S07.E07: I Want an Equal Partner

[Crazy Bird Lady]

13 hours ago, SuzyLee said:

Man, Amber’s friend is irritating.  I can’t stand it when women meet a friend’s new boyfriend or husband and figuratively pee all around them, marking their territory.  Like, chill the eff out.  You’re adults. You aren’t in the sixth grade.

The woman was clearly the dominant one in her own relationship, and seemed to feel some sort of 'ownership' or 'protector role' over her friend. I think it was a bit like a father or an older brother warning the new spouse that they'd better not hurt their loved one's delicate (and in this case, very insecure) emotions. 

Whatever it was, it kind of backfired. Now Amber is also insecure about the fact that her new hubby obviously doesn't like her best friend!

Edited August 15, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[AussieBabe]

I can't tell if Mia is really attracted to Tristan, or if she's just into him because he was probably the only man who would've continued to rally behind her and her ever mounting lies. Sort of like white knight syndrome where he rescued the damsel in distress, becomes her hero, and she is beholden to him. I can understand his POV and thinking that this is the permissive will of God. Religion and faith are very powerful things. I think he is thinking help me and may want out. Marriage is hard work, but 14 days in and you're looking like you've been to hell and back? I'd imagine that he has cried more in the past few months than a lifetime behind his new wife. Was it last week or week before on Unfiltered where he cried and had to excuse himself from the set? That was heartbreaking because he seems like he was really all in and committed. I was appalled by her incredulity at him not fully trusting her. She's missing that obvious self-awareness. It's like....you do realise you were arrested and continuously lied to your brand new husband of a mere week, right? Trust takes time to build, sweetheart, and when you're still lying and doing deceptive things, it's always going to be nonexistent. And when he said that he's said I love you but I'm not in love with her...mmm,

[GBPackersfan]

I hate watch this show. I dislike all of the couples. Well, no, I take that back. I do really like one of the couples, but the "experts" had nothing to do with this one. I am, of course, talking about Henry and Nellie. What the heck do you have to do to designate yourself as an "expert" in pairing strangers? Given their success rate, I think they are more beginners. I do actually wonder, how much input the experts have. I suspect that TPTB narrow it down to maybe 10 people and then the experts pop in and match them. And I am certain TPTB pick the people with the most drama. I can picture the experts "oh, this one eats pizza with mushrooms! What a perfect match to this one, who likes mushrooms too!" Why do I do this to myself, I spend the time yelling at the TV how awful everyone is. I guess if I had to pick, Amber is my least disliked, but it's a very narrow margin. Bobby and Danielle...there is something weird brewing beneath the surface. I have a feeling that right now, we are only seeing "camera face". Mia, get off my TV. Tristan is a wuss. I am willing to bet Mia is doing everything in her power to get knocked up to keep Tristan however she can. Dave is an aging frat boy. Amber, I appreciate that she goes no makeup, but she is too insecure and desperate. The hair...omg isn't their an "expert" that can adjust their looks before the show starts? Please also do something about those expensive and gross eyebrows of Danielle. They look...not good. 

[calpurnia99]

The horrid voice on Danielle that vocal fry I just cant. But now Amber's annoys me more, when they brought the friend on she has the same exact Kim kardashian phony vocal fry speech pattern,  with the uptalk, OMG!! they got it from each other, it would be so annoying to be around that. Am I the only one bothered by this? Now they are casting people on commericals too with this horrid voice and speech pattern. I guess Im old and cranky now. My 26 year son swears he doesnt know any women his age that talk like this. Maybe just the reality whores.

[MV713]

The only thing that stands out to me is that when Bobby & Danielle were having coffee in their living room on separate chairs I noticed that Danielle's eyebrows were natural.  No dark penciled in crazy brows.  And she looked SO MUCH BETTER... Danielle if you read here, stop with the eyebrows.   They are detracting from your appearance.

[Booger666]

I loved Tristan’s mom!  Too many moms on this show have been crazy or rude.  Tristan’s mom asked great questions, and was polite and funny at the same time.  Plus she is a beautiful woman.  I wonder how old she is.

I’m enjoying Bobby and Danielle more than I thought I would’ve.  Looks like they have a good chance at love.

Amber’s insecurities remind me a bit of Ashley P’s, but Amber’s much more insecure.  I’m surprised the experts picked her because as mentioned above, she needs a lot of validation and that is exhausting in a new relationship.  Dave’s friends were super nice to her.  Just speculating, but I wonder if Amber’s ‘I don’t need more friends’ is because Dave’s friends get together every w-end and it seems like the girls and guys split up whereas she talked about being the 3 musketeers with her married friends.  Amber may feel like she is expected to hang with the wives every Sat while the guys play basketball.

