S08.E09: Something New

[wanderwoman]

I didn't see a thread for this episode, yet.

 

Omg!  That episode was painful.  Jessa has to be rated her ability to cook Ben's fave foods?  She is sooooooo not naturally domestic and it's hard to watch her TRY so hard to fit into the narrow vision of womanhood that these families aspire to.  

 

Why don't the men have to "prove up" their end of the deal.   I don't see Ben building a home to Jessa's liking.  

 

"It was so awesome to see the most beautiful girl in the world standing there with an apron on." - Ben

All I hear is.... "beyotch, go make me a turkey pot pie!" Ala Judd Nelson in Breakfast Club.

SPICE RACK (my new name for Jinger) nailed it: "This is awkwardly."

Edited May 21, 2014 by maraleia

[Lillybee]

I think that fetticuni alfredo with chicken has to be gourmet food for a Duggar. Jessa does cook, she is assigned to either lunch or dinner duty in the TTH. Maybe she is smart enough to know that making the recipes at home isn't really cooking. That apple pie looked great.

[maraleia]

 

Jessa and Jinger head to Ben's house, where his sisters teach Jessa how to cook his favorite meal. In DC, Josh & Anna, along with Jana and Joseph, embark on a skiing trip. Michelle spends time with Joy Anna as she tries her hand at the violin.

 

[mbutterfly]

I didn't see a thread for this episode, yet.

 

Omg!  That episode was painful.  Jessa has to be rated her ability to cook Ben's fave foods?  She is sooooooo not naturally domestic and it's hard to watch her TRY so hard to fit into the narrow vision of womanhood that these families aspire to.  

 

Why don't the men have to "prove up" their end of the deal.   I don't see Ben building a home to Jessa's liking.  

 

"It was so awesome to see the most beautiful girl in the world standing there with an apron on." - Ben

All I hear is.... "beyotch, go make me a turkey pot pie!" Ala Judd Nelson in Breakfast Club.

SPICE RACK (my new name for Jinger) nailed it: "This is awkwardly."

If she wants an out, why doesn't she just screw up the cooking?

[Ripley68]

I saw a little bit more of a connection with Jessa and Ben this episode, but he totally comes off as a jerky, 18 year old jock.  He so can't handle the life that is being set up for him.  Off to watch the 2nd one.

[all4mom]

Bin seems nice, but dumb as a box of rocks!  Oh, that was painful to watch (Jessa essentially calling him a child, and him not getting it); this is going to be one of those excruciating marriages in which the wife displays her total disdain for the husband who is whipped; not fun to watch although, compared with what we've been watching (including trips to the fertility specialist at age 47), it will be a change...

 

I got the feeling that JB (actually, TLC; they had to wait only a few days to see a famous specialist; really?) set up that appointment to "break it gently" to Michelle that the baby train has left the station, but she seemed to be refuting the doctor's statistics, saying, "Well, I had children at 35, 36, 37, etc. and, look, no Down's Syndrome..."  47 is a bit early for menopause, and I'm not sure those blood tests are accurate, given hormonal fluctuations. 

Edited May 21, 2014 by all4mom

[wanderwoman]

Bin seems nice, but dumb as a box of rocks!  Oh, that was painful to watch (Jessa essentially calling him a child, and him not getting it); this is going to be one of those excruciating marriages in which the wife displays her total disdain for the husband who is whipped; not fun to watch although, compared with what we've been watching (including trips to the fertility specialist at age 47), it will be a change...

 

I got the feeling that JB (actually, TLC; they had to wait only a few days to see a famous specialist; really?) set up that appointment to "break it gently" to Michelle that the baby train has left the station, but she seemed to be refuting the doctor's statistics, saying, "Well, I had children at 35, 36, 37, etc. and, look, no Down's iSyndrome..."  47 is a bit early for menopause, and I'm not sure those blood tests are accurate, given hormonal fluctuations. 

I made a similar post in the Jim Bob and Michelle thread. 

[Absolom]

It isn't only whether Michelle has gone through menopause or not, it's the age of the eggs, too. Hers are very old in the conception game. Viewership: 1.850 M viewers and a .7 rating.

