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Jenelle: Birther Of 3, Mother To None

DangerousMinds

By DangerousMinds
in Teen Mom 2

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Everyone knows Ensley does not have Down syndrome. Posts suggesting that she does will be removed and warnings issued. Posts such as these leave the impression that an arguably unflattering picture could somehow be construed as a child being disabled is considered ableist and is against the rules of the board.

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politichick
politichick

Not to mention how Leah has probably accelerated Ali's physical decline because she refuses to follow the fucking rules regarding the wheel chair and physical activity. Barb has made sure that Ja

Kareny
Kareny

Maryssa is free! Hallelujah. Two down, two to go.

Uncle JUICE
Uncle JUICE

Look, who are we to judge? Look, if you're married for any amount of time, or really in any sort of regular, healthy relationship, who among you HASN'T threatened their significant other with posting

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lovesnark

lovesnark

In the first pic in the article at The Ashley, you can see a wagon in the background all decked out in tulle and greenery. I bet that's what Endtable was supposed to be in and because the ground was so bumpy, it would have tipped over. So, Maryssa wound up having to carry her. The article also has a description of the missing bouquet.

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lovesnark

lovesnark

(edited)
16 minutes ago, Lm2162 said:

I think it looks cute, but I like weddings that look backyardy and somewhat casual rather than churchy or formal. It actually makes me a little ill because I thought some of the things she was posting were cute or pretty, but I know the sinister truth behind it and it makes it all really creepy and sad. :(

I also like more casual weddings. But, to pull it off you need to commit to it. Hers was all over the place. Formal lace dress with train (to drag in the mud), UBT in a white jacket and shades, Jace in a suit 6 sizes too big, etc. I went to a backyard garden wedding a month ago it it was very well done. The guys in the wedding party wore white shirts, suspenders, khakis and converse tennies. Since UBT and Jenelle have no friends to make up a wedding party, they went with formal and there were no attendants  to balance it out. They also had months to get their place finished. Who decides to have a pool put in a week before you're having a wedding at your house? Morons like Jenelle.

Edited by lovesnark
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ReadMeLattice

ReadMeLattice

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(edited)
8 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

I also like more casual weddings. But, to pull it off you need to commit to it. Hers was all over the place. Formal lace dress with train (to drag in the mud), UBT in a white jacket and shades, Jace in a suit 6 sizes too big, etc. I went to a backyard garden wedding a month ago it it was very well done. The guys in the wedding party wore white shirts, suspenders, khakis and converse tennies. Since UBT and Jenelle have no friends to make up a wedding party, they went with formal and there were no attendants else to balance it out. They also had months to get their place finished. Who decides to have a pool put in a week before you're having a wedding at your house? Morons like Jenelle.

Yes, it looks hastily done. I guess I just mean I've been to other similarly not-professionally-planned weddings and they weren't perfect, the kids weren't well styled or whatever, the sound wasn't great, the dress wasn't perfectly tailored, there were Lay's chips on the table instead of artisanal this and that, maybe it was even tacky, but it was still somehow endearing because they weren't trying too hard and they were really in love and committed.

It's just weird because this looks like a wedding of two people who don't have a lot of money and aren't trying to make it perfect, but D&J are treating it like it was the special event of the century and Jenelle is acting like it's a red-carpet-worthy, paparazzi-are-clamoring-to-attend event. Also, they hate each other and are going to divorce in 2 seconds, so it's this bizarre mix of vibes that adds up to the Uncanny Valley (y'all, look it up if you haven't heard of it and are curious because IT IS JENELLE EXACTLY) that is Jenelle and her life. They're going for this down home wholesome vibe and they're actually at each other's throats on the daily and getting CPS visits.

I don't know how to describe how I feel when I look at these photos. It's just WEIRD. Can you imagine Jenelle saying anything like 'a little treat for your dancing feet?' SHE HATES EVERYTHING. SHE DOES NOT WANT ANYONE TO HAVE TREATS FOR THEIR FEET.

Edited by Lm2162
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lovesnark

lovesnark

(edited)
37 minutes ago, Lm2162 said:

Yes, it looks hastily done. I guess I just mean I've been to other similarly not-professionally-planned weddings and they weren't perfect, the kids weren't well styled or whatever, the sound wasn't great, the dress wasn't perfectly tailored, there were Lay's chips on the table instead of artisanal this and that, maybe it was even tacky, but it was still somehow endearing because they weren't trying too hard and they were really in love and committed.

