S10.E04: Internet Marketing Video

[Intuition]

I used to complain that this show was becoming a parody of itself.  Now it's a parody of a sham of a parody of itself.  It has morphed away from its original premise so far and so grotesquely that it bears absolutely no resemblance to anything to do with finding a Food Network Star.  Now we have challenges that don't only have nothing to do with cooking, but also make the contestants make complete asses of themselves.  The entire episode was an exercise in product placement purely for the benefit of their advertisers. 

 

This was the episode in which I can pinpoint the moment that Cowboy Lenny officially became more annoying than "Pah Stahl" from last season.  It was just about at the predicted time, too.  I knew it wouldn't be long until I found him completely awful.  The sad part about it is that there seem to be a few decent contestants this season.  Too bad the show is not showcasing their talent one single bit.

 

Also, the judging is bearing even less resemblance to what is shown on the screen than last season.  I thought Aryen was much better than either Emma or Loreal.  I am sure they didn't want to send either of them home, so they had to find a new reason to send someone else home.  When they left it up to Bobby to break the tie I knew Aryen was going home because at least Chris can cook and Bobby would appreciate that.  From what we have heard about Aryen, she wasn't as good a cook as Chris is.

 

Also, was it only me or did the Cuban guy cut his beard down a little?  I think it's a significant improvement in his appearance.  I'm wondering why nothing was said about it.  Perhaps TPTB made him trim it.

 

I agree with whoever said that this series has officially jumped the shark.

Edited June 24, 2014 by Intuition

[RealityGal]

This was the episode in which I can pinpoint the moment that Cowboy Lenny officially became more annoying than "Pah Stahl" from last season.  It was just about at the predicted time, too.  I knew it wouldn't be long until I found him completely awful.  The sad part about it is that there seem to be a few decent contestants this season.  Too bad the show is not showcasing their talent one single bit.

 

Also, the judging is bearing even less resemblance to what is shown on the screen than last season.  I thought Aryen was much better than either Emma or Loreal.  I am sure they didn't want to send either of them home, so they had to find a new reason to send someone else home.  When they left it up to Bobby to break the tie I knew Aryen was going home because at least Chris can cook and Bobby would appreciate that.  From what we have heard about Aryen, she wasn't as good a cook as Chris is.

 

Also, was it only me or did the Cuban guy cut his beard down a little?  I think it's a significant improvement in his appearance.  I'm wondering why nothing was said about it.  Perhaps TPTB made him trim it.

 

I agree with whoever said that this series has officially jumped the shark.

 

To be fair, I think Orion's cooking was right on par with Kenny's (yeah, I know I'm wrong, but it feels so right to spell it that way!)  Her food was either bland or super hot without any actual flavor.  I was fine with her leaving, but they should have had her leave on a cooking challenge.  Having her leave on a personality based challenge was silly, because the ONLY thing she had was personality!  It just makes no sense.

 

As for Ruben's beard, he did trim it, but I don't know, I felt like he was gonna look A LOT better with less facial hair, he only looked marginally better to me.  He has big teeth.  I wonder what he would look like with the thing totally shaved.

 

You really think he is worse than "Pah Stahl?"  Those are some harsh words!  :)

[Intuition]

 

To be fair, I think Orion's cooking was right on par with Kenny's (yeah, I know I'm wrong, but it feels so right to spell it that way!)  Her food was either bland or super hot without any actual flavor.  I was fine with her leaving, but they should have had her leave on a cooking challenge.  Having her leave on a personality based challenge was silly, because the ONLY thing she had was personality!  It just makes no sense.

 

I agree.  It seems like they're sending people home not based on how they're performing in the challenges, but how much they like them overall.

 

 

You really think he is worse than "Pah Stahl?"  Those are some harsh words!  :)

 

Yeah, well, whenever anyone crosses the line from eye rolling and chants of "shut your pie hole, Pie Stahl" into full blown mortification with cries of "my eyes", "my eyes" and "make it stop", "make it stop" coming from the living room, I think that's cause for calling them "worse"!  :)

[cooksdelight]

I remember Alton tweeting, hard and often, for Justin and Damaris during their seasons. I don't tweet, but has anyone noticed who Alton seems to be favoring this year?

[Johnny Dollar]

I've been trying to think of who Sarah reminds me of, but I'm drawing a blank. It could be an actress or a fellow fame whore. Can anyone help me out?

