S07.E08: A Recipe for Disaster

[jumper sage]

On 11/26/2019 at 2:13 PM, psychoticstate said:

I wouldn't show up to meet my boss (Captain Lee) and the other deckhands with my headlights fully apparent.

I agree!

Am I too late for the betting pool?  I bet it is Rhylee is the one fired.

[Duke2801]

There’s no denying that Kevin can be a pompous ass with control issues. 

That said, I do think it was Rhylee who ignited the fracas at the table. She didn’t nicely or calmly ask for him to order something Paleo/Keto—she brought it up in an incendiary manner. As if he was an idiot for not reading her mind. Now, did he overreact? Yes, yes he did. But did he *start* the fued? In my opinion, no. 

Also, I’m pretty sure I remember someone at the table asking Rhylee if she actually was Paleo/Keto, and she said no, she just wanted it as an option. Which makes it an stupider hill for her to die on.

And the way she attacked Tanner was completely uncalled for as well. The girl definitely seems to have some legit anger issues. 

[Duke2801]

On 11/26/2019 at 2:36 PM, Mr. Miner said:

A very explicit recap.

https://www.thegoodteatime.com/single-post/2019/12/01/Below-Deck-Recap

Wow I have no recollection of Ashton sticking his tongue down Rhylee’s throat last season! 

Edited November 28, 2019 by Duke2801

[ghoulina]

21 hours ago, SweetieDarling said:

Agree, especially with the bolded. I knew it was too good. The crew (sans Kevin and Smashton) had a great vibe going. Everyone was getting along (except Kevin, and so far he's been semi-tolerable). Even Abbi wasn't that bad. If she had just tied her hair back and been more conscientious about her radio, without taking it so personally, she'd have worked out fine. Rhylee is one of those people that is ALWAYS on the defensive, looking for an excuse to perceive anything and everything as a personal attack, and then she goes ballistic. I wish they had brought Ross back instead.

Same. I actually prefer the show when the bulk of the conflict is with the guests and not amongst the crew themselves. I don't need co-workers fighting to enjoy the show. 

[The Ringo Kidd]

Who would have guessed that Captain Sandy was more of a man than the crusty Captain Cliche?

She stopped the guest over the top sexual harassment of Jack in a firm but jovial way without sweating the effect on their tip.

The principal on this cruise was a pussy and if Captain Cliche has told him to knock it off he would have folded like a cheap suitcase. But he doesn’t have any respect for himself as he let drunken slobs grab his ass so why would have any respect for his crew. He can just blame the victim to assuage what little conscience he might still retain.

A fish rots from it’s head and there is something very rotten on Valor.

[MJS]

3 hours ago, The Ringo Kidd said:

Who would have guessed that Captain Sandy was more of a man than the crusty Captain Cliche?

She stopped the guest over the top sexual harassment of Jack in a firm but jovial way without sweating the effect on their tip.

The principal on this cruise was a pussy and if Captain Cliche has told him to knock it off he would have folded like a cheap suitcase. But he doesn’t have any respect for himself as he let drunken slobs grab his ass so why would have any respect for his crew. He can just blame the victim to assuage what little conscience he might still retain.

A fish rots from it’s head and there is something very rotten on Valor.

Using “being a man” to represent strength and using gendered insults to diminish someone (calling him a pussy) is pretty sexist sounding. 

He can be called out for acting wrong without using sexist language, and without implying that doing the right thing is manly (being a man) but doing the wrong this is womanly (pussy). 

Edited November 29, 2019 by MJS

[Chalby]

On 11/26/2019 at 9:44 AM, RoxiP said:

Didn't the doctor get called for Ashton one time?  Or was that the bosun on BDM?  They all kind of start to blend together in my mind.

I think you are referring to Joao when everyone realized his fever wasn't breaking and he was very ill. But yes, Ashton, Kyle, Nico etc. have all experienced incidents where a doctor was needed. (And let's not forget Caroline's visits to an MD every time the boat needed to be turned over for new guests, lol!)

Edited November 29, 2019 by Chalby
Forgot to list Caroline

[Chalby]

20 hours ago, Duke2801 said:

There’s no denying that Kevin can be a pompous ass with control issues. 

