S10.E06: Where Have You Been?

[druzy]

An explosive family brawl leaves Jade caught between Sean and her parents. DeVoin’s family reappears in Briana and Nova’s lives after being absent for years. Kailyn tries to connect with her sister.

Airs October 6, 2020

[snarts]

Jade needs to use that MTV money to move her & Kloie to another city, leaving Sean & her family behind. Don't even tell them where, just leave without a trace. 

[Mr. Miner]

I see Jenelle’s old producer got a new gig with the Jade trash bag family. 
 

Karl you’re ugly to the core, why would anyone want to have a relationship with you? Family or not?

[FlowerofCarnage]

Kail's sister didn't want to used for a storyline again. Can't say I blame her.

I am a sucker for Aubrey/Cole scenes. Don't judge me! Now, does  look like Chelsea has some self-awareness regarding how she was raised and is trying to change that with Aubrey? Chelsea just not buying a phone as Randy would have done and having Aubrey pay for it herself and be responsible for it. 

Briana, you picked Devlin to be the daddy when you got pregnant, you can't just decide he can't claim paternity.

Is there any adult in Jade's circle.thst isn't on drugs?

 

 

[Andyourlittledog2]

Brianna talks about how she wants Nova to know Devoin's family etc but she has that sourpuss face the whole time like she did when John wanted her to get to know his family in New York. She really doesn't have any use for the baby-daddy's families at all. Roxanne pushes the point but you can tell Brianna wishes they would really just fall off the Earth and leave her and the coven and may be the fathers the only people in her daughters lives.  She just ignores them mostly and makes them feel unwelcome. If I was Devoin's mother I'd get the message: tolerated but not welcome.

Oh Jade. When Christy came over and started with the 'we want to help you with Kloie sooooo should we just move in or....' you could see Jade just lose all hope of a happy home. It's so hard because a) they are her family and b) they are her support system, as effed up as that is.  She just looks trapped. And when she cried that Kloie deserved a better mother than she was I felt so sad for her. She has issues and is far from perfect but I believe she is trying.

Leah impressed as usual. I'm not an Addy fan though. She is just way too 7 going on 17 for me.  There's just something so bratty about her that I just dislike the little girl. I hate saying that but it's true.

Isaac and Lincoln have short hair but Lux still has all those long curls. Why the hell can't he have his first hair cut already? Is she waiting until he's ten and can save enough of his allowance to go get it cut himself?  I do understand why Kail is standoffish with her family members but she seems to create some of this drama and distance herself. For her the closeness is a one way street -- she doesn't honestly meet them halfway, she just closes it all down at the first opportunity. Her mom earned that attitude but I don't think her sister really did. They don't know each other well or grow up any where near each other so I don't think Kail should put so much of this on her sister. She can work a little harder to keep in touch too.

Chelsea: I still think she should have started with a more inexpensive flip phone while she's getting used to keeping track of it and not dropping it etc. Then move up to the smartphone later. I just see all that saved allowance going down the drain the first time Aubree leaves the phone someplace or drops it accidentally.  A lesson to be sure, but a hard one for a ten year old who could learn it just as well on a less expensive phone.

[eskimo]

I'm all for the all-in-or-all-out mindset when it comes to deadbeat moms/dads, and even grandparents, depending on the situation.   I don't know how she is now, but Suzi was not healthy enough to be around kids last Kail saw her, so I'd be hesitant to reconnect as well.  BUT!  When it comes to Kails half-sister, that she barely knows, I don't think it will impact the kids one little bit if they meet her only once or twice.  We all meet tons of people only once or twice in our lives and it's not a big deal if we don't get close to them all.  She could easily explain that some relationships are deeper than others, and they are very blessed to be close to their own half siblings.   She'd probably only have to explain it once, the kids would spend a few hours with one of hundreds of kids they will only play with a few times, and then have a hazy memory of it for the rest of their lives.  No big deal, no damage.  She was seriously overreacting about allowing her kids to meet her sister and sis's toddler.  Wound up being a non-issue anyway because sis cancelled. 

