S01.E10: Ice Cream for Breakfast

[jewel21]

Quote

Bob must gain the confidence to fight for Abishola when she goes on another date with Chukwuemeka. Also, Uncle Tunde finds an unlikely friend in Dottie in the aftermath of his fight with Auntie Olu.

Airdate: 12/09/2019

[shapeshifter]

I can't imagine how the episode title relates to the episode description,
but then I had ice cream for breakfast yesterday for migraine --spoonfuls melted on the roof of the mouth in hopes of avoiding prescription meds,
so I'm not the one to pass judgement on odd uses of ice cream.

Maybe in the show ice cream is

1. an antidepressant?
2. or an aphrodisiac?
3. or a cross-cultural touchstone?
4. or the electricity running the freezer is off for more than 6 hours?

Edited December 7, 2019 by shapeshifter

[jewel21]

I just assumed without Auntie Olu around, Tunde could do whatever he wants, including eating ice cream for breakfast without repercussions. 

[floridamom]

Sorry, I can't understand why Bob would still want to be 'fighting' for Abishola. She has clearly told him that they are too different for one another. Also, she is still legally married. That could get in the way of things. Just not convincing for me. There are other middle aged available women out there in a large city who would have more in common with him AND perhaps be interested in a relationship. Abishola is too busy for Bob also.

[shapeshifter]

As for this:

3 hours ago, floridamom said:

There are other middle aged available women out there in a large city who would have more in common with him

In one episode Bob stated that his first wife and he were very similar and now he wanted the opposite.

I can accept that Bob is infatuated with Abishola's voice (and with her) the way a baby gosling forms an attachment with the first creature it sees upon hatching, because Bob came out of life-saving, emergency heart surgery to the sound of Abishola singing. Also, as a white male of financial means that at least give him security and comfort, I can imagine that he has no experience with letting go of a fantasy until it becomes completely unattainable. What is unrealistic to me is that a man in that position has not become more controlling than he is. I suppose his experience with his siblings and his failed attempts to steer them into sensible directions have long since tamed any inclination that Bob would have towards bullying. 

[Keywestclubkid]

I liked it ...had a couple of actual laugh out loud moments 

[Browncoat]

I liked it, too.  I loved Dottie beating the crap out of Tunde at gin.

And of course, I loved Abishola bringing Bob his breakfast.

[jewel21]

I liked Dottie and Tunde hanging out and playing cards. I also enjoyed Dottie mediating between Tunde and Olu. Olu's comment about wanting to win back some of the money Tunde lost made me laugh. 

I loved Abisohola's look back at Bob after handing him the ice cream and walking away. 

[topanga]

2 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

I liked it ...had a couple of actual laugh out loud moments 

I laughed at Bob crumbling his brother’s muffin. The 2.99 muffin. 

[AnimeMania]

How many popcorn shrimp are too many popcorn shrimp? I am sure somebody has counted.

[threebluestars]

"Give him a pep talk!"
"He is a white man with money, God already gave him a pep talk."

Tunde gets a lot of good lines lol.

[Brian Cronin]

It's funny, for a dude who became famous for his cynical sitcoms (like Two and a Half Men), Chuck Lorre sure does co-create a lot of adorable sitcoms, as well. 

This show is pretty damn grin-inducing. It's not really all that funny, but the characters are endearing as fuck and the bit with the ice cream at the end was ay-dor-able. 

[Harvey]

The moment when Abishola gave Bob the ice cream and then looked back at him from the hall melted my heart. Scenes with just the 2 of them are the highlight of the show. I wish we got more.

[Yeah No]

This episode had me at "I'd take him twice a day on an empty stomach!"  😂

[MarthaEllisanne]

On 12/8/2019 at 5:36 AM, floridamom said:

Sorry, I can't understand why Bob would still want to be 'fighting' for Abishola.

The heart wants what it wants.  Abishola has such a peaceful presence about her - I can see why Bob is attracted to her with all the chaos in his life.  I'd want her to be my nurse if I were sick. I am in the Boomer group (Okay, Boomer) and I appreciate an adult comedy without a lot of smart-mouthed kids and characters who shout every line (I'm looking at you, Goldbergs). These are my people.

[mammaM]

While I still wish tptb would address the problem with Dottie, I gotta admit Tunde, Olu & Dottie are hysterical. I want them to live together and have a never-ending gin game. Or get a fourth and play bridge😂 

[possibilities]

I really do want to know whether Dottie is  using marked cards.

[shapeshifter]

5 minutes ago, possibilities said:

I really do want to know whether Dottie is  using marked cards.

