Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[Shannon L.]

 

You probably know this, but just in case -- that's because it's mashed potatoes or shortening rather than ice cream (because of the heat of the studio lights and time it takes to film).

I didn't know that.  I figured it was the heat from the lights softening it up.  Thanks for that bit of trivia :)

[andromeda331]

If your nine months pregnant and go to the bank it will be robbed and turned into a hostage situation, if you board a plane it will crash, if you get into an elevator it will get stuck. 

[ToxicUnicorn]

If your nine months pregnant and

 

Yes, and you will be perky and your hair will be perfect and you will have put your fancy shoes on all by yourself.

[Moose135]

...if you get into an elevator it will get stuck. 

 

This may belong in an "I watch too much TV thread" but I refuse to get in an elevator with a pregnant woman.

[DittyDotDot]

If your nine months pregnant and go to the bank it will be robbed and turned into a hostage situation, if you board a plane it will crash, if you get into an elevator it will get stuck. 

 

Not to worry, pregnant gals out there, there will always be someone available to catch that baby when it drops!

 

Non-pregnant folks: stuff your money under their mattresses or bury it in the front yard; drive or walk everywhere; and always take the stairs. It'll save you a lot of headache!

[Snowprince]

While the Vietnamese tank drove through the US Embassy gates in 1975 US soldiers in Vietnam were gone by 1972. There were fewer still around then we have trainers in Iraq today. there was the one Marine company team in the Mayaguez incident in 1975. I suppose entertainment producers would jump on that one fight to give their characters a few more buffer years like they did when they had Korean veterans instead of WWII veterans and now use Afghanistan veterans instead of Iraq veterans.

I'm 63 and arrived at MCAF Marble Mountain in 1970 at 18. Was 23 for Operation Frequent Wind and the Mayaguez Incident. The majority of Vietnam Veterans are closer to 70 than 60, but Mantegna's character falls in the right age range. I can't speak for the FBI, but LAPD didn't have a mandatory retirement age when I left. 

[Raja]

I'm 63 and arrived at MCAF Marble Mountain in 1970 at 18. Was 23 for Operation Frequent Wind and the Mayaguez Incident. The majority of Vietnam Veterans are closer to 70 than 60, but Mantegna's character falls in the right age range. I can't speak for the FBI, but LAPD didn't have a mandatory retirement age when I left.

Federal law enforcement retirement age is 57 with a limited authority to make exceptions to 65.

[ToxicUnicorn]

Not to worry, pregnant gals out there, there will always be someone available to catch that baby when it drops!

 

Yes, and don't worry if there is a swell of music right before the baby cries.  That's normal.

[ChromaKelly]

I'm stunned at so many people who don't turn off their radios. 

In my minivan, the radio will stay on after I shut the engine off until I open the door. I thought something was wrong with it the first time I drove it. Had to Google. No, I don't turn my radio off when I turn the car off. Never have. I do turn the AC and wipers off, because I don't like a blast of hot air to greet me and I hate the wipers being stuck in the middle of the windshield. My husband does none of this turning off. He also leaves the volume up on the radio because he listens to podcasts streamed from his phone and the volume needs to be turned up louder than the regular radio.

[Shannon L.]

 

In my minivan, the radio will stay on after I shut the engine off until I open the door. I thought something was wrong with it the first time I drove it. Had to Google.

lol!  Same thing here when I got my new car :)  I've never turned anything off except the wipers, but I do turn the radio down after being in trouble more than once with my parents for whenever they got in the car and were greeted with the radio blasting.

[andromeda331]

I'm 63 and arrived at MCAF Marble Mountain in 1970 at 18.

 

My dad arrived in Vietnam a year before at 18.

[andromeda331]

The murderer is about to get away with his crime, the police don't suspected or he or she may

have successfully framed someone else for it. But then the police call asking them to come down to....dots some Is and cross some Ts. Just a couple simply questions no biggie.  For some

reason the murderer doesn't find that at all suspicious so he or she goes to the police station

because surely nothing could go bad, they don't even need to bring their lawyer or even call

them to tell them. Then shocked to find themselves arrested for murder.

Edited July 4, 2015 by andromeda331

[Kromm]

The murderer is about to get away with his crime, the police don't suspected or he or she may

have successfully framed someone else for it. But then the police call asking them to come down to....dots some Is and cross some Ts. Just a couple simply questions no biggie.  For some

reason the murderer doesn't find that at all suspicious so he or she goes to the police station

because surely nothing could go bad, they don't even need to bring their lawyer or even call

them to tell them. Then shocked to find themselves arrested for murder.

I'm curious. What show(s) has this happened on?

[Raja]

The murderer is about to get away with his crime, the police don't suspected or he or she may

have successfully framed someone else for it. But then the police call asking them to come down to....dots some Is and cross some Ts. Just a couple simply questions no biggie.  For some

reason the murderer doesn't find that at all suspicious so he or she goes to the police station

because surely nothing could go bad, they don't even need to bring their lawyer or even call

them to tell them. Then shocked to find themselves arrested for murder.

