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S13.E05: The Keys to My Heart


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Man, reading these comments does not make me want to watch this episode. I was busy last night with back to school kids stuff, so I didn't get to it. Now I'm not sure I even want to bother. These people are a joke. If they have just decided they don't actually care AT ALL about matching people for success, then they just need to own it and make this show like the Australia version where they don't actually get "a legally binding marriage". It's completely fake, and at least they let people leave when it's horrible. This show is turning into that except these people end up having to get a real divorce.

I thing someone like Myrla would love that because she could have gotten exactly what she wanted - a big wedding with the dress of her dreams and then she could bounce after the honeymoon with zero repercussions, and Gil would be blessedly free to resume his life no harm, no foul.

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(edited)
32 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Man, reading these comments does not make me want to watch this episode. I was busy last night with back to school kids stuff, so I didn't get to it. Now I'm not sure I even want to bother.

Come wallow in the muck with us....

FOMO will set in when you read future comments when we refer back to the honeymoon.

You can fill out those packets of health questionnaires for each kid while you watch Episode 5.....

IMHO, Unfiltered for Episode 5 was better than the episode because the panel was Bao, Rachel and Brett.

Edited by humbleopinion
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8 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I tuned in to Unfiltered, saw Jamie and her uncovered ham hocks and one prominently displayed leg they kept showing, then I changed the channel.

Brett's low hanging fruit was not quite as ghastly as JOtis' sides of beef but nevertheless frightful....

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4 hours ago, Allison1 said:

That discussion made me cringe for her - not must the money but his assumption she'd move into his house because "he's the man".    DH and I have never had joint accounts and we've been married since 1973.  We are each responsible for certain bills and we make sure they get paid.    

I've been married for 31 years, so not as long as you have, but this fascinates me. We have a joint account and I've always wondered how married people with their own accounts do this.  So the bills get paid and you each get to keep what is left from your paychecks?  What if one greatly out-earns the other?  What if there are things that need to be bought for the household?  I'm thinking stuff like carpet, furniture, etc.  Halfsies on that even if one makes much more money than the other?  

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18 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Please tell me I misheard and that Bao didn't say that bathing is not a priority.  

I'm completely with you in being STUNNED at her remark!  I FF and REW 2X to make sure I heard her correctly, and I did!  What's gong on with her???

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17 hours ago, Kira53 said:

Did Myrla call them macaroons?  Macaroons are coconut cookies with chocolate on the top.  They were French macarons, a totally different pastry. https://www.goldbelly.com/laduree/gourmandise-box-of-24-macarons?gclid=CjwKCAjw3_KIBhA2EiwAaAAlig2qWOy7Yj4rYqe_2__kwVfnVyg-UpahnMDRxr8o-NmFDBe-DljJsBoC8P0QAvD_BwE

 

I was laughing b/c for as bougie as she pretends to be, she sure did call them "maca-ROONS" I was rolling. 

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8 hours ago, kristen111 said:

She’s not as gorgeous as she thinks also.

So very TRUE!  And....the stringy hair certainly doesn't help.  My contention is that her 3 "handlers" (bro and 2 "friends") have convinced her that she's the prize of the century and NO MAN is worthy of her charms, SO-O-O-O-O-O  she acts accordingly.  

I believe the producers knew she was "poison" but still chose to cast her.  Gil will have many, many stories to tell his future wife about this "beauty" they paired him with on national (international) TV😄

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Michaela strikes me as one of those crazy people who would hide behind the dumpster, jump out when she saw her boyfriend/husband with another woman, and start fighting. *

*I actually had a friend do that.  I swear it wasn't me!  😇

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With regard to snoring, my ex-husband used to snore and it drove me crazy (I need to get my sleep!). But there was no sweeter sound than my old dog snoring next to me in bed. If Bao is so self-conscious about it, she should have made an appointment with an ENT doctor. She’s not a stupid woman; surely she knew she’d end up in bed at some point when she agreed to be on MAFS.

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36 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

If Bao is so self-conscious about it, she should have made an appointment with an ENT doctor. She’s not a stupid woman; surely she knew she’d end up in bed at some point when she agreed to be on MAFS.