Especially when he insists on serving the charter guests cow tongue for an entree. i am pretty sure my mother attempted to feed us kids this when she and dad were between cheques. However, Kevin is determined they will love this. Heh...

[Chalby]

20 hours ago, Duke2801 said:

Wow I have no recollection of Ashton sticking his tongue down Rhylee’s throat last season! 

He's so 'extra' with his preying upon potential bed partners that I cannot picture him ever married (or faithful if he does get married.) Too much of a pattern with that lad and his drinking.

[Chalby]

1 hour ago, MJS said:

Using “being a man” to represent strength and using gendered insults to diminish someone (calling him a pussy) is pretty sexist sounding.

Aww, if we can't snark (and use inappropriate gender comparisons/identifiers) here, then where can we? I truly understand what you are saying, and I agree with you. HOWEVER, I love this forum because I do not have to be politically correct, and no one usually calls me on it. After all, we all are simply enjoying the freedom to snark without having to explain whether our snark is appropriate or not.

[Chalby]

On 11/27/2019 at 11:49 AM, Nancybeth said:

Was it Below Deck or Below Deck: Med where there were some questionable charter guests in the past -- maybe a couple trying to proposition one of the stews? I didn't think the Chief Stew handled it well, but I felt like Kate did a little better this time around. That may have been Hannah though.

A guest and his wife were hitting on Jen nonstop. Katee gave her a rape whistler (as a joke. but then she ensured Jen wasn't let alone with them.

[Chalby]

On 11/26/2019 at 6:09 PM, pieinmyeye said:

 I would love to see Kate make your job difficult. I hope you go and take Ashton with you.

I would have clicked the heart icon, except for the inclusion of Ashton. I think Ashton is a great boatswain and doesn't need to be replaced at all.

[Chalby]

Surely Kevin's nonsense is scripted? I cannot imagine any breakfast service (or brunch?) that would require both interior and exterior stews. His treatment of the interior and exterior staff both offends and maddens me (while I am just a viewer) because I cannot fathom Kate's passive response with Kevin. For Kate NOT to go for Kevin's jugular, makes me doubt the sincerity of his words. I am hoping Kevin's past lip service results in more appropriate responses (for both of them). 

[Chalby]

On 11/26/2019 at 5:34 AM, terrymct said:

This had to be about the grossest bunch of guests yet....even beating out the ones who come hoping to promote dodgy businesses or launch ill advised rap careers. This is the worst of Frat "culture" that's been extended way, way, way past it's sell by date.  Grow the heck up, people.

Even though I despise political rants while watching my 'candy for the brain' shows, I can well imagine even Trump did not want this charter's guests declaring their loyalty to him.

[ghoulina]

8 hours ago, Chalby said:

A guest and his wife were hitting on Jen nonstop. Katee gave her a rape whistler (as a joke. but then she ensured Jen wasn't let alone with them.

Kate is very protective of her stews. 

It's easy to sit here and judge how to handle these situations when guests are crossing the line. But, realistically, I have no idea what I'd do. I get the complexities of it being a job and also being trapped on a boat with these people for 3 days. It's not black and white. 

But I do like how Kate handles it, by subtly removing the harassed person from the situation or making sure they're never left alone with said creep. 

[The Ringo Kidd]

I think Captain Sandy handled it perfectly. She intervened calmly and firmly and put a stop to it. She at least had her crews backside.....err....backs.  

[lilmarysunshine]

On 11/27/2019 at 1:13 PM, The Ringo Kidd said:

The Dud of the Seas really stepped in it on Twitter. He implied that Simone was partly at fault for the harassment because of the garter and that she should never have worn it. He got immediate pushback from Simone, Rhylee and even Abbi that he was blaming the victim. Doesn’t he know that it is not what a women wears that sets off a jerkoff like the primary? Does he want them to wear a burka? Way to support your crew there Chief.

Just another proof that Captain Crunch is a cliche spouting fraud.

Any middle-aged man in a position of leadership that talks about being pulled through a knot hole in a fence by his dick is seriously so UNprofessional. Particularly in front of "mixed" company.

Rhylee - cannot stand her. Damn. She looks OLD to me. Very unattractive and her personality worsens it.