 

I'm curious. What show(s) has this happened on?

Sounds like The Closer/Major Crimes, except for the police don't suspect him in most cases. The detectives will proceed to read them their rights without actually reading them or try to con the suspect that it is a routine done for all witnesses.

Edited July 5, 2015 by Raja

[shapeshifter]

Hasn't it been done on the L&O and CSI franchises too?

[andromeda331]

Yes, its been done on most crime shows. The murderer may think they got rid of all the evidence to their crime, they've covered all their bases, they've anticipated everything the cops are going to do. They've watched crime shows they know how it works. But somehow don't find it at all suspicious when the police call and ask them to come down to the station for something simple. Obviously, the police don't want to tip their hand that their onto the murderer so they'll say its about paperwork or something very innocent sounding, but why the murderer who supposedly anticipated everything doesn't seem to think, well maybe that was a ruse to get them to come down.

[Kromm]

Yes, its been done on most crime shows. The murderer may think they got rid of all the evidence to their crime, they've covered all their bases, they've anticipated everything the cops are going to do. They've watched crime shows they know how it works. But somehow don't find it at all suspicious when the police call and ask them to come down to the station for something simple. Obviously, the police don't want to tip their hand that their onto the murderer so they'll say its about paperwork or something very innocent sounding, but why the murderer who supposedly anticipated everything doesn't seem to think, well maybe that was a ruse to get them to come down.

Yeah, but the original post specifically said that the police didn't suspect this person at all.

 

the police don't suspected or he or she may have successfully framed someone else for it

That's totally different from a scenario where as you say the police are hiding their hand and trying to entrap the murderer into revealing himself based on the murderer thinking he's in the clear.

[Kromm]

That element of the police on a dramatic TV show totally just stumbling into a reveal is what I was dubious about having actually been used enough to be an "only on TV" cliche level thing. Actually I suspect it happens in real life more than TV (the reverse of the idea of this topic). 

 

On TV shows, I suppose there are cases where the Detectives have an "aha!" moment when someone slips up in an interview.  But usually the interviews on TV shows are more about CAUSING people to slip up rather than it being a happy accident.

[mansonlamps]

Only on TV does everyone eat their chips out of a bowl instead of the bag. I'm talking when watching TV, not for a party. What if you don't pour the right amount, do you throw them away or put them back in the bag? And if you put them back in the bag, doesn't that defeat the purpose?

I'm watching The Middle right now where this is happening and am reminded of how much this bugs me.

[DittyDotDot]

Yeah, why would you dirty a dish you just had to wash later?

[lucindabelle]

You're right, I don't think I've ever poured chips into a bowl when I'm eating them at home. Not even once. Good catch!

[ganesh]

Actually, I do that. But a small ish bowl. I used to have a lot of friends over in high school, and we'd put chips into a couple of bowls while we watched tv. 

[Joe]

I always eat chips out of a bowl, and put pizza on a plate.

[Moose135]

What if you don't pour the right amount, do you throw them away or put them back in the bag? And if you put them back in the bag, doesn't that defeat the purpose?

 

Like there will be any left to put back in the bag...

[Rick Kitchen]

You people probably eat ice cream out of a bowl, too.  :D

[Kromm]

Pretzels kind of only work dumped straight into your palm.

 

Chips (especially flavored ones with lots of icky "dust" on them) not so much.

[Snow Apple]

I pour chips (and pretzels and popcorn) on a paper towel. No washing afterwards. Eating out of the bag is too awkward for me.

[ToxicUnicorn]

Chips (especially flavored ones with lots of icky "dust" on them) not so much.

Icky dust is my absolute favorite snack.

 

Staying with the food theme, is it "only on tv" that someone has nothing in their refrigerator but beer and mustard?  You would never catch me without at least part of a stick of butter, as well.

[Kromm]

Staying with the food theme, is it "only on tv" that someone has nothing in their refrigerator but beer and mustard?  You would never catch me without at least part of a stick of butter, as well.

Many people probably have years old condiments, where if you actually opened them, they'd likely smell a bit funny.  Something which I suppose you occasionally see happen on TV, but probably less than in real life.  On TV if it's not fodder for a joke, you don't see something like fridges needing a nice cleaning out.

[kiddo82]

Except on Friends when Joey broke his fridge.

[mansonlamps]

I'm sitting here watching T.V. eating Skinny Pop right out of the bag, I feel like an animal!

Edited July 8, 2015 by mansonlamps

[paulvdb]

On TV there are three types of fridges: the almost completely empty fridge, the fridge full of stuff that is so old that it'll walk out when you open the door and the fridge with only fresh products.