This was so odd to me, too. Snoring is a huge source of anxiety for her, but she hasn't tried to do anything about it? Even if she didn't know whether there were treatments, you'd think she would google it just to check since it's an issue. I know people who snore can be very sensitive about having it pointed out, but people who share a bed or sleeping space with snorers are suffering, too. (And society can be so judgy about couples who sleep separately.) 

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29 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

This was so odd to me, too. Snoring is a huge source of anxiety for her, but she hasn't tried to do anything about it? Even if she didn't know whether there were treatments, you'd think she would google it just to check since it's an issue.

I think I read that Bao had 3 broken engagements??  Maybe the snoring issue was at least in part responsible because I noted that she told Johnny (with some resignation in her voice) that they could sleep in separate beds and he looked back at her with what I interpreted as a look of horror!

This seems to be a critical point of defining Bao's self esteem and having such a crucial "shame issue" might torpedo a relationship (marriage) if it isn't acknowledged and acted upon in a responsible way.  

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2 hours ago, pdlinda said:

I'm completely with you in being STUNNED at her remark!  I FF and REW 2X to make sure I heard her correctly, and I did!  What's gong on with her???

Y'all, I have barely recovered from Ashton Kutcher announcing to the world that he only splashes his face and pits (what some might call a "ho bath") after he works out and Kristen Bell saying she and her husband don't bathe their kids until they can smell them, and the ensuring firestorm on Twitter of people announcing "I haven't used soap in two years/swimming in the ocean counts as a bath/I don't wash anything below my neck/washing every day is classist" and on and on. I cannot deal with Bao announcing that bathing isn't a priority.

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4 minutes ago, pdlinda said:

I think I read that Bao had 3 broken engagements??  Maybe the snoring issue was at least in part responsible because I noted that she told Johnny (with some resignation in her voice) that they could sleep in separate beds and he looked back at her with what I interpreted as a look of horror!

This seems to be a critical point of defining Bao's self esteem and having such a crucial "shame issue" might torpedo a relationship (marriage) if it isn't acknowledged and acted upon in a responsible way.  

All good points! I didn't even think to connect the broken engagements. Maybe there's some reason she can't have the problem fixed. I don't know much about it because the snorers in my life haven't bothered to do anything about it, either. 

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20 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Ryan doesn't even look at Brett when he talks.  He looks away.  He only looks at her when silent.  He still can't seem to muster up a smile.  He always looks depressed and socially anxious.  It's almost like Henry but not quite.

Editing.  They aren't going to be showing him smiling - that not the script they wrote for him.  But he's smiling in the aftershow.

11 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I can't tell if Ryan's affect is grief or if he's not into Brett. Even when he's joking, he looks sad.

See above.

3 hours ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

I've been married for 31 years, so not as long as you have, but this fascinates me. We have a joint account and I've always wondered how married people with their own accounts do this.  So the bills get paid and you each get to keep what is left from your paychecks?  What if one greatly out-earns the other?  What if there are things that need to be bought for the household?  I'm thinking stuff like carpet, furniture, etc.  Halfsies on that even if one makes much more money than the other?  

I think a lot of these people make very similar amounts. 

What about a man that makes $100,000 suggesting to go 50% 50% with a women that was making $6,000 in an internship?  Knew he didn't care......  

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Quote

I noted that she told Johnny (with some resignation in her voice) that they could sleep in separate beds and he looked back at her with what I interpreted as a look of horror!

Earplugs. Cheap and effective.

Quote

We have a joint account and I've always wondered how married people with their own accounts do this.  So the bills get paid and you each get to keep what is left from your paychecks?  What if one greatly out-earns the other?  What if there are things that need to be bought for the household?  I'm thinking stuff like carpet, furniture, etc.  Halfsies on that even if one makes much more money than the other?  

I married later in life and moved into my husband's house. He makes more than I do and I wouldn't say we have a super formal arrangement but we do discuss all purchase over about $500 and make those decisions together. I picked up paying some routine bills and also put in a chunk of money for a home renovation we did after I moved in. 

