the-grey-lady

Kim: I want all my kids to be able to come to me and tell me about their lives. Also Kim: I kicked my minor daughter out of the house, refuse to let my older kids see the younger ones without sulking in a corner, and have an army of spies who keep me apprised of the older kids' every move.

EVERY TIME I see Jessa's kids' names, I wonder why they named one kid Spurgeon Elliot and the other Henry Wilberforce? Why let one kid hide the obligatory preacher's name as the middle and stick the other with Spurgeon as a first name? Spurgeon makes me think of the sound my cat makes when she's working out a hairball.

Buddy reminds me of a particularly self-absorbed 13-year-old girl. "OMG, we went on a WALK and we exchanged PHONE NUMBERS and we TALK ALL THE TIME and SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND NOW! For a WHOLE WEEK! We're practically MARRIED!"

I suspect Whitney brought that up solely to manipulate Buddy into reassuring her that she didn't need to change, she was perfect the way she was, any man would be lucky to bask in the glow of her magnificence, etc.

Rebecca's Zied-themed comforter reminds me of my New Kids on the Block-era bedroom, circa 1990. Wow, that is not a compliment.

I'll take one for the team if y'all are willing to take up a collection to pay my medical bills when I roll my eyes too many times and they get stuck that way.

I almost slid off my treadmill when Dom expressed his fears about violating the terms of his release, and Mary was all, "He doesn't even seem to be excited about tuxedos!"

Ah, Garrison has picked up a new hobby...did he spend a year reading about it first, months agonizing about when to start, and then a couple weeks trying to work up the energy to walk outside?

I am so sick of the term "my truth." I am also sick of Meri's plasticine eyebrows.

I should be embarrassed to admit I know this... Deep breath... Steven Assanti is already married.

I can see my initial impulse - not to get into this show - was correct. I am now obsessed. Everyone has throughly covered, "I always wanted a black friend!" like Andrea's "friend" was looking to try Indian food for the first time, but what about, "He's not Mormon and he's in prison; I'm not sure which is worse!"?

No, you don't.

Oh, I know you're right. I've cut off a few toxic relatives in my time.

Two things: 1. Brilliant assessment. Seriously good. 2. If you're going to recommend we all drink every time Whitney lies, I hope you can live with an awful lot of alcohol poisoning on your conscience.

Nothing about the Jenny/Sumit "compromise" makes sense to me. Sumit's mother threatens to kill herself if he marries Jenny, so Sumit agrees to...just live with Jenny forever? How will that ease Mom's humiliation about her son living with an "old woman"? Is it just the actual marriage she cares about? Also, Sumit's mother is a shrew. Threatening suicide to get what you want is horribly manipulative and cruel.

I cannot fathom why the women (or the mama's boys) on this show have such a hard time saying "no." "No, I don't want to wear a red paisley suit." "No, you can't plan our wedding." "No, you're not invited to dinner tonight." "No, I'm not available to drink sleepytime tea tonight." "No, I'd rather have the chicken parmesan for dinner." What do they think the overbearing, pushy moms are going to do when told "no"? Ground them? Ban them from using the car?

I've been mulling Whitney's period cup shill for days (I know, I KNOW). Carrying a tampon in case her period starts unexpectedly is a huge hassle, but carrying a menstrual cup in case her period starts unexpectedly is...reasonable? Am I missing something here? Is there a woman of childbearing age (sans hysterectomy or other reason for not menstruating) who DOESN'T have a tampon in her purse at all times?

Kim: [The estrangement from Ethan and Olivia] has me even more determined to make sure this doesn't happen with any of my younger children. Me: You should definitely cling to them more. That'll help.

I notice she didn't say she actually USES the bike...

Darlene having a baby was the worst possible idea. Thank god they dropped that plot line by the end of the episode. I find it really hard to believe that none of the Conners (NOT ONE) have learned to make even the most basic of sound decisions by now. Wait, I guess DJ has. Thank god for DJ.

Ethan's confessional about how he never learned to deal with human emotions made me really sad. I feel like, at their core, the Plath kids are fundamentally decent and caring, but their parents have done absolutely nothing to nurture that aspect of their development. That segment with Barry and Isaac having the world's cringiest "man talk" felt like a conversation between a man and his roofer, for all the warmth and comfort there.

OMG. If Whitney is so concerned about hurting Buddy and making him feel like shit, maybe she should stop badmouthing him to their mutual friends the second he's out of earshot!

Jenny's shrieking, sobbing meeting with Sumit's brother and his wife had me cringing. Jenny: I just want them to accept us! Me: THEY DON'T. None of this is that complex. You can't beg and shame people into agreeing with you, no matter how much you want them to! How has Jenny somehow missed that lesson in 61 years?

The Plath parents are the living personification of beige. If the world's drabbest color came to life and started issuing edicts about immoral behavior, the resulting person would look a lot like the senior Plaths.

I hate Buddy, so I'm loath to do ask this, but... ...takes deep breath... ...why was Whitney so pissed off at him at the end of this episode? Because he very reasonably pointed that she could hurt herself? THAT concern was worthy of one of her trademark shit fits?