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Reminder: Episodes happen in episode time.  No spoilers or comments about future events should be posted in this thread. 

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Chrissy returns to LA just before the shutdown and meets Tayler for the first time; the Merrifields say a tearful goodbye to Bert; the Winders debate if they're ready for Kimberley to visit; the Clarks' relationship with Kaleh is tested.

Bachelorette #1 returns to the Snowden house and gets to meet bachelorette #2.  In these blissful early days, will they plan they post the aforementioned "D" schedule on the refrigerator next to the kids' drawings? 

Garrick's dick says a tearful goodbye to Roberta, whereas Dannnnnnielle is tearful because, with her extreme sadness over the situation and the terrible way GarrICK has treated her, tears are her constant companion. 

King and Queen Clark are back yet again to treat Kaleh like garbage.  PPAL not so secretly hopes their relationship is tested by Kaleh saying goodbye and never looking back. 

Original air date 2021.05.03

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(edited)

 

I've reconsidered and it's better that Danielle and Garrick are divorced.  If they were still married, Garrick would take out life insurance on her and kill her and they'd end up being on Dateline.

I don't know  how a woman in her thirties can be so naive and gullible to fall for any of this instead of heading straight to the a divorce attorney and changing the locks the first time Garrick mentioned he wanted this.

Glad to see Kaleh escaped the King and Queen.

Why do the geeky family feel their life is not complete. What are they all looking for when they've settled for an expressionless man who sounds like a leprachaun? 

 

Edited by Leilani
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(edited)

Garrick kills me....he loves the T and A. He doesn’t even know Roberta, they talk through an app like Karine and Paul and look how that turned out.

why did Dani even bother going on the trip? It is obvious this is a trip for Garrick to sex up his new girlfriend. 

Edited by sainte-chapelle
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(edited)

Garrick makes me want to 🤢 vomit.  Dumb ass cry baby.  I think he was hoping Danielle would tell him to stay with Bert and she would go home.  What a dope.

Edited by Emmeline
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2 minutes ago, Leilani said:

How does Danielle not feel like a third wheel on this trip. 

Especially since Garrick makes her feel that way every chance he gets.

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Dannielle pathetically begging GarrICK for sex, asking him if it's "her turn for a quickie", made me absolutely sick.

Girl - have some self-respect, for God's sake. 🤮

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7 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

Dannielle pathetically begging GarrICK for sex, asking him if it's "her turn for a quickie", made me absolutely sick.

Girl - have some self-respect, for God's sake. 🤮

I visibly cringed at that. I also cringed when she was comforting him while he was crying.

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55 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Colton’s excited face looks as dour as his angry face. Any opinions on what his orgasm face looks like?

I don’t want to think about it.

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It’s so obvious that Garrick really doesn’t give a shit about Dannnielle’s feelings. They’d been married for a while (before the unwanted divorce, which will at some point end up being the best decision D ever made) and he HAS to have known that Dannnielle was insecure and unconvinced about the gambit, but he sobs over Roberta and she hasn’t even left yet.

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I don't mind Colton & Co.  They seem like they really believe in this lifestyle.  It's not my thing, but I can't fault them for that.  Colton saying he wasn't very animated made me giggle.

The rest of them are gross. 

Free Dannnnnnielle!    

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Dimitri seemed more into Chrissie than Tayler.  I thought it interesting that he said he hopes the two ladies get along, knowing that the only person they need to get along with is Ashley. 

Carlton had a good point that due to the newborn and pandemic, it was probably not a good time to add another wife. That Tami and Sophia overrode him, led me to believe they don’t really like each other and want a buffer.

Dannielle asking Garrick why she isn't enough for him, broke my heart.  I don't buy his story that Roberta said if Dani isn't happy, she is going to bail.  I believe Roberta felt guilty because Dani looked unhappy.   

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My seeesters! I recognize you guys!

So I just started watching this, and holy hell. 

It's clear that Garrick, and only Garrick, is the one who heard the polygamist cry from God. Those people in the Bible did it and they were "holy"? Dude. People were beheaded and shit, too. You wanna give that a try as well? 

Danielle, take this opportunity and RUN. In the timeless words of Oda Mae Brown, you in danger, girl.  

The Snowdens just wanna be famous, right? What do they do when they're not courting a long line of women? 

Colton is NOT magically delicious.

Glad the one chick realized that she was less wife and more indentured servant and left. 

