S10.E04: Internet Marketing Video

[xaxat]

Alton: "I can't unsee that!"

 

He's so right.

 

I though the idea of creating these videos was to make people want to eat those candy bars. Lenny should have been sent home for destroying any appetite I might have had.

[cooksdelight]

Even though it would be ripping off another FN show -- but they do that every day of the week -- they could have had the contestants use the candy bars in an inventive way in a mostly savory dish. At least they'd be cooking something. Anything.

[FormerMod-a1]

I have only been half watching the show this season, so I am glad to see I'm not the only one that thought that was a whole lot of crazy last night.   Dear me!  

[Bella]

Even though it would be ripping off another FN show -- but they do that every day of the week -- they could have had the contestants use the candy bars in an inventive way in a mostly savory dish. At least they'd be cooking something. Anything.

 

Like Chopped. "In your Mystery Basket, you have Reese's, chorizo, canned asparagus, and fresh garlic." Oh, wait, that's next week.

 

They've run out of ideas.

[phoenix780]

Even though it would be ripping off another FN show -- but they do that every day of the week -- they could have had the contestants use the candy bars in an inventive way in a mostly savory dish. At least they'd be cooking something. Anything.

 

They could've done that and still made a commercial, maybe riffed on Bobby Flay's yogurt commercial, where the "joke" is essentially that you don't need to be a chef because the packaged product is so awesome.  I mean...none of the contestants thought to incorporate cooking somehow, which was interesting (I guess that's the word).  

 

But...this episode wasn't really about POV's and cooking, was it?  It was testing their dedication to the cause of being on FN- like they said to the cowboy.  And I guess from a business perspective that's not such a bad thing to do.  Wouldn't want someone winning who has an attitude/ego/self esteem.  Then you couldn't use 'em any way you needed to.

[ari333]

I actively loathe Sarah Pageant Girl now. And don't think I didn't catch the backhanded compliment she gave Monotone NPR Emma, "I really like how Emma bit into the tomato. My grandma used to do that.". I have a neighbor who does that shit. "Oh, I love your shirt. My 92  year old great aunt has one just like it and she's a real hit at the Senior Center."

 

Loreal Rosie the Riveter Ricardo works my last nerve for some reason.

 

Lenny, what is, "soft, scrubby water?"   

 

Lenny asks and answers his own questions like Donald Rumsfeld. "Christopher needs to come out of his shell. Can he do it? I don't think so."

This show has gone off the rails.... and not in the good way. hee.

 

Christopher seemed totally humiliated by that Frankenstein skit.

 

Emma and Rueben speak Spanish and Rueben-"cito" is actually Latino. If that wasn't the most racist bit in recent FN history since Paula Deen (is she FN?) IDK what is.

Yikes. Holy Mother.

 

I could have done without the closeup shot of Lenny's tummytummy. Not that having a tummy is a crime, but it was too much information for me.

Edited June 23, 2014 by ari333

[Bella]

 

Loreal Rosie the Riveter Ricardo works my last nerve for some reason.

 

Oh, gawd, I positively loathe her! If it came down to her vs Pageant Girl, I'd happily give PG the win. Then again, I could say that about any of them. The "hey, look at me, I'm a high-energy, cute, girl butcher!" thing is annoying me to no end.

[Uncle Benzene]

Production meeting the following day...

 

Tusch: So do you think these fools got the hint?

Sooz: Nope. Pretty sure it went right over their heads.

Bobby: Do you think we ought to just go ahead and break it to 'em?

Alton: Oh please please please let me do it!

Tusch, Sooz, Bobby: *shrug*

Alton: YES! TO THE GIANT VAG TABLE OF DOOM!

- - - - -

Alton: So the reason we've called you in is because we don't think you really appreciate the reasons why we chose to put you through those particular challenges yesterday. We need you to know that whichever one of you numbskulls actually ends up "winning" this thing is pretty much gonna be shilling candy bars to an iPhone for as long as we're contractually obligated to keep you around. Because you all suck. I mean REALLY suck. And none of us really give a shit anyway.

Sooz: You're gonna have to provide your own phone, by the way. Which one of you has the best phone? Does it have the YouTube app?

