S06.E16: Melissa Morris

[AnnaBaptist]

1 hour ago, Miss Ruth said:

  She could work off some of that fat by cleaning that cluttered house.  Raising three children is hard, but she should have time to do housework.  I kept thinking about how ashamed I would be if a member of my family saw my house like that, not to mention millions of strangers seeing that mess.  I guess, if she can take a naked shower in front of all those people, a filthy house wouldn't bother her. 

Her house was cluttered, but it was not filthy. The floors and carpet were clean, and there were no dirty dishes in the sink. The dining table looked clean and there was no clutter on it. There were no piles of laundry. I don't recall any scenes that showed the bathrooms, but it would not surprise me if the toilet, tub, sink, counter, and mirrors were cleaned regularly. She just has a lot of crap lying around. She needs to organize her things better, but the house is clean.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

She could work off some of that fat by cleaning that cluttered house.  Raising three children is hard, but she should have time to do housework.  I kept thinking about how ashamed I would be if a member of my family saw my house like that, not to mention millions of strangers seeing that mess.  I guess, if she can take a naked shower in front of all those people, a filthy house wouldn't bother her.  While I admire her for losing hundreds of pounds, the doctor took off over a hundred pounds in two follow-up surgeries. 

Three small children, under the age of 6, with what appeared to be no support or help from anyone - that doesn't leave a lot of time for cleaning/tidying/putting on makeup/etc. I agree with so many others that Melissa likely suffers from depression - so on top of the regular exhaustion from the three little ones, she is further exhausted from that. Honestly, the last thing I'm going to judge that woman for is having a messy house. It didn't look dirty to me - it looked disorganized. Her kids were fed, clothed, bathed and cared for. It seemed that she spends most of her free time walking with them and playing with them. I'd choose taking a walk with my kid over vacuuming or dusting any day of the week.

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, kicotan said:

Her husband’s profile has also disappeared. I swear, it wasn’t a dream!  

I totally believe you. It wouldn't surprise me in the least that she got back together with him. 

[AVM]

5 hours ago, Quof said:

"Why is everything a journey? Why can't I just live? Why can't I just be?" 

George Costanza

Amen that Oprah speak word now makes me want to kick the TV screen in ..lol

Edited April 26, 2018 by AVM

[Mothra]

27 minutes ago, Giant Misfit said:

I totally believe you. It wouldn't surprise me in the least that she got back together with him. 

She did have a lot of trouble convincing herself to ditch him in the first place.  I wouldn't be surprised, either.

She moved to a "smaller house" to save money.  That new house looked a lot nicer than her old one, and it seemed just a big to me, but maybe it was a two-bedroom instead of a three-bedroom or something.  And she gets a total pass from me, too, about her messy house.  It looked to me like most of the clutter was kid-related, anyway.

I totally felt it when she was crying over the pants.  She had been so fat she had not been able to shop in regular, even fat-lady, stores, and she and her friends were looking forward to shopping for their new bodies.  She knew she had gained weight, but not being able to get into pants she expected to be able to get into was a real blow--it symbolized everything that was wrong, I think, everything that was stressing her out so she was overeating.  Sometimes pants are just pants, but I don't think it was the case this time.

And why didn't Dr. Now send her to therapy earlier?  Have to say I didn't think much of that therapist.  She didn't seem to be listening very carefully to what Melissa was saying.  And Melissa, who doesn't want to let anybody down, pretended imo to feel better because of what the therapist said.

[AVM]

53 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Three small children, under the age of 6, with what appeared to be no support or help from anyone - that doesn't leave a lot of time for cleaning/tidying/putting on makeup/etc. I agree with so many others that Melissa likely suffers from depression - so on top of the regular exhaustion from the three little ones, she is further exhausted from that. Honestly, the last thing I'm going to judge that woman for is having a messy house. It didn't look dirty to me - it looked disorganized. Her kids were fed, clothed, bathed and cared for. It seemed that she spends most of her free time walking with them and playing with them. I'd choose taking a walk with my kid over vacuuming or dusting any day of the week.

Meanwhile she had friends and lot of support  on her trip to L.A   yet no one around when she is  at home to tell her to snap out of it ? I think she lives online like Bette-Jo ?

Edited April 26, 2018 by AVM

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Giant Misfit said:

I totally believe you. It wouldn't surprise me in the least that she got back together with him. 

I agree. I can 100% see Melissa not going through with the divorce, being “separated” and letting Chris weasel his way back into her life. I’ve seen it before. 

[SunnyBeBe]

I take it that we don't get to see all of the therapy session.  Maybe, they edit out a lot.  I would imagine the session is either 30 minutes to one hour. And we see less than 5 minutes.  I would imagine it's difficult to tell people that they have to do it for themselves, or it won't happen. (Change eating habits.)  I think they try to give them coping tools and that's good. And some people just have so many troubles, the therapist hardly knows where to start.  

[kicotan]

9 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

WHY would she keep junk food in the house for the kids.  They don't need it and neither does she.  To me, that indicates very poor judgment.  Why help set your kids up for obesity later on in their lives?  Why don't people think of this?  To me, they use the kids as an excuse to buy it, then eat it themselves. 