It's just weird because this looks like a wedding of two people who don't have a lot of money and aren't trying to make it perfect, but D&J are treating it like it was the special event of the century and Jenelle is acting like it's a red-carpet-worthy, paparazzi-are-clamoring-to-attend event. Also, they hate each other and are going to divorce in 2 seconds, so it's this bizarre mix of vibes that adds up to the Uncanny Valley (y'all, look it up if you haven't heard of it and are curious because IT IS JENELLE EXACTLY) that is Jenelle and her life. They're going for this down home wholesome vibe and they're actually at each other's throats on the daily and getting CPS visits.

I don't know how to describe how I feel when I look at these photos. It's just WEIRD. Can you imagine Jenelle saying anything like 'a little treat for your dancing feet?' SHE HATES EVERYTHING. SHE DOES NOT WANT ANYONE TO HAVE TREATS FOR THEIR FEET.

That's exactly it. She blabbed for months about what an event to remember her wedding was going to be and it was a thrown together at the last minute shitshow. And, the reason it was thrown together at the last minute is because they were fighting like lunatics and calling Radar Online instead of getting stuff ready. Add in that they have NO friends willing to help, it was a perfect storm of crap.

Our daughter got married at an old barn on a farm that's been converted into an event space. They wanted a very low key, relaxed vibe and it turned out exactly like they wanted. I made her dress and did all the flowers and they were beautiful. But, for all the centerpieces, I had help from a friend and we planned everything in order to have it come together just right. And, I had a team of friends to help get everything to the venue and set up on wedding day. Jenelle has no friends and they obviously were extremely poor planners. Hey! Lets order a bunch of sod and not pay someone to lay it so the groom has to do it the day before the wedding! Hey! Lets have a pool put in a couple weeks before the wedding! There will be mounds of dirt everywhere and the ground will be a real mess from the equipment and we won't pay someone to clean it up! The groom can do it the day before the wedding! Hey! Lets fight like wolverines and call it all off the night before! Lets call Radar Online and sell some stories!

Edited by lovesnark
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BitterApple

BitterApple

LM2162, I totally agree. If we were talking about two nice people who didn't have a large budget, I wouldn't snark at all, but Jenelle hyped this wedding up for months and was an asshole to Barb. She made a huge deal about traveling to NYC for fancy shmancy dresses and promised a "big surprise" for the officiant. To see this thing crash and burn in spectacular fashion is just too good to be true.

I still can't figure out Twitter, but I am living for the comments today.

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JocelynCavanaugh

JocelynCavanaugh

53 minutes ago, Lm2162 said:

It's just weird because this looks like a wedding of two people who don't have a lot of money and aren't trying to make it perfect, but D&J are treating it like it was the special event of the century and Jenelle is acting like it's a red-carpet-worthy, paparazzi-are-clamoring-to-attend event. Also, they hate each other and are going to divorce in 2 seconds, so it's this bizarre mix of vibes that adds up to the Uncanny Valley (y'all, look it up if you haven't heard of it and are curious because IT IS JENELLE EXACTLY) that is Jenelle and her life. They're going for this down home wholesome vibe and they're actually at each other's throats on the daily and getting CPS visits.

Um excuse me but did you not see the #foreverandalways? Once you use a hashtag that serious it means you will never ever break up, dude!

(JK I give it 8 months.)

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guilfoyleatpp

guilfoyleatpp

Ok, the thing about the open bar? Like, is letting people know via a sign that there's an open bar a thing now? All these cute little quotes on shit to tell people what they're supposed to do? I'm old as fuck, I got married 8 years ago, I'm totally not getting this. 

And it's your first dance as husband and wife you fucking asshole. You're the bride and the groom during the lead up. Now you're husband and wife. 

Or, perhaps more accurately, Abuser and Neglecter.  I can't think of anything clever. Someone on the "Fans of TM" FB page just accused everyone of being lonely and jealous of Jenelle. And then said "bitches" are supposed to inspire one another.

Sounds about right...

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FairyDusted

FairyDusted

It didn't hit me until someone pointed out the flip flops. When my daughter married at the golf course we were asked not to wear heels. We could wear wedges though so I found some blingy ones. Could be since the sod was done THE DAY BEFORE. 

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ReadMeLattice

ReadMeLattice

2 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Um excuse me but did you not see the #foreverandalways? Once you use a hashtag that serious it means you will never ever break up, dude!

(JK I give it 8 months.)

Omg I'm so sorry I totally didn't see the Vows Via Hashtag. I stand corrected. 

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ReadMeLattice

ReadMeLattice

(edited)
53 minutes ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

Ok, the thing about the open bar? Like, is letting people know via a sign that there's an open bar a thing now? All these cute little quotes on shit to tell people what they're supposed to do? I'm old as fuck, I got married 8 years ago, I'm totally not getting this. 