Henry is the cutest!  If they stay in that house they really should put in a doggie door.  If you own a dog it is life changing.  Especially with her super long commute.

[humbleopinion]

Bobby can pop home during lunch and check in on  the dogs since he works in Ft. Worth.

With the pups taken care of Danielle doesn't mind the long commute between the two cities.

 Nellie and Henry are very good with so many production people around during filming, you see them wandering in and out of the shots.....

Danielle's king bed looks comfy...nice linens, comforter...no wonder the dogs like to sleep with them

Happy family.....

[humbleopinion]

Zachia...this is not the basic cable version of the Kardashian show.

We get that you are the one who has picked up Amber every time some guy broke her heart.

Even though you came off as harsh and a ball crusher, Dave is glad Amber has a devoted friend.

Don't we all need a Zachia having our backs...?

Tristan's Zachia is Goober....

Goober, you have to help Tristan get out of his nightmarish marriage to Mia....sounds like a script for a cheesy Lifetime movie....

Edited August 15, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Gem 10]

12 hours ago, SuzyLee said:

Man, Amber’s friend is irritating.  I can’t stand it when women meet a friend’s new boyfriend or husband and figuratively pee all around them, marking their territory.  Like, chill the eff out.  You’re adults. You aren’t in the sixth grade.

That friend just Had to be planted.  Nobody is that rude to their husband on national t.v.  Who would want a friend like that?  She was a horror.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

21 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Zachia...this is not the basic cable version of the Kardashian show.

We get that you are the one who has picked up Amber every time some guy broke her heart.

Even though you came off as harsh and a ball crusher, Dave is glad Amber has a devoted friend.

Don't we all need a Zachia having our backs...?

Maybe she shouldn't be quite that aggressive, but I totally 'get it' that Amber is defensive of the one best friend who has always been there and stood up for her, no matter what.

As for Dave being glad Amber has a devoted friend --is he?  I don't think Zachia will ever fit in with his little 'bros and wifeys' group. 

[Claire Voyant]

Mia wants to move into Tristan's place because it's more nicer?  More nicer???    What a ditz. 

Tristan, pull your head out and take a deep breath.   Mia isn't worth you wasting anymore time trying to figure out what's a lie and what isn't.  She doesn't know the difference between a lie and a truth. 

Amber is a hot mess, but Dave is a simmering one.  She's got self-esteem issues and he has a superiority complex.  She's not religious and, quite frankly, I don't think he is either, but I have a feeling he will be more than happy to use her lack of faith against her.   

Dave not even picking up unrolled toilet paper off the bathroom floor and leaving it there for Amber because it's her cat, says it all for me.  It's not like little Paisley has a house full of toys.  I saw nothing for her to play with.  And it's also not as if she urinated, pooped or puked all over the floor.  It was dry PAPER FGS.   Could have been all picked up in less than a minute.  What a jerk.   I really don't like him for that. 

Bobby's mom didn't look very happy at the dinner.  Gee.  I wonder why.    

I agree with everyone else that Danielle needs to tone down those poor Groucho Marx eyebrows, but in the grand scheme of things she seems to be a pretty decent human being.   I love her for taking care of homeless dogs.  The puppy was so happy to be with her.  She could be a serial killer and I'd probably excuse her because of her love for dogs.  LOL

[aphroditewitch]

2 hours ago, calpurnia99 said:

The horrid voice on Danielle that vocal fry I just cant. But now Amber's annoys me more, when they brought the friend on she has the same exact Kim kardashian phony vocal fry speech pattern,  with the uptalk, OMG!! they got it from each other, it would be so annoying to be around that. Am I the only one bothered by this? Now they are casting people on commericals too with this horrid voice and speech pattern. I guess Im old and cranky now. My 26 year son swears he doesnt know any women his age that talk like this. Maybe just the reality whores.

I think people need to stop policing women's voices, especially when men do the same thing.

[Booger666]

5 minutes ago, Claire Voyant said:

Dave not even picking up unrolled toilet paper off the bathroom floor and leaving it there for Amber because it's her cat, says it all for me.

LOL.  This reminded me that years ago my MiL checked on our cats while we were gone.  The cats knocked over a roll of paper towel and played with it.  She left it for us.  And when we got back made sure to tell us it happened days ago and she left it for us.  It would’ve taken all of 5 seconds to pickup the paper and put it in the trash.  My MiL is an asshole.

[gonecrackers]

Dave & the toilet paper smacked of simmering anger & resentment, & it can't just be the cat. Yes he could've picked it up & it wouldn't have taken long. As noted, they could also get Paisley some toys, a climbing tree, or he could try to interact with her a bit. If he really gave a shit for the long term he'd be watching My Cat from Hell or YouTube videos for tips. 

