S11.E06: I See Red Flags

[Yeah No]

8 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

There are those, however, that clinical depression is a pretty serious condition though.  I have a friend in his 30s who recently posted some on FB that none of his friends understand his depression.  I messaged him privately and he told me that he's suffered from depression and anxiety all of his life and that nothing is working -- not his meds, not his therapy.  All I can do is be an ear for him and hope that something helps him soon.  

I can understand why someone would need more information, but Karen didn't ask questions, didn't seem to want to delve deeper.  She was just instantly turned off.  She should've asked how he controls his depression, especially in the dark periods.  Instead, she thought it wasn't masculine.  That's dumb.    

Yes, me too, I have known several people with clinical depression (including myself about 20 years ago).  No two people with depression are alike.  Some struggle with finding the right medication and don't cope so well, while others find the perfect one and you'd never know they were ever depressed.   Some respond to a combination of therapy and meds. and overcome their depression never to have it return.  Others have recurring bouts all through their lives.  Some have a mild case of chronic depression and are easily treated.  Others have more severe cases that resist all meds.  My own best friend is bipolar - without her meds. she is literally a basket case and needs to be hospitalized.  The only problem is that she is unable to take most meds. because of bad side effects and has to take one that is outdated and is threatening to ruin her health.  Now that she is in her 60s she is constantly under supervision by doctors because the dose she needs can literally kill her if the levels of certain substances in her body get too high.  A few years ago she ended up in the hospital with toxic amounts of a certain chemical in her system.  So this is no joke.  We just hope and pray that Miles is in the category of someone that is more successful at managing his condition.  I agree with you about Karen being instantly turned off by this, but I do think it might have been just a hair too soon for him to share that - I blame the producers for that.  It's just the kind of "provocative" bomb-drop they're famous for instigating at the wrong place, wrong time, in the name of "drama".

[Boo Boo]

10 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Yes, me too, I have known several people with clinical depression (including myself about 20 years ago).  No two people with depression are alike.  Some struggle with finding the right medication and don't cope so well, while others find the perfect one and you'd never know they were ever depressed.   Some respond to a combination of therapy and meds. and overcome their depression never to have it return.  Others have recurring bouts all through their lives.  Some have a mild case of chronic depression and are easily treated.  Others have more severe cases that resist all meds.  My own best friend is bipolar - without her meds. she is literally a basket case and needs to be hospitalized.  The only problem is that she is unable to take most meds. because of bad side effects and has to take one that is outdated and is threatening to ruin her health.  Now that she is in her 60s she is constantly under supervision by doctors because the dose she needs can literally kill her if the levels of certain substances in her body get too high.  A few years ago she ended up in the hospital with toxic amounts of a certain chemical in her system.  So this is no joke.  We just hope and pray that Miles is in the category of someone that is more successful at managing his condition.  I agree with you about Karen being instantly turned off by this, but I do think it might have been just a hair too soon for him to share that - I blame the producers for that.  It's just the kind of "provocative" bomb-drop they're famous for instigating at the wrong place, wrong time, in the name of "drama".

How awful for your best friend.  

My daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy and they have her on lamotrignine.  I was actually happy to hear that the meds are also used to treat bipolar.  She has never been diagnosed with bipolar but she does have anxiety issues so she feels like that is helping her with those!

[Yeah No]

16 hours ago, JapMo said:

I still stand by my opinion that a woman age 30 knows if she wants kids or not.  Probably most women know by the time they are 18.  Not if they will, but do they want to.  That's all I'm saying.  You can be unsure about when or where (but not how, hopefully).  You can have family pressures, worry you are too old to be running after children, worry that you can even afford them, be scared of the actual physical side of bearing a child, etc etc etc.  BUT....deep down, if all situations were perfect, could you see yourself having children?  And I maintain women know the answer to that question way before age 30.  Beth's flipflopping convinces me she's never actually been vehemently opposed to having kids. 

I didn't know if I wanted kids yet at the age of 30.  I left myself open to it if for some reason I had the urge in the future, but I literally was not leaning one way or the other.  I had no pressure from hubbie or family, which was good, so the uncertainty was pretty much internal.  I realized after I turned 35 that I probably would never want kids.  But I never really shut the door on that until nature did.  So I can understand where Olivia is coming from.  Also, this was not me, but I know that a lot of women feel pressured to have kids by family, husband, society, whatever, so they "say" they want kids or say they aren't certain that they want kids just to satisfy everyone else and get them off their backs.  I wonder if Olivia is like that.

[Yeah No]

20 hours ago, pdlinda said:

I just recalled another big RED FLAG with Olivia that  addresses your point about getting marriage and divorce over with so she can live her ideal life with no unanswered questions:  She doesn't want to have children and started squirming around for "conditional" language when the subject was brought up with Brett.

Yes, see above, I think this may be the case with her!

[configdotsys]

On 8/21/2020 at 9:48 AM, Boo Boo said:

Yeah I think that's what is bugging me about her.  She talks about having fun, but she seems so wet blanket.  Even the monkey bar show of force didn't seem fun.  

She strikes me as the type who gets to call the shots as to what they do is and whether it's fun or not. 

22 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Thank you for this. Some of the comments here make me so sad - it shows that there is still a stigma to people with mental health issues. I get that these participants didn't choose their partners and so had no say in whether they want to deal with someone (like the diabetes with Katie last season) with health issues, but this is something that can be controlled. And I would rather be with a nice guy that is dealing with depression than a total asshole such as a Matt, Luke or Zach. Now there is something that has no treatment........

I thought the majority of comments were being directed at the fact that Miles told her on the honeymoon and that it may not have been the most opportune time to drop something like that on his new spouse. 

22 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I'm confused, or maybe dense.  Is thinking highly of oneself being full of themselves?  

Maybe if Karen had been full of herself more, she wouldn't have dated a scrub who had a baby with another woman while he was with her.

Thinking highly of oneself is perfectly fine, being full of yourself and broadcasting that to others is not. Olivia  can like the finer things but if you have to state that while putting down others as if they are somehow beneath you because your preferences and priorities are "better" well then you are a totally self absorbed bitch. 

20 hours ago, pdlinda said:

Sounds like a husband would be an "annoyance" to Olivia and little more.

It sounded to me that all the interrogation with Brett about activities she wanted to hear him articulate that they could do together was just to put him "on the spot" and pressure him to answer her the exact way she desired.  It had nothing to do with the content of whatever he would say because whatever his answer would have been, to Olivia, I believe, it would have been insufficient, inadequate and/or otherwise WRONG!

