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S12.E8 Head Over Hills


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Hold on I don't think anyone is saying put your underage toddlers and children last ..... you still have to raise those children but don't treat the spouse like they are expendable or the 2nd thought to anything during those years ... you are a team not one vs the other ....

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Kenya is Like pretty much evil. She purposely tried to ruin Cynthia proposal cause her marriage is garbage. She had a grin on her face when Kandi was was talking to her about it. Who would say that to a friend after the other friend was texting her about it. There’s no way she wasn’t trying to ruin it a bit.

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Kenya is that person who needs to find out information the same time as everyone else, because she just likes spoiling people's moments. She needs to keep that same energy with Mark. Cynthia finally got her ring. 

On 12/24/2019 at 3:06 PM, albarino said:

Just catching a rerun on tv.  When did Cynthia become such a fat-ass?  LORDY, these women are huge....Ahhh the appeal of my 600 pound life!  Atlanta version!  Gobble up ladies.

 

Really!?

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3 hours ago, spunky said:

LORDY, these women are huge....Ahhh the appeal of my 600 pound life!  Atlanta version!  Gobble up ladies.Fat.  Fat.  Fat. 

Yes, really. These ladies are fat-asses.  Do you not see it?  They are heifers.  I feel sorry for them.  Waddle o n!

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11 hours ago, albarino said:

Yes, really. These ladies are fat-asses.  Do you not see it?  They are heifers.  I feel sorry for them.  Waddle o n!

I was not going to mention the beautiful Cynthia walking in to her meeting in a backless halter, there was an excess of, well, fat rolls.  Pains me to say it about anyone not being perfection myself but I stopped wearing backless a while ago.  In that maze of closets Cynthia has does she not have a 3 way mirror?

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36 minutes ago, Keywestclubkid said:

Lets not be the weight police .... as long as the women are happy why start snarking on them not being the "perfect" weight? and its not like these woman are 800 pounds come on now

Yeah, I only just caught a bit of this show at the gym and none of these women are fat.  I think they all have really nice bodies because I definitely do not think that the ideal body size is a 2 or 4.  

I don't mind people being the weight police.....to each their own.....but to say this show features fat women seems extreme and a step towards promoting a unhealthy body ideal. 

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44 minutes ago, Keywestclubkid said:

Lets not be the weight police .... as long as the women are happy why start snarking on them not being the "perfect" weight? and its not like these woman are 800 pounds come on now

This is my thought, as well. The women are beautiful and happy, what do I care if they are not rail-thin? Who is anyone else to pass judgment on them for not having a 19.5 BMI?

There are so many opportunities to create funny/insightful/biting snark about these characters, but their weight is not one of them, IMO.

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On 12/23/2019 at 9:44 PM, Empress1 said:

(@luckyroll3 What was dude doing in your house all day? Did he work?)

To his credit, he had just finished his masters and was in the midst of job hunting.  However, we would make plans for him to stay at my place for a long weekend (he lived almost 2 hours away) and he would be like, "I'll be here for the next 2 weeks."  And my reaction was always like

giphy.gif

especially when I would come home to no food AND he's sitting on my spot on the couch.  That motherfucker had to go!  And that was only the tip of the iceberg.....

giphy.gif

On 12/24/2019 at 12:19 PM, SheTalksShit said:

I really don't think Kenya meant to ruin anything. She was pretty sheepish when Kandi got mad at her, like, "oh, my dumb-ass..." I feel like she just wasn't thinking of it like that. 

Oh no, that was all an act.  She knew exactly what she was doing, you just wasn't expecting to get called out on it.

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19 hours ago, Marley said:

Cynthia fat? What the hell world am I living in if ppl consider any of these women fat.

For the record, I did not call the Beautiful Cynthia fat, I made mention that she may not be as firm as she once was, the open back dress showed a bit of flesh that was once taut and now...not so much now.  I would not call her fat...glass houses and all. 

I think what we all are saying is when these HW's appear on TV (which is like being under a microscope) and profess that they are the harbinger of money, taste, class, fitness whatever we are allowed to judge.  When we see a model that may not be so model like anymore we are sad for the changes (that happen to all of us), Cynthia is still a gorgeous woman, cheekbones for days, the camera still loves her but the rail thin figure she once was is no more...le sigh. 

 

Edited by Baltimore Betty
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12 minutes ago, albarino said:

Sorry, I think they are all fat.  I don't watch the show anymore--too screechy--but Lane Bryant should be the sponsor.  Eat up ladies! 

I'm pretty sure they don't sell kenya's size or Cynthia size clothing at Lane Bryant.  But TBF,  I've never shopped there.  I just understood that they sold size 12+ clothing and neither cynthia nor Kenya (nor any of the cast I believe) is a size 12+

To me, Kenya/Cynthia are on par with the size of most other cast members I've seen.  Do you consider Kim k and Lisa vanderpump fat?  

 

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2 minutes ago, RealReality said:

'm pretty sure they don't sell kenya's size or Cynthia size clothing at Lane Bryant.  But TBF,  I've never shopped there.  I just understood that they sold size 12+ clothing and neither cynthia nor Kenya (nor any of the cast I believe) is a size 12+

To me, Kenya/Cynthia are on par with the size of most other cast members I've seen.  Do you consider Kim k and Lisa vanderpump fat?  

I'm sure they sell Kenya's and Cynthia's sizes at Lane Bryant.  They are overweight.  They must be at least size 12s.  Don't you see it?  They are clearly overweight.  Fat.  Kim K?  Porker.  LVD? Not a porker.