Since Lenny the Cowboy is this year's Rodney the Pieman, maybe we should start calling him Cow Pie.

[cooksdelight]

Sarah reminds me of Danushka. Not real bright, crushing on Bobby, weird facial expressions.

[Aquarius]

I think that Christopher could totally do a stand and stir show, like Tyler Florence's show. It is something that I would watch. I think that I could learn something from him.

 

My husband and I had a discussion about Christopher last night.  My husband likes him.  I think he's a decent cook but there's something about him that just makes me think he's not TV material.  I used Tyler as an example of my point - it's not Christopher's low key personality that makes him problematic for me.  The best I can describe it is a lack of interest and enthusiasm for the subject material.  Tyler is low key but he is enthusiastic about cooking.  He really wants to show you how to make his dishes.  You get the feeling from him that you can do it successfully, too, because he has a way of encouraging the viewer as he talks them through it.  I just haven't seen that with Christopher.  I have no doubt the man can cook, but I do doubt he can make me watch and get excited about trying what he's shown me.

[Bella]

I mostly agree. Christopher is very clearly a talented cook, and he is very clearly passionate about cooking. However, he doesn't draw people in to share that passion. 

 

I felt like he showed who he was when he ducked during the video and didn't want to be on camera. Being on camera is what the competition is all about. He should have relished the opportunity! In that sense, Pageant Girl and Loreal complaining about their lack of screen time showed them to be better competitors. Not that I want either of them to go far - I don't like either of them. But they had the "right" attitude about being on screen. 

[JTMacc99]

I agree.  It seems like they're sending people home not based on how they're performing in the challenges, but how much they like them overall.

I have no problem with that. And if the challenges give us some sort of insight into whether or not I should like them overall, I guess that's the way I need to roll with this show. If I'm completely honest with myself, I get a better sense of whether or not I like a person from the side interviews than I ever do from the cooking or camera challenges.

 

I look at the way I choose which shows I'll watch during the weekend morning cooking blocks, and it has very little to do with what any of the individuals are actually making, and very much to do with whether or not I like watching the person on TV. If I want a good recipe for something, I can find 100 versions of it on the internet in 30 seconds on my phone.

[needschocolate]

I never watch cooking shows, so I don't care if any of these people can cook or if they have a good tv personality or if they can make me want to eat a candy bar.  I do not care who wins, but I do have opinions about who I would like to go home (I want the annoying ones and/or boring ones gone first).  I watch this show for the competitions and to get laughs from reading all the snarky comments here.  So, while I think the whole "viral video" challenge is absolutely ridiculous in terms of what the show says it is trying to accomplish (finding a food network star, for those of you who have forgotten), it was fine to have on tv while I did other stuff. 
 

Did Orion's "tip" include "cut the peel off the pineapple?" or was I hearing things?

I thought her tip was about how to cut the rind off a pineapple, but they didn't show us what she was doing (or I just wasn't looking at the right time), so I have no idea if she was very good at it. 

 

From what I remember about the tips, I thought all of them were things most people already know.

[cooksdelight]

I was really hoping Lenny would show us how to skin and cook a rattlesnake. I mean, isn't that what a cowboy cook would demo on a cooking show? LOL

[John M]

I mostly agree. Christopher is very clearly a talented cook, and he is very clearly passionate about cooking. However, he doesn't draw people in to share that passion. 

 

I felt like he showed who he was when he ducked during the video and didn't want to be on camera. Being on camera is what the competition is all about. He should have relished the opportunity! In that sense, Pageant Girl and Loreal complaining about their lack of screen time showed them to be better competitors. Not that I want either of them to go far - I don't like either of them. But they had the "right" attitude about being on screen. 

 

Appearing in a product placement internet ad for junk food involving a half-naked ridiculous and obnoxious caricature of a cowboy as envisioned through Liberace on LSD has nothing to do with sharing your passion for cooking on TV. I don't think he ducked anything but sacrificing some dignity for a cooking show that clearly doesn't even pretend to be a legitimate competition for on-air cooking talent anymore.

 

I'm still going to watch the show because I hate myself but I'm hardly going to fault a guy for not playing along with something that clearly went completely off the rails this season even by what had become very forgiving standards.