That word came to my mind too: annoyance. I can see her wanting someone to bring to events to show that she has scored a steady mate but then wanting just as much to shoo him away when she's not in the mood to deal with him. I have yet to see any true smile or laughter from her, like we have from most of the others. 

20 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

I wonder if Olivia feels pressure to get married? So she did this?  Now she can say she got married, got divorced. Now she can live her busy life, expensive wine & travel life!

And there's nothing wrong with that at all if that's what she wants to do!

 

I think she might be a like a couple of women that I know: professional, have many friends, hobbies, activities, etc. and are perfectly happy but something inside of them says that they will never be fully accepted in some way by colleagues, peers, etc. if they do not have a significant other. So they pursue relationships that they are not really into. I can't understand that thinking but the way Olivia acts seems she may be in the same boat.

Although, wasn't Olivia the one who said she would cry if someone brought her flowers? If that was her, maybe she just never learned to play or flirt or be soft and let loose so she comes across as rigid and not fun. It's like she craves that sort of romantic attention but is not equipped to deal with it and respond in kind. Someone above said "clinical." I think that's accurate. She strikes me as someone who would be something of a dictator in the relationship: making sure her SO was wearing something she approved of, etc. 

Maybe it's better that she wasn't matched with Henry...

[Boo Boo]

1 minute ago, configdotsys said:

She strikes me as the type who gets to call the shots as to what they do is and whether it's fun or not. 

I thought the majority of comments were being directed at the fact that Miles told her on the honeymoon and that it may not have been the most opportune time to drop something like that on his new spouse. 

Thinking highly of oneself is perfectly fine, being full of yourself and broadcasting that to others is not. Olivia  can like the finer things but if you have to state that while putting down others as if they are somehow beneath you because your preferences and priorities are "better" well then you are a totally self absorbed bitch. 

That word came to my mind too: annoyance. I can see her wanting someone to bring to events to show that she has scored a steady mate but then wanting just as much to shoo him away when she's not in the mood to deal with him. I have yet to see any true smile or laughter from her, like we have from most of the others. 

I think she might be a like a couple of women that I know: professional, have many friends, hobbies, activities, etc. and are perfectly happy but something inside of them says that they will never be fully accepted in some way by colleagues, peers, etc. if they do not have a significant other. So they pursue relationships that they are not really into. I can't understand that thinking but the way Olivia acts seems she may be in the same boat.

Although, wasn't Olivia the one who said she would cry if someone brought her flowers? If that was her, maybe she just never learned to play or flirt or be soft and let loose so she comes across as rigid and not fun. It's like she craves that sort of romantic attention but is not equipped to deal with it and respond in kind. Someone above said "clinical." I think that's accurate. She strikes me as someone who would be something of a dictator in the relationship: making sure her SO was wearing something she approved of, etc. 

Maybe it's better that she wasn't matched with Henry...

It's actually ChristinA that never had flowers!  

But I agree with everything else!

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

My point is that a person should know what they are getting into before marriage.  I didn't feel it was fair to Derek to be matched with Katie, a diabetic, no matter how well under control. Things can happen. I got a lot of flak for saying it and also now for saying essentially the same about Miles's depression. I think he's a sweetheart and will make someone a fine husband. But to be matched with a person on MAFS who has had no say about this? Nope. Wrong, imo. I'm sorry if folks here are offended, but  I stand by my comments.

Yes, that was my point too, which unfortunately didn't get across.  If they're going to match people sight unseen, they need to factor out some really serious issues that they'd be signing the person on to deal with for the rest of their lives.  Sure, people have other issues that can become a challenge, or develop an illness later in the marriage, but to match them right off the bat before they even meet each other is a recipe for failure.  These people have enough hurdles to scale with each other let alone have to factor in the super-serious stuff.  Usually by the time people are ready to get married, they've decided that the other person's serious issues are par for the course and they love them enough to live with them.  But a big issue like this can actually sabotage love from ever forming if it feels like too much of a burden too soon.  That was all I was trying to say. 

Who on earth would say OK to dealing with a potentially big issue with another person for the rest of their lives after just meeting them?  You don't even know yet if you will love them.  That's why the show is supposedly selecting the "best matches" for these people.  I'm not saying that people with conditions don't deserve love, it's just that the people being matched with them deserve to be informed about potential issues they might be signing on to deal with.  Otherwise it can feel like too much too soon.  I can see how meeting someone and dating them wouldn't be too much too soon if on the second date you find out about their depression.  You would say, "OK, I  like them so far, so I'll see how I feel about this as time goes on - I can still back out if necessary".  Then if they have it under control, you fall in love and then you decide you can live with it.  But the added pressure of not knowing that after you're unable to back out is the big problem here.  Your fear will tend to make you worry that the worst is going to come true, which makes falling in love harder.

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

I don't know that Karen thinks being depressed in and of itself is a strike against his masculinity.  She may think the way he acts about it is not "masculine" enough for her.  She probably thinks he should suck it up and not show his emotional vulnerabilities, which is stupid, because it's more healthy to be open about that than to hold it inside. 

What I wonder is what she saw on the internet before they got married.  Personally, I'd be fine with an emotional guy, but not an emotional guy who broadcasts it all over the internet.  We know she had an unfavorable reaction to it, but I don't think it's clear exactly what it is she found repellent.

 

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I'm not offended but I do disagree. I have chronic depression that is well managed. It's in no way as serious a condition as Type I diabetes (which Katie had) or Parkinson's. I'd put it on par with seasonal allergies or perhaps borderline high cholesterol (with which I also am blessed). Nothing about Miles to date, suggests that he has a particularly severe or unmanaged case of depression. He takes a pill once a day and to do that, he sees a doctor periodically. That's it. 

I'm not so sure, because he was warning her about "moods" or something along those lines.  So it does sound like it affects his behavior in a way that she's going to have to learn how to deal with.

 

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Ridiculous, especially because my own mother was very progressive about women's independence.  She owned and drove her own car in the 1940s and we were a two car family when I was a kid in the '60s and '70s.  That all by itself says volumes. 

Just because there are probably people around here who think the '60s and '70s are ancient history, I'll point out that a two-car family then was not particularly unusual. 

