Kandi's Wedding: Going to the Chapel and... Mama Joyce is Pissed.

[Leroux]

Fascinating topic of the prenup. I found certain inconsistencies between what Kandi and Todd have said.

 

IIRC since the taping of RHOA last season Kandi has talked to Todd about the prenup, he said he would sign it because he didn't want any money from her. Kandi has said that since her lawyer started drafting the prenup, she (Kandi) told Todd to get his lawyer so they can work together but Todd said he would take care of it when there was a final copy. Todd should have had his lawyer back in the preliminary stages working right along with Kandi's lawyer and rewording everything that he didn't find fair.

 

Todd has said that he left some projects to take over the production of the play, but Kandi says he was compensated for it with 50% of the earnings, so it is not as Todd put his career on hold to stay at home for her to purse her dreams, he changed one opportunity for other. If the other opportunity was to work for a huge and lucrative project i.e working for Oprah, I am sure that Todd would have continued with his original project but at this point Todd is the one who made the decision to change from one to the other and the only fact is that he was paid for it with 50% even though I am sure that Kandi was the investor.

 

Todd has also said that if she died then he gets nothing, does he know or is he clear that a lot of brides/grooms have died even in the honeymoon stage when the couple hasn't been married even a month, how would it go then? Kandi dies in the honeymoon and Todd receives everything and Riley nothing? I don't think so. Prenups have several provisions, there could be provisions for when they have a child together, I think I heard there was already a provision for when they were married more than 2 years, prenups can be modified but one thing is for sure Kandi was not a single woman, she had her daughter to think about and if indeed something happen to her without short time of them being married, then her daughter Riley should get everything. I do not see anything wrong with that.

 

Todd is not going to quit his job to be a SAHD, he is going to keep working and due to his appearances on RHOA he probably has now more opportunities that he ever had , he doesn't have to pay a mortgage and even though he pays bills he would have to do the same if he rented. All in all and with few changes I didn't see anything outrageous in Kandi's prenup. Todd said he didn't want any of her money so the prenup stated just that. If he wanted to be "protected" by the divorce then he should have said so. There are facts that are irrefutable like the fact that Kandi bought that house cash with her money and that house should be her patrimony for her kids, if Todd is married to her in the next 15-20 years then they can always change the deed or have the prenup modified , but being that the prenup is valid since day 1 after the marriage I think that Kandi was trying to protect her and Riley's patrimony.

 

Maybe it is just me watching too many episodes of Snapped but when there is a lot of money involved , crazy things happen, better safe than sorry.

[cooksdelight]

i think the thing that bugged Todd the most was in the event of divorce, he had to leave home within 30 days, and take nothing but his clothes and personal items. THAT to me was cold. Didn't Todd help her with a lot of work on the home, restorations, using his own money?

[sunsheyen]

I hope the Bachelorette party was just for the show and she had a real party away from the cameras. That was lame as hell. Phaedra needs to step her stripper supplier game up. I loved the brief clip of Apollo salivating at Todd's party.

 

That was one tired ass bachelorette. They would have been better off just going to the club, buying out VIP and just getting crunk. They just sat there in what seemed like a stadium seating setup, with Phaedra running in looking like she just got off work. Peter knows how to throw a party. 

 

Apollo looked that first chick up and down like he was bout to bite a titty off! That was far more than just appreciation for a fine female form. That freak factor is definitely the glue between him and Phaedra. Forgive me y'all, my brain knows he is a trifling, stupid, low down, hateful, sorry asshole, but aww shit, I bet he could just do some thangs to a body. Fix it, Jesus! Take this lust demon offa me!

I would be confused by Todd too.  He says he does not care, then he gets upset that he is not getting anything and that he has to move out 30 days after the breakup.  I don't get his outrage if he does not want anything.  Also, just because he lawyer got the prenup two days before the wedding does not mean that Todd had not read the prenup and/or worked out the details with Kandi over time.  Todd has consistently said he does not want Kandi's money so I don't undertand his problem.

 

I don't think that wanting or expecting some of the financial benefits normally expected in a marriage (to me, anyway) is mutually exclusive with not greedily wanting Kandi's money.

WOW! Kandi got a huge case of mealey mouth when it comes down to defending her ignorant, no talking mama...bit when ot comes down to the money, she gets some balls. Well, like mama like daughter. Poor Todd. No pun intended.

 

A pre-nup is not a will. When Todd ask about the 30 day move-out her response was "so in your past relations did you stick around after you broke up"(paraphrasing). if she can't see how this is different, well, Todd you got yourself a lot of nothing.

The only time I've seen Kandi this mad was when she and (I've forgotten her name guess she wasn't relevant) had their screaming match. Not speaking to Todd, when she walked in, referring to his attorney in quotes,shows to me how much influence Joyce has over her.[...]

I was very surprised at Kandi's behavior wrt the prenup. She shut down immediately, wouldn't make eye contact, stayed texting or whatever on her phone...just magnified her lack of communication skills. Then the talk breaking the fourth wall about how she wanted him to say on camera that he wasn't under duress etc was very combative. As others have mentioned, she is already giving off that distrustful vibe, and really speaks to that "family is forever and you may be gone" mentality, which doesn't seem to consider the fact that your husband IS your family now. She just seemed unnecessarily nasty about it all. I'm sure they had some reasonable conversation that basically said, hey, my money from before, royalties, etc are mine, if something happens, you aren't getting a free ride. But some of the clauses were extreme, and she KNEW it, quickly agreeing about the 30 day thing and death benefits etc. Kind of suspect that she was willing to send out this shady mess, but get a funky ass attitude if he dared question it. That whole thing really left a sour taste in my mouth. I get it, don't be stupid, she didn't get where she is by doing so, but to try to get over on your husband? Doesn't bode well. I guess the lack of positive marital role models is really an issue for her.

