Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[DeLurker]

All people from the past - be it Colonial times or the 1930s - have beautiful cursive handwriting.  There aren't any mistakes nor smudged ink, despite using a quill or older style writing instrument.

[ganesh]

Oh, the best part? The bride (who invited me) was a former "friend."

[FormerMod-a1]

Wow.  That's a long time between ceremony and reception.  Most of the ones I've been to, the reception is immediately after the ceremony; of course, few of those were more than a few minutes apart, distance-wise.

 

If it's a church service that starts anywhere from 12n-2pm and you have a dinner reception, there's going to be time in between.  I mean, there's not going to be dinner at 3pm.  It doesn't matter how near or far the venues are from each other.  This time is often busy for the bridal party, or at least it has been when I've been a bridesmaid, with pictures* and some other things (I'm blanking right now).  When I've been a just a guest, we often go get drinks somewhere between.  There are often even suggestions on where to go to relax a little or where to get drinks.  This is especially helpful for "out of towners" but also helpful for others, as it gives you an idea where other people may be and you can all hang out together.  Or I suppose avoid each other, too.  :-P  

 

*ETA: not all the pictures, the standard pics are often done before the wedding, and during.  But there's often extra pictures like at gazebos or outside or where ever else they want.

[Demented Daisy]

My (very rich) friend got married at a winery where the ceremony and reception were right at the same place. They even chartered a bus for us so we could drink. And did we. 

 

I got married (and had the reception) at our favorite Italian restaurant.  Incredibly efficient.  20 years later, we're still married, so I'm obligated to encourage others to follow our example.  ;-)

[shapeshifter]

Wow. That's a long time between ceremony and reception. Most of the ones I've been to, the reception is immediately after the ceremony; of course, few of those were more than a few minutes apart, distance-wise.

The hours between usually include professionally staged pictures of the immediate family--at least in my limited experience.

I've seen the wedding photo shoot as comedy fodder on TV, even though in real life when stuff goes wrong, nobody's laughing--but that's true generally of comedy.

Edited March 28, 2016 by shapeshifter

[janie jones]

I've been to weddings that range from the reception and ceremony being in literally the same spot (as in the guests have to go have cocktails in another area so the chairs can be rearranged and the tables brought in) to the two being in two spaces in the same location, to being in two separate places entirely.  But I've never been to a wedding (that I know of) where the same people weren't invited to the ceremony and reception.  The only exception would be people who had a teensy courthouse ceremony and then a normal reception later.  I've never really paid attention to how it works on TV though.  Other than only the regular cast attends either.

[Raja]

I guess I never went to churches which were open like that.  Only exclusive ones, lol.  (Actually they were closed to the general public whenever there were limited events like weddings and baptisms, but otherwise they were open, I guess.)

The particularly large church with the worldwide head in Rome tends to hold daily masses where they have the staff to do so. And if each member of the couple are part of the church then they are supposed to be married in the church. The extra ladies are just your normal mass attendees but there is also a nuptial mass going on concurrently 

[ohjoy]

This is an interesting conversation. I've seen several variations on wedding/reception locations and invites. Where I'm from, the most typical is to have the ceremony and the reception on the same property (though usually in different rooms/buildings to reduce wait time for guests), with the same invitee guest list. But have been to weddings where the ceremony and the reception where at different locations and/or times; one friend actually had a ceremony/tiny reception for family and close friends (bride and groom came from large families, so that was still 80 people), and then did a full reception for everyone two weeks later after their honeymoon. I often see a smaller ceremony locale that requires a smaller guest list for the ceremony than the reception, so there are some people who are invited to the reception but not the ceremony -- I've never seen the reverse though (with fewer people invited to the reception than the ceremony).

 

Basically, I think that however you want to structure your wedding ceremony/reception, go for it. I've seen a fairly wide variety.

[Ceindreadh]

In my (albeit limited) experience, there's three parts to a wedding. 

First is the ceremony - religious or civil - then there's the reception, usually with a full meal and then a band afterwards. 

 

And then there's what we'd call the 'afters' which is usually another party in the evening with maybe a buffet or finger food and a disco. 

Guests will usually be invited to the whole day - close friends and family - or just the 'afters' - more distant relatives/friends and people you just want a wedding present from  ;-)

[Shannon L.]

All New Year's Eve parties fancy ones that consist of champagne and people dressed in their best party dresses and suits.  No one is ever hanging out with friends wearing jeans, eating pizza and drinking beer (or something equally quick and easy).

[proserpina65]

If it's a church service that starts anywhere from 12n-2pm and you have a dinner reception, there's going to be time in between.  I mean, there's not going to be dinner at 3pm.

