MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation

[Snarklepuss]

It seems unlikely to me that the medical professionals Sean works with every day wouldn't have noticed that he has a mental illness, but people who see him on tv for 20 minutes a week are able to recognize it.

 

I think Sean has what can be more accurately called a character disorder, not a mental illness.  And no matter what the DSM says there is still disagreement amongst professionals over which disorders are accurately labeled as illnesses.  Also, the personalities people display at work are often a lot different than how they are in their off hours.  People can hide a lot of shit under a professional veneer.

[Snarklepuss]

Maybe he is trying to avoid conflict to look good on TV. He works in an ER for cripes sake. His reputation is essential in that field. Would you want your ER nurse to be known in a poor light from a reality tv show? I can't for the life of me understand why Davina is posting half the stuff she is on twitter. Did she retire recently or something? What doctor is gonna listen to a word she says when she's shown her inner crazy to everyone? I have no doubt she'll experience work related issues over this. Maybe she already has. Someone told her boy Chris to go silent and private real fast when the $#*! hit the fan last week.

 

If Sean was that concerned about his reputation at work he never would have signed on for a dumb ass reality show that could compromise his professional image in the first place.  I actually wonder if it hasn't gotten him into hot water with his superiors at the hospital.  Given the dim image that a lot of professional people might have of a reality show like this, the reasons for which are many, I question his judgment in signing on for it at all.  Sean has already shown his "inner crazy" to the public just by being on the show itself.  He is already "known in a poor light from a reality TV show".  So I'll throw that question back at you.  What doctor who heads up an ER of a major hospital is going to listen to a word he says now that he's shown such lack of judgment in his personal life?  Perhaps that's why people were posting as his coworkers to slam him and I found his LinkedIn page virtually erased.

Edited June 1, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[Wings]

Sean is arrogant and self aggrandizing thus his lying and embellishing.  I see nothing more.   His co workers have said as much.  

[John Mraz]

Personality disorders are considered mental illness. I am a psychiatric nurse and they are Axis II disorders in the DSM.

The DSM includes a wide range of psychiatric and psychological issues or conditions, not only those which can be considered "illnesses".  Axis I covers conditions that are conventionally considered "mental illnesses" for which drugs or intensive therapy are prescribed.  Axis II covers personality disorders and intellectual disabilities, and Axis III covers medical/physical disorders that result in altered psychological states.

 

Regardless, we have not had enough exposure to Sean to diagnose him with anything, but his actions and reaction are certainly abnormal, and he appears to use malingering to get his way.

[MissScarlett]

Davina posted this on her Instagram account yesterday:

 

https://instagram.com/p/3WJC34v0v3/

 

and then to back that up, this to her Twitter account:

 

Davina Kullar ‏@davinakullar  May 31
Yup...be a Doer, not a Sayer.  We all know the parable of the boy that cried wolf. #JustSaying…

 

It's obvious that they do not make it and it seems that Davina might agree with us about Sean being all talk and no action.

[Aethera]

I think I've said this before:  let's not get bogged down in what is or isn't a mental illness, and stop trying to diagnose Sean please. I agree that we definitely do not know enough to do so, so let's end that speculation.

 

Thanks!

[cardigirl]

baby chat forum

 

Sorry, this forum keeps getting referenced, but the real name and/or a link is never ever given.

Could someone share that link?

 

Thanks.

[ChristmasJones]

Sorry, this forum keeps getting referenced, but the real name and/or a link is never ever given.

Could someone share that link?

 

Thanks.

 

This link will take you to it- http://community.babycenter.com/post/a55825153/married_at_first_sight_season_two?cpg=188- that is the page I have bookmarked in the thread.... not the start of the thread.

 

I will say that there is a fairly long post by Dr C on the page after the one I linked telling them why he chooses to keep participating in their community 

Edited June 1, 2015 by ChristmasJones

[molshoop]

 

It's dehumanizing (used to describe all living things of the female sex), it reduces a woman to her genitalia (I'd like men to think that I'm more than just tits and a vagina), it's transphobic, it's not exactly used as a term of affection when used to refer to a woman, and the word "woman" exists. Respectfully, YMMV.