Can't imagine what he's like sans cameras as it's obvious Amber is jumpy & not feeling unconditionally accepted by him. She may be insecure (although I feel the 'celebrity crush' was blown up a bit for fake drama) but sometimes depending on who we're with they can either exacerbate those insecurities or temper them. It's obvious which way it's going for her & there are probably many reasons. I also think he's still not into his space being invaded - it's still his space & his home. Paisley & Amber may never really feel welcome there (even if it's just for 8 weeks). 

I do not like that Amber, in particular, moved into Dave's place. They very much needed a neutral ground to get to know each other. The balance is off right now & it's not good for her, which is probably in part why she's coming off badly (anxiety & editing).

[Yeah No]

Whoa, super awkward at the couples brunch.  The other couples are skeptical about Mia and Tristan, and with good reason.  They didn't even try to hide it.  Mia thinks Tristan is being too open about their relationship.  Normally I would say yes, but with her, too bad, I'm just sorry he covered for her in not talking more about her arrest, etc.   I don't think Tristan is as dumb as he looks.  At least he says "Mia and I" instead of "Me and Mia".  He is clearly holding way back with her, his mother's seeming acceptance of Mia notwithstanding.  There's more than just a "cloud hovering" like he said.  That "love but not in love" stuff is the clue, plus his unconvinced expressions.  I don't believe Mia's really in love with him.  She is trying desperately to make him feel more guilty about leaving her so her 15 minutes continues and she saves face.  She's banking on him not being able to leave a woman that is in love with him.  She knows what she's doing but that will only work for so long.  Her outright expectation of wanting more from him given what he's already looking past with her is unbelievable.  Scary pathological, even.

Amber, your insecurity is not attractive.  Maybe you should try to "fake it till you make it" instead of wearing it on your sleeve. All that may disappear in time.  She's obsessing about every little thing she can latch on to explain Dave's obvious reticence with her.  She doesn't have to be fast friends with his friends just "acquaintance friends".  She said she didn't need more friends out of insecurity.  Although I think the insecurity may be based in knowing deep down that Dave is just not that into her.  Yes, that's what it looks like.  She's only going to sabotage any chance of his feelings growing by acting so insecure about it.  Give it a freaking chance.  I cringed when she opened up to his friends right away about her insecurity about the blonde/brunette thing, but to their credit they handled it very well.  They seem like nice people.  I don't blame Dave for his reaction to Zacchia.  He pictures his balls in a jar by the door with her.  I'm beginning to wonder if the fact that they don't get their parents together is more because the parents don't relish being on TV.

Speaking of that, Pastor Cal - WTF with saying this is the first time their families can get together since the wedding?  What about the brunch right after the honeymoon?

Also, I don't get why Danielle gets suck flak for her humongous eyebrows when Mia's need their own zip code.  Although they do seem to get bigger and darker with every episode, LOL.

[MV713]

43 minutes ago, aphroditewitch said:

I think people need to stop policing women's voices, especially when men do the same thing.

I don't even know what vocal fry is - I hear that so much it is more annoying to hear the words "vocal fry" than to actually listen to the person speaking.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

3 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Dave & the toilet paper smacked of simmering anger & resentment, & it can't just be the cat. Yes he could've picked it up & it wouldn't have taken long. As noted, they could also get Paisley some toys, a climbing tree, or he could try to interact with her a bit. If he really gave a shit for the long term he'd be watching My Cat from Hell or YouTube videos for tips. 

Can't imagine what he's like sans cameras as it's obvious Amber is jumpy & not feeling unconditionally accepted by him. She may be insecure (although I feel the 'celebrity crush' was blown up a bit for fake drama) but sometimes depending on who we're with they can either exacerbate those insecurities or temper them. It's obvious which way it's going for her & there are probably many reasons. I also think he's still not into his space being invaded - it's still his space & his home. Paisley & Amber may never really feel welcome there (even if it's just for 8 weeks). 

Amber actually said that she hadn't really moved much of her stuff into Dave's place 'yet' because she just didn't feel comfortable invading his space like that. Not good. 

 

3 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I do not like that Amber, in particular, moved into Dave's place. They very much needed a neutral ground to get to know each other. The balance is off right now & it's not good for her, which is probably in part why she's coming off badly (anxiety & editing).

Amber clearly isn't feeling accepted enough by Dave to actually move into his home, even though that's what they 'agreed' to do. I get the feeling Amber is very reluctant to actually move all her stuff over there, and she *does* have reasons to feel that way. Dave could certainly have been more welcoming to her cat and to the few possessions she has moved into his place!  

