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S08.E26: Access Issues


druzy
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10 hours ago, FlowerofCarnage said:

David is laid back but how many times has he threatened to beat someone's ass or fill the streets with uppercuts? Lol

And don't you DARE question his parenting skills - which include: pushing you from a moving vehicle while you're still in the womb, calling you a "little bitch" if you ever get scared of anything, and refusing to let you got potty when you need to. 

 

8 hours ago, druzy said:

By the way, if someone told me the Sheriff was knocking on my door I would think the absolute worst, like something awful happened to a loved one.

Jenelle was so unfazed. It was like any other day 'round the swamp. 

 

7 hours ago, Blissfool said:

Today's gem, "I'm gonna violate Nathan's face with my fist." Lol

I'd like to see him try. I got nothing for Nathan, but homeboy would END David. And David knows it.

 

7 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

Mama DeJesus screaching about the inadequate size of Javi’s penis in the food court...in front of her grandchild and many others children while Brianna begs her to stop using every tactic she can muster up in her little brain. 

The sad thing is - I bet she didn't pull that comment out of nowhere. Briana probably dished about it after she first did the deed with Javi. 

 

2 hours ago, IDreamofJoaquin said:

I also don't understand the garbly language the sheriff was speaking in.  Were they trying to disguise his voice?  Or was the guy just really off?

They were definitely blurring the sheriff and disguising his voice. 

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It may just be me but I’d be PISSED if my dad came to me and said “Mr. Calm axed for my blessing for marriage!” Because that takes away from the beautiful surprise!!!!!!

I hate Brianna with a passion but I sided with her for a split second when she said “wasn’t that suppose to be a surprise?” And roxeanne saying “No!” And “You need to be ready!!” Hellllllllllllooooooo Roxeanne, THIS is the one time you tell your daughter to be ready????? Why not have this discussion two times before “you need to be READY with birth control when that dick gets too close!!” That could’ve prevented some of your daughters “baggage.”

 

Btw, my husband gave me the most romantic SURPRISE proposal ever and I think it would have been LESS special if my dad had warned me that he was proposing.

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18 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

Or Doris. Or Barb. Or a daycare worker. Or the UPS delivery guy. The possibilities are endless. 

Yup. But I do love that Janelle was pretty much like “it’s just something that happens on a day that ends with Y” like.. what? Okay. And producers being like “that’s awful” and nodding. I get that they can’t upset the talent but seriously.

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(edited)

Jace’s comment about David and Jenelle look like he said it on the land. I was 100% sure of it last night and Now I’m 1000%  positive it’s Jenelle grilling him about Barb. 

Edited by Mkay
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MOMENTS:

  • Brianas mom telling her Javi was going to propose. Briana's face when she realizes she’s in too deep in her storyline. Briana's utter disappointment when Javi tells her he’s NOT deploying?!
  • Chelsea telling Aubree about her pregnancy THAT early. Chelsea showing 8 year old Aubree a pregnancy test, what the actual f*ck??!  Chelsea telling Cole to drive faster in those hazardous snowy conditions made me anxious.
  • Jenelle seems to almost enjoy the drama and David's anger outbursts. 
  • I wonder if Kail and Jo will ever get back together or hook up again, not sure their friendly huggy vibes are just that. 
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13 hours ago, TeeMo said:

You can’t freaking win with the Orlando Coven. You’re either a deadbeat who disappears and shirks your responsibilities or a desperate lunatic who moves too fast. While I agree that Javi was moving at some sort of warp speed, Roxanne’s reaction in that restaurant was bananas. Even Brianna was all the way over her hysertics and seemed to be slyly saying “I know you are acting like this for the cameras.” And all of these fools can take a seat with their dramatic “why is he in such a rush???” exclamations when Briana got knocked up in the parking lot of the club by some dude she met that night. 

 

12 hours ago, Emmierose said:

I don’t like Brianna in any way but when she called Roxanne out for being a crazy whacko in the restaurant, I applauded her!  Seriously Roxanne, just what in the holy FUCK are you CRYING about? Because Javi was proposing and NOT getting deployed? Wait, what?  Woman, you are unhinged. Wipe off your crazy drawn on clown brows, pour some herbal tea and fucking RELAX already.  

This, a thousand times. We got to see up close and personal what we've long suspected--Roxanne will do anything she can to sabotage her daughters' lives. God forbid that either of them get married and leave her. No matter what any guy does, its wrong. And I laughed when Briana said "oh, and here come the tears" before Roxanne's oh so dramatic Donning of the Cape, followed by the Epic Flounce. Made even more hilarious since it appears she had to wait for Bri in the parking lot to get a ride home. Tip, Rox: if you are going to epically flounce out of a restaurant, call an Uber.