Some of these people seem like they're just semantics away from human trafficking. 

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Colton say....... . " It's what the Lord wants.  We must follow what God wants":

"God  is willing me to boff multiple women.  So I must listen to his word"

🙄🤮

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1 hour ago, Sasha888 said:

Dannielle pathetically begging GarrICK for sex, asking him if it's "her turn for a quickie", made me absolutely sick.

Girl - have some self-respect, for God's sake. 🤮

I wish she would have snuck a quickie with a stranger, then told Garrick she wanted a brother-husband  to join the family! Two can play his dirty game.

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59 minutes ago, suev3333 said:

Colton say....... . " It's what the Lord wants.  We must follow what God wants":

"God  is willing me to boff multiple women.  So I must listen to his word"

🙄🤮

And it's nice that God only wants this new woman as a third wife if it turns out Colton is actually attracted to her.   God speaks through Colton's penis.

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9 hours ago, steff13 said:

I don't mind Colton & Co.  They seem like they really believe in this lifestyle.  It's not my thing, but I can't fault them for that.  Colton saying he wasn't very animated made me giggle.

The rest of them are gross. 

Free Dannnnnnielle!    

I feel the same way about them, plus he actually has a job that can support them all. 

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7 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

I don't have a problem with the Winders explaining on the show what they believe God is calling them to do. I'm curious why they'd choose this, and them talking about their religious reasons helps me understand why. 

Doesn't mean I agree with their beliefs, but I am starting to believe they actually sincerely believe in something. 

I know some people will scoff and think he's just a perv but I see a HUGE difference between Colton, Tami, and Sophie and the way they approach this, and the way a nasty pig like Garrick approaches polygamy. 

Garrick's "God is calling me to do this" rings SO false to me - it's so obvious to me when it is juxtaposed in the same hour long program with the Winders, who appear to actually be religious (and both wives are on board with this). Garrick tries to say the same religious things, while his wife visibly suffers, and he chases a bikini-clad woman on a beach drinking an alcoholic drink called a "baby maker". 🤮  And then has sex with her quick while his wife's out the room. Yeah, not buying that you are religious at all, buddy. Doesn't seem to be any rules for Garrick at all in his self-made "religion". To me, he's worse than someone who just says "I would like to have lots of wives....no religious reason, it's just what I want." At least THAT would be honest.

Garrick is VILE.

Right. If everyone's on board then, sure, why not? It's not really my place to judge their religious beliefs. (Everything else is fair game, though.) With Ick and Dannielle, however, she's clearly unhappy with the situation and no matter how many times she asks God for strength I'm not convinced she's hearing his call.

Honestly, at this point I'm rooting for Bert and Dani to tell the Joel Osteen lookalike to fuck off and then ride off (on camels) into the sunset together. 

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(edited)
4 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Right. If everyone's on board then, sure, why not? It's not really my place to judge their religious beliefs. (Everything else is fair game, though.) With Ick and Dannielle, however, she's clearly unhappy with the situation and no matter how many times she asks God for strength I'm not convinced she's hearing his call.

Honestly, at this point I'm rooting for Bert and Dani to tell the Joel Osteen lookalike to fuck off and then ride off (on camels) into the sunset together. 

One thing that people seem to forget is that if we ask God for something, the answer may be "No."  Why would God give you patience and take away feelings of jealousy when you are the victim of an emotional abuser?  The victim shouldn't need help to allow someone to continue to abuse them.  Garrick's attitude makes as much sense as if he said, "I asked God to help my family financially and He told me to go rob a bank."

Again I quote I Corinthians 14:33 . . . "For God is not a God of confusion but of peace."

Edited by AZChristian
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I believe the Winders are genuine in their beliefs, but Colton looks so robotic and dead inside I have to wonder if he has issues of some kind. I do feel for Tami because children are so valued in their religion. Garrick is just horrible and Dannielle looks so depressed. Their kids might watch this one day. I hope she is taking steps to make sure Garrick won’t take custody of the kids away . Still don’t like or trust Roberta. I think her concern about Dannielle is all a game.

In terms of the Snowdens I thought that house looked really crowded with five kids and four adults. Hope they had fun during quarantine!