Yes, a big chunk of the problem is on Amber for wearing her insecurities on her sleeve. I've admired her from the start, for her honesty --but there's a difference between honesty and verbal/emotional diarrhea! However, Dave is far from being as welcoming and supportive and he could/should be!!

[gonecrackers]

11 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Tristan has his exit...opening a business in Houston.

Absolutely - go with it Tristan; no forwarding address.

12 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Dave saw his "bros" getting married off, and wanted to do the same thing. But you're right, he may be one of those people who is better off single.

His friends are probably the nicer bunch, accepting him with all his neurosis & hoping he'll find someone so he stops being the odd man out.

3 hours ago, GBPackersfan said:

I am willing to bet Mia is doing everything in her power to get knocked up to keep Tristan however she can.

Tristan better triple bag it, know what I mean...

[Squirrely]

24 minutes ago, MV713 said:

I don't even know what vocal fry is - I hear that so much it is more annoying to hear the words "vocal fry" than to actually listen to the person speaking.

When I noticed that it had become a thing to trash "vocal fry" a few years ago, I Googled it and even listened to examples. I seemingly am immune to it because I do not understand what it is. I don't hear it. Maybe I do it? If I do, it's not going to change! 

Edited August 15, 2018 by Squirrely
typo

[OnTime]

This season is getting really dull.  The producers are trying to find some drama (Mia at the airport, Jessica Biel, the cat) and now this dating site) but it all starting to sound scripted.

I thought Jamie and Nate (of Nate and Sheila) were going to show up as the tour guides.  Anyone else hear this?

 Something needs to happen to spice up this season.

[Yeah No]

22 minutes ago, Squirrely said:

When I noticed that it had become a thing to trash "vocal fry" a few years ago, I Googled it and even listened to examples. I seemingly am immune to it because I do not understand what it is. I don't hear it. Maybe I do it? If I do, it's not going to change! 

News commentator Jessica Tarlov is the absolute worst example of the de-nasal vocal fry that I've ever heard.  If that doesn't bother you, nothing will.

[2727]

17 hours ago, Marsh said:

I agree, don't ever change your appearance for anyone. Don't change your hair, clothes, etc.

Seriously. Dear men and women of earth: you are not somebody's makeover project! If your SO is embarrassed about your appearance, that's on them. (But, uh, also realize that your grooming choices and outward presentation do affect your potential dating pool.)

Which leads to self respect and confidence, having some. I imagine that anyone getting married at first sight would want to know that their spouse found them attractive, but needing that reassurance over and over is exhausting, Amber. Dave was obviously into her physical appearance when they met, yet her insecurity is starting to turn him off. (Although he's easily turned.)

6 hours ago, Claire Voyant said:

She's not religious and, quite frankly, I don't think he is either, but I have a feeling he will be more than happy to use her lack of faith against her. 

Dave admitted he doesn't regularly attend church but pays lip service to religion. I bet all his bros are Christian and he doesn't hang out with anyone different. His distaste for atheists is right in line with conservative Christian groupthink, and his overall worldview appears to be pretty limited. Same with Bobby, actually.

Edited August 15, 2018 by 2727

[Marsh]

53 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Tristan better triple bag it, know what I mean...

The more condoms you wear together the higher the chance of a break ??.  He either should stop having sex with her altogether (he won't) or he should supply the condoms himself. So she can't poke holes in them...

[gonecrackers]

14 minutes ago, Marsh said:

The more condoms you wear together the higher the chance of a break ??.  He either should stop having sex with her altogether (he won't) or he should supply the condoms himself. So she can't poke holes in them...

Heavy duty bag it then... yes, he should keep them in a very safe place & be very careful.

There's no way she'll give up 'doing the sex' as it's her only real manipulation tool, & of course he'll take it while he can get it.

Edited August 15, 2018 by gonecrackers

[Happyfatchick]

I’ve BEEN Mia before - not the exact same transgressions, but noteworthy.  I know her moves.  The way she hides, the way she covers by saying the truth (there’s 50-leven ways to say technical truth without telling the story - I’m an expert).  She’s not as good as it as I am, but I’m older and I have more insurance (so to speak).  She’ll get better at it, but she ain’t there yet.  She’s going to get busted BIG eventually, and then we’ll see some real tears.  She’s a manipulator-in-training.  Even with Tristan’s mom, she was pulling her MIT moves.  The mom bought it.  I was surprised by that, but odds are at some point near the end, we’re going to hear mom say “she almost had me, but there was just something  I didn’t trust about that girl...”. She’s good (the mom).  She wants to give Tristan the benefit of the doubt so she “says” she thinks Mia came clean... but I think she has reservations.  I wouldn’t have wanted Mom Tristan watching ME when I was being that girl.