 

Kandi is really in a place where she needs some self evaluation. She is used to having been the boss for so long, that I think it may be hard for her to compromise on some things, but at the same time, she is so submissive to her mother that it leaves her unprepared to really confront and deal with situations. I don't know, if I was Todd, the kind of powerlessness that is being foisted on him might cause me to leave. Most men need a voice in SOMETHING. He's shut down when it comes to money; she complains about him traveling for work; his voice isn't heard (nor does his wife REALLY stick up for him) when it comes to his MIL--she even lets her talk shit about his mama and dead daddy, unquestioned other than a halfhearted "C'mon, Mama"; Kandi is quick to say the house is hers, even the TV show that he is the costar of is under Kandi's production company, essentially making her his boss, again. That's a lot for a man to keep dealing with. I would bet money that the LA work has something to do with making sure he keeps his income stream based on her issues with the prenup. She ain't snotting and crying about THIS job. Getting her ass on planes for a visit, yes she is. 

 

Those trust issues that Joyce has drilled into her soul will be the demise of this marriage. And I hate that, because I think they make a cool couple. Leave your family and cleave to your spouse and all that jazz. Check it out, Kandi. 

[drivethroo]

If Kandi thinks she's going to handle Todd like Phaedra handled Apollo, Kandi will end up with a huzzbin who detests, despises & is ready to leave her...just like Apollo.

 

Sadly, I can see Kandi crying about Todd always being gone for work.  Well, when you tell a man that he's just there to service you at your pleasure & he will be getting zero out of the deal, don't cry when your man feels he needs to work to stack up coins for the day you decide you no longer need his services.

 

I would also like to add that Kandi doesn't know how to conduct herself as a wife because she wasn't provided an example of how to be a wife when she was growing up.  Kandi's not ready to be married to anyone, possibly ever.  Unless she is willing to put her husband first, her marriage will not last very long.    Kandi has never, IMO of what's been shown on the show, stuck up for her husband and had his back.

 

Kandi doesn't want a husband, she wants a huzzbin.  Mama Joyce will be so happy when (not if) Kandi's marriage fails.

Edited June 23, 2014 by drivethroo

[b2H]

I would seriously like to see someone take Kandi's cellphone right out of her hand and into the nearest body of water when she does the fake texting stuff while someone, mostly Todd, is trying to engage her in a conversation of the level of the pre-nup discussion.  That is utter disrespect to the person that is talking to her.

 

I know, I know - she has a business to run.  And if she doesn't answer this one text right this second, the whole empire will come crashing down?  I don't think so - if it's that fragile, then maybe it should come crashing down.

 

When one is discussing a serious future with someone else, namely the other party there is to be a future with, then put the @#$%^&*() cellphone down.

 

Seriously!

[cooksdelight]

It's just like when I have to have a serious discussion with someone in my home, I turn off the TV or music or whatever is going on. Kandi and her cellphone are almost as bad as Kim was/is with hers.

[acee01b]

On WWHL, Kandi said that she got that "30 days to vacate" language from Bethenney Frankel of RHONY. Bethenney is getting divorced, and she was dealing with her soon-to-be ex remaining in the house, even after the split. So I guess Kandi was just putting it in there, since her RHONY cohort has a problem along the same lines. It's still pretty cold though.

 

Kandi also stated that she was friends with Ramona, another New York housewife.

[ribboninthesky1]

The way I feel about prenups is this, and I know a lot of people will disagree with me:  If you aren't willing to share what you have with the person you love, DON'T GET MARRIED!  I have always believed that when you get married, what's mine is yours and what's yours is mine.  When you get married, you are as one.  If you go into it with all kinds of doubts that you will be together forever...DON'T GET MARRIED!  I admit that maybe I feel this way because I'm not wealthy and don't own a business that could possibly suffer if no prenup is in place and a divorce happens.  Still, I think that the prenup is an easy out for the richer person to leave the marriage.  Call me old fashioned, but that's just how I feel...TODAY!  If I was to win the lottery tomorrow, I'm sure I will feel completely different. lol

 

I understand where you're coming from with this, and I do feel that prenups can be a red flag.  On the other hand, I also see marriage as a contract, and can see prenups as a way of negotiating that contract. Especially when it's the woman who has more assets.  So ultimately, I don't think prenups have to be harbingers of divorce, as long as the contract is on the up and up.  That really wasn't the case with Kandi's prenup, and she knew it.  I guess she thought Todd would be just roll over and sign it.  

[fgoldberg]

Kandi, replied  to questions on her twitter account.

Edited June 23, 2014 by fgoldberg

[Iguessnot]

I believe Kandi said they would split the profits 50%, not the earnings. I would suppose he's not paid any fee for his work on these projects. So unless said project takes off like gangbusters, Todd gets diddly squat. Just like with Kim, she claimed that expenses ate up everything and there wasn't much profit to be had.  