Jenelle, David, and a crapton of pills. "Just chillin" indeed.

I did love the drone shot of The Land. All mud, no sod/grass to be seen. No fence around the pool.

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12 hours ago, druzy said:

By the way, if someone told me the Sheriff was knocking on my door I would think the absolute worst, like something awful happened to a loved one.

I thought the same thing.   It happened to me a few years ago, and I still can't answer an unexpected knock at the door without panicking.  Those fools don't realize how fortunate they are.

Did anyone else notice that when Jenelle was talking to her so-called friend Jamie she had a gage in one ear and no earring in the other?  I hadn't noticed her wearing a gage before.  I thought Barb looked pretty when she was being interviewed.

I liked how Chelsea's family handled the pressure of being rushed.  They were stressed, but they didn't freak out.  I shudder to think what would UBT would have done if one of his stepkids forgot their bookbag. 

I thought Leah looked nice in this episode.  Those puppies were so cute.  I hope they all ended up in good homes.  Addie looked so sad when they were giving the puppy to its new owners, and I thought it was so sweet when Ali kissed her cheek. 

I also couldn't figure out Roxanne's blanket/poncho thing.  Does it get that cold in Florida?  Could she have the chills due to her Lupus?  I didn't get her whole argument about Javi.  Was she disappointed that he wasn't being deployed and wouldn't be getting hazardous duty pay that she had hoped would be trickling over to the coven?  I need to rewatch with captions turned on.

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(edited)
12 hours ago, druzy said:

By the way, if someone told me the Sheriff was knocking on my door I would think the absolute worst, like something awful happened to a loved one.

omg *exactly*!  And did anyone notice the hole in their door that was obviously from David punching it?

And again with kids in full-time daycare while the parents are home?  (in this case, Ensley & Kaiser are better off, as is Maryssa, who is probably toiling away in a factory somewhere....why do I see her in 40s garb with a rag tied in her hair?)

Edited by teapot
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15 hours ago, A-Lo said:

Brianna gets FREE plastic surgery because she's a Teen Mom and all she's worried about is a tummy tuck?  What about that unnatural elephantine ass she's carting around?  That could use a tuck or two!

"Dr. Miami" did her butt a few years ago...pretty gross huh?

1 hour ago, Abmis said:

I thought the same thing.   It happened to me a few years ago, and I still can't answer an unexpected knock at the door without panicking.  Those fools don't realize how fortunate they are.

Did anyone else notice that when Jenelle was talking to her so-called friend Jamie she had a gage in one ear and no earring in the other?  I hadn't noticed her wearing a gage before.  I thought Barb looked pretty when she was being interviewed.

I liked how Chelsea's family handled the pressure of being rushed.  They were stressed, but they didn't freak out.  I shudder to think what would UBT would have done if one of his stepkids forgot their bookbag. 

I thought Leah looked nice in this episode.  Those puppies were so cute.  I hope they all ended up in good homes.  Addie looked so sad when they were giving the puppy to its new owners, and I thought it was so sweet when Ali kissed her cheek. 

I also couldn't figure out Roxanne's blanket/poncho thing.  Does it get that cold in Florida?  Could she have the chills due to her Lupus?  I didn't get her whole argument about Javi.  Was she disappointed that he wasn't being deployed and wouldn't be getting hazardous duty pay that she had hoped would be trickling over to the coven?  I need to rewatch with captions turned on.

Roxanne was having a meltdown. Big time...she is way too involved in Brianna's personal life...so is her sister. Brianna needs to get her own place but she probably needs to stay with them to help with her kids. Maybe Lupus makes you more emotional? Javi seems to be doing anything to say on the show...sad.

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1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I did love the drone shot of The Land. All mud, no sod/grass to be seen. No fence around the pool.

Right? Didn't they sod the yard prior to their hillbilly hoedown/wedding? What happened to it? The mud and the mess out there just screamed trailer trash. The pool with no fence is just an invitation to a tragedy. 

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Just now, kicksave said:

Right? Didn't they sod the yard prior to their hillbilly hoedown/wedding? What happened to it? The mud and the mess out there just screamed trailer trash. The pool with no fence is just an invitation to a tragedy. 

Isn't their entire existence basically a tragedy at this point? Jenelle looked extra moon-faced & Lithgow-esque last night. UBT legit looks like Frankenstein (no disrespect to Frankenstein). 

