the-grey-lady

Jenny's shrieking, sobbing meeting with Sumit's brother and his wife had me cringing. Jenny: I just want them to accept us! Me: THEY DON'T. None of this is that complex. You can't beg and shame people into agreeing with you, no matter how much you want them to! How has Jenny somehow missed that lesson in 61 years?

The Plath parents are the living personification of beige. If the world's drabbest color came to life and started issuing edicts about immoral behavior, the resulting person would look a lot like the senior Plaths.

I hate Buddy, so I'm loath to do ask this, but... ...takes deep breath... ...why was Whitney so pissed off at him at the end of this episode? Because he very reasonably pointed that she could hurt herself? THAT concern was worthy of one of her trademark shit fits?

You two are being awfully unfair. What could possibly prevent Buddy from pursuing a comedy career, other than his utter lack of talent and sense of comedic timing?

Really? Not Avylonn, Avuhlon, or Avalonnn?

One of Clare's cast-offs: They haven't known each other nearly long enough to get engaged! Me: Right! Everybody knows you need at least A MONTH to know someone well enough to commit your life to them!

I just can't with the women on this show. Newsflash, Angela, Laura, Rebecca, Brittany, etc.: I'm a strong, assertive woman and I wanted an egalitarian relationship, too. (Like, a real assertive woman. Not the screamy, fake kind.) So you know what I did? I married a man who wanted a strong, assertive woman. That was a helluva lot easier than the 90 Day plan, which is to find a man with strong cultural conceptions of patriarchy and then stomp around like a bleached blonde Godzilla, demanding he change RIGHT NOW.

Mr. Grey at the end of this episode: Wait, are they bringing on a new Bachelorette? Me: Yep and stay there for a second. Wait 'til you see her boobs.

Can you imagine having ARMPIT SNIFFING as your trademark?!

Wow, sounds just scintillating. Really riveting stuff.

I'm glad to see Jill troweled on the requisite half-pound of sparkly eye shadow for the hike. It's important to look as cheap as possible while in the woods.

Man, that scene with poor Skyla should've been a whole helluva lot shorter. Angela/Michael/Lydia: You should give us an egg! Just one! Pleeeeeease? Why nooooooot? You're so meeeeeeean! Just think about it, okay? We'll talk more later. You'll give us an egg eventually. Skyla: Hell, no. Never bring this shit up again. Angela/Michael/Lydia: But an aiiiigggggg... [Skyla leaves]

You know what else sounds like hate? Hateful rantings from delusional, self-righteous grifters.

Do I have to? Haven't we all suffered enough?

Oh, noes... not GRANDMAS! not FRIENDS! not FAT PEOPLE! How can we allow these degenerates to pollute our fine, upstanding Wal-Marts with no regard for the wreckage they leave in their wake?! Hey Jilly...1951 called. It wants its outrage back. It thinks you are overreacting.

Damn, this episode was depressing. I really felt for Jana when she laughed uncomfortably about questions about her love life, because "there are other things to talk about." Like what, Jana? Your college classes? Your road trips with friends? Your hobbies and interests? The books you're reading? Your dreams for the future? The trajectory of your career? The little apartment you're sharing with a roommate as you move out on your own?

I wish I could work up some outrage at JillyRod using her sister's accident (with a bloody freaking picture!) as a way to drum up sympathy FOR HERSELF, but I can't say I'm surprised. She is vile. Loathsome.

That's a powerful message for the son of a family that hides their cowardly eyes from women in short skirts and denies freedom to their 30-something "children."

Wait a minute...doesn't Jeremy have the standard I-liked-to-party-in-college-with-an-occasional-wine-spritzer conversion story? So he was saved in childhood and then...re-saved? Unsaved and then saved again? His childhood salvation didn't take?

Where would a person get a fat freezing belt? Asking for a friend.

I mean. She did. We're just beating the Strive corpse, at this point.

I appreciate all of the support for my harebrained scheme to throw a Moldovan wedding. Mr. Grey, however, is not on board. Perhaps he's not my soulmate after all. What a blow I've been dealt!

How much to ensure that Elizabeth's drunken lout of a brother never darkens my TV screen again? I can't even imagine insulting someone at their own wedding. Also, I want a Moldovan wedding. I'm already married. I have been for 12 years. We have no plans for a renewal ever. I still want a Moldovan wedding.

She looks like a handmaid. Fitting.

None. The answer is none.