[cinsays]

18 hours ago, Bubbacat said:

Just have to chime in on Karen and Miles. I do see how clinical depression might be a deal breaker, especially in the whole MAFS situation. However, I was with my SO/partner/boyfriend for several years. He told me on our first date that he was bipolar. (We had met online and chatted for a few weeks before we met in person.) He told me because he wanted me to know up front and give me the opportunity to nope out if I wanted to. Fortunately, I stuck around. Otherwise, I would have missed out on the best and strongest relationship of my life with a wonderful man. Sure, there were times when things got tough -- when he was depressed and wanted to hibernate or when he got manic and kind of "nuts." But he was extremely diligent about taking his medication and going to his doctor appointments, and the vast majority of the time, he was fabulous. I stuck around even through the hard times because he was just the best. And he was honest with me from the very beginning. He passed away very suddenly not quite two years ago (completely unrelated to his being bipolar), and I still miss him each and every day.

All of that is to say that I'm totally pulling for Miles! But I do understand why anyone wouldn't want to deal with a partner with mental illness if they're just getting to know them and that's not what they signed up for.

(And now, off my soapbox.)

Sorry for your loss.  I too lost my husband about 2 years ago and miss him terrible.

He was diagnosed with diabetes a year after we married and also was bipolar but he was an incredible person and neither condition prevented him from being a loving and "normal" partner.

 

[Kira53]

FYI.  Moods are feelings not behaviors.  We will have to wait to hear what behaviors are associated with his moods.  Many people have moods that you would never guess from their behaviors.  Miles hasn't been shown with anything that we would have guess that he had depression. 

The bigger problem is that Karen was not interested in him from the get-go, so I think him disclosing his depression prematurely dooms this relationship because the only way it was going to work was that she would stay open to his personality and his behavior toward her.  She was repelled by his expression of emotion in his social media already before they met at the altar. I don't think that she would want a man expressing emotions and so any emotions that she would hear from him during a depressive episode would probably not be met with empathy because she would see him as less than a masculine man.  I think the producers created a situation that would blow up.

I'm always hoping that at the six week decision that people are open to staying together to see if they can really make it work, especially off camera. I never think that at six weeks they're going to be in love unless they had that instantaneous sexual attraction to each other when they met. Sexual attraction isn't love but it's a very good way to get started.

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Just because there are probably people around here who think the '60s and '70s are ancient history, I'll point out that a two-car family then was not particularly unusual. 

I should have clarified:  This was in the Bronx in NYC, at a time when even having ONE car was unusual!  Most if not all of my friends' moms didn't even have a license and never drove (including my mother in law), although the dads often did.  I still have friends in NYC that don't own cars and rarely if ever drive.  One in Manhattan doesn't even have a license.

Edited August 22, 2020 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

What I wonder is what she saw on the internet before they got married.  Personally, I'd be fine with an emotional guy, but not an emotional guy who broadcasts it all over the internet.  We know she had an unfavorable reaction to it, but I don't think it's clear exactly what it is she found repellent.

I know, right?  I keep thinking about that myself!  I'd really like to see the video or videos that turned her off on Miles.  It may put a whole new spin on things and make her reaction a little more understandable.  Then again it may make her look bad.  One thing I hate about social media is that people can judge you based on one bad moment in your life taken out of context.  One reason I don't post much on those sites.  Miles may have not considered that - he's young and maybe didn't realize how it might look to a stranger.  I know they have shut down their social media because of the show, but I keep wondering if there isn't some way for some internet sleuth to find it.

[Neurochick]

18 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

My point is that a person should know what they are getting into before marriage.  I didn't feel it was fair to Derek to be matched with Katie, a diabetic, no matter how well under control. Things can happen. I got a lot of flak for saying it and also now for saying essentially the same about Miles's depression. I think he's a sweetheart and will make someone a fine husband. But to be matched with a person on MAFS who has had no say about this? Nope. Wrong, imo. I'm sorry if folks here are offended, but  I stand by my comments.

I get your point.  But this isn't a perfect world.  You can't be sure of anything in life.  You could marry someone and they could contract an illness or get into an accident, or be diagnosed with depression and THEY didn't even know they had it.   That happens a lot.

[Elizzikra]

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ChristinA strikes me as the flight attendant who would refuse to give you a whole can of soda or an extra bag of peanuts.

Yeah. If you want that kind of treatment, go to first class!

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And dropping a bomb like that about being on medication for clinical depression during honeymoon also shows his age because he hasn’t learn “right place and right time.”

I think all rules about right place/right time go out the window on this show. After all, these people got married without ever meeting first. What's a "normal" timeline for that? I told my husband that I had well managed depression on our third date so he could decide if he was ok with that before got serious. Lucky for me, he didn't even blink. I would rather Miles err on the side of telling her "too soon" than waiting "too long" - especially given that Karen is so worried about being hurt or being blindsided by some evidence that Miles isn't a good guy.

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And I don’t think they’ve mentioned a career for him yet which concerns me. 

Miles works with young people - currently in a school - and he has an undergraduate and a master's degree. I actually can't remember what Karen does though? Project management maybe (but I don't know what industry). 

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There are those, however, that clinical depression is a pretty serious condition though.  I have a friend in his 30s who recently posted some on FB that none of his friends understand his depression.  I messaged him privately and he told me that he's suffered from depression and anxiety all of his life and that nothing is working -- not his meds, not his therapy.  All I can do is be an ear for him and hope that something helps him soon.  

I understand and I take your point. I just don't think that Miles is one of those types of clinically depressed people. And I maintain that well-controlled depression (and one would hope that the candidate would disclose his diagnosis and the "experts" would ensure that it is well-controlled) shouldn't be a deal breaker on this show. General asshattedness isn't so well-controlled depression shouldn't be either.

[sara416]

On 8/19/2020 at 10:49 PM, Yeah No said:

Of course they deserve love, but to be matched with a stranger a huge issue like that is only going to make things all the harder because it can negatively impact their relationship from ever getting off the ground.  It's not the same as being matched with a diabetic or something like that because of that.  A chronic illness that's under control is one thing but something that affects your moods and hence your ability to relate to your significant others is a huge load to put on someone that didn't sign on for that kind of role.  If you meet someone and fall in love with them and are willing to accept their issues and conditions, great, go get married, but to be married and involuntarily signed on to deal with chronic depression from the start is a huge load and one that would be difficult enough if they already knew and liked each other, but even huger and more prone to failure in this situation.  And it can be unhealthy and a sign that getting involved with him will not be easy.  Not all chronic depressives are completely successfully treated.  It looks to me like the focus will be on him and his "moods" and she is not looking for a project.  I just don't think it was a good idea to match him with that issue with her.  I was so hoping he was as good as he seemed at first but little by little I am getting disappointed.