[Ljohnson1987]

Smuggar was his normal asshole self. "How many girls have you courted?" How many failed courtships did you have before you met Anna, tool? 

[LazyToaster]

JB's sperm isn't exactly "young" either. Once you are grandparents wouldn't it be a good idea to realize that life is changing and it might be time to change along with it? A time for everything etc...

[Bella]

I found this on Google. I remember a friend wanting to get pregnant and bemoaning the fact that after age 37, the odds are very low. Then again, on Monday I had dinner with a client who had her last child at age 42. But age 45? Highly unlikely.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_chart-the-effect-of-age-on-fertility_6155.bc

[Teena]

I was spellbound by Michelle using the term "catch a baby".

 

I guess after you've had 21 pregancies, getting preggers MUST feel as easy as catching a cold!

[Marigny]

If she wants an out, why doesn't she just screw up the cooking?

She is enjoying the attention too much to jump ship at this point.

[floridamom]

Why are Morticia Addamms and Lily Munster in the kitchen with Jessa and Jinger? I can just read Jessa's mind about those two...she's praying that her children have her genes. In the meanwhile, poor affection-starved Ben, will remain that way if those two actually marry. Don't think Jim Bob is listening to God's guidance on these two. Age-wise and maturity-wise, he is better suited for little JoyAnna. She's 16, he18? She has the time to court for a few years and get to know him and they can grow up a little together while going on chaperoned dates with her parents. She has the time to wait for him to establish himself professionally.. it's obvious to me, JimBob is dropping the ball on this one. Ben will seem like an older-man-protector to Joy and he will appreciate her looking up to him, after all, he is good looking and keeps in shape, wants to be a husband, etc.,he is settling for Jessa IMO.

[DangerousMinds]

She is enjoying the attention too much to jump ship at this point.

I think Bin is driven by his hormones, not by his stomach at this point, so Jessa could be completely incompetent in the kitchen and it would make zero difference.

[roamyn]

47 is not too old for menopause.

I went from regular to completely stopped at 46. No symptoms anywhere, even now. And my mother had a late menopause at 52-3.

Sorry to say, but Jessa's a mini Kate Gosselin in the making, the way she responds to Ben.

[Sew Sumi]

Not getting why this episode was called "Something New." Mullet's eggs are anything but.

 

I have a feeling she has been missing some cycles off and on for a while and taking pregnancy tests. Boob and TLC may have done this to probe to her once and for all that her baby making days are over. Of course, Mullet's voice over on the preview says that the results will determine her future.

 

Which means that they're probably inconclusive, ie. in perimenopause when she can still theoretically "catch a baby," although with irregular cycles, it really WOULD be "up to God."

[Jenniferbug]

Wow, Michelle and Joy really do not interact like they are mother and daughter. 

 

I think Jennifer was contemplating if the punishment was worth the satisfaction she would get from pushing Josie off the stool as she shrieked "dinner theatre!". 

 

Why are Ben's sisters teaching Jessa to cook his favorite meals? That seems like something a mother-in-law might want to share with a future daughter-in-law. 

 

Holy product placement! Hey Anna, you know what else is healthy and far less likely to break open and leak all over your diaper bag? An applesauce pouch. Crackers. Cheerios. But I didn't see commercials for those products during the break, so I guess we should ignore them. 

 

I think this was the first episode that I've even seen a glimpse of attraction between Jessa and Ben, so that's good. I really hope he starts to get her humor though. I hope they are happy together. I'll be surprised if they're not already engaged. 

[leighroda]

I'm with the rest of you in the confusion of if your leaving it up to God, then why the push for fertility? I think at first it may have been whatever happens happens, but clearly now it is a contest to see how many babies she can have. It's cool if she wants to see this specialist after the complicated pregnancy, I don't know maybe there are residual symptoms or something, however, I'm not sure what the point of the blood work and all that is if they truly are leaving it up to God.

It is also clear when she is talking about it, it sounds like she is trying to convince herself that whatever season of life she is in is fine. Although her quest for having all of the children is annoying, I think I would rather her be honest and allow herself to feel disappointment if her baby catching days really are over, than this act she's putting on that she doesn't care.

Although somewhat unrelated... The previews for the next show are driving me crazy the way they are trying to make it seem like she may be pregnant.

