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Farrah

David T. Cole

By David T. Cole
in Teen Mom

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Emkat
Emkat

Why yes Michael.  Farrah often reminds me of Steve Jobs. LMAO.

MargeGunderson
MargeGunderson

When Farrah is finally arrested for going batshit crazy in public, I hope crimes against the English language are included in the charges. 

BlancheDevoreaux
BlancheDevoreaux

I love how she loves to talk about how she and Derek had some true love relationship and has said that they would have gotten married had he not died.  Then, we see her 16 and Pregnant or this video s

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Snarky McSnarky

Snarky McSnarky

"The serial sextrepreneur also revealed her plans for the future… which include pursuing a doctorate degree to become a plastic surgeon."

For starters, Farrah might want to learn that "doctorate degrees" are not the same as "Doctor of Medicine" degrees.  She's like a 5 year old kid:  I wanna be an astronaut...no, a fireman...no, wait, a brain surgeon.

  • Love 8
LIGirl

LIGirl

(edited)
... when I saw http://www.realityte...lastic-surgeon/ and then my brain exploded.

Jesus Christmas, she cannot string together a coherent thought or sentence to save her life!  Some shining examples:

  • “My mindset before was so limited and so small-minded. I have learned from growth of being less judgmental, really expanding, and saying don’t just settle and focus on one thing. There are so many other things you can do, help out in other ways, and reach people wider than Iowa.” --- What??  At least she got the small-minded part correct.  And when was the last time she stayed for any duration of time in Iowa?
  • “I have taken a break after finishing the trilogy that I finished and I don’t know if I will do literary soon.” --- "Do literary"? The fuck?  And I had no idea that she even did a "trilogy."  A trilogy of what, porn movies?
  • “But then there’s other novelty toys that I’m producing, and who knows, there’s other stuff always. Hopefully in five years I can go back to school. I really want to get my doctorate and I want to do plastic surgery. So that’s just something on top of all of the other things I want to do but that would probably be my end goal.” --- I cannot even wrap my mind around this level of delusion.

 

God help us all if she somehow manages to become a plastic surgeon through the dark bowels of some medical school in a third world country.  She would be the type of plastic surgeon responsible for people like the "cat lady", Jocelyn Wildenstein.

Edited by LIGirl
  • Love 8
MyPeopleAreNordic

MyPeopleAreNordic

Jesus Christmas, she cannot string together a coherent thought or sentence to save her life!  Some shining examples:

  • “My mindset before was so limited and so small-minded. I have learned from growth of being less judgmental, really expanding, and saying don’t just settle and focus on one thing. There are so many other things you can do, help out in other ways, and reach people wider than Iowa.” --- What??  At least she got the small-minded part correct.  And when was the last time she stayed for any duration of time in Iowa?
  • “I have taken a break after finishing the trilogy that I finished and I don’t know if I will do literary soon.” --- "Do literary"? The fuck?  And I had no idea that she even did a "trilogy."  A trilogy of what, porn movies?
  • “But then there’s other novelty toys that I’m producing, and who knows, there’s other stuff always. Hopefully in five years I can go back to school. I really want to get my doctorate and I want to do plastic surgery. So that’s just something on top of all of the other things I want to do but that would probably be my end goal.” --- I cannot even wrap my mind around this level of delusion.
 

God help us all if she somehow manages to become a plastic surgeon through the dark bowels of some medical school in a third world country.  She would be the type of plastic surgeon responsible for people like the "cat lady", Jocelyn Wildenstein.

I really just want Farrah to have to take remedial English over & over followed by some basic college writing classes. She obviously has no idea how the English language works. I know people who are not native speakers who speak better English than she does. Will someone in her life please explain to her how the continuous perfect tense works? Can someone also explain that using the passive voice does not make you sound smarter? Michael? Deb? MTV producer? Anyone...?

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this is not a user

this is not a user

I really just want Farrah to have to take remedial English over & over followed by some basic college writing classes. She obviously has no idea how the English language works. I know people who are not native speakers who speak better English than she does. Will someone in her life please explain to her how the continuous perfect tense works? Can someone also explain that using the passive voice does not make you sound smarter? Michael? Deb? MTV producer? Anyone...?