Agreed, 100%!

I wouldn’t let mine eat sugar or anything with sugar in it for the first 5 years, made my own baby food and the eldest was vegetarian until she was 6.  I thought it was important to shape their eating habit and palate in those formative years, plus I was being mindful of my own eating habit because of my GI issues.  It was win/win for all of us.

 

4 hours ago, aliya said:

Something crossed my mind - Melissa has a history of weight issues. Why in the world would her OB-GYN let her gain 100 lbs? I can't think of any doc who wouldn't be concerned about a pregnant woman who gained 100 lbs w/a pregnancy. Of course, s/he can't control what she's eating, but she says it so matter-of-factly - "I gained 100 lbs with the last pregnancy."  That sounds like a serious medical issue to me, but I could be wrong.

I agree.  It can be a struggle from the opposite side of things as well.  I had some GI issues before and especially during pregnancy that made it next to impossible to keep anything down.  I weighed 98 pounds when I got pregnant the first time. I’m 5’8” and neither anorexic nor bulimic, just hormonally wayyy out of whack.  I was on a strict vegetarian diet prior to pregnancy, continued when pregnant and it was a constant challenge to gain and maintain a healthy weight.  I went to the ER more than once for medication to stop the vomiting cycle lasting longer than 24 hours as well as IV fluids for dehydration.  As long as I was gradually gaining and not losing, my OBGYN was happy.  I weighed 164 when I delivered and baby was just shy of 8 pounds, healthy as all get out.  Two months later I was down to 134.

The issues these poundparticipants face during/after pregnancy is more than I can imagine.  My heart goes out to them.

[Caoimhe]

I get why she wants to be a motivational speaker.  I was once a Weight Watchers leader and it’s nice to have people complimenting you all the time when they see your “before” photos.  I even did it as motivation to keep the weight off (and no it did not work in the long run, we moved to another country and I turned to food once again).  But I never saw Melissa as being motivating.  She did stick with the plan and it was wonderful to see how happy she was as the weight came off but every patient who did well on the program could be a motivator at that point, even those who took a few tries before they lost anything.  And yeah seeing that skirt AGAIN made me reach for the fast forward button.  From the point of view that “surgery is not a permanent fix” I was glad to see her story.

Her life isn’t easy but I don’t think “motivational speaker” is the answer.  I really do hope she gets more counseling and learns healthier ways to cope than turning to food.  

I have to wonder about the husband disappearing off social media and her page... given that she must know her show was featured last night she might have taken action so we didn’t see her gain a useless 150 pounds again?

[nlkm9]

I agree with the poster who said she needs a refresher surgery--I know people who have undergone weight loss surgery weighing way less than 267 lbs.

Hasnt it been 11 years?? I bet her stomach is all stretched out (or whatever you call it, pouch, sleeve, etc) I really could not beleive she kept having children with someone who kept cheating on her--but she does seem like a very loving mother.

[DC Gal in VA]

11 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I posted about Melissa not too long ago around here, because I was wondering what she was up to.  My research found an article about her journey and it said that she was struggling due to having to steer clear of the junk food the kids have in the house.  I said then, WHY would she keep junk food in the house for the kids.  They don't need it and neither does she.  To me, that indicates very poor judgment.  Why help set your kids up for obesity later on in their lives?  Why don't people think of this?  To me, they use the kids as an excuse to buy it, then eat it themselves.  Just part of the BS.  She told Dr. Now that she eats the kid's cheese sticks.  I assume she meant the fried kind and not string cheese. I wonder if she knows her kids could grow up loving healthy food, not crap that helped make her super morbidly obese.  

I missed the first 20 minutes, so, please chime in if I'm off on this. But, I never saw any real joy in Melissa's life.  She's a the glass is half empty person and she gets in her own way most of the time. I'm no professional, but, was she depressed? Needing meds?  I wonder why they didn't mention that.  

Also, I can understand why a person rejects living each day with a strict diet of food they don't like. WHY oh WHY, don't they stop with this strict diet thing that isn't sustainable and just learn to prepare and enjoy GOOD, DELICIOUS, NUTRITIOUS food, instead of focusing on what they can't have.  Why not enjoy the great foods that you can have?

 

You bring up so many great points and insights about Melissa SunnyBeBe. Not only does she feel the ridiculous need to keep junk food around the house "for the kids" but one of the other excuses she gave Dr. Now for gaining weight was that old chestnut of finishing leftover food on her kids' plates which points to the obvious conclusion that she consistently puts way too much food on their plates. The most glaring example of this is her daughter. I do not say this to be cruel but that child is already overweight, perhaps even obese. Is Melissa totally blind to this? Now, one can say that this is just baby fat but my gut feeling is that she is just emulating the bad eating habits she observes in her mother.

