S08.E26: Access Issues

[TheRealT]

3 hours ago, FlickerInTheNight said:

I know I'm in the minority on this and I'm ok with it...but I don't really think it's that detrimental for Aubree to know her parents had a rough go of it and don't much like each other.  I also don't think it's bad for her to know her father is useless.  I think she should know these things.  I'm not saying Chelsea should break out the youtube links and start discussing it...but if she finds them...ok.  Chelsea's response at that point should be to explain to her that sometimes adults don't make great choices.  Sometimes adults don't like each other.  Sometimes adults screw up.  Give Aubree a foundation for the understanding that you can love someone WITHOUT needing their validation in return.  Aubree is now old enough to understand her parents are fallible.  She can love her dad, but she's not responsible for his choices.  She can love her dad but she can also say she doesn't agree with how he lives his life and the choices he makes so she can choose NOT to be a part of it.  

My parents didn't get along growing up.  And they were married.  If you think you're keeping anything from them just because you don't discuss it when a kid is in the room, you're so very wrong.  I grew up hoping and praying that they would divorce just so they would shutup.  I grew up with the understanding that adults aren't perfect and sometimes people make shitty decisions.  I also grew up with an aversion to being emotionally manipulated because I was so exposed to it growing up.  

My point is that I've never been a proponent of keeping the truth from kids.  Don't cart it out in front of them, but if they find out...they find out.  Then explain it to them.  In my experience, keeping them in the dark is more for the parent than it is for the kid.  Chelsea does a pretty good job explaining the fact that Adam has issues, she would be able to handle those conversations.  I don't see her being on this show as detrimental.  She seems like a pretty happy go lucky kid despite the fact that her father is a douchebag.  

I don't think the show is bad for Aubree because it will reveal that Adam is fucked up (I'm pretty sure she would know that without the show.). I'm a huge proponent of being honest with kids about the circumstances of their lives/families. What I think is problematic is all the details of Aubree's family issues being public, including stuff that she would not be able to witness in vivid detail if it weren't being filmed and broadcast on TV. It's one thing for a child's mom to tell her that her dad is sick or sometimes makes bad decisions, or whatever developmentally-appropriate way Chelsea came up with to be honest with Aubree about Adam (which I think is good). It's quite another thing for the (9-year-old) child to watch footage of her mom/stepdad/grandpa talking shit about her dad (justifiably, but still), her mom having sex with her dad despite how poorly he treated her, her dad saying he considered her a mistake, etc., etc., etc. Aubree isn't really equipped to fully understand all the details about Adam/his relationship with Chelsea/his relationship with her/his drug use/etc., etc. Families who aren't being filmed for reality TV for their child's entire life can be honest with the child without exposing every sordid detail of their lives/bad decisions to the child before the child can really understand.

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, lezlers said:

I agree, but Chelsea shouldn't be singled out for that.   All of the moms are guilty of this.  And we're guilty of giving it an audience and keeping it going.

Yes, all of the moms are guilty of this. And I don't actually watch the show for that reason (among others).

[CaliforniaLove]

I compare the entertainment value of Chelsea's scenes to a show like "Newlyweds". I loved that show when it was on, but when I think back to it, it's like "what was actually all that entertaining about it?!". I mean sure, Jessica would say dumb things & it would be all the rage the next day, but there really wasn't anything overly dramatic or super entertaining about it. What made it interesting for me though, is because I knew who Jessica & Nick were, so it was kind of cool to get a glimpse into a part of their lives, their travels, their home, etc. Chelsea started out on this show in which the format was following the struggles of these Teen Moms, and for the first few years it actually was interesting in that respect. Now that it has gone on as long as it has, it has changed in to a shit show about the other girls, while for me, Chelsea has turned into "Newlyweds 2.0". If Chelsea had never been on a show before, or wasn't "known" & MTV started airing scenes of her, I'd be like "wtf?" & bored to tears, but since I have "known" who Chelsea is for so long, the goofy, somewhat mundane scenes are still interesting for me. 

[Mkay]

6 hours ago, FlickerInTheNight said:

 

My parents didn't get along growing up.  And they were married.  If you think you're keeping anything from them just because you don't discuss it when a kid is in the room, you're so very wrong.  I grew up hoping and praying that they would divorce just so they would shutup.  I grew up with the understanding that adults aren't perfect and sometimes people make shitty decisions.  