If she is, I trust Auntie Obula will figure it out pretty quickly.
Ideally Auntie will figure out Dottie's card marking symbolism right away and win back all the money without anyone discussing the markings beyond a wink wink quip at the end.

[Boofish]

Bob's mother will always be a racist asshole in my eyes. Not sure how they could ever change my mind. Not even her being nice to my favorite Uncle Tunde.

[Harvey]

Just now, Boofish said:

Bob's mother will always be a racist asshole in my eyes. Not sure how they could ever change my mind. Not even her being nice to my favorite Uncle Tunde.

You need to let people grow. And that happens like this, getting to know more people of a different race and seeing they are just like you and me. Not judging and condemning them for their mistakes even long after they have apologized for them.

[jewel21]

I don't feel like dredging up the whole racist thing again, but I got the impression Dottie was referring to immigrants as "you people taking our jobs" and not people of colour. Unless I'm remembering what she said incorrectly. I'm going from memory, here. Especially considering the title card at the end of every episode. And Dottie admitted she was wrong and it was a hurtful thing to say.  The show has moved on from this and I am, too. 

[Keywestclubkid]

1 hour ago, possibilities said:

I really do want to know whether Dottie is  using marked cards.

I dont think she was I think he was just that bad at cards 

[Boofish]

32 minutes ago, Harvey said:

You need to let people grow. And that happens like this, getting to know more people of a different race and seeing they are just like you and me. Not judging and condemning them for their mistakes even long after they have apologized for them.

Right now that is not my narrative 

[VanillaBeanne]

18 hours ago, Brian Cronin said:

This show is pretty damn grin-inducing. It's not really all that funny, but the characters are endearing as fuck and the bit with the ice cream at the end was ay-dor-able. 

I didn't find this episode as funny as previous ones but this was the first episode in which i did find everyone likeable. I don't think B&A is as great as Chuck Lorre's Mom, which is firing on all cylinders now, but I have high hopes B&A will get there. And  frankly I am more excited about Bob & Abishola then Mom because Mom has a focus on addiction/sobriety.  I am very fortunate that i have not had to yet deal with  addiction up close, whereas I am a first generation American, so B&A is more up my alley.  (As a related aside, I realized when i was 30 that all but three of my friends were also first generation American.  It's not something I intended since these other friends are asian, afro-caribbean, latin, portuguese  and my parents are from Africa (and yeah, my grandma could carry stuff on her head but my family was farm folk).  But we all have very similar stories about being American when you also have another culture at home, and I think that's why I gravitate towards them.)

Love the discussion and diverse perspectives this show provokes on this board, BTW.  

Edited December 11, 2019 by VanillaBeanne

[possibilities]

Anti-immigrant sentiment is always racist. You never hear it expressed toward white Norwegians, white British, etc.

[TheLotusFlower]

8 hours ago, jewel21 said:

I don't feel like dredging up the whole racist thing again, but I got the impression Dottie was referring to immigrants as "you people taking our jobs" and not people of colour. Unless I'm remembering what she said incorrectly. I'm going from memory, here. Especially considering the title card at the end of every episode. And Dottie admitted she was wrong and it was a hurtful thing to say.  The show has moved on from this and I am, too. 

Racism and anti-immigrant bigotry are  not mutually exclusive.  In fact, they often go hand in hand.

[TheLotusFlower]

7 hours ago, Boofish said:

Right now that is not my narrative 

You have every right to your views about Dottie, and I completely agree with you.  Honestly, some of the comments on here that essentially say, "She apologized, so get over it" are not far off from the way some people treat these issues in real life.  They think we're just supposed to be grateful if some ignorant bigot issues a tired apology and starts to tolerate the presence of a couple of Black people.  I don't think so.  I adore Bob and Abishola together, but quite frankly I'm sick of seeing Dottie.  They refuse to address what she did, and they're trying to push the narrative that they're now all one big happy family.  If they didn't want to fully address the issue, then they never should have kept her tirade in the show.  At this point, the way they've handled it (or lack thereof) is insulting.

[Boofish]

40 minutes ago, TheLotusFlower said:

You have every right to your views about Dottie, and I completely agree with you.  Honestly, some of the comments on here that essentially say, "She apologized, so get over it" are not far off from the way some people treat these issues in real life.  They think we're just supposed to be grateful if some ignorant bigot issues a tired apology and starts to tolerate the presence of a couple of Black people.  I don't think so.  I adore Bob and Abishola together, but quite frankly I'm sick of seeing Dottie.  They refuse to address what she did, and they're trying to push the narrative that they're now all one big happy family.  If they didn't want to fully address the issue, then they never should have kept her tirade in the show.  At this point, the way they've handled it (or lack thereof) is insulting.