 

      woman (n.)

    "adult female human," late Old English wimman, wiman (plural wimmen), literally "woman-man," alteration of wifman (plural wifmen) "woman, female servant" (8c.), a compound of wif "woman" (see wife) + man "human being" (in Old English used in reference to both sexes; see man (n.)). Compare Dutch vrouwmens "wife," literally "woman-man."

 

  What I object to is being called Sweetie or Hon by strangers young enough to be my grandchildren.

[Waterlilly]

Me too!

[Aethera]

Yeah folks, we've sort of wandered off the topic a bit. I think we've said all we need to on woman vs. female :)

 

[Vicky8675309]

The DSM includes a wide range of psychiatric and psychological issues or conditions, not only those which can be considered "illnesses". Axis I covers conditions that are conventionally considered "mental illnesses" for which drugs or intensive therapy are prescribed. Axis II covers personality disorders and intellectual disabilities, and Axis III covers medical/physical disorders that result in altered psychological states.

Regardless, we have not had enough exposure to Sean to diagnose him with anything, but his actions and reaction are certainly abnormal, and he appears to use malingering to get his way.

Illness and disorder are often used as synonyms. The DSM covers a variety of disorders including mood disorders (like anxiety disorder), thought disorders (like schizophrenia), and personality disorders (like antisocial personality disorder). Personally, I consider "mental illness" a dated phrase. I do agree that we can not diagnose Sean--not enough data and the data that is presented is edited and not reliable.

[moonxyz]

It's official. 2 out 3 stayed together and Davina and Sean got divorced.

 

http://www.aetv.com/schedule: Go  on June 16th . The episode description tells you everything.

[Bella]

It's official. 2 out 3 stayed together and Davina and Sean got divorced.

 

http://www.aetv.com/schedule: Go  on June 16th . The episode description tells you everything.

 

Oh, joy. We'll have to make sure that doesn't carry over when we set up the episode thread.

 

Also, Jessica and RDouche stay together??? They must be getting paid to do so or want to be on Married at First Sight: the First Year. Or both.

[Liberty]

Thanks for the definitive update.

 

Now I ask, sarcastically and rhetorically, is there any reason ever watch A&E again in this lifetime?

[shopper73]

OMG, it is official! So much for first impressions!

[CindyBee]

I knew there was no way that Ryan & Jaclyn had split from their social media but am totally surprised that Jessica & Ryan stayed together.  

 

Will be interesting to see just how together both couples are at the six month reunion show, which I believed was filmed in early May as a saw a pic on twitter of Jaclyn, Ryan R, Davina & Jessica out in LA at People magazine office.  I was on vacation then and didn't have a chance to link;  I'll have to see if I can find a copy of it later today as Jaclyn is pressed up against Ryan like "he's mine".

 

As for Davina & Sean, best of luck to the two of them as they deal with the backlash.  Staying off social media might be a good thing for Davina and her friends but I have a feeling they'll be running their mouths more.

Edited June 2, 2015 by CindyBee

[SaucyMommy]

What am I missing? Cause I don't see anything on that link that says they divorced or who stayed together?

Found it never mind. Wow that's shocking to me actually.

Ok but seriously - thank you for finding this because now I don't have to watch this insufferable show anymore!  I can officially move on.

[Higgins]

Illness and disorder are often used as synonyms. The DSM covers a variety of disorders including mood disorders (like anxiety disorder), thought disorders (like schizophrenia), and personality disorders (like antisocial personality disorder). Personally, I consider "mental illness" a dated phrase. I do agree that we can not diagnose Sean--not enough data and the data that is presented is edited and not reliable.

There are many people hospitalized due to Axis II disorders. Of course, there are usually comorbidities like with most that have severe mental health struggles.

[crazychicken]

Well that was shocking not, hopefully Jess has ran by the 6 month reunion. Glad Jac & Ryan stayed married they are cute together. Now I do not need to catch up on the episodes I missed.