I have a similar relationship with my own half sister.  We're not close, weren't raised in the same house, and our kids have played several times at family gatherings.   We never see them anymore for various reasons, and neither my kids nor hers are traumatized by any of this.  Kail's the one building this into something.  Doesn't she have actual relationships that need tending to? 

Edited October 7, 2020 by eskimo
Typo

[Mkay]

I haven’t watched this episode. I watch it when it’s uploaded on Twitter the day after but I follow Kails sister on Instagram. She is always liking Kail’s pictures. Kail doesn’t do the same. Bitter Betty can’t keep friends or relatives. 

[Mkay]

1 hour ago, Andyourlittledog2 said:

Leah impressed as usual. I'm not an Addy fan though. She is just way too 7 going on 17 for me.  There's just something so bratty about her that I just dislike the little girl. I hate saying that but it's true.

Isaac and Lincoln have short hair but Lux still has all those long curls. Why the hell can't he have his first hair cut already? Is she waiting until he's ten and can save enough of his allowance to go get it cut himself?  I do understand why Kail is standoffish with her family members but she seems to create some of this drama and distance herself. For her the closeness is a one way street -- she doesn't honestly meet them halfway, she just closes it all down at the first opportunity. Her mom earned that attitude but I don't think her sister really did. They don't know each other well or grow up any where near each other so I don't think Kail should put so much of this on her sister. She can work a little harder to keep in touch too.

Chelsea: I still think she should have started with a more inexpensive flip phone while she's getting used to keeping track of it and not dropping it etc. Then move up to the smartphone later. I just see all that saved allowance going down the drain the first time Aubree leaves the phone someplace or drops it accidentally.  A lesson to be sure, but a hard one for a ten year old who could learn it just as well on a less expensive phone.

We did this with my daughter. She got an iPod first. When she did so well with keeping track of it she later got a phone. When the sales guy tried to sell me a phone fancier than mine I had to tell him that wouldn’t be happening. 😆

Addy gets on my nerves, too. Everyone else seems to love her.  😬 I felt alone on that. 

I don’t watch Jade or Brianna. 
Kail claims Lux will get a haircut when he asks. He asked for his hair dyed when his brothers had theirs done and she got the hair stylists to lie and say some BS so he couldn’t. (Like it wouldn’t be bright or something). She admitted that on Instagram. So she didn’t keep her word on his choice. She won’t when he wants it cut, either. 

[BrownBear2012]

Brianna says she wants Devoin's mother and father to be a part of Nova's life but I really don't think she does. Letting them in means Nova has other people to talk to, confide in and love....I don't think the Coven really wants to give up any control over Nova and allow Devoin's family to be active participants in her life. Devoin always looks high to me...he's just so lethargic. 

I like Addie...she has a joie d'vive about her. She has quite the personality...I don't see her as bratty but more as funny and playful. She's a character...for sure. Even her sisters find her comments funny and crack up laughing. She's the family comedian...every family has one. I'm sure she'll change when she hits puberty...they all do.

So ten year olds get iPhones now? Wow...and that wasn't a cheap one either. I get that kids feel peer pressure to have a cellphone but maybe start with their base phone and see how she does with it. That was a better phone than my husband's! I did like it when it came time to pay for it she plopped her baggy with money on the counter...that was pretty funny. I love Aubrey...she's grounded and seems very well rounded. She does look like Adam!

Kail is just a miserable, obese mess. This friend of hers, Mark, was her "friend" when she lived in Pennsylvania. Now he's driving up to Delaware to listen to Kail's whining about baby daddies                           , her "family" and her miserable life? MTV must be paying him to befriend her because I just don't see what anyone gets out of being a "friend" to her...she cares nothing about them and their problems. No wonder she cycles through friends so quickly. And BTW, her hair color is awful...it is not flattering. she needs to go back to being blonde.

