Judge Judy Speaks: Quotes

[CuriousParker 3,311]

Here's your Judge Judy Quotes Thread.

[Tunia 7,787]

"I haven't got all day here.  It's sushi day in the cafeteria."

[MrMattyMatt 910]

From early seasons:

 

"I'm the boss, applesauce!"

[BellaLugosi 415]

Ah-move!

[MrsEVH 5,857]

My faves: 

UM is not an answer!

He's a hustler

You got snookered

Speak not

Put on your listening ears

Edited June 29, 2014 by MrsEVH

[designing1 1,787]

Where did you think you were coming today, to a tea dance?  (She uses "the beach" now; I still miss "tea dance.")

 

Some oldies:

Don't pea on my leg and tell me it's raining.

That's a lot of who-shot-John. (Something I've never heard anyone else say -- ever.)

Beauty fades, dumb is forever.

 

And one particularly obnoxious one that, given the low calibre of most of litigants, is probably true:

On your best day, you're not as smart as I am on my worst day.

[Tunia 7,787]

"Did you go to law school? I did."

[MrMattyMatt 910]

"Both Officer Byrd and I paid for your XXXX"

 

Insert anything for XXXX where the plaintiff or defendant say they paid for something and are also getting government assistance.

[One Tough Cookie 6,188]

PUT DOWN THE WATER!

Byrd, get him outta here

Do you think you are smarter than ME????

PUT DOWN THE WATER!!!

Edited June 29, 2014 by onemoretime

[lucindabelle 5,740]

And yet you made a baby with him.

You picked him.

Your mother thinks you're cute. I don't.

[Sarcastico 623]

This is some country!

 

Math is not my strong suit.  Abuse is my strong suit.

Edited June 30, 2014 by Sarcastico

[Milz 1,930]

You're a moron.

[One Tough Cookie 6,188]

There's something wrong with you,

Are you on medication {I find that particularly offensive}.

[ethalfrida 3,834]

That's a lot of who-shot-John. (Something I've never heard anyone else say -- ever.)

 

 

 

My dad said that all the time. He appreciated people getting right to the point in a conversation.

Here is an explanation from wiktionary and it is right on- The idiom "who shot John" has nothing to do with Judge Judy, it's an old Texarkana expression. I've heard that expression since 1948, Judge Judy wasn't even a teenager then. It can mean "don't give me a rambling explanation", or "you look like somebody who needs an excuse for looking so bad". One example - a father says to child, "I want to know what happened, and leave out the who shot John." Or a dad tells his teenage daughter who has on too much inexpertly applied makeup and ripped jeans, "Don't go outside looking like who shot John." In both senses it means bullshit. Another example, "I got the whole who shot John already." Meaning, I have been overly informed ad nauseam about the situation. That the truth and no who shot John." http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Talk:who_shot_John

[Rick Kitchen 13,485]

Put your papers down!

[Princess Sparkle 9,661]

My personal favorite was her talking to a dead beat dad and saying "Stop spreading your seed; it's not that great to begin with."

[lucindabelle 5,740]

Huh. I always thought who-shot-John was just a way of saying "hooey." Now I wonder where "hooey" comes from.

 

That doesn't make sense. And if something doesn't make sense, it's not true.

[Tunia 7,787]

"When you live together or are canoodling together, I'm not interested in your petty bills."

[Ouisch 918]

I always thought she was referring to "Who shot J.R.?" (as in the big Dallas cliffhanger of the 1980s) and just constantly misspoke the name when she said "Who shot John?".

[ShadowSixx 7,211]

"Don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't work and it annoys the pig."

 

"Dumb ideas come from people who have dumb brains."

 

"You speak. I rule, and then you shut up. Do you understand?"

 

"This is my playpen."

[goodogcarl 109]

One of my favorite JJ quotes is the "That's a lot of who shot John."  I'm a little disappointed to find that it means 250 different things or so. I always thought it meant "folderol" "nonsense."

 

One she hardly ever says anymore and it always used to make me chuckle, speaking of someone who can't give a coherent testimony: "He doesn't know if he's afoot or on horseback."

Edited July 16, 2014 by goodogcarl

[iwasish 51,123]

My personal fav

" You madam! are a marginal person" " a marginal person"

[BoxedWine 13]

"You ate the steak."

[dougfir 194]

"You're a hustlah!"

[Quof 16,648]

"I don't care if you're a double mom",

 

said in response to every financially irresponsible woman who pleads "But I'm a single mom."

[SistaLadybug 3,923]

I don't know the exact quotation but it was during a case in which the mother of a deadbeat dad was suing her grandchild's mother.  Judge Judy was flabbergasted and said something like, "I would be embarrassed to show up in court and have to admit that my son is a BUM!'

 

Just the emphasis on "bum" had me howling so hard I had to pause the DVR.