My point is that I've never been a proponent of keeping the truth from kids.  Don't cart it out in front of them, but if they find out...they find out.  

Sounds like my childhood.  I knew it wasn’t normal and they didn’t divorce until after I moved out at 18.  I’d like to think I’m normal.  Ha I don’t hate them for it.  I learned from it. 

[FlickerInTheNight]

3 hours ago, TheRealT said:

I don't think the show is bad for Aubree because it will reveal that Adam is fucked up (I'm pretty sure she would know that without the show.). I'm a huge proponent of being honest with kids about the circumstances of their lives/families. What I think is problematic is all the details of Aubree's family issues being public, including stuff that she would not be able to witness in vivid detail if it weren't being filmed and broadcast on TV. It's one thing for a child's mom to tell her that her dad is sick or sometimes makes bad decisions, or whatever developmentally-appropriate way Chelsea came up with to be honest with Aubree about Adam (which I think is good). It's quite another thing for the (9-year-old) child to watch footage of her mom/stepdad/grandpa talking shit about her dad (justifiably, but still), her mom having sex with her dad despite how poorly he treated her, her dad saying he considered her a mistake, etc., etc., etc. Aubree isn't really equipped to fully understand all the details about Adam/his relationship with Chelsea/his relationship with her/his drug use/etc., etc. Families who aren't being filmed for reality TV for their child's entire life can be honest with the child without exposing every sordid detail of their lives/bad decisions to the child before the child can really understand.

People aren't perfect and Aubree should understand that.  I think this isn't giving Aubree much credit in saying that she can't really understand it.  If you find the right language, she can understand it.  If you explain to her that people make shitty choices and say shitty things then when she sees it she'll understand . Why shouldn't she see her grandparents saying bad things about her dad?  It's the truth.  Let her know she absolutely has the right to ask them to stop as well as to let them know it's not ok.  Why should they get out of having to answer for it?

As for seeing her mother consistently going back for Adam despite his treatment of her, that is a FANTASTIC way for Chelsea to introduce Aubree to the idea of "This is why we don't spread our legs for any boy who sweet talks us into bed".  As well as "This is why we go and get ourselves an education and a life of our own before some idiot 16 year old boy thinks they can walk up and derail you from your plans."  And then finish it out with "This is how we value ourselves and don't allow someone to treat us this way.  Because I did.  And it took me a decade to get it right.  Learn from my mistake."

And I think Aubree should definitely see her father calling her a mistake.  Because Adam should have to answer for that.  He should have to look her dead in the eyes and figure out how to explain it.  God knows no one else has ever made that dumbass answer for anything in his life...please, let it be Aubree who finally does.

Aubree isn't ever going to escape the pain of her father being a jackass or her family being less than perfect.  If you ask me, sweeping it under the rug and hoping the kid doesn't find out never did anyone any favors.  

Kids should be given the tools and the power to be able to discuss these kinds of things if that's what their lives entail.  Aubree is an exceptionally bright kid who would probably get it without too much of a discussion surrounding it.  I don't know why everyone feels like she should be shielded.  I grew up knowing full well my aunts and uncles were drug addicted morons...my parents didn't hide it from me.  So I grew up never going near drugs, not even pot.  I've never taken anything.  I watched them destroy themselves and their children for their next fix and only now are they getting their shit together.  Me and my brother both said no thanks...and we've never gone anywhere near it.  There is something to be said for letting kids know shitty things happen....that's all I'm saying.

[DangerousMinds]

16 hours ago, CaliforniaLove said:

I compare the entertainment value of Chelsea's scenes to a show like "Newlyweds". I loved that show when it was on, but when I think back to it, it's like "what was actually all that entertaining about it?!". I mean sure, Jessica would say dumb things & it would be all the rage the next day, but there really wasn't anything overly dramatic or super entertaining about it. What made it interesting for me though, is because I knew who Jessica & Nick were, so it was kind of cool to get a glimpse into a part of their lives, their travels, their home, etc. Chelsea started out on this show in which the format was following the struggles of these Teen Moms, and for the first few years it actually was interesting in that respect. Now that it has gone on as long as it has, it has changed in to a shit show about the other girls, while for me, Chelsea has turned into "Newlyweds 2.0". If Chelsea had never been on a show before, or wasn't "known" & MTV started airing scenes of her, I'd be like "wtf?" & bored to tears, but since I have "known" who Chelsea is for so long, the goofy, somewhat mundane scenes are still interesting for me. 