[jumper sage]

I can't believe I listened to this crap last night.  Did I hear right?  Did the prenup actually say that if Todd gets sick or disabled he is out with nothing?  So how does one rectify that with the marriage vows of for better or for worse?  That is some cold shit right there.

[ToukieSmith]

I believe Kandi said they would split the profits 50%, not the earnings. I would suppose he's not paid any fee for his work on these projects. So unless said project takes off like gangbusters, Todd gets diddly squat. Just like with Kim, she claimed that expenses ate up everything and there wasn't much profit to be had.  

 

Assuming that Kandi is the only investor, she takes on all of the financial risk whereas Todd gets a 50% share of the profits.  Thats a damn good deal if you can get it.  Typically, the investor takes the financial risk and reaps the financial reward.  Todd did risk earning money from another job while working on this project, but Kandi took on the same type of risk as she could have invested in another project that would have yielded the same return without splitting the profit 50/50.

 

For either of them to make anything, the project has to reach a breakeven point and that risk is soley Kandi's to bear.  Based on Todd's staff questions, he knows nothing about producing a stage play, but he gets a 50% share....thats like being an employee of Facebook when they started.

 

I don't think the prenup is unfair when they share the profits of future ventures if 100% of the capital comes from Kandi.  He said he did not want Kandi's money and she codified what he said he did not want. Since her capital is generating the projects, it seems that Todd is getting a really good deal.  Without her, he would have to pay for capital to invest in these projects.  What if the projects don't generate profit?  Kandi's net worth takes a hit while Todd bears minimal risk.

 

I think her approach was dismissive, but that may be because of Todd being cavalier about the situation.  They do things at the last minute, they spoke about the prenup off and on for at least six months and he said he did not want Kandi's money.  He waited to get an attorney to look over things.  It seems that he took things for granted.  I can understand him being hurt, but he contributed to the confusion by not speaking up.  Also, he may not understand the impact of the current financial arrangement where he does not take on as much financial risk as Kandi.  His feelings are so hurt that he has to vacate her house 30 days after they break up that he completely missed that he gets 50% of profits earned by projects that she finances 100%.

Edited June 24, 2014 by ToukieSmith

[BestestAuntEver]

Sadly, I can see Kandi crying about Todd always being gone for work. Well, when you tell a man that he's just there to service you at your pleasure & he will be getting zero out of the deal, don't cry when your man feels he needs to work to stack up coins for the day you decide you no longer need his services.

THIS. I now believe that the pre-nup fiasco is why Todd's working in LA & Kandi is currently sucking it up. I can also see her crying over it, if he continues to work outside Atlanta for months at a time for the next couple of years. If I were Todd, Kandi could cry all she wanted & I'd go work wherever the money is. You can't tell me, you can basically get rid of me whenever you want & not think I want be out there trying to make my paper.

[Iguessnot]

I understand Kandi having 100% of the financial risk. I'm just seeing the situation as Todd still being a working grunt. Working on his spouse's projects full term means he isn't earning his living. Kandi wants her perks, so Todd might not be paid while working on Kandi's projects.  Todd must live on his savings hoping for a good payday.

 

In a long term marriage, hopefully an equilibrium of work/profits will have been reached. Put when certain pre-nups are put in one's face you REALLY start thinking about what would happen if you are dumped in a year or two and don't have your own funds because you've been providing free labor for your spouse. 

 

It's fine that Kandi wants to protect what's her's. But when the rich lady wants services free from those who don't have deep pockets, problems arise. Kandi would be better off paying Todd equitably for the services he performs for her businesses, and then adjusting his share of the profits accordingly.

 

If this isn't a set up for tv, I think Todd wasn't interested in paying a lawyer a bunch of money to volley back and forth some undefined document with Kandi's lawyer. That co-draft stuff was just bs to me. He bought you a ring, now draft the prenup and hand it over to the guy in a timely manner. I don't know why she was trying to dictate his lawyer usage beyond giving him the document for consideration.  

[swankie]

Did the prenup actually say that if Todd gets sick or disabled he is out with nothing?  So how does one rectify that with the marriage vows of for better or for worse?  That is some cold shit right there.

 

 

How also does one rectify the prenup with the marriage vows of  "With all my worldly goods, I thee endow" as SFoster21 pointed out?  It looks like there will be a lot of editing of the vows by Kandi for this wedding.  Most people already do away with "to love, honor and OBEY".  Kandi needs to take off her strapped on dick and let Todd be her partner and not just her fuck buddy.  She's emasculating him little by little.

[drivethroo]

 

Kandi needs to take off her strapped on dick and let Todd be her partner and not just her fuck buddy.  She's emasculating him little by little.

 

And that's why she's going to end up like her little buddy Phaedra, with a HUZZbin in name only.

 

 

I have been wondering about Riley's dad & if he was run off by the OLG.... nothing would surprise me at this point.

 

I heard Riley's dad was married to somebody else when he fathered her so the only place the OLG could run him to would be back to his wife.

Edited June 24, 2014 by drivethroo

[Lucygirl2]

I didn't really mind the 30 days to get out part (someone at least learned something from Bethenny & Jason's bullshit) but I did think the part about when Kandi decides she is done was cold, as was the part about him getting nothing if she dies.  I can understand wanting to leave the majority to Riley, but how hard would it be to divide it up a bit, like Riley gets 75%, Todd gets 15% & in the event Kandi passes before Joyce, Joyce gets 10%, if Joyce passes first the 10% reverts back to Riley.