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I just don’t understand how Dannielle goes along with this, she admitted it’s not really what she wanted.  Is that crying jackass so great that she will put up with any BS he throws at her so he can have multiple sex partners.  That is all he really wants, as does king Clarke (he’s still got it🤮).  I hope Kaleh stays far away from them, she is young, smart and pretty and can certainly make a better life for herself.  

The Snowden household is ridiculous, too many people just laying around doing nothing and all those kids in one room.  If I were Chrissy I would not have accepted that situation.  Not sure how smart she is bringing her children into what is now a very bad situation.  I feel like she rushed the process because Tayler jumped the line and was already in the mix permanently .  I can’t wait to see what the outcome there will be, they usually catch us up at the end of the last episode.  I also wish Vanessa would speak up more and spill about her time with them and why she left.  

I don’t mind the Winders, I don’t agree with their lifestyle, but that is their business, and not judging them.  They are really the only ones that seem to be “Mormons” and following a religious belief.  I feel bad for Tami about the miscarriages but Sophie had trouble getting pregnant, maybe the problems is Colton?    I do find it weird that Tami added being upset about not being able to give her daughter a sibling, isn’t Sophie’s son considered her sibling?  I thought all the children they had with Colton are all siblings. 

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16 hours ago, Leilani said:

 

I've reconsidered and it's better that Danielle and Garrick are divorced.  If they were still married, Garrick would take out life insurance on her and kill her and they'd end up being on Dateline.

I don't know  how a woman in her thirties can be so naive and gullible to fall for any of this instead of heading straight to the a divorce attorney and changing the locks the first time Garrick mentioned he wanted this.

Glad to see Kaleh escaped the King and Queen.

Why do the geeky family feel their life is not complete. What are they all looking for when they've settled for an expressionless man who sounds like a leprachaun? 

 

I think he has to have 3 wives to get his own planet in the after life.

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5 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Honestly, at this point I'm rooting for Bert and Dani to tell the Joel Osteen lookalike to fuck off and then ride off (on camels) into the sunset together. 

I wish, but it is more likely they will be a threesome.  I wish Danielle would grow a spine and kick him to the curb.  He probably could have found an American woman to join them, but he wanted a foreigner so he would need to  get a divorce.   He is despicable.

I need to  change my user name to: wtfiswrongwithmethatIwatchthesemorons

I am in the middle of reading the section by Christine Brown in the Sister Wives book, and I am shocked by how immersed she is into the plural life belief.  I don't agree with it at all, but after reading what she wrote, I will give the Winders a pass on  their lifestyle.   I don't particularly like Colton, but they are doing what they all were raised to do.

The Clarks can get off my screen.  I am pleased that Kaley or whatev the spelling is has escaped.  I am not sorry that Vanessa has lost her servant and nanny.  I had hoped they would continue to keep the kids off screen, but that seems to have ended.  I was hoping that without the second "wife" that their segment would end;  I see I am wrong. 

I continue to really dislike the Snowdens as well.  They said Chrystalline or whatev the spelling is is not living in the house with them.  So where is she staying with her children?  Also it is during the pandemic lockdown in California so can they even get together?

I guess the major story line this season is the Merryfields.  I wonder if that is even their real name.   I doubt they know any Portuguese, but I bet Roberta knows a lot more English than we are shown.  When Roberta was grabbing Garrett's/Garrick's knee it looked like he had a lypoma under his knee.  Clearly I have seen too many episodes of Dr Pimple Popper. 

I don't recall much going on with Keith Raniere and Tosha.  They can go away, too. 

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1 hour ago, LucyEth said:

I do find it weird that Tami added being upset about not being able to give her daughter a sibling, isn’t Sophie’s son considered her sibling?

I took Tami's statements on this to mean she does consider the new baby to be her daughter Sadie's sibling. Maybe I took it wrong, but I thought the gist of it was "I was wishing Sadie had a little brother or sister, and now she does."

 

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17 hours ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Garrick kills me....he loves the T and A. He doesn’t even know Roberta, they talk through an app like Karine and Paul and look how that turned out.

why did Dani even bother going on the trip? It is obvious this is a trip for Garrick to sex up his new girlfriend. 

So Garrick and Bert could rub her face in it. She has to learn to accept the new order, and the sooner, the better from Garrick and Bert's standpoint. 

16 hours ago, Leilani said:

How does Danielle not feel like a third wheel on this trip. 

Her being the third wheel was the whole point. She needs to get accustomed to knowing her husband is boinking his "hot" other wife next door. To help her cope with her "jealousy", which, as we all know, is the worst possible emotion for a woman with a drooling, sex obsessed husband to experience.