Sarah: *arms flailing wildly* Mine does! Mine does! I also clearly have the most original and well-developed POV: World peace.

Lenny: Now wait just a gosh-darned cotton-pickin' minute there, partner! Less'n I done gone all wonky in the thinkmeat, I do believe y'all told us we'd get an honest-to-goodness tee vee show.

Tusch: IT'S A LIMITED-RUN WEB SERIES! THAT COUNTS! I'VE ALREADY RUN IT PAST LEGAL!

Lenny: D'aaaaaw, ya double-crossin' varmints! Can we at least negotiate on the product? How 'bout ranch dressin'?

Sooz: We already have Melissa D'Arabian for that.

Loreal: Pre-packaged deli meats?

Tusch: Mauro's got that covered.

Emma: Microwaveable frozen entrees?

Sooz: Ina.

Kenny: *pops head in from backstage* Breakfast trifle? Eh? Eh?

Tusch: Ugh. Aunt Sandy.

Alton: Look, you're all still missing the point. We gave you a golden opportunity to prove that you could be as culturally-significant to 21st Century America as Rebecca Black, Gangnam Style, or Double Rainbow Guy. And you blew it! None of those videos were the least bit clever, funny or interesting. It was all just a bunch of inane prattle!

Bobby: Alright settle down there, Mister Good Eats. Two words: sock puppets.

Alton: Oh, bother.

Giada: Sorry I'm late, guys. I was giving Luca a big face full of mentoring for the Star Salivation. What'd I miss?

Sooz: Dammit! You were supposed to text me!

Christopher Lynch: We've got a saying down in New Orleans... "Meh." Seriously, people. Do. Not. Care. How much longer am I required to be here, anyway?

Chris Kyler: Yo can I have his spot? Like, I'd still keep my own spot, but take his spot too? Two spots, no problem, I got this. Are the cameras rolling right now? Gimme a candy bar, I'm 'bout to rock this out y'aaaaall! Alright, ready? Let's do this. Hi, I'm Chris and this nougat is gonna BLOW YOUR

Alton: *clicks stopwatch*

Chris Kyler: Damn.

Lenny: I could take my shirt back off if'n ya...

Giada, Sooz, Tusch: NO, THANK YOU!

Lenny: I think there might still be half a PayDay stuck down under here somewhere, if any of y'all wanna...

Giada, Sooz, Tusch: NO!!!

Reuben: ManthissucksIcan'tbelieveIshavedmyrighteoushipsterbeardforthistheythinkItalktoofastbutthat'sbullshitI'mjusthighenergyIthoughtthat'swhattheywanted

Sooz: ALRIGHT EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY! Sarah... best phone, right? How's your data plan?

Sarah: THE BEST!!! I also have several strapless evening gowns that I think will really generate a buzz...

Tusch: Whatever. Will you hype the shit out of some Tootsie Rolls?

Sarah: With all my heart!

Tusch: Well alrighty then. I guess you're The Next Food Network Star. Congratulations.

Everybody else: Can we go now?

Tusch: Nope! Six more episodes to shoot!

Everybody else: Guh.

[buttercupia]

::golf clap::

[TiffanyNichelle]

I agree with you, JTMacc99. I didn't hate the episode either. I even kind of liked the Payday clip just for the final line of "unleash the monster flavor". Shame she garbled it. I had a feeling she was going to go home because none of the judges liked her food this whole time.

Edited June 23, 2014 by TiffanyNichelle

[cooksdelight]

I keep thinking that this is some sort of bad dream. That this isn't really the REAL show, it's just a few thrown in to flip everyone out and they'll get to the more serious stuff soon.

[NYGirl]

If Sarah PG doesn't go soon I may just give up on this show.  I really have hated her since the first episode.  I was worried Christopher was going to go because the judges don't like him at all.  Well Giada for sure.

 

I laughed at the stupid monster video and I enjoyed the girl that actually went.   She had me laughing the most.

[JTMacc99]

I even kind of liked the Payday clip just for the final line of "unleash the monster flavor". Shame she garbled it. I had a feeling she was going to go home because none of the judges liked her food this whole time.