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oh the internet where a avrage weight woman is called fat because they arnt rail thin ..... I do think Kenya and her man are headed for Divorce tho .... and its gonna be UGLY .... Cause we already know she will go LOW BLOW with her attacks and he is the kind of man that will give it right back... the tea that will be spilled when that happens is gonna be jucy 

Edited by Keywestclubkid
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1 hour ago, albarino said:

I'm sure they sell Kenya's and Cynthia's sizes at Lane Bryant.  They are overweight.  They must be at least size 12s.  Don't you see it?  They are clearly overweight.  Fat.  Kim K?  Porker.  LVD? Not a porker.

Nope, I'm not as fit as Kenya and I'm a size 8.  From what I saw, Cynthia is also probably skinnier than me and again, I'm a size 8.  

Are you in America?  I know sizes run different overseas, so I'm a European 12 IIRC.  But no, neither Kenya or Cynthia would be a size 12.  

Kenya and Cynthia are no bigger than LVP unless she lost a ton of weight.  Maybe the curves are what make you think they are fat?  

Neither are rail thin, but I think there is a wide gulf between rail thin and fat.  

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5 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

oh the internet where a avrage weight woman is called fat because they arnt rail thin ..... I do think Kenya and her man are headed for Divorce tho .... and its gonna be UGLY .... Cause we already know she will go LOW BLOW with her attacks and he is the kind of man that will give it right back... the tea that will be spilled when that happens is gonna be jucy 

Part of me is sad that there is a kid that will be able to read all the divorce drama when they are older, but the Bravo side of me is HERE for the mess, LOL.

We already know Marc doesn’t give a shit about Kenya, so I can’t wait to see what tea he spills when things get ugly.

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 As far as their weight, I see three categories—1.) Kandi, Porsha and Kenya, who could all stand to lose a few, who all used to be thin and now are not (and this analysis predates all of their most recent pregnancies) 2.) Eva—it’s hard to tell what body type she has, because she’s always pregnant, but she’s not skinny.  When Marlo told her to “lose another 10” before the wedding, she wasn’t wrong 3.) Nene and Cynthia, who are extra large women, both in height and weight.  

Cynthia has put on a significant amount of weight since she joined the show, and even more since last season.  She mentioned this episode that she is carrying around “love pounds.”  I don’t see what’s so wrong about being extra large, and it’s very obvious to me that’s what she is. 

Because this?

  7C458970-4D7D-4EBC-818F-6E90F5F6ECCE.jpeg.05eab09e19d9fa8db219a26dabb8d150.jpeg

Is not a size eight.  It’s nowhere near a size 8.  Cynthia is bigger than Tyra Banks, so are we saying Tyra is a six??  Given Cynthia’s height, which I think is 5’10”, I’d say she’s currently a size 16.  If this is a size 8, I want to shop where she shops!

I mentioned in another episode’s thread that, when Cynthia first came on the show—when she was at the thinnest that we’ve seen her, which was never model thin IMO—she was modeling swimsuits in Miami and all the other cast members (Nene, Phaedra, Kim, etc) were shocked at the size of her ass.  Sheree did a talking head wherein she opined that Cynthia is wearing anything from a size 10 to a size 14. So how would she be an 8 now, some 45+ lbs later?

The thing with Cynthia—and I think she is totally beautiful, although she’s really starting to fuck up her face with fillers—she wears none of her fat in her face.  So if you’re just looking at her face, not really paying attention to her body, she presents like a thin woman.  But if you look at the lines her body makes, there really is not much of a difference between her and Nene. They’re both hovering around 200 lbs.  I don’t see what’s so wrong about that.  I’m not sure why it’s something to dive for cover about.  It just is.  

And the picture I posted doesn’t really do Cynthia justice, because she’s a model and she knows how to pose.  On the show, and when she made her appearance on the penultimate episode of this season’s Married to Medicine, she looks very big.  As has been mentioned, the backless black dress Cynthia wore this episode was an unfortunate styling choice.  It wasn’t very tight, yet there were back rolls piled one atop the other.  

I wouldn’t even put Kenya and Cynthia in the same weight conversation.  Kenya could maybe physically squeeze into an 8, but it wouldn’t look right.  Cynthia’s days of being an eight are way behind her.  

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10 hours ago, RealReality said:

Are you in America?  I know sizes run different overseas, so I'm a European 12 IIRC.  But no, neither Kenya or Cynthia would be a size 12. 

I am in America and have made my point (as insignificant as it is).  I think the Atlanta women are beautiful; yet fat.  My opinion.

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54 minutes ago, albarino said:

I am in America and have made my point (as insignificant as it is).  I think the Atlanta women are beautiful; yet fat.  My opinion.

True, it's your opinion.  Mine is different, maybe in light of the fact that the average American woman is a size 12.  But then again saying that women are beautiful BUT fat seems like an odd statement to me for any person.  How often are people saying that Ariana grande is beautiful, but skinny?

Someone can just be beautiful without a qualifier.   

I also don't particularly understand calling women heifers who waddle, because I think it's an ugly sentiment and I really don't understand it when the women in question aren't even fat or above average.  But, IMO, they aren't fat or obese, so maybe if I thought they were I'd feel differently.

I don't think that picture of Cynthia shows a fat person.  It shows a regular sized woman in a flowy dress.  LOL, I shop at pretty normal places (Nordstrom rack lately) and i don't think that picture of Cynthia puts her near the size 16.  

To each their own, but the idea that these women are waddling heifers is jarring to me, so I think I have a pretty visceral reaction to it.  

