S07.E17: I Still Do?

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Tristan said he didn't want a woman darker than himself.  Is that being a "colorist"? Humans are allowed to,  and do,  have preferences in partners. 

There's a difference.  What Tristan was saying is he doesn't want to be with a woman who looks BLACK.  It's not the same as saying you prefer blondes or redheads, you're not saying that you don't want a woman who looks like YOUR race.

IMO Amber was insecure because Amber was insecure, not because of anything Dave or the show "did to her."  I think Amber, like Dave, is one of those people for whom everything is a contest.  She was upset Danielle was pregnant before her.  She needs real therapy.

Edited October 24, 2018 by Neurochick

[Ilovepie]

1 hour ago, psychoticstate said:

And as far as that goes, Dave should have been honest about that.  Sure, Amber seemed exhausting at times but own up to your part in it.  Certainly by Decision Day.  It wasn't fair to Amber at all.

Perhaps he was honest about his feelings about gym guy but we did not see it because that is not the storyline they wanted to play out with them. 

[Empress1]

7 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Amber looks good with the darker hair. Looks like she got a better cut and is conditioning the hell out of it, too!

Amber's hair does look better brown but the color was flat. She needs some highlights. It still looks dry; she has a long road to restore it back to health. I'm guessing the cut is to blend the breakage she was talking about, which is a good call on her (or her hairdresser's) part. But it looks much better than the blonde. I wonder if she saw herself on TV and was like, yikes. I like her blue dress - the color was good on her and the dress itself was cute. 

Quote

See I don't believe Mia when she said this because she is always making herself out to be the victim. Before Mia went on and said this Tristan said a video popped up on his Facebook of his ex and Mia flipped out. So its sort of a he said/she said story.

Yeah, and of the two of them, only one has a history of lying that we've seen. IMO Mia is the less trustworthy of the two. He's on my shit list because of the colorist comment but at the same time, I'm so glad he's free. You could tell he's been through it - I totally got what he was saying that things were either really good or really bad, and he just wanted some regular days. That was never going to happen with Mia.

Edited October 24, 2018 by Empress1

[humbleopinion]

Amber redeemed herself by leaving Dave while he was out of the condo...having him in the condo watching her pack up and not helping would have been just too humiliating.

Amber is funny and even with her high maintenance ways, she will find relationships to make her happy.

I still think she would be a great trophy second wife and stepmother to kids...

Dave has already moved on and probably brought a date to the Wrap Party....

Wonder how long he will wait until he gives Amber's friend, Ashley a call....

[crazychicken]

3 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Most likely Dave started hinting heavily he wanted Amber gone as soon as they got home from the Decision Day taping.

Let's imagine the ways he started acting...disinterested in sexy time, complaining about her stuff invading his space, Paisley's cat box, Amber not doing any chores, not paying her share of the food, he probably stopped cooking for her all together, not including her on the bro group family bbqs and making snide, cutting  comments since there was no audio guy or camera guy to catch them.

Patient, understanding on camera Dave became judgey, persnickety, pissed off and closed off Dave.

He was relieved she moved out because he wanted her out...he was done with her.

Dave came off as the bag of dicks we all knew he was...

Amber, unfortunately didn't know Dave as well as she thought and should have gotten out at Decision Day.

But this is just your spin on what went on, we really have no idea other than Dave went to golf and Amber moved out. I think Amber wanted Dave to chase her and beg her to come back so that she could feel wanted instead it backfired and Dave took it as a sign they were done and moved on. The problem with these two really is they have such different personalities, Amber needs constant reassurance that she is the center of her partners world while Dave just assumes that she knows that she is important to him as he is there still trying to maintain the relationship. Amber needs somebody that reassures her and comforts her through her emotional outburst while Dave I think will do fine with a confident woman that knows what she wants and what she will tolerate. Maybe I just understand Dave better as I am analytical too rather than emotional if you see a problem you fix it while Amber needs to emote before she moves onto thinking of a solution, neither of them are bad people they are just a bad combination.

[Jax7917]

I really don't think Dave cared about her dating the friend the way Amber thinks he did. I think she was driving him crazy with her insecurities but he felt bad using that as the reason that he wanted to end the marriage. She was annoying and we only saw a few minutes of each of their weeks together. She thought he was attracted to her friend because she had brown hair? I'm sorry, that's insane. Everything he said, she jumped down his throat. That being said, I would never want to date Dave. He has such a cold personality and has such a dryness to him. He comes off as stuck up and has no idea how  to read women. I think that both of them were at fault for it ending but that's what happens when you don't choose each other from the beginning. You have no good memories to look back on or history for you to care about working on the marriage. I don't blame him for not wanting to go to counseling. He knew he'd be wasting her time. The only reason she wanted to work on it is because if she didn't , she'd have to start over and meet someone new which meant too much time before having a baby.