In the latter case there will be an empty milk carton in the fridge because people on TV put those back in the fridge when they've emptied it. And the next person who wants to drink milk will also put it back in the fridge when they notice that it's empty.

[topanga]

On TV there are three types of fridges: the almost completely empty fridge, the fridge full of stuff that is so old that it'll walk out when you open the door and the fridge with only fresh products.

Yes, and the "healthy" fridge will be full of fruits and vegatables that don't need to be refrigerated, e.g. whole pineapples. A pineapple, Gus?

 

A funny fridge gag: on Black-ish, the teenaged son had a white friend over, and the friend asked Dre (the dad) for a grape soda. Dre got upset that Zach assumed all black people drink grape soda. Zach opened the fridge and pulled out... you got it, a grape soda. A total TV moment, but very funny.

Edited July 8, 2015 by topanga

[Pollock]

Is it only on TV that people let the fridge open for an entire discussion?

It drives me crazy. Last culprit: Wayward Pines. The fridge stay opened for 5 minutes. Not TV 5 minutes but real life five minutes, during the whole freaking scene. I felt planet Earth dying during that time and I'm not even super conscious about environment (shame on me). And they didn't even need the light, the ceiling lamps were on.

[Popples]

I can't remember what show it was, but I remember someone pulling an entire unwrapped sandwich, on a plate, out of a fridge. Like on a hoagie roll with lettuce, tomatoes, and the works and it was perfect, not smushed or anything. It even had a toothpick in the top. I haven't seen it in a long time, but it still bugs me.

[topanga]

Keeping with the food theme...

 

Whenever a man cooks, he's either a master chef, e.g. Laura's boyfriend on "The Mysteries of Laura," or he's utterly incompetent, with sphagetti sauce on the walls and multiple pots boiling over on the stove.

[ganesh]

Seriously. What's in all those boiling pots? I cook every night and only boil pasta. 

 

I ate chips out of the bag tonight. I hope you people are happy. 

 

Only on tv when someone gets Really Angry, they shove everything off their desk.

[Rick Kitchen]

Only on tv when someone gets Really Angry, they shove everything off their desk.

 

Except for when they shove everything off their desk so they can have sex on it.

[ganesh]

Ah. Anger results in equipment being destroyed. Desk sex only has papers and office stuff flying around. 

[yourpointis]

Ah. Anger results in equipment being destroyed. Desk sex only has papers and office stuff flying around. 

 

I'd almost be willing to let someone have sex on my desk if it would lead to it finally getting cleaned off. The papers never stop piling up. I will go stand in the corner now. 

[BatmanBeatles]

Keeping with the food theme...

 

Whenever a man cooks, he's either a master chef, e.g. Laura's boyfriend on "The Mysteries of Laura," or he's utterly incompetent, with sphagetti sauce on the walls and multiple pots boiling over on the stove.

There is also the sound of multiple pots crashing to the floor.

[ganesh]

People throwing cell phones. They just fling them all over the place.

[mansonlamps]

I ate chips out of the bag tonight. I hope you people are happy. 

Ahh but I bet you were also pretty happy when you didn't have that extra bowl to wash or take up room in the dishwasher.

[ganesh]

I am the dishwasher!

 

I only did it because there wasn't many chips left and I wanted to truthfully post here that I ate chips out of the bag. 

[shapeshifter]

I'm all out of chips, but I did put some sunflower seeds on a napkin instead of in a bowl. For you guys. And I did eat them in front of the TV.

And only on TV can someone make the 4 hour 37 minute road trip from Manhattan to Lake Placid, NY in less than an hour (Beauty and the Beast episode airing now).

Edited July 10, 2015 by shapeshifter

[Kromm]

People throwing cell phones. They just fling them all over the place.

Except Naomi Campbell really did it!

[proserpina65]

Which leads me to...only on TV are all cheerleaders bitches who run the whole school and it's every girls' dream to be one of those bitches.

 

They might not have been bitches who run the school when I was in high school, but they were definitely cooler than the rest of us (even the wrestling cheerleaders) and a lot of us uncool girls wanted to be one.  And they wore their uniforms for in-school pep rallies on Fridays during football and basketball season.

[proserpina65]

You start the car in the morning and the radio automatically blares on? I highly doubt that.

 

A lot of people I know leave their radio on and turn it off by shutting off the ignition; it's hardly unusual.  I don't do it, but my best friend actually does with her cassette deck - yes, we are old, get off our lawns!

[Gudzilla]

Only on TV does every burning building have an unattended child still in it. I mean there was a kid in a burning tent on Under the Dome last night.

[MaryPatShelby]

A lot of people I know leave their radio on and turn it off by shutting off the ignition; it's hardly unusual.  I don't do it, but my best friend actually does with her cassette deck - yes, we are old, get off our lawns!

I have never once in my entire driving life (lotsa years) turned off the radio before turning off the car. I don't recall anyone whose car I've ridden in ever doing this either. I had no idea it was weird.