As for your comment about her rejecting living each day with a strict diet of food they don't like, I tended to agree with you, believing that you can construct delicious meals no matter what dietary restrictions you have. However, after going to Dr. Now's website and viewing the various post surgery daily meal plans depending on which weight loss surgery procedure one had, I would personally find it next to impossible--major foodie and home cook that I am--to come up with delicious, desirable meals on a daily basis. I mean, wow, those meal restrictions were brutal. What I also noticed was that the post surgery diets included one to two snacks a day even though Dr. Now always says to all of the patients he sees "No snacking, three meals per day ONLY!" I have to say that would confuse the Hell outta me.

This is the page where those various plans can be found.

https://www.tlcsurgery.com/education/pre-post-operative-diet/

Edited April 26, 2018 by DC Gal in VA

[Miss Ruth]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I agree. I can 100% see Melissa not going through with the divorce, being “separated” and letting Chris weasel his way back into her life. I’ve seen it before. 

She said he wouldn't move out.

[QuinnInND]

I was on Twitter last night and Melissa posted that her father is still alive. 

[Bonzie]

6 hours ago, Maricopa said:

Indeed, 150 is not underweight for almost any woman unless she's unusually tall; when I hit that # I started looking like Twitney's Pooh-on-the-beach photo. I'm 5'6 and it's 150 is 25 lbs. overweight for me, according to my MD (just got down to 137, yay)! I do not understand why Dr. Now would recommend weight gain unless someone is showing symptoms of anorexic-type eating disorders. Melissa did it once before, and I hope she can get back down to 150-ish. She looked quite good at that weight.

I'm the same height as you and unless you have a small bone structure, 150 is still in the normal range.  You can get up to 154 - after that, it's overweight. Obesity for a 5-6"er kicks in at 183.

[NeitherSparky]

16 hours ago, Bonzie said:

- Has this show really been on that long? Jeez, I'm old.

It hasn't been on for 11-12 years if that's what you're asking. :) As I recall the first season took 7 years to film; when it was popular enough to warrant further seasons they didn't film the patients for so long.

Anyways I'm saying it now: I'm not even going to bother watching the Supersized edition of this ep, if there is one.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Miss Ruth said:

She said he wouldn't move out.

Oh I don’t remember that thank you. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, NeitherSparky said:

Anyways I'm saying it now: I'm not even going to bother watching the Supersized edition of this ep, if there is one.

You could be missing an extra 30 seconds of her luggage circling around the carousel at the airport. 

[aliya]

I'm watching her cry in the fitting room. There are MANY women her size who wear attractive clothing everyday. She's disappointed in how she looks because she's choosing ugly-a$$ed, poorly fitting, clothes. She needs to look at some of these big girls on YT who buy cute clothes and look good in them - because they fit properly. 

I've mentioned that my mother was huge when I was growing up. She sewed because she had to learn to make a lot of her own clothes due to her size. She also made clothes for the 5 of us girls.  I know what properly fitted clothing on big women looks like.  There must be a clothing gene - in our little college town, my son found a tailor and gets his good clothes altered.

In the 'guys do strange things' category:  For a number of months, all these boxes would arrive for my son from Zappos and clothing companies. I know he's a clothes horse, but this was getting ridiculous. Finally I asked what was up and he told me he was buying clothes & shoes for the next 5 years, while he would be a doctoral student.  He figured he'd only have to fill in with a few things during that time period and would have money for other stuff since his clothing needs would be met.  Yes - doctoral program... apparently sanity is not a requirement for admission. I still shake my head at this.

[Noirprncess]

14 hours ago, Giant Misfit said:

Melissa is a nice person. That said, Melissa is also a person who needs serious intervention to help her develop coping skills, self esteem, and decision making abilities. No matter how much she loves her children, she should have never had three of them with Chris—who even before the first one was born showed her his true colors. She talks of her "dream job" as a motivational speaker when she already had that job with Dr Now in the past and somehow couldn't seem to keep that. Does she think one day she'll wake up and become Tony Robbins?*  She spouts a lot of refrigerator-magnet slogans and can't even apply them to herself because she thinks they're all bullshit. 

The Melissa I saw last night was no different than the Melissa from 12 seasons ago, minus the hundreds of lost pounds. 

Also, this episode had no business being two hours. There was simply no story there to tell.

*I hate Tony Robbins but was the only example of a motivational speaker with name recognition I could think of. 

 

This!

 

She's really needs to work with a therapist.

This really was an episode that they should have used to cover 4 separate "Where Are They Now?" folks with 30 minutes each.

[Miss Ruth]

6 hours ago, AnnaBaptist said:

There were no piles of laundry.

I saw piles of clothes throughout the house.  It was the same way in the room she used at her parents' house. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

no one around when she is  at home to tell her to snap out of it ?

Having had depression for most of my life, I can tell you that not only is "someone around to tell you to snap out of it" not particularly effective, it's often counterproductive. It's hard enough to be sad and feel hopeless and helpless. It's even worse to feel all that AND guilty about feeling that way because you know that you have so many reasons to be happy and there are so many people out there who have so much less than you do. Melissa would benefit from local friends for many, many reasons, but telling her to snap out of it isn't one of them.

Quote

I saw piles of clothes throughout the house. 

With three kids that age, life is a never ending cycle of laundry. Particularly with an infant. I don't blame her one bit for constantly having dirty laundry and clean clothes that don't make it back into a closet or dresser before they are back on the kid again.