Bobby and Danielle are cute together but reality tv shows they are not made for. What is their new reality show going to be about? They are a snooze fest.

[Ilovepie]

9 minutes ago, crazychicken said:

But this is just your spin on what went on, we really have no idea other than Dave went to golf and Amber moved out. I think Amber wanted Dave to chase her and beg her to come back so that she could feel wanted instead it backfired and Dave took it as a sign they were done and moved on. The problem with these two really is they have such different personalities, Amber needs constant reassurance that she is the center of her partners world while Dave just assumes that she knows that she is important to him as he is there still trying to maintain the relationship. Amber needs somebody that reassures her and comforts her through her emotional outburst while Dave I think will do fine with a confident woman that knows what she wants and what she will tolerate. Maybe I just understand Dave better as I am analytical too rather than emotional if you see a problem you fix it while Amber needs to emote before she moves onto thinking of a solution, neither of them are bad people they are just a bad combination.

Yes to all of this. They are opposites. It was the right call to resist counseling. We as an audience know they should split - why is he a bad guy because he agrees? These “experts” have their own agenda forcing people to stay together so they can brag about it. Amber knew it was over before she sat on that couch. The real assholes here are the experts for trying to give false hope by suggesting counseling for a dead relationship. Both of these people deserve something better than they got, not because either one is bad, but because they don’t belong together.

[humbleopinion]

If Amber and Dave were honest at the Finale show then I wouldn't be speculating...but everyone was in full image control.

Dave was infatuated until Amber's reveal that she dated Gym guy....was she smart to get ahead of that nugget or should she have waited?...even though the relationship with Gym guy happened a few years prior.

Dave couldn't reconcile Gym guy plus Amber's continued pulling of the fire alarm for every comment he made and she misconstrued or misheard.

Dave will most likely match with a woman who is his twin...but with better teeth.

[Jax7917]

I don't understand why anyone would have anything hateful to say about Tristan because he wanted to be matched with a woman with lighter skin... don't a lot of women want men that are taller than them? A lot of men want women who are shorter than them? would people bash them for saying that? This world is becoming so ridiculous. He was being honest in his interviews.

[aphroditewitch]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

 

Why did the experts pick two people that probably lived so close to each other like Dave and Amber?  Too close for comfort.

 

They matched people who didn't live close to each other in season 2. That didn't work out well either.

[humbleopinion]

Thinking Dave changed his Lifetime Gym location or at least the time he works out to avoid running into her... Amber still goes to the same location and does the same group classes since her 2 bffs do the class with her...

Since they live so close wonder if he if ducking around the shelves if he sees her at the Tom Thumb (the local grocery store chain)...or she's hiding behind a gas pump at the neighborhood filling station...

[Lovecat]

13 hours ago, lizajane said:

I cringed when she [Samantha Harris] came on. So annoying, but she didn't ask as many asinine questions as she did when she was on DWTS.  Her repeated use of "ixpearamint" drove me nuts. She was not a needed addition for sure.

I had forgotten how annoying she is.  When she hollered, "Let's welcome back...Tristan!" I looked around my living room like, "Are you talking to me?  Because you're aware you have no studio audience, right?"  Did she expect the experts (and/or Mia) to stand and applaud?  He was only returning from a brief trip backstage, not from 'Nam.  Though one could compare being married to Mia...hey-oh!  I'll be here all week; try the veal and tip your waitress.

[gonecrackers]

Danielle & Bobby are Mr. & Mrs. Boring & will have a lovely little Baby Boring soon. Not a bad thing for them but not TV worthy; show probably needed filler for the new First Year. I think she was pregnant very quickly after the decision day wrap, if not before.

[humbleopinion]

Agreed, the host was hollering like she was calling an hog auction...

Expected the "experts" looking at each other confused wondering who she was belting out her reintroduction of Tristan to.....

Wonder if Bobby killed, skinned and cured the fur skin vest Danielle is wearing in the baby announcement photo...joking...

Henry and Nelly only...guess the latest foster doggie didn't make the family portrait.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

26 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Agreed, the host was hollering like she was calling an hog auction...