[Jextella]

On 11/28/2019 at 3:33 AM, jumper sage said:

I agree!

Am I too late for the betting pool?  I bet it is Rhylee is the one fired.

Gawd.  I hope so.   She's a mess and her antics are boring.

I love "Dud of the Seas " for Captain Lee.  I know this may be unpopular, but I feel both he and Kate are overrated in their respective jobs.

[spunky]

On 11/28/2019 at 8:40 PM, The Ringo Kidd said:

Who would have guessed that Captain Sandy was more of a man than the crusty Captain Cliche?

She stopped the guest over the top sexual harassment of Jack in a firm but jovial way without sweating the effect on their tip.

The principal on this cruise was a pussy and if Captain Cliche has told him to knock it off he would have folded like a cheap suitcase. But he doesn’t have any respect for himself as he let drunken slobs grab his ass so why would have any respect for his crew. He can just blame the victim to assuage what little conscience he might still retain.

A fish rots from it’s head and there is something very rotten on Valor.

I was one of the people who complained about Captain Sandy being everywhere but the wheelhouse last season. That said she would have definitely checked the primary for his vile behavior towards Simone, and would not be all over Twitter blaming the victim. Captain Lee cares about himself and Kate, no one else.

[MajorNelson]

On 11/26/2019 at 6:38 AM, TexasGal said:

Kevin strikes me a giant nerd, and wants to have the cool deck guys like him.  If one of them were to say something to him about toning down his attitude with the stews it may go a long way.

Kevin dropped out of school at 14, and from that I think he has a case of arrested development.

[MajorNelson]

On 11/26/2019 at 7:24 AM, PaperTree said:

On 11/26/2019 at 5:19 AM, Chalby said:

Wasn't this the second doctor visit? I keep thinking it was already looked at...?

Tanner got a Doctor visit for his "sweet belly" I think he called it.

On 11/26/2019 at 8:34 AM, SweetieDarling said:

Is this a record for how many times the capt. has had to call a doctor? There was the crazy "panic attack" lady

I think the same doc who attended "panic attack" lady gave Tanner the injection.  I don't recall the sweet belly doctor.  Maybe 3 trips by 1 doc?

[MajorNelson]

What about Ryhlee getting no tip?  Not seen on the show, but SM has lots of discussion with Rhylee herself asking why not...

Seems out of the ordinary course of affairs to exclude, unless there is some yachtie rule that you have to be part of the crew at the beginning of a charter.

Edited November 30, 2019 by MajorNelson

[Baltimore Betty]

On 11/29/2019 at 6:49 PM, lilmarysunshine said:

Any middle-aged man in a position of leadership that talks about being pulled through a knot hole in a fence by his dick is seriously so UNprofessional. Particularly in front of "mixed" company.

Rhylee - cannot stand her. Damn. She looks OLD to me. Very unattractive and her personality worsens it.

I'd like to never see the cut off jeans again, that is how she shows up for her first day of work?Even though she had been there, done that, there are guests on board.

[Yours Truly]

On 11/26/2019 at 4:01 PM, newms said:

Shred them, Rhylee. I completely understand your anger all the time. Dealing with misogynist assholes is exhausting and this crew is full of them. The shit she must deal with her job infuriates me as a viewer. The “act like the bigger person” is bullshit. All that does is let the asshole get away with they’re behaviour. And they will steamroll over someone who reacts to their shit nicely. So again, shred them, Rhylee. So glad you’re back. 

Captain Lee should have stopped the primary from harassing Simone and dealt with Brian’s knee far earlier. He is not doing his job. 

I wish she wasn't so over the top but I agree with ALL OF THIS! 

I want to mention Rhylees tits being "out" and the concept of "mixed messages". A woman isn't giving off any messages because they've decided not to wear a bra. Is it my cup of tea? No. I cringed last season when she wore that sheer top and no bra but at the same time that doesn't give any man license to treat her any ole sort of way. This idea that men "have the right" to behave completely inappropriately or have inappropriate commentary because a woman isn't covering up or dressing in a manner that dictates she would like to be treated with respect is a very dangerous viewpoint. I may roll my eyes at the thirsty antics of attention seeking women but I will never subscribe to the practice of coming up with narratives that pretty much say that it's okay for a man to not know whether they should treat a woman properly because they are confused by the fact that she shows up wearing no bra. That's bullshit right there. What's so hard about treating a women wearing no bra the same way you would treat a women wearing a bra? I don't get this short circuit that happens with men when it comes to this sort of thing. Stop making it complicated cause it really isn't. 