 

I don't understand the all or nothing mentality.

 

I have been wondering about Riley's dad & if he was run off by the OLG.... nothing would surprise me at this point.

[Baltimore Betty]

I am sure that I heard them say that in Georgia any money earned post wedding was shared in the event of a divorce so Todd would come away with some money if they split up, it is his legal right no matter what.  Also, a will and a prenup are two different issues, Kandi can stipulate what Todd would receive in the event of her passing.

[cooksdelight]

I wonder why Kandi thinks we want to know how much the gift bags her guests received are worth?

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152549329584380&set=a.289501084379.143045.235984194379&type=1&theater

"All of my female guests received @flatoutofheels to wear during the reception, as well as @scoutbybungalow providing the gift bags. I will be announcing the rest of the items that my bridal party and wedding guests received during the next episode. [Gift bag value: $2,000]"

[radishcake]

It's not that I want to know per se but I want to be invited so I get one. I'm in town Kandi! Call me! ;)

[fgoldberg]

Kandi & Todd wedding 4/4/14.

[radishcake]

Kandi & Todd wedding 4/4/14.

Haha, I forgot that it was so long ago. Reality show taping schedule = no swag. 

[Lakewood27]

Phaedra has cute little butt! And I like that it jiggles when she twerks, unlike some whose square booties are filled with wet cement. #MadeinMexico

[cooksdelight]

You mean.... a butt from Home Depot? :)

[cooksdelight]

Please tell me Todd didn't wear a t-shirt to his daughter's graduation??

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152549763554380&set=a.289501084379.143045.235984194379&type=1&theater

[Iguessnot]

Dude wasn't even trying. I'm kind of horrified to imagine what Kandi's backside looks like in those painted on yellow pants.

[renatae]

You know Bo, MJ did try to pick up her red plastic solo cup and was gonna chuck it at Todd's mom!    Red solo cups bring back bad alcoholic memories for me.  So, I just cringed, especially when Todd's mom said "put some burbon in it."  But that's MY hang up.  

 

I saw the fried the chicken there!  When MJ bit into it, I heard a crunch, and now I'm thinking, I want fried chicken.   Were they already drunk when they showed up?  That family sure does like to drink.  And Kandi doesn't drink.  

LOL, I ran right out into the kitchen and heated up some Schwan's Crispy Wings! That "crunch!" just did me in. Luckily, I had calories left for the day!

 

 

I agree that Kandi was probably making baked spaghetti.  I always put green peppers in my spaghetti sauce when I make it and I also use mushrooms.  The cheese melt I use on top is mozzarella though.  It comes out looking almost like lasagna.

 

 

And y'all did it again! We call that "Johnny Marzetti" where I'm from. It's dinnertime here, didn't know what to make, ran right out and fixed up a mess of that! Baking as we speak!

 

In order to make this NOT an entire food post, MJ drives me nuts, and I agree with the consensus - Kandi needs to put a fence around it NOW.

[renatae]

But wasn't Todd's point not about getting paid for the play, but more about putting his career on the backseat to stay home and work with her? Similar to the choices and sacrifices a SAHM makes?

 

And in particular, he was saying he took money out of savings for the project, implying he is low on cash. Perhaps that was reimbursed to him via his 50% share, but he did seem to feel he would be starting from scratch without benefit of money he would otherwise have had.

 

Kandi says, "I'm sorry if he didn't have his own house when we got married. I'm sorry, git your own house with your own money while we're married."  Hmm. Especially since it seems he put a lot of money into the house already.

 

She seemed very cold about what would happen to him if they divorced. As someone else mentioned, he's your husband, not some dork off the street. It seems like she'd cut him loose in a hot minute if he disappoints her in some way. Does not seem all that committed, which I did not feel earlier.

[renatae]

 

That was one tired ass bachelorette. They would have been better off just going to the club, buying out VIP and just getting crunk. They just sat there in what seemed like a stadium seating setup, with Phaedra running in looking like she just got off work. Peter knows how to throw a party. 

 

Apollo looked that first chick up and down like he was bout to bite a titty off! That was far more than just appreciation for a fine female form. That freak factor is definitely the glue between him and Phaedra. Forgive me y'all, my brain knows he is a trifling, stupid, low down, hateful, sorry asshole, but aww shit, I bet he could just do some thangs to a body. Fix it, Jesus! Take this lust demon offa me!

 

I don't think that wanting or expecting some of the financial benefits normally expected in a marriage (to me, anyway) is mutually exclusive with not greedily wanting Kandi's money.

I was very surprised at Kandi's behavior wrt the prenup. She shut down immediately, wouldn't make eye contact, stayed texting or whatever on her phone...just magnified her lack of communication skills. Then the talk breaking the fourth wall about how she wanted him to say on camera that he wasn't under duress etc was very combative. As others have mentioned, she is already giving off that distrustful vibe, and really speaks to that "family is forever and you may be gone" mentality, which doesn't seem to consider the fact that your husband IS your family now. She just seemed unnecessarily nasty about it all. I'm sure they had some reasonable conversation that basically said, hey, my money from before, royalties, etc are mine, if something happens, you aren't getting a free ride. But some of the clauses were extreme, and she KNEW it, quickly agreeing about the 30 day thing and death benefits etc. Kind of suspect that she was willing to send out this shady mess, but get a funky ass attitude if he dared question it. That whole thing really left a sour taste in my mouth. I get it, don't be stupid, she didn't get where she is by doing so, but to try to get over on your husband? Doesn't bode well. I guess the lack of positive marital role models is really an issue for her.