 

In all fairness, who'd want to deal with correcting her? Ugh, can you imagine how miserable it would be to have Farrah as your student? You know there'd be a huge blowout when she gets her first assignment back with a bunch of red marks all over it. 

 

Though  I will say that she did seem to finish her culinary management class well and without issue, and didn't she do some further education beyond that? 

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fliptopbox

fliptopbox

I don't think she pursued any further culinary education, but on an interview she had with a local morning show here she said something about being involved in her own frozen foods line.. So.. who knows what that will be or if it will ever actually happen. Girl just seems to have her fingers in everything.. Eww. That sounded gross. But so is Farrah.

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fliptopbox

fliptopbox

(edited)

Isn't that frozen food line that weird yogurt place that she franchised?

The interview I heard she was saying that she was trying to start up her own frozen food line, like something similar to Lean Cuisine or Stouffers meals. But I could be wrong, since she didn't really elaborate on it. To be honest, I had no idea she even franchised a fro-yo place. I guess her limited culinary background now gives her the knowledge to create her own frozen food line? Kind of like Bethenny Frankel and that SkinnyGirl crap, or even Teresa Giudice with her cookbooks and Fabellini. She's just capitalizing on any "fame" she still has left. Although I wonder that if with all this culinary knowledge she supposedly has does she actually ever cook at home? I bet she makes Michael or Debra do it.Or they live on takeout.

 

Ugh it makes me so irritated when children (even adult children) can't refer to their parents as mom and dad. That sounds degrading to me, and she bosses them around as if they are the hired help, and not her family. But then again we are talking about Farrah, after all.

Edited by fliptopbox
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pakalolo

pakalolo

The only thing that bugs me about Farrah's porn is her insistence on maintaining it was a "leaked sex tape", it is beyond pathetic at this point.

What do you think her and her "boyfriend" talk about when they are alone? What do you think its like in business meetings with her absolute lack of communication and interpersonal skills? What do you think her makeup budget is like? She must use a ton of product every day to achieve that look, I wonder if she will be made up like that in all her teen mom footage. I am actually curious about what its like to be a person that goes paid just to appear at clubs and make molds of their butt holes, I hope we get to see what its really like to be beind the scenes of that kind of stuff, is it really just being paid to party or does it become a boring job?

  • Love 4
crazychicken

crazychicken

http://frocofreshfrozen.com/history/

Maybe it's not a franchise but it kind of felt like that.

I am not sure I can thank you for that link it bought on a headache reading the first paragraph obviously Farrah the multi talented girl that is wrote it herself.

Wow what a bargain for only 200K I too can have a francise of a business that doesn't even exist yet. See you later off to get in contact with Farrah so I too can be an entrepreneur like her before the guaranteed rush of investors take all the good towns. Since I can forsee we are going to be awesome business partners my first tip to her is free, take the dummy print of a website before launching it.

Not sure I will be back since I am going to be too rich to talk to the plebs after joining this totally new business concept.

/end sarcasm

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pakalolo

pakalolo

I am not sure I can thank you for that link it bought on a headache reading the first paragraph obviously Farrah the multi talented girl that is wrote it herself.

I am in tears after reading that page, seriously..."the founder"?? I thought I remembered reading that Froco would also become a disco in the evenings and some sort of learning center for children and their parents in the daytime in addition to the fresh and frozen yogurt based foods, yikes.

  • Love 2
Snarky McSnarky

Snarky McSnarky

(edited)

Though  I will say that she did seem to finish her culinary management class well and without issue, and didn't she do some further education beyond that? 

According to her LinkedIn page, she's studied "Nutrition, Al a Carte, Public Speaking, Law, Marketing, Economics, Law (again), and Estate Planning."  She also lists "Pace University, Bachelors Degree, Accounting and Auditing.  Leading to a doctorate in finance."  Dream on, Farrah. 