Edited by RealReality
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30 minutes ago, RealReality said:

To each their own, but the idea that these women are waddling heifers is jarring to me, so I think I have a pretty visceral reaction to it.  

Yes, I've said I think these women are fat/obese and that is my opinion.  You can state they are slim.  That is your opinion.  We really can disagree and it is fine.  

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I also don't particularly understand calling women heifers who waddle

I never how or why people use heifer as an insult. A heifer is just a young cow who hasn't borne a child, so TBH I never understood why people who seem to be disgusted by/have issues with "overweight" women don't just call them cows to begin with if the sight of a woman who isn't stick thin triggers them... 

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I tuned in to this show after not watching for a few years. When did Nene become so vile? I always thought she was such a strong, smart, badass woman. The type of woman I hoped my daughters would grow up to be. Not any more! I don’t know how the other women can stand being around her. I think Kandi looks better than ever!

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When did Nene become so vile?

Well for me, I would say around season 7? Although she did become less fun during season 6, season 7 was when she really stopped being fun to watch. Especially that season's reunion.

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I respect your opinion, and I'm definitely not trying to change your mind, but I disagree with you.  Children are born and raised to leave the nest.  If they're healthy, they'll find a partner of their own and leave you.  A spouse, or a partner, is someone to grow old and grey with, so they come first for that reason at least.  I think we can find a lot of agreement.  I'm not advocating throwing your children to the wolves or anything...

I totally agree.  It's like that saying, The greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother.  (Or if they're not together, to treat the mother of his children with respect and make sure they do too!)

A  lot of the Atlanta moms act like their family is Grandmother/Mother/Child rather than Partner/Child.  

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OBVIOUSLY Kenya RUINED the surprise to punish Cynthia for softening towards Nene. That evil grin she gave to Kandi is proof she did it on purpose!! Anyone gunna ask how she'd like it if Cynthia did that to her?? She has NO answer for why she did that & we know why!

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On 12/24/2019 at 1:28 PM, Rlb8031 said:

Absolutely! But I think that its more than just being obnoxious. She said it herself - she sees herself as an alpha and wants to dominate everyone. And she truly does not understand how to be understated and genuine. So whenever she wants to turn it off, she starts acting (badly). Its the fake tears, and the wide eyes, the whispered confessions that drive me crazy because you can see how fake it all is, and how calculated. So when Marc is talking about the "flash" its always having people looking at you, checking for you, talking about you - again whether positive or negative. I've got to imagine its exhausting to be with her.

 

On 12/24/2019 at 3:06 PM, albarino said:

Just catching a rerun on tv.  When did Cynthia become such a fat-ass?  LORDY, these women are huge....Ahhh the appeal of my 600 pound life!  Atlanta version!  Gobble up ladies.

 

 

On 12/26/2019 at 9:43 AM, Baltimore Betty said:

I was not going to mention the beautiful Cynthia walking in to her meeting in a backless halter, there was an excess of, well, fat rolls.  Pains me to say it about anyone not being perfection myself but I stopped wearing backless a while ago.  In that maze of closets Cynthia has does she not have a 3 way mirror?

 

On 12/26/2019 at 10:31 AM, RealReality said:

Yeah, I only just caught a bit of this show at the gym and none of these women are fat.  I think they all have really nice bodies because I definitely do not think that the ideal body size is a 2 or 4.  

I don't mind people being the weight police.....to each their own.....but to say this show features fat women seems extreme and a step towards promoting a unhealthy body ideal. 

 

On 12/26/2019 at 1:42 PM, Marley said:

Cynthia fat? What the hell world am I living in if ppl consider any of these women fat.

 

On 12/27/2019 at 8:55 AM, Baltimore Betty said:

For the record, I did not call the Beautiful Cynthia fat, I made mention that she may not be as firm as she once was, the open back dress showed a bit of flesh that was once taut and now...not so much now.  I would not call her fat...glass houses and all. 

I think what we all are saying is when these HW's appear on TV (which is like being under a microscope) and profess that they are the harbinger of money, taste, class, fitness whatever we are allowed to judge.  When we see a model that may not be so model like anymore we are sad for the changes (that happen to all of us), Cynthia is still a gorgeous woman, cheekbones for days, the camera still loves her but the rail thin figure she once was is no more...le sigh. 

 

 

On 12/27/2019 at 10:25 AM, Keywestclubkid said:

oh the internet where a avrage weight woman is called fat because they arnt rail thin ..... I do think Kenya and her man are headed for Divorce tho .... and its gonna be UGLY .... Cause we already know she will go LOW BLOW with her attacks and he is the kind of man that will give it right back... the tea that will be spilled when that happens is gonna be jucy 

 

On 12/27/2019 at 4:20 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

 As far as their weight, I see three categories—1.) Kandi, Porsha and Kenya, who could all stand to lose a few, who all used to be thin and now are not (and this analysis predates all of their most recent pregnancies) 2.) Eva—it’s hard to tell what body type she has, because she’s always pregnant, but she’s not skinny.  When Marlo told her to “lose another 10” before the wedding, she wasn’t wrong 3.) Nene and Cynthia, who are extra large women, both in height and weight.  

Cynthia has put on a significant amount of weight since she joined the show, and even more since last season.  She mentioned this episode that she is carrying around “love pounds.”  I don’t see what’s so wrong about being extra large, and it’s very obvious to me that’s what she is. 

Because this?

  7C458970-4D7D-4EBC-818F-6E90F5F6ECCE.jpeg.05eab09e19d9fa8db219a26dabb8d150.jpeg

Is not a size eight.  It’s nowhere near a size 8.  Cynthia is bigger than Tyra Banks, so are we saying Tyra is a six??  Given Cynthia’s height, which I think is 5’10”, I’d say she’s currently a size 16.  If this is a size 8, I want to shop where she shops!