[MMLEsq]

I found this on Google. I remember a friend wanting to get pregnant and bemoaning the fact that after age 37, the odds are very low. Then again, on Monday I had dinner with a client who had her last child at age 42. But age 45? Highly unlikely.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_chart-the-effect-of-age-on-fertility_6155.bc

When I clicked on the link, the graphic wouldn't display, so I'm not quite sure what it showed.  I had a child at 38 (almost 39), waited a bit, then decided to try again and had no luck.  We went to one of the best fertility specialists in So. FL when I was 40 (almost 41) and she said that after age 41, she wouldn't even do in vitro fertlization on any patient unless they agreed to use donor eggs because the chances were so low of it working with your own eggs at that point.  That's not to say that you can't get pregnant on your own in your 40s, or that in vitro wouldn't work, but the odds are really against you.  It's almost a shame that so many more celebrities are having babies in their 40s now (Kelly Preston was, what 48? 49? I cry foul on that happening naturally) because a lot of young women out there might now think it's fine to wait and probably don't realize the extent of the fertility issues that you can face.  It's not just the risk of Downs Syndrome, but the difficulty in getting pregnant in the first place.  So, in a way, it would almost be a good thing for young women to see from this show that you can't always see a specialist, snap your fingers, and get pregnant.  [Okay, stepping off my soapbox now.....] 

Edited May 23, 2014 by MMLEsq

[Bella]

Let me try again with that graphic. 

 

http://www.babycenter.com/i/infertilitygraph.gif

 

The "baby" girl who was born to my client when the latter was 42 is now a student at Dartmouth, but I think they were both very lucky that this a) happened and b) did not result in a problem with the child.

It would be helpful for the show to have a fertility expert explain the way the real world works, but that would be science, and I doubt the Duggards would approve.

[all4mom]

My mother had me at 40 (nearly 41); I was a "surprise"...  Little did I know how lucky I was to be born without Down's Syndrome!  I believe Michelle thinks she has some control over this whole process; hence the health kick (exercise machines, drinking gallons of water, and taking fistsful of vitamins with Jubilee after Josie's gestation "went wrong"...  Clearly that didn't help, and it might even have hurt, as I thought it was a little over-the-top...  Aren't pregnant women supposed to rest and eat for two?).  And now she asks what, if anything, she's doing "wrong" and what she can do "right."  Nothing, Michelle; you're 47!  If you can't listen to God or Mother Nature, listen to your uterus.

Edited May 23, 2014 by all4mom

[MrMattyMatt]

I loved how the Doctor had to correct himself when saying that if nature, err, I mean God, allows you to become pregnant again....

[all4mom]

Didn't he even say "blesses us with a pregnancy"?  Hee!  I do feel for Michelle; she's got a big-time midlife -- if not existential -- crisis comin' at her...

[Absolom]

The 5% odds of pregnancy is really at age 45.  It keeps dropping until it's virtually zero at 50.  As said above it isn't just the irregularity of being peri-menopausal or how many women have reached menopause, it's also old, old eggs.  Then there is the increased risk of miscarriage which is at 50% or so at 45 and keeps rising. 

[Sew Sumi]

I'm sure age of the eggs is factored into the falling percentage of conception into the late 40's and beyond. I was regular as clockwork until 49, when I would have prolonged time between some cycles, until they just stopped altogether about a year later. I was under no delusion that I could become pregnant, even if I wanted to. My SIL had her one and only a month shy of 45 (totally natural pregnancy - oops! baby - my niece is now an over-achieving almost-6th grader).

 

My SIL also had an amnio and would have terminated pregnancy under some circumstances. I think it's pretty clear that Mullet would never have an amnio, but would also never address a special-needs child as it should be. You can't just throw it on the pile as she's done with all her other kids, even to a certain extent, Josie the Miracle Child.

[Ivy26]

Which really REALLY pisses me off.  I had twins, one of which has Russell Silver Syndrome.  We were told constantly we would lose her.  We had the amnio, and it was clear for the biggies.  But we have her enrolled with our state Early Intervention, she's on Long Term Care (has a G-tube, special formula), PT once a week, multiple docs...