Jessica and Nick weren't exploiting a young child on Newlyweds. 

[GleamingMist]

15 hours ago, FlickerInTheNight said:

People aren't perfect and Aubree should understand that.  I think this isn't giving Aubree much credit in saying that she can't really understand it.  If you find the right language, she can understand it.  If you explain to her that people make shitty choices and say shitty things then when she sees it she'll understand . Why shouldn't she see her grandparents saying bad things about her dad?  It's the truth.  Let her know she absolutely has the right to ask them to stop as well as to let them know it's not ok.  Why should they get out of having to answer for it?

As for seeing her mother consistently going back for Adam despite his treatment of her, that is a FANTASTIC way for Chelsea to introduce Aubree to the idea of "This is why we don't spread our legs for any boy who sweet talks us into bed".  As well as "This is why we go and get ourselves an education and a life of our own before some idiot 16 year old boy thinks they can walk up and derail you from your plans."  And then finish it out with "This is how we value ourselves and don't allow someone to treat us this way.  Because I did.  And it took me a decade to get it right.  Learn from my mistake."

And I think Aubree should definitely see her father calling her a mistake.  Because Adam should have to answer for that.  He should have to look her dead in the eyes and figure out how to explain it.  God knows no one else has ever made that dumbass answer for anything in his life...please, let it be Aubree who finally does.

Aubree isn't ever going to escape the pain of her father being a jackass or her family being less than perfect.  If you ask me, sweeping it under the rug and hoping the kid doesn't find out never did anyone any favors.  

Kids should be given the tools and the power to be able to discuss these kinds of things if that's what their lives entail.  Aubree is an exceptionally bright kid who would probably get it without too much of a discussion surrounding it.  I don't know why everyone feels like she should be shielded.  I grew up knowing full well my aunts and uncles were drug addicted morons...my parents didn't hide it from me.  So I grew up never going near drugs, not even pot.  I've never taken anything.  I watched them destroy themselves and their children for their next fix and only now are they getting their shit together.  Me and my brother both said no thanks...and we've never gone anywhere near it.  There is something to be said for letting kids know shitty things happen....that's all I'm saying.

Your post deserves a standing ovation.

[ghoulina]

On 6/29/2018 at 11:13 AM, Mkay said:

Could it have possibly been the crew calling for a welfare check because Jenelle was locked in her room with David and they saw the hole in the door? Just a thought. They were there to film, and J&E probably his in their room for hours. 

I like this theory better than all others. I wonder why the cop didn't just ask to see Jenelle, but he did leave fairly quickly after he spoke to her. 

[FairyDusted]

I'm sitting with you @ghoulina. The whole thing was weird. The producer was practically begging Janelle to just answer the door! It would have made more sense since  she is the parent of most of the children that could be in her home.

I can't believe those DumbFucks are just going to sit there as their home literally gets swallowed down whole by The Land. It's only a matter of time before it becomes a health or safety issue.

Edited July 1, 2018 by FairyDusted
left out a word

[jacksgirl]

Late to the party. Read all 5 pages. Just wanted to add what lazy f***s  Janelle and Lurch are. Neither work outside the home and Kaiser and Endtable are at day care fairly early in the a.m.? I get parents may have appointments, committments, etc. but come on. And the MTV crew was there while Lurch was still in bed and Janelle ran the kids off the land to day care? I'm sure day care is at least 15 min away, the land is fairly isolated. None of this makes sense. Oh, and bye David you worthless POS. Won't miss you at all.

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 6/28/2018 at 3:24 PM, Maharincess said:

I am. I would much rather watch a happy family living their lives than to watch the likes of Jenelle or Karl.  Child abuse doesn't entertain me and I know I'll never have to see it with Chelsea. 

I know about the allegations against David; are you saying there are also allegations against Kail or the three guys she has kids with?