[ramble]

I'm still going to watch the show because I hate myself

Ha! This sums it up for nicely. I guess I can pacify myself with the knowledge that I've watched worse dreck than this. It used to be entertaining & occasionally educational, then it was entertaining & fun to snark on, then the snarking was more making fun of & now it's like teasing the dumb kid. It almost feels mean it's so easy. But I keep watching & laughing at, not with, the show.

The more LBH hates on Christopher the more I like him. It's a passive aggressive form of support.

Was the vagina table of decision missing this episode or did I just miss it? I wasn't giving the show my full attention.

The new Payday ads with the blurred body bits implying Paydays have more than just nuts gross me out. However I think Lenny's taped up hairy backed Payday monster of flavor is worse. That has to be a reverse accomplishment. They managed to make a horrible ad look not quite as horrible with their own horribleness.

[TiffanyNichelle]

I think he is probably just a conservative and straitlaced guy personality wise that takes his career very seriously and is trapped in a show of foolishness with these whacky characters who really don't seem to know much about food and just doesn't know how to deal so he takes a very defensive posture. It seems like a reasonable question to ask didn't he see the show before but I think we are all in agreement that this season is even more ridiculous than usual.

I have no sympathy for Christopher if he thinks he's too above being on this show. It's a reality show that he chose to be on. He sold his soul for a shot at television stardom. He can't start acting snooty and above it all. Get the hell out of here if that's his opinion.

[John M]

I have no sympathy for Christopher if he thinks he's too above being on this show. It's a reality show that he chose to be on. He sold his soul for a shot at television stardom. He can't start acting snooty and above it all. Get the hell out of here if that's his opinion.

If people could just leave a reality TV show when they realized it was going to be a train wreck that was going to probably make them look horrible there would probably be a lot less reality TV, he likely has a contract with major penalties if he refuses to play along, he is there until they tell him he has permission to leave. I don't think he is snooty and above it all for thinking what this show has become is completely unprofessional and undignified, this season is a shocking new low for the series as far as professionalism and how seriously the producers take it. The guy make a mistake, a lot of them probably did but at the same time they likely didn't have any more reason to expect that people like Lenny and Chris would be rewarded for not being able to cut a pepper and stripping half-naked and being taped up with candy bars on a competition ostensibly to host a cooking show than we did.

Edited June 24, 2014 by John M

[TiffanyNichelle]

He signed a contract to come on a reality game show in order to win a job as a tv host. This isn't a normal job interview where you can go "nope I'm not going to debase myself." and just leave. This is a silly reality show competition where every episode has a stupid gimmick that you have to get through in order to get to the end. If he wanted to do something with a little more dignity he should have gone to Top Chef where the prize isn't a tv show but the respect of your peers.

[John M]

People attempting to host a TV cooking show should just assume they are going to have to debase themselves? I mean, sure, they aren't auditioning for the PBS News Hour but it's not Party Down South either, I don't see why he should have just assumed he was going to have to deal with a half-naked fat guy with candy bars taped to him making weird faces and sounds.

[jumper sage]

He signed a contract to come on a reality game show in order to win a job as a tv host.

You know what TiffanyNichelle?  You are dead on!  I need to remember that.

[lottiedottie]

Much to my dismay, my children wanted to rewatch this episode. I tried to block it out. They (being 9 and 12) thought it was funny. I still hated it on second viewing.

 

Sidebar: Does Ruben kind of resemble Jake Gyllenhal or is that just my little fantasy? (He an roll his r's in my ear all day long) I also think that Christopher resembles Dave Foley a bit.

[RealityGal]

He signed a contract to come on a reality game show in order to win a job as a tv host. This isn't a normal job interview where you can go "nope I'm not going to debase myself." and just leave. This is a silly reality show competition where every episode has a stupid gimmick that you have to get through in order to get to the end. If he wanted to do something with a little more dignity he should have gone to Top Chef where the prize isn't a tv show but the respect of your peers.

 

People attempting to host a TV cooking show should just assume they are going to have to debase themselves? I mean, sure, they aren't auditioning for the PBS News Hour but it's not Party Down South either, I don't see why he should have just assumed he was going to have to deal with a half-naked fat guy with candy bars taped to him making weird faces and sounds.