*insert 80s movie slow clap and standing ovation* I moved on because having been in Abishola shoes in real life with my inlaws there is no apology in this world that will suffice.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, TheLotusFlower said:

You have every right to your views about Dottie, and I completely agree with you.  Honestly, some of the comments on here that essentially say, "She apologized, so get over it" are not far off from the way some people treat these issues in real life.  They think we're just supposed to be grateful if some ignorant bigot issues a tired apology and starts to tolerate the presence of a couple of Black people.  I don't think so.  I adore Bob and Abishola together, but quite frankly I'm sick of seeing Dottie.  They refuse to address what she did, and they're trying to push the narrative that they're now all one big happy family.  If they didn't want to fully address the issue, then they never should have kept her tirade in the show.  At this point, the way they've handled it (or lack thereof) is insulting.

I agree with you 100%, but I also think that Dottie is growing and evolving and for that I practice a little more forgiveness.  If she were not showing those signs I might not feel that way, but she has not since her comment shown herself to be consistent with the person that originally uttered them.  I keep waiting, though, for the other shoe to drop with her and hope that one day the show will make her fully redeem herself by showing sincere remorse for her comments.  That not happening is still a problem, but there's also the issue of her having made them under extenuating circumstances.  I can remember yelling at my nurses and attendants to leave me the f@%k alone when they were fussing over me after surgery in the hospital.  I was first of all wacked out on medication, in horrible pain and nauseous to boot.  Later on I could hardly believe I was so nasty to them because it's so NOT like me to be that way with anyone, especially when they're only trying to help me.  I prefer to see Dottie as having been in that kind of condition and not in her right mind when she said what she said.  But then again I was sincerely sorry for how I acted and made sure to apologize profusely to everyone later on.  Dottie not going the extra mile to show remorse later on is still a problem, but I only had arm surgery, I didn't have a stroke, which can play games with a person's mind.  I don't doubt that she may have forgotten what she said by now.  I'm really not trying to be an apologist but I am sincerely trying to practice understanding, forgiveness and compassion for all involved and seeing people existing in a gray area instead of as all good or all evil.  People are rarely all bad and to begrudge and dismiss them completely even though they are showing signs of growth is IMO as bad or worse than than whatever offense they committed in the first place.

[TheLotusFlower]

29 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

 People are rarely all bad and to begrudge and dismiss them completely even though they are showing signs of growth is IMO as bad or worse than than whatever offense they committed in the first place.

I certainly respect your opinion, but we will have to agree to disagree on the bolded.  I don't believe that real growth happens as quickly as Dottie's supposed miraculous change of heart.  Especially not for someone her age.   Bob is 50, so that would likely make Dottie in her 70s.  Which means she has been harboring those thoughts for a very long time.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, I do not believe that the stroke made Dottie suddenly say disgusting racist things.  Being angry and cranky because you're in pain due to a medical issue may make you short tempered and mean with your caregivers, but it doesn't suddenly make a person start spewing racist garbage if those views weren't already inside you, stroke or no stroke.  Lastly, I don't believe that dismissing or removing toxic people from my life is the equivalent of whatever toxic behavior they exhibited.  In this particular case, I don't tolerate racist people in my personal space.  As soon as Dottie spewed her vitriol at me, I would have been done with her right then and there.  If she decided to become a decent human being after that, then good for her.  But I certainly wouldn't be around to see it, nor would I care anything about her supposed growth.  I know this is just a sitcom, but things like this happen more often than some people realize.  It might not be as blatant as what Dottie said, but little acts of demeaning and dehumanizing Black and Brown people happens in this country everyday.  Mind you, Dottie threw something on the floor and told Abishola to "fetch."  That is literally treating a human being like she's a dog.  So no, I don't view dismissing Dottie to be as bad or worse as the things she said to Abishola.  My parents taught my siblings and I to always know our worth and never tolerate anyone treating us as if we are less than them.  So there's no way in the world I would ever continue to deal with someone like Dottie.