Amber needs therapy.  Seriously.  She has the lowest self esteem ever .  She doesn’t need to be babied into believing she has worth, she needs to learn to reach out and grab it.  Not sure Dave is man enough to be her man.  She needs someone (speaking from experience again) who gives her freedom to express herself.  Stand up and SAY it.  I too used to hide behind more powerful women.  The break thru is when you realize you HAVE power.  Other people don’t need to build her up - they need to make her stand up.  I thought it was sweet the pals wives didn’t laugh at her for feeling threatened by Jessica Beil.  I probably would have been fighting to suppress my face-tells.  

Bobby and Danielle seem to be having a good time.  Is it just ME, or has Bobby turned into a man since getting married?  Even at the wedding, he seemed 16, but suddenly, he seems to have grown into some frame of manliness.  He doesn’t seem like such a little boy anymore, he seems more like a young man.  

Also:  I assume these JO unfiltered things are filmed all in one day, post decision day. I don’t hate Jamie O (would prefer her over that Shaun girl who hosts the tell all on 90 day!) but the pooping thing was a little more info than we needed.  I always listen carefully to all their answers, trying to catch them slipping up about whether they stayed together or not.

[calpurnia99]

3 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

I think people need to stop policing women's voices, especially when men do the same thing.

It's fake and phony, it is so grating I can't listen to these women.  These are  not their natural voices or speech patterns. I would not make fun of someone's natural voice. This is a horrid fad and it annoys me to no end. I miss when women spoke in their natural voices.  Hopefully their husbands don't notice it. 

Edited August 15, 2018 by calpurnia99

[humbleopinion]

At the couples tapas night out if you watch Mia watching Tristan talking to Dave you can see the “stalker Mia”  focus and cunning...like she was trying to read lips...what about her arrest was Tristan spilling.

Mia controls the narrative....

[ramble]

I ding both men and women on vocal fry, uptalk, and filler words. I work with college age kids and it can be incredibly annoying. A graduate level man was using all three this week to the point I was mentally counting the “uhs” “likes” and statements ending in verbal question marks. Argghhh! 

I can’t stand Mia but Tristan lost some points with me this week for all the talk about the sex. Is he 12? Has he never done it before? I was waiting for him to giggle and whisper to the other guys that he got to touch boobs. I’m disappointed that Mama Tristan didn’t see through our unfriendly lying liar who lies. I know Mia has some scheme going though I’m not 100% sure what it is. 

Amber exhausts me. She’s all frayed nerves and insecurity. Dave may be contributing to this but I think this is her in her natural state. Her obsession with his celebrity crush was juvenile. Dave told her he was attracted to her. They are having the sex. She either needs to believe him or get therapy to help her overcome her insecurities because that much insecurity is an easy way to drive someone away. Personally I understand being attracted to a certain type. It’s not like I haven’t dated blonde guys, but I’m not initially attracted to them. I’ve dated shorter guys too but if you were to ask my type I’d say dark haired tall guys. It doesn’t mean I couldn’t care for or love a short blonde man. I thought Amber, being older, might know some of this stuff by now. 

Danielle and Bobby are surprisingly seeming almost normal. Although the bar with this show is mighty low. I wonder if they stand a chance. I appreciated their calm unwillingness to discuss the sex at the dinner table. 

[Matty]

Here's a thought, Dave. Close the bathroom door so Paisley doesn't unroll your toilet paper. The four animals are the best thing on the show right now. Henry, Ellie, Paisley and the darling little foster are adorable. When Henry and Ellie were standing together at the door with their tails wagging like crazy I couldn't stand the cuteness.

Mia was so awkward and embarrassing to watch at the couple's dinner. Her phony laugh and constant fake smiling are so annoying. The way she evades the questions about what happened proves how deceptive a person she is. Tristan is out of there. I think he's setting up the moving to Houston story as his exit strategy. Hope so. For his sake.

Edited August 15, 2018 by Matty

[Crazy Bird Lady]

3 hours ago, Claire Voyant said:

Amber is a hot mess, but Dave is a simmering one.  She's got self-esteem issues and he has a superiority complex.  She's not religious and, quite frankly, I don't think he is either, but I have a feeling he will be more than happy to use her lack of faith against her.   

Amber is damaged and has lost her self-esteem. In fact, although I (in theory at least) agree that she shouldn't have to go back to being a brunette just because that would be Dave's preference, I think it's very likely she did that to her hair in an effort to please someone else, in the first place. When she's on the screen, I see an attractive 30-something woman (in spite of the brittle bleached hair) --but she doesn't seem to feel attractive, at all. 