Jade and family is the most dysfunctional family I've ever seen...I thought Jenelle's family was bad but this one is worse. Honestly, I don't know how she has escaped not being investigated by CPS. Drug addicted parents that float in and out of the house possibly using while watching Kloie, a baby daddy that is a deadbeat Dad and former (?) drug addict who also babysits Kloie and engages in verbal and physical fights with Jade's parents and with Jade. If ever there was a need for CPS to intervene it would be now. This is no way for a child to be raised...it is heartbreaking and really pisses me off that Jade puts her horrible parents ahead of her child. She needs to cut them off and kick them out. Put her daughter first and make a better life for her without being surrounded by chaos, drugs and acrimony. Same goes for her baby daddy...he doesn't work, has no money and may be still using...quit feeling like you have to be the savior of all these people. And also, quit using foul language in front of your child. Be the adult and clean up your life by sweeping these people out. They can see your little girl in public places...meet them at a park or playground. Don't let them back in. Move on and put Kloie first. Ugh...I can't believe she got kicked out of her salon space...her family's miserable behavior seems to be rubbing off on her.

 

[Mr. Miner]

34 minutes ago, BrownBear2012 said:

And BTW, her hair color is awful...it is not flattering. she needs to go back to being blonde.

She needs to go back to the rock from which she crawled from under.

[Andyourlittledog2]

3 hours ago, BrownBear2012 said:

I like Addie...she has a joie d'vive about her. She has quite the personality...I don't see her as bratty but more as funny and playful. She's a character...for sure. Even her sisters find her comments funny and crack up laughing. She's the family comedian...every family has one. I'm sure she'll change when she hits puberty...they all do.

That's fair. The people around her seem to like her well enough. But then they know her best and they love her too. It's just me over the airwaves that is put off by her antics I guess. 

[Snarky McSnarky]

Viewers this season:

806,000 1st episode.

693,000 2nd episode.

633,000 3rd episode.

707,000 4th episode.

682,000 5th episode.

730,000 This episode.

http://www.showbuzzdaily.com/articles/showbuzzdailys-top-150-tuesday-cable-originals-network-finals-10-6-2020.html

 

[monicageller]

All I could think of during Lincoln's cousin dialogue.

[MaggieG]

I felt bad for Jade this episode. I agree she needs to move away and not tell her parents or Sean where she's going. Or move to a place that's only big enough for her and Kloie so nobody can move in. The only peace and quiet she got was when everyone left and now of course, her parents are coming back. 

I don't understand Kail's issue with her sister. Growing up I had cousins in different states that I only saw once a year at most. Lots of us grow up like that. Her sister can't hang out once so Kail cuts her off completely? And I love the hypocrisy of her talking about consistency in the boy's life when two of her children have a father who is not consistent at all and only comes over for sex and to use the pool. 

At least Briana was nice when she greeted Devoin's parents. I don't know why but I root for Devoin to get it together and be a good dad. I loved him wrapping Nova's present and slapping that bow on top.  

[CaliforniaLove]

Why is this show still on? I pressed "play" on the DVR & all I can recall is Cole & Aubrey walking into a phone store which is something most people I know wouldn't post to social media, so why is it on a prime time show? 

And why the fuck are they making new "16 & Pregnant"????

[FozzyBear]

I feel like Brianna has entered Bitch Eating Crackers territory for me and I’m no longer able to tell if she’s terrible or if I just hate her. All that to say sometimes I think her bitching about how people haven’t seen her kids for so long is about how they haven’t done anything to help. Like I sort of feel like Brianna being upset that Nova hasn’t seen her grandma in so long is that the Grandma didn’t help Brianna with stuff when Nova was a baby. She didn’t help pay for things or help take care of her and Brianna (and her family) are mad about that. I guess I feel like Brianna uses her kids to get attention for herself, not always consciously, but she really seems to feel like people should “pay” her for access to her kids with gifts or babysitting or attention for Brianna. Is this just me? It might be just me?

