S34.E05: In Paulie We Trust

[OnceSane]

Quote

Bananas is forced to put his trust in Paulie, who promises not to target the notorious pot-stirrer. Players struggle during the "Hooked” challenge, revealing how well they can really swim. Two Challenge beasts battle in a grueling elimination.

Airs September 25, 2019.

[Lantern7]

"Okay, so this week, Paulie makes a promise, breaks it, and his team suffers a loss." "What a scumb-" "It was against Johnny." "Oh. Well, fuck Johnny. I mean, fuck Paulie, but fuck Johnny so much harder."

Once again: do as Johnny says, not as he screws. If he breaks his word with you, then it's "all's fair in love, war and Challenge." If you break your word, you are the worst or the worst. Yeah, I can hate Paulie too, but Johnny's many, many, MANY shady actions have painted a target on his back that will never come off with this crowd. Jemmye wasn't completely right . . . screwing Sarah didn't curse him. No, it was the tip of the shitty iceberg of shitty behavior from Johnny.

And, as always, Johnny could have saved himself . . . but since he couldn't tell "VI" and "VII" apart, he loses to Theo. And that's another reason why Johnny sucks . . . because even when you fuck him, he still gets a chance to shimmy out of danger. But when he can't come back, he winds up reduced to mean-spirited tweets about Paulie's lack of height. Come on, he wouldn't dare try that shit with Derrick. Look at this shit: swiping at Cara as well as Paulie twice.

Yeah, it was a scumbag move by Paulie, and it makes him look like Cara Maria has his balls in her purse. But if Johnny's getting fucked? I'm down. And spitting out the "love/war/Challenges" line? COLD BLOODED.

Mission? Right. I watched on DVR . . . and dork that I was, I used Excel to add up the times. Natalie had the second-slowest time, and I get the ripping . . . but I still want to like her. ach says his three-year-old nephew is a better swimmer. Well, I'd bet the kid would make for a better boyfriend than him. So would Natalie, if she bats from that side of the plate. Also, Turbo apparently has the water weakness Bruce Willis had in Unbreakable. That might screw him down the line.

Josh continues to be doughy and extra. I get how he'd be friends with Paulie via Big Brother . . . but if Paulie wants to break that bond? Awesome, because fuck Josh.

Damn, we lost three legit all-stars in three weeks I still can't see any of the newer kids prevailing in the end. Turbo doesn't count . . . he was never a kid. He came into this world at 135 lbs and with that beard.

[angelamh66]

I hate Paulie with the fire of a thousand suns, but damn that was satisfying. I do think it was weird that TJ told Johnny he messed up. Wouldn’t it have made more sense to let him get to the end, then tell him. I mean it’s not like anyone told Ninja or Laurel when they missed a peg last week. Just more special treatment for their star. Dontcha know he IS the Challenge. Just ask him, he’ll tell you. 

Edited September 26, 2019 by angelamh66

[TiffanyNichelle]

First off, bite me TJ with that finger wagging he gave Team US for daring to put Johnny in. Where was that when they threw in Wes who was also a strong player? Where was that when Johnny was obviously throwing challenges last week? I liked that Cara pointed out that she's been in more finales lately than he has. So is he really their best player or the only player that can win for them?

I think the reason why TJ was right there watching each thing is because no one was paying attention during the Laurel/Ninja elimination.

I don't like Paulie because he's got the issues and I'm not a fan of Theo strutting around like he's the leader of Team UK and gets to decide who is good enough to run a final because he did it once but I've hated Johnny longer and more so that was awesome!! Suck it. You can't open things up like voting in your own team members or throwing a challenge and think you can still play the "we're a team card" when it's a chance your ass is on the line. Paulie setting up Johnny for that fall was like Kam type game playing. Nicely done.

Jordan is trying so hard to be Johnny and it's so sad.

Does Josh ever listen to himself when he talks? First he's all about he's not being manipulated, everyone is being manipulated but then he goes around basically trying to convince Cara to do what Johnny wants. Again, I liked that Cara threw it back in his face that he voted in Wes because he was so hurt by Wes based on one challenge but now Cara had to not be emotional and think of the team? Whatever. I love how messy both the teams are. It's great.

[hjmugillecuty]

After Johnny’s obnoxious “Welcome to the Challenge” last week and “I am the Challenge” this week, I was thrilled to see him go. I think part of why Ninja was shocked by being voted in last week was because last season Johnny went home so early that he didn’t have a chance to poison everyone and it was a purer Challenge. Get rid of Jordan, Tori, Ashley and a couple others and we might get it again.

[scrb]

It is kind of incredible that Team USA has lost just once and yet have suffered 3 players sent home.