I think a joint household account makes sense, and I think contributing based on income also makes sense but different couples do different things. If Jose owns his home and isn't going to put his wife on the deed, then I'm not sure it makes sense for her to contribute to the mortgage. Then again, if she weren't living with him, she would be paying rent somewhere - so maybe she contributes to the monthly payments but not any improvements (or if she does, they have a postnuptial agreement outlining how much she takes out of the house if they split). I like maintaining an individual account because I think it's important to have some money that is sort of all your own, that you can spend and not have to justify to the other spouse. Plus I can buy birthday/Christmas/anniversary/ just because gifts and have them be surprises. More important than the mechanics, though, are values about money. I'm a spender and my husband is a saver. I knew that going into our marriage and I wanted to be better about budgeting and saving. But if I didn't have that attitude - and if we didn't agree to each have some discretionary spending money - we would be butting heads all the time. And yes, I know it's a privilege and a blessing to have sufficient funds to not have to choose what bills to pay each month and to even be able to think about discretionary spending :)

Edited by Elizzikra
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7 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Man, reading these comments does not make me want to watch this episode. I was busy last night with back to school kids stuff, so I didn't get to it. Now I'm not sure I even want to bother. These people are a joke. If they have just decided they don't actually care AT ALL about matching people for success, then they just need to own it and make this show like the Australia version where they don't actually get "a legally binding marriage". It's completely fake, and at least they let people leave when it's horrible. This show is turning into that except these people end up having to get a real divorce.

I thing someone like Myrla would love that because she could have gotten exactly what she wanted - a big wedding with the dress of her dreams and then she could bounce after the honeymoon with zero repercussions, and Gil would be blessedly free to resume his life no harm, no foul.

Looking at Myrla again on her wedding day.  Her beautiful long bridal veil did not go with that gown that looked too much like a dress you would wear in Vegas at a nite club.  Good thing she didn’t wear that in a church.

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On 8/18/2021 at 7:36 PM, LennieBriscoe said:

Funny; I came here to post the exact reverse! Myrla has, in her marriage, shown none of the traits Gil is broken-record stuck on. Lumberjammies are not, e.g., evidence of "high maintenance." So what has been?

 

  • Her 30 minute facial routine
  • her demand that her ring be upgraded even though she’s not even comfortable enough in her marriage to kiss him
  • the way her lights lit up when he mentioned a Cartier bracelet being a good gift for her (coupled with)
  • her disdain for Gil’s joke about giving her a quilt
  • her multiple complaints about the resort.   It wasn’t luxury but it wasn’t a dump either.   Fine to express disappointment but her harping was diva-sequel
  • her complaints about having 3 lashes if she didn’t get a fill soon.   
  • I’m also guessing the lumberjammies were designer. 😀
  • bragging about throwing tantrums when she doesn’t get her way

She’s high maintenance.   And it doesn’t appear to be a dealbreaker for Gil, but it does seem to be a red flag.   Gil also appears to be that cast member willing to do the producers bidding.   Which is why he was leading all the personal question discussions and sharing so much in talking heads.

 

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My prediction is that Johnny is one of those people who likes to climb into bed fresh from a shower, and Bao would just as soon wait to shower in the morning, or something like that.  Nothing about how Bao has been presented to us supports the idea that she doesn't have a regular hygiene routine.

Also, she did a really bad and convoluted job of saying "I am very self-conscious about my snoring and you are making me feel uncomfortable when you keep bringing it up," and he did a very bad job of saying "I'm so sorry, I will stop teasing you about it now that I know it is bothering you."

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1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Slobbery mouth guards scented with morning breath.....

Ick..Rain check on morning sex...

I have a night time ritual, and thank goodness my husband laughs about it.  A sound machine for outside noises, nose spray, tissues, cough drops, eye mask, my little pillow to hold, water, and Tylenol if needed.  He has to sleep in his Jets t shirt and yellow hospital socks.  I also make my own pillows as I like very little stuffing.  Him too.  

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(edited)
18 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I have a night time ritual, and thank goodness my husband laughs about it.  A sound machine for outside noises, nose spray, tissues, cough drops, eye mask, my little pillow to hold, water, and Tylenol if needed.  He has to sleep in his Jets t shirt and yellow hospital socks.  I also make my own pillows as I like very little stuffing.  Him too.  

Your little pillows piqued my interest.

Large bloaty pillows aren’t comfortable…your neck gets jammed into painful angles.