Hi. I'm a therapist and also one of those "chronic depressives" that you mention. The diagnosis is Major Depressive Disorder. Chronic Depression and Clinical Depression aren't even actually diagnoses. Also, it's pretty important to use person first language, as in "a person with depression" or "a person with a diagnosis of depression". It is important to disclose these conditions to someone in a serious relationship, but it seems like Miles is doing just fine. Depression is a chronic illness and can absolutely be under control. Managing your emotions is a major part of everyone's reality, and he was able to tell her what it will look like and what he will need when he is struggling. The way you talk about a person with depression is really offensive and invalidating. 

 

[ShowFan]

22 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

You would think someone who is such a seasoned international traveler would have the right clothes for a beach vacation - that getup was NOT tropical beach vacay ready in any way!

As a Floridian I was mortified too by her outfit! We don’t wear such stuff even in the coldest of winters! Unless you are up north AND it’s winter

[LuvMyShows]

On 8/21/2020 at 10:42 AM, Retired at last said:

And,  as for ChristinA,...every time she exclaims that she has NEVER had to be the aggressor before and that all the men tell her how gorgeous she is (she isn't, at all), it is obvious what they want, since apparently, none of all those men have bothered to send her flowers!

Good point!

On 8/21/2020 at 12:29 PM, JapMo said:

The problem I have with Olivia is she's too clinical.  She has said several times she thinks Brett's cute, but she's not putting out any feminine vibes towards him (from what I see).  Okay, before you start screaming about that statement, I see them holding hands, but I don't remember seeing them kiss except when they said 'I Do'.  

The only time I recall seeing them hold hands was at that underwater activity in this episode, and they showed what I guess was Brett holding Olivia's hand, but what it really looked like was his hand tangentially touching hers and making as minimal contact as he could while still technically counting as holding her hand. 

[LuvMyShows]

On 8/21/2020 at 11:30 AM, Neurochick said:

I think Karen needs to ask herself, "WHY does she keep dating scrubs?"  It's not fair for her to bring all her suitcases into new relationships.  

Well actually there is no "keep" and "all" in terms of her dating history, and that is a huge part of the problem in this case.  At age 30, she said that she had only had 2 serious relationships, and as we know, one of them was with a guy who had a baby behind her back.  I think she is as inexperienced in her own way as Iris was in hers.  She is very closed off, and also minimalist in communication, and that probably was a plus with the type of men that it sounds like she dated, and probably resulted in a not-very-deep relationship, which again was probably a plus with the type of men that she had been dating.  I think she is sooo in over her head with someone like Miles, and I really hope that she gives it a try with him...and if it doesn't work out, then at least she may end up learning a lot about herself and growing in her ability to recognize a healthy relationship.

On 8/21/2020 at 9:21 PM, Alexander Pope said:

I also thought Karen was unnecessarily snippy with Miles when he asked her her thoughts about intimacy.  She concluded her "we'll know when we're ready" answer with "any more questions for me?"  Her tone was not great.

That was truly awful of her.   But given what I mentioned above, I think she has absolutely no idea whatsoever how to even approach a discussion of intimacy.  I could see her wanting to go very slow, because she may not be used to having had that opportunity.  And I can imagine that when her previous 'masculine' men asked her certain types of questions, it may have been to trick or trap her, and not for a genuine sharing of opinions and getting to know each other better.

 

[pdlinda]

23 hours ago, qtpye said:

That's a good take -- thanks for sharing that!  Yes, there's still a lot of weirdness about a woman making more than a man.  And maybe that's where she was coming from.

I was thinking that would certainly apply to Amelia and Bennett.  I think it's understood that Amelia will support the family financially as she will have significant income from practicing medicine.  From Amelia's personality and outlook on life, I would guess she's going to be either an obstetrician/gyno or family physician.  They don't make the "big bucks" other specialties do; however, I believe Amelia's passionate about treating people in need and will be a fine, caring doctor.  Her income will ensure the family can live a comfortable life (even with what I presume will be enormous student loan debt that she's have to manage for years). 

Bennett may surprise us; however, from how he presents with his career history, work in the theater and whatever other "creative" endeavors he chooses to pursue will probably not produce the "steady, reliable and continuing" income that the family will need to pay their bills and save. 

Also, if children come along, Bennett seems like a perfect "stay-at-home" dad, attending to household management and childcare.  There's a lot good to say about the dad staying home and the mom working outside the home.  I think both of them seem very flexible about gender roles so that might work really well for them.  They both seem like very caring people and it's really great that Amelia can achieve financial security for the family while pursuing her chosen field of medicine.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, sara416 said:

Hi. I'm a therapist and also one of those "chronic depressives" that you mention. The diagnosis is Major Depressive Disorder. Chronic Depression and Clinical Depression aren't even actually diagnoses. Also, it's pretty important to use person first language, as in "a person with depression" or "a person with a diagnosis of depression". It is important to disclose these conditions to someone in a serious relationship, but it seems like Miles is doing just fine. Depression is a chronic illness and can absolutely be under control. Managing your emotions is a major part of everyone's reality, and he was able to tell her what it will look like and what he will need when he is struggling. The way you talk about a person with depression is really offensive and invalidating. 

I don't think we have enough information on Miles to know how well he's doing just yet and I don't think any of us knows for sure on that, but that's just my opinion.  Of course I know depression can be kept under control but we don't know that he has his under control just yet, nor how much of a strain it might put on their relationship.  I don't believe anyone on this show at their word - I've had too much experience with this show to do that - nor do I take two or three episodes of seeing very selected bytes of them as evidence of their ability to cope with anything.  I am just more skeptical, that's all.  I'm hoping he turns out to be OK.  I don't think I've said anything offensive or invalidating about him at all.  If you read all of my posts and really listen to what I'm saying I think that would become apparent.   I've taken a lot of heat for my opinions but I don't think they're any less valid than anyone else's.  We just disagree.

[dirtypop90]

On 8/21/2020 at 9:41 AM, Jaclyn88 said:

Karen just comes off like a bitch to me . Christina is an obvious one , whereas Karen tries to come off nice , but her true colors shine through easily , as it’s hard for her to hide it . She wrote Miles off before she even met him . Karen wants the muscle bound guy who says all the right things ( like Woody ), but those guys are so often players and not genuine about what they say . I actually find Miles more attractive than Woody , but he doesn’t radiate confidence the way woody does , and I think Karen is looking for that confidence . Some girls seek good guys , and some seek bad boys . Karen seems like the latter . 
 

Olivia seemed cute and sweet at the wedding , but she was a wet blanket this episode . No smiles , high maintenance , just had a snarl on her face the whole time . I don’t blame her for seeing red flags in Brett . The guy is an asshole who always needs to say or do the opposite of what someone else says or does .. but Olivias constant resting bitch face is very off putting . 