 

Kandi is really in a place where she needs some self evaluation. She is used to having been the boss for so long, that I think it may be hard for her to compromise on some things, but at the same time, she is so submissive to her mother that it leaves her unprepared to really confront and deal with situations. I don't know, if I was Todd, the kind of powerlessness that is being foisted on him might cause me to leave. Most men need a voice in SOMETHING. He's shut down when it comes to money; she complains about him traveling for work; his voice isn't heard (nor does his wife REALLY stick up for him) when it comes to his MIL--she even lets her talk shit about his mama and dead daddy, unquestioned other than a halfhearted "C'mon, Mama"; Kandi is quick to say the house is hers, even the TV show that he is the costar of is under Kandi's production company, essentially making her his boss, again. That's a lot for a man to keep dealing with. I would bet money that the LA work has something to do with making sure he keeps his income stream based on her issues with the prenup. She ain't snotting and crying about THIS job. Getting her ass on planes for a visit, yes she is. 

 

Those trust issues that Joyce has drilled into her soul will be the demise of this marriage. And I hate that, because I think they make a cool couple. Leave your family and cleave to your spouse and all that jazz. Check it out, Kandi. 

 

A standing O to this! A man isn't your accessory, and your husband isn't your afterthought. Learn to cleave to him, trust him, and, as my husband says, "let him do something besides carry around your bowling ball," or there is no future for this marriage.

[Lablover27]

Woo hoo, I'm doing the 'no prenup agreement' dance......oh wait.  I get the 16 year old mouthy teen daughter who hates it when I exhale, because I'm breathing in her space and she wants a BMW.  I'm choking, laughing so hard at that request/demand.   Gurl, you can't even hang up your clothes.  Oh, and I get the needy dog.   I'm thinking of a postnup.  That was exhausting watching all that!!!  I got through it because we all know they got married.   

 

Mamma Joyce is vile.  She won't be happy until she makes him leave Kandi and she moves into the guest house.  Well, it's a good thing Kandi sells those adult toys.  She's going to be sleeping with them in a couple of years.

Edited June 25, 2014 by Lablover27

[Lola16]

Kandi, on WWHL, said her attorney wanted to draw up the first draft with Todd's attorney. Todd wanted the draft before he hired an attorney. She said they both are at fault for the last minute prenup drama.

Totally.  I could see Todd not wanting to engage an attorney months ahead of time due to costs but he should have picked one at least 6 weeks prior. I think they both were playing a game of chicken and hoping to force the other to do what they wanted due to time.

 

But wasn't Todd's point not about getting paid for the play, but more about putting his career on the backseat to stay home and work with her? Similar to the choices and sacrifices a SAHM makes?

I believe Kandi said they would split the profits 50%, not the earnings. I would suppose he's not paid any fee for his work on these projects. So unless said project takes off like gangbusters, Todd gets diddly squat. Just like with Kim, she claimed that expenses ate up everything and there wasn't much profit to be had.  

Yea, split any profits.  No thanks.  The play boosts Kandi's career more than Todd's.  So if it doesn't make a dime, she's still ahead.  He's behind.  Successful professionals don't make deals like that.  Todd should have been paid for it and the profits should go to the marriage.

 

I am sure that I heard them say that in Georgia any money earned post wedding was shared in the event of a divorce so Todd would come away with some money if they split up, it is his legal right no matter what.  

Not true.  Kandi even stated that she wasn't going to go through with the marriage without a prenup not even for a week because then Todd could lay claim to money earned during the marriage.  The prenup supposedly states that Todd gets no prior or during money earned.

 

Todd said on RHoATL that he didn't want any of Kandi's money and that they should both protect what they came in with.  He also stated (and Kandi confirmed) that Kandi paid for the new home and he pays the expenses.  Kandi thinks that makes the house 100% hers.  Well, why should Todd pay more than 50% of the expenses then? 

 

Why should Todd work on Kandi's projects without a salary and with no compensation for said work if they split?  Sounds very much like Kandi talked to Bethenny in regards to that and the 30 day move out clause.  That's a lot to spring on someone 2 days prior to the wedding.

 

I had a now exbf work with me on some projects.  We lived together.  He got paid just as much as he would have if I didn't know him.   Any projects of his that I helped out on, were always of the 'future compensation' kind --- and always an issue.  Never again.

 

Todd, get paid for what you do.

[loki310]

The prenup discussion was interesting.  First off, I think everyone would agree that Kandi should have a prenup to protect the money/assets she brought into the marriage as well as to ensure that Riley her daughter is taken care of.  However, judging by what I heard from Todd, it appears as though Kandi's lawyer is taking no prisoners when it comes to the prenup. 

 

If Kandi wants a true partner, she's going to have to give a little. Be prepared to pay spousal support, pay for Todd's living expenses, put his name on the deed of the house... something. She's said herself that she's not goiing to get the baller that's making more money than her - that those guys don't want a 40+ year old woman.  Well if that's the case, then she needs to get used to the idea of being the primary wage earner in the relationship and having a spouse that makes a fraction of what she does. Part of being the primary wager earner is providing for your spouse, even if he's a guy.