[CindyBee]

Well that was shocking not, hopefully Jess has ran by the 6 month reunion. Glad Jac & Ryan stayed married they are cute together. Now I do not need to catch up on the episodes I missed.

 

I reread the description and it sounds like they are implying that one of the couples, most probably Jess & Ryan, did not make it to the reunion still together.  Would account for Ryan D being missing from the pic in LA with Ryan R/Jac/Jessica/Davina if he and Jessica were no more.   Or maybe they are happily together, waiting for "Married at First sight, the first year" to start filming. 

[moonxyz]

The episode is labbelled "Reunion part 1". I wonder how many cliff hangers there will be, leading  up to "Reunion part 2"

[okerry]

Whether it was real, fake or some combination of the two, showing Ryan D treating Jessica so poorly but then romanticizing their staying together is really a very bad thing. This is exactly how abusers behave. They make the partner's life miserable, and when the abused partner has broken down enough the abuser knows he's "won" and apologizes, starts being nice, comes home with flowers, etc.

 

Until it all starts again.

 

This is not normal arguing that any couple might go through. What we saw with Ryan D and Jessica was a very clear-cut view of the cycle of abuse, whether A&E realizes it or not. I don't think they do, because it is highly irresponsible of them to romanticize and normalize it this way. The show was fun last year, but has really been boring and depressing and kind of sickening this time.

Edited June 2, 2015 by okerry

[Snarklepuss]

Well, this is no surprise to me, and I've already posted my opinion to the effect that Jess & Ryan D. would stay together.  And I still don't see Ryan D. as an abuser.  I think it's very easy to get the wrong impression from looking at 5 minutes out of a couple's relationship.  Words can be taken out of context and misinterpreted without the benefit of seeing the 99.9999% of the rest of their interactions to balance it out.  People say a lot of shit in the heat of an argument that they don't mean at all and later apologize for.  Just because we haven't seen that is no reason to assume it hasn't happened.  And New Yorkers are a tough bunch.  We talk straight, not nice you to death and screw you behind your back. 

 

We already have reason to believe that Davina has been portrayed as more of a diva than she really is, judging from her tweets where she wishes that some of her non-selfish activities had been featured on the show.  These shows try to get the audience as riled up as possible to keep them hooked on the show.  They WANT us to get the wrong impression.  Plus, relationships change and evolve as do the people in them.  These people were complete strangers when they met.  They probably needed some time to learn to understand each other.  They didn't have the benefit of dating in order to learn to understand each other FIRST before getting married, so their issues were intensified to a degree not normally found in relationships.  I am happy to hear this news and wish them all the best.  I don't doubt they still have communication issues to work out, but Rome wasn't built in a day.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[CindyBee]

Ok here's the link to a pic taken by a People Magazine reporter back on May 7th of Jaclyn, Ryan R, Davina and Jessica:

 

https://twitter.com/chiumelo/status/596532680256139264

 

My guess it was taken at the time of the 6 month reunion taping out in LA.

[moonxyz]

^^^Yup. They all flew out to LA at that time. Oddly enough, Sean and Douche flew in together....

 

I don't trust Ryan D. something tells me his was playing nice so he wouldn't get dumped or "fail" the experiment. I don't think they were still married at the 6 month reunion.

 

No way Davina and Sean will mend anything.

 

Basement and Jaclyn are the worst match on paper and are pretty terrible in  action. I don't see them staying together longterm but will still be married et the reunion. 

[Lovecat]

They really need to integrate some color into their wardrobes.

[Snarklepuss]

I'm not prepared to definitively state that Ryan is or is not an abuser, but it is pretty clear to me that he has anger issues and that being with someone like Jess who doesn't communicate doesn't seem like a good idea.

 

I think they could go either way in the 6 months following the show.  I'm just glad they gave it a shot win or lose.  I don't think Jessica would stick around after 6 months if she didn't think things had improved.  I have faith in her to make the right decision.  She is NOT a victim, IMHO.  I think she is capable of taking care of herself.