Which is in line with my expectations from this show. The judges will eventually toss out the ones who can't cook, so I'm more invested in finding somebody I won't mind watching on TV. 

 

I'll throw one positive thought towards this challenge. At least it forced them to be in front of a camera doing something that wasn't teaching, lecturing, or telling stories about grandma. Even with the ridiculous premise, we got to see them have a chance to display some of their own personality (by seeing which ones took the opportunity to do so.)

[cooksdelight]

I, too, am more interested in being able to watch the host of their own show. Are they likeable? Can I understand what they are saying? Are the recipes reasonably easy to prepare?

Martha Stewart made millions by being pleasant and showing nifty things you can make at home, and her recipes were different. I still make her version of lemon curd. I don't see anyone even coming close in this bunch to being someone I could watch for a half hour.

Lenny, maybe, depends on if they let him outside to cook.

Emma, no way, her voice puts me to sleep.

Christopher, maybe, if he gets over his ego trip.

Chris, nope, too much like Urkel

Sarah, no way in hell.

Loreal, again, no way in hell.

I can't remember the others, so there's that. I wanted to like Loreal, and I did in the beginning, then she started driving the pity train and I got off.

[John M]

Chris slicing that pepper, again, I'm not a chef, I'm not an amateur chef, I don't even like cooking and he was cutting that pepper like he was trying to demonstrating bad knifes on an infomercial.

 

Ruben got rid of some of that ridiculous beard and hello hottie. Shut up Lenny and put your damn shirt back on, ugh.

Edited June 23, 2014 by John M

[ari333]

Did Orion's "tip" include "cut the peel off the pineapple?" or was I hearing things? If so, then I have a tip. When you want to eat a banana, peel it first. Ok then. Point me to the show. I'm ready for my closeup. [/snort]

Edited June 23, 2014 by ari333

[John M]

They could've done that and still made a commercial, maybe riffed on Bobby Flay's yogurt commercial, where the "joke" is essentially that you don't need to be a chef because the packaged product is so awesome.  I mean...none of the contestants thought to incorporate cooking somehow, which was interesting (I guess that's the word).

 

 

I always cringe at that commercial because as he is extolling the virtues of fresh fruit they basically just say buy this preserved shit anyways. I get it, I don't have a sophisticated palate, I'm not above eating preserved fruit but when I see that commercial all I can think is Bobby Flay is telling me to stop being so damn lazy and cut up some fresh fruit from the grocery store.

 

 

Christopher seemed totally humiliated by that Frankenstein skit.

 

Oh he was, it was palpable and I felt so bad for him. He kind of reminded me of myself in that. I'm not a shy guy but there is like a built in part of my personality where I am like physically incapable of letting go of my inhibitions and acting in a way that could be described as silly. I wish it wasn't that way but it is so I am sure he was to the point of being physically ill.

[Latsmile]

So does Lenny have a naked lady tattooed on his arm?  I got a fleeting look but it appeared to be a human figure and it was blurred about where the breasts would be.  Perhaps I'm totally off and it was a brand name that wasn't part of the episode's "message".  But if it's the former, that wouldn't quite go with the wide-eyed, man-child,  gee-wiz, innocent he seems to be playing. 

 

Yup, these people would do anything to be on TV, they just proved that.  Kinda pathetic and I feel a bit dirty for watching.

[RealityGal]

Did Orion's "tip" include "cut the peel off the pineapple?" or was I hearing things? If so, then I have a tip. When you want to eat a banana, peel it first. Ok then. Point me to the show. I'm ready for my closeup. [/snort]

just like grandma told her I'll bet!

[mlp]

 

Cooks Country/ America's Test Kitchen over on PBS.  Sadly, I know nothing about Christopher Kimball's grandmother.

 

You must not subscribe to his magazines or you'd know everything about his entire family, heritage and the history of rural Vermont.  Happily, he confines all that to his essays.

 

Back on topic, I agree with almost everyone who said that the PayDaystein video was the best (of three bad videos) and the date night one was the worst.  I just assumed and hoped after watching that either Sarah or Loreal would be sent home.  They were both terrible.