Expected the "experts" looking at each other confused wondering who she was belting out her reintroduction of Tristan to.....

Wonder if Bobby killed, skinned and cured the fur skin vest Danielle is wearing in the baby announcement photo...joking...

Henry and Nelly only...guess the latest foster doggie didn't make the family portrait.

Maybe that foster found a "forever home," that's what it's all about.  :)

[Guest]

On 10/23/2018 at 10:02 PM, Empress1 said:

Me too, because I just don't think it's a big deal. Like Pepper says, we're adults. We all have a past. They're over 35, they're not virgins, and it's not odd that their social circles might overlap. And if the gym guy DID talk trash about Amber, that says more about him than about Amber and more about Dave for believing it and letting it color his relationship with Amber. They're over 35, they're not in high school. Amber dating people before Dave doesn't make her a "ho."

They're just better off apart. I do commend Dave for not being sucked into counseling; it's a waste of their time. Amber deserves someone who won't judge her. I wasn't surprised when she said she wouldn't do this again.

Exactly! They're both very high school in totally different ways. At the end of the day, they're both at fault because they chose to fixate on ridiculous things. Amber's insecurity about hair colors and Dave wanting to date other women solely based on hair color and spinning out over the inane rating exercise was frivolous and incredibly juvenile. She constantly shot herself in the foot in my opinion because whenever Dave would start actually like her and think that they had a future, she would latch on to something stupid and turn the next 12 hours into a fight because Dave said thank you to the brunette grocery store cashier or whatever. With that said, Dave had huge issues with immaturity too. As you said, they're 35, not high school sweethearts. It's not like Dave or the gym dude for that matter took Amber's virginity. I'm guessing his body count is well beyond single digits at this point. What kind of misogynistic locker room talk happened at that gym where Dave would've been put off the prospect of even getting to know Amber had he known? What kind of dick measuring contest is this? He might as well have just peed all over her to save himself some time. He just got to frame himself as the rational, levelheaded one because his issues were ones about Manliness and Bro Ethics, whereas Amber's could be easily brushed aside as hysterics about femininity and imagined rivalry with other women. Hey Dave, wasn't your main bone of contention sticking your bone when your gym buddy's had been? it's the same paranoia and insecurity but Amber got all the bad rap in my opinion. It reminds me of my junior year of high school where a girl was dating a boy who was absolutely infatuated with her. She started hanging out with his social group and soon dumped him for his friend, who she dated for years afterwards and ultimately wound up marrying. I think they eventually got over it, but the rest of that year was… awkward between them to say the least. At least we were actually 16 and not halfway to 40.

Edited October 25, 2018 by Guest

[aphroditewitch]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

There's a difference.  What Tristan was saying is he doesn't want to be with a woman who looks BLACK.  It's not the same as saying you prefer blondes or redheads, you're not saying that you don't want a woman who looks like YOUR race.

 

Tristan fetishizes ethnically ambiguous women. He wants to whine about being called out for his colorism but it is true. He doesn't want to be judged by something he said but he meant those words. He told the world who he really is in those few seconds.

[Starlight925]

Bobby and Danielle read as "boring", because there is just no drama there.

What they are, is "normal".

We all want there to be drama, 'cause this is Reality TV, darn it!

But neither one ever created any drama, darn them!

Danielle moved in with Bobby, despite adding 1 hour to her commute.  But she never complained!

Bobby took on all the caring for her foster dogs, but he never complained!

Danielle took on his (IMO somewhat overpowering) family, and she never complained!

The two of them have just gone along with life.....dogs, family, commutes, work.....and it appears to be working.

They should be a lesson for everyone out there:

A good marriage doesn't have to be hard!

Edited October 24, 2018 by Sterling

[Jax7917]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

There's a difference.  What Tristan was saying is he doesn't want to be with a woman who looks BLACK.  It's not the same as saying you prefer blondes or redheads, you're not saying that you don't want a woman who looks like YOUR race.

 

Physical appearance is physical appearance. The "experts" ask them detailed questions about what types of people they would prefer.. they ask in terms of personality/ religion/ looks, etc. He was just being honest with what look he prefers. Doesn't mean he hates someone who has his coloring.. it just means he tends to be attracted to a certain look the same way everyone is in their own way. These people deserve to be judged for their actions .. but not for their physical preferences. It is the same as a dating website. You like what you like.