Flat and thin are more ergonomic.

Apparently Johnny has a 5 pillow system he leaves in place when Bao made their bed in the mornings.

 

Edited by humbleopinion
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Just now, humbleopinion said:

Yes.

I buy the white stuffing in a craft store or Walmart, buy a silk zipper pillow case in Bed, Bath & Beyond.  Fill as much as you like (we like them soft), then put a regular pillow case on.  I’ve tried many pillows in my life .. sponge, hard, soft, and get headaches.  My own I squish up to my liking.  The stuffing comes in a bag and looks like fluffy cotton.  So easy.

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(edited)
14 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I buy the white stuffing in a craft store or Walmart, buy a silk zipper pillow case in Bed, Bath & Beyond.  Fill as much as you like (we like them soft), then put a regular pillow case on.  I’ve tried many pillows in my life .. sponge, hard, soft, and get headaches.  My own I squish up to my liking.  The stuffing comes in a bag and looks like fluffy cotton.  So easy.

Last night for the horrid pillows on my bed, all going straight into the trash bin come morning.

Kristenpillows will be their replacements.

Merci. 

 

Edited by humbleopinion
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9 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Last night for the horrid pillows on my bed, all going straight into the trash bin come morning.

Kristenpillows will be their replacements.

Merci. I 

 

P.S.  I put my home made pillow against a regular pillow for a little height, then squish mine to feel comfortable. 😀

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1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

 

Apparently Johnny has a 5 pillow system he leaves in place when Bao made their bed in the mornings.

 

I have a 4 pillow system if you count my body pillow. And when my husband is working out of town, it becomes a 5 pillow system as well. A little pyramid type under my head, one body pillow on my right side and when my husband is gone, his body pillow on my left so that I feel like I am in a little coccoon. Sleeping patterns and confort levels are weird. 

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2 hours ago, After7Only said:
  • Her 30 minute facial routine
  • her demand that her ring be upgraded even though she’s not even comfortable enough in her marriage to kiss him
  • the way her lights lit up when he mentioned a Cartier bracelet being a good gift for her (coupled with)
  • her disdain for Gil’s joke about giving her a quilt
  • her multiple complaints about the resort.   It wasn’t luxury but it wasn’t a dump either.   Fine to express disappointment but her harping was diva-sequel
  • her complaints about having 3 lashes if she didn’t get a fill soon.   
  • I’m also guessing the lumberjammies were designer. 😀
  • bragging about throwing tantrums when she doesn’t get her way

Good list. The endless kvetching during the flight in the seaplane would have made me want to fling open the door and push her out.

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Re: Bao and the lack of showering priority, and based on the editing in the “next time on…” and Bai’s past tense use, my guess is she was referring to a larger piece of a story when they either worked together in college or when she was a counselor at that camp she said was so awful for her with her fear of snoring that she didn’t sleep. Not convinced it’s a current situation.

Subject change: As someone who has suffered a lifetime of allergies and chronic stuffy nose that nothing truly helps (I’ve tried it all, I promise) snoring is a part of my life and I understood her insecurity and being teased about it. It’s perceived as “unfeminine” and can really do a number in self confidence with an intimate partner.  I do also see the other side in that it’s a sleep disrupter and can be a deal breaker for some couples and that pressure adds to the insecurity. Thank god my husband also snores and we can tease each other equally about it.

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16 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Rachel knows Jose's ego and whole machismo attitude rests on the old school tradition that he is perceived as the Head of their Household and a good provider, both important to their Mexican culture....

Rachel wants to modify that perception... she works and wants to be an equal partner in contributing to the success of the home and family...that Latin women she knows have always been important in the financial wealth of families but stand silently behind their husband as they take the credit for being a strong HoH because of tradition not reality...

That’s extremely old school. With that being said, if I were Rachel, given her debt, I’d be excited to have Jose to help me get that under control. I think it would behoove them to consult a financial advisor to come up with a budget framework they’ll both be happy with. That way Jose won’t resent Rachel and her debt, and Rachel won’t feel she’s being controlled. 

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7 hours ago, sara416 said:

I have a 4 pillow system if you count my body pillow. And when my husband is working out of town, it becomes a 5 pillow system as well. A little pyramid type under my head, one body pillow on my right side and when my husband is gone, his body pillow on my left so that I feel like I am in a little coccoon. Sleeping patterns and confort levels are weird. 