Confidence doesn’t equal “bad boy” I think we would all agree our former president Obama had confidence but he was far from a “bad boy” and was a full on nerd. Miles is just young and immature. I don’t see a lack of confidence, either. He just doesn’t know how to romance a woman like his friend does.  I’m not seeing the “good guy” “good catch stuff.”  

We know he hops in and out of relationship. We have no clue how he treated those women. Not to mention the old phrase “birds of a feather flock together.” If his friend Woody is a “player,” very possible he is too. 

[Yeah No]

38 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

Confidence doesn’t equal “bad boy” I think we would all agree our former president Obama had confidence but he was far from a “bad boy” and was a full on nerd. Miles is just young and immature. I don’t see a lack of confidence, either. He just doesn’t know how to romance a woman like his friend does.  I’m not seeing the “good guy” “good catch stuff.”  

We know he hops in and out of relationship. We have no clue how he treated those women. Not to mention the old phrase “birds of a feather flock together.” If his friend Woody is a “player,” very possible he is too. 

See that's the thing - appearances can be deceiving, especially on this show.  So far all superficial appearances/first impressions point to Miles being a "good guy" and Woody being a "player", but do we really have all that much evidence so far to know that either of those things is true?  Not really.  We've haven't seen much evidence to show that Woody is a player or that Miles is this super-together "nice guy/good catch".  Which is why I remain skeptical until there's more information.  I'm rooting for both of them to turn out OK.  It would especially hurt to find out that Woody is indeed a player or something else dastardly because he is so much fun to watch and he and Amani are very cute together so far.  I also like Amani a lot and would hate to see her get hurt.

Edited August 23, 2020 by Yeah No

[Boo Boo]

10 hours ago, dirtypop90 said:

Confidence doesn’t equal “bad boy” I think we would all agree our former president Obama had confidence but he was far from a “bad boy” and was a full on nerd. Miles is just young and immature. I don’t see a lack of confidence, either. He just doesn’t know how to romance a woman like his friend does.  I’m not seeing the “good guy” “good catch stuff.”  

We know he hops in and out of relationship. We have no clue how he treated those women. Not to mention the old phrase “birds of a feather flock together.” If his friend Woody is a “player,” very possible he is too. 

Hops in and out of relationships.  He's what, 26?  I probably had 4 relationships in high school.  I don't see where having 10 relationships is a big deal.  You're supposed to date.  I think the fact Miles calls them "relationship" means he isn't a booty call type of guy.  When he's in a relationship he's monogamous.      

I mean, shit, Karen's ex-masculine boyfriend had at least 2 relationships going at once when he was with her.

Edited August 23, 2020 by Boo Boo

[Alexander Pope]

11 hours ago, pdlinda said:

I was thinking that would certainly apply to Amelia and Bennett.  I think it's understood that Amelia will support the family financially as she will have significant income from practicing medicine.  From Amelia's personality and outlook on life, I would guess she's going to be either an obstetrician/gyno or family physician.  They don't make the "big bucks" other specialties do; however, I believe Amelia's passionate about treating people in need and will be a fine, caring doctor.  Her income will ensure the family can live a comfortable life (even with what I presume will be enormous student loan debt that she's have to manage for years). 

Bennett may surprise us; however, from how he presents with his career history, work in the theater and whatever other "creative" endeavors he chooses to pursue will probably not produce the "steady, reliable and continuing" income that the family will need to pay their bills and save. 

Also, if children come along, Bennett seems like a perfect "stay-at-home" dad, attending to household management and childcare.  There's a lot good to say about the dad staying home and the mom working outside the home.  I think both of them seem very flexible about gender roles so that might work really well for them.  They both seem like very caring people and it's really great that Amelia can achieve financial security for the family while pursuing her chosen field of medicine.

I agree with all this, and you've made me remember that Amelia was raised in a household where the mother was the bread-winner and the father stayed home.  Bennett clearly has a strong mother--I don't know that we even saw his dad at the wedding?  So they're both very comfortable with what others might perceive as a role reversal.

[Boo Boo]

On 8/20/2020 at 9:40 AM, Cammi said:

I don't understand why Brett is getting hate and not Karen? So far she has shown herself to be: judgey, stand offish, not very compassionate nor is she open to trying something different, and I think she just wants a fuck boi. Karen made her mind up about Miles when she stalked him. Just like Brett did with Olivia when he saw her walk down the isle. Thank goodness they aren't like that guy last season with Mindy, and are giving us at least SOMETHING to work with as far as plot (see Olivia's comment about "our life will continue when the cameras are gone." No, no they won't dear...) but you can tell Karen and Brett are only showing kindness through gritted teeth. 

Everyone saying Christina should be paired with Brett, but I think Karen should have been his match! She is HORRIBLE. People only giving her a pass cuz she's pretty? I don't get it? She wants a stereotypical thug/Neanderthal. Throw her over his shoulder and grunt. A mouth breather is what she wants. A guy that will have a side chick, cheat, and father a kid with another. WHY sign up for this experiment if she knows exactly what she wants? I could dip my toe on Tinder and find Karen's "type". They're EVERYWHERE! Don't understand why everyone is going easy on her. She's the real villian imo

Unless you are talking about elsewhere, I feel like Karen is more hated here than Brett.  There are only a few here that are defending her.

[Yeah No]

14 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

Hops in and out of relationships.  He's what, 26?  I probably had 4 relationships in high school.  I don't see where having 10 relationships is a big deal.  You're supposed to date.  I think the fact Miles calls them "relationship" means he isn't a booty call type of guy.  When he's in a relationship he's monogamous.      

I mean, shit, Karen's ex-masculine boyfriend had at least 2 relationships going at once when he was with her.

Brett has been called a "serial dater" - Judging from how many relationships he says he's had, it looks like Miles might be one of those "serial daters/serial monogamy" people, which means he dates women exclusively but not for very long before they break up.  I don't remember if we know yet whether he's had a long term relationship that has lasted more than a few months and was more serious than just "dating".  I'd like to know that.  If not, that would make me raise an eyebrow.  By his age I would have expected that he's had at least one LTR that has lasted 6 months or more and was a little more serious than just "dating".  There is still so much about Miles we don't know.

[humbleopinion]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

  There is still so much about Miles we don't know.

Miles is an enigma wrapped in a riddle....not really.

The first episodes have been focused on Benmelia, Wamani, Bolivia and Henny and XTinA.

Even though the episodes are 2 long hours the focus hasn't yet been on The MAFS Obamas.