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What's the point of even doing a well-being check on a group of kids when the parent can just slam the door in the cop's face? 

Briana was working really hard to hide her disappointment when she found out Javi wasn't deploying. I want to stab something every time she says "axed" instead of "asked." 

I loved Aubree's "the house is gonna fall down" followed by the segue to Jenelle's sinking Swamp Shack. Well played, MTV. I loathe Jenelle but I was legitimately scared for her when David flipped out over her talking to the Sheriff's deputy. 

I totally related to the little semi-tiff between Chelsea and Cole. I don't have kids, but whenever my husband is tagging along with me I can NEVER get anywhere on time. He always either forgets something, has to make a stop, gets a call about work, wants to change into a different shirt etc. 

I don't understand Roxanne freaking out over Javi. Briana wasn't even upset and did the mature thing by telling him to slow it down, so the dramatics were so unnecessary. 

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5 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Leah taking in a pregnant dog....I'm not sure how I feel about that, given her history with pets. She does seem to be in a better place now, though. And I appreciated that she was wanting to get to know the prospective adoptees and have them agree to spay/neuter. 

 

I want to know why Brianna can't move out of that cramped-ass apartment, but she can get more cosmetic surgery? 

 

Something about the way they cut to the puppies (or my lack of attention) made me think for a second that the puppies were with Jenelle and I nearly stroked out.  So, I was nothing but relieved when it turned out to be Leah.  Those were some seriously cute pups.

Was there a scene with Brittany sitting (in her pjs I'm sure) with an ice pack on her face?  The camera was following Brianna or something so it was quick, but I was like WTF?

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10 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I don't understand Roxanne freaking out over Javi. Briana wasn't even upset and did the mature thing by telling him to slow it down, so the dramatics were so unnecessary. 

Dramatics are never unnecessary to Roxanne.

Bri hauling her enormous ass into Dr. Miami's office was hilarious. Damn thing needs its own zip code.

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16 hours ago, A-Lo said:

Which one of you "haters" sicked the PO-lice on David and Jenelle?  Because I'd like to send you a medal of valor!

Um, excuse me, it's "hatters."

1 hour ago, teapot said:

omg *exactly*!  And did anyone notice the hole in their door that was obviously from David punching it?

And again with kids in full-time daycare while the parents are home?  (in this case, Ensley & Kaiser are better off, as is Maryssa, who is probably toiling away in a factory somewhere....why do I see her in 40s garb with a rag tied in her hair?)

Yes, that was a BLATANT punched-in door!

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UBT should keep his beard trimmed, thats as far as i will go with complimenting him on anything lol. line up him in the kitchen telling jenelle to not talk to the police next to the recent selfie of them with his head resting on hers & O.O he looks likes he’s aged 10 years in only a few months to half a year. ?

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47 minutes ago, kicksave said:

Right? Didn't they sod the yard prior to their hillbilly hoedown/wedding? What happened to it? The mud and the mess out there just screamed trailer trash. The pool with no fence is just an invitation to a tragedy. 

Did you notice all that water the driveway was holding?  I had to rewind and make sure I wasn’t just seeing things.  It IS a swamp.  Love the drone shots. We can see how awful the laaaand is. 

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Javi is implying that Brianna didn’t say No.  I fast forward her segments so I don’t known what went down except by reading what you all post here. 

 

55915A5C-9482-447A-9DE5-4F48173C3333.jpeg

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Oh, come off it Javi. I've had friends who carried twins that weren't showing as much as your girlfriend was at *allegedly* three months. And how attached could he possibly have been to Brianna if he got another chick pregnant so quickly? He's like a 12 year-old girl who's in love with the idea of love. Kail and Bri are ratchet as hell, but he's not exactly innocent in all this either.

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1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

What's the point of even doing a well-being check on a group of kids when the parent can just slam the door in the cop's face?

The kids weren't home. I do think, in the case of well checks, police CAN enter the premises to make sure everything's okay. But if the kids were not home, there's really no reason to do so. Well checks are generally asked for when a friend or loved on hasn't heard from someone in awhile and is concerned something might be wrong. So they don't need a warrant, but if they get there and see there's no pressing need, they're not going to go in and stir shit up. 

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2 hours ago, kicksave said:

"Dr. Miami" did her butt a few years ago...pretty gross huh?

Roxanne was having a meltdown. Big time...she is way too involved in Brianna's personal life...so is her sister. Brianna needs to get her own place but she probably needs to stay with them to help with her kids. Maybe Lupus makes you more emotional? Javi seems to be doing anything to say on the show...sad.