If Team USA is fighting each other, it’s a wonder they keep winning challenges.  But then you look at Team UK being saddled with Esther.

Producers either have them following a script or they set up the teams to have two big rival factions who were going to pick off each other sooner or later.  That may be why Cara said they should be trying to win every Challenge.

They would have, if Laurel and Johnny didn’t throw it for the one U.K. win.

So you can’t really blame Cara and Paulie for taking their shot.  Johnny could have recruited Josh and Zach and the. He’d be able to pick off Cara and Paulie’s alliance.

I’m sure for instance that he’d have thrown in Cara before Nany on a female elimination team.

US should keep winning until U.K. drops 4 or 5 of their worst players.

[Craphole Island]

Bye bye Bananas! Happy to see him go. Even though I honestly believe he just comes to collect his checks nowadays.

With that said, I genuinely cannot stand Cara and Paulie. Cara desperately needs a break. 

[luckyroll3]

As much as I hate Paulie, he moved up a very tiny, 1/16th of notch in my book for masterfully playing Johnny and his idiotic followers.  I was shocked (not one bit) that as soon as Johnny's head was on the chopping block that it all of a sudden became about playing as a team and supporting one another and not throwing in one of your better players.  Boy please!

Where was that logic when he maneuvered to get rid of Wes and decided to throw a challenge?  Oh right, it's only okay when he does shady shit, but not when people do it to him.  And fuck Leroy, Jordan, and Jordan's girlfriend for acting like everybody else was damaging the team dynamics, when it was their clique that started with the shenanigans.

And also, Josh: 

 

ya big baby!  He's exhausting.  

[toodywoody]

Anytime that anyone challenges Johnny and his bullshit logic is okay in my book. 

Him and Laurel were fine with getting rid of Wes and throwing a challenge, so don't be saying how it will damage the team and all that bullshit when they started it first. And lookie there, karma is served up on an elimination platter.

Can't stand Johnny and his fucking bullshit about playing the game and when he gets played he pouts about it for 50 years. He will be sitting in his rocking chair at 65 years old and bitching about Sarah double crossing him and Devin putting him in and Paulie double crossing him.

The way I look at it is this, pick off the fucking UK team then you can go picking off your own. They did this same shit last year and look at all the newbies in the finale. Serves them right to be serving their own agenda instead of the team's agenda. Yes, I know they should be after their own agenda but there is time for that.

[mojoween]

If Paul can get booted next and follow Laurel and then John, even if it’s a girl’s week, this season will be the best ever.

John sucks like a Dyson but I begrudgingly agreed with a lot of what he was saying.  Not that I wanted him to stay, because it made me feel dirty to nod along with him.

Fuck right off, Josh.  If you haven’t watched past seasons you have NO idea what Cara has been through with John’s bullying ass.

[peachmangosteen]

12 hours ago, mojoween said:

If Paul can get booted next and follow Laurel and then John, even if it’s a girl’s week, this season will be the best ever.

MTE! And then Cara can go, too.

Ninja is so fucking annoying. Her face sets me off lol. But also, her whining about Zach being mean to her. Now you know how Turbo felt, sweetie. 

It is never not fun to see Johnny lose.

[Lola82]

Hahahaha, I love watching Johnny lose. Sarah's Curse continues!

Did he say that he planned to switch teams after the elimination? That could have been interesting to watch. 

The challenge itself was pretty dumb, the people who were able to hook on went the same distance as the people who just fell in.

[mojoween]

My hubby and I said the same thing!  There was no point at all to use the hook before you went down the zip line.

And where did the hooks go when they hit the water?  Were they buoyant?  Did some poor PA have to go collect them all?

Edited September 27, 2019 by mojoween

[sara416]

20 hours ago, mojoween said:

Fuck right off, Josh.  If you haven’t watched past seasons you have NO idea what Cara has been through with John’s bullying ass.

You could have just ended it after the first sentence. He can just get off my television ASAP please. Couldn't stand him on BB and was so happy for him to leave early last season. 

[IDreamofJoaquin]

Didn't Leroy swim pretty slow?  They just rag on people for doing the same shit that others do, but others are more "popular".  Who was it that cheated in the UK team on the challenge that they had to brak open the locks in the cynlinder. If I recall those same teammates ragged on others who actually played.  I used to really root for Leroy but now he just seems middle of the pack. He's always following along after Johnny and the past few seasons it has not made him get ahead in any way.

Johnny is such a sore loser. Announcing ahead of time he would go to the UK team was just another move to save face and say he hated his team in preperation of him losing.  

It's Episode 5 and Kyle hasn't banged anyone yet.