[TheRealT]

On 10/7/2020 at 12:42 AM, Andyourlittledog2 said:

Isaac and Lincoln have short hair but Lux still has all those long curls. Why the hell can't he have his first hair cut already? Is she waiting until he's ten and can save enough of his allowance to go get it cut himself?  I do understand why Kail is standoffish with her family members but she seems to create some of this drama and distance herself. For her the closeness is a one way street -- she doesn't honestly meet them halfway, she just closes it all down at the first opportunity. Her mom earned that attitude but I don't think her sister really did. They don't know each other well or grow up any where near each other so I don't think Kail should put so much of this on her sister. She can work a little harder to keep in touch too.

Kail really doesn't get that she's the reason so many people have been in and out of her kids' lives. She's had a revolving door of friends who practically or literally lived at her house, taking care of her kids, whom she's subsequently cut out of her and the kids' lives. Her sister posted on SM that she had a serious injury from the dog bite, her mom had died shortly before, and she was generally having a rough time. I doubt that Kail even asked her how she was doing. Kail admitted that she hadn't talked to her since her mom's funeral. How is it "trying to build a relationship" with your sister if you don't even text her "Hey, how are you and the baby doing?" after her mother dies? Kail thinks a "good relationship" is the other party kissing her ass all the time.

3 hours ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Why is this show still on? I pressed "play" on the DVR & all I can recall is Cole & Aubrey walking into a phone store which is something most people I know wouldn't post to social media, so why is it on a prime time show? 

And why the fuck are they making new "16 & Pregnant"????

A thousand times this. I can't believe they made the riveting story of Aubree getting a cell phone into a two-episode arc. Chelsea's segments have devolved to "Look how cute my babies are!," "Should we get Aubree a cell phone?," and "Grandma Joan is scary!"

1 hour ago, FozzyBear said:

I feel like Brianna has entered Bitch Eating Crackers territory for me and I’m no longer able to tell if she’s terrible or if I just hate her. All that to say sometimes I think her bitching about how people haven’t seen her kids for so long is about how they haven’t done anything to help. Like I sort of feel like Brianna being upset that Nova hasn’t seen her grandma in so long is that the Grandma didn’t help Brianna with stuff when Nova was a baby. She didn’t help pay for things or help take care of her and Brianna (and her family) are mad about that. I guess I feel like Brianna uses her kids to get attention for herself, not always consciously, but she really seems to feel like people should “pay” her for access to her kids with gifts or babysitting or attention for Brianna. Is this just me? It might be just me?

I get what you mean. It seems that Devoin's mom got angry at Brianna/the Coven (you know they got involved) because they wouldn't let Devoin sign the birth certificate. But they still expected/hoped that Devoin's mom would buy things for Nova and come over to visit? That seems unrealistic. Obviously, if Devoin weren't so fucked up, he could have taken legal measures to get his name on Nova's birth certificate and get visitation/custody. But I feel like Brianna has taken advantage of his limitations in that regard, while simultaneously putting all the blame on him and his family for them not being more involved in Nova's life. She's way too petty and immature to have reached out to Devoin's parents to invite them to Nova's previous birthday parties, for example. If she really wanted Nova to have a relationship with them, she could have done things like that (and then been gracious if they showed up, rather than staring daggers at them from across the room and bitching about all they haven't done for Nova). But she's not really capable of that. And, legally, Devoin has no claim on or responsibility for Nova (unless they've changed that since she was born). So it would be very easy for him to have nothing to do with her. He sticks around because he truly cares about her.

[Mr. Miner]

Chelsea's first scene came on and she answered the phone "Hi Sweetie" in baby voice and I couldn't FF fast enough...disgusting!

[cheewhiz]

7 hours ago, MaggieG said:

At least Briana was nice when she greeted Devoin's parents. I don't know why but I root for Devoin to get it together and be a good dad. I loved him wrapping Nova's present and slapping that bow on top.  