[seasick]

Whether it was real, fake or some combination of the two, showing Ryan D treating Jessica so poorly but then romanticizing their staying together is really a very bad thing. This is exactly how abusers behave. They make the partner's life miserable, and when the abused partner has broken down enough the abuser knows he's "won" and apologizes, starts being nice, comes home with flowers, etc.

 

Until it all starts again.

 

This is not normal arguing that any couple might go through. What we saw with Ryan D and Jessica was a very clear-cut view of the cycle of abuse, whether A&E realizes it or not. I don't think they do, because it is highly irresponsible of them to romanticize and normalize it this way. The show was fun last year, but has really been boring and depressing and kind of sickening this time.

I can see that cycle.   

I also think his behavior reminds me of alcoholic/addict behavior... That 'over the top' reaction and anger is the excuse and reason to go do what it is you want to do..... ( "Don't follow me bro... I'm serious" .)

 

I don't know,  I'm  just saying.  He's really wound up pretty tight most of the time.

[Kareem]

I hope Sean gives his monotonous speech first.

Edited June 2, 2015 by Kareem

[Lion18]

I checked A&e they must have taken the description off. It's not there. Wish I saw it. I know Jess and Ryan are definitely together now that everyone knows I can say it.

[Lion18]

My source isn't sure if Jess and Ryan are still together. But they do say Yes on decision day. I will post if I find out more

[moonxyz]

The social media drama and spoilers are much more entertaining than the show itself. From what I've read the past few days, I deduce that Douche and Jessica are no together anymore and oh boy did she dodge a bullet!

[Happenings12]

If you want to think all his "compromise" was more than just going through the motions to look good on TV, go right ahead, but I don't think it had anything to do with wanting the relationship.  It was all about how he looked to the public.  This way people could never say he didn't try.  No bad scenes, just BS to get him through.  No one could call him an abuser, etc.  He's pretty clever to hide his dark side like that.  Meanwhile I think the truth was that he never wanted any relationship with anyone.  I think he's hiding behind the cover of the promotion and the distance to make him look legitimate and in a way to blame Davina for the failure of their relationship.  I could see another man wanting to make it work with Davina, but there's no woman who I think could make it work with Sean, no matter where she wanted to live.

 

 

But that's just your feelings on the matter....your opinion. I'm talking cold hard facts. We don't know what was in his heart when he compromised, BUT HE DID IT. SHE REFUSED. I'm taking all the emotion and opinion out of it and just looking at the facts as we know them because at the end of the day that is the only truth we really know. He tried, admitted his faults and she refused to do either everytime. Then she goes on a tirade on twitter blaming him for everything and taking no blame herself. Those are the facts that we've seen. Granted they were edited and pieced together on the show but they can't make a person look like a "villain" if said person doesn't give them ample footage to do so.

 

I am actually happy that Davina probably saw through him to some degree all through the experiment and held part of herself back as a result.  If she didn't sense this she probably would have put more of herself out there and made more compromises, IMO.  It's easy to blame her but I give her credit for not falling in love with a jerk and making life changes when she suspected he had no intentions of following through on what he was doing.  It was even obvious to me that he was just going through the motions, so I like to think that part of her wasn't fooled and was waiting to see if he meant what he was doing.  I think by the end she really knew deep down that he was not for real at all.  As for the promotion, there are several reasons to suspect that he ever was promoted and that Dr. C. was only taking him at his word.  Like why is his LinkedIn page completely erased?  And why are there people who supposedly know him calling him a liar?   This is not happening with the other people on the show.  Even if he was telling the truth, to hold that important fact that was 2 years in the making back until the very end?  I don't buy the timing whatsoever.  It was a convenient excuse.  I don't think the excuse was Davina's fault.  He could have used that excuse from Day one but didn't just so he could be on TV and look like he did everything he was supposed to do.  This guy is not a man, IMO.  If it's that Davina is not for him why hide behind the promotion?  This guy is not being honest nor open about himself, that's for sure.  And for that reason, I suspect anything he says or does.