 

Sarah seems to get the lion's share of TH time.  I have no idea if that's significant but I'd like to see far less of her forced enthusiasm.  I'd like to see Loreal not at all.  I don't think TV personalities have to be glamorous or even above average in attractiveness but they shouldn't make you cringe. 

[potatoradio]

 

Did Orion's "tip" include "cut the peel off the pineapple?" or was I hearing things? If so, then I have a tip. When you want to eat a banana, peel it first. Ok then. Point me to the show. I'm ready for my closeup. [/snort]

 

That's what I got, too. So, did your grandmother teach you to peel bananas? Or did she explain how to use the peels for stock because no food was ever wasted in her poorer than dirt household? Make sure you get that down before your close up selfie.

 

"Just using the word 'sick' gave me just enough of a hint to your personality." Um, WTF, Alton? Hearing someone use a trendy slang word, to me, means they're using a trendy slang word. Don't get me wrong...I don't need a whole dramatic monologue of how she grew up using the most modern slang terms on her fishing boats, but that was a serious reach there, pal.

 

And, just so I'm clear, Lenny hams it up and it's great; Orion/Arioan hams it up and gets reprimanded for Igor-speak. Well, her hamminess was funnier (and I use that term very loosely) to me than Lenny's. I've seen Lenny's OTT hamminess far too often already, thanks.

 

Hope YouTube and the candy company learned their lessons about trying to advertise during this show. Let's see: I never want to view a YouTube video because those were all so bad. I am grossed out when I think of Payday because I can't unsee them taped to Lenny's sweaty pale nastiness. I am also repulsed by Reese's because I can't unsee Ruben breathing heavily into Nicole's face (all I thought was: breath mint!!). And the Almond Joy/Mounds....uh, some lame joke about a handshake and now women are apparently dating candy bars in addition to having sex with them (see York, Lindt, etc.). I am so not buying into any of that shite. And I'm a monster (pun intended) candy eater. Idiots.

 

 

[JTMacc99]

I, too, am more interested in being able to watch the host of their own show. Are they likeable? Can I understand what they are saying? Are the recipes reasonably easy to prepare?

Martha Stewart made millions by being pleasant and showing nifty things you can make at home, and her recipes were different. I still make her version of lemon curd. I don't see anyone even coming close in this bunch to being someone I could watch for a half hour.

Lenny, maybe, depends on if they let him outside to cook.

Emma, no way, her voice puts me to sleep.

Christopher, maybe, if he gets over his ego trip.

Chris, nope, too much like Urkel

Sarah, no way in hell.

Loreal, again, no way in hell.

I can't remember the others, so there's that. I wanted to like Loreal, and I did in the beginning, then she started driving the pity train and I got off.

The two you left out were eliminated this week Aryen and New Jersey girl Nicole. The latter is my favorite of the bunch. I'm still unclear as to whether or not she can pull off the cooking part of a half-hour show, but I am confident that I wouldn't mind looking at her while she gave it a shot.

[cooksdelight]

I guess I forgot Nicole because I can't think of a single thing she's made.

[Aquarius]

I don't follow anyone on YouTube.  But do people actually make videos like that and they go viral?  The only "viral" videos I've ever seen are of things like babies blowing bubbles and French bulldog puppies who don't like bedtime.  I simply cannot imagine hundreds of thousands of people wanting to see anything like those three videos.

 

I am among those surprised that YouTube has headquarters and executives and the whole bit.

 

There were many parts of this episode I wish I could unsee.  Candy bars duct taped to anyone is a pass for me.  Candy bars duct taped to Lenny's hairy chest and back is the stuff of nightmares.  Also, Lenny asking the makeup artist if he was "glowing" and puckering up for the camera because "that's the way those girls do the selfies."  Egads.  How did I manage any sleep last night?

 

Sadly, as stupid as the challenge was, I think out of everyone Aryen rose to the challenge the most.  So of course in typical bizarro-world fashion, she gets the boot.  Don't get me wrong, she should go at some point, but I fail to see how this was her week, what with Dr. Paydaystein(tm mlp) and his lemme-show-you-how-to-clean-a-pepper tip.  And I had no problem at all understanding Aryen's last line either.