[aphroditewitch]

1 minute ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Physical appearance is physical appearance. The "experts" ask them detailed questions about what types of people they would prefer.. they ask in terms of personality/ religion/ looks, etc. He was just being honest with what look he prefers. Doesn't mean he hates someone who has his coloring.. it just means he tends to be attracted to a certain look the same way everyone is in their own way. These people deserve to be judged for their actions .. but not for their physical preferences. It is the same as a dating website. You like what you like.

Except it is not remotely the same. 

[Jax7917]

5 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

Except it is not remotely the same. 

Sure. So people who go on Jdate , Christian Mingle, Blackpeoplemeet.com , etc are all racist?

Edited October 24, 2018 by Jaclyn88

[StatisticalOutlier]

15 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I wish Danielle wouldn't start so many sentences with "I mean..."

It's a fucking plague.  And once you notice it, you can't start not-noticing it.

Pro tip:  Do NOT watch House Hunters.

[Spectator]

2 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Sure. So people who go on Jdate , Christian Mingle, Blackpeoplemeet.com , etc are all racist?

I absolutely see your point. All I know is if I were going on this show and had an obvious physical preference for a certain, specific look, I would state it. The odds of things working out on this show are so slim, if there’s instant physical attraction that would at least help. As an African American woman, I don’t see skin color as being any different than hair color. I’m actually proud of that. I don’t want to put my race in a “protected category”, I just want it to be one in a list of my physical characteristics. And I don’t care if someone says I’m too dark for them. Nor would I care if someone said they preferred straight hair to my more natural look. To each their own. To me it’s no different than a white guy saying he prefers pale faced blondes. I don’t think it’s racist, it’s just what that particular person finds more attractive. Tristan’s not making some blanket, racist statement that lighter skinned woman are more attractive in general, he’s just saying they are more attractive TO HIM. No big deal. I can’t be everyone’s dream woman and I’m ok with that. 

[Kdawg82]

Please! If Amber's low maintenance, tall brunette friend that they met up at the gym that 1 time and Dave's eyes bulged out of his sockets upon meeting her -if SHE "had" the whole gym, Dave would forgive and see past it! He's not into Amber AT ALL. Glad to see her self esteem back on point though as it should be and her not pouting over Dave's decision not to try. She had "revenge" brunette hair I think lol. 

I called Danielle being preg from the previews last week bc holy boobs batman! Good for them. Sounds like Bobby is getting something awesome in return for all his care towards her-a bundle of joy! Good on her for taking the leap. I was a little offput originally when she commented to her s-i-l & m-i-l at lunch that day about "around kids all day make me want to kill myself" or something to that effect. As a stay at home mom I sometimes feel looked down on but I have utmost respect for working moms bc it is HARD being mom. Period. And- working fathers as well. You all rock! Whatever Danielle chooses,  I'm glad she has a good partner! 

Also lol at Tristan's face and head hanging AS SOON AS experts began talking to them as a couple.  Dude looked like he was eye rolling and fake sleeping at times...Lmfao! Finally- the reaction they all deserve!

[JapMo]

13 hours ago, zoltana said:

I really got the impression that Dave has already started dating.  He just had this look on his face like, yeah, we won't be getting back together because I've got so many numbers now....  

I thought the look on his face, when Amber said she wanted to go to counseling, was like....'what the hell, Amber, we TALKED about this and now you're pulling this stunt to force me to be the bad guy.'  I went back and forth all season on Dave, but I think he was gentle to and about Amber and still was able to convey a hard line that they would not be getting back together.  Amber surprised me over the fact she was taking the blame for everything and STILL wanted to continue in hole-ly Matrimony.

[Kdawg82]

8 minutes ago, JapMo said:

Amber surprised me over the fact she was taking the blame for everything and STILL wanted to continue in hole-ly Matrimony.

Yeah! This was weird! Maybe last ditch effort to hold marriage together bc she isn't getting as many #s as he is? She honestly LOOKed better and kinder visually IMO  bc of her better self esteem. Confidence is attractive and it will never stop being a universal truth.  If you crawl out of the dumpster but have confidence and chin up then you can pull it off. But her skin needs some TLC . One comment I can't hold back on. It looks like my gravel driveway. Please switch creams or use $ on facials instead of cheap shoes.

[JapMo]

4 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

The hostess was a no for me...her feigned enthusiasm was too over the top for a basic cable TV show.

Nobody could be as over-the-top as Jaime.  The girl hardly takes a breath the entire episode she's so "on".