Is it tacky and in poor taste and unprofessional? Well, sure but that doesn't automatically mean she deserves dressing down or to be harassed or to be subjected to extra sexual overtures. I mean if she's engaging in flirty behavior and it's mutual sure but I don't appreciate the negativity surrounding the simple fact that she goes braless. So what. Why are men so powerless to just brush it off without making such a big deal about it?

[Yours Truly]

On 11/27/2019 at 4:44 PM, SweetieDarling said:

Agree, especially with the bolded. I knew it was too good. The crew (sans Kevin and Smashton) had a great vibe going. Everyone was getting along (except Kevin, and so far he's been semi-tolerable). Even Abbi wasn't that bad. If she had just tied her hair back and been more conscientious about her radio, without taking it so personally, she'd have worked out fine. Rhylee is one of those people that is ALWAYS on the defensive, looking for an excuse to perceive anything and everything as a personal attack, and then she goes ballistic. I wish they had brought Ross back instead.

Thing is, it usually is because someone is a women. 

I used to be about not acting like everything is a slight and gender related. Then I realized (being in the military really opened my eyes) that it's about the amount of patience a man is willing to have with a women. It's also about how quick the condescention comes into play and it's also about the idea that it doesn't take much before a man "has had it" with a mouthy women and gives off the energy that it's time for the woman to "remember her place" and not to push it. It's the undertone that the men are extending a serious courtesy just allowing a woman to speak her mind but that that luxury should A) be recognized and appreciated and B) has it's limits. 

I realize that it's hard to distinguish that between normal tense interactions no matter what the gender but you can usually pick up on the misogyny. Unfortunately Rhylee also happens to be a hot head so a lot of confrontations looks like it's that she's too reactionary. Sad part is, she's probably that way because of a having to deal with a lot of it in the past so she's easily triggered and goes off the rails too fast.  It doesn't sit well with me that Ashton seemed to be prepped for battle with Rhylee even before she got there. I wish he would have went into it like a clean slate instead of bringing last season into it. That really wasn't fair and set the stage for disaster. Minus the whole, "working too hard for a BJ" I thought Ashton was doing a great job with his deck crew. He seemed very committed to treating them like colleagues and not just subordinates. Too bad he let the ups and downs of last season interfere with how he would handle his new/old deckhand. 

[SunnyBeBe]

On 11/26/2019 at 9:09 PM, pieinmyeye said:

Kevin, I cannot believe your reaction to Rylee asking you to order something Paleo or Keto for her. You were ordering for the table anyway. I would take it as a compliment if someone asked me to order for them. He has to be one of the world’s most misogynistic assholes. I would love to see Kate make your job difficult. I hope you go and take Ashton with you.

When did serving steaks equal masculinity?

I'm not a Rylee fan, but I didn't see the problem with her request for the Palo dish. No biggie. So, why the blow up? Staged, fabricated drama imo.  When they attacked her, she bit back. Don't poke the bear...lol. 

[Lunula]

On 11/26/2019 at 8:19 AM, Chalby said:

I am more forgiving of Rhylee's temper and acting out behaviour for the reasons you have cited. She is such a hard worker and on par with most lead deck crew. Even her toe to toe argument with Kevin made me feel she was not entirely at fault. How convenient that Rhylee take on Kevin's arrogant asshole comments on her first evening out? I am positive that bunking with Kate gave her a backstory - enough for Rhylee to determine she was not putting up with an idiot chef.

Yep. I honestly cannot stand people who fly off the handle like Rhylee, and when they brought her back I was bummed. It's not only childish, but rather than proving how "confident" you are that you won't back down from a fight, it only shows how deeply insecure you are. 

That said, Kevin is a gigantic dickbag who acts equally prepubescent and yet the "bros" on the ship don't ever seem to mention that. The entire argument was so ridiculous that I felt Kevin had to have received extra payment for starting it and escalating it like that. I was confused, especially after Rhylee repeated (over & over) that she wasn't Paleo as Kevin accused her of not "informing him" of her dietary restrictions. Seriously,  Kevin? Seriously? 