[Eater of Worlds]

I wonder if Riley gets her name from Kandi's dead brother?  That was his last name on his gravestone, and Riley was also a pretty popular name when she was born.

[fgoldberg]

Yes, Riley was named after her brother. Kandi, told Chris Whiterspoon(grio) that her mother love her son in law.

[drivethroo]

All of this just leads me to ask: Why did Kandi want to get married in the first place?  She doesn't want to share with Todd, feels he needs to get to stepping once she's finished with him, if she dies at at any point he gets nothing etc, she can kick him to the curb if he gets sick, has stated if he wants ownership of a house he better go buy one with his own money, etc.

 

If everything is to be so separate, why get married? Why not just live together? Is she feeling like Kenya, that she's getting up in years and staring at 40 and needs a HUZZbin at any cost?

 

I'm going to have to agree with Mama Joyce in a way: Kandi needs to marry somebody on her financial level or above her financial level.  KANDI is the one who feels that Todd is after her money.  We can blame the lawyer but the lawyer didn't make Kandi say that if Todd wanted a house he better go buy his own house with his own money.  We can blame the lawyer but the lawyer didn't make Kandi say that Todd was just balking at the pre-nup on camera to show he was under duress.  That was all on Kandi.  I can only hope that Todd is smarter than Porsha and stacks his coins for a rainy day because when Kandi gets tired of Todd and kicks him to the curb, she's going to make what Kordell did to Porsha seem like a dream.

 

Kandi doesn't want a husband, she wants a live action Bedroom Kandi toy and when she's tired of the toy she's going to toss it to the side, like Kordell tossed his Barbie to the side.  You notice neither Kandi nor Kordell was all that enthusiastic about having kids with their partner b/c neither one of them wants/wanted to be tied for life to their toy.

 

I think Kandi COULD marry somebody on her financial level or age but as she says, those dudes don't want her.  I don't think they don't want her because of her money or age, I think a man on Kandi's financial level doesn't want to deal with her or her mom's BS and at the financial level they're at, they don't have to.

[ribboninthesky1]

I think Kandi COULD marry somebody on her financial level or age but as she says, those dudes don't want her.  I don't think they don't want her because of her money or age, I think a man on Kandi's financial level doesn't want to deal with her or her mom's BS and at the financial level they're at, they don't have to.

 

I agree with this. I doubt that wealthy women getting married to someone at, near, or above their financial level is some anomaly. Also, I never got the notion that Kandi would be interested in dating men of other cultures or races.  She's hood, so maybe she feels like she wants someone similar or that's all she can get.  If she's limited in her partners, I believe a significant part of that is a self-limited dating pool.  Crazy or controlling people have long-term relationships or get married too, so I don't even think her dysfunction is that prohibitive of a handicap.  Plus, if Todd were on her level financially, I doubt Kandi would have behaved the same way regarding the prenup.

Edited June 25, 2014 by ribboninthesky1

[swankie]

Kandi says, "I'm sorry if he didn't have his own house when we got married. I'm sorry, git your own house with your own money while we're married."  Hmm. Especially since it seems he put a lot of money into the house already.

 

 

I just wonder if upon seeing this episode, Todd is feeling some kind of way about Kandi's neck rolling "I got mine, you better get yours" rant or if she warned him ahead of time of what she said.  That statement she made doesn't sound like someone in love with the person they are about to marry to me.  Kandi isn't showing herself in a very good light at this point if you ask me.  She wants to control every situation in any way she can.  She uses tears a lot to get her way as much as throwing her money up in people's faces to keep reminding them that she has the upper hand when she feels it's necessary.  I can see protecting yourself for the "in case of" moment, but the way she was saying Todd better make sure he makes his own money showed her selfish, uncaring side and to me it was very ugly since she let it be shown on camera.  It was making me hope Todd would leave Kandi at the alter and run off and marry Carmon!

[SunTheen]

My thoughts: after watching this, my beau and I discussed a pre-nup and when we decide to marry, we will have one. That being said, no way in HELL would I EVER leave him with nothing in the event I died or was disabled, etc. how cruel do you have to be? Why even get married? I can see Todd's POV, and since watching this and seeing Kandi allow MJ to say the things she does about not only Todd, but his parents, I have no more respect for Kandi. Damn shame, because it liked her the best of all the HW on ATL.

I don't foresee this marriage lasting, either. Frankly, I am really surprised Todd went through with it.

[cooksdelight]

I just wonder if upon seeing this episode, Todd is feeling some kind of way about Kandi's neck rolling "I got mine, you better get yours" rant or if she warned him ahead of time of what she said.

Given the fact she didn't warn Todd or his mother what MJ said about her having been a prostitute -- and them getting pretty irate about it -- I bet Sunday night was an interesting one at the Tucker household.

[selhars]

I know we have no idea how much Todd makes. But if he's paying the household expenses. to be honest I wonder how much of his money that takes up.

 

Do they have a pool? That costs money to maintain.

And even if not that's a big house, the electricity must be lot.

 

But I suppose if there's no mortgage .. just the household expenses would be affordable.

How much could they be -- 2K a month you think?