 

On 6/29/2018 at 8:01 PM, FlickerInTheNight said:

Aubree is an exceptionally bright kid

I'll admit that I barely watch Chelsea's segments, but I haven't seen anything that indicates that Aubree is exceptionally bright.  Did I miss it?  She doesn't seem exceptionally stupid or anything, but not exceptionally bright, either. 

[TheRealT]

17 minutes ago, jacksgirl said:

Late to the party. Read all 5 pages. Just wanted to add what lazy f***s  Janelle and Lurch are. Neither work outside the home and Kaiser and Endtable are at day care fairly early in the a.m.? I get parents may have appointments, committments, etc. but come on. And the MTV crew was there while Lurch was still in bed and Janelle ran the kids off the land to day care? I'm sure day care is at least 15 min away, the land is fairly isolated. None of this makes sense. Oh, and bye David you worthless POS. Won't miss you at all.

What do they even pretend to do all day? Do they have some kind of lame company like Cate and Ty/Maci and her husband/probably others? As far as I know, they don't. I think even Amber has some kind of half-assed fake company. What was the MTV crew going to film them doing if the cops hadn't shown up? It seemed like Jenelle and/or UBT had taken the kids to school/daycare and let the crew in, then come home, where UBT either took a shower after dropping the kids off or was just waking up while Jenelle was in the bedroom doing... something while the crew just hung out in the living room. WTF? Was the crew going to just hang out there for hours until the kids came home? Were they supposed to film Jenelle and UBT without the kids? What would they have been doing?

I honestly can't imagine, nor can I imagine how awkward it would be to hang out in their living room for hours(?) listening to them fighting, getting high, sleeping, whatever through their bedroom door. If they are scheduled to film at 9A (for example), shouldn't there be some kind of general plan for what they'll be filming (e.g., getting kids ready for school, Jenelle and UBT talking about Barb, J and UBT laying sod, whatever)? If they show up to do that and J and UBT are holed up in the bedroom, do they just hang out waiting for them to come out? I guess maybe they're grateful if they let them in rather than making them wait in the yard.

[CaliforniaLove]

20 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I know about the allegations against David; are you saying there are also allegations against Kail or the three guys she has kids with?

 

I'll admit that I barely watch Chelsea's segments, but I haven't seen anything that indicates that Aubree is exceptionally bright.  Did I miss it?  She doesn't seem exceptionally stupid or anything, but not exceptionally bright, either. 

Where was there anything implied about allegations?

[Maharincess]

34 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Where was there anything implied about allegations?

A lot of people seem to think that beating a child is the only way to abuse them.  Unfortunately there are many, many ways to abuse and harm a child and I see a lot of that with all of them, except Chelsea. 

[EmeraldGirl]

I don’t understand the baby in daycare at all. Kaiser is bored and neglected. I had one child go at 3 - 3 days a week. The other was 4. But I was a hands-on SAHM. It’s good for Kaiser to be with other kids during the day. But a one year old? Lazy creeps. 

[FairyDusted]

Usually I would agree but in the case of Janelle and David it is in the best thing to have those kids in full time year round daycare. They are safer there than depending on someone to stumble out of a locked bedroom to actually take care of the children. Hell I'll even donate to keep in there.

[ccphilly]

On 6/26/2018 at 8:15 AM, ghoulina said:

But I'm not sure why a girl who let's dudes spit in her asshole thinks she deserves some elaborate proposal with flowers and a mariachi band. 

I'm late to the party but...this is fabulous  

[ghoulina]

20 hours ago, Maharincess said:

A lot of people seem to think that beating a child is the only way to abuse them.  Unfortunately there are many, many ways to abuse and harm a child and I see a lot of that with all of them, except Chelsea. 

Amen. There's verbal abuse, psychological abuse, manipulation, withholding affection. I could go on and on. Kail does a lot of fucked up shit as a parent. Thankfully her boys seem somehow immune, or the positive effects of Javi and Jo have sufficiently balanced out her BS. 

[ReadMeLattice]

On 6/26/2018 at 8:41 PM, snarts said:

Rent in Florida is hella expensive. There are super nice apartments with tons of amenities or shitholes, not a lot in between. Which is why I'm surprised they continue to rent. The teen mom money should give them a healthy down payment on a home, and home prices in Orlando are affordable. 