[Special K]

The thing that confuses me: Kevin was ordering Chicken Satay. Doesn't that qualify as Paleo? (Or perhaps he was ordering "Just" chicken satay.)

Asking out of ignorance, but it seems if you don't use the peanut dipping sauce, it's paleo, right?

Or like just speak up and tell him what you want to order!  Kevin is a jerk, but Rhylee (Ugh, that spelling!) was spoiling for a fight.

[biakbiak]

1 minute ago, Special K said:

thing that confuses me: Kevin was ordering Chicken Satay. Doesn't that qualify as Paleo? (Or perhaps he was ordering "Just" chicken satay.)

The marinade most likely has sugar in it but that also led to the confusion. Again she didn’t just say paleo she said paleo/keto not the same thing and finding dishes that fit that at a Thai restaurant in Thailand is going to be extremely difficult. 

[Special K]

19 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

The marinade most likely has sugar in it but that also led to the confusion. Again she didn’t just say paleo she said paleo/keto not the same thing and finding dishes that fit that at a Thai restaurant in Thailand is going to be extremely difficult. 

I'm not sure she even knew what she was asking for.

[biakbiak]

25 minutes ago, Special K said:

I'm not sure she even knew what she was asking for.

I agree which I why I sort of understood where Kevin’s frustration came from because there is also a good chance he doesn’t know the ends and out of both of those diets. That said he just should have said that and told her to pick something for herself instead of act like a colossal dick about it. 

Edited December 3, 2019 by biakbiak

[Special K]

21 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

I agree which I why I sort of understood where Kevin’s frustration came from because their is also a good chance he doesn’t know the ends and out of both of those diets. That said he just should have said that and told her to pick something for herself instead of act like a colossal dick about it. 

For the both of them, a measly hill to die on.

[Yours Truly]

Just watched it again and the first time I was doing chores and didn’t see the progression but the fact that the guys are all Damn Rhylee you just got here and already you’re bringing drama pisses me off! Kevin was being unnecessarily rude and started mocking Rhylee almost immediately. Tanner lost some points with me too. Rhylee wasn’t even being confrontational after Kevin showed confusion all Rhylee started doing was explaining her reasoning for wanting to order something keto. It definitely wasn’t for all that. The the guys gathering to talk about Rhylees behavior.. Fucking ridiculous and there my friends is where the misogyny showed up full blast. They are pissed that she just doesn’t keep her mouth shut and take it. That she dares speak up and escalate the situation meanwhile when Kevin come back to the table HE’S the one that started right back up with Rhylee and continued the argument. Throughout the exchange Rhylee stilled didn’t seem to be out of control Kevin was the one that was all kinds of emotional and unnecessarily aggravated. But Rhylee is the one thrashing about needing to be muzzled??? Why? Cause men can’t stand it when a women pushes the limits. Men will patronize for a bit but when they are done hearing it and women don’t catch the hint to let it go then it’s the woman who’s emotional, hysterical a bitch and has overstepped bounds. This is the bullshit that Rhylee was reacting to last season. A man can be nice and communicate properly and all that but the misogyny is when you can tell they are doing it for show but then when a situation arises where a woman isnt backing down or submitting like they believe they should they decided it time for dressing them down.  Turning it around to it being her fault cause She should know that at the end of the day it’s HER responsibility to de escalate, be disarming and basically “nurture” the situation into a calm place. Not agitate but be the peacemaker. It jolts the men for a woman go toe to toe and not be the calming force they believe should be her role during a confrontation.. Uggghhh! Pisses me off! And now Kevin being a condescending asshole is turned into Rhylee being the problem/bringing problems into the boat. If anybody didn’t know what misogyny looked like the scene with the three of them talking about Rhylees behavior is it in a nutshell. At the end of the day Ashton and Tanner really had no dog in the fight and yet are aggravated with Rhylee just the same. Cause they’ve observed that she’s not the one to cater to their male delicacies. Pitiful! 

