely knows.

[Yeah No]

19 hours ago, Maximadc said:

Who would be paying for an extra room? I’m sure that Sharp didn’t have this expense in his books 

Given all the money the show must be making now that they've added ten zillion more commercials per hour of show and low budget filler and couples cam episodes to their lineup they have no justification for not paying for a room for Michaela, IMHO.

Plus she was potentially exposed to Covid - even if she turned up negative it really pisses me off how they don't know by now that an early test, especially if it's a rapid one is often not accurate.  Letting her travel like that was just IMHO irresponsible.

Who is "Sharp"?

[Empress1]

Just now, Yeah No said:

Who is "Sharp"?

The production company behind the show -Sharp Entertainment.

[cinsays]

19 hours ago, Maximadc said:

Bao is the cleanest, always well put together girl in this group with very good hair. I don’t believe anything they are saying anymore.

isn't it possible that Bao was talking about when she was at camp and besides not sleeping she didn't bathe everyday?  i would think that would not be so unusual to skip a day in that circumstance.

we know the producers just cut and paste things to make things more interesting/shocking 

 

[Lindz]

I'm shocked Myrla actually had the right reaction to his macaron surprise. Lost points with everything else tho: his gift options, flight on the sea plane (partial credit for doing it). Looks like next week will be more of the same. She gives him a chocolate chip cookie surprise, but says she doesn't want a dog. Oy

[cinsays]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

He has no chance. He knows it. She knows it. We know it. The guy who cleans the pool at the resort knows it.

why would he want a chance with her? i think he figured our real early that this is a losing situation and he's just staying and making the best of it

[LennieBriscoe]

1 hour ago, LuvMyShows said:

 

Agreed on all counts.  But the Unfiltered was truly awful because it was more egregious and was a carefully selected outfit for her Unfiltered debut.  You know she tried on multiple outfits, and that was what she chose?  Almost the entirety of each breast was exposed, right up to where her nips would be.  And as usual, they were low-hanging and saggy. 

I don't understand why no one in her life hasn't suggested they go on a girlfriends shopping trip, and since she clearly likes revealing clothing, at least have her try on things that support her ample bosom.  Then, once she has hopefully converted to that, the next step would be to have her understand the less-is-more style of sexy...where you leave something to the imagination!

Jose might be available. 😉

[LennieBriscoe]

1 hour ago, Lindz said:

I'm shocked Myrla actually had the right reaction to his macaron surprise. Lost points with everything else tho: his gift options, flight on the sea plane (partial credit for doing it). Looks like next week will be more of the same. She gives him a chocolate chip cookie surprise, but says she doesn't want a dog. Oy

Myrla has been upfront about dogs from the application process. 🚫🐕

As for that sea plane surprise, anybody does that to me had better supply the Dramamine, too, or suffer the consequences! 😲🚽

 

Edited August 21, 2021 by LennieBriscoe

[buttersister]

I like Gil, but play to your wife or play to the camera? When did he have time to think up and make those arrangements?

MAFS Production List of Things Your New Spouse Won’t Appreciate ☑️

[Lindz]

Johnny's wrinkled shirt was pretty ridiculous. I'll never understand people who can just put on clothes with fold lines like that. It looks so bad! I guess Jose missed that in his consultation. 😅 Good thing he didn't get Bao any of those dresses.

[TzuShih]

On 8/19/2021 at 12:19 PM, Elizzikra said:

As for Myrla and the plane ride - I almost felt a little sympathy for her. I get terrible motion sickness as well and it usually lasts for awhile after the activity is over. But dude - dramamine works like a charm. 

I just HAD to agree with Elizzakira here that Dramamine can be a 'drug of mercy' to those affected by motion sickness.  It saved my life on a trip to Disney World many years ago, when it helped me conquer some of the park's zaniest roller coasters!!  (I've always LOVED coasters, but Dramamine has kept me going right into my senior years!!)  (Sorry for this "ad," but I hope Myrla (and anyone reading this) gives it a try rather than miss out on a fun time.  🙃

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, TzuShih said:

I just HAD to agree with Elizzakira here that Dramamine can be a 'drug of mercy' to those affected by motion sickness.  It saved my life on a trip to Disney World many years ago, when it helped me conquer some of the park's zaniest roller coasters!!  (I've always LOVED coasters, but Dramamine has kept me going right into my senior years!!)  (Sorry for this "ad," but I hope Myrla (and anyone reading this) gives it a try rather than miss out on a fun time.  🙃

Not to be a pill like Myrla, but nothing has worked for me, that's how bad my motion sickness is.  I have tried everything from bracelets to patches, you name it.  I can't take antihistamines (make me feel sick in a different way) so forget the Dramamine or other OTC meds.  Anti-nausea medication (Zofran) works a little but not enough, it's that bad.  And not to scare anyone but it gets worse as you get older.

I hope Myrla doesn't have motion sickness as bad as I do, that would really suck.  I wouldn't be able to go in those crazy boat rides they often do on this show.  I would end up in bed for a day after that for sure.  No helicopter rides, no small planes, no flight simulators, no carnival rides.  It sucks.  I used to be able to tolerate rollercoasters pretty well and going out on small boats but no more.

I hate the thought that if Myrla couldn't do any of those things she would come off looking even worse than she does. But I try to have a little empathy for her.  Her pill-ish attitude may have arisen out of hardships of different kinds.  Being poor is one of them, having motion sickness is another.  We don't know what else she's hiding.  She wants to project this image of being high class, but it's not something you can buy and she only ends up looking even more low class as a result.