Lol .. see I’m not the only one.  I also make one to hold against me and put my arm on to make me more comfy.  You’re right, like a little cocoon. 😂 Can’t sleep on hotel ones either, so always bring my own.

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20 hours ago, Allison1 said:

That discussion made me cringe for her - not must the money but his assumption she'd move into his house because "he's the man".    DH and I have never had joint accounts and we've been married since 1973.  We are each responsible for certain bills and we make sure they get paid.    

Congrats on close to 50 years of marriage! Not married yet but this is exactly how I've always envisioned handling the household finances. 

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On 8/19/2021 at 6:19 AM, kristen111 said:

Myrla is bitching about the hotel.  It’s COVID, and the accommodations are scarce.  I didn’t like how she left Gil to go to the pool by himself and be ith the others.  Didn’t he say she was working?  A pain from the start.  Btw, those eyelashes do her no favors.  She’s not as gorgeous as she thinks also.

image.thumb.png.b88cb60c27b48e8b6e509939042b3313.png

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13 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Earplugs. Cheap and effective.

That's what I do.  My husband snores on occasion and when he does it's LOUD.  Bao should try to elevate her head somewhat as that also helps.  I sleep with 3 pillows.  Two are memory foam, but the soft kind that shapes to my head, not the kind that is fat and as hard as a rock (I get them at Costco).  They are mostly flat not fat.  My husband says the elevation they provide has reduced my snoring significantly.  Our next bed is going to be adjustable to help with that problem.

13 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I married later in life and moved into my husband's house. He makes more than I do and I wouldn't say we have a super formal arrangement but we do discuss all purchase over about $500 and make those decisions together. I picked up paying some routine bills and also put in a chunk of money for a home renovation we did after I moved in. 

I think a joint household account makes sense, and I think contributing based on income also makes sense but different couples do different things. If Jose owns his home and isn't going to put his wife on the deed, then I'm not sure it makes sense for her to contribute to the mortgage. Then again, if she weren't living with him, she would be paying rent somewhere - so maybe she contributes to the monthly payments but not any improvements (or if she does, they have a postnuptial agreement outlining how much she takes out of the house if they split). I like maintaining an individual account because I think it's important to have some money that is sort of all your own, that you can spend and not have to justify to the other spouse. Plus I can buy birthday/Christmas/anniversary/ just because gifts and have them be surprises. More important than the mechanics, though, are values about money. I'm a spender and my husband is a saver. I knew that going into our marriage and I wanted to be better about budgeting and saving. But if I didn't have that attitude - and if we didn't agree to each have some discretionary spending money - we would be butting heads all the time. And yes, I know it's a privilege and a blessing to have sufficient funds to not have to choose what bills to pay each month and to even be able to think about discretionary spending :)

I have the exact same arrangement with my husband as you.  It has changed somewhat over the years depending on our situations.  When he was out of work I switched to covering most of the bills myself and vice versa.  We worked it out on a somewhat sliding scale basis according to our ability to pay. 

I have not worked in a few years but I have had sources of income (such as my eBay sales) so we have made some adjustments since then and he has taken over more of the bills.  When I was working they were split a little more equitably than they are now.  But now he is making a LOT more than I do so he has assumed more of them.  The great thing about having separate accounts and one joint account is that it's easier to make these kinds of adjustments without getting into disagreements about who is paying their "fair share" (however a couple defines that).  My concern is that Rachel seems to want to split every penny down the middle without any adjustments made for who is making more or less money.  I think that not having been down this road before and being hung up on not being controlled by a man, Rachel is not being realistic about this issue and will have to learn in time that it can't be that rigid or that is doomed to create more unnecessary arguments and friction.