I mentioned in another episode’s thread that, when Cynthia first came on the show—when she was at the thinnest that we’ve seen her, which was never model thin IMO—she was modeling swimsuits in Miami and all the other cast members (Nene, Phaedra, Kim, etc) were shocked at the size of her ass.  Sheree did a talking head wherein she opined that Cynthia is wearing anything from a size 10 to a size 14. So how would she be an 8 now, some 45+ lbs later?

The thing with Cynthia—and I think she is totally beautiful, although she’s really starting to fuck up her face with fillers—she wears none of her fat in her face.  So if you’re just looking at her face, not really paying attention to her body, she presents like a thin woman.  But if you look at the lines her body makes, there really is not much of a difference between her and Nene. They’re both hovering around 200 lbs.  I don’t see what’s so wrong about that.  I’m not sure why it’s something to dive for cover about.  It just is.  

And the picture I posted doesn’t really do Cynthia justice, because she’s a model and she knows how to pose.  On the show, and when she made her appearance on the penultimate episode of this season’s Married to Medicine, she looks very big.  As has been mentioned, the backless black dress Cynthia wore this episode was an unfortunate styling choice.  It wasn’t very tight, yet there were back rolls piled one atop the other.  

I wouldn’t even put Kenya and Cynthia in the same weight conversation.  Kenya could maybe physically squeeze into an 8, but it wouldn’t look right.  Cynthia’s days of being an eight are way behind her.  

 

On 12/27/2019 at 9:46 PM, albarino said:

I am in America and have made my point (as insignificant as it is).  I think the Atlanta women are beautiful; yet fat.  My opinion.

I agree that everyone has a right to their opinion and there is no point to watching a howives show without snark. As long as we can discuss it intelligently among ourselves and I feel like we are doing on this board, so Bravo to all of you.

That being said, when I first saw Cynthia I really thought she was one of the most beautiful women I have seen in my life. I still think she is beautiful but do not think she always dresses appropriately for her new curvier and thicker body.

My story is that I used to be really skinny in my twenties. I remember some moron actually told me that I was "Asian Skinny" but it did not look good on me since I was dark (I do not even know how to begin to parse all the racism in that statement)).

Cynthia probably was effortlessly "model thin" for most of her life. When I was skinnier I could pull off more types of looks. I have only gained 20 pounds from when I was younger but because many people were used to me being so skinny, they act like I am about 100 pounds overweight. I am also short so that does not help the weight distribution.

Porsha has also gone through a body transformation from her first season but seems just as confident now as before. I have also had a couple of Cesareans and know how hard it is to get your body back (exercise can aggravate your stitches).

Kenya does work hard on her body, but her fake booty always looks kind of strange. She definitely did not have that backside when she won Miss USA.

I guess the ideal for a lot of people is to have a thin and fit body like Monique from Potomac. Monique also always seems to snap back pretty quickly after a pregnancy.

I do like how the Atlanta ladies embrace their bodies at any size and confidence is always attractive.

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WHAT is up with these women rushing relationships?? MAKES NO SENSE rushing along while in the infatuation phase. KNOW who the person is when it gets tough before getting serious. DUH! Now look where they are... DISASTROUS RELATIONSHIPS & you're tied to them FOREVER!! When will they ever learn to stop being so stupid?? 😂😂 More #CAUTIONARYTALES

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5 minutes ago, Lindz said:

WHAT is up with these women rushing relationships?? MAKES NO SENSE rushing along while in the infatuation phase. KNOW who the person is when it gets tough before getting serious. DUH! Now look where they are... DISASTROUS RELATIONSHIPS & you're tied to them FOREVER!! When will they ever learn to stop being so stupid?? 😂😂 More #CAUTIONARYTALES

I think it is because relationship drama keeps them on show with a story line. If the relationship blows up in their face...more howife money for them.

Seriously, why can't a woman as beautiful as Kenya find a man that is into her or at least pretends he is into her for the show?  I guess even for men, beauty is skin deep.

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Seriously, why can't a woman as beautiful as Kenya find a man that is into her or at least pretends he is into her for the show?

That would require them actually spending time with her.

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25 minutes ago, qtpye said:

Seriously, why can't a woman as beautiful as Kenya find a man that is into her or at least pretends he is into her for the show?  I guess even for men, beauty is skin deep.

There's a saying that for every attractive person, there's someone who is sick of their shit. I don't think Kenya has issues attracting men; she's beautiful. But I do think she is, at the core, not a nice person, and people notice that. Like to me, Kandi seems like a warm person. Kenya doesn't and never has.

30 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I think it is because relationship drama keeps them on show with a story line. If the relationship blows up in their face...more howife money for them.

Also re: Kenya, she's pushing 50 and wanted a kid, and the biological clock is real. I've known women to make similar choices.

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34 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I think it is because relationship drama keeps them on show with a story line. If the relationship blows up in their face...more howife money for them.

I think it isn't about the show, initially. They're just that dumb & get caught up. I guess they don't know they don't have the time to waste & keep riding it out hoping it'd get back to the way it was, while playing it up for the camera.

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7 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

There's a saying that for every attractive person, there's someone who is sick of their shit. I don't think Kenya has issues attracting men; she's beautiful. But I do think she is, at the core, not a nice person, and people notice that. Like to me, Kandi seems like a warm person. Kenya doesn't and never has.