Quote

I agree. I can 100% see Melissa not going through with the divorce, being “separated” and letting Chris weasel his way back into her life. I’ve seen it before. 

I can see this but I have heard that divorce can be expensive - particularly if there are any disagreements on the settlement. I can see Chris being perfectly content to be "separated" and spared the legal obligation to pay child support. I can see Melissa not having the money or the energy to legalize a divorce, especially once he was out of the house.

Quote

that child is already overweight, perhaps even obese. 

I definitely don't think that she is obese. She may be clinically overweight - I don't know how tall she is or how much she weighs - or how old she is. She looked to me like she had baby fat that she could "outgrow" when her height catches up with her weight. 

[Snarkastikate]

Those of us with weight issues know it's always a huge struggle,  the bad food is just so darned tasty!  Seriously, Melissa gained over 100 lbs and maybe I misunderstood but did Dr  Now basically  tell her that as long as she's under 400 it's ok?   Couldn't that be considered permission to go hog wild?   Hmmmm.  I think she and the philanderer hubby will be together forever, they need each other, and frankly they can't afford two homes.   And he won't stop doing his thing.   Please don't have any more kids you two, but I bet there's one more mouth to feed in a year or so.  Lordy she does cry a lot.  And gee she really had her dad with one foot in the grave,  wasn't even sure he'd make it til she got there to see him! Yikes!   But Dad looked somewhat ok, I know a few guys with CHF and COPD and dad there looked in far better shape, so hang in there dad.   And my friends have had it for many years.   Hope he has longer than his daughter thinks he does.   Final catty remark....... please wear longer tops  Melissa.   Would work wonders.    

[Armchair Critic]

4 hours ago, Snarkastikate said:

Final catty remark....... please wear longer tops  Melissa.   Would work wonders.    

And I will add another MEOW... please wash your hair, it often looks greasy.

[aliya]

11 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

With three kids that age, life is a never ending cycle of laundry. Particularly with an infant. I don't blame her one bit for constantly having dirty laundry and clean clothes that don't make it back into a closet or dresser before they are back on the kid again.

My mother remarried and had 3 kids in quick succession, plus me and my sister from her first marriage. For a long time, there were 5 children in the house. One of her claims to fame was that anyone could walk into her home and not know that there were 5 kids. The living room was spotless. The dining room always looked like she was going to serve Sunday dinner. We played in the basement rec room or our bedrooms. Even the den, where we watched TV and could accumulate some stuff, had to be cleared before bed. She was a clean freak and always doing laundry. Never did I see laundry anywhere else but the laundry room and the bedrooms where the clean clothes were deposited for us to fold up. As we got older, we were responsible for our uniform blouses and underwear and again, no piles of laundry. You do the laundry and you put it away. I cannot even imagine having piles of clothes around the house. btw - my mother worked most of this time. Melissa is at home. No excuse.

It can be done. I'm sorry she's got her hands full, but she can take control of her house. She - and the kids - would be happier in an ordered house. If I walked into my house and saw piles of dirty (or even clean) laundry, I'd be depressed and feel overwhelmed. At the very least, move the clutter out of the living room and into the kids' rooms. Also, I wonder if piles like this are signs of too much stuff. If children didn't have more clothes than they need, there wouldn't be piles of laundry to do. I know that kids get dirty and may wear multiple shirts, etc. a day, but they don't need tons of stuff. Same thing with toys. Most of us have too many things. Then we complain when we get overwhelmed by the effort needed to manage them. 

[CoachWristletJen]

20 hours ago, aliya said:

What is it?  I hear a story. Not sure if I hear a message.

There's always a message, even if it's a simple one. Persevere. I did it, and you can, too. That stuff never gets old for people looking for hope and encouragement.

[aliya]

6 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

There's always a message, even if it's a simple one. Persevere. I did it, and you can, too. That stuff never gets old for people looking for hope and encouragement.

Nope. If she had gained the weight and then lost it, then maybe there's a message about perseverance. She's still gaining. I need to see success after perseverance for it to be meaningful to me. Otherwise, sorry, it's just a story.  A lot of WLS people gain weight after the surgery. I can totally dig where she could reach that audience, but she has to lose the weight again before she has something to offer them.

[CoachWristletJen]

4 minutes ago, aliya said:

Nope. If she had gained the weight and then lost it, then maybe there's a message about perseverance. She's still gaining. I need to see success after perseverance for it to be meaningful to me. Otherwise, sorry, it's just a story.  A lot of WLS people gain weight after the surgery. I can totally dig where she could reach that audience, but she has to lose the weight again before she has something to offer them.

She's still maintaining a loss of over 300 pounds after 10 years. Even Doctor Now said that she was a success by the standards of 600 pound people who have the surgery. You may not call it a success, but a lot of people do and would be interested in hearing about her very real struggles even if she doesn't look like a Kardashian. 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

 

It can be done. I'm sorry she's got her hands full, but she can take control of her house. She - and the kids - would be happier in an ordered house. If I walked into my house and saw piles of dirty (or even clean) laundry, I'd be depressed and feel overwhelmed. At the very least, move the clutter out of the living room and into the kids' rooms. Also, I wonder if piles like this are signs of too much stuff. If children didn't have more clothes than they need, there wouldn't be piles of laundry to do. I know that kids get dirty and may wear multiple shirts, etc. a day, but they don't need tons of stuff. Same thing with toys. Most of us have too many things. Then we complain when we get overwhelmed by the effort needed to manage them. 