100% agree with you on Devoin. I really am hoping he gets it together. Devoin's family seemed nice. I think Breanna has to just suck up the fact that his mom is a busy woman who works and sounds like she still has kids around to raise. Breanna just needs to lay off her and quit expecting her to drop everything and attend everything Breanna's wants (?) her to. Let me finish by saying, I have no kids, maybe I am way off base here.

.

On 10/7/2020 at 10:55 AM, BrownBear2012 said:

Ugh...I can't believe she got kicked out of her salon space...her family's miserable behavior seems to be rubbing off on her.

I missed this in the episode, what happened?

[ellenr33]

The look of defeat on Jade when her parents asked if they could stay there broke my heart. I think she generally tries to be a good mom but she's around such toxic people in her life. 

I root for Devoin also. When he is a shitty parent he's super shitty like when he got drunk at the pool when he was with Nova but I've also seen generally sweet moments with him and Nova. Stella has more of a connection with Devoin than she does with her real dad. 

Kail just pisses me off. How did she get such charming boys like Isaac and Lincoln? Can we just get rid of her and her baby daddies drama and just watch those two boys? I'm not really invested in seeing Lux or this new baby. 

[Soobs]

So, I have the same phone as a 10 year old. Cool cool.

Sad when Jade was saying she's worried she's not good enough for her kid. I remember hearing once that the five people you're the closest to have the biggest influence in your life, so choose wisely. Jade thinks she can stay above the fray and that she can pull them out but they could just as easily drag her and Khloie in with them.

I find Addie to be a typical youngest sibling, kind of extra and kind of a clown. She's probably the comic relief in their home.

 

Edited October 9, 2020 by Soobs

[BrownBear2012]

9 hours ago, cheewhiz said:

100% agree with you on Devoin. I really am hoping he gets it together. Devoin's family seemed nice. I think Breanna has to just suck up the fact that his mom is a busy woman who works and sounds like she still has kids around to raise. Breanna just needs to lay off her and quit expecting her to drop everything and attend everything Breanna's wants (?) her to. Let me finish by saying, I have no kids, maybe I am way off base here.

.

I missed this in the episode, what happened?

It happened after they stopped filming this season..I read about it online. She was coming in dressed in sweats and slippers with her hair in a messy bun and kept her space sloppy also. To top it off, the other stylists there were complaining about the trashy friends that would hang out there all day as did her druggy parents...cursing, smoking and verbal fights. The guy who rented the space to her evicted her. Also...she would make appointments with clients and not show up. If they tried to call her it would go to voice mail. AND...get this...her clients had to pay in advance! The going price for a "do" by her was $225.00!!! She's either doing drugs herself now or just decided to rip off people and take the money and run.

[Scarlett45]

On 10/8/2020 at 9:45 AM, FozzyBear said:

I feel like Brianna has entered Bitch Eating Crackers territory for me and I’m no longer able to tell if she’s terrible or if I just hate her. All that to say sometimes I think her bitching about how people haven’t seen her kids for so long is about how they haven’t done anything to help. Like I sort of feel like Brianna being upset that Nova hasn’t seen her grandma in so long is that the Grandma didn’t help Brianna with stuff when Nova was a baby. She didn’t help pay for things or help take care of her and Brianna (and her family) are mad about that. I guess I feel like Brianna uses her kids to get attention for herself, not always consciously, but she really seems to feel like people should “pay” her for access to her kids with gifts or babysitting or attention for Brianna. Is this just me? It might be just me?

Briana has her own issues, but plently of perfectly well adjusted mature adult women are upset when they have a baby and family members (on either side) are perfectly happy to assume the child doesn’t exists for YEARS, and only when the child is “interesting”- a walking talking independently thinking individual (who can entertain them) do they show any interest in being a part of the child’s life. 
 

Trust I get that emotion. But a mature adult usually bitches to their friends and puts aside their feelings for their child so the child can develop a relationship with the family members if they want to. 
 