 

3 hours ago, Claire Voyant said:

I agree with everyone else that Danielle needs to tone down those poor Groucho Marx eyebrows, but in the grand scheme of things she seems to be a pretty decent human being.   I love her for taking care of homeless dogs.  The puppy was so happy to be with her.  

I don't care about the eyebrows at all. They're not attractive, but I'm not the one wearing them.

What I do care about is that she and Bobby both seem to be taking this 'marriage' seriously, and I think they have a good chance of making it last. And maybe this means I'm boring, but I like  watching them together. It's a breath of fresh air, to see them cuddling with the dogs after all the ugly drama with the other two couples!

[bichonblitz]

3 hours ago, aphroditewitch said:

I think people need to stop policing women's voices, especially when men do the same thing.

As soon as I hear a man with a vocal fry I will be happy to police him, too. 

[aphroditewitch]

14 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

As soon as I hear a man with a vocal fry I will be happy to police him, too. 

They do it all the time. People rarely call it out. Vin Diesel 's way of speaking is actually vocal fry. But people just ignore that. And perhaps people shouldn't be attacking the way another person speaks and focus more on what the person is saying. It is rather annoying to be told your voice is too high, too low, too soft, and so on. 

[ChiMama]

18 hours ago, SuzyLee said:

Man, Amber’s friend is irritating.

And Amber doesn't NEED new friends . . .  <eyeroll>

[ChiMama]

18 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Oh Amber, yes you are a brunette. Do you think anyone believes in that hair being natural?

LOL. She would look much better with her hair its natural color and soft/flowy vs. bleached to crispiness. Her hair makes her look so harsh. I LOL'd when one of Dave's friends' wives said "You're a brunette, right?" Hilarious. As she prattled on (AGAIN) about being angry/insecure about Dave's Jessical Biel celebrity crush, the women were looking at her like she was an alien life form (as was I). WOW, this is insecurity -- and immaturity -- on steroids! Very annoying and will get old for Dave very soon, spelling doom for this "marriage."

17 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

What’s the problem with Ambers cat, Dave?  Just shut the bathroom door and the cat can’t get in there to unroll the toilet paper, duh.

Good practice for baby/toddler-proofing!

[ChiMama]

17 hours ago, OnTime said:

All these couples are starting to bore me.

TBH, I kept dozing off and having to rewind to watch what I missed during last night's episode. At least, thanks the gods, these are only one-hour episodes, unlike the soul-killing Bachelor in Paradise suckapalooza! So, we've got that going for us -- which is nice. ;)

[Ilovepie]

The only thing interesting about Bobby and Danielle are the dogs. I do not care about her eyebrows in the least - in fact, I probably wouldn't have noticed them if not for all the comments about them. I cannot believe how blase' she was about the 90 minute work commute! In other seasons, that has been a big factor in deciding to find alternative housing. Still, they seem fairly normal and nice and might have a shot at being the fifth couple to survive this show.

Mia is arguably the worst female to ever grace this show - worse than S2 Ashley, worse than Sam.  Tristan is stupid to stay with her.

Amber needs to STFU about her insecurities about Dave. Her friend needs to take it down a notch or twenty. Despite that, I thought Dave was a very gracious host to Zachia and her manservant/husband. And why did Amber vomit out her insecurities to the bro wives the minute she met them if she was not looking to make new friends? Not exactly the thing you would do with people you are trying to keep at an acquaintance level. The look on those two ladies faces was hilarious - the perfect blend of pity and concern. I don't think I could be that good of an actress when confronted with a glamazon like Amber........

[AussieBabe]

The only couple I'm rooting for are Bobby and Danielle. While they are not as drama-filled, I think that's actually a good thing. It's allowed them to have rational discussions and start living as a married couple.

Meanwhile, Amber is extremely insecure and jealous of a celebrity crush. I'm sorry Dave didn't describe the exact vision of you as his ideal mate. We all like what we like, but that doesn't mean he is incapable of being attracted to someone who falls outside of that vision. Amber does realise that people can be attracted to more than looks because looks do fade and aren't forever, right? Maybe she's used to men liking her solely for her physical attributes. I don't know who did it, but someone did a number on her self-esteem. She's an attractive woman. She just can't see it.

[aphroditewitch]

2 hours ago, calpurnia99 said:

It's fake and phony, it is so grating I can't listen to these women.  These are  not their natural voices or speech patterns. I would not make fun of someone's natural voice. This is a horrid fad and it annoys me to no end. I miss when women spoke in their natural voices.  Hopefully their husbands don't notice it. 

Define natural. A way of speaking that a person picks up from those around them or tv and movies is not necessarily unnatural unless it is forced. Many people are completely unaware that they are using vocal fry because it is an unconscious action. 

[Gem 10]

What is vocal fry?