 

In other news, who knew the Geico Caveman was such a nice looking fella under all that facial hair?  Although, yeah, he trims that rat's nest only to put on a fake version for the video.  WTF???  And I love me some Nicole, but comic timing that was not.

 

One more thing.  Did Giada fairly spit "Christopher" when asked her choice to go or what?  Wowza.

[ModernWhimsy]

Aryen/orion/Arian/oryain/arayan could never be a star. Her name is too...Oneders. /That Thing You Do reference

UncleB- that was funnier than the whole season

I still don't know their names...not sure if this is a Me Problem or a Them Problem. I was pretty irritated last night post episode but now I've settled back into pleasant annoyance! I mean, it can't get worse than yesterday amirite?

[mlp]

 

"Just using the word 'sick' gave me just enough of a hint to your personality." Um, WTF, Alton? Hearing someone use a trendy slang word, to me, means they're using a trendy slang word. Don't get me wrong...I don't need a whole dramatic monologue of how she grew up using the most modern slang terms on her fishing boats, but that was a serious reach there, pal.

 

I find Alton a bit of a prig (a big bit) much of the time but I agreed with him here.  I liked Nicole but, when I heard that, I thought "immature, high school, can't edit for effect....."  She's pretty but she lost a lot of credibility with me. 

 

I don't understand why Christopher rubs people the wrong way.  He's one of the few who is actually a real chef, he's nice looking and he's serious about doing well.  I'm sure he'll be eliminated eventually because he doesn't have the kind of spark that draws people in but I don't find him offensive at all.

[Aquarius]

 I mean, it can't get worse than yesterday amirite?

 

Upon reading that, a shudder like no other went through me.

 

Also, I just wanted to add . . . Emma had the best tip??  Really?  I like Emma, but c'mon, using packaged tomatoes when tomatoes are not in season is not a revelation.  I put that right up there with "take the peel off your pineapple!"

[phoenix780]

Martha Stewart made millions by being pleasant and showing nifty things you can make at home, and her recipes were different. I still make her version of lemon curd. I don't see anyone even coming close in this bunch to being someone I could watch for a half hour.

 

I'm kind of in the opposite place, which is why I was annoyed with this.  I like most of these people.  Not sure I could do a half-hour with them, but I wouldn't mind seeing them on an FN game show- which is a more realistic place for them to land, imho.  These videos didn't even give me a glimpse at their hosting skills.  I'll assume they're all more comfortable on camera now, though.

 

I don't follow anyone on YouTube.  But do people actually make videos like that and they go viral?  The only "viral" videos I've ever seen are of things like babies blowing bubbles and French bulldog puppies who don't like bedtime.  I simply cannot imagine hundreds of thousands of people wanting to see anything like those three videos.

 

I think this kind of overt commercial has a better chance of going viral when there's a celebrity involved- they should have included the mentors.  Or other guests from FN.  Let's see Geoffrey Zakarian shilling candy.  

 

Although...the best chance of getting your message spread seems to be offending someone, and I suppose the winning video would have done that the best.

[RealityGal]

Really Sarah?  You're grandmother used to eat tomatoes,  how is that even relevant/interesting/worth making it past editing?

[smiley13]

 

One more thing.  Did Giada fairly spit "Christopher" when asked her choice to go or what?  Wowza.

Giada really, really does not like Christopher.  Wonder if she made a pass at him and he turned her down?  She is usually all gaga over the nice looking men in the competition.   I admire Christopher for doing his part, but not going over the top with the stupidity of last night.

 

Heaven forbid there actually be someone on the show who is a real chef, looks good on camera and is poised.

[methadonna]

Maybe it was because I had the CC on (which, BTW, consistently referred to it as the INTRANET<---perhaps they knew how far this virus would get?), but I had no problem understanding Arian and actually expected she'd get praised for finally [doing whatever it is Lenny gets praised for every week]. 

 

Conversely, I was expecting the "dating" one to be ripped apart. Of course, I was rooting for a better play on the whole "Mounds don't" part of the slogan , and have Dad not to be meeting the GUYS his daughters were dating, but, instead, after the Almond Joy boyfriend was introduced, firm handshake, etc., the other girl (I'd say Loreal, but you KNOW Sarah would beg to be the LUG!) could have introduced Mounds ..., all,  "No, Dad, it's my girlfriend. You know, Almond Joy's got nuts?"