Also re: Kenya, she's pushing 50 and wanted a kid, and the biological clock is real. I've known women to make similar choices.

It's funny, women put so much pressure on themselves to be physical stunning to attract a man but having a warm caring heart is not something that can be replaced. Men like women who make them feel like heroes and Kenya is probably too Alpha to do that.

I do not think a woman needs a man to feel complete but Kenya always seems extra thirsty around her men.

I feel like Marc can barely stand her and would not care if he never saw her again, as long as he gets to see his baby. It almost feels like they had a business agreement and now he wants to get paid and leave.

Edited by qtpye
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3 hours ago, qtpye said:

I agree that everyone has a right to their opinion and there is no point to watching a howives show without snark. As long as we can discuss it intelligently among ourselves and I feel like we are doing on this board, so Bravo to all of you.

That being said, when I first saw Cynthia I really thought she was one of the most beautiful women I have seen in my life. I still think she is beautiful but do not think she always dresses appropriately for her new curvier and thicker body.

My story is that I used to be really skinny in my twenties. I remember some moron actually told me that I was "Asian Skinny" but it did not look good on me since I was dark (I do not even know how to begin to parse all the racism in that statement)).

Cynthia probably was effortlessly "model thin" for most of her life. When I was skinnier I could pull off more types of looks. I have only gained 20 pounds from when I was younger but because many people were used to me being so skinny, they act like I am about 100 pounds overweight. I am also short so that does not help the weight distribution.

Porsha has also gone through a body transformation from her first season but seems just as confident now as before. I have also had a couple of Cesareans and know how hard it is to get your body back (exercise can aggravate your stitches).

Kenya does work hard on her body, but her fake booty always looks kind of strange. She definitely did not have that backside when she won Miss USA.

I guess the ideal for a lot of people is to have a thin and fit body like Monique from Potomac. Monique also always seems to snap back pretty quickly after a pregnancy.

I do like how the Atlanta ladies embrace their bodies at any size and confidence is always attractive.

Thank you!  I think we all have our body stories to tell, and I can’t think of a single woman I have known whose body has always been the same way.

I just think it’s human nature to notice when someone has gained or lost weight.  It’s not a value judgment.  It worries me more when people flat-out deny obvious weight changes.  It makes it seem like it’s a crime to be fat, when I don’t see it that way.

I’m not saying fat is the same as thin—thin is the preferred look in society, and there are more health concerns when someone is carrying too much weight on their frame, but I’m not concerned about their health very much, so I’d be a hypocrite to say that I point out weight loss/gain for anything other than aesthetic reasons.  

You are right that Monique pretty much has the ultimate body, and she is thin.  (Yet, her mother-in-law called her a heifer and it was a huge part of her storyline!)

I’m not saying it’s easy to be thin, especially after pregnancy, and that’s probably why every woman on the show gained weight since she first started.  It’s not that big of a deal.  It’s not that big of a deal to lose either.  I read an article that said Cynthia was going to go on a mega-keto diet to be thin for the reunion.  I don’t care if she does or doesn’t do that, but she can get on an elliptical machine a few times a week and skip dessert—they all can.  If they don’t want to, I don’t care, but I have no idea why pointing it out would be worse than saying Nene has chicklet teeth or Kenya has bad skin.  Weight is more controllable that cystic acne or acne scars.  

I guess I wonder why weight gain is like a third rail.  We can mention everything, but not that?  So thanks for being so honest.  I guess if I have much more to say, I’ll bring it to Small Talk.  

Edited by LibertarianSlut
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I guess I'll address the elephant in the room (no pun intended). Most black women have no desire to be rail thin. Especially in the south. Our men generally like us thick and curvy and we (general we) have never been beholden to the predominant Euro standard of weight. 

Yes they've all gained weight. And also yes, they're all still confident and meh about it (except maybe Cynthia, who worked in a eurocentric industry for years) and that's because our community supports us and finds beauty in us even when we look like "heifers."

I watch OC and there was a scene with a hw who's a very pretty attorney. She was on the scale crying because she had put on weight. You will never see a scene like that on RHOA. We just don't have that level of insecurity. Thank goodness.

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22 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Thank you!  I think we all have our body stories to tell, and I can’t think of a single woman I have known whose body has always been the same way.

I just think it’s human nature to notice when someone has gained or lost weight.  It’s not a value judgment.  It worries me more when people flat-out deny obvious weight changes.  It makes it seem like it’s a crime to be fat, when I don’t see it that way.

I’m not saying fat is the same as thin—thin is the preferred look in society, and there are more health concerns when someone is carrying too much weight on their frame, but I’m not concerned about their health very much, so I’d be a hypocrite to say that I point out weight loss/gain for anything other than aesthetic reasons.  

You are right that Monique pretty much has the ultimate body, and she is thin.  (Yet, her mother-in-law called her a heifer and it was a huge part of her storyline!)

I’m not saying it’s easy to be thin, especially after pregnancy, and that’s probably why every woman on the show gained weight since she first started.  It’s not that big of a deal.  It’s not that big of a deal to lose either.  I read an article that said Cynthia was going to go on a mega-keto diet to be thin for the reunion.  I don’t care if she does or doesn’t do that, but she can get on an elliptical machine a few times a week and skip dessert—they all can.  If they don’t want to, I don’t care, but I have no idea why pointing it out would be worse than saying Nene has chicklet teeth or Kenya has bad skin.  Weight is more controllable that cystic acne or acne scars.  

I guess I wonder why weight gain is like a third rail.  We can mention everything, but not that?  So thanks for being so honest.  I guess if I have much more to say, I’ll bring it to Small Talk.  