 

I didn't hear Melissa complaining about the effort it took to manage her house; I'm responding to people here criticizing Melissa for failing to keep her house to their standards. 

Can keeping a house neat and tidy be done with three small kids. Sure. Your mom did you. You do it. Congrats!  Would Melissa's kids be happier in a tidier house - maybe. Maybe not. I know people who grew up in houses where everything was "just so" and they weren't necessarily happier. Some felt like guest in their own home; afraid to spill something or leave a toy out of place. Not everyone needs a super organized house to be comfortable.

I think Melissa is exhausted and depressed. I don't judge her at all for having clothes in piles around the house. I don't think that it means they have "more than they need" (I'm not even sure how one would calculate that). It's not uncommon for families with small children to have lots of children's clothes. Kids go through them quickly and having more keeps you from doing laundry every single day. Plus I'm sure Melissa keeps her older son's clothes as he outgrows them so the younger son can wear them when he grows into them.

Melissa may not keep her home,  or her personal appearance, up to a lot of people's standards. But her kids seem happy and well cared for. She seems to spend a lot of time with them - not just feeding and clothing them but playing with them and talking to them and interacting with them. I give her all the credit in the world for that.

[sempervivum]

I don't need to lose weight, but I regard this show and the participants' struggles as 'motivational' in the sense that they give me a general message of hope in triumphing over my own bad impulses. That's why the string of shows where nobody actually succeeds in reaching their goal weight have been so boring and disappointing.  

This is where I have a problem seeing Melissa as a motivational speaker. Unless she gets back to a reasonable weight, why would anyone want to see her talk about her struggle? She looks pretty bad (and doesn't know how to dress), has a sweet but uninteresting personality, and doesn't seem very smart/funny or insightful. She did initially succeed, with a tremendous amount of help, but then made a ton of bad decisions, including re-gaining a lot of weight.

The only reason an organization might hire her would be because she's been on this show, but honestly, there's very little 'motivational' about her at this point. 

[Miss Ruth]

13 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

With three kids that age, life is a never ending cycle of laundry. Particularly with an infant. I don't blame her one bit for constantly having dirty laundry and clean clothes that don't make it back into a closet or dresser before they are back on the kid again.

I did it and kept a clean house while also doing all the yard work and planting and tending vegetable and flower gardens.  I'm not blaming her.  I just think she could do a better job of housekeeping especially when it's being seen by millions of people.  Maybe it's just the pride in me.  :)

12 hours ago, Snarkastikate said:

..did Dr  Now basically  tell her that as long as she's under 400 it's ok?

I heard him tell her that if she doesn't get her weight under control, she will soon be back to 400 pounds.  She kept insisting that would never happen. 

Edited April 27, 2018 by Miss Ruth

[Miss Ruth]

2 hours ago, aliya said:

It can be done. I'm sorry she's got her hands full, but she can take control of her house. She - and the kids - would be happier in an ordered house. If I walked into my house and saw piles of dirty (or even clean) laundry, I'd be depressed and feel overwhelmed. At the very least, move the clutter out of the living room and into the kids' rooms. Also, I wonder if piles like this are signs of too much stuff. If children didn't have more clothes than they need, there wouldn't be piles of laundry to do. I know that kids get dirty and may wear multiple shirts, etc. a day, but they don't need tons of stuff. Same thing with toys. Most of us have too many things. Then we complain when we get overwhelmed by the effort needed to manage them. 

 

[LuvMyShows]

On 4/26/2018 at 11:27 AM, IOU Payne said:

My 250-Pound Life isn't that compelling of a show.  Although Dr. Now's old-skool rapper outfit was awesome (and a shout-out to the brilliant poster in the Live Chat who gave him the hip-hop name of Lil Now-Now), it wasn't enough to keep my interest.  Especially when the tarpaulin skirt made its umpteenth appearance. So, I switched over to Jamie Oliver.

I laughed out loud when I read the "Lil Now-Now" name... I love it!!!!

On 4/26/2018 at 12:15 PM, Maricopa said:

Indeed, 150 is not underweight for almost any woman unless she's unusually tall; when I hit that # I started looking like Twitney's Pooh-on-the-beach photo. I'm 5'6 and it's 150 is 25 lbs. overweight for me, according to my MD (just got down to 137, yay)! I do not understand why Dr. Now would recommend weight gain unless someone is showing symptoms of anorexic-type eating disorders. Melissa did it once before, and I hope she can get back down to 150-ish. She looked quite good at that weight.

Hi Maricopa.  I'm no doctor, but if you are 5'6" and 150 lbs and a doctor is telling you that you need to get down to 125, then I would strongly urge you to not see that doctor anymore, or to at least have him/her explain why they want you to be so far to the low end of normal weight for your height.