(How just remember Lionel Ritchie doing an interview about money being tight (around divorce time) and he was talking about how his house -- granted -- which is bigger with more grounds and fountains, etc in Beverly Hills -- costs tens of thousands a month to maintain.)

 

And if Todd pays the expenses, but gets no equity in the house. He's basically paying 2K a month to live somewhere, and if they ever split he just goes his way with no equity.

[SpringTulips]

I am guessing/hoping they at least split the utilities.  I think he would be a fool to pay utilities for Kandi and Riley and have no rights to the house.  I understand about protecting her assets but I don't think her chatting it up heavy with Bethenny and Ramona is the best way to go starting off a marriage.

 

I don't know much about prenups but I wonder if some of the harsh clauses like "no money upon spouses death" is just standard pre negotiation exchange between lawyers before the final document is settled upon.  After watching way too many crime shows about spouses killing for money, I can see instances where a lawyer would add this dealing with a client with lots of money.

Edited June 26, 2014 by SpringTulips

[Talented Tenth]

I don't have a problem with Kandi's attitude regarding the pre-nup.  I don't see why Todd should come up off Kandi's back.  He is getting to live in a mansion and if he is paying expenses, it's not different than him paying expenses if he were single.  The house is paid for, so whatever he's contributing isn't going to put him in the poor house.  He also has an opportunity, due to Kandi, to work for himself and make a lot of money on various projects.  I don't know if he would be producing a show with Carlos King if it weren't for Kandi.  He is not a stay-at-home dad.  If they split and he wants to walk away with some money, he can work and make some money.  

[ZaldamoWilder]

LMAO @ Talented.  Girl said fuck fair, bruh you ain't sick, get up off that sofa and gitcho ass to work.   BWAHAHAHAAAA!!!

 

I'm not caught up on my episodes but judging from what ya'll are saying, the prenup terms (and her stank tude) sound shitty.   At the very least, it seems as though this wouldn't be acceptable if the roles were reversed.    That last minute drafting mess is a well known "what are you gonna do? call if off?" game play strategy.  Chances are the spouse balking at signing isn't going to call the other's bluff so the one who wants it signed takes it right down to the wire assuming it will be.  The only power the reluctant one has is to cancel the wedding.    Tami Roman recounted that she was handed her prenup at her wedding, couple minutes before she walked down the aisle with a note that said Kenny wasn't going out there until he got it back, signed.     In principle I have no problem with protecting your assets, I just don't like that it feels so power structure-y.

[drivethroo]

I don't think anyone here is saying Todd should come up off Kandi's back, but that Kandi herself had a funky attitude about it. I question why Kandi is getting married when she seems to think Todd is after her money, as evidenced by said funky attitude (Git yo' own money & buy yo own house witcho own money etc).  The way the pre-nup is laid out and Kandi's attitude towards it implies she thinks Todd's after her money and won't be there too long, and he better git his own with his own little money.  If you feel that way about somebody, why marry them? (same with Kordell marrying Porsha, but not trusting her with his money)  I hate to agree with Mama Joyce but Kandi needs/needed to marry somebody on her own financial level.  If you can't find nobody on your financial level to marry, then don't marry.  She seems to be hesitating on having kids now, so what's the harm in not marrying?

[sunsheyen]

I don't have a problem with Kandi's attitude regarding the pre-nup.  I don't see why Todd should come up off Kandi's back.  He is getting to live in a mansion and if he is paying expenses, it's not different than him paying expenses if he were single.  The house is paid for, so whatever he's contributing isn't going to put him in the poor house.  He also has an opportunity, due to Kandi, to work for himself and make a lot of money on various projects.  I don't know if he would be producing a show with Carlos King if it weren't for Kandi.  He is not a stay-at-home dad.  If they split and he wants to walk away with some money, he can work and make some money.

My main issue with this line of thinking (not you specifically) is that it doesn't really leave much room for the "us" part of marriage. He "gets" to live in a mansion? He's not a tenant. That's their home. Is there a little tally that gets checked off each month for his 'credit' in the house based on his monthly bill payment like a lease to own, or does he just have nothing like he was renting an apartment somewhere? Either way, that's fucked up.

I just don't get all the come up/take Kandi's money things. She's not a dumb chick. She has taken her intuition and afaik NO formal business training, not even a college Econ class, and built an empire. I wouldn't even expect her to create/sign off on something that would screw her. The seeds of distrust that she is sowing are a terrible start to a marriage.

I know there's much bigger money involved, but there's a reason that the marriage contract exists in its present form. Not only as an emotional acknowledgement, but legal/financial as well. Couples are typically pooling resources in some fashion (stay at home parent, multiple incomes for bigger/better lifestyles, etc) and this is just a normal part of the partnership. The money socked away for retirement is not just for his wheelchair only and her cataract surgery be damned, but their shared support of each other. If there is a divorce, there is a reason why many spouses are entitled to portions of pensions, insurance policies etc. A part of marriage is taking care of each other, and if those plans go awry, it's not right to just say too bad so sad, when each may have made sacrifices or contributed to the resources of the unit as a whole. For example, Kandi probably knew/knows a lot less about tv production and creation than Todd, but even through normal interest in what her spouse does, I'm sure she's picked up some knowledge from him. So if she creates and profits from a tv project, it was with his info and experience, regardless of him getting a paycheck. His resources are a part of that return even if there isn't a set dollar figure on them, it's still part of that marital "come up" that builds the unit.