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13 hours ago, After7Only said:
  • Her 30 minute facial routine
  • her demand that her ring be upgraded even though she’s not even comfortable enough in her marriage to kiss him
  • the way her lights lit up when he mentioned a Cartier bracelet being a good gift for her (coupled with)
  • her disdain for Gil’s joke about giving her a quilt
  • her multiple complaints about the resort.   It wasn’t luxury but it wasn’t a dump either.   Fine to express disappointment but her harping was diva-sequel
  • her complaints about having 3 lashes if she didn’t get a fill soon.   
  • I’m also guessing the lumberjammies were designer. 😀
  • bragging about throwing tantrums when she doesn’t get her way

She’s high maintenance.   And it doesn’t appear to be a dealbreaker for Gil, but it does seem to be a red flag.   Gil also appears to be that cast member willing to do the producers bidding.   Which is why he was leading all the personal question discussions and sharing so much in talking heads.

 

I don’t think Gil job merits diamonds, etc., unless he works lots of overtime in which he’ll never be home.  Of course production knows this, so they put them together on purpose.  She works now, but what happens if she gets pregnant?  What then?  She doesn’t look the kids type either.  Too selfish.

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On 8/19/2021 at 6:29 AM, Jeanne222 said:

Does Ryan ever smile?  I'll bet all those dates left him!  He's a real downer.  Brett doesn't seem to notice.  Those roots are growing!

Strange how they flew the bride home and left the sick groom all alone!

Myla chose this show because nothing else was working for her.  Gil is cool and patient.  I bet he's wondering what did I do???

The first day on her honeymoon and she has work to do in the room?  I call bullshit.  Firstly, she needs two hours to get ready, and probably didn’t want to sit at the pool and talk to the others.  After all, they are not in her league, as she’s an administrator or whatever she does.  I have more respect for Brett who’s a high school teacher.  Secondly, she would have to confess that she hasn’t really kissed Gil yet, which is a little strange at her age.  What is she a Virgin at 35?  She has nothing in common with the others.  Has she even been with them all at least once?  She’s mad because there’s no beach.  I’d like to dump a pile of sand on her head after ripping her eyelashes out .


 

 

 

 

 

 

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22 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I don’t think Gil job merits diamonds, etc., unless he works lots of overtime in which he’ll never be home.  Of course production knows this, so they put them together on purpose.  She works now, but what happens if she gets pregnant?  What then?  She doesn’t look the kids type either.  Too selfish.

Myrka strikes me as the type who would have a list of traits for a baby, like ordering from a menu, and then wanting to return the baby because it wasn’t what she ordered.

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Wow, Myrla is a piece of work. Gil is at the point where, if she likes something (such as the macarons), he praises her like a toddler who's just learned to use the potty. When he asked her what she likes. "Gifts". But only if they're expensive, designer gifts. As for wanting the ring upgraded, only a 2ct Tiffany cathedral setting (costing more than Gil earns in a year) will do for her, I'm sure. 

I'm seeing cracks appearing in Rachel and Jose's relationship. Pairing someone who's either frugal or good with money with someone who's in debt isn't going to work - but of course makes for good, producer-driven drama. Plus, (my opinion only) he's gay, so there's that too.

Brett has the most emotional maturity of all the participants. Unfortunately, she's been paired with a man-baby who I am fairly sure doesn't find her physically attractive. Despite the fact that he himself is, at best, a 6, I'm sure he thinks Brett isn't up to his standards. I think she's attractive, in a Toni Collette way, but I think a well-fitting bra and swimsuit would make a whole world of difference to her.

Bao and Johnny are cute together, but I think they might both be too rigid and set in their ways to succeed, because compromise is essential and I get the feeling that if either of them has to give a little, they'll begin to resent the other.

I can't believe Michaela was bitching about Zack having Covid. Of course he couldn't fly back to Houston, so it made sense for her to go. Maybe the producers could envisage unnecessary drama from her if she stayed in Florida.

Anyway, here's a song for Myrla with a lesson in it for her.

 

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22 hours ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

I've been married for 31 years, so not as long as you have, but this fascinates me. We have a joint account and I've always wondered how married people with their own accounts do this.  So the bills get paid and you each get to keep what is left from your paychecks?  What if one greatly out-earns the other?  What if there are things that need to be bought for the household?  I'm thinking stuff like carpet, furniture, etc.  Halfsies on that even if one makes much more money than the other?  

Our incomes aren't that different (although I make more).  We just don't sweat the small stuff and we both chip in for major purchases we both want.  I pay more than half the bills because I'm better at making sure bills get paid and he's better at saving.  

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