On 4/26/2018 at 12:09 PM, Maricopa said:

It's nearly impossible to find motivational speaker gigs unless you are a public figure or have something unique to say, or a unique accomplishment. It's simply not a career for the vast majority of people who try it. 

I wonder if something was edited out of that meeting.  I think the woman gave good advice about starting out at churches and other local organizations.  It's too bad she also seemed to imply that earning a living from motivational speaking was a reasonable possibility for Melissa.  Maybe we missed all the context in-between.  

 

edited to add- sounds like she and Chris were done before baby 3 was conceived (makeup sex) so she was probably eating a lot due to depression/anxiety etc. given that she went through two previous pregnancies without gaining that kind of weight I bet it was due to emotional eating on Melissa’s part. 

Absolutely!!  I don't for a second believe that she gained 100 lbs from the pregnancy...I believe she gained 100 lbs during the pregnancy,

[dahling]

So, I have a confession to make.  Sometimes I have piles of laundry around my house.  It's definitely obvious that children live here. There is more clutter than I'm comfortable with, and  yet I don't do anything about it (usually). Sometimes I go days without putting on lipstick, eyeliner, or even doing much with my hair other than the time-honored "15-second mom ponytail" at 6:30 a.m.  I wear yoga pants all day, even though I don't do yoga.  I gained 70 lbs with each of my first two pregnancies and it was damn easy.  I lose weight, then gain weight, then lose weight again. I snack on things I shouldn't snack on, and then hate myself for it. I cannot create a mouth-watering variety of delicious meals out of Dr. Now-approved ingredients, nor can I create a Dr. Now-approved meal out of any ingredients from anywhere, including a convenience store.  I don't even want to.  And yet, my husband thinks I'm pretty groovy, as do my 3 children. They are happy in my less-than-perfect house with my less-than-perfect meals.  One day, I will die, and I hope my children's main memories of me are of love and fun and laughter, not how clean I did or didn't keep the house or if I wore lipstick at the right times.  Yes, my life is in better shape than Melissa's, but I AM NOT BETTER THAN MELISSA. Bless her heart, she is a flawed but genuine person who has the guts to let strangers take a peek into her life, the good, bad, and ugly.  (The flashback of her showing that weird dangling thing between her legs that Dr. Now was going to remove? Holy shit.)  Based on many of the comments here, I'm not sure such transparency is such a great idea, but she sure is brave.   

I really like the Try video by Cobie Callait.  Reading this thread reminds me why.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

They are happy in my less-than-perfect house with my less-than-perfect meals.  One day, I will die, and I hope my children's main memories of me are of love and fun and laughter, not how clean I did or didn't keep the house or if I wore lipstick at the right times. 

Preach sister. My kid is eating Chipotle right this very minute and there is a huge pile of laundry in the basement. My hair is in a ponytail and I haven't work makeup in well over a week. I'm wearing leggings. Also my 30 year high school reunion is in four hours. I'll put on a clean (and hopefully flattering dress), wear makeup and do something with my hair. But the people who matter most know, and don't care, that I don't look like this all (or even most of) the time.

Here's the thing. I love the snark - really I do. I'm entirely capable of cataclysmic levels of snark. But when I see someone like Melissa I remember that I can look at her (or anyone) in one of two ways. I can focus on how far she has come or I can focus on how far she still has to go to be perfect. For some reason, with her, I just feel much more strongly pulled to the former perspective than the latter.

Edited April 27, 2018 by Elizzikra

[Maricopa]

4 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

I'm no doctor, but if you are 5'6" and 150 lbs and a doctor is telling you that you need to get down to 125, then I would strongly urge you to not see that doctor anymore, or to at least have him/her explain why they want you to be so far to the low end of normal weight for your height.

Because I'm extremely small-boned. I weighed 110 most of my earlier life and still had a cute lil healthy-looking pooch. My whole family is boob-free, hipless, and short-waisted...my mom was 4'6 and looked healthy between 95-100 because she was so short -- there was virtually no torso, either. Really, I just had an unplanned hospital visit for gallstones and pretty much every doc who saw me said my extra lbs were negatively affecting my health. I once had a gym orientation where the trainer used calipers, said I was way too fat...and underweight! People are built wildly differently.

3 hours ago, dahling said:

Sometimes I go days without putting on lipstick, eyeliner, or even doing much with my hair other than the time-honored "15-second mom ponytail" at 6:30 a.m.  I wear yoga pants all day, even though I don't do yoga.

I don't have any kids and still do life this way! Honestly, I don't know how mom's do everything...I'm always in awe.

5 hours ago, Miss Ruth said:

I just think she could do a better job of housekeeping especially when it's being seen by millions of people. 

It could have been way worse before cleaning up for the filming. Those are pretty young kids, and a lot of them! And cleaning goes in concentric circles; just when you happily survey your newly-clean area, you see what a mess it still is.

[joh]

On ‎4‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 11:11 PM, dahling said:

I sympathize and empathize with her struggle. It’s real and the finish line is never.