[Jillibean]

On 9/26/2019 at 7:49 PM, toodywoody said:

Can't stand Johnny and his fucking bullshit about playing the game and when he gets played he pouts about it for 50 years. He will be sitting in his rocking chair at 65 years old and bitching about Sarah double crossing him and Devin putting him in and Paulie double crossing him.

Johnny is totally fine with playing a dirty game as long as he’s the one who benefits. Like any classic narcissist, when it works out NOT in his favor he’s infuriated by people breaking their word, sabotaging the team, not being noble, etc. As I predicted, team USA drawing first blood by sending in Wes was actually terrible for Johnny. He just wasn’t bright enough to realize it. Thrilled to see him have his second consecutive early exit. 

I think Paulie’s going to have to be careful of Jordan now. The way he executed his vote really undermined Jordan and made him look dumb, and Jordan is an incredibly capable competitor and fairly intelligent. IMO, he’s a far more dangerous player than Paulie.

I really wish Josh wasn’t such a big part of this season. He’s awful to watch. 

[lasu]

I am completely fine with John being cast on every single challenge from here until eternity provided he goes home before the finals.  It's even better than if he just went away.  Watching him lose is great entertainment!

Also, you will never convince me that Jordan's purple interview shirt was not purchased brand new with the holes already built in.  Fucking poser.

[Cherry Cola]

5 hours ago, lasu said:

I am completely fine with John being cast on every single challenge from here until eternity provided he goes home before the finals.  It's even better than if he just went away.  Watching him lose is great entertainment!

Also, you will never convince me that Jordan's purple interview shirt was not purchased brand new with the holes already built in.  Fucking poser.

Jordan looks dirty in that purple shirt. 

Glad to see John go! Bye!!!

Yeah, Josh is the worst. Such a baby. 

[Fretful]

Am I mistaken, or did Zach actually apologize to a woman?  Miracles can happen.

[Zima]

Ah, yes. My favorite episode every season is the one in which John gets eliminated.

I wish Theo had switched teams. I want SOMEONE to switch teams soon. 

[Jobiska]

11 hours ago, Fretful said:

Am I mistaken, or did Zach actually apologize to a woman?  Miracles can happen.

I've always felt that Zach was someone who could learn and grow--at a glacial pace, sure, but we get to see it since he keeps coming back.  

John, on the other hand--never going to happen.  Much as I enjoy it when he gets his comeuppance, I'd rather not see him at all.  I'm always tense in anticipation of him grandstanding with his toasts or just in general, spouting hypocrisy (which is a personal huge peeve), or just making his continuing casually misogynistic comments (or his anti-Wes comments, because they just betray his hatred that eats away at him and are too blunt and ill-crafted to be funny in any way).  

Much as CM has come down in my opinion over the years, I kind of enjoyed her silent Mona Lisa smile during the deliberations, when she already knew what she was going to do.

[TiffanyNichelle]

15 hours ago, Fretful said:

Am I mistaken, or did Zach actually apologize to a woman?  Miracles can happen.

Yeah but I doubt he meant it.

[Lantern7]

15 hours ago, Zima said:

Ah, yes. My favorite episode every season is the one in which John gets eliminated.

Since Rivals III, he's been 0-7 in elimination matches (not counting winning his way back from Redemption House with Tony in Final Reckoning). But I'm thinking that those who wind up beating him might be cursed themselves, and it gets worse with each defeat. I mean, Theo did have a recent mishap with a champagne cork where we might not see him for a long time, if ever. Also: none of those that defeated him have won a season. Paulie and Theo are still in WOTW2, but who knows how long that would last.

ETA: Only thing missing was Paulie grabbing Johnny before the Proving Ground. "Look at me! I am The Challenge now!"

Edited September 30, 2019 by Lantern7

[xfuse]

2 hours ago, TiffanyNichelle said:

Yeah but I doubt he meant it.

He didn't.

[Steph619]

First Laurel is gone and now Johnny?! I can watch this season in peace now. Karma came back at them fast and they ended up losing due to silly mistakes.

Honestly, I don’t agree with the throwing in members from your own team into elimination, but in this case, I’m all for it. Had Laurel stayed last week and the US team won, Johnny would’ve named himself speaker and convinced the rest of the tribunal to throw in Paulie and then the following week, thrown in Cara Maria. He’s only a team player when it’s convenient for him. 

[Lantern7]

“Master List” of cast member tweets about last week’s episode.

[zoltana]

I think I need an intervention.  I have a soft spot for Josh.  I think it's a mom thing.  He seems like he's trying to be good, but also trying to puff up and take on the muscleheads but he seems so inept that I just want to give him a cookie and tell him it's ok, there's other kids who'll play with you.  I need help.