[Lovecat]

1 hour ago, Sterling said:

Bobby and Danielle read as "boring", because there is just no drama there.

What they are, is "normal".

We all want there to be drama, 'cause this is Reality TV, darn it!

But neither one ever created any drama, darn them!

Danielle moved in with Bobby, despite adding 1 hour to her commute.  But she never complained!

Bobby took on all the caring for her foster dogs, but he never complained!

Danielle took on his (IMO somewhat overpowering) family, and she never complained!

The two of them have just gone along with life.....dogs, family, commutes, work.....and it appears to be working.

They should be a lesson for everyone out there:

A good marriage doesn't have to be hard!

A-freaking-men.  My husband and I very rarely argue, in fact the "worst" arguments we've ever had were during the wedding planning process, and always about the stupid flowers :)  LIFE is not always easy--we've been married for 13 months and at the 9-month mark I was diagnosed with some scary health issues--but our MARRIAGE has been easy.  We love, respect, and care for each other, and have a true partnership that will get us through anything that comes along.

Then again we do have to keep in mind that these people were put together by a third party, and didn't have the benefit of building the foundation of a good marriage.  They all might have looked good "on paper," but obviously A/D and M/T were incompatible from the get-go.  This whole "experiment" is a set-up to bring the drama, really.  D/B might be "boring," but they took their time and put in the work, and I wish them all the best.

[JapMo]

2 hours ago, Lovecat said:

He was only returning from a brief trip backstage, not from 'Nam.  Though one could compare being married to Mia...hey-oh!  I'll be here all week; try the veal and tip your waitress.

OMG I almost spit out my water, LOL.

[Kdawg82]

3 hours ago, Neurochick said:

There's a difference.  What Tristan was saying is he doesn't want to be with a woman who looks BLACK.  It's not the same as saying you prefer blondes or redheads, you're not saying that you don't want a woman who looks like YOUR race

I haven't understood the colorist thing all along but think I get it now. They've asked women in the past seasons if they'd date out of their race/ethnicity and they said "no. I'll only be matched w a white man, etc." To stick with your own ethnicity flat out isn't as bad as colorism bc it indicates you have cultural similarities and want to remain within your culture.  But to marry in the same culture/ethnicity and say "but the skin needs to be x,y,z" is actually worse bc it is your same culture but you're excluding based on looks alone. 

Either way I found Tristan douchey and immature. Mia took advantage of those characteristics in him to paint a portrait of him to fit her own narrative.  Both baddies.

[gonecrackers]

I still have to hold on judging Tristan over his 'colorist' comments. It was a 5 second clip & it's interesting that's one they chose to show of him, knowing full well it would give him hell online & otherwise.  I'm sure anyone could say something offensive in 5 seconds that, not truly knowing the person, could easily be taken wrong...  JMO

And again I think karma has been more than fulfilled for him in having been matched with Mia.

Edited October 24, 2018 by gonecrackers

[JapMo]

12 minutes ago, Lovecat said:

My husband and I very rarely argue, in fact the "worst" arguments we've ever had were during the wedding planning process, and always about the stupid flowers :)

Ha ha....my husband and I argued for 32 years until his death about what the first song was that played at our wedding.  We never resolved it.

Want to say that I think Amber's shock at Danielle being pregnant is that it was just so soon.  I don't think there was any jealousy.  Yeah, Amber wants a baby too, but IMO at that moment it was just pure shock because they were so newly married.

For some reason people hate Samantha Harris.  I don't know why.  I don't think she did a bad job last night.  

[LuvMyShows]

4 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I think that Amber's comment that Dave as well as ALL three experts recommended that they find a new gym together but she resisted kind of said it all.  Amber had continually been all about her wants/desires throughout the season.  She interpreted everything that Dave said into what she heard versus what he said (example: when she turned his comment about letting her hair go natural if it wasn't healthy to her statements that he wanted her to change her hair color).  I believe that Dave was willing to give it a shot by suggesting that they change gyms, but she didn't want to. 

I really hate to defend Amber, but I'm with her about not changing gyms, for two reasons...1) There is no telling how far she'd have to drive to get to some other branch gym if she wanted to stay with Lifetime, and in that area, it could easily double the driving time, which is no small factor.  And if she had to leave Lifetime completely and find another gym, it's doubtful there would be one that she liked as much or that had the equipment/classes that she needed, or else she would have joined it in the first place.  2) But more importantly, there is absolutely no reason to believe that changing gyms would have solved anything.  Whatever Dave's bro friend said to him has already been said, and can't be un-heard or un-considered.  Also, no one said the problem was with continuing to run into this guy at the gym.  So leaving would not have accomplished anything positive, and only provided negatives.  