I don't think he's trying to come up off her money and I don't think Kandi truly believes that either--although if she does, she is one desperate thirsty broad to marry him anyway. I just don't understand why the typical fairness/support provided for in most marriage dissolutions shouldn't apply to him without him being looked at like a leech or user.

She really shouldn't listen to her momma. Isn't she divorced a few times with her daughter taking care of her? Not the best source for marital or long term planning advice.

[WimminWinning]

The problem seems to be Todd and his lack of communication skills. He told Kandi (and repeatedly tells Kandi) that he doesn't want any of her money. Kandi took him at his word and drafted a prenup that says exactly that. This 48 hours business shouldn't have been a problem considering that the prenup is essentially a straight-forward "what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine" - just as Todd said he wanted. He tells Kandi that his only concern is the 30 day move out clause, yet when his lawyer calls back and is put on speakerphone, the only thing mentioned is money and Kandi's lawyer says that the only major comments on the prenup were dealing with money. I don't see Kandi in the wrong here because she had her lawyer draw up exactly what the couple discussed (minus the 30 day thing, which she quickly acquiesced on). It's Todd that decided to wait and hire a lawyer after the prenup was drawn up instead of hiring a lawyer earlier to work with Kandi's lawyer in constructing this document. And it is Todd who is delivering misinformation about what he thinks he deserves if this marriage ends.

 

He's no victim, he's just more articulate in his THs and able to present his case more eloquently than Kandi. What Kandi has mentioned but failed to drive home is that everything Kandi&Todd do together professionally is split 50/50, so basically, whatever Kandi makes is what Todd makes (minus whatever she gets from songwriting and sex toys). Alimony and divorce settlements are meant to protect stay-at-home spouses who give their potential careers to support their partner and take care of the kids/home. That is not Todd as he continues to work. Given that he's been working in LA the past few months (as a poster mentioned above), he is clearly not limited to Georgia. Kandi was simply asking Todd to prioritize making money by growing businesses as a couple rather than making money by working for other productions. She had a vision of them being a Bey&Jay-Z together (where he would make 50% of the money!), not just to stay in Georgia to be up under her.

 

I get that folks aren't exactly loving Kandi right now due to how she's handling MJ and Todd gets sympathy for what he's going through there, so I see how it's easier to see Todd's side of things when it comes to this prenup situation.

 

In regards to the money, Kandi isn't being selfish, she's protecting Riley. Every dollar that's given to Todd in the event of a divorce or Kandi's death is a dollar that Riley does not inherit. Quite honestly, looking at it from an adult Riley's future perspective, I would be pissed as hell if my mother divorced or died and half of her estate went to some dude that my mom married a decade and a half after she had built her empire instead of it going to me. If Todd was there to support Kandi by being a SAHD or help build these businesses back when she was coming up in the late 90's and early 2000's, then he would have a case, but he wasn't. If that money goes to Todd, he's likely to leave it to his daughter when he dies (given that I assume he won't need that money to live on since he makes a decent salary with Todd Tucker Productions and his projects as production manager). Why should Todd's daughter inherit part of Kandi's estate instead of Riley? That doesn't make sense to me.

 

The prenup seems cold, but that's what contracts are. There's not going to be any touchy-feely language in a contract. I think Todd was okay with the idea of not taking any of Kandi's money until he saw it in black and white, but that's not Kandi's fault or problem. She presented Todd with the contract that they verbally agreed on months ago and she's already agreed to take out the 30 day move out stuff that they hadn't verbally agreed on. 

[Talented Tenth]

If the roles were reversed, I'd feel the same way unless the woman was a stay-at-home mom.  Typically, when rich men get a wife, they get a trophy who is expected to take care of the children.  If Todd were a stay-at-home dad who couldn't work full time, then I would think he should get something in the event of the divorce.  In Kandi and Todd's situation, he was working coming into the relationship, he worked on things with Kandi and he is continuing to work.  There's no reason for him to get any of her money unless she wants him to have it.  I think in general, if a person with millions isn't marring another millionaire, there will always be a question of whether or not the person is after the money.  A prenup is a way to ease the mind and protect one's self.

Edited June 28, 2014 by Talented Tenth

[cooksdelight]

This is sweet. At some point, the man was there for his kids. MJ must have run him off.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152554021484380&set=a.289501084379.143045.235984194379&type=1&theater

[selhars]

1) No one who thinks Kandi has been -- to use a another person's word, "stank" about this prenup -- has said anything about Todd getting half of Kandi's money (and there's that much less for Riley).

2) Todd may be working in LA now. But I think it's been established that he's already turned down jobs because Kandi wanted him in ATL. So that is already money he's lost and won't get back.

 

I'm curious about why he's working in LA now.....did he become more assertive and say, "Look baby I've got to work, and most of my gig's WON"T be in ATL." and did Kandi just give in.....OR now that they're married she feels more secure about letting him out of her sight. IF it's the latter, how insecure must she be. That's not a positive thing for a marriage either. Spousal insecurities.....NOT good.

Edited June 27, 2014 by selhars

[swankie]

Watching the scene of Kandi and Joyce at her brother's grave and when Joyce said that her son came to her and said he's alright and not to worry it sent chills through me.  It's the exact same thing that my mother-in-law said about my ex husband when he passed, that he came to her and told her not to worry, he was alright.  Very touching moment.