Karen is spending her honeymoon eating and has proved to the best eater in MAFS history, all her food looks so good, she orders like a champ.

Miles is letting her set their agenda..

Karen is the new Jephte...baby steps...I don't know you...you are a stranger...they are the only couple still with a pillow wall.

Edited August 23, 2020 by humbleopinion

[Rae Spellman]

 

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Miles might be one of those "serial daters/serial monogamy" people, which means he dates women exclusively but not for very long before they break up.  I don't remember if we know yet whether he's had a long term relationship that has lasted more than a few months and was more serious than just "dating".  I'd like to know that.  If not, that would make me raise an eyebrow.  By his age I would have expected that he's had at least one LTR that has lasted 6 months or more and was a little more serious than just "dating".  There is still so much about Miles we don't know.

In addition to saying that he's had ten relationships, 26 year old Miles said he was single for 2 years before MAFS. So, 10 relationships by age 24. Maybe he had a different girlfriend for 6+ months each year of high school, undergrad, and grad school, and then was single while working with kids and promoting to school administrator. 

Miles is in good company though. These other folks aren't necessarily more mature or better at relationships.  Amani supposedly doesn't have much sexual experience but had relationships where the guy wasn't committed and initiated several baths/showers with Woody before she planned to have sex with him knowing he was DTF day one. Brett ended a relationship because the woman cheated and then proceeding to go on dates with 45+ women before MAFS. Olivia didn't date for 3.5 years before MAFS, created a routine to mitigate the loneliness of living alone, and isn't sure how much of that routine she wants to change now that she is married. Woody had a LTR relationship that lasted 3-4 years, admitted to cheating and being a f*ckbo* in his twenties, and claims he's ready to be a husband and build a family. Karen had two total relationships, one of those guys cheated, and she still dreams of being part of a power couple.  Amelia said that she falls in love everyday, had relationships that ended due to her frequent moves. Right now she's hoping a guy who believes having biological children is unethical will be a stay at home dad for her biological children. Henry said he would never approach a woman he's interested in at a bar. Maybe he doesn't approach women at all.

I love these people. All of them. Even Brett, Christina, and Karen. They are wonderfully human and entertaining. Even Henry. 

[Boo Boo]

3 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Brett has been called a "serial dater" - Judging from how many relationships he says he's had, it looks like Miles might be one of those "serial daters/serial monogamy" people, which means he dates women exclusively but not for very long before they break up.  I don't remember if we know yet whether he's had a long term relationship that has lasted more than a few months and was more serious than just "dating".  I'd like to know that.  If not, that would make me raise an eyebrow.  By his age I would have expected that he's had at least one LTR that has lasted 6 months or more and was a little more serious than just "dating".  There is still so much about Miles we don't know.

 

I just think most people would probably have had 10 relationships, or close to it, by age 26 if they really counted back.  Very few people date one person in high school, one person in college, then get married by 26.  In fact, I think if you had less than 10 and at age 26 get married, you're missing out.  You really don't know who you are that young.  I know people that married their high school boyfriend and they are now divorced.  

To me the only mistake Miles made is relationship #11.

 

45 minutes ago, RaeSpellman said:

 

In addition to saying that he's had ten relationships, 26 year old Miles said he was single for 2 years before MAFS. So, 10 relationships by age 24. Maybe he had a different girlfriend for 6+ months each year of high school, undergrad, and grad school, and then was single while working with kids and promoting to school administrator. 

 

And to me, if that's the case, who cares?  That's pretty smart actually.  I don't understand why people are acting like 10 relationships is a terrible thing.  I mean, if he said he's been engaged 10 times, yes that's an issue.  But relationships?  

There is probably no perfect number of relationships for Karen because she just isn't attracted to Miles.  I would be willing to bet her ex-bf probably had a lot of relationships in his past and others that produced babies but she didn't give a shit because she found him physically hot.

Edited August 23, 2020 by Boo Boo

[pdlinda]

1 hour ago, Boo Boo said:

There is probably no perfect number of relationships for Karen because she just isn't attracted to Miles. 

Yes, I agree. 

I recall the same phenomenon with Jazmin and Will from a few seasons ago.  No matter what she did or didn't do was in vain because Will was simply not going to engage in an intimate relationship with her.  

The same dynamic appears with Karen.  I'm sure they'll "muddle through" (producer driven) until the final "reveal" show but in the meantime I have nothing but compassion for Miles having to "tread water" emotionally and physically around this "ice princess."

[TheMediumBopper]

I'm still wondering how Miles defines 'serious relationships.' People he slept with? People he went out with for more than a month? People he thought he was in love with? It's hard to quantify what's too many when it comes to that sort of thing. Ten might be a lot of people to be in love with, but who am I to judge? I was on my third 'serious relationship' by 26, but when I look back at what I was like at 26 I was basically a child still. A child with a job and bills to pay.

Edited August 23, 2020 by TheMediumBopper

[Empress1]

3 hours ago, TheMediumBopper said:

I'm still wondering how Miles defines 'serious relationships.' People he slept with? People he went out with for more than a month? People he thought he was in love with? It's hard to quantify what's too many when it comes to that sort of thing. Ten might be a lot of people to be in love with, but who am I to judge? I was on my third 'serious relationship' by 26, but when I look back at what I was like at 26 I was basically a child still. A child with a job and bills to pay.

He said "monogamous," not "serious," if I remember right. I had my first boyfriend at 15 and that was monogamous - neither of us was dating other people (that's what "boyfriend/girlfriend" meant - if you have and give those titles, you're not going on dates with anyone else), but it wasn't serious because we were 15. The relationship lasted a few months.

If Miles had three of those in high school, four of those in college, and three of those in the two years between college graduation and age 24 because he's apparently been single from 24-26, that's 10. I don't think that's a big deal. One of my best friends (the one I mentioned who is married to a man with bipolar disorder) was a serial monogamist before she got married. Her relationships varied in length (some were years long, some were months long) but she's never been the type to date more than one person at a time. Even if she was just "seeing" someone (going on dates with/being sexual with a person, but with no promise of exclusivity to that person), she generally wasn't seeing anyone else. It sounds like Miles is just a relationship guy. 

[Boo Boo]

17 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

He said "monogamous," not "serious," if I remember right. I had my first boyfriend at 15 and that was monogamous - neither of us was dating other people (that's what "boyfriend/girlfriend" meant - if you have and give those titles, you're not going on dates with anyone else), but it wasn't serious because we were 15. The relationship lasted a few months.