I don't think Chelsea was freaking out. She was anxious about being late to drop aubree and her appointment and was mildly annoyed that Cole was being so lackadaisical about it. That said, she got over and carried on. I think they compliment/balance each other well. 

Yeah, rent is really pricey there because a lot of folks move in for a month or two for extended vacations or seasonal work, so there's a high turnover rate and demand is high.

[smores]

I grew up with parents who were divorced and with a lot of chaos and then had a stepparent like Cole, who is a father.  My biological father was never an addict, but wasn't a stellar parent, so there was often issues and tension going on when I was a kid, and I can see Chelsea being pretty careful with what she shows and says on the show.  There were things that I grew up with that I think should definitely be avoided, but, not to go all "well, when I was growing up, we didn't have to bother with helmets and knee pads when we rode a bike", I think there are times that people really swing too far into over protection with kids. 

It's easy to forget that Aubree actually sees stuff that we don't.  Not so much Chelsea or anyone in her family talking, but what goes on when she's at her grandparents for her visitation?  Just that situation alone, I'm sure Aubree has some friends who have divorced parents.  I know growing up that I had friends who also went to visit their father on the weekend, some saw them 1 day a weekend, others spent the whole weekend at their house.  So, if you're Aubree, don't you start to wonder why your friend sees their dad, but you go to visit grandma and grandpa?  Why is it that dad only shows up once every 6 months and when he does, he isn't interested in you, or just kind of sleeps on the couch?  And, why do you now have to go to this weird place to visit him, rather than going to grandma's, like you always have?  Plus, she's obviously being told some weird stuff by Adam's family.

The other thing is, I have no idea how big of an area they live in.  Growing up, I lived in a pretty small town where my parents knew all of the police, either had gone to school with or had all of the middle school and high school teachers, and I couldn't go anywhere riding my bike without someone mentioning it to my parent a few days later.  If they are in a town like that, Adam's antics would be pretty well known, and it would end up getting back to Aubree whether the show existed or not.   

[Phoebe70]

I was cleaning while watching this episode, so perhaps I misunderstood, but did I hear Brittany say that she was going vegan while she was drinking what appeared to be a milk-laden frappachino?  SMH

[zenme]

She just said she was looking at vegan videos because she was thinking about it.

[Thorkim]

On 6/26/2018 at 7:23 AM, DudeLeaveMeAlone said:

So much "axing" in this episode and yet I didn't see one at all.

Briana and Roxanne, please see a speech therapist. 

You'd think a serial killer was running loose with an axe.

[SheTalksShit]

On 6/27/2018 at 3:16 PM, ghoulina said:

Did you get a look at his desk? Tchotchkes everywhere! He even had some lame placard that stated, "I'm kind of a big deal around here". Not a professional at all, IMO. 

 

Brianna loves the cameras just as much, if not more than, Javi. This is a girl who basically got her ass pregnant again to get back on the show, then concocated a whole fake "adoption" storyline. I don't think she was into Javi from jump, and would probably PREFER if he'd end things. She began dating him to get a rise out of Kail and add to her storyline. She's that petty. 

I tend to think proposals these days have gotten too dramatic. But even so, Briana is the last person who's deserving of a well-planned, grand, romantic gesture. She's got way too much baggage and not enough class. She should count herself lucky ANY dude wants to put a ring on it (even if it is rushed and for the wrong reasons). 

I think they can only enter if they see/hear something that leads them to believe an emergency is happening right then. I.E. A child screaming, Jenelle has blood on her, etc. Other than that, they do need a warrant. Now, like I've said earlier in the thread - welfare checks are typically done when someone's friend or loved one has kind of been MIA. Grandma Beavers hasn't called in two days and she always calls at 5 pm every day. So the cops go 'round and knock on the door. Now, if a door is open or something, I believe they can go in and look around. If they see Grandma Beavers laying prone on the floor, they can bust it down. But if there aren't any obvious alarm bells - no, I do not think they can force entry. They would need a warrant. 

 

Right. But this wasn't that type of call. A DV call means a neighbor, friend, the victim themselves - someone WITNESSED abuse of some type and called the cops. That's not what a welfare check is. It means someone (Nathan or his mom, most likely) said, "I'm worried about my kid, can you check and make sure nothing's going on?" It's not an actual report that something happened. So they can't just bust in unless they see something, while there, that gives them probable cause. 