4 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

 Just because she has been caught in so many lies, I automatically believe Tristan whenever their stories don't match (whether or not he is actually telling the truth). 

This is sad, but true.  I think Tristan might be a sh*t, but we don't know other than the few things we saw, because Mia's track record has caused her to not be a credible reporter.

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Sure. So people who go on Jdate , Christian Mingle, Blackpeoplemeet.com , etc are all racist?

There's nothing wrong with wanting to only date people of your race/religion.  If Tristan said he didn't mind dating outside of his race, no problem.  However what he said was he wasn't attracted to women darker than he.  That's not the same as wanting to date within your race/culture.

[princelina]

4 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

  I am very happy for Danielle and Bobby, and am looking forward to seeing them on the next show.  However, I also fear for them as becoming reality stars doesn't seem to lead to happy and lasting marriages for many people on various reality shows.

I agree - and Danielle did NOT look very happy as they announced their next show!  I hope all 3 of the couples are just there to smile for the camera, get that college-fund check, and then run away from this franchise.

 

4 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I really don't think Dave cared about her dating the friend the way Amber thinks he did. I think she was driving him crazy with her insecurities but he felt bad using that as the reason that he wanted to end the marriage. She was annoying and we only saw a few minutes of each of their weeks together. She thought he was attracted to her friend because she had brown hair? I'm sorry, that's insane. Everything he said, she jumped down his throat. 

That's kind of why I feel that gym guy may have said something that turned out to be true about Amber (super insecure? never satisfied? always picking fights?)

[LuvMyShows]

21 minutes ago, JapMo said:

Want to say that I think Amber's shock at Danielle being pregnant is that it was just so soon.  I don't think there was any jealousy.  Yeah, Amber wants a baby too, but IMO at that moment it was just pure shock because they were so newly married.

Yes there was likely shock on Amber's part about it being so soon, but said the words "What about me?" in reply to the news. That's not about Danielle, that's about herself.

[Yeah No]

16 hours ago, CousinOliver said:

My sweetheart and I both think that whatever Dave learned about Amber from unnamed gym dude puts her in a bad enough light that David is being respectful to Amber by not putting it out there on TV.  Even Amber panicked when she realized they went to the same gym because she had dated there.  

Perhaps Amber cheated on the guy and Dave was unable to trust her knowing she would do that.

But I also think Dave not putting it out there on TV might be to protect and respect the guy more than Amber.  After all, he had no problem throwing her under the bus on this show for her "insecurity" (which I think was warranted after finding out he was holding gym guy against her all this time).  Whether or not the real story made the guy look bad Dave would be all about protecting one of his "bro's" privacy.  Whatever the guy said about her of course Dave would be more likely to believe than to believe Amber.  There are two sides to every story but bros before ho's is Dave's motto (eye roll).  I couldn't have hated him more than in this episode, BTW.  I've been there and done that in relationships in my life and let me tell you, a guy that won't take you back in a situation like that never wanted you in the first place.  Amber is better off without this creep and her so called "insecurity" was based on FACT, not FICTION.

15 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

So .. Dave was USING Amber for sex every night.  He knew he wasn’t going the distance but he still used her.  That is what you call a creep.  Amber probably had hope that he would fall for her, so she engaged in sex.  Sad.   Now, she has to find a new gym for sure.  She must feel like a jerk.

THIS!

6 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

Or the guy from the Gym is just a creep who disses every woman he hooks up with to his bros. Not sure why it makes a woman look bad that a guy behaves like that, since it says way more about his character than it does hers. 

AND THIS TOO!!  EXACTLY!  Why is everyone believing the guy's version is the truth and Amber is to blame for this????  Some bitter douchebag we don't even know?  I'm not willing to just believe that without more information.  I wonder if after this Amber may become more vocal about what really happened.  I hope so because I have a feeling she deserves more sympathy.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, crazychicken said:

But this is just your spin on what went on, we really have no idea other than Dave went to golf and Amber moved out. I think Amber wanted Dave to chase her and beg her to come back so that she could feel wanted instead it backfired and Dave took it as a sign they were done and moved on. The problem with these two really is they have such different personalities, Amber needs constant reassurance that she is the center of her partners world while Dave just assumes that she knows that she is important to him as he is there still trying to maintain the relationship. Amber needs somebody that reassures her and comforts her through her emotional outburst while Dave I think will do fine with a confident woman that knows what she wants and what she will tolerate. Maybe I just understand Dave better as I am analytical too rather than emotional if you see a problem you fix it while Amber needs to emote before she moves onto thinking of a solution, neither of them are bad people they are just a bad combination.