[luvthepros]

I can't stand Rhylee. Can't stand her name, can't stand her tone of voice when she is ranting, can't stand the fact that she thinks she is always right and will fight to the bitter end to have the last word. And........I'm female.

[Yours Truly]

14 hours ago, luvthepros said:

I can't stand Rhylee. Can't stand her name, can't stand her tone of voice when she is ranting, can't stand the fact that she thinks she is always right and will fight to the bitter end to have the last word. And........I'm female.

But she wasn't wrong so there's that.

[biakbiak]

2 hours ago, Yours Truly said:

But she wasn't wrong so there's that.

I thought she was wrong on a variety of levels including knowing the basics of keto and paleo diets.

[Yours Truly]

On 12/6/2019 at 11:47 AM, biakbiak said:

I thought she was wrong on a variety of levels including knowing the basics of keto and paleo diets.

I meant she wasn’t wrong for standing up for herself. Just because she doesn’t do it with style, finesse and a lullabye doesn’t mean it’s wrong to push back when Kevin and Tanner mock her at the table like two 10 year olds in front of everyone. The first act of disrespect was Kevin and Tanner joking and belittling Rhylee. I don’t get why Rhylee reacting to the disrespect and trying to explain her position is the biggest issue. Yeah it escalated but I’m all about standing your ground and  I don’t side with antagonizers. So there’s that I guess. 

[biakbiak]

2 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

I don’t get why Rhylee reacting to the disrespect and trying to explain her position is the biggest issue

Because her position was that Kevin should be able to find her something to fit her dietary restrictions with no guidance for a diet she doesn’t understand or follow. Shouting keto/paleo over and over again isn’t a position it’s someone who doesn’t want to make a decision.

Edited December 7, 2019 by biakbiak

[Yours Truly]

On 12/7/2019 at 1:08 PM, biakbiak said:

Because her position was that Kevin should be able to find her something to fit her dietary restrictions with no guidance for a diet she doesn’t understand or follow. Shouting keto/paleo over and over again isn’t a position it’s someone who doesn’t want to make a decision.

But to be the BIGGEST issue out of all the BS that went down that night???? Hmmmm, I don't think so.  Kevin's aggressive response was pretty extreme. Tanner and Kevin mocking the request being mean girls stood out to me too. Kevin returning to the table and continuing to poke the issue was another no for me and Ashton's over the top tone and blame of Riley was really out of line. So yeah, Riley's request, as annoying as some seem to think it was, doesn't really compare to all the other douchery that came out of it all. As "aggravating" as her request was it wasn't done with the intent to provoke an altercation.  The others just felt like reacting in very disrespectful way in response to something that didn't need to be handled that way. She wasn't meanspirited when she made the request, they however were mean spirited with their response. To me intent is usually what matters in these sort of situations. But that's just me. 

Edited December 9, 2019 by Yours Truly

[Mondrianyone]

On 12/7/2019 at 1:08 PM, biakbiak said:

Shouting keto/paleo over and over again isn’t a position it’s someone who doesn’t want to make a decision.

Or just wants to fight for the sake of fighting.  Or because that's what they're paying her to do this trip.

[walnutqueen]

No dog in this fight; Kevin and Wryly are both dickswabs.

[biakbiak]

1 hour ago, Yours Truly said:

But to be the BIGGEST issue out of all the BS that went down that night???? Hmmmm, I don't think so.  Kevin's aggressive response was pretty extreme.

For the most part people seemed to have split the blame equally between the two of them. I don’t see anyone defending Kevin’s reaction. However, this is a pattern we have seen with Rhylee where she goes from fine to completely over the top. Many times she even starts with a fairly reasonable complaint/issue but than she blows it up and won’t let it go. I mean she followed Ashton and Tanner our to the beach to continue to bitch argue about it.

And not for nothing both Tanner and Kevin ended up apologizing to her for their part in the fight but she didn’t return the favor. 

[Yours Truly]

31 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

For the most part people seemed to have split the blame equally between the two of them. I don’t see anyone defending Kevin’s reaction. However, this is a pattern we have seen with Rhylee where she goes from fine to completely over the top. Many times she even starts with a fairly reasonable complaint/issue but than she blows it up and won’t let it go. I mean she followed Ashton and Tanner our to the beach to continue to bitch argue about it.