 

I don't think I posited that the women were skinny or slim because that's not what I really think.  

I think they are normal/average/slightly smaller than average.  I think, for me, it's jarring and part of creating an unhealthy narrative to call women "waddling heifers" when they are pretty average/normal sized.  

Weight gain shouldn't be the third rail, but it becomes that way when people are "beautiful, but fat" but rarely "beautiful, but slim"....or when people lose weight and we tell them they look amazing but when they gain suddenly they don't look as amazing.  It does become a value judgment when we compare it to bad skin or chicklet teeth.  

I think society pushes women into these competitions based on weight and looks and it drives such extreme and unsafe behavior.  

Im not entirely sure that weight is always as controllable as that, there is some evidence to the contrary.  And I, for sure think it's even more of a struggle past a certain age, based on my experience.  For me, cystic acne was easier to manage.  

I feel that society has been pervasive in spreading these norms and I think, to some degree it's all in the name of capitalism since half the commercials on TV are for fast food/junk food and the other half are for diet plans/gyms/workout equipment.  

Edited by RealReality
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38 minutes ago, RealReality said:

 

I don't think I posited that the women were skinny or slim because that's not what I really think.  

I think they are normal/average/slightly smaller than average.  I think, for me, it's jarring and part of creating an unhealthy narrative to call women "waddling heifers" when they are pretty average/normal sized.  

Weight gain shouldn't be the third rail, but it becomes that way when people are "beautiful, but fat" but rarely "beautiful, but slim"....or when people lose weight and we tell them they look amazing but when they gain suddenly they don't look as amazing.  It does become a value judgment when we compare it to bad skin or chicklet teeth.  

I think society pushes women into these competitions based on weight and looks and it drives such extreme and unsafe behavior.  

Im not entirely sure that weight is always as controllable as that, there is some evidence to the contrary.  And I, for sure think it's even more of a struggle past a certain age, based on my experience.  For me, cystic acne was easier to manage.  

I feel that society has been pervasive in spreading these norms and I think, to some degree it's all in the name of capitalism since half the commercials on TV are for fast food/junk food and the other half are for diet plans/gyms/workout equipment.  

So...there’s a thread to discuss Demetria, but not a Small Talk.  I just thought that was funny enough to point out.

 I don’t think you said they were skinny.  To be honest, I don’t keep track of who posts what.  I just read and respond to the conversation for the most part.  

I wouldn’t call them “waddling heifers” either, but I do think it’s curious that people have been calling Nene a moose for going on a decade now, and no one says boo.  Is it ok to make fun of someone’s weight if they have a bad personality?  That’s just a question I’m putting out there in general, because it happens across the franchises, and I’m not sure why.

(I do think certain terms get used more and are objected to more because of the way they sound.  “Heifer” sounds like “hefty,” so it’s worse than saying “cow.”  I also think people object to the term “obese”—which is a medical term, and not a matter of opinion— because it sounds like “a beast.”  “Obese” is not that even that big, but the word sounds horrible!  And I’m not saying any of these women are obese, just for the record).

I think it’s totally valid to say “beautiful, but fat,” and not “beautiful, but skinny” because skinny/thin/lean/slim—whatever word is comfortable—is generally considered the standard of beauty.  If a woman is totally underweight, someone might say, “beautiful, but she looks like a skeleton.”  So anything that falls outside of the norm gets modified.  I think that’s ok. As far as Cynthia, I would call her “big and beautiful.”  She’s not fat, but she’s big, and I think that’s fine.  I love a plus-sized model.  I just think it’s self-defeating to pretend a plus-sized model is a regular model.  

As far as average—“average” doesn’t mean “healthy.”  I think I read the average size of an American woman is a 12, and the average height is 5’4”.  That’s not ideal.  The average amount of cigarettes smoked per day per capita in the USA in 1930 was probably much higher than ideal (ideal being zero).  If we are becoming fatter as a country, that doesn’t make it more ok to be overweight/obese from a health perspective.  

I don’t care what they eat or do.  My original point was not that we shouldn’t make fun of Kenya’s bad skin or Porsha’s Arsenio chin.  My original point was that it should all be fair game, because their appearances are part of the show, and the whole enchilada is up for discussion, as far as I’m concerned.  

I don’t know if I know a woman who doesn’t struggle with her weight in some, way, shape or form—and men too, if I’m being honest—and I’m compassionate to that cause.  I have had someone call me fat just to be mean when I was technically underweight, and it does sting.  I think it’s different to mention it on a message board than to say it to someone’s face, or to mutual friends.  

I also think that, while fat isn’t great—and I’m not saying any of these women are fat, because I don’t think they are—it’s marvelous to live in a country and a time when we are over fed and have to work hard not to eat too much, as opposed to starving.  Who could have envisioned that luxury 200 years ago?  

 

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39 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

So...there’s a thread to discuss Demetria, but not a Small Talk.  I just thought that was funny enough to point out.

 I don’t think you said they were skinny.  To be honest, I don’t keep track of who posts what.  I just read and respond to the conversation for the most part.  

I wouldn’t call them “waddling heifers” either, but I do think it’s curious that people have been calling Nene a moose for going on a decade now, and no one says boo.  Is it ok to make fun of someone’s weight if they have a bad personality?  That’s just a question I’m putting out there in general, because it happens across the franchises, and I’m not sure why.

(I do think certain terms get used more and are objected to more because of the way they sound.  “Heifer” sounds like “hefty,” so it’s worse than saying “cow.”  I also think people object to the term “obese”—which is a medical term, and not a matter of opinion— because it sounds like “a beast.”  “Obese” is not that even that big, but the word sounds horrible!  And I’m not saying any of these women are obese, just for the record).