What was important to Dave was two rolls in the bed with Amber every day and not having to give much in order to get it.  Amber did the right thing by moving out because she got her definitive answer on where he was coming from.  He really didn't care enough about her to beg her to come back.  I am sorry but I have been around the block with men and this just shows exactly where he was coming from.  And he is STILL trying to make it look like it is all about her "insecurity".  Well, obviously her insecurity was based on his inability to let go of whatever "gym guy" said about her.  She knew Dave felt that way all along, that's why she felt insecure.  She had a good REASON to feel insecure.  You're not really insecure if you have a good REASON to be.  Her calling him on it just made him dig his heels in and not admit to anything, that's why he is coming off as indignant and making her look like an insecure mess.  When Amber finds a guy that truly loves her for her she will look like a strong, confident woman.  Dave was CRUSHING her self-esteem with his attitude and she deserved someone who affirmed her.   I don't think it's any mark on her for not being able to stand up to that.  In the end, though, she did the strong thing by moving out and he did her a favor by not wanting her back.  She got her answer and now she can move on.  She will be OK and will meet someone that will love her.  I am sure of that.

[MV713]

5 hours ago, Neurochick said:

There's a difference.  What Tristan was saying is he doesn't want to be with a woman who looks BLACK.  It's not the same as saying you prefer blondes or redheads, you're not saying that you don't want a woman who looks like YOUR race.

IMO Amber was insecure because Amber was insecure, not because of anything Dave or the show "did to her."  I think Amber, like Dave, is one of those people for whom everything is a contest.  She was upset Danielle was pregnant before her.  She needs real therapy.

Mia designates herself "Jamaican/Trini" so I don't even know if that is Black.  Its more West Indian.  

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, Neurochick said:

There's a difference.  What Tristan was saying is he doesn't want to be with a woman who looks BLACK.  It's not the same as saying you prefer blondes or redheads, you're not saying that you don't want a woman who looks like YOUR race.

@Neurochick, I have actually come around to agreeing with you that Tristan not wanting a woman darker than him was motivated by colorism, not just "preference" like hair color or height, etc.  It took me a while to get there but especially after watching him shed those crocodile tears and insist he's not colorist, I don't believe him.  I was leaning in that direction anyway.  I did some reading and watching of YouTube videos reacting to Tristan on this subject and now I get it.

[Neurochick]

17 minutes ago, MV713 said:

Mia designates herself "Jamaican/Trini" so I don't even know if that is Black.  Its more West Indian.  

I'm confused.  Black is a race, not a nationality.  You can be black and from America, or black and from the West Indies, or Black and from South American, or black from the continent of Africa.

[Empress1]

3 minutes ago, MV713 said:

Mia designates herself "Jamaican/Trini" so I don't even know if that is Black.  Its more West Indian.  

I think you are assuming that Black = African-American. My maternal great-grandfather was Trini, maternal great-grandmother was from Barbados. They each immigrated to NYC and met, married, and started a family there; that side of my family is there to this day, 100 years later. My great-grandparents weren't American but they were Black. Like @Neurochick says, you can be Black and be from anywhere. Idris Elba is Black and British.

IIRC, Mia's mother is Jamaican (from the island) and her father is Indo-Caribbean (meaning he's Indian by way of the Caribbean - I assume that's the Trini part of Mia although I'm not sure. Trinidad and Tobago have a big Indian population), so she's half-Black, half-Indian. Looking at her, I thought she was 100% Indian until we met her mother.

[Marsh]

1- Tristan and mia said they're divorced.

Dr. Blondie: “I don't see this as a failure”

Oh really?  Because they’re divorced...and probably hate each other.  And the definition of failure is “lack of success”.

 

2- Dave said he wants to get a divorce.

Disaster Cal: “I think this marriage can still be saved”.

Did you watch the same show I did.  No it can't, quit trying to convince them to stay together so you can raise your terrible marriage success rate up to 10-15% or whatever it is.