And not for nothing both Tanner and Kevin ended up apologizing to her for their part in the fight but she didn’t return the favor. 

Actually she did apologize as well. I don't know if it was to both Kevin and Ashton but she did say sorry to at least one of them in response to their apology.

See, "this is a pattern" bothers me. Cause that means that a person is getting punished for past offenses. Last season she had a bunch of jerks treat her poorly. Her reactions were emotional and extreme but not unwarranted so there's that. I can get on board being irked by her level of abruptness cause I completely get it but when the crew aka Ashton allows it to cloud his perception of what the current conflict is then that's when I find it unacceptable. 

Ashton automatically went into this whole, "this is who she is, what she does" a whole blanket grievance using mainly unrelated information to justify his reaction to Rhylee. Then decided he was going to unload all this crap on her about what he thinks of her and her behavior over a damn menu order that didn't even involve him. I hate when people do this. Judge the situation and who is doing what. Ashton was more focused on Rhylee's conduct and not assessing what was transpiring fairly. Let's not fool ourselves. Ashton was waiting for the opportunity to throw Rhylee under the bus the minute she found herself in any confrontation on the boat. 

Just because she gets more emotionally heated during a confrontation doesn't just mean she's wrong. And to be honest she wasn't the one raising her voice right away and she's the one that asked Ashton to explain his reasoning but he couldn't and just wanted to walk away as if his observation was dead on without proving any sort of logic that would support his claim that the whole thing was her fault. She was challenging him to prove it and when he couldn't or wouldn't she didn't want to let him off with that and she shouldn't have. He's the one interjecting all this extra aggravation and opinions but then wants to run off leaving his claims hanging in the air with no substance. I completely understood her telling him not to just drop a bomb like that and think it's okay to just walk off. 

I have the same tendencies. I'll put you in a corner and calmly ask you to explain your position usually because I know you can't. She wasn't being unruly, she was challenging Ashton to explain his position and when he walked away she had every right to demand he not walk away and to stay and explain himself. You want to be rude and nasty and put shit on me then at least back up your fucking thinking. Let's discuss this or else keep your mouth shut especially since it really had nothing to do with Ashton anyway. 

Whatever, tho. Rhylee is a loud outspoken woman with a less than friendly tone at times and that's enough to let the men slide by with misogynist and condescending  behavior. The fact that Rhylee isn't the most calmest of people fighting the fight still shouldn't negate the serious issues that transpired between her and all THREE of the men. But I guess "she asked for it" Common mindset when it comes to how men are allowed to behave and how women aren't allowed to behave. Nothing the men did was appropriate and yet Rhylee "shouldn't have" this that or the other according to Ashton, Kevin and to a certain degree Tanner.

Edited December 9, 2019 by Yours Truly

[biakbiak]

Just now, Yours Truly said:

See, "this is a pattern" bothers me. Cause that means that a person is getting punished for past offenses.

No one is punishing her and noticing that she reacts the same way to almost any difference of opinion/argument is how human beings evaluate one another. 

[Mondrianyone]

1 minute ago, biakbiak said:

how human beings evaluate one another. 

It's also how we ID serial killers. 

Patterns of behavior are anything but meaningless. 

If my husband cheats on me and then does it again, and again, that's a behavior pattern I'm going to notice.  And punish him for, too.  (See above reference to serial killers.)

Rhylee would be a foaming rage monster regardless of which gender she was packaged in.  And no one should have to turn in her feminist badge for saying so.  I've been a feminist since before Rhylee was born, and I know how to recognize an asshole when I see one.

[biakbiak]

1 minute ago, Mondrianyone said:

Rhylee would be a foaming rage monster regardless of which gender she was packaged in.  And no one should have to turn in her feminist badge for saying so.  I've been a feminist since before Rhylee was born, and I know how to recognize an asshole when I see one.

I actually had hope that Rhylee might have reflected on how she reacts to situations and learn to manage her frustrations and work on her communication skills so that she would be better about expressing herself and listening to others because it would be hugely beneficial for her and her coworkers. I mean I don’t think Joao changed that much but at least he saw how he came off the first season and attempted to make some changes. Working on yourself is something everyone should do regardless of gender. 