 

There was at most of the weddings I've been to, and both of the ones I was in.  Yeah, the wedding party spent about a half hour at the most having pictures taken and then it was "Let's eat!".  I'm just talking about my personal wedding experience, which tend to run to semi-formal at the fanciest and were all afternoon weddings with receptions in the adjacent church hall or a nearby fire company banquet hall.  Fanciest wedding reception I've ever been to was at a country club, and that was still only about an hour after the afternoon ceremony to allow for driving time, and it was a full sit-down dinner.  In fact, I've never been to a reception that wasn't a full dinner, regardless of the time of day.  Mind you, they were all buffet style.

 

So, to be on topic, I suspect tv shows tend to only show either very formal weddings with fancy receptions, or cake in the backyard type things rather than the very broad range of wedding/reception styles which people have in real life.

I got married (and had the reception) at our favorite Italian restaurant.  Incredibly efficient.  20 years later, we're still married, so I'm obligated to encourage others to follow our example.  ;-)

My brother got married in the banquet hall of our local fire company and had the reception in the same hall.  Turn around time, 20 minutes max.  No, he wasn't a fire fighter; it was just a heck of a lot cheaper, and neither he nor his fiancée were religious at the time.

[ganesh]

f it's a church service that starts anywhere from 12n-2pm and you have a dinner reception, there's going to be time in between.  I mean, there's not going to be dinner at 3pm.

 

An Italian wedding would. And it would start at ten. And you'd be in church *forever*.

 

Also, everyone turns their car radio off.

[StatisticalOutlier]

Only on TV, the nighttime city skyline is beautiful because of the lights left on in the office buildings, but the one office in which somebody is actually working is lit solely by a 5-watt bulb in a bankers light on the desk.

[ZuluQueenOfDwarves]

proserpina65 are you from Pennsylvania? I've never heard of a wedding reception in a fire company hall anywhere but here. My best friend is from Wisconsin, and she said it was the thing about PA she found oddest.

[proserpina65]

proserpina65 are you from Pennsylvania? I've never heard of a wedding reception in a fire company hall anywhere but here. My best friend is from Wisconsin, and she said it was the thing about PA she found oddest.

Maryland, but about 10 minutes from the PA line.  It's not uncommon here.  The local fire companies all have banquet halls they rent out for events, as do the VFWs and the American Legions in the area.  It's part of how they raise money for the operating costs - with the exception of the VA hospital's company, they're all volunteer companies, and there's not a lot of government funding.  It's a small rural county, so a lot of the churches don't have very large facilities for receptions and such.  It is somewhat unusual to hold the wedding at the fire hall, although members of the fire companies have done it from time to time.

[merylinkid]

Maryland also here, we hold our Annual Lion's Charter Night at the local fire hall.   It's inexpensive and really really really good food (the ladies from the FD make it).  

 

Topic:    I have yet to see a cop on tv do a search in compliance with the 4th Amendment.   Of course, they don't always get it righ in real life either.   But on tv, it's always thrown out, while in real life, even the Supreme Court bends over backwards to find ways to justify it.   

[proserpina65]

Maryland also here, we hold our Annual Lion's Charter Night at the local fire hall.   It's inexpensive and really really really good food (the ladies from the FD make it).  

 

Topic:    I have yet to see a cop on tv do a search in compliance with the 4th Amendment.   Of course, they don't always get it righ in real life either.   But on tv, it's always thrown out, while in real life, even the Supreme Court bends over backwards to find ways to justify it.   

They also rarely stop questioning a suspect when he/she asks for an attorney.  On some shows that gets a confession thrown out, but on certain ones it never does.

[dalek]

When it's not a medical show, when a woman given birth not in a hospital, there's never an afterbirth.  So apparently the lack of medical equipment causes the placenta to be magically reabsorbed.

[cpcathy]

Well, on every show I've seen, women deliver three month olds, so maybe that has something to do with it!

[shapeshifter]

Is it Only On TV that an innocent friend, relative, or lover of the murder victim will, upon discovering the murdered body of a loved one, pick up the gun, knife, or other weapon, thus insuring that the detectives will put the loved one at the top of the suspect list?

[zxy556575]

[Police] also rarely stop questioning a suspect when he/she asks for an attorney. On some shows that gets a confession thrown out, but on certain ones it never does.

 

It's always, "No problem, we'll get you an attorney. But I do have one question ..."

 

Unfortunately I think that may be one TV stereotype that actually happens more in real life, if any of the multitude of Dateline episodes about false coerced confessions are to be believed.

[Raja]

Only on TV do helicopter pilots fly from the left seat like airplane pilots instead of the right seat because of the way the controls of a helicopter are laid out. But then with the actual pilot in the right seat digitally removed we can have the actor in the left seat.