However—

I cannot take seriously a motivational speaker who cries this much.

 

On ‎4‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 11:11 PM, dahling said:

I sympathize and empathize with her struggle. It’s real and the finish line is never.

However—

I cannot take seriously a motivational speaker who cries this much.

Me too!

21 hours ago, Snarkastikate said:

Those of us with weight issues know it's always a huge struggle,  the bad food is just so darned tasty!  Seriously, Melissa gained over 100 lbs and maybe I misunderstood but did Dr  Now basically  tell her that as long as she's under 400 it's ok?   Couldn't that be considered permission to go hog wild?   Hmmmm.  I think she and the philanderer hubby will be together forever, they need each other, and frankly they can't afford two homes.   And he won't stop doing his thing.   Please don't have any more kids you two, but I bet there's one more mouth to feed in a year or so.  Lordy she does cry a lot.  And gee she really had her dad with one foot in the grave,  wasn't even sure he'd make it til she got there to see him! Yikes!   But Dad looked somewhat ok, I know a few guys with CHF and COPD and dad there looked in far better shape, so hang in there dad.   And my friends have had it for many years.   Hope he has longer than his daughter thinks he does.   Final catty remark....... please wear longer tops  Melissa.   Would work wonders.    

Longer tops or a maxi dress.

[joh]

8 hours ago, Miss Ruth said:

I did it and kept a clean house while also doing all the yard work and planting and tending vegetable and flower gardens.  I'm not blaming her.  I just think she could do a better job of housekeeping especially when it's being seen by millions of people.  Maybe it's just the pride in me.  :)

I heard him tell her that if she doesn't get her weight under control, she will soon be back to 400 pounds.  She kept insisting that would never happen. 

She was trying to convince herself, not the Doctor.

On ‎4‎/‎26‎/‎2018 at 7:25 PM, Giant Misfit said:

You could be missing an extra 30 seconds of her luggage circling around the carousel at the airport. 

haha

[joh]

On ‎4‎/‎26‎/‎2018 at 8:49 AM, Jen Marie said:

She's definitely depressed. Hell, I'm getting depressed watching her.

hehe

[emma1420]

Not the most exciting episode.  I wish they would have combined it with another person.  But, I liked that they showed the long-term struggle, and that the emotional issues that these people deal with are life long.  

 

And i think like most people who get the surgery, that Melissa thought losing weight would solve her problems.  Instead it just exposed them more fully.  Unfortunately by that time her self-esteem had been beaten down so much that she thought that she deserved to be treated like crap.  She’s someone who I really hope develops more self-confidence, one because she seems like a good person and two because her three kids need to see a healthy level of self-confidence from one of their parents, and it isn’t going to be Chris.

 

I suspect that Melissa does need more emotional and physical help.  Chris seems like an absent parent, and I think it has to be overwhelming taking care of three kids when you are that emotionally fragile.  

[auntjess]

On 4/26/2018 at 6:25 AM, Giant Misfit said:

Also, this episode had no business being two hours. There was simply no story there to tell.

Yes, even if they'd tossed in another person, and hour would have done.

On 4/26/2018 at 11:20 AM, TurtlePower said:

It was sad to see her lose the traction she once had, but at least she's still mobile.

I agree, but wow, do we have low standards.

On 4/26/2018 at 9:35 AM, Giant Misfit said:

She's a human doormat who stayed in a shitty marriage for 20 years and is constantly looking for a "dream job" when she hasn't had gainful or meaningful employment her entire life or attempted to get any job training beyond spouting pseudo-motivational slogans she herself doesn't enact in her own life. 

I can't imagine paying to see a motivational speaker.  And yes for heaven sake, get at least a part time job, at least to interact with other adults, and pick up some money.

 

[aliya]

9 hours ago, sempervivum said:

This is where I have a problem seeing Melissa as a motivational speaker. Unless she gets back to a reasonable weight, why would anyone want to see her talk about her struggle? She looks pretty bad (and doesn't know how to dress), has a sweet but uninteresting personality, and doesn't seem very smart/funny or insightful. She did initially succeed, with a tremendous amount of help, but then made a ton of bad decisions, including re-gaining a lot of weight.

So maybe she would do better with a well-produced YouTube channel where she can have real segments (not just her in front of her monitor) where she makes a meal, goes clothes shopping or works with a store stylist, gets her face done, meets with some other WLS people every now and then to talk about the struggle? She can motivate people as she improves her situation and loses weight. I'd love to see her talk about feeding little kids if you have to eat differently, or not eating from their plates (it's hard, but throw the food away or put it right in the fridge. Don't interact with it.) as a lot of women do this. She'd get some presentation experience, maybe develop an appealing personality, learn what 'sells,' and then move on to being a motivational speaker. 

I don't know if we saw all of her meeting with the career planner, but the planner should have given her some homework,  like reading 'How to Win Friends and Influence People,' joining Toastmasters, watching videos from well-known speakers, male and female, and get a feeling for how it's done. I'm sure every community college has an intro public speaking class. If she wants this as a career, she's got to learn and work it just like people do in other careers. It's not going to fall into her lap. She needs a plan and she needs to work her plan. Otherwise, it's a dream. (There's a slogan for you, Melissa. Embroider that on a pillow.)

