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Kristen Doute: Cigarette Sally


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I saw previews that showed FI Tom & Ariana kissing. It cut to a scene where Kristen says "I don't like the two of them together". Or something like that. Now I'm curious to find out if this season will be another round of Kristen flipping out about FI Tom. Fingers crossed that she is over him. Somehow I doubt it. *sighs*

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I'm unclear as to who got to keep the sad, crummy apartment in the breakup. Was it Kristen?

 

I was trying to figure out if it was Tom and Kristen's old apartment that Tom and Arianna were now living in.  The kitchen layout looked awfully familiar, but then so do literally hundreds of apartment kitchens in any given region.

 

And, yippee, it's Monday...Which means an all-new episode tonight.  Maybe they'll show more "at home" footage and we'll be able to tell who got to keep that dark, depressing apartment and if Tom has a new flat-iron or if he's still using last season's model.  

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Somehow I bet Arianna would have a nicer place than the one FI Tom and Kristen did. I hope they are living there. I also remember that FI Tom tried to evict Kristen but she kept banging busboy in their bed and he eventually just let it go. I also bet that punch to busboy in the first episode was a long time coming. If he hadn't beaten him bloody beforehand busboy should feel lucky....he's an antagonistic little twat.

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Pandora's Las Vegas bachelorette party episode is on Bravo right now (2011 RHOBH episode). I spotted Kristen and I think Tina? in several shots. Very random! I wonder if Pandora and Kristen were friends at one point.

Edited by Elizabeth
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I recall Kristen saying Tom evicted her, but I couldn't figure out if he and Arianna were living in that same apartment or traded up for better digs.

 

I thought it appeared that Flat Iron is still living in the same Apartment of Doom.  (You know, where everyone gets banged but Flat Iron)  Everything looked pretty much the same.  Has it been stated that Ariana is living with him?  If she's smart, she'll keep her own place (and pants.)

 

he's an antagonistic little twat.

 

 

Agreed.  But I will add delusional to that since Busboy so kindly and cleverly informed us that Flat Iron is clearly jealous of his antagonistic and delusional British ass.

Edited by psychoticstate
  • Love 2
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Apparently next week we get Kristen accusing TKatie of cheating on Schwartz...."Motorboating his dick is not a photo shoot."

 

Very nice. And for once, Kristen didn't cry or flip out at someone this episode. First time in like, a season and a half?

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If anyone is interested, Kristen explains here that Tom and Ariana were using Scheana's place to hook up while Tom and Kristen were still together. Starts at about 20:30 (stupid phone is not letting me link to the exact moment).

This is a long and dishy interview that should be taken with several tons of salt, but I do feel comfortable in saying that ol' flat iron is as big a liar as anyone. He isn't straightening my heart as well as he did in seasons past.

Edited by The Mighty Peanut
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I'm watching the S2 reunion. Kristen has the craziest crazy eyes in crazy town! She is reality TV gold! It's hard to believe that you can't smell the crazy on her. I would just shake my head when everyone realized toward the end of S2 that she was just bat-shit. I mean, it's Kristen! How can you not know? Except for Sandoval. He's dumb as a bag of hair.

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I'm watching the S2 reunion. Kristen has the craziest crazy eyes in crazy town! She is reality TV gold! It's hard to believe that you can't smell the crazy on her. I would just shake my head when everyone realized toward the end of S2 that she was just bat-shit. I mean, it's Kristen! How can you not know? Except for Sandoval. He's dumb as a bag of hair.

Word! She is just really, really krazy! She still acts as though she is in high school not letting go. What she is close to 30 and is still such a hot mess loserina. 

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Word! She is just really, really krazy! She still acts as though she is in high school not letting go. What she is close to 30 and is still such a hot mess loserina.

She's over 30! The FI Tom Vegas skank thing happened on her 30th birthday which makes her between 31-100 depending on the exact timing of it and how much Kristen is lying about her age.

Her and Tom were a weirdly fascinating couple to me. I'm sorry if this next part comes across as offensive to anyone. I felt like there was some interesting gender role modeling reversal going on. Tom is so prissy and Kristen is almost like a dirty frat boy. They were interesting to watch in a car crash sort of way.

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TLC is ahving a new show called, My Husband Is Not Gay. If Kristen and Tom were married I would imagine they would be on this show.

 

Oh NOOOOO to her behavior at 30. Really she should have some kind of life by now?? 

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TLC is ahving a new show called, My Husband Is Not Gay. If Kristen and Tom were married I would imagine they would be on this show.

Oh NOOOOO to her behavior at 30. Really she should have some kind of life by now??

At the S2 reunion Tom mentioned that Kristen's mental health had been an issue between them for years. He would demand she get help and she would agree and then never go. If she is suffering from untreated BPD or Bi-polar or something it might explain why her life looks like this even though she's way too old for this shit. She may thrive in chaos and get anxious if there isn't any emotional drama to deal with. What looks like a horrific amount of tension and drama to you and me may read as soothing white noise to her. I have a relative who's 70 and refuses to stick with treatment for her BPD. She's not far off of Kristen. It's like dealing with a hormonal teenager all the damn time. No joke, she'll lie about something just to start a fight and create drama and attention. You don't really grow out of it.

BUT, but but but, I did feel for Kristen in regards to smug asshole couple of the year, Tom and Areanna. Yes she's horrible, yes she fucked Jax, yes she's a destructive person I would cut out of my life. THEY DID HOOK-UP! She was right and they spent all season lying to her face and calling her crazy. Even when they fessed up they were smug sorry/not sorry assholes about it. I hated the way they kept trying to make a hot and heavy make-out session in a pool in Vagas sound like they hugged good-by once. Plus I don't belive there was no sex. Such fucking jerks.