 

3- I didn't finish the episode.  Idc about the lovebirds I'm just in it for explosive fights and drama.

Edited October 24, 2018 by Marsh
Light lunch edit

[Yeah No]

2 minutes ago, Marsh said:

1- Tristan and mia said they're divorced.

Dr. Blondie: “I don't see this as a failure”

Oh really?  Because they’re divorced...and probably hate each other.  And the definition of failure is “lack of success”.

Dr. Blondie:  "I don't see this as a failure".

Well, I'm sure it's hard for her to see anything as a failure when she's getting boned twice a night by hottie Jonathan.

[Aethera]

Stop sniping at one another, please. And let’s move on from the generalized discussion and get back to the episode.

[scruffy73]

For a black person to say he doesn’t want someone who looks like a black person, it gives off the “the closer to white, the closer to right” kind of feel. And as a black person on the receiving end of that, it is painful to be rejected for being and looking black by someone black. You can trace it back to the slave plantation where lighter skinned slaves may have been treated better than darker hued slaves. It continues even today in that lighter hued people may be looked at as more preferable than a darker skinned person. So no, it is not as simple as “preference”, there is a history there. A painful history of discrimination even within our race.

[Matty]

I'll add a positive comment to this thread. I'm so happy that Henry and Nellie get a new baby sister or brother. That is all. Back to the snark.

Edited October 24, 2018 by Matty

[humbleopinion]

Sniping pause....

Bobby's hunting dog is Nelly/Nellie.

Henry is now Bobby's, too.

Did anyone else see the little periwinkle sandals between the dogs..must be borrowed from their cousin Lola. So cute. Spoiler hint.

Back to your more serious discussion....

Edited October 25, 2018 by humbleopinion

[GenY]

4 minutes ago, Apollo said:

On Bobby & Danielle:  Okay, so, just checking into these boards for the 1st time in a long time --  I have not gone through all the earlier threads from the beginning of this season, so I don't know what everyone thinks yet -- but, I am so surprised, on this latest thread, that literally no one thinks it's odd that Bobby has been jumping through hoops for Danielle from day one, taking on her commitments and responsibilities while she was away for work and sort of instantly becoming a house-husband and bending to her every wish.  NOW, if that doesn't create an "argument-free" relationship, what will?   

Didn't she also say she wasn't ready for home-life/Mom-life yet, because of her commitment to her career?  That she could NOT see herself "at home" when she spoke to his Mom and sister. 

Exactly what has changed?  Will he now be caring for the random foster puppies (and poop) and the baby too, while she's away someplace?  I want the best for them both, especially now that a precious life is on the way, but I am wondering about the 360 turn? 

I cringed this entire show each time he took on something else for her and how he waited an eternity for some verbal feedback of her feelings, which still seems orchestrated by producers, especially in this last episode, where she turns to face him . . . Seemed like she was being told to do that to "create a moment".

She was never rude or aggressive towards him and seems like a lovely person, but I just kept feeling like she was bound and determined to "get her way" in a very quiet sort of way.  Is there something I am missing?  Anyone else pick up on this?

I wanna Know her secret lol

[Spectator]

I just think everyone should LOVE and embrace their own skin color and love themselves! If some guy named Tristan doesn’t like darker skinned women, so what? I don’t see that as an assault on me or on my race. It’s just his personal preference and not a big deal to me at all. Tristan’s preference certainly isn’t a universal preference. For every “Tristan” out there, there’s another guy who prefers the darkest woman he can find. And I think that is awesome. I don’t in any way hold it against Tristan for expressing his preference. If I did then wouldn’t I have to disapprove of every interracial couple I know? And then wouldn’t I be the racist one? I don’t take it personally when someone prefers a woman who looks different than I. I’m not offended one bit. I actually applaud men who have enough self awareness to figure out what they do and don’t prefer in a partner. The fact that we are all different shades makes us all the more interesting and ultimately more beautiful. Wouldn’t it be dull if every single person on the planet had the exact same skin color? And isn’t it wonderful that not every single person on the planet is attracted to the exact same skin color. There is someone out there for everyone. If one guy says “no thanks” to my darker skin, there’s another one out there who will happily say “yes please”. I love my skin color but I certainly wouldn’t resent someone who prefers something different. I said it before...to each their own. My skin color is just one of many many physical characteristics that make me “me”. I like the way I look,  but I certainly don’t expect everyone else out there to agree, regardless of their race, haircolor, height, whatever. And that’s absolutely ok with me.