She's interested in joining a non-profit board (are you listening, American Cancer Society?) as well as offering "Skills based volunteering, i.e., Pro Bono consulting."

She was a song writer/vocal artist for one year and four months back in 2012 - 2013.

Actually, her LinkedIn page is unintentionally much more entertaining than any entertaining she's tried to do on purpose.  Example, F&S by Farrah, Inc.:  "My public services, brand of my brands, Independent contractor to other companies, development , and shaping the world for top success."  What the Hell does that even mean?  Only Farrah knows.

 

 https://www.linkedin.com/in/farrahabraham

Edited by Bella Roche
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Brooklynista

Brooklynista

While I will admit Farrah is batshit. Yes. But I bet not a single one of the others have a LinkedIn page. Outside of Twitter, they're useless.

Im struggling to decide if I would take wackadoo Farrah who just keeps throwing things at the wall to see what sticks or the useless lump that is Catelynn. Or for that matter Maci who does nothing with herself but chase boyfriends.

  • Love 2
MissMel

MissMel

"The founder felt strongly compelled to include Greek yogurt in to as many of the food products at Froco as possible which are found in certain flavors of frozen yogurt and all the freshly made to go food items. The founder after moving to Texas at the age of 22 right before the creation of Froco was told by her doctor to better her health with plain Greek yogurt. Being the foodie that the founder is, the founder put Greek yogurt in everything – sandwiches, pastas, salads, wraps, sushi, desserts and the founder was happy to taste better enhancement of flavors with the Greek yogurt in all the food options. The founder found the balance of taste, health, and quality and wanted to bring this to everyone’s lifestyle all year round.

The founder Farrah Abraham is recognized nationally for her success in entertainment as well being a wonderful mother to her daughter Sophia who at age 5 has helped every step of the way in creating a lovable, positive, passionate and educational mascot for Froco, “Coba” The popping boba, who you may put on your frozen yogurt and feel a pop of passion and positivity every time you visit Froco.

-The rest is history"

Jesus, please don't fix this. Just pass the vodka.

  • Love 10
bref

bref

 

 

Hello ,

known for being a reality star on MTV's 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom, making history for decreasing teen pregnancy rates and historically being recognized. I currently have released my New York Times best selling memoir "My Teenage Dream Ended" and my first children's book "Passy Perfume".

I look forward to releasing parenting books,Youth adult fiction books, cook books, and fantasy romance books

In my free time I professionally speak to teens, parents, families regarding; teen pregnancy prevention, blessings of raising a child, family relationship struggles, depression, and greiving. As well I continue to expand my literary form, develope projects, grow my portfolio for media arts, and the hospitality feild.

Thank you for your support, I never thought reading and writting could be so interesting, exciting, but I found that passion to share with you and make it knowledgable.

(excuse errors as I tend to be limited on time)

all the best,

Farrah Abraham

 

Heh. That's from her Amazon page, which I ended up on in a search for her, um, "literary efforts". She has two books listed in print and four in the Kindle store. None appear to address parenting, Christian or otherwise, but she's eked two out of her sex tape experience? I dunno, she probably thinks two books make a trilogy. :)

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cheatincheetos

cheatincheetos

Am I losing my mind or wasn't the second one supposed to be about Christian parenting?  (you know, the one released after the "how not to leak a porno" book?) I don't remember hearing if the 2nd and 3rd books were ever released.

She seems to have some things in common with Nathan's enigmatically porn-watching, strict Christian minister mother.

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NikSac

NikSac

Heh. That's from her Amazon page, which I ended up on in a search for her, um, "literary efforts". She has two books listed in print and four in the Kindle store. None appear to address parenting, Christian or otherwise, but she's eked two out of her sex tape experience? I dunno, she probably thinks two books make a trilogy. :)

 

ha.. frightening. Thanks for posting these, I couldn't bring myself to look for fear of the endless ads that would appear on my computer. Two.. Three...eh who's counting on the trilogy? Guess that parenting book didn't quite work out. I'm not sure how reputable this site is but I saw the same basic story a ton of places: http://www.fishwrapper.com/post/2014/01/13/farrah-abraham-book-christian-weird-parenting-sex-porno-gross/

cheatincheetos

cheatincheetos

(edited)

"The founder felt strongly compelled to include Greek yogurt in to as many of the food products at Froco as possible which are found in certain flavors of frozen yogurt and all the freshly made to go food items.