[Crazy Bird Lady]

15 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

 Amber's honesty was raw when she was telling the 2 wives of her insecurities...

They both were slightly taken aback that grown woman was so fragile and insecure  about her looks but rallied with the Halle Berry anecdote.

They sincerely are cheer leading for her...Amber is truly her own worst enemy.....

All the men who hurt Amber should be ashamed that they left her so scarred....

Believable that this is the hardest Dave has tried with a relationship...he is the type with a long string of gfs, none measured up....

It does seem that the "wifeys" group (who hang out together while the "bros" play basketball -or whatever- and talk about 'bro' stuff) were very open to Amber, even though she was a stranger baring her fragile insecurities about her appearance and her doubts whether her own husband is 'really' attracted to her.

That group might be good for Amber, in the long run.

But I can certainly understand how Amber might not be thrilled for the "bros and wifeys" to get together, say, 3 or 4 times a month! To begin with, Amber seems kind of introverted. And as Amber bluntly said to Dave, she has "her own friends" (and one best friend in particular, who would never fit in with the 'wifeys' group).

19 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Dave is worried Zachia will be a bad influence. There's a happy middle ground between being a steamroller or a doormat.

[Yes, I know, Zachia is really "out there," --so dominant over her mate that one might suspect she's a dominatrix! But Amber trusts her, probably because they're long-term BFFs... And I'm sure Zachia has not only had Amber's back, she's undoubtedly helped to pick up the broken pieces of her fragile friend more than once.]

Maybe Amber doesn't want to spend most of her weekends hanging out as part of a "wifeys club".

Edited August 15, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[LuvMyShows]

17 hours ago, Marsh said:

I agree, don't ever change your appearance for anyone.  Don't change your hair, clothes, etc.

But there's a difference between changing your appearance for someone when you don't want to, versus listening to their preferences and taking them into consideration for a possible change.  For example,  when I met my now-husband, I had fairly short hair.  He said he likes slightly longer hair better.  I had no particular attraction to my shorter hair, so I let it grow a bit longer, and I muuuch prefer it that way now.  Likewise, I happen to detest men wearing Birkenstock-like sandals.  He had a pair that he wore but wasn't insanely devoted to, so he got rid of them.

16 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Too bad Bobby Sr.'s now private SM was hate filled...think tiki torches.

He creepily referred to Danielle's hotness....that's not what a FIL comments on...your son's hot wife....ick

I'm not aware of Bobby Sr's SM.  When you say hate-filled, do you mean his own posts are filled with hate (white supremacy, etc.), or people are filling up his SM by hating on him for some reason?

16 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

 All the men who hurt Amber should be ashamed that they left her so scarred....

That is making a lot of assumptions about those relationships that we have no way to know if they are true.  Some people have traits or experiences from childhood that cause them to have the kind of self-doubt and worry we've seen from Amber, and the men in her relationships might have been great.  

[NoWhammies]

I am part of a very close, socially active group of friends, and I'm not super close to my family. I'd rather be with my chosen family (friends) any day. So for me, there's nothing odd about that with Dave. However, I suspect it would be really difficult to be a new bride coming into my tight knit group. We would be lovely, friendly, and kind, but I suspect from the outside looking in we are somewhat of an intimidating bunch. 

[2727]

18 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

As soon as I hear a man with a vocal fry I will be happy to police him, too. 

A compilation audio of men in the media with vocal fry. I had to stop listening to Ira Glass because of his.

Interesting article by the American Speech, Language, and Hearing Association that includes a lot of links and discusses the social, cultural, and physical aspects of vocal fry.

Aaaanyway. I think Danielle and are Bobby both afflicted.

Edited August 16, 2018 by 2727

[DrewPaul2010]

21 hours ago, JAndy said:

Why any of these girls would change their name 2 weeks into meeting a guy is beyond me! 

A sign of commitment and trust...why would they marry with sight unseen in the first place.

[Neurochick]

I don't see Tristan as this poor, little victim.  Honestly, it sounds like sexist shit, the woman as temptress and man can't think straight.  Please.

Amber's so insecure because she doesn't look like who Dave said he's attracted to.  But the thing is people get blinded by looks; I think that's the main issue with Tristan, he's blinded by Mia's looks, he's got the "redbone" of his dreams and doesn't give a shit about anything else.

[LuvMyShows]

9 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

And when he said that he's said I love you but I'm not in love with her...mmm,

 Aside from the falseness of her statement given that she's manipulating him, I don't see anything wrong with loving someone before being in love with them.

1 hour ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

[Yes, I know, Zachia is really "out there," --so dominant over her mate that one might suspect she's a dominatrix! But Amber trusts her, probably because they're long-term BFFs... And I'm sure Zachia has not only had Amber's back, she's undoubtedly helped to pick up the broken pieces of her fragile friend more than once.]