My mom had a lot of similar feelings after my great aunt B (who was our nanny) died. My mother has no bio family (just me and my sister) and she absolutely believes my father’s family would just love to steal me away from her and leave her with the burden of my sister- who isn’t socially or emotionally useful. That’s hard for a parent. And my Mom isn’t wrong. The only family members that had any interest in my sister have been dead a long time now. She can’t even get an appropriate bday gift much less any human interaction from them. Nor can we get a break we don’t have to pay for. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

I watched a bunch of episodes in a row and I'm not sure which one this was in, but Leah started having sex when she was 13.  Holy cow.  The twins are 3/4 of their way to that age.

Did she really manage not to get pregnant all that time, until she was having revenge/rebound sex with Corey in his truck?

 

On 10/7/2020 at 10:55 AM, BrownBear2012 said:

Honestly, I don't know how she has escaped not being investigated by CPS. Drug addicted parents that float in and out of the house possibly using while watching Kloie, a baby daddy that is a deadbeat Dad and former (?) drug addict who also babysits Kloie and engages in verbal and physical fights with Jade's parents and with Jade. If ever there was a need for CPS to intervene it would be now. This is no way for a child to be raised...it is heartbreaking and really pisses me off that Jade puts her horrible parents ahead of her child.

I agree that it's no way for a child to be raised, but she appears to be fed and clean and healthy.  There's a lot of space between bad parenting and neglect that puts a child's life in danger (when CPS will intervene).

 

On 10/8/2020 at 6:37 AM, MaggieG said:

I don't know why but I root for Devoin to get it together and be a good dad. I loved him wrapping Nova's present and slapping that bow on top.  

I've always had a soft spot for him.  I think it's the underbite.

 

On 10/8/2020 at 11:15 PM, BrownBear2012 said:

It happened after they stopped filming this season..I read about it online. She was coming in dressed in sweats and slippers with her hair in a messy bun and kept her space sloppy also. To top it off, the other stylists there were complaining about the trashy friends that would hang out there all day as did her druggy parents...cursing, smoking and verbal fights. The guy who rented the space to her evicted her. Also...she would make appointments with clients and not show up. If they tried to call her it would go to voice mail. AND...get this...her clients had to pay in advance! The going price for a "do" by her was $225.00!!! She's either doing drugs herself now or just decided to rip off people and take the money and run.

Nah, it sounds like she's still on track to be a beauty salon mogul within a few years.

Edited October 13, 2020 by StatisticalOutlier

[Mkay]

I removed my post because I’m gonna need to do some research. Losing her virginity was discussed in Leah’s book.  

Edited October 13, 2020 by Mkay

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 minute ago, Mkay said:

In Leah’s book she claims they were partying at her house. Playing spin the bottle or something   Her mom made the bottle land on her (it’s been a long time since I’ve read it). Yes, Dawn was acting like a teenager. She picked some guy and there him and Leah in a room and told them they couldn’t come out until they had sex. I’ll see if I can find it. She was 13. 

That's when CPS should get involved.

[Mkay]

1 minute ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

That's when CPS should get involved.

Hang on though. I may be totally wrong. I’m skimming through the book now. 

[Mkay]

I removed my post until I reread the book because I could be totally wrong. 

[Mkay]

Ok, so this wasn’t her first time but this is one of the times. I got the two stories mixed up.  

[monicageller]

3 hours ago, Mkay said:

Ok, so this wasn’t her first time but this is one of the times. I got the two stories mixed up.  

WHAT THE FUCK and WHY IS DAWN NOT IN JAIL?!

[heatherchandler]

I have heard some fucked up shit, but that is beyond.  Jesus Christ!

[Mkay]

Sorry I took over the thread. But it kinda pertained to the episode. Also, this book made me despise Dawn even more. 

Edited October 14, 2020 by Mkay

[FairyDusted]

Holy crap! That's so wrong and screwed up. Fuck Dawn. What a sick thing to do to your child. 

[ava111]

Hope Leah never lets her mom do any babysitting.