[Yeah No]

46 minutes ago, TheLotusFlower said:

I certainly respect your opinion, but we will have to agree to disagree on the bolded.  I don't believe that real growth happens as quickly as Dottie's supposed miraculous change of heart.  Especially not for someone her age.   Bob is 50, so that would likely make Dottie in her 70s.  Which means she has been harboring those thoughts for a very long time.  I've said it before and I'll say it again, I do not believe that the stroke made Dottie suddenly say disgusting racist things.  Being angry and cranky because you're in pain due to a medical issue may make you short tempered and mean with your caregivers, but it doesn't suddenly make a person start spewing racist garbage if those views weren't already inside you, stroke or no stroke.  Lastly, I don't believe that dismissing or removing toxic people from my life is the equivalent of whatever toxic behavior they exhibited.  In this particular case, I don't tolerate racist people in my personal space.  As soon as Dottie spewed her vitriol at me, I would have been done with her right then and there.  If she decided to become a decent human being after that, then good for her.  But I certainly wouldn't be around to see it, nor would I care anything about her supposed growth.  I know this is just a sitcom, but things like this happen more often than some people realize.  It might not be as blatant as what Dottie said, but little acts of demeaning and dehumanizing Black and Brown people happens in this country everyday.  Mind you, Dottie threw something on the floor and told Abishola to "fetch."  That is literally treating a human being like she's a dog.  So no, I don't view dismissing Dottie to be as bad or worse as the things she said to Abishola.  My parents taught my siblings and I to always know our worth and never tolerate anyone treating us as if we are less than them.  So there's no way in the world I would ever continue to deal with someone like Dottie.

I can certainly understand your feelings on this.  I try to practice my Christian faith in matters like this with regard to forgiveness.  I grew up in a very diverse environment racially and ethnically speaking and I know that most people on the planet have at times been ethnically and racially prejudiced, some worse than others.  I have even been on the receiving end of ethnic/cultural prejudice to some degree and could well take that with me to the grave and perpetuate the hate, but where would it get me or the people that hurt me for that matter?  I believe that hate only begets hate so I have to break the cycle of hate in order to heal and to truly promote acceptance by example.  So I try to be forgiving of a lot of gray area in these matters, even when it's hard to do so (and it can be very hard, I know!).  I am especially forgiving of older people that didn't grow up in a culture that encouraged viewing other races as their equals.  You're right that old habits are hard to break even if they themselves are showing signs of taking people as equal individuals and not treating them as less than them.  I have older friends that are openly prejudiced to a more-or-less mild degree, and have spoken out to them about how I feel about it, risking losing their friendship, but I will not turn my backs on them.  To me that only perpetuates the hate.  I try to live my life by example where walking the walk is more important than talking the talk.  YMMV.  Peace to you!

Edited December 11, 2019 by Yeah No

[wendyg]

possibilties: anyone who's been through recent years of British politics can tell you that anti-immigration sentiment can be and is directed at white people, too! At one time in the US it was the Irish and Italians...and the Polish...and...Jews...and...

Moving back to the show, IJWTS that Barry Shebaka Henley's face is truly one of the great comedy faces. Where has he been until now?

[Keywestclubkid]

You guys do realize this isnt real life and is a sitcom right? time and the way people change dont act the same... IF she was such a raging Racist why would she be trying to push her son and Abishola togeather?Was she maybe scared and lashing out? Yes.. was she in pain and on drugs ....maybe...... Am i giving her a pass for what was said ..No ....However they obvi dont intend for her to stay in that mind set and are pushing her into seeing that her son really does care for this woman and maybe she hasnt been looking at things objectivly .... do and can people change? yes they do just cause this show is pushing that change faster doesnt mean its not real for this character .... Again these arnt real people this is all fiction ......I take more offence to people not being more upset with the sterotype of the two guys and how they have been portrayed as sneeky and underhanded in the way they are trying to worm their way into running the place and how their antics are played as laughs... Everyone walked out because they were treated like shit and yet they still are in a position to make decisions for the comp with no repercussions? Everyone just came back like no problem?  being shown they dont care about the employees and only about themselfs and what they can get out of it is funny and no one has a problem with that? is that not offensive?  .... 

Edited December 11, 2019 by Keywestclubkid

[shapeshifter]

I had ice cream for breakfast again this morning, and, no, that is not a euphemism. It was plain vanilla ice cream for my migraine —again, each spoonful melted on the roof of my mouth. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. 
Anyway. I may not be able to excuse a certain racist tropey tirade that was uttered on this show, but I can still enjoy Abishola claiming her agency, and I enjoyed Abishola using ice cream for breakfast as a romantic gesture understood by just the two of them outside either of their cultures’ known symbols, and how it demonstrates that people can make their own traditions. Of course, sometimes these breaks from cultural norms go astray —and then we read about them as weird news. But that’s not happening on this show. I hope. 

[jewel21]

We're veering off-topic again. So let's try to stick with what happened in this episode to these characters. Thank you.