If Miles had three of those in high school, four of those in college, and three of those in the two years between college graduation and age 24 because he's apparently been single from 24-26, that's 10. I don't think that's a big deal. One of my best friends (the one I mentioned who is married to a man with bipolar disorder) was a serial monogamist before she got married. Her relationships varied in length (some were years long, some were months long) but she's never been the type to date more than one person at a time. Even if she was just "seeing" someone (going on dates with/being sexual with a person, but with no promise of exclusivity to that person), she generally wasn't seeing anyone else. It sounds like Miles is just a relationship guy. 

Exactly.  That's the key word.  It seems like this has been extrapolated to him being some desperate weirdo who falls in love with everyone he meets.  

If "relationship hopper" is a bad thing b/c he's had 10 monogamous relationships, it makes me wonder how faithful Karen is in a relationship or how many one night stands she's had.

[TheMediumBopper]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

He said "monogamous," not "serious," if I remember right.

Ah, I stand corrected, then. 'Monogamous' and 'serious' are pretty different. From my perspective, ten is still kind of on the high side, but not crazy-high like some people I knew at 26. And serial monogamy is always preferable to being a straight-up manwhore (ahem, Brett). 

[JapMo]

23 hours ago, ShowFan said:

On 8/21/2020 at 10:56 PM, Ilovepie said:

You would think someone who is such a seasoned international traveler would have the right clothes for a beach vacation - that getup was NOT tropical beach vacay ready in any way!

As a Floridian I was mortified too by her outfit! We don’t wear such stuff even in the coldest of winters! Unless you are up north AND it’s winter

The outfit was not only unflattering, and didn't fit her right, but it also seemed inappropriate for the climate.  It made me hot just looking at her all bundled up like that.

[JapMo]

I don't think anyone has mentioned this, but did anyone think it odd that Olivia just stood there and listened to Christina bash Brett without making any attempt to defend him?  I mean, granted she doesn't know Brett very well, but she doesn't know Christina very well either.  Olivia isn't a pushover, no matter how much sugar and spice crap the show labels her.  It seemed out of character that she didn't at least try to stick up for him, or at the very least tell Christina she didn't need looking after and mind your own business you....your husband is no prize.

[Ilovepie]

7 hours ago, TheMediumBopper said:

I'm still wondering how Miles defines 'serious relationships.'

This is the the main issue right here. We don’t know what constitutes “a relationship” for Miles, nor do we have any time frame for when these 10 monogamous relationships happened. Is he talking as an adult, or is he counting back to the onset of puberty? Context matters, all we have is conjecture.....

[Yeah No]

4 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

This is the the main issue right here. We don’t know what constitutes “a relationship” for Miles, nor do we have any time frame for when these 10 monogamous relationships happened. Is he talking as an adult, or is he counting back to the onset of puberty? Context matters, all we have is conjecture.....

Thank you, for me this pretty much nails it.  You put it much better than I did.  It's not really that there were 10, but the context of the 10 that counts.  It's really frustrating that we're getting the important contextual details about some of these people in drips and drabs.  The season is young yet, though, LOL.  It's hard to come to any conclusion about them just yet.

BTW I had 5 "monogamous" relationships before I got married, and that's counting my very first boyfriend in 9th grade.  But I got married at 21 back when it wasn't so uncommon to get married that young.   Who knows, if I had stayed single until 26 I might have made it to 10, LOL.

[Ilovepie]

10 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

BTW I had 5 "monogamous" relationships before I got married, and that's counting my very first boyfriend in 9th grade.  But I got married at 21 back when it wasn't so uncommon to get married that young.   Who knows, if I had stayed single until 26 I might have made it to 10, LOL.

I guess I’m more like Karen. I had one boyfriend in high school and one serious boyfriend in college. I won’t say before I met my my husband because I knew him and was friends with him while I was with my college boyfriend. So, three serious relationships? I dated and fooled around with others but I definitely wouldn’t call them monogamous relationships. I got married one month shy of my 26th birthday, so I guess I was young too. We’ve been married for 21 years. 
10 monogamous relationships sound like a lot, but who cares?  I think he was trying to emphasize the monogamous part but all she heard was the 10, which seems to be generating the most discussion here too.

I really hope she can un-thaw some. He appears (at least so far) to be a nice guy. It’s so frustrating when this show finds a nice guy ready for marriage (like finding a unicorn!) and wastes them on a dud girl. 

[Boo Boo]

9 hours ago, JapMo said:

I don't think anyone has mentioned this, but did anyone think it odd that Olivia just stood there and listened to Christina bash Brett without making any attempt to defend him?  I mean, granted she doesn't know Brett very well, but she doesn't know Christina very well either.  Olivia isn't a pushover, no matter how much sugar and spice crap the show labels her.  It seemed out of character that she didn't at least try to stick up for him, or at the very least tell Christina she didn't need looking after and mind your own business you....your husband is no prize.

I feel like Olivia already has concerns about Brett, especially knowing he was actively dating while signing up for the show.  And called her a wonderful woman, making it sound like he if he hadn't been casted, he'd be dating her still.  

In fact, I think Olivia's concerns about Brett is exactly why she went from overworked cat lady to expensive travel, expensive wine.

 

[humbleopinion]

The chatter inside Olivia’s brain.....🤔

If Brett bangs on the third date then why haven’t we been humping since we got to Xcaret?
Why hasn’t he slipped in between the sheets naked after the camera crew leaves...let’s be honest he is not a sweatpants and tee shirt as pjs type guy...he’s a full commando dude...
I should just jump him...haven’t had sexy time in 3 and a half years without a battery powered friend and my itch needs to be scratched....
New plan...Suggest tequila shots....Lick the salt...down the hatch..Slam the shot glass on the table...Bite the lime...and bend him over backwards like the Matrix with a Toe curling kiss....

Why is he treating me like his aunt...if I am so damn wonderful then let’s get down and dirty government boy......rawr...

 

 

Edited August 24, 2020 by humbleopinion

[scruffy73]

On 8/21/2020 at 11:58 AM, StatisticalOutlier said:

 

I'm a little troubled.  She'd said she wants to take it slow on the sex front, but he had a full-court press.  Laying out the rose petals made me uneasy.  It would be one thing if they were already having sex and it was a special-occasion or one-off romantic thing, but this looked like a ploy.  She probably wasn't helping things, with taking showers together apparently constantly. 