 

I actually think you both have valid points.  He did sign a contract for a show that hasn't been known for its high brow challenges.  The show has been very clear that they are looking for a personality, probably even more so than a good cook (although they won't say it, but they sent Luka home before Kenny who wanted to put a pancake in a cup, and that tells me all I need to know).  So yes, he should have expected the show to be somewhat wacky.  At the same time, I think there is wacky, like a cutthroat food challenge, and then there is "taping Paydays to a fat guy" wacky, which may have been unforseeable.  Even in previous seasons if they had a personality challenge there was at least a place for someone to be a cooking expert and not have to be too over the top.  The YouTube challenge had no place for someone with cooking expertise, it was just about making yourself a caricature.

 

I wonder if Chris didn't send in auditions to both Top Chef and Food Network Star?  I mean, Top Chef gets the very best of the best IMO, so even with his heavy resume he may not have been able to get on Top Chef, but his resume as an actual chef would look amazing to someone at Food Network Star because frankly they are casting...well...they are casting Kenny.

[cooksdelight]

Up to this shit of a season, there have been video challenges in teams or singles, but they involved cooking something. I don't blame Christopher for being embarrassed. I would be too, not knowing that I'd signed up for Clown College.

[grittykitty]

This shitshow has hit a new low.  I had to ask myself, what the hell am I watching? 

This was such a stupid episode from beginning to end.  An absolute train wreck.

But what's with the judges, like Alton fucking Brown thinking Lenny's the greatest thing because "he'll do anything to win".

WTF? We don't want to see this stupidity! It all feels so "Dance, monkey, dance", it's second-hand embarrassing!

[schnauzergirl]

Well, we do have to remember this is no longer Food Network -- it's the Guy Fieri Network and all that involves.  

[Padma]

People attempting to host a TV cooking show should just assume they are going to have to debase themselves? I mean, sure, they aren't auditioning for the PBS News Hour but it's not Party Down South either, I don't see why he should have just assumed he was going to have to deal with a half-naked fat guy with candy bars taped to him making weird faces and sounds.

 

I agree that he should be prepared for a little bit of debasement (it is, after all, the home of Paula Deen and Guy Fieri), but not to this level. This episode had nothing to do with cooking and the skits were gross or stupid or both. Also pointless. I liked Christopher for not wanting to be involved in it even if it meant he would go home. At some point, someone needs to say--I'm not your puppet here! I'm not going to be made a fool of for your amusement in the hope of getting 6 shows on your network!

 

I don't mind that POV. (By the way, do they even talk about "culinary point of view" any more? I mean, when your sole purpose is hawking Reeses and Mounds (I'd turned away, I guess, by the third) and pimping YouTube/Google, what in the world does that have to do with anything you signed up for? They didn't even make a -dish- using the candies.

 

I think I've seen every season of this show and this one has far and away the worst challenges. To see Alton and Bobby--even Giada who seems to pride herself on her cooking and program--keeping a straight face while critiquing that nonsense... oh, where's Tony Bourdain when you need him?  Because that episode was perfect for illustrating--to absurd extent--what is wrong with the "Food Network" today.

 

Oh, and Kenny -can't- be as bad as Payh Stayhl, can he? I hated Rodney the Pie Man from episode 2 and never stopped feeling it whenever he came on camera. Kenny I disliked the minute he showed up in his OTT costume on ep 1, but have come around a little since, since he seems actually able to cook. He may be as dumb as Rodney, but he doesn't seem--so far--to be as arrogant. So, while I'm not rooting for him to win, there's still a chance that I won't hate him.

[RealityGal]

I agree that he should be prepared for a little bit of debasement (it is, after all, the home of Paula Deen and Guy Fieri), but not to this level. This episode had nothing to do with cooking and the skits were gross or stupid or both. Also pointless. I liked Christopher for not wanting to be involved in it even if it meant he would go home. At some point, someone needs to say--I'm not your puppet here! I'm not going to be made a fool of for your amusement in the hope of getting 6 shows on your network!

 

I don't mind that POV. (By the way, do they even talk about "culinary point of view" any more? I mean, when your sole purpose is hawking Reeses and Mounds (I'd turned away, I guess, by the third) and pimping YouTube/Google, what in the world does that have to do with anything you signed up for? They didn't even make a -dish- using the candies.