First off, Briana had no way of even knowing MTV would even give her a second chance, bc TM3 had already been cancelled long ago and before her, no girl had ever been added to TM2 as a main cast member. It had always been 4 girls. It’s not like it’s uncommon for teen mothers to then go on to have other kids young and out of wedlock. As we see on the show, it’s quite common. I think MTV got sick of these girls’s diva behavior, kept up with Briana’s story on social media and decided the cast needs a shake up and decided to bring her in. 

I think Briana likes the cameras for the opportunity it provides her, let’s be honest, she wasn’t going anywhere before this, it will probably be the most money she ever has the opportunity to make in her life. 

But I disagree that she likes the cameras as much as Javi does. When the producers told Briana and Javi that Kail had called the place and didn’t want to have Lincoln filmed there, I watched her reaction vs. Javi’s reaction. She was like, “Ok, we’ll just film it without the cameras then,” whereas Javi kept lamenting how lame and stupid this was and asking why he didn’t get a say in it. 

I also think Briana is more hurt by this whole breakup with Javi than Javi is about it. When asked about it, Javi’s answers are cold and very blasé, like he completely doesn’t give a shit. Briana’s seem more hurt, like she feels slighted. 

I think Javi sorta used Briana to get back at Kail, tbh. Briana and Kail had no issues before she dated Javi, so Briana had no reason to be petty with Kail or wanna piss her off. 

The fact that Briana has a lot of baggage and no class doesn’t make her a shitty person. You don’t feel she should have any self-respect and just settle for any man? 

I like Briana and I’ll tell you why. Her storyline sorta touches on a different cultural world of teen pregnancy that the show hasn’t previously covered much. Before Briana, notice that of all 8 of the Teen Mom girls are white. Most are poor and white (not poor now, but they were before the MTV money), a couple were middle and upper class white girls, but before Briana, all were white. Briana is the only one that is not, even though teen pregnancy is more prevalent in the Hispanic community. It’s also more prevalent in the black community but so far, the show hasn’t featured any black girls. If you truly wanna reach teens, you gotta put out ppl from a cultural world they can relate to. So I think adding Briana was a good decision, I like it. 

[ghoulina]

Of course Briana couldn't know 100% they'd ask her back. But I won't ever believe that the timing wasn't coincidental. And she definitely brought the most drama on TM3. So she's got her family and a new baby angle? Yea....I do think it was intentional, even if not guaranteed. Nova was 5 when she had Stella. So it's not like the typical case of young moms having baby after baby. 

Briana probably didn't care about MTV not filming Lincoln's party, because she knew she'd get her OWN segments with her OWN life anyhow. Javi depends on his relationships to these girls and filming with the kids. Briana doesn't need segments with Javi and co. They're a fringe benefit, but she's got her own shit locked down. 

I think Javi looked more blase about the breakup because he does that typical asshole thing guys do to cover up their pain. But if you watch them when they were together, he was way more interested in her than she was in him. 

I do think Javi used Bri to poke at Kail. 100% But I think Briana did too. She's catty and messy. She loves to play games. 

I feel everyone should have self respect, but Briana clearly doesn't. This is the girl who posts about having dudes spit in her asshole. "Settling" for a nice guy might be better for her than letting random club rats knock her up. 

[zenme]

I feel like Javi is the best Brianna's ever gonna get.

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 7/5/2018 at 9:44 AM, SheTalksShit said:

If you truly wanna reach teens, you gotta put out ppl from a cultural world they can relate to. So I think adding Briana was a good decision, I like it. 

I think the fewer people who relate to Briana the better, regardless of their ethnicity. 

[zenme]

25 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I think the fewer people who relate to Briana the better, regardless of their ethnicity. 

I'm Hispanic and I don't relate to Brianna or her family. I don't think I relate to Javi either. Despite the fact that my husband was a soldier and were a military for more than half our lives, I can't say our experience resembles Javi's career either. These are an odd bunch!

[guilfoyleatpp]

I think the people who relate to her most are known as "dumdums."  They are over-represented on reality tv as far as I'm concerned.