[ChromaKelly]

Maryland, but about 10 minutes from the PA line.  It's not uncommon here.  The local fire companies all have banquet halls they rent out for events, as do the VFWs and the American Legions in the area.  It's part of how they raise money for the operating costs - with the exception of the VA hospital's company, they're all volunteer companies, and there's not a lot of government funding.  It's a small rural county, so a lot of the churches don't have very large facilities for receptions and such.  It is somewhat unusual to hold the wedding at the fire hall, although members of the fire companies have done it from time to time.

Woot! Maryland represent! Wondering if you're near me but don't want to be a stalker. Carroll Co?

When it's not a medical show, when a woman given birth not in a hospital, there's never an afterbirth.  So apparently the lack of medical equipment causes the placenta to be magically reabsorbed.

Or you think it's the afterbirth, but it's really twins!!!

[ChromaKelly]

One thing that's bugging the crap out of me lately on TV is the whiteness and perfectness of everyone's teeth. Can we just have natural teeth? They look so out of place especially in anything that's supposed to take place before 1990.

[Shannon L.]

Only on tv is every woman able to do their hair in a way that looks like they just walked out of the beauty salon (unless it's supposed to be messy for a character or situation). 

 

In addition to my previous post about New Year's Eve:  Only on tv can everyone stay awake for the stroke of midnight.  I'm only 47 and I haven't made it to midnight in years.

Edited April 3, 2016 by Shannon L.

[ABay]

Unless it was a very bad year and I'm staying up to make sure it ends, I go to bed at my usual time on New Year's Eve.

[shapeshifter]

Unless it was a very bad year and I'm staying up to make sure it ends, I go to bed at my usual time on New Year's Eve.

I guess I should've stayed up until midnight this past year. Now I know. Edited April 3, 2016 by shapeshifter

[ABay]

It's like going to the funeral to make sure the bastard's dead.

[Quof]

Only on TV does every couple sleep in a double bed.   In real life, there's no way Mike and Molly would have survived one night in anything smaller than a queen, and that would have been snug.

[zxy556575]

The boss commands it

 

Whenever an urgent task (usually technical/scientific) must be completed, the boss asks the underling how long it will take:

 

"10 hours."

"Do it in two."

 

And it always gets done in time.

Edited April 3, 2016 by lordonia

[kassygreene]

The Stargate SG-1 Season 1 episode Solitudes (#18) provides what I think is the only example of this where the boss don't get his way:  the Stargate has been damaged, the General asks for the estimated repair time, the Sergeant in charge (Siler, and I believe pre-giant wrench) replies 24 hours, the General says I'll give you 12, and Siler (a mere sergeant) tells the General (his commanding officer) "No sir, it doesn't work that way."  The General, being the smart kind of general, says ok, I'll leave you to it.

 

Solitudes is an excellent episode, but I fell in love with both of these characters and the writers for that exchange.  I even used it a few times myself.

[spaceytraci1208]

Only on TV does every couple sleep in a double bed. In real life, there's no way Mike and Molly would have survived one night in anything smaller than a queen, and that would have been snug.

Yes, they never looked comfortable in the scenes with them in bed. Doug and Carrie on King of Queens had a good sized bed, if I recall correctly

[cpcathy]

I guess there's no reason to put an actual King size in a room on TV, but sometimes it just looks absurd. Doug and Carrie's was okay, but Ray and Debra's on Everybody Loves Raymond was teeny. Their bedroom was also the worst decorated I've ever seen on TV!

[zxy556575]

I guess there's no reason to put an actual King size in a room on TV, but sometimes it just looks absurd. Doug and Carrie's was okay, but Ray and Debra's on Everybody Loves Raymond was teeny. Their bedroom was also the worst decorated I've ever seen on TV!

 

I'll offer Roseanne and Dan Conner as contenders, both for bed size and room decor.

Edited April 4, 2016 by lordonia

[Sandman87]

Only on TV can one work in large computer data centers, big rooms covering acres of ground and having hundreds of mainframes, without needing hearing protection. In fact, they're always eerily quiet.

 

I've been in data centers a few times. Suckers are loud, like being in a heavy metal concert put on by giant bees.

[ABay]

These might happen in real life but I run in the wrong circles to know for sure:

1. When engaging assistance for shady business, always rip a wad of bills in half and tell the associate they'll receive the other half when the job is done.

2. When you're wearing a bullet-proof vest and you're shot in the chest, always rip open your shirt to display vest and slugs.

Edited April 4, 2016 by ABay

[shapeshifter]

Only on TV can one work in large computer data centers, big rooms covering acres of ground and having hundreds of mainframes, without needing hearing protection. In fact, they're always eerily quiet.