 

She wanted him to do all the compromising while she did none on day 1. She had no clue if she'd love him then. Yeah, I know he said he was open to moving but a 4+ hour commute when he effects people's lives is a totally different ball game. Maybe he picked up on her refusal to budge on all things and then started going through the motions from there. BTW she could have clued him in to the fact she bought an apartment right before filming started that would tie them in as a couple to the UES but she didn't until after he said I do, and they had their honey moon. Did she plan on having that in her back pocket to use as an excuse if things failed? We'll never know. We do know that the UES was more important to her than her husband. She wouldn't even entertain the idea of moving. That never works in a marriage. If you aren't willing to go 50/50 on all things you're just asking for trouble. And she found it. Her friends joking about how she rarely gets 2nd dates in the opener was telling.

 

Also, a blank LinkedIn page means squat. My friend's bro-in-law is a lawyer. The guy practically catalogued his rise from graduating high school to college, then law school on facebook but the second he got a good job he never updated his online profiles again. That doesn't make him a fake, he just has other more important uses of his time.

 

As for the people who know him talking trash:

A: I'd bet anything it's just one person probably with a grudge against the guy (Promotion rival?).

B: Not once has any of these "people" proven their claims which in this digital age would be easy as pie to do.

 

If you knew someone well enough to know all their faults to a T then you should have no trouble proving you know them. It's common sense. I could make 10 different profiles claiming I knew Ryan D and that he was a spouse beater, but that doesn't automatically make it true and should be taken with a huge grain of salt by all who read it. Why are you so sure these people are telling the truth when they never backed it up with any kind of facts? Why are so many willing to jump off the deep end into conspiracy land based on smoke and mirrors? Hell, maybe you're right about him but there is no real proof other than hunches. I'll stick to the facts we can ALL see and hear ourselves.

Edited June 3, 2015 by Happenings12

[Lion18]

Jess and Ryan had a lot of problems and are currently not living together

[Bella]

Thanks for the inside info, Lion18.

[I-Kare]

Yes, thanks Lion18! Not surprising. My take on it is they had to have two "successful" couples or the show would be over. I'm thinking Jessica and Ryan would be easier to convince to stick it out for the show over Davina and Sean. 

 

Davina and Sean seem to have a dislike going, while Jessica and Ryan seem to be just going through the motions at this point.

[Snarklepuss]

Also, a blank LinkedIn page means squat. My friend's bro-in-law is a lawyer. The guy practically catalogued his rise from graduating high school to college, then law school on facebook but the second he got a good job he never updated his online profiles again. That doesn't make him a fake, he just has other more important uses of his time.

 

As for the people who know him talking trash:

A: I'd bet anything it's just one person probably with a grudge against the guy (Promotion rival?).

B: Not once has any of these "people" proven their claims which in this digital age would be easy as pie to do.

 

I've posted the link to the LinkedIn page in the Social Media thread.  It's not just blank, it looks like it was erased.  There's something very strange about it.  I've never seen a LinkedIn page that looked like this before:

 

https://www.linkedin.com/pub/sean-varricchio/82/b33/2

 

Also, to quote a very old expression, "Where there's smoke there's fire".  Not that I would want to blame someone who was legitimately being trashed or bullied by imposters, but why would they zero in on him and no one else on this show?  And people with grudges might also have legitimate reasons for those grudges.  Sean doesn't seem to know how to keep people from hating him.  Now we can add Davina to that list.  Sounds like it might be a pattern.

Edited June 3, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[rulesoftravel]

Speaking of Linkedin:

https://www.linkedin.com/pub/davina-kullar-ma/1b/b68/715?trk=pub-pbmap

 

 

 

Davina does have a pretty big job and seems to be moving up in her field.    It's a shame that the apartment she just purchased was part of her non-move deal, because I think , if it had not been, she might have agreed to move somewhere closer to New Jersey.    

And if Sean was just dropping the promotion info on her, that was a horrible thing to do.

Edited June 3, 2015 by rulesoftravel

[CindyBee]

Yes, thanks Lion18! Not surprising. My take on it is they had to have two "successful" couples or the show would be over. I'm thinking Jessica and Ryan would be easier to convince to stick it out for the show over Davina and Sean. 