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BUT, but but but, I did feel for Kristen in regards to smug asshole couple of the year, Tom and Areanna. Yes she's horrible, yes she fucked Jax, yes she's a destructive person I would cut out of my life. THEY DID HOOK-UP! She was right and they spent all season lying to her face and calling her crazy. Even when they fessed up they were smug sorry/not sorry assholes about it. I hated the way they kept trying to make a hot and heavy make-out session in a pool in Vagas sound like they hugged good-by once. Plus I don't belive there was no sex. Such fucking jerks.

 

Even if they did have sex though, SO WHAT? They tried to gaslight you, you knew it, you're not actually crazy in this instance and what do you do with your time?

 

Try to convince everybody your ex is cheating on his new girl...And somehow, hook up with some weird ass busboy who cares just as much about what your ex is doing as you do.

 

Kristen and James are fucking weirdos.

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The fact that both Kristen and Tom so willingly engage in this kind of fucked up game playing makes me shudder to think what they were like as a couple. They're both such horribly creepy people with such fucked ideas about relationships.

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Kristen and James are fucking weirdos.

 

I actually think James is the weirdest one in this entire situation. Kristen is batshit insane, but I can figure her out. She's dating James simply as a rebound, to make herself feel better about being dumped and to also attempt and try to make Tom jealous. She goes over to her old apt. 5 times a week to collect mail and other odds and ends she just happened to forget last time, starts fights with Arianna, tries to spread gossip and ruin their relationship - because she's hurting and obviously mentally unstable. 

 

But what's James's angle here? Why put up with a girl who is not only clearly batshit insane, but also clearly not over her ex. Not even a tiny bit. Why play backseat to Tom and his flat iron? Why sit there and watch your girlfriend get all dolled up in YOUR apartment, to go over to another dude's apartment? Is he just as crazy as she is? Is he so insecure that he feels she's the best he can do? Is he just so fucked up that she really IS the best he can do? Is he using her to up his storyline on the show and get more exposure for his DJ career? Is Lisa paying him to date her? Is he using her as a beard and trying to make Tom jealous as well? (I still think those two had something). 

 

Yea, Muppet James is an enigma to me. 

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Yes, I do believe James is in this to promote his DJ career. Dating Kristen, the only single regular cast member right now, is his ticket to being a regular cast member. And by being a regular cast member, he gets more air time which equals more money and he can promote his DJ-ing/production career (i.e. producing a song for Scheana). I believe that's the sole reason he begged Lisa for a job at SUR and begged her to hire him back, especially when she mentioned there are thousands of other restaurants in LA he could work at. Ah yes, but none of those others have their own TV show. I wouldn't be surprised if most of these relationships are scripted for the show, actually. Tom and Ariana seem forced. Scheana and Shay are the only couple that really seem genuine and maybe it's because Shay doesn't talk much.

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Yes, I can only imagine that James is a) dating Kristin, b) begged for his busboy job back, c) wrote a song for Scheana, and d) fights with Tom over Kristin (when Tom wants absolutely no involvement with any of that) solely to 1) get on this show and 2) ultimately promote his music career. There can't possibly be any other reason for dating Kristin, who is obviously and obsessively still in love with Tom.

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Caught a re-run of New Girl, Old Grudges. Kristen was getting ready to go over to FI Tom's place and spent TIME on her hair. It was still a lank mess and looked like she didn't even comb it. What. The. Hale?

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Interview with Kristen on Sirius -- apparently there are 18 episodes this season! She said the episodes were filmed about six months ago.  No big spoilers but it was an interesting interview...she talked about how she ended up in LA and the casting process, among other things.  She really doesn't like Jax, which is funny, all things considering! She also has a t-shirt line coming out, and said something about a vegetarian blog. 

 

https://soundcloud.com/siriusxmentertainment/kristen-doute-lets-it-all-hang-out-with-larry-flick-on-out-q

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Will the shirts come with a complimentary cigarette funk about them? Instead of a vegetarian blog, she should blog about how best to stalk and obsess about your ex.

I bet she'd get more hits on her blog if it was about stalking an ex properly.

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I love crazy Kristen.  She makes the show entertaining for me.  Worst thing that could happen for my viewing pleasure is that her therapy takes hold.

 

....I do wish her well, though.  I think she has it in her...deep down.

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Will the shirts come with a complimentary cigarette funk about them? Instead of a vegetarian blog, she should blog about how best to stalk and obsess about your ex.

I had to laugh when someone, possibly DJ Muppet Busboy, complained about her reeking of tequila!
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Know what I just realized about Kristen? She sounds exactly like the girl that Taylor Swift talks about in her song "Blank Space." Listen to the lyrics. It sounds exactly like Kristen, a crazy psychopath who basically stalks her ex. LOL.

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I'm snowed in and have spent a rather long time skimming through Kristen gifs. She is like the messiah of gifs.

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Hmmm. Kristin didn't lie; it's a Bill Clinton technicality. She didn't "bang" Jax, they performed oral on each other, right? Free Kristin! Lol.

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I thought they did have actual sex? Wasn't there something about kissing after the oral? Shudder. I feel like I need a bath after typing that. 

I recall that too. And sadly can picture in my mind Stassi retelling the whole misadventure like a supervillain during that photoshoot episode. Just, ick. Also we had Jax admitting recently that they did the deed while ticking off his list of servers he's slept with.

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