Something just occurred to me while reading this.  Given how dominant Zachia is over Amber, and how Zachia may want to keep things that way, I wonder if some of Amber's problems are actually because of Zachia. 

[LuvMyShows]

2 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I don't see Tristan as this poor, little victim.  Honestly, it sounds like sexist shit, the woman as temptress and man can't think straight.  Please.

But it can go both ways, so I don't think that 'sexist' is a fair slam.  There are ways that men manipulate women, and it's unfortunately often as a verbal abuser, to debase the woman so much that she will be docile and never leave.  With women, it just takes a different form.  Many a crime has been orchestrated by women who have used sex to manipulate men into doing all kinds of things; other women manipulate using sex for the men to buy them things or stay with them.  Are all cases like this?  No, but they do happen, and the male or female predator can easily groom the right prey.

[Neurochick]

5 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

But it can go both ways, so I don't think that 'sexist' is a fair slam.  There are ways that men manipulate women, and it's unfortunately often as a verbal abuser, to debase the woman so much that she will be docile and never leave.  With women, it just takes a different form.  Many a crime has been orchestrated by women who have used sex to manipulate men into doing all kinds of things; other women manipulate using sex for the men to buy them things or stay with them.  Are all cases like this?  No, but they do happen, and the male or female predator can easily groom the right prey.

Well, men can use sex and women can verbally abuse too.

[DrewPaul2010]

21 hours ago, SuzyLee said:

I’m glad Dave has a strong core group of friends, but he certainly does seem to have a high opinion of them (and himself, if I’m completely honest).  The framed pictures lining the walls of the entryway are certainly . . . interesting.  I think there’s a lot we don’t know about his childhood and adult relationship with his family.  Still, Amber is a total bitch for telling him that she “doesn’t need new friends.”  She can’t sit there for an hour and make pleasant conversation with people without being rude or dismissive?  This relationship will not last.  Not a chance in hell.

Dave is definitely throwing himself into this, but I have a sneaking suspicion that he would do best and be happiest as a bachelor.  We’re not all suited for marriage- and that’s okay!

This union reminds me of the movie "A Bride too Far' about a bold military plan that was just too much too soon and too many things went wrong. They show signs of being able to work things out but they continue to crash into differences. I haven't seen any comments so far but Amber's best friend isn't going to be of any help in their marriage if she thinks Dave is a cream puff henpecked husband like hers is. He'll drink water indeed. I would have said right then I was talking to him not you sweetie. Amber is really anxious to start a family but I wonder if she really has any idea the level of sacrifice being a mother is and if she wants one I'm sure she'll want two. Dave's friends are much more supportive...

10 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

I can't tell if Mia is really attracted to Tristan, or if she's just into him because he was probably the only man who would've continued to rally behind her and her ever mounting lies. Sort of like white knight syndrome where he rescued the damsel in distress, becomes her hero, and she is beholden to him. I can understand his POV and thinking that this is the permissive will of God. Religion and faith are very powerful things. I think he is thinking help me and may want out. Marriage is hard work, but 14 days in and you're looking like you've been to hell and back? I'd imagine that he has cried more in the past few months than a lifetime behind his new wife. Was it last week or week before on Unfiltered where he cried and had to excuse himself from the set? That was heartbreaking because he seems like he was really all in and committed. I was appalled by her incredulity at him not fully trusting her. She's missing that obvious self-awareness. It's like....you do realise you were arrested and continuously lied to your brand new husband of a mere week, right? Trust takes time to build, sweetheart, and when you're still lying and doing deceptive things, it's always going to be nonexistent. And when he said that he's said I love you but I'm not in love with her...mmm,

She is either a sweet innocent loving girl who just slipped into an unfortunate act of serendipity or she is a conniving devil. I think I see horns...

[DrewPaul2010]

41 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

 Aside from the falseness of her statement given that she's manipulating him, I don't see anything wrong with loving someone before being in love with them.

Something just occurred to me while reading this.  Given how dominant Zachia is over Amber, and how Zachia may want to keep things that way, I wonder if some of Amber's problems are actually because of Zachia. 

It doesn't appear that Amber is under any delusion that Dave is going to be her subbie and I don't believe she wants him to be. She's already agreed to let Dave run their finances.

6 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Absolutely - go with it Tristan; no forwarding address.

His friends are probably the nicer bunch, accepting him with all his neurosis & hoping he'll find someone so he stops being the odd man out.

Tristan better triple bag it, know what I mean...

Don't go out in the rain without your rubbers...

For anyone with out Closed Caption TV I saw 4 ominous chords struck and one suspenseful chord struck...