 

::ducks::

 

OK, maybe not want FN/Hershey wants, but at least there's a SHOT at its having some trait of viral-icity. Or, whatevs.

[Bella]

I thought the dating video was by far the worst concept of them all. It made no sense, it wasn't funny, it said nothing about the product, there was nothing good about it. The Frankenstein video was poorly executed but there was a storyline and a point to it. I had no problem understanding Arian, either. The Reese's one wasn't as good, but it was coherent.

 

If the judging had made sense, I might not be so critical.

[cooksdelight]

According to Alton's blog at FN, he wanted to send Aryen home, Giada was pushing for Christopher, and Bobby cast the deciding vote. I'm not sure what Giada's hatred of Christopher is based on. She jealous, maybe, that he's a real chef? Has worked with some of the heavy hitters? Of all these people, he's got the most experience. And since this didn't involve cooking at all, maybe that team was picked so Giada could campaign for Christopher's ouster.

Because of the three, to me, the PayDay was the lesser of best of a bad bunch.

[bobbyjoe]

Did Alton utter "cray cray?"

 

This whole episode was like being trapped in a room watching your grandparents try and show you how "hip" and "with it" they are.  Cray cray.  Sick.  Selfie. Viral video.  I'm surprised they didn't tell the contestants they had to Twerk.

 

Then, the video that won had humor that could have come from the worst episode ever of "Welcome Back Kotter" or "Chico and the Man."  From 1975.

 

This show isn't just an embarassment to itself, it's actually starting to feel embarassing to even watch.  It feels like "Food Network, honey, you just don't fit in that dress anymore and the kids aren't all doing the macarena these days.  Let's try and wipe some of that heavy makep off your face and maybe, just maybe, we can try and recover some of your dignity."

[RealityGal]

This episode was crazy!  Or as Alton would say, this episode was "cray cray!"  

 

First -  you can't really set out to make a viral video, most of the time viral videos are someone who gets accidentally kicked in the nuts, or its a cat playing a piano, or a cat unrolling a roll of toilet paper, or a cat terrorizing someone.  Actually, if you put a camera on a cat, you'll probably get a viral video at some point.  Regardless, the only video, IMO that would maybe go viral out of the three was the Payday commercial!  Its got over the top characters, it has a fat guy with his shirt off, its hokey and sort of homemade with the scotch tape, its got a wacky concept, its very visual so it gets your attention quickly.  Its the sort of thing that you if you saw it playing on Good Morning America, it would make you unmute the channel to figure out what the hell is going on!

 

Second - is this show ever going to be about cooking?  They did not cook even a bite of food this episode, it was basically one long product placement for three candy bars.

 

Third - At some point Orion was going to go home, she was cannon fodder, but why would they send her home on this challenge where, IMO she did a good job.  They should have sent her home on a cooking challenge since she can't cook.

 

Fourth - Orion's farewell interview made me again realize why this show annoys me.  She was seriously thinking she was going to make it to the end....on a cooking show.....when she can't cook!  Because apparently this show is not about cooking, even to the contestants who are on it.  When she was crying and talking about "I was thinking I was gonna be in the final three and people were gonna vote" I wanted to magically appear and say "bitch you can't even cook!  how the hell were you going to get to the final three!  This is a cooking show!"

 

Fifth - add me to the list of people shocked that YouTube is such a corporate machine.  I always envisioned a couple of sci-fi nerds, geeks and pot smokers who just wanted to make a digital place for people to share their thoughts and ideas.  And they had someone who was in charge of trends?  Geez

 

Sixth - Chris, the black guy is also annoying to me.  I get that this is a competition, but the idea that he would sacrifice having a good concept just so he could get the most airtime seems like a douchebag move.

 

Seventh - Total confusion about the dating video.  So they are dating candy bars, and then they eat their boyfriends while their dad is outside.  And they are dating the candy bars because one is nutty and the other is tall dark and handsome?