16 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

Dannielle pathetically begging GarrICK for sex, asking him if it's "her turn for a quickie", made me absolutely sick.

Girl - have some self-respect, for God's sake. 🤮

I was in full cringe on her behalf. Begging your husband's sloppy seconds is so demeaning. 

5 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Honestly, at this point I'm rooting for Bert and Dani to tell the Joel Osteen lookalike to fuck off and then ride off (on camels) into the sunset together. 

This is the fondest dream of my heart. I want Bert and Danielle to realize that they're in love and run off together. They can come to Massachusetts, get a cute little apartment in Northampton, and open a cupcake bakery.

I cheered aloud when I heard that Kayleh had flown the coop. That situation was wildly exploitative and unhealthy. Whats-his-face, the husband, is a teacher? Ahem. I'm guessing not for long. 

 

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2 hours ago, LucyEth said:

 I feel bad for Tami about the miscarriages but Sophie had trouble getting pregnant, maybe the problems is Colton?

Poor old Howdy Doody is probably all worn out, trying to service two women. No wonder he doesn't want a third brought into the mix.

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14 hours ago, Bad Example said:

Glad Kaleh cut ties and didn't look back.

Plus... that her soft-focus, somber-music picture retrospective was styled like she had died?  GOLD.   

And the way they showed Queen 1 washing dishes with a voice-over of her saying, "Of course I wish K would come back."  I ADORE those editors!

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1 hour ago, Twopper said:

  When Roberta was grabbing Garrett's/Garrick's knee it looked like he had a lypoma under his knee.  Clearly I have seen too many episodes of Dr Pimple Popper. 

Hah! I thought it was a bad calf implant! Too many re-runs of that one episode of MTV's Tru-Life: I'm a Plastic Surgery Addict w/the calf implant guy.

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On 5/1/2021 at 6:34 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Bachelorette #1 returns to the Snowden house and gets to meet bachelorette #2.  In these blissful early days, will they plan they post the aforementioned "D" schedule on the refrigerator next to the kids' drawings? 

Garrick's dick says a tearful goodbye to Roberta, whereas Dannnnnnielle is tearful because, with her extreme sadness over the situation and the terrible way GarrICK has treated her, tears are her constant companion. 

King and Queen Clark are back yet again to treat Kaleh like garbage.  PPAL not so secretly hopes their relationship is tested by Kaleh saying goodbye and never looking back. 

Original air date 2021.05.03

☠️ 

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Folks,

The no spoilers or comments about future events rule also means no hinting or suggesting that people read elsewhere.   Those who enjoy spoilers and future information are already reading the character and media threads.  Those that do not want future info do not need prompting to go look.  Posts have been hidden. Thanks!

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On 5/3/2021 at 8:25 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

Colton’s excited face looks as dour as his angry face. Any opinions on what his orgasm face looks like?

Where's the puke emoji. SO gross🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

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22 hours ago, suev3333 said:

Colton say....... . " It's what the Lord wants.  We must follow what God wants":

"God  is willing me to boff multiple women.  So I must listen to his word"

🙄🤮

It is really odd.  I have read the Bible multiple times and never once have I read anything anywhere that sanctions this as G-dly directives.

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TLC isn't even translating correctly. At the end when they transcribed Roberta as saying "missing me?", she actually used a word that has no meaning in English. It roughly means a yearning for a happiness that has passed, or perhaps never even existed.

So technically I guess it could be about him missing her, but not really.

/Portuguese translation

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The fundamentalist Mormon family Should all go to a fertility clinic.  They are all relatively young and seemingly healthy individuals and both of the two young women had a tough time getting pregnant by their male partner. I would definitely be looking at him and his sperm under a microscope and wondering whether adding another woman to the calendar would make all their chances of conception worse than ever.  At this point, they’re all way behind in their quest for the best spot in heaven that comes only with birthing babies.  Do you want 3 unhappy women clamoring for insemination on a daily basis?  

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I finally got to watch this last night.  The schadenfreude that I felt watching Garrick cry was wonderful.  He loves Roberta sooooooo much.  He cannot live without her.  After all, they chatted online and spent a week boffing. Ugh.  This guy.  There is so much to hate.  God did not command him to have sex with a woman to whom he is not married and cannot communicate effectively.  

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