 

Sounds like what some restaurants do-- put a bit of some trend of the month ingredient into entrees and use that as an excuse to double the price. Is she going to include Greek yogurt in her next totally-leaked-not-meant-for-public-consumption sex tape, too?

Edited by cheatincheetos
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MissMel

MissMel

I will never forget when she had to cook something for a class, including taking photos to show that she made it herself.... and she made a pizza.... by using one of those pre-baked Bobboli crusts.

Haha! That was the second pizza incident, I think. Pear and fig pizza maybe? The first one was when she was trying to figure out how the silver crisper worked with the microwaveable frozen pizza. She ended up putting the silver side down and the pizza inside the cardboard. Her mother was right there, too, and didn't say a word. It was very strange to watch!

Wasn't there something involving frozen ravioli and jarred sauce, too? I think it was around the time when she was leaving Sophia unattended on counters/beds/sinks full of water....

  • Love 5
ghoulina

ghoulina

(edited)

You'd think with Farrah trying to branch out into many "literary forms" she could hire an editor to proof read absolutely everything she puts out there - Amazon pages, LinkedIn pages, etc. Damn. She's one of those people that tries SO hard to sound smart. You can tell she really thinks she's intelligent by the way she speaks, but she just sounds like a loon. 

 

 

Also, a children's book called "Passy Perfume"? What in the ever loving fuck is that about? At first glance I'm sure you can imagine what I thought it said....

Edited by ghoulina
  • Love 11
Snarky McSnarky

Snarky McSnarky

Perhaps the website linked below will help clear up the Passy Perfume mystery.  Here's an excerpt from the story, as written by Farrah herself:

 

Farrah was receiving heat from critics who had been watching her parenting and Sophia her ever famous daughter grow up and noticed one uncontrollable bad habit "the pacifier" and so Farrah knew more then anyone the bad affects it was having on her daughter, increasing tantrums, poor teeth structure, and listening issues. Farrah wanted her daughter to understand the bad side affects as much as she did. Farrah then watched Sophia and what she was most fond of, surprisingly Farrah saw Sophia being captivated by perfume bottles and her pacifier. Farrah gathered from these couple weeks it was time to create a story for her to share with Sophia so she would let her pacifier go, the answer the "Passy Perfume book"!

 

Farrah was trying to raise $250,000 on the Indiegogo crowdfunding website to launch an actual perfume, but the campaign ended after she came up a little bit short.  She only needed another $249,900.

 

http://www.passyperfume.com

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LIGirl

LIGirl

http://frocofreshfrozen.com/history/

 

Maybe it's not a franchise but it kind of felt like that.

Could someone please call 911 for me?  After reading that, I believe a massive blood clot lodged itself somewhere in my brain in an attempt to block out the atrocious writing, but unfortunately, the horror was just too great to bear and it burst.  I might be dead.  Thanks.

  • Love 5
ghoulina

ghoulina

She is too stupid to realize that the shortened term for pacifier is "paci"? "Passy" looks way too much like... something else.

 

That was my initial thought, but this is Farrah we're talking about. 

 

Also, after hearing the meaning behind it, it's just a really stupid title. You're not making perfume out of pacis, are you? Because that's what it sounds like. 

  • Love 2
Tatum

Tatum

From the excerpt on the previous page:

 

 

Farrah was receiving heat from critics who had been watching her parenting and Sophia her ever famous daughter grow up and noticed one uncontrollable bad habit "the pacifier" and so Farrah knew more then anyone the bad affects it was having on her daughter...

 

How did this chick get her associates degree? Regardless of what field you study, doesn't every degree require at least one basic English/composition class?

  • Love 4

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