[aliya]

Good grief, people. I can't believe there is so much defensiveness over taking your laundry out of the living room when you don't work and a national TV program is coming to your house to film. I don't know if they had a play area for the kids or not, so perhaps some toys in the living room are understandable (I don't, but others might), but for crying out loud, put the clothes away and take the stuff from around the front door! Tell Chris people are coming and you need his help, for once, to pick up the yard. 

Maybe she needs more storage? : )  We've seen people on Hoarders who sleep on bare mattresses. Maybe she's just not that great at organizing her home life?

I'll add this -- while folks were looking at her messy house, I was watching her interactions with her daughter. They look close (not unusual at the daughter's age), but if Melissa doesn't get a handle on her emotions and how she's going to handle 3 kids by herself, she runs the risk of using the daughter as a companion and husband substitute. While I would expect the child to help around the house a bit, there's a limit. Past that, and she could use the girl as a little maid -like the mother did who had the daughter cooking for all the boys. Melissa wouldn't be the first single mom to go down that path with a child. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, aliya said:

So maybe she would do better with a well-produced YouTube channel where she can have real segments (not just her in front of her monitor) where she makes a meal, goes clothes shopping or works with a store stylist, gets her face done, meets with some other WLS people every now and then to talk about the struggle? 

This is an excellent idea that Melissa could very easily implement. Plus, it would allow her to stay home and be with her children since that appears to be the only thing she really desires. But this also requires motivation to start up -- and I don't see Melissa having the interest or energy in doing it. Maybe she should could start by watching motivational videos to become motivated about becoming a motivational speaker?

[Snarkastikate]

Let's be honest.  Even if she were able to do a few motivational speaking gigs here and there,  is this really a viable means of helping to support a family?   She's got a newborn,  a toddler and a young child.  Who would watch the kids while she's at  the occasional gig?  Doesn't hubby/ex-hubby work?   And there's always seems  to be a reason she can't be happy,  but these things can all be described as "life".   Her dream was to have kids and I'm sure she's a great mom, but she's depressed and cries a real lot,  and that's not good, you can't hide that from kids.   God forbid one of her kids gets very sick,  or when her dad passes away, or a tornado hits,  or whatever?   Yes life sucks a lot.   Her husband is a creeper,  but he's always been one and she's stayed with him and gotten pregnant 3 times.  She obviously figured she'd be the mom and he'd be the provider.  Best of luck to Melissa. 

[dahling]

1 hour ago, aliya said:

Good grief, people. I can't believe there is so much defensiveness over taking your laundry out of the living room when you don't work and a national TV program is coming to your house to film. 

And I can’t believe (truly) how much holier-than-thou judgment and gratuitous self-congratulation is going on over a lady who on a scale of 1-to-Schenee is about a -2.

[StitchPunk]

4 hours ago, aliya said:

Good grief, people. I can't believe there is so much defensiveness over taking your laundry out of the living room when you don't work and a national TV program is coming to your house to film. I don't know if they had a play area for the kids or not, so perhaps some toys in the living room are understandable (I don't, but others might), but for crying out loud, put the clothes away and take the stuff from around the front door! Tell Chris people are coming and you need his help, for once, to pick up the yard. 

Finally someone said it! Most people would probably clean up a little if they knew a television crew was coming over and people would see everything. People can love and take care of their kids while also keeping their house clean. Or at least clean it when they have company, especially when it means their house will be on television. Even just putting things in another room if they don't want to actually clean. 

[Miss Ruth]

4 hours ago, aliya said:

Good grief, people. I can't believe there is so much defensiveness over taking your laundry out of the living room when you don't work and a national TV program is coming to your house to film. I don't know if they had a play area for the kids or not, so perhaps some toys in the living room are understandable (I don't, but others might), but for crying out loud, put the clothes away and take the stuff from around the front door! Tell Chris people are coming and you need his help, for once, to pick up the yard. 

Hear!  Hear!

[frenchtoast]

Snark the show, not posters. Agree to disagree. Talk about Melissa, not each other.

[CoachWristletJen]

20 hours ago, Miss Ruth said:

I did it and kept a clean house while also doing all the yard work and planting and tending vegetable and flower gardens.  I'm not blaming her.  I just think she could do a better job of housekeeping especially when it's being seen by millions of people.  Maybe it's just the pride in me.  :)

I heard him tell her that if she doesn't get her weight under control, she will soon be back to 400 pounds.  She kept insisting that would never happen. 

What's  that insurance commercial where the guy's car gets broken into or whatever, and the other guy says, "Oh it's happening, sweetheart."

I think if she meets with Dr. Now and stays in therapy they can keep her in the 200 range or even go lower.

I agree with what's been said. There's not much of a future in motivational speaking for her or anyone, but she can get the occasional gig and people would come to hear what she had to say. Roll Schenee in there next to her and Melissa is a raving success story -- especially after so many years. She may have a lot of laundry all over her house, but Penny couldn't pick up a laundry basket off the floor if she tried.