And it's your first dance as husband and wife you fucking asshole. You're the bride and the groom during the lead up. Now you're husband and wife. 

Or, perhaps more accurately, Abuser and Neglecter.  I can't think of anything clever. Someone on the "Fans of TM" FB page just accused everyone of being lonely and jealous of Jenelle. And then said "bitches" are supposed to inspire one another.

Sounds about right...

The little sayings are very Pinteresty. The chalkboards and all that are common at weddings now. It's not my thing but it's popular among crafty DIY folks, which is so weird to see Jenelle imitating because we know she hates, like, moving her body? And people? And art? And work? 

All I want to know is who the hell picked all that out and made it because I'd be shocked if it was Jenelle. My husband planned our whole wedding because I suck at that stuff so yes I know it doesn't have to be the bride, but I sure as hell can't imagine David, the Alpha Man of All Men That Have Been, picking out anything except his alibi for when he goes to prison for his next violent crime. 

Edited by Lm2162
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druzy

druzy

(edited)
44 minutes ago, Lm2162 said:

The little sayings are very Pinteresty. The chalkboards and all that are common at weddings now. It's not my thing but it's popular among crafty DIY folks, which is so weird to see Jenelle imitating because we know she hates, like, moving her body? And people? And art? And work? 

All I want to know is who the hell picked all that out and made it because I'd be shocked if it was Jenelle. My husband planned our whole wedding because I suck at that stuff so yes I know it doesn't have to be the bride, but I sure as hell can't imagine David, the Alpha Man of All Men That Have Been, picking out anything except his alibi for when he goes to prison for his next violent crime. 

She got all of the signs etc. from Etsy. 

Edited by druzy
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crazychicken

crazychicken

12 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

Seriously,  why is she in a robe? Why not a casual 2nd dress or jumpsuit or something. She really has no friends.

It is a very strange choice but then a pool party wedding was an odd choice to begin with. I do not know any people that would bring their bathers to a wedding. For Janelle to spend more time in her robe than any other outfit on her special day is especially baffling since only the kids seemed to have used the pool.

 

She got to flash her cleavage during the cake cutting  I am sure that was a highlight for the swamp princess

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crazychicken

crazychicken

(edited)
15 minutes ago, druzy said:

She got all of the signs etc. from Etsy. 

So she bought a digital file a month ago and never noticed that they spelt Kaisers name wrong. While I am griping the welcome sign bothers me, it looks like it is welcoming Janelle & David instead of the guests.

Edited by crazychicken
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druzy

druzy

(edited)
12 minutes ago, crazychicken said:

Thanks for that I just looked at some of her purchases, check out the cake knife & server.images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQcQyCSSkD4ZfKMuIXPwmY

I didn't see that one- are the knives up against someone's legs?

I just found David's Father's Day gift-lol

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Edited by druzy
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lezlers

lezlers

7 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

Thanks! Mind if I wake and bake? I get my funny from my Dad. We use the intercom system to cuss each other out for fun and chat during Judge Judy. LOL He's far from perfect but he never fucked my mothers friends and deserted her kids after taking every stick of furniture when she left. Oppps! Guess I'm still pissed.

Topic? Fuck YOU Janelle!

So.....i'm going to need to hang out at your house.  Wake and bake, judge judy and cussing each other out over the intercom?  Sounds like the Best Day EVER. 

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FairyDusted

FairyDusted

1 minute ago, lezlers said:

So.....i'm going to need to hang out at your house.  Wake and bake, judge judy and cussing each other out over the intercom?  Sounds like the Best Day EVER. 

Come on Over! I have a few guest rooms and the hot tub runs all year.

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GreatKazu

GreatKazu

1 minute ago, FairyDusted said:

Come on Over! I have a few guest rooms and the hot tub runs all year.

*checking flights* 

37 minutes ago, LBS said:

Jesusgodleah!  Why is no one snarking on how she spelled ‘aisle’ as ‘isle’ in her Instagram picture?!  #marcopolo 

After I read her comment which ended with "very safely", I stopped reading anything she posted. 

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nikita

nikita

8 hours ago, galaxychaser said:

Congrats to the happy couple! 

Hehe.

7 hours ago, lovesnark said:

Jace is wearing a too big suit and is holding his hand.

I think maybe Jace's suit jacket is supposed to look oversized? Like an old-timey Western style? Something Johnny Depp would've worn to a film premiere in the early '90s or like something out of Deadwood. IDK.

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