 

I've been in data centers a few times. Suckers are loud, like being in a heavy metal concert put on by giant bees.

Now that you mention it, the same is true for basements or top floors that house functioning heating and cooling equipment--often the scene of perp chases and arrests or murders. Maybe we're supposed to assume they're wearing those little foam ear plugs?

[kili]

"10 hours."

"Do it in two."

 

That happens in real life too. Managers thinks that it motivates you. I loved Scotty explaining to Jordie on Star Trek (TNG) that he should pad the numbers because how else do you look like a miracle worker? Sometimes, though, one can shorten the duration by hacking a fix and going back later to put in a proper fix. If somebody is going to die or the spaceship is going to be blown up by Romulans, one has to MacGyver up whatever gets you out of the situation.

 

Only on TV, if the technicians refuse to fix the system in time to avoid the crisis,  there is always  a way for the heroes to have an adventure and save the day anyway. When the heros get back to the office/ship/spacestation after saving the day,  the technicians will be just completing the fix.

[proserpina65]

I'll offer Roseanne and Dan Conner as contenders, both for bed size and room decor.

When Roseanne was on the air, queen and king sized beds were less common.  So it's not surprising that they had a double.

Woot! Maryland represent! Wondering if you're near me but don't want to be a stalker. Carroll Co?

 

Woo hoo, I have a stalker!  :-)

 

Cecil County, just about in the corner between PA and DE.

[Shannon L.]

"10 hours."

    "Do it in two."

 

That happens in real life too. Managers thinks that it motivates you. I loved Scotty explaining to Jordie on Star Trek (TNG) that he should pad the numbers because how else do you look like a miracle worker?

I hate this.  When I watch Master Chef (and when I used to watch Hell's Kitchen), someone would say that the food would be done in 8 minutes and Ramsey would scream "I want it now!".  I always want someone to yell back "Well, if I can figure out how to change the laws of physics, I'll get it to you now!". 

[proserpina65]

I hate this.  When I watch Master Chef (and when I used to watch Hell's Kitchen), someone would say that the food would be done in 8 minutes and Ramsey would scream "I want it now!".  I always want someone to yell back "Well, if I can figure out how to change the laws of physics, I'll get it to you now!". 

Then, of course, the customer would complain that his/her food was underdone, and Ramsey would scream about that too.

[ganesh]

The scene on the ocean/cliff/Vast Setting where the protagonist stands alone and throws their badge/hat/gloves/Thing That Defined Them away because That's Not Who They Are Anymore.

[zxy556575]

On the web series Hello Cupid one of the characters was using her laptop on her lap. Not only was it plugged in but she'd put it on top of a thin book so it didn't roast her thighs! Either she really was online or that was some nice verisimilitude.

[ChromaKelly]

I hate this.  When I watch Master Chef (and when I used to watch Hell's Kitchen), someone would say that the food would be done in 8 minutes and Ramsey would scream "I want it now!".  I always want someone to yell back "Well, if I can figure out how to change the laws of physics, I'll get it to you now!". 

As much as I love Chopped, I do wish they would give more time for the entree portion of the competition. Nobody wants to see people eating underdone pork or chicken, especially when they are given like an entire wild boar to dress before cooking.

[MaryPatShelby]

On the web series Hello Cupid one of the characters was using her laptop on her lap. Not only was it plugged in but she'd put it on top of a thin book so it didn't roast her thighs! Either she really was online or that was some nice verisimilitude.

I am using my laptop on my lap right now, and always.  Is this something we're not supposed to do, like keeping the car radio on?  Ack!

[zxy556575]

I am using my laptop on my lap right now, and always. Is this something we're not supposed to do, like keeping the car radio on?  Ack!

 

Nah! I missed the car radio discussion (thankfully, from what I've gathered) but some laptops can run pretty hot and it gets uncomfortable to have them resting on bare skin or thin slacks, is all.

[ganesh]

Putting the laptop actually on your lap gives you cancer. 

[Shannon L.]

Only on tv can someone with a spinal cord injury that has caused paralysis get up and start walking (and walking well!) as soon as they start getting movement in their legs again.

[shapeshifter]

Only on tv can someone with a spinal cord injury that has caused paralysis get up and start walking (and walking well!) as soon as they start getting movement in their legs again.

And since Only On TV is it common for someone in a wheelchair to be faking it, it makes it that much easier for the audience to accept instant walking as the norm for actually paralyzed wheelchair-bound characters.

[topanga]

Only on tv can someone with a spinal cord injury that has caused paralysis get up and start walking (and walking well!) as soon as they start getting movement in their legs again.

And that great walk often happens after a montage of physical therapy (a short course, though)