the-grey-lady

What's the next move? Have you considered shutting the fuck up every now and again?

Wow, the Cher/Dawn convo about Mimi getting the hell out of their house was a masterclass in gaslighting. "Oh, okay. I just thought I was HELPING. You'll have lots of time to spend her with her, later! I'm trying to give you a BREAK!" And then Cher fell all over herself reassuring her mom that she loooooves her sooooo much, and she's sooooooo grateful. Gross.

I could have happily lived another century without hearing Paul ruminate about how tampons work. "So you put it in the hole..." OMG, "buy five, save five" is only a good deal if YOU HAVE FIVE DOLLARS. WHICH YOU DON'T.

"They wouldn't see her around for awhile." Ha! There's a useless threat!

Tania: I was fine with Syngin's drinking before, but I assumed he would change once we got married! Oh, honey. That never works out.

The convo that Brittani and Mary had after Brittani's "date" had me cringing into another time zone. The whole thing reminded me of talks I had with my friends freshman year of high school. "So, like, HOW did he look at you?" "Well, I'm not sure he 100% meant to, BUT he didn't look away. And he kind of smiled. I mean, halfway." "That TOTALLY means he likes you!" "And! He brushed my hand in the hallway! When he reached down to pick up his water bottle!" "OMG! Let's see how your name will look with his last name! Eek!"

"Get" to see Gilbert? Like his sparkling personality is quite a treat? 🙂

I've been pondering this all morning... Does anyone have any insight into why Syngin was yelling at Tania about (her) possibly having arthritis? Is it some kind of cultural thing to yell the illness right out of someone?

Wow, I had forgotten about Chases's dickish declaration of love, after which, when JoJo couldn't reciprocate his feelings, he proceeded to gaslight her about how hard it was for him to say ILY, as if his bravery meant that she owed him the same feelings back. Dude. She wasn't in love with you. That happens.

Remember how Kody conducted that stupid presentation to convince them to move to Flagstaff, and he swore up and down that they would make SO MUCH money selling their houses? Then, when they actually moved, and couldn't sell those ginormous concrete boxes, Kody whined endlessly about how Flagstaff is soooooo expensive and Kody is sooooo put upon because he haaaaad to mooooooove. I'm glad to know that Meri's 30 yearly trips to Disneyland are more important than an operation that will allow Ysabel to keep walking.

I actually recoiled when I scrolled down to that picture. She looks like a plasticine kewpie doll.

Ah, nothing like starting out your day snuggling in bed with Mommy, having a nice wholesome convo about vibrators. I can't believe I just typed that. Ick. Frank should run fast and far. He's going to wake up with a horse's head on his pillow.

"We're all tucked in nice and tight." "Mommy loves you!" Vomit. Gee, I wonder why Miguel isn't rushing to propose right this second. WHAT A MYSTERY. WE MAY NEVER SOLVE IT. I got a great guffaw out of the thought of my mom sitting my now-husband down on a "date" to pressure him to propose already. I would've found the nearest oven in which to stick my head.

Oh, lawd, please don't encourage them. The last thing Darcey and Stacey need are more inspirational quotes!

When BGL croaked that Tom and Darcey were her favorite love story, I almost fell off my couch. True story. And no one called her on it. What a blow I was dealt!

OMG, how I loved the long-awaited nuptials of Sojaboy and BGL! Let me count the ways. -- BGL insisting that she would push her breasts to the right height, as if she controls gravity like she controls her "mens." -- BGL thoughtfully arranging her wedding veil over her fanciest Goody claw clip. -- Sojaboy's mother informing the audience that BGL beter get to producing two kids, stat, without regard to whether or not BGL is too old to tote an aig. -- Sojaboy's brothers shading BGL as old and fat on her wedding day. -- The overjoyed wedding guests wearing expressions more suited to a funeral for a head of state. -- The officiant including the equivalent of [insert name here] in the vows. -- Sojaboy thoughtfully using his stage name during his vows. -- Sojaboy's reception love song. The gift that keep on giving, these two star-crossed lovers.

Nurie's head is way too big for her body in that picture. She looks like a lollipop. Or one of those drinking birds, with necks that keep falling under her own weight. I want to send Nurie a hamburger.

Jason: "I feel like Sunhe might be too intrusive to Viviana." FTFY, Spiney McSpineless

I've watched the teaser for this season a few times, and I feel like an awful lot of the people featured in it never made it into this season. Am I (just) crazy?

I'm choosing to believe that Jesse's mother is embarrassed to be on this show, so she's choosing to hide her real identity by wearing that Raggedy Anne wig. I'm choosing to believe that because I need to believe that. Please do not wreck my delusion, thanks.

Back to add... How many times have we seen Lisa throw a tantrum that ended with, "I'm out!" This was the worst one yet. She asks Usman's brothers for their opinion on her fights with Usman, Usman says he doesn't want to discuss this with his brothers, she ignores his pleas and plows on ahead, the brothers listen politely and offer reasonable, well-thought out advice based on their experience and culture...and Lisa throws a fit. Wow, Usman must feel like he's living in a fairy tale with BGL.

Is there a reason why Darcey and Stacey talk primarily in motivational quotes? Perhaps the excess silicone leaching into their bodies makes sentence construction more difficult? Seriously. "He loved love"? That's just gibberish.

Not much interesting in this latest episode, but I got a nice guffaw out of the moment with Anny patiently described her symptoms to Robert -- fatigue, puking IN THE MORNINGS -- to Robert, FATHER OF FIVE, and he stared at her blankly and replied, "I'm not sure what she's trying to say." Tired and sick every morning? Wow, WHAT COULD IT BE?

Stephanie asked Erika to drive three hours so they could spend a few minutes sitting in uncomfortable silence, broken up by yet another of Stephanie's lame-ass apologies? I hope Erika had something fun with her friends planned for later.

I'm catching up on past episodes. I can't be the only one who laughed out loud when Julia accused Natasha of trying to sabotage her as a performer. Julia, have you heard Natasha sing? She doesn't need to sabotage anybody, especially not you. She is LIT.