[Gregg247]

Remember how, just 1 year ago, people were complaining how every episode of this show involved the contestants cooking and giving tips to audience "focus groups" and how boring that was?  Ah, the good old days....

 

We've now had 2 boring episodes that involved "wacky hi-jinx" rather than cooking and demonstrating their authority in food.  I long for the days when Bob and Suzy would try to pull more food knowledge (and bedtime stories) out of each contestant, with the most experienced 9and talkative) ones moving on to the next rounds.

 

Aryon (sp?) got kicked off last night because they couldn't understand her Igor accent in a "comedy" video.  Unless she was planning on talking like that every time she was on camera, who cares?

[jumper sage]

Oh dear.  What the hell was that?  I can't believe we didn't see any cooking at all.

 

Christopher seemed totally humiliated by that Frankenstein skit.

And rightly so.  Has this bullshit been going on throughout the other seasons or just this season?  This whole season seems like a clusterfuck.

 

I don't understand why Christopher rubs people the wrong way.  He's one of the few who is actually a real chef, he's nice looking and he's serious about doing well.

I know MLP, I don't get it either.  Apparently cooking is not what this show is about.  Can you see Nancy Fuller from Farm Rules doing this shit?  There a only a few shows I like on this channel - Farm Rules, Ina Garten and Jeff Mauro.  I wouldn't even make crazy Sandy do this crap.

[Nutjob]

 

And rightly so.  Has this bullshit been going on throughout the other seasons or just this season?  This whole season seems like a clusterfuck.

I think we reached wacky critical mass last season, because they did stupid videos then, too (remember Damaris with the two guys I can't remember doing a "movie trailer," and it was all sorts of awkward?).  Now it's all downhill.

[cooksdelight]

 

Has this bullshit been going on throughout the other seasons or just this season?

 

 

Well, each season has it's "moments." Like the time they served food to a focus group inside a moving tour bus. But this episode was just off the charts in terms of the number of times I said "What the hell?" while watching.

[cattykit]

 

Production meeting the following day...

 

Tusch: So do you think these fools got the hint?

Sooz: Nope. Pretty sure it went right over their heads......

 

Uncle Benzene, you make that video and I'll watch it.

 

They noted that Lenny would do anything to win, as if it were a compliment.  I do not now, nor will I ever, watch FN to see a fat hairy naked guy with gross tats.  That visual makes Lard Weezel look like a stud by comparison.

 

Count me on those who thought YouTube was just a repository of videos with some people to maintain the site and a few more people to take down the copyright infringements.

 

I like Emma.  I don't care if she's not a bundle of energy.  There are more than enough screamers on TV already.  And Butcher Girl's first video antics were so incredibly fake, I can't believe she was praised rather than criticized.  Look at me!  See how wacky I am?

[phoenix780]

And Butcher Girl's first video antics were so incredibly fake, I can't believe she was praised rather than criticized.  Look at me!  See how wacky I am?

 

Isn't Anne Burrell their go-to tough/kooky girl?  I remember watching her show, she was talking to the food or something...

 

Point is, don't they already have one of her?

[Alapaki]

Well, I have to admit that they finally put together a set of challenges that truly mirror the "real world" of FN . . . in that there is ABSOLUTELY. NO. COOKING.

[RealityGal]

I find Alton a bit of a prig (a big bit) much of the time but I agreed with him here.  I liked Nicole but, when I heard that, I thought "immature, high school, can't edit for effect....."  She's pretty but she lost a lot of credibility with me. 

 

I don't understand why Christopher rubs people the wrong way.  He's one of the few who is actually a real chef, he's nice looking and he's serious about doing well.  I'm sure he'll be eliminated eventually because he doesn't have the kind of spark that draws people in but I don't find him offensive at all.

 

I now know why Christopher rubs me the wrong way.  He reminds me of that douchebag that just won top chef.  Douchebag was my personal opinion of the guy, but I couldn't stand that barfbag, and he had the same look/general mannerisms as Christopher.  At first he seemed nice, and then he just turned insufferable.  Its totally unfair, because Christopher is probably a very nice, reasonable guy.  I'm going to try to like him more.