[Deskisamess]

I liked this episode. The aunt and uncle are great, and his scenes with Mike's mom were gold. The scenes with Bob and Abishola were nicely done, and I look forward to their relationship moving ahead. There were several laugh-out-loud moments for my husband and me.

They need to lose the laugh-track, and the brother and sister need to be used as they were in this episode...one short scene. Too much of them, especially the sister, moves into parody land and isn't funny. Useless pot-heads indeed, they don't bring anything to the table.

I like seeing Dottie getting better after her stroke, and watching her old attitudes change. Her remarks during the worst of the stroke effects, imo, don't reflect her true self. People say and do horrible things under extreme duress, that may represent part of their true feelings, but rarely is that the whole of their opinions. Many people ARE teachable/changeable. I've seen this in my own family. 

[Ohwell]

I've tried watching this show a few times, but the LOUD, useless laugh track just turned me off.

[tennisgurl]

Abishola bringing Bob the ice cream for breakfast! My heart! That was so sweet, and the look she gave him as she walked away was so great, they really have done a great job at selling them as a great possible match, despite all of the differences. 

Dottie mediating between Tunde and Olu was one of the first times I have really liked her, and Tunde is hilarious, he has really become a favorite character in the last few episodes. "Cricket is a game of kings!" 

[Grundoon59]

I realize that these are two small points (especially compared to those being discussed up thread) but they irk me.  First generally love the opening credits  - they can be viewed as reflective of Detroit even though they are not specific locations BUT Detroit does not have a subway system.  Second I could have done without the swipe at the Detroit water system in this episode.  Detroit has a great system and in fact part of what caused the problem in Flint was their state imposed czar decided to disconnect from the greater Detroit system.  We have our problems but our water ain't one of them.  

Edited December 12, 2019 by Grundoon59
Bad grammar oops!

[Deskisamess]

I think the opening goes on about 6 seconds too long. I'm usually hitting the mute button.

[SnarkySheep]

Anyone else starting to feel like they are pushing the whole "Bob is fat and ugly" thing a bit too much? Yes, Billy Gardell is overweight, but not unusually so for today's people (and he's definitely lost a lot of weight since his Mike and Molly days); and while he's not what most people might consider jaw-droppingly attractive, he's also not Quasimodo in the bell tower. 

I get that it's likely become the writers' go-to for a quick easy laugh, but it's starting to grate. 

[Raja]

1 hour ago, SnarkySheep said:

Anyone else starting to feel like they are pushing the whole "Bob is fat and ugly" thing a bit too much? Yes, Billy Gardell is overweight, but not unusually so for today's people (and he's definitely lost a lot of weight since his Mike and Molly days); and while he's not what most people might consider jaw-droppingly attractive, he's also not Quasimodo in the bell tower. 

I get that it's likely become the writers' go-to for a quick easy laugh, but it's starting to grate. 

Well he is being compared to the gorgeous pharmacist Chukwuemeka

[Harvey]

22 hours ago, SnarkySheep said:

Anyone else starting to feel like they are pushing the whole "Bob is fat and ugly" thing a bit too much? Yes, Billy Gardell is overweight, but not unusually so for today's people (and he's definitely lost a lot of weight since his Mike and Molly days); and while he's not what most people might consider jaw-droppingly attractive, he's also not Quasimodo in the bell tower. 

I get that it's likely become the writers' go-to for a quick easy laugh, but it's starting to grate. 

I don't feel like they are pushing it too much at all.

The looks of a person are a huge deal when choosing a romantic partner.

It matters. A lot.

[Keywestclubkid]

 

On 1/5/2020 at 5:25 PM, SnarkySheep said:

Anyone else starting to feel like they are pushing the whole "Bob is fat and ugly" thing a bit too much? Yes, Billy Gardell is overweight, but not unusually so for today's people (and he's definitely lost a lot of weight since his Mike and Molly days); and while he's not what most people might consider jaw-droppingly attractive, he's also not Quasimodo in the bell tower. 

I get that it's likely become the writers' go-to for a quick easy laugh, but it's starting to grate. 

I see what you are saying ... hes not an unatractive man... they did the same thing on Golden Girls with Bea.. and after a while she did end up having a problem with the constant shots at her being unattractive.... 

[SnarkySheep]

On 12/10/2019 at 8:46 PM, possibilities said:

Anti-immigrant sentiment is always racist. You never hear it expressed toward white Norwegians, white British, etc.

Actually, that's not true. I'm the daughter of Polish immigrants, living in an area with a large Polish immigrant population, and you wouldn't believe how many times I've heard stuff along the lines of "dumb Polacks". OT, I know, so I'll leave it there.