 

Josie needs these services.  There is nothing WRONG with these services.  It doesn't say you failed as a parent to participate in these services.  It's not questioning God to have these services.  I personally think they are failing Josie by NOT having her in these services. 

 

Also, if you want to leave it up to God, don't see fertility doctors.  Don't have your menstrual chart on the fridge.  That is hypocrisy to the nth degree. 

[Micks Picks]

I think many celebrities and some professional women have eggs extracted and frozen when they are perhaps 30 or so, in case they decide later on to be pregnant.  That is why I think we see so many of them successfully having so many kids, often twins, when they are well into their 40s.  Amazingly, none have Downe babies.  

[Absolom]

The celebrities also use donor eggs and do not make it known. Yes, I'm sure also that the aging eggs is part of the downward fertility line. I didn't intend to make it seem otherwise.

[Micks Picks]

I have never understood why one would want to harbor donor eggs, or why anyone would want to give them away after birthing them or raise them pretending they are yours.  The whole thing seems against natural law, kind of strange, but probably acceptable most to those who live lives of make believe.  I've known actors who don't know who they are or how to act unless somebody tells them they are a character, and what to portray.  

[DangerousMinds]

I have never understood why one would want to harbor donor eggs, or why anyone would want to give them away after birthing them or raise them pretending they are yours.  The whole thing seems against natural law, kind of strange, but probably acceptable most to those who live lives of make believe.  I've known actors who don't know who they are or how to act unless somebody tells them they are a character, and what to portray.  

I'm not really sure what you're getting at here. I was adopted and know many others who were, and have had a great life. My parents were unable to have children, and thus adopted my brother and me. Others use donor eggs because their own may not be viable for whatever reason, or they may carry the risk of genetic disease in their own DNA that they don't want to pass along. Again, I'm not sure if these issues were even what you were referencing.

[maraleia]

@Micks Picks you are also discounting gay men who want to have a child and use a surrogate and many other couples or single people who choose to have a baby outside of vaginal intercourse. I'm not saying that Michelle should go down this route because she already has way too many kids she doesn't even raise herself but all of these options are available for people and as a 43 year old woman myself (also a lesbian) who hasn't had kids I would like the option to raise a baby.

[Micks Picks]

Dangerous Minds, I have no reservations about adoption.  I'm sorry you thought so.

[Marigny]

 

Why are Ben's sisters teaching Jessa to cook his favorite meals? That seems like something a mother-in-law might want to share with a future daughter-in-law. 

 

Because this family is all about becoming celebrities.

[TigerLily20]

Just saw this rerun today and found out they went to the ski resort that is about 20-30 minutes from my house.  While I am not a huge Dugger fan it would be kind of interesting to see them out and about.

[leighroda]

I keep catching this episode, but in always doing something else, so I rarely actively watch...but I thought the phrasing about how josh and Anna feed the kids for breakfast and packing the diaper bag was odd, so I started wondering if there was a product placement, and sure enough the episode is on right now and I made sure to look up at that part and caught the enfagrow product placement. I must say although it's cheesy, it was kinda genius, that stuff can get expensive.

[Lillybee]

I thought that Mullet setting up the etiquette lesson/dinner was insulting to the two young men.

[SmallTownMom]

I thought the etiquette lesso was strange, too. 

 

If they need to teach manners, maybe they could start with JimBoob.  Because dry-humping your wife in public, on TV, and in front of your young daughter, and her boyfriend is surely a quadruple no-no!

[Ivy26]

Enfagrow?  Correct me if I'm wrong, but my preemies were on Enfagrow.  It's a higher calorie formula.  None of Anna's kids were preemies

[leighroda]

I thought that's what it was, I thought that was the toddler formula brand, I could be wrong, I didn't get a great look, but regardless it was something along those lines.

[Ljohnson1987]

J'Chelle doesn't know what etiquette is, because her kids act like wild animals. *Claps* Great parenting, J'Chelle.  Wait. You stopped parenting them years ago. Guess  you didn't do a very good job. 

[Lillybee]

I think most of the youngest kids especially Jordyn are parenting themselves.

[Absolom]

It was Enfagrow Toddler Next Step formula. There is probably a similar sounding formula for preemies. Maybe Enfamil Preemie or Neosure?