Interestingly I took ginger pills the other day to help with indigestion and went out in the car as a passenger.  I had to look at my phone at one point and noticed that I didn't feel nauseous like I usually would for not looking out the window.  Then I found out that ginger can help with motion sickness.  I wonder how well that would work for other activities and how long the effects will last.  I'll have to check it out.  So anyway if Myrla or anyone else with motion sickness reads this, try ginger capsules.

[Jeanne222]

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Not to be a pill like Myrla, but nothing has worked for me, that's how bad my motion sickness is.  I have tried everything from bracelets to patches, you name it.  I can't take antihistamines (make me feel sick in a different way) so forget the Dramamine or other OTC meds.  Anti-nausea medication (Zofran) works a little but not enough, it's that bad.  And not to scare anyone but it gets worse as you get older.

I hope Myrla doesn't have motion sickness as bad as I do, that would really suck.  I wouldn't be able to go in those crazy boat rides they often do on this show.  I would end up in bed for a day after that for sure.  No helicopter rides, no small planes, no flight simulators, no carnival rides.  It sucks.  I used to be able to tolerate rollercoasters pretty well and going out on small boats but no more.

I hate the thought that if Myrla couldn't do any of those things she would come off looking even worse than she does. But I try to have a little empathy for her.  Her pill-ish attitude may have arisen out of hardships of different kinds.  Being poor is one of them, having motion sickness is another.  We don't know what else she's hiding.  She wants to project this image of being high class, but it's not something you can buy and she only ends up looking even more low class as a result.

Interestingly I took ginger pills the other day to help with indigestion and went out in the car as a passenger.  I had to look at my phone at one point and noticed that I didn't feel nauseous like I usually would for not looking out the window.  Then I found out that ginger can help with motion sickness.  I wonder how well that would work for other activities and how long the effects will last.  I'll have to check it out.  So anyway if Myrla or anyone else with motion sickness reads this, try ginger capsules.

Ginger is very good for many things.  I always have ginger ale in my pantry for upset stomachs.

Daughter uses the ginger chews she buys at the health food store when she flies!

Never thought about it being good for motion sichness.  Thank you.

[LennieBriscoe]

Okay, I can concede that Myrla is high-maintenance (although what's wrong with taking care of one's only complexion, I do not know!). But before Gil thinks about divorcing her, he should read this!

https://theadultman.com/love-and-lust/high-maintenance-girl/#should_you_date_a_high_maintenance_girl

 

[Alexander Pope]

19 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Okay, I can concede that Myrla is high-maintenance (although what's wrong with taking care of one's only complexion, I do not know!). But before Gil thinks about divorcing her, he should read this!

https://theadultman.com/love-and-lust/high-maintenance-girl/#should_you_date_a_high_maintenance_girl

 

You're right, there is nothing at all wrong with having a skin regimen!  Hers is particularly elaborate (the literal definition of high maintenance, like eyelashes that require weekly touch ups).  It is just  part of a bigger picture in Myrla's case.  I am sure he would happily wait for her to go through all 50 steps if he thought he might get a kiss when she was finished!

Edited August 22, 2021 by Alexander Pope

[humbleopinion]

38 minutes ago, Alexander Pope said:

You're right, there is nothing at all wrong with having a skin regimen!  Hers is particularly elaborate (the literal definition of high maintenance, like eyelashes that require weekly touch ups).  It is just  part of a bigger picture in Myrla's case.  I am sure he would happily wait for her to go through all 50 steps if he thought he might get a kiss when she was finished!

Dallas Amber is the reigning Queen of MAFS Lotions and Potions and facial cleansing rituals.

Myrla's 30 min night time routine is not too extra. She probably spends 20 of the 30 minutes staring into the mirror counting and mourning her lost lashes.

Edited August 22, 2021 by humbleopinion

[LennieBriscoe]

I am an eyelash fanatic, owning kazillion mascaras! But never will I allow fake-eyelash glue or the fingers of someone not a doctor get near my eyelids!

Unless....unless I had a serious loss of eyelashes. 

[qtpye]

On 8/20/2021 at 3:12 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

Sure, Johnny and Bao are ethnically similar and they look cute together but  I don’t think they are compatible once you go beyond that. I’m not feeling the love for any of them anymore since Michaela’s freak out and they really the only ones I thought has a chance. 
Aren’t the cast supposed to quarantine before the show starts so they aren’t exposed to COVID ?

What is hilarious is that I understand what you are saying about ethnically similar. We all want them to work (including me) because they are the first Asian American couple to be featured on the show.

What is funny is that we never do this with white people.

We never say "Hey she is Scottish and he is sort of Scottish...so match made in Heaven".

[Elizzikra]

Quote

We all want them to work (including me) because they are the first Asian American couple to be featured on the show.

Maybe I'm lacking self awareness but I don't think that I want them to work because they are the first Asian American couple to be featured on the show. I think they both seem like nice people who might actually genuinely be looking for a good marriage. They seem to genuinely like one another and to be making a solid effort to find common ground. They remind me of Jessica and Austin from the Arlington, VA season. 

[qtpye]

17 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Maybe I'm lacking self awareness but I don't think that I want them to work because they are the first Asian American couple to be featured on the show. I think they both seem like nice people who might actually genuinely be looking for a good marriage. They seem to genuinely like one another and to be making a solid effort to find common ground. They remind me of Jessica and Austin from the Arlington, VA season. 

I think it is more of like not reading too much into things like both of them wanting a tea ceremony at the wedding.

Yes, they are adorable together and we would be rooting for them regardless of their ethnicity.

I loved Virgin Iris and Keith together because they were a beautiful couple.

This is a very shallow reason for wanting two people to be together and they did not work out.