 

Davina and Sean seem to have a dislike going, while Jessica and Ryan seem to be just going through the motions at this point.

 

 

I agree, it was much easier for TPTB to get Jessica & Ryan to flip over to saying "yes" than it would ever be for Davina/Sean.    I guess we'll see in part 1 on June 16th the first part of their interview and the cliff hanger will be "are they together or not" and then part 2 on June 23rd will show them kaput and A&E/FYI will trot out the only surviving couple, Jaclyn & Ryan as the "happy" ending.

 

No way can Jaclyn & Ryan carry a full season of "first year" by themselves so I guess that show isn't coming back so look for Season 3 to come on sooner than later.  I think.

[rulesoftravel]

A woman on fb who says she knows Jessica (who knows?) says that Jess and Ryan are not married.  Who knows?  I hope the cat is ok.

Edited June 3, 2015 by rulesoftravel

[moonxyz]

Lion8, they have been going at each other on Social media for the past week, making swipes at each other, Ryan's friends calling Jessica names , etc. Dr C says they refused counselling.

 

Someone on another board said that there was major drama on set, Ryan throwing plates, tons of blow ups, etc. Don't know how true this is. The same source also stated that Sean had several panic attacks and only showed up for filming days. 

[Stinamaia]

Sean has panic attacks and still functions as an ER nurse? I'm skeptical. It sounds like an excuse. Anyway, poor Davina. Even if it's true, she got saddled with a real loser. I'm sure she saw through his b.s. in a week at the most.

[Lion18]

I didn't notice anything on Twitter between Jess and Ryan lately. I was just told that they were living in Staten Island but then there were lots of problems. They are not living together now. My source was not sure if they were divorced. It's really sad. But I hope Jess stays away for good. How did Ryan slip pass the experts? Scary

[SaucyMommy]

I have a feeling all this crap was an act for Ryan D so he didn't come off as a complete douche and Jess seems like she will take whatever she can get. I can't believe they cast him with that temper. Wonder how long ago they split up.

[moonxyz]

^^^He realised how much of an ass he came across and tried to repair the damage. His romantic bullshit stunts are so fake. I really hope they divorced. Jessica needs a year of therapy. Ryan needs 5 years of therapy and ditch hus friends but that ain't happening. 

Edited June 3, 2015 by moonxyz

[SaucyMommy]

Yeah for a guy that seems to want to be like such a good man - he should know complimenting a woman and telling them you like them are important things. Apparently - he just told Jess at week 5.5 that she's growing on him. How romantical

[seasick]

Wait!  I figured out the Ryan D and Jess deal!  Ryan --at least--and probably Jess too-- decided there is some $$ to be made by staying together with the follow up year  I believe that is 100% why Ryan is being decent.

I love how "what Ryan learned" from this experience was how to cope with Jessica's  shortcomings. . Yeah buddy, that was the problem.  Nuthin' you did.... 

[Snarklepuss]

I can believe that Ryan and Jessica chose to stay together past 6 weeks to stick out the "experiment" for the TV exposure, but whether their relationship has any hope for the long haul is still doubtful.  Not sure whether to believe all the rumors either, but just from what has been aired it doesn't look too promising for them to make the 6 month mark.  And I agree, the way Ryan acted after 5 weeks was less than romantic and seemed done purely for appearances.

[seasick]

I think the rumor that they don't make it to the 6 month mark is true.  Which I think illustrates my idea that a few weeks ago Ryan decided to make this an acting job instead of a relationship for the purpose of $$ for follow-up episodes or season ("The First Year")    

 

However even with that$$ in mind he could not act decent and human enough over time to pull it off.  I'm not sure Jess was in on this idea but may have suspected that that is what was behind this amazing turnaround and just went with it.  I'm not sure why Ryan did this experiment but I think Jess's motives were for love despite reports that she had modeling/acting in her past.  I think there has to be some 'showboat' quality to put yourself 'out there' but it doesn't automatically (IMO)  mean you're not in it for real.

.