[orchidgal]

Glad to hear that I wasn't the only one who had absolutely NO trouble at all understanding Aryen.  Yes, FN had decided who they wanted to send home, so they had to come up with some lame-ass reason to do so.

 

Now if I could just forget I ever wasted my time watching this stupid episode.

 

Is there a 12-step course for addictions to ridiculous reality shows?

[John M]

I now know why Christopher rubs me the wrong way.  He reminds me of that douchebag that just won top chef.  Douchebag was my personal opinion of the guy, but I couldn't stand that barfbag, and he had the same look/general mannerisms as Christopher.  At first he seemed nice, and then he just turned insufferable.  Its totally unfair, because Christopher is probably a very nice, reasonable guy.  I'm going to try to like him more.

I think he is probably just a conservative and straitlaced guy personality wise that takes his career very seriously and is trapped in a show of foolishness with these whacky characters who really don't seem to know much about food and just doesn't know how to deal so he takes a very defensive posture. It seems like a reasonable question to ask didn't he see the show before but I think we are all in agreement that this season is even more ridiculous than usual.

[Lillybee]

I think that Christopher could totally do a stand and stir show, like Tyler Florence's show. It is something that I would watch. I think that I could learn something from him.

[bluepiano]

Of all the dumb challenges over the years that have nothing to do with cooking ability or food knowledge, this was maybe the dumbest. Well, what can you expect when the entire show was about shilling for candy bars?

 

 Apparently the judging criteria was "how much are you willing to humiliate yourself to show us you want to win?"

 

Christopher's reserve didn't have a negative impact on his chances, because he already had no chance. When it comes to male winners, the model was set by Guy Fieri. They want "in-your-face," which was why the Sandwich King was the predetermined winner. That's also why Pie Guy, who was barely articulate and three out of four times couldn't even make a decent pie, was the judges' pet. Because they liked his "personality." Similarly, they really like Lenny, who's shown that he's more than willing to play the clown.

 

Not surprised that the video based on Latino stereotypes was the winner. A couple of seasons back there was the Mexican-American woman chef (can't remember her name) who was trained in classic French cuisine. And the judges seemed astonished. ("You want to cook French food? But you're Mexican!!). Ultimately they coerced her into cooking Mexican food and telling stories about her abuelo. It was embarrassing. And borderline offensive.

Edited June 24, 2014 by bluepiano

[SecretHaze]

Did Giada fairly spit "Christopher" when asked her choice to go or what?  Wowza.

 

I know, right? What was that? 

 

I'm not especially invested in any of these contestants, but I would say Christopher is one of my favorites. He's well spoken, attractive, not majorly annoying, and seems like a good cook. The fact that he hated the "viral video" challenge only adds to my liking for him, because that's exactly how I would be in that situation. Christopher not only knew it was stupid, he knew it was not his forte, and admitted it.  

 

During the judging, they laid it out pretty clearly that it boiled down to -- 1) someone who has made good dishes and has a decent camera presence but didn't want to make himself into a clown for a so-called "viral video"; and 2) someone who was "all in" for the ridiculous challenge but has shown no evidence she can cook. I was sure they were going to eliminate Christopher just to punish him for having the audacity to not enjoy humiliating himself for FN's benefit. Glad I was proven wrong. I've got nothing in particular against Aryen, but come on, if they had booted Christopher after laying it out that way, it would've made the show seem like even more of a sham of a "cooking show" than it already is.  

 

That being said, I'm sure they'll axe Christopher next week because Giada obviously has it in for him. 

 

 

[mlp]

 

I now know why Christopher rubs me the wrong way.  He reminds me of that douchebag that just won top chef.

 

Nick.  I couldn't stand him either.  I do see what you mean about the resemblance but I don't think their personalities are all that similar.  I haven't seen enough of Christopher to feel sure yet.  So far, he seems to be one of the few contestants who can actually cook.  As far as how he comes across, he's more Ina or Tyler than Guy which is a good thing IMO but perhaps not what the judges are looking for.

[Lillybee]

I have to agree, they are definitely not looking for an Ina or Tyler. In fact, if Bobby Flay was on this show, he would have been cut quickly.