If he'd verbally pressured her for sex, that would be considered bad, and possibly harassment.  I see the rose petals as just a different form of persuasion.  Really, now that I think about it, not that different from getting liquored up, actually.  I just hope it's what she really wanted to do, 

[gonecrackers]

2 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

I feel like Olivia already has concerns about Brett, especially knowing he was actively dating while signing up for the show.  And called her a wonderful woman, making it sound like he if he hadn't been casted, he'd be dating her still.  

In fact, I think Olivia's concerns about Brett is exactly why she went from overworked cat lady to expensive travel, expensive wine.

 

^This here. The issues with him are increasing. On Unfiltered she said she was warned about Brett's bachelor party behavior by the wives (who were told by husbands). She's on her guard, & rightfully so IMO.

[humbleopinion]

34 minutes ago, scruffy73 said:

On 8/21/2020 at 9:58 AM, StatisticalOutlier said:

 I just hope it's what she really wanted to do, 

Amani did the TH admitting to sex so thinking she was on board literally and figuratively.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

From Amelia's personality and outlook on life, I would guess she's going to be either an obstetrician/gyno or family physician.

I think someone posted that she is doing her residency in Family Practice. It's not the highest paid form of medicine but there's always a need and it's a good living. It matches her personality in my opinion - I think she will like working with patients from "womb to tomb."

[sara416]

On 8/22/2020 at 11:05 PM, Yeah No said:

I don't think we have enough information on Miles to know how well he's doing just yet and I don't think any of us knows for sure on that, but that's just my opinion.  Of course I know depression can be kept under control but we don't know that he has his under control just yet, nor how much of a strain it might put on their relationship.  I don't believe anyone on this show at their word - I've had too much experience with this show to do that - nor do I take two or three episodes of seeing very selected bytes of them as evidence of their ability to cope with anything.  I am just more skeptical, that's all.  I'm hoping he turns out to be OK.  I don't think I've said anything offensive or invalidating about him at all.  If you read all of my posts and really listen to what I'm saying I think that would become apparent.   I've taken a lot of heat for my opinions but I don't think they're any less valid than anyone else's.  We just disagree.

You are just providing some pretty sweeping judgements about someone who, from what we have seen, is functioning just fine, as well as giving incorrect diagnostic information, out of date and offensive phrasing,  and assuming the worst about someone who is dealing with a very common mental health diagnosis. I agree about the editing, this is one of the most highly and obvuiously edited reality shows that I have seen. But for dramatic purposes, they absolutely would have shown Miles in a depressive episode if they had that to go on. I don't have an issue with your opinion that certain things should be disclosed, but it's also up to that person to disclose them. And he did a great job of disclosing it and stating his needs. 

[TheMediumBopper]

6 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

I feel like Olivia already has concerns about Brett, especially knowing he was actively dating while signing up for the show.  And called her a wonderful woman, making it sound like he if he hadn't been casted, he'd be dating her still.  

In fact, I think Olivia's concerns about Brett is exactly why she went from overworked cat lady to expensive travel, expensive wine.

 

That could be true. I have a knee-jerk reaction against Olivia and her baby voice, but she has plenty of legit reasons for being wary of Brett. Did I correctly hear Brett say that he went on a date a couple days before he got married? What the eff is the point of that? That alone speaks of a complete lack of genuine interest in 'the process' and would probably be  a dealbreaker for me.

[humbleopinion]

3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

 On Unfiltered she said she was warned about Brett's bachelor party behavior by the wives (who were told by husbands). She's on her guard, & rightfully so IMO.

Liv confronted him about his active dating up to being cast and he unashamedly admitted that he would have gone on the 3rd/sex date if he had not been picked when he was as a groom.

Timing is everything...he could have had sex with yet another "wonderful woman" 14 days before walking down the aisle....squeaking in a new sex partner just before the notification he was chosen for the cast...

The asshattery behavior at the bachelor party was a mix of too much booze, stupidity, thinking he was being funny and megalomaniac behavior...basically just being himself and playing it up for the cameras....no harm...except it put a target on his back.

 

 

[Boo Boo]

9 minutes ago, TheMediumBopper said:

That could be true. I have a knee-jerk reaction against Olivia and her baby voice, but she has plenty of legit reasons for being wary of Brett. Did I correctly hear Brett say that he went on a date a couple days before he got married? What the eff is the point of that? That alone speaks of a complete lack of genuine interest in 'the process' and would probably be  a dealbreaker for me.

I agree with you!  I also have that knee-jerk reaction against Olivia and that voice!  But yes, she def. should be wary of Brett.  

[dirtypop90]

On 8/23/2020 at 11:05 AM, Boo Boo said:

Hops in and out of relationships.  He's what, 26?  I probably had 4 relationships in high school.  I don't see where having 10 relationships is a big deal.  You're supposed to date.  I think the fact Miles calls them "relationship" means he isn't a booty call type of guy.  When he's in a relationship he's monogamous.      

I mean, shit, Karen's ex-masculine boyfriend had at least 2 relationships going at once when he was with her.

I don't see how you squeeze in 10 before 24 but I admit to being more conservative and a workaholic. I wasn't even allowed to date when I lived at home (in high school) so that could be clouding my judgment (I didn't even think of high school relationships). There's also not dating and giving yourself space to find yourself, focusing on school, establishing yourself at work, having family difficulties, sickness etc, preventing people from hoping around, doesn't mean we're having one night stands etc. I had only had one relationship by 24 because I was focused on my education in my late teens and early twenties (college and law school) and men were not a priority. The choice ended up being right for me.

Some of us don't quickly move from one person to the next like Miles and have other priorities.

Miles might have also had multiple relationships at once. Many assumptions about "nice guy Miles." He could have been a crap guy in all ten of those relationships. I don't get the fan club for him already.

On 8/23/2020 at 1:32 AM, Yeah No said:

See that's the thing - appearances can be deceiving, especially on this show.  So far all superficial appearances/first impressions point to Miles being a "good guy" and Woody being a "player", but do we really have all that much evidence so far to know that either of those things is true?  Not really.  We've haven't seen much evidence to show that Woody is a player or that Miles is this super-together "nice guy/good catch".  Which is why I remain skeptical until there's more information.  I'm rooting for both of them to turn out OK.  It would especially hurt to find out that Woody is indeed a player or something else dastardly because he is so much fun to watch and he and Amani are very cute together so far.  I also like Amani a lot and would hate to see her get hurt.

I agree 1000%. We don't know either of these men. And frankly they both raise red flags for me. I also love Amani.

 

On 8/23/2020 at 2:44 PM, Boo Boo said:

 

 

There is probably no perfect number of relationships for Karen because she just isn't attracted to Miles. 

This I agree with.

Edited August 24, 2020 by dirtypop90