Dr Miami is the one who did her butt a few years ago.  Until she got pregnant it only looked Kardashian bad.  Once she became pregnant the extra fat accumulated there as she was warned would happen if she gained weight and that is how she got the diaper butt.  In Feb she had Dr Miami go back and do a reduction on the butt, a breast implant and a tummy tuck which is what this was the pre op appt for.  Part of the deal with Dr Miami is you can watch the snaps so I saw the whole surgery.

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I wish MTV would elaborate on whatever 'access issues' presented themselves, over an entire vacation.  Because we all know that Javi and Brianna would make some kind of time to film somewhere, if even only for a few hours.  This confuses me a great deal, and to not address it at all, after naming the episode after it, is weird.  If they wanted to blow right by it, then why name the episode 'Access Issues'?  To piss me off, that's why.  Lol 

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10 hours ago, ghoulina said:

But I'm not sure why a girl who let's dudes spit in her asshole thinks she deserves some elaborate proposal with flowers and a mariachi band. 

What? I don't want to but I have to ask how you came to know this.  Oh, and I was eating, so thanks :(

I too would like to know why the Coven stays in that tiny apartment.  Are they receiving discounted Teen Mom money since she's a replacement? You'd think after a couple seasons she'd have enough money to buy a house.  There are certainly inexpensive (comparatively speaking) homes available in the Orlando area. 

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1 minute ago, snarts said:

What? I don't want to but I have to ask how you came to know this.  Oh, and I was eating, so thanks :(

I too would like to know why the Coven stays in that tiny apartment.  Are they receiving discounted Teen Mom money since she's a replacement? You'd think after a couple seasons she'd have enough money to buy a house.  There are certainly inexpensive (comparatively speaking) homes available in the Orlando area. 

Briana tweeted an image of the "asshole spitting" with some saucy comment. I'll go look for it in her thread. She's super classy!

She does make less than the other girls, plus Roxie's eyebrow pencils aren't cheap! 

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4 hours ago, Mkay said:

Javi is implying that Brianna didn’t say No.  I fast forward her segments so I don’t known what went down except by reading what you all post here. 

 

55915A5C-9482-447A-9DE5-4F48173C3333.jpeg

Why are both Kail and Javi using "y'all?" Neither are southern.

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Jenelle and David are super scary. What were they even doing when the sheriff’s officer showed up? It was like they hadn’t gotten out of bed yet.... except production was there, and where was their baby? It makes sense the older children would be with the custodial parents/ school and I guess I don’t doubt that they dump end table in daycare but wouldn’t they have to get out of bed to take her?  And I agree with previous posters that a random knock on the door to check on my kids while my kids were elsewhere would send me into a frenzy! I would be calling the school, daycare, and everywhere to find out was happening.

 

You are damned if you do, damned if you don’t with the Orlando coven! And puhhhlease get a new apartment or house or something with enough space for all of y’all before anyone buys any more plastic surgery or eye brow pencils.

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3 hours ago, CaliforniaLove said:

You brave, brave soul. :-) I don't think I could stomach that. 

It was pretty gross.  Javi did stand by his promise and was there and was shown in the snap before the operation started.

1 hour ago, zenme said:

Dr. Miami performed Kail's and Brianna's mommy "makeovers". He did those for free too, I believe. Not very good advertising if you ask me. 

He also did Brittany's.

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I remember looking up Brianna's apartment complex a while back and the rent was surprisingly expensive. I'm not familiar with the Orlando area, but I wonder if it's one of those places where the cost of living is higher than you'd expect, especially if you want to be in a decent school district.

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1 minute ago, BitterApple said:

I remember looking up Brianna's apartment complex a while back and the rent was surprisingly expensive. I'm not familiar with the Orlando area, but I wonder if it's one of those places where the cost of living is higher than you'd expect, especially if you want to be in a decent school district.

Yeah, plus it looks pretty new, so it's probably a place with a bunch of amenities (on site gym, tennis court, pool, etc.). Out here in Southern California, places like that are ALWAYS super expensive. It's all about the "mom & pop" apartments if you're looking for reasonable rent. 

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17 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

Briana: She is just not attractive in my opinion. So the Air Force found a loophole so Javi doesn't have to deploy? Boy the military has changed. At least she didn't take the ring. What was up with the "cast issues" that prevented them from being recorded. That's probably rhetorical because someone will likely have mentioned it in the comments that I have not yet read.