[StatisticalOutlier]

One thing about it is that when Leah was talking to her friend about how she started having sex at 13 and had that in mind with respect to her 10-year-old daughters, she said the usual stuff about being open about sex with them, etc., and the friend was optimistic because, she said, they're not having the same kind of childhood Leah had.  People always say they don't want to make the same mistakes their parents made, and yet the cycles continue.  So no telling if her daughters will also get pregnant when they're teenagers, but I'm feeling pretty good about Leah at least not repeating that exact mistake with them.

 

[CaliforniaLove]

I read this Dawn bullshit before watching the episode, and while I again barely paid any attention, it was just so weird to see Leah all sitting on Dawn's lap, like "mom of the year".  I couldn't get it out of my head. I know Karl's mom was a POS, but was she ever actually an unpaid pimp to her daughter? 

[DangerousMinds]

3 hours ago, CaliforniaLove said:

I read this Dawn bullshit before watching the episode, and while I again barely paid any attention, it was just so weird to see Leah all sitting on Dawn's lap, like "mom of the year".  I couldn't get it out of my head. I know Karl's mom was a POS, but was she ever actually an unpaid pimp to her daughter? 

I don’t think ANY of the other girls’ moms acted like way. It’s egregious and disgusting.

[Tatum]

On 10/13/2020 at 4:28 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

I watched a bunch of episodes in a row and I'm not sure which one this was in, but Leah started having sex when she was 13.  Holy cow.  The twins are 3/4 of their way to that age.

Did she really manage not to get pregnant all that time, until she was having revenge/rebound sex with Corey in his truck?

 

Leah's mom had her on the depo shot for much of her adolescence. She didn't bother to get her next shot once the 90 days had elapsed back in early 2009 because she and Robbie were no longer together and she figured she didn't need it. Since she had only recently lapsed she assumed she would not be immediately fertile, which actually is true for some women (I have gone for months without ovulating after coming off birth control).

21 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

One thing about it is that when Leah was talking to her friend about how she started having sex at 13 and had that in mind with respect to her 10-year-old daughters, she said the usual stuff about being open about sex with them, etc., and the friend was optimistic because, she said, they're not having the same kind of childhood Leah had.  People always say they don't want to make the same mistakes their parents made, and yet the cycles continue.  So no telling if her daughters will also get pregnant when they're teenagers, but I'm feeling pretty good about Leah at least not repeating that exact mistake with them.

 

Leah mentioned offhand in one of the episodes that she might just put her daughters on birth control, at 13 or 14, regardless of whatever situation they may be in. While I think that is preferable to one of them getting pregnant at that age, I hope Leah's open policy about sex includes emphasizing that they do not have to have sex at that age just because it's the cool thing to do or their boyfriends expect it.

[Scarlett45]

Okay wait wait- WHO is Mike?????? I am so lost, I haven't seen the most recent episode yet.

 

36 minutes ago, Tatum said:

Leah mentioned offhand in one of the episodes that she might just put her daughters on birth control, at 13 or 14, regardless of whatever situation they may be in. While I think that is preferable to one of them getting pregnant at that age, I hope Leah's open policy about sex includes emphasizing that they do not have to have sex at that age just because it's the cool thing to do or their boyfriends expect it.

Im childfree, but I totally understand wanting to place your daughter on contraceptives in their teens- I would think 16 or 17, better safe than sorry. Once we have a long term contraceptive for men (they are developing a shot to block the sperm) I would do it for boys as well.

What breaks my heart is that Leah and so many so SOOOOO MANY young people (mostly girls) dont know how to say "No". That hurts me for young Leah. And again, what in the fuck was her mother doing??

[Tatum]

11 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Okay wait wait- WHO is Mike?????? I am so lost, I haven't seen the most recent episode yet.

 

Im childfree, but I totally understand wanting to place your daughter on contraceptives in their teens- I would think 16 or 17, better safe than sorry. 

What breaks my heart is that Leah (and so many so SOOOOO MANY) young people (mostly girls) dont know how to say "No". That hurts me for young Leah. And again, what in the fuck was her mother doing??