[Yours Truly]

2 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

No one is punishing her and noticing that she reacts the same way to almost any difference of opinion/argument is how human beings evaluate one another. 

Ashton was. Using last seasons experiences with Rhylee as a gage for jumping on her behavior at the FIRST inkling of conflict. He seems to completely disregard the fact that the bosun from the previous season was an asshole and did give Rhylee unecessary shit. He even admits this season that Rhylee likes to be kept in the loop which means he understood some of her frustration from the previous season however he's still ready to act like she deserves shit cause she won't let someone treat her any ole' way. 

Kevin was being an asshole and so was Tanner for that matter. But she stayed focused on Kevin. Hell I would have put both of them in their place with a fuck you and a fuck you too the minute they pulled that whole routine which was maybe 3 seconds after the menu confusion began. She held out longer than I would have cause they would have both been silenced lickity split.

I take situation by situation. Even if the person "is known for" I still take situation by situation. If the person who is "know for" whatever isn't in the wrong I don't lean towards it being their fault anyway just because "they are known for". That's actually ridiculous. That ties a person's hands, its almost like saying "welp, you've been in scrapes before so now you have to take abuse because if you open your mouth you're automatically gonna be wrong". That's exactly the message Ashton was giving by telling Rhylee she was the one at fault for the whole thing when Kevin kept stoking that fire. Even when he came back to the table. And again she plainly asked him why was he so offended? She invited him to explain why what she did was so offensive. Hotheads having an argument at a table isn't the same as Ashton deeming Rhylee the disruptor of such a tight knit family and coming in destroying everything was just so extra. That was Ashton wanting to punish Rhylee using every other conflict as his reason and not an ACTUAL reason. 

8 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

It's also how we ID serial killers. 

Patterns of behavior are anything but meaningless. 

If my husband cheats on me and then does it again, and again, that's a behavior pattern I'm going to notice.  And punish him for, too.  (See above reference to serial killers.)

Rhylee would be a foaming rage monster regardless of which gender she was packaged in.  And no one should have to turn in her feminist badge for saying so.  I've been a feminist since before Rhylee was born, and I know how to recognize an asshole when I see one.

Great. Problem I have is when assholes are singled out while the rest of the assholes aren't taken to task. 

That's just me. 

[biakbiak]

10 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

Ashton was.

Sorry I thought you meant on the thread. As I noted upthread Ashton set her up for failure by telling the guys about his issues with her last season and was wrong to do that. He wasn’t wrong for worrying that her behavior would be similar and being wary about it but he should have kept it to himself and allowed Rhylee an opportunity. However, that doesn’t mean Rhylee wasn’t wrong for how she reacted and probing Ashton’s point right out of the gate. 

Edited December 9, 2019 by biakbiak

[Mondrianyone]

5 minutes ago, Yours Truly said:

Great. Problem I have is when assholes are singled out while the rest of the assholes aren't taken to task. 

That's just me. 

No, it's not just you.  More people on these threads than I can count have said that all three of the men involved in this little fracas are/were assholes.  The fact that you might be choosing not to register those remarks doesn't make them go away.

[Yours Truly]

14 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

I actually had hope that Rhylee might have reflected on how she reacts to situations and learn to manage her frustrations and work on her communication skills so that she would be better about expressing herself and listening to others because it would be hugely beneficial for her and her coworkers. I mean I don’t think Joao changed that much but at least he saw how he came off the first season and attempted to make some changes. Working on yourself is something everyone should do regardless of gender. 

Very true. Then again, I don't think becoming a door mat counts as working on oneself but ok. I'm okay with her outbursts if they aren't coming from nowhere. I would like it if she could get more of a handle on it obviously but I don't think that reacting strongly to bullshit and rude behavior completely negates her right to be upset over said behavior. I think it's funny there's more concern over how hurt or upset someone is when treated poorly than it is that someone behaved inappropriately in the first place to cause that reaction in someone else.

To put it simply. I'm amazed that it's more of issue an that Riley couldn't manage her reaction of hurt and anger to the specifications of those around her while the foul behavior coming from Kevin and Tanner and then Ashton wasn't really that big of a deal.

The balance is so odd to me. 

Edited December 9, 2019 by Yours Truly