I think it’s totally valid to say “beautiful, but fat,” and not “beautiful, but skinny” because skinny/thin/lean/slim—whatever word is comfortable—is generally considered the standard of beauty.  If a woman is totally underweight, someone might say, “beautiful, but she looks like a skeleton.”  So anything that falls outside of the norm gets modified.  I think that’s ok. As far as Cynthia, I would call her “big and beautiful.”  She’s not fat, but she’s big, and I think that’s fine.  I love a plus-sized model.  I just think it’s self-defeating to pretend a plus-sized model is a regular model.  

As far as average—“average” doesn’t mean “healthy.”  I think I read the average size of an American woman is a 12, and the average height is 5’4”.  That’s not ideal.  The average amount of cigarettes smoked per day per capita in the USA in 1930 was probably much higher than ideal (ideal being zero).  If we are becoming fatter as a country, that doesn’t make it more ok to be overweight/obese from a health perspective.  

I don’t care what they eat or do.  My original point was not that we shouldn’t make fun of Kenya’s bad skin or Porsha’s Arsenio chin.  My original point was that it should all be fair game, because their appearances are part of the show, and the whole enchilada is up for discussion, as far as I’m concerned.  

I don’t know if I know a woman who doesn’t struggle with her weight in some, way, shape or form—and men too, if I’m being honest—and I’m compassionate to that cause.  I have had someone call me fat just to be mean when I was technically underweight, and it does sting.  I think it’s different to mention it on a message board than to say it to someone’s face, or to mutual friends.  

I also think that, while fat isn’t great—and I’m not saying any of these women are fat, because I don’t think they are—it’s marvelous to live in a country and a time when we are over fed and have to work hard not to eat too much, as opposed to starving.  Who could have envisioned that luxury 200 years ago?  

 

Unless someone is morbidly obese or skeletal I think it's hard to make a general statement about their health based on size.  

I remember listening to stories about what Kelly clarkson did in the American idol days to maintain her weight and that wasn't healthy.  She is larger now, probably over a size 12, but likely healthier. 

I watched a documentary on kpop stars and the extreme dieting they go through to maintain an ideal size that would be defined as "fit" and there are the stories of pageant queens eating cotton balls to maintain a body image that society would define as "ideal"

This is only to say that unless extreme or clearly fit, an "average" body type may not say much about health.  The fact that most people settle into a particular body size and would have to put in significant effort to attain a different body type may say something.  

Appearance is fair game, I totally agree, so I don't mean to be the snark police, because I do love the snark....and I equally really enjoy the thought provoking conversation. 

I think the conversations around body image are not fun but are important because I think it feeds into a larger discussion of how people (particularly women) relate to each other and the way that society pits women against one another.  

And it's entirely possible that any snark based on physical appearance is part of that....in which case, I am also an offender.  

And yes, it's fantastic to live in these modern times where not only will I not die or famine, but I can choose from like 10 different types of apples!

ETA: thank you all for your indulgence, I'll try to shut the heck up about this topic now!

Edited by RealReality
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On 12/28/2019 at 4:53 PM, nytonc said:

I tuned in to this show after not watching for a few years. When did Nene become so vile? I always thought she was such a strong, smart, badass woman. The type of woman I hoped my daughters would grow up to be. Not any more! I don’t know how the other women can stand being around her. I think Kandi looks better than ever!

Since forever. When did you start watching the show?? LOL. And this season is one of Nene’s calmer, more classy seasons. 

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Are we really still on this fat thing 3 pages later? Lol. Who cares what somebody else’s ideal body image is and who cares what’s average? It’s about your own ideals. I’ve got mine, everyone’s got theirs. I don’t care if most people consider me thin and I don’t care if I’m not considered overweight for my height, it’s about what I’m happy with and I wanna lose weight and that’s my choice. i think most people are the same, it’s all about the weight we are happy with on ourselves. 

i couldn’t care less what other people weigh, though. It’s their body, not mine. 
 

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On 12/31/2019 at 12:31 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

So...there’s a thread to discuss Demetria, but not a Small Talk.  I just thought that was funny enough to point out.

 I don’t think you said they were skinny.  To be honest, I don’t keep track of who posts what.  I just read and respond to the conversation for the most part.  

I wouldn’t call them “waddling heifers” either, but I do think it’s curious that people have been calling Nene a moose for going on a decade now, and no one says boo.  Is it ok to make fun of someone’s weight if they have a bad personality?  That’s just a question I’m putting out there in general, because it happens across the franchises, and I’m not sure why.

(I do think certain terms get used more and are objected to more because of the way they sound.  “Heifer” sounds like “hefty,” so it’s worse than saying “cow.”  I also think people object to the term “obese”—which is a medical term, and not a matter of opinion— because it sounds like “a beast.”  “Obese” is not that even that big, but the word sounds horrible!  And I’m not saying any of these women are obese, just for the record).

I think it’s totally valid to say “beautiful, but fat,” and not “beautiful, but skinny” because skinny/thin/lean/slim—whatever word is comfortable—is generally considered the standard of beauty.  If a woman is totally underweight, someone might say, “beautiful, but she looks like a skeleton.”  So anything that falls outside of the norm gets modified.  I think that’s ok. As far as Cynthia, I would call her “big and beautiful.”  She’s not fat, but she’s big, and I think that’s fine.  I love a plus-sized model.  I just think it’s self-defeating to pretend a plus-sized model is a regular model.  