It is still not a very kind world for girls, I am afraid. Girls are socialized at a young age to put the needs of others first, even at their own personal cost or safety. But in my opinion, putting your 14 year old daughter on BC is treating the symptoms, not the problem. It may still be necessary, but hopefully it goes hand in hand with talks about your dominion over your own body, and the fact that no one else is owed to it.

[Scarlett45]

19 minutes ago, Tatum said:

It is still not a very kind world for girls, I am afraid. Girls are socialized at a young age to put the needs of others first, even at their own personal cost or safety. But in my opinion, putting your 14 year old daughter on BC is treating the symptoms, not the problem. It may still be necessary, but hopefully it goes hand in hand with talks about your dominion over your own body, and the fact that no one else is owed to it.

No you're right. I am thinking that contraceptives are there so that one can be free to explore one's need/desire for partnered sex and not fear an unwanted pregnancy. Im not thinking that the poor girl would be assaulted or coerced into something she doesn't want. Thats horrific, especially for someone so young.

And yes its tragic even though Leah wasn't assaulted (and doesn't feel as if she was raped etc), she still didnt feel she could say "No" because her OWN DAMN MOTHER told her to go in the room with him!  Normal interaction would've been had SHE wanted to kiss that boy and then decided "hey im not comfortable with this' and he (because he was raised to be respectful of other people) had said "okay" and that would've been the end of it. Or if she did want to try sexual activities and then decided she didn't want to any more- okay no harm no foul. 

Her own MOTHER? (yes I am still in shock about this)

[Tatum]

21 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

No you're right. I am thinking that contraceptives are there so that one can be free to explore one's need/desire for partnered sex and not fear an unwanted pregnancy. Im not thinking that the poor girl would be assaulted or coerced into something she doesn't want. Thats horrific, especially for someone so young.

 

Oh, no, that's not what I meant either.

 

I just meant that if my 16-17 year old daughter came to me and wanted to go on BC, I'd probably give her a brief lecture on continuing (or starting to) use condoms in addition to BC, and a brief lecture on making sure this was what she wanted, and that she wasn't being pressured. And then I would take her to a gyno and pay for her BC pills (or a different method).

 

If however, my 13-14 year old came to me, we would be having an entirely different discussion. It may still end with me taking her to the gyno, but only because I'm under no illusions that refusing to provide her with contraception means she won't have sex. It just wouldn't feel to me like my 13-14 year old was really emotionally ready for this, and I would be alarmed.

[Scarlett45]

2 minutes ago, Tatum said:

Oh, no, that's not what I meant either.

 

I just meant that if my 16-17 year old daughter came to me and wanted to go on BC, I'd probably give her a brief lecture on continuing (or starting to) use condoms in addition to BC, and a brief lecture on making sure this was what she wanted, and that she wasn't being pressured. And then I would take her to a gyno and pay for her BC pills (or a different method).

 

If however, my 13-14 year old came to me, we would be having an entirely different discussion. It may still end with me taking her to the gyno, but only because I'm under no illusions that refusing to provide her with contraception means she won't have sex. It just wouldn't feel to me like my 13-14 year old was really emotionally ready for this, and I would be alarmed.

Oh I see what you mean. 
 

We are in complete agreement!!

[lilmarysunshine]

On 10/14/2020 at 2:27 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

One thing about it is that when Leah was talking to her friend about how she started having sex at 13 and had that in mind with respect to her 10-year-old daughters, she said the usual stuff about being open about sex with them, etc., and the friend was optimistic because, she said, they're not having the same kind of childhood Leah had.  People always say they don't want to make the same mistakes their parents made, and yet the cycles continue.  So no telling if her daughters will also get pregnant when they're teenagers, but I'm feeling pretty good about Leah at least not repeating that exact mistake with them.

 

Maybe but I see Addy being a bigger issue than the twins. I see them letting her put make-up on and doing dance moves that seem inappropriate for a young girl. She has seemed DESPERATE at times, too, for Jeremy’s attention and seems too wrapped up in trying to make them a couple again.