 

I think I've seen every season of this show and this one has far and away the worst challenges. To see Alton and Bobby--even Giada who seems to pride herself on her cooking and program--keeping a straight face while critiquing that nonsense... oh, where's Tony Bourdain when you need him?  Because that episode was perfect for illustrating--to absurd extent--what is wrong with the "Food Network" today.

 

Oh, and Kenny -can't- be as bad as Payh Stayhl, can he? I hated Rodney the Pie Man from episode 2 and never stopped feeling it whenever he came on camera. Kenny I disliked the minute he showed up in his OTT costume on ep 1, but have come around a little since, since he seems actually able to cook. He may be as dumb as Rodney, but he doesn't seem--so far--to be as arrogant. So, while I'm not rooting for him to win, there's still a chance that I won't hate him.

 

I agree, although I think there might be some confusion between Kenny and Lenny.  Lenny = Rhinestone Cowboy, Kenny = guy who tried to put a pancake in a cup and serve it as breakfast.  To this point, IMO, Lenny is not as bad as Pah Stahl.  Cats clawing at chalkboards is not as bad as pah stahl to me.

[Lillybee]

I don't think that they should have sent anyone for because they failed in a challenge that had absolutely nothing to do with being a cooking show host.

[needschocolate]

I don't think that they should have sent anyone for because they failed in a challenge that had absolutely nothing to do with being a cooking show host.

That makes perfect sense, except... if they followed this logic, the season would be 23 weeks long.

[Neurochick]

 

I don't watch personalities. I don't care for back stories of cooking at grandma's knees. Clearly I'm not who this show is after.

 

That is the one thing I have realized about the Food Network.  They don't care about my demographic.  They don't care about people who want to learn about cooking.  This channel is about show and production and personalities, which is why I stopped watching this channel and turned to PBS.

Edited June 26, 2014 by Neurochick

[Lamb18]

What happened to Loreal?  At the beginning of the season I thought she was this confident, kind of cool girl who is a butcher.  I thought that's an interesting point of view.  As the weeks go on she seems to have a personality disintegration.  The confident sort of hip image has deteriorated to a silly airhead image.  I was wondering if she was on something during this last episode.  She gets a criticism from Giada and responds "Wah-wah."  ???  Was she taking sips from the helium tank?  She almost was incoherent when talking. I feel like she doesn't have any respect for herself.  As annoying as some of the others are, I still feel they have at least little self-respect.

[Johnny Dollar]

I just saw a repeat of the Throwdown episode episode with Pah Stahl on the Cooking Channel. He didn't seem nearly as much of a simpleton as he did last season. Of course, he lost to Bobby because his quiche looked like something my dog would puke up after eating too much table food.

[Day2Day]

Ohhhhhh yeh....  practically all of us have had that experience! Usually on the carpet, too... even though the tiled floor is so close by.

[RealityGal]

Ohhhhhh yeh....  practically all of us have had that experience! Usually on the carpet, too... even though the tiled floor is so close by.

 

Bartender!  That dog's had enough!

[Aquarius]

Ohhhhhh yeh....  practically all of us have had that experience! Usually on the carpet, too... even though the tiled floor is so close by.

 

Seriously!  What the hell is up with that??  I've seen my cats leave the kitchen (tiled) to go into the dining room (carpeted) when they were heaving.  After many attempts to get them back onto the tile before the bomb hits, only to be juked every time, I've just given up.  I keep a lot of carpet cleaner on hand.

[backformore]

Did Giada fairly spit "Christopher" when asked her choice to go or what?  Wowza

My theory is that they look for contestants to fill certain roles.  Chistopher and Luca were both in the "cute guy"  category.  One of them had to go, and Giada got out-voted, so her fave left.   She's pissed about it, and does not want Christopher to do well.

 

 

 

[SusannahTaylor3]

As if we didn't hear enough "pah guy" this and "pah guy" that last year.... are the judges actually encouraging Loreal to incorporate the "I'm a butcher" story into every on-air appearance????  Its getting old and stale very fast!

I can only speculate.... BUT, I think if we all went to Miami, we would not be surrounded by people who ALL have motor-mouth-rapid-fire speech patterns. However, I will say "thanks" for the major beard trim.

He'll I can't even say pah or look at pah after last season. I am soooo glad he didn't win and I was thinking for a while that he would. To be fair though, I don't even watch Damaris' show either.

[firedancer41]

This episode made Food Network to cooking what MTV is to videos.