[Rick Kitchen 13,485]

"You're just being redickulus.  Re-DICK-u-lus."

[JBC344 8,462]

I remember when she first introduced "Re-dick-u-lus" because that is the way her grandson says it.

[jonesingjay 1,405]

PUT DOWN THE WATER!

Byrd, get him outta here

Do you think you are smarter than ME????

PUT DOWN THE WATER!!!

 

I always wondered why it bothered her so much when people would pour themselves a drink. 

[Brooklynista 46,652]

^^I mean...isn't that entrapment??

You put the water there! You put a glass there! I'm parched damnit!

Whaddayaexpect?

[DoctorK 4,946]

As a result of my prescription medication, I have a significant "cotton mouth" side effect. If I was foolish enough to go on the show, I would not hesitate to drink the water. Sadly, I think JJ would bitch at me about it, and be obviously prejudiced against me because of that. Sad but true (I think).

[6 MeowMeowBeenz 994]

"Your Honor, I feel..."

"What you feel is irrelevant"

[designing1 1,787]

This^^^ is frequently followed by the reminder that "This isn't Dr. Phil."

[Rick Kitchen 13,485]

Judge Milian actually told a litigant that she wasn't Dr. Phil, the other day.  :D

[iwasish 51,123]

"Your Honor, I feel..."

"What you feel is irrelevant"

Or " I DON'T CARE about your feelings!

[AngelaHunter 44,618]

"I don't care if you were pregnant with sextuplets."

[AngelaHunter 44,618]

Sorry to post twice in a row, but today's "PUT YOUR STUPID HAND DOWN!" left me with no choice.

[EtheltoTillie 12,688]

^^I mean...isn't that entrapment??

You put the water there! You put a glass there! I'm parched damnit!

Whaddayaexpect?

This water fetish is really unfair.  In real court they put out water pitchers, and you are allowed to use them!  I might hesitate when it was my turn to speak . . . but otherwise.

 

Anyway, I'm just happy we have new episodes.  It's been a long break.  On to watching. 

 

People's Court started yesterday, but JJ was preempted for tennis.

[DoctorK 4,946]

From today's Father/daughter car/truck case of confusion:

 

It was just a big stuff going on.

[QuelleC 2,508]

I sort of give her a pass on the water drinking because she's big about eye contact to help her get the truth since so many people don't pay attention to her questions.  I might also try to divert attention or take a break or calm my nerves with a drink of water too.  She seems to find it disrespectful or trying to hide a lie and I can see that.  They're only on air for 15 min or less.

[AngelaHunter 44,618]

The water guzzlers are usually the worst of the worst litigants and I think they do it as a diversionary tactic to give themselves time to try and think of a better lie and it's always guys. ( I was going to say "men" but haven't seen many who fit that description.)

 

Quotes: "You're a single mother? So what? That doesn't make ;you the madonna!"

 

What about the Day Judge Judy Got Bleeped for saying "Shtup"?

[Florinaldo 5,790]

Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. Just as sometimes, litigants take a drink of water simply because they are thirsty.

 

Not in JJ's court of course, where a simple pot of water is elevated to the rank of infallible tool for lie detection.

[iwasish 51,123]

Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar. Just as sometimes, litigants take a drink of water simply because they are thirsty.

 

Not in JJ's court of course, where a simple pot of water is elevated to the rank of infallible tool for lie detection.

it's all in the timing of the need for water. . Worst is when it looks like you're trying to buy time to recall a previous statement or to try and decipher just where JJ is going with her line of questioning.Better is to drink unobtrusively when the other party is being questioned. Best case scenario, you wet your whistle BEFORE entering the courtroom of JUDGE JUDY.

[AngelaHunter 44,618]

JJ: "And what happened after you burst into flames?"

[DoctorK 4,946]

From Miss "Sunshine Hunter" (really!) on one of today's reruns:

 

He made derogative remarks about me.

[AZChristian 69,484]

He made derogative remarks about me.

 

According to Merriam-Webster, this one is real (although I've not seen it before).  http://www.merriam-webster.com/thesaurus/derogative

[QuelleC 2,508]

Filth!  Filth! Filth!

[iwasish 51,123]

Smutch! Filth! Filth! Filth!

[zillabreeze 8,607]

"Schmutz". Some Yiddish words are so much more descriptive (and fun to say) than the English counterpart!

When I was perusing a Yiddish guide, I didn't find "kerfuffle". I had only heard it from JJ and always assumed it, too, was Yiddish. It is actually Scottish in origin.

[iwasish 51,123]

"Schmutz". Some Yiddish words are so much more descriptive (and fun to say) than the English counterpart!

When I was perusing a Yiddish guide, I didn't find "kerfuffle". I had only heard it from JJ and always assumed it, too, was Yiddish. It is actually Scottish in origin.

Thanks! I had it right, but my iPad "corrected" it! Damn you auto correct!