As far as average—“average” doesn’t mean “healthy.”  I think I read the average size of an American woman is a 12, and the average height is 5’4”.  That’s not ideal.  The average amount of cigarettes smoked per day per capita in the USA in 1930 was probably much higher than ideal (ideal being zero).  If we are becoming fatter as a country, that doesn’t make it more ok to be overweight/obese from a health perspective.  

I don’t care what they eat or do.  My original point was not that we shouldn’t make fun of Kenya’s bad skin or Porsha’s Arsenio chin.  My original point was that it should all be fair game, because their appearances are part of the show, and the whole enchilada is up for discussion, as far as I’m concerned.  

I don’t know if I know a woman who doesn’t struggle with her weight in some, way, shape or form—and men too, if I’m being honest—and I’m compassionate to that cause.  I have had someone call me fat just to be mean when I was technically underweight, and it does sting.  I think it’s different to mention it on a message board than to say it to someone’s face, or to mutual friends.  

I also think that, while fat isn’t great—and I’m not saying any of these women are fat, because I don’t think they are—it’s marvelous to live in a country and a time when we are over fed and have to work hard not to eat too much, as opposed to starving.  Who could have envisioned that luxury 200 years ago?  

 

Nene is not called moose because she's fat. She is statuesque and she uses her physical form when raging and charging at people. 

5'4" and size 12 sounds like heaven to me. But you have to consider stature. I'm thinking of some the small Salvadoran or Asian ladies I see shopping. Even if they are huge, their clothing size is small due to their small stature. 

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On 12/23/2019 at 1:29 PM, Sheenieb said:

Cynthia may have known a proposal was coming, but she didn't know when.  Staying on Cynthia for a bit, the wiggy looking wig and the billowy dress at the party was not it. I don't know if it's extreme contouring, or as another poster upthread wrote, the heavy eyelashes, but Cynthia looks pinched.

 

I'm with you.  Cynthia is such a natural beauty and yet to me, she's aged the worst.  I don't know if it is fillers that is doing it, but she is starting to have a really masculine look to me with heavy makeup.

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45 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

I'm with you.  Cynthia is such a natural beauty and yet to me, she's aged the worst.  I don't know if it is fillers that is doing it, but she is starting to have a really masculine look to me with heavy makeup.

Yup, I was watching it with someone who hasn’t seen the show in a while....she was shocked at how good Kandi looked compared to her first seasons and how horrible Cynthia has aged.

I imagine for a while Cynthia just looked effortlessly beautiful in most anything she wore and might never had to dress with any real care.

Its not that she looks bad but that her styling choices leave much to be desired.

Edited by qtpye
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On 12/23/2019 at 1:55 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

I want to chime in to the chorus of how beautiful Kenya is.  When she and Porsha came on the show in season five, there was no contest between them to my mind (I don't think Porsha's that pretty).  I also like that Kenya's beauty is unique.  Very few people look like her.  Opposite of generic.  She is also very smart and poised.  Aside from Claudia Jordan, who came on for one season, said everything to Nene's face that everyone had been saying behind her back, who will always be my favorite, I am always theoretically looking to be on Kenya's side (except for the very beginning, when it looked like she was trying to come for Phaedra's marriage.  I don't care that she didn't technically want to fuck Apollo.  She knew she was more attractive than Phaedra, and relentlessly flirted with Phaedra's husband, which is dirty pool in my mind.  It's almost more insulting that she didn't want to fuck him, because now we know the flirting was just a big "fuck you" to Phaedra, who started off as Kenya's friend).

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I have a soft spot in my heart for Kenya, and I would love to take her side.  I took her side with telling Porsha about Dennis not having sex with that woman and her feelings about Eva not wanting her children around Kenya earlier this season.  Unfortunately, her behavior as of late--ruining Marlo's party and ruining Cynthia/Mike's surprise--is just kind of indefensible, and I don't even like Cynthia or Mike.

At the dinner, though, Marc (whom I loathe) reversed himself.  First he said that any talk of a prenup would ruin things.  Then he said the oft-previewed line of "I told her she can take it all.  I'll build it back again from scratch."  Erm...sounds a little bit like you were in a prenup conversation there, buddy.  Even if you were against It, you were still talking about it, which you said you wouldn't/couldn't do.  

I just have to stick up for Kenya in a small way, because her husband sucks so much--I don't think Kenya is or is going to be a selfish mother.  I don't think she resents her daughter.  I think she resents Marc for putting their daughter heads and tails above her.  If I had a child, I would still put my husband above my child in the hierarchy of things.  A lot of people say that they put God first, then their spouse, then their children.  I tend to think things flow better that way when children are being raised by two parents who are in madly in love.  And it's like Marc is purposely denying that to her.  He's not some good guy who fell out of love.  He bit off more than he can chew, and he's making Kenya pay for it.  Divorce him!

Marc obviously is done with Kenya.  He sees her making him such a bad guy on television.  He called her out on her shit.  He’s discovered who Kenya is and he got his chance to reveal it.  Good for him.  She always thinks she’s the queen in life.  She is pretty, but with her bad skin and bad attitude, no way is she more beautiful than Porsha.....and Porsha is fun to watch and doesn’t plan out ways to hurt others.  I kinda enjoyed Marc giving us the scoop.   Where is Kenya getting all her money?  And she does not need a Bentley.  I caught a side of Kenya that turned me off.  When she was talking to Kandi, twice Kandi tried to hug her and Kenya balked....eventually walking out of the room and leaving Kandi to sit alone. Kenya called Kandi over and she dropped everything to go.  She is a player.  That’s it.

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