Nope, I don't believe any of our P.I.s have figured it out yet. 

I'm sorry for all you're going through @configdotsys. Keep us posted on everything please. *sending virtual hugs*

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22 hours ago, MinorL said:

David’s reaction to law enforcement being at his door was proof that a wellness check was required. He is violent and scary. 

Jenelle saying, "Just a minute and coming out of that room sent a scare through me for some reason. Then when David came out of there shirtless with a psycho face, it truly scared me. He is really terrifying. Jenelle is an idiot but I seriously fear for her safety.

22 hours ago, woodscommaelle said:

"Mommy and daddy are pieces of shit."

Oh my god.  

Oh man. I never though it could be Jenelle asking Jace. 

4 hours ago, ghoulina said:

The kids weren't home. I do think, in the case of well checks, police CAN enter the premises to make sure everything's okay. But if the kids were not home, there's really no reason to do so. Well checks are generally asked for when a friend or loved on hasn't heard from someone in awhile and is concerned something might be wrong. So they don't need a warrant, but if they get there and see there's no pressing need, they're not going to go in and stir shit up. 

I wondered why the policeman took them at their word that the kids were at daycare. If someone called in a wellness complaint to police I would think the police would ask if they can do a walk through and not just leave because the occupants could be lying and have beaten kids in their room or something or drugs laying about (which endangers kids) etc. I just found that very odd that he simply took Jenelle's word for it. He would have at least called a superior and said that the people are refusing entry on a wellness call and saying it's fake and let a higher up come out and talk to them or something. The whole "Okay, bye," from the cop was seriously weird to me.

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1 hour ago, BitterApple said:

I remember looking up Brianna's apartment complex a while back and the rent was surprisingly expensive. I'm not familiar with the Orlando area, but I wonder if it's one of those places where the cost of living is higher than you'd expect, especially if you want to be in a decent school district.

Rent in Florida is hella expensive. There are super nice apartments with tons of amenities or shitholes, not a lot in between. Which is why I'm surprised they continue to rent. The teen mom money should give them a healthy down payment on a home, and home prices in Orlando are affordable. 

I don't think Chelsea was freaking out. She was anxious about being late to drop aubree and her appointment and was mildly annoyed that Cole was being so lackadaisical about it. That said, she got over and carried on. I think they compliment/balance each other well. 

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6 hours ago, BitterApple said:

 

I totally related to the little semi-tiff between Chelsea and Cole. I don't have kids, but whenever my husband is tagging along with me I can NEVER get anywhere on time. He always either forgets something, has to make a stop, gets a call about work, wants to change into a different shirt etc. 

 

My husband is the same. I'm standing by the front door, holding my keys and purse and he's still upstairs trying to find his belt.

David is such a scary dude. 

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1 hour ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Yeah, plus it looks pretty new, so it's probably a place with a bunch of amenities (on site gym, tennis court, pool, etc.). Out here in Southern California, places like that are ALWAYS super expensive. It's all about the "mom & pop" apartments if you're looking for reasonable rent. 

Am I wrong that in the original 16 & P episode they had a house??  I swear they did.  Even if it was a rent house, it was better than the cramped apartment they are in now.  

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2 minutes ago, geauxaway said:

Am I wrong that in the original 16 & P episode they had a house??  I swear they did.  Even if it was a rent house, it was better than the cramped apartment they are in now.  

I think they were in some sort of townhouse, yes. 

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(edited)
39 minutes ago, Isthisok said:

So, did anybody notice that we didn’t see Lil Soapy’s face this episode? 

Yes! They lingered on the other babies, but spared us Lil Soapy. Thanks editors! 

 

Brianna couldn't be less into Javi. She couldn't even manage to tell her friend that she "liked" him, nevertheless spend eternity with him. And God knows what he sees in her. 

Edited by missy jo
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2 hours ago, Jackintheknox said:

Jenelle and David are super scary. What were they even doing when the sheriff’s officer showed up? It was like they hadn’t gotten out of bed yet.... except production was there, and where was their baby? It makes sense the older children would be with the custodial parents/ school and I guess I don’t doubt that they dump end table in daycare but wouldn’t they have to get out of bed to take her?  

Jenelle gets a six figure salary and can't even bother to show up to work on time, which is in her living room. 

2 hours ago, configdotsys said:

So the Air Force found a loophole so Javi doesn't have to deploy? Boy the military has changed. 

When this was being filmed Briana's mother tweeted and deleted that Javi was using the deployment as a storyline and for sympathy.

@configdotsys sending you love ❤️

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