Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[GaT]

When I was working, I was part of the group that helped people evacuate or shelter in an emergency. Part of my job was to stop people from getting on the elevators. I finally found out why they always say in an emergency stay off of the elevators. Apparently, they are heat seeking. If there is a fire on one floor of a building & you get in the elevator to get out, chances are the elevator is going to take you straight to the floor that's on fire. Nice, huh?

[DoctorAtomic]

Now I want to know why there's shopping cart in an elevator.

[CoderLady]

28 minutes ago, DoctorAtomic said:

Now I want to know why there's shopping cart in an elevator.

Could be like the two-story Whole Foods in Novato, CA. I forget what was on the first floor, but the produce and bakery stuff was on the second. You get your cart in the subterranean parking garage, then take it up the elevator. 

[DoctorAtomic]

The story in my head is much more exciting. 

[ratgirlagogo]

9 hours ago, GaT said:

If there is a fire on one floor of a building & you get in the elevator to get out, chances are the elevator is going to take you straight to the floor that's on fire. Nice, huh?

Or , if the fire fries the electrical circuits, it will plunge to the bottom.  I learned this in 9/11 and I to this day avoid even visiting supertall buildings, and when I do, I always look to see where all the stairwells are located.

[Bort]

4 hours ago, ratgirlagogo said:

Or , if the fire fries the electrical circuits, it will plunge to the bottom.  I learned this in 9/11 and I to this day avoid even visiting supertall buildings, and when I do, I always look to see where all the stairwells are located.

There was something wrong with the elevators then, because emergency brakes are electromagnetic. They’re built to always be on if there’s no power. There’s a solenoid that has to electrically keep the brakes off as long as there’s power. That means if an elevator loses power, they’re supposed to automatically clamp shut.

[Ceindreadh]

16 hours ago, GaT said:

When I was working, I was part of the group that helped people evacuate or shelter in an emergency. Part of my job was to stop people from getting on the elevators. I finally found out why they always say in an emergency stay off of the elevators. Apparently, they are heat seeking. If there is a fire on one floor of a building & you get in the elevator to get out, chances are the elevator is going to take you straight to the floor that's on fire. Nice, huh?

I learned that from The Towering Inferno. 

[Shannon L.]

No one ever minds getting wet.  They fall or jump into water fully clothed, then jump out and run or walk with ease, like nothing happened.  I hate getting my clothes wet so much that I actively avoid water balloon and super soaker fights.  Sure, if I was trying to become a famous actor or if I was already a famous actor getting paid what they do, I could probably act like it didn't bother me either (yuck), but, in my 50 years of watch tv and movies, I only recall one time that a character acted like they didn't like getting wet.  Otherwise, it seems that it never occurs to some directors that a lot of people don't like thick, wet, denim sticking to them and a loose, wet shirt slapping against their body. 

[Hiyo]

Not to mention...nobody seems to mind getting their wallets wet, especially the men.

[Popples]

The people that are upset about getting wet are usually coded as shallow or a stick-in-the-mud. They'll (quite rightly IMO) complain about their hair or expensive designer clothes getting all messed up.

[DoctorAtomic]

And then they'll get soaked when a car drives by.

[Anduin]

The come from behind underdog win. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. Anyone can have a good day. But usually, the hot favourites to win are the hot favourites for a reason.

[Ohiopirate02]

3 hours ago, Anduin said:

The come from behind underdog win. I'm not saying it doesn't happen. Anyone can have a good day. But usually, the hot favourites to win are the hot favourites for a reason.

For me that is completely dependent on which sport and if we are watching a tournament.  Sports like football where coaching truly makes the difference and is only played once a week, then yes the underdog rarely pulls off the upset.  Same thing with baseball series.  But, tournament style athletics opens up the door for the upset as long as there is no losers' bracket.  

[Anduin]

27 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

For me that is completely dependent on which sport and if we are watching a tournament.  Sports like football where coaching truly makes the difference and is only played once a week, then yes the underdog rarely pulls off the upset.  Same thing with baseball series.  But, tournament style athletics opens up the door for the upset as long as there is no losers' bracket.  

I see what you mean. My comment is purely based on what little sports I've seen and actually thought about. Most of the time, the favourite wins.

[Blergh]

8 minutes ago, Anduin said:

I see what you mean. My comment is purely based on what little sports I've seen and actually thought about. Most of the time, the favourite wins.

True but that is WHY it is all the more cathartic (and entertaining) when an underdog triumphs!

[Ohiopirate02]

29 minutes ago, Blergh said:

True but that is WHY it is all the more cathartic (and entertaining) when an underdog triumphs!

And why we all watch the NCAA tournament every March and create brackets.  If the final four every year was always Carolina, Duke, Kentucky, and Kansas, we wouldn't care as much.  

[DoctorAtomic]

To be fair, it happens way more in tv though. March Madness is great, but it's not like mid majors have won any titles. 

[Shannon L.]

Cemeteries are always foggy at night and, if you listen carefully, you're likely to hear the hoot of an owl.

[Blergh]

1 hour ago, Shannon L. said:

Cemeteries are always foggy at night and, if you listen carefully, you're likely to hear the hoot of an owl.

Also,  television cemeteries' tombstones are almost always still perfectly straight and carefully mounted with every inscription being totally legible to the viewers. No overgrown, vandalized, graffittied, incoherent or faded tombstones appear in television cemeteries! 

[DoctorAtomic]

Unless you find the only one that is because Plot. 

[Hiyo]

Don't forget, if you're having trouble finding a particular tombstone, for whatever reason, lighting will flash and thunder will rumble at the same time once you find it. Day or night.

Edited April 25, 2020 by Hiyo

[Mabinogia]

2 hours ago, Hiyo said:

Don't forget, if you're having trouble finding a particular tombstone, for whatever reason, lighting will flash and thunder will rumble at the same time once you find it. Day or night.

That's actually really helpful. I wish a flash of lightening and some thunder would let me know when I am close to where I left my keys. 

[Hiyo]

Well, it will let you know if someone is in your house when the lights are off...

[DearEvette]

If you have a stalker (or even if you don't) please, for goodness sake, do not go to a traveling carnival.  And definitely do not go into the fun house or the house of mirrors.  If you do your stalker will follow you in and menace you in all sorts of ways while you stumble around in terror all the time seeing 100 reflections of him/her.

[Mabinogia]

7 minutes ago, DearEvette said:

If you have a stalker (or even if you don't) please, for goodness sake, do not go to a traveling carnival.  And definitely do not go into the fun house or the house of mirrors.  If you do your stalker will follow you in and menace you in all sorts of ways while you stumble around in terror all the time seeing 100 reflections of him/her.

Funny I should read this now. I just finished watching a show where a guy got his head chopped off in a House of Horrors. It wasn't a travelling carnival, but even in a stationary theme parky area, do NOT go into a House of Horrors if there is any chance anyone might have any reason to want you dead. Just don't or you're asking for it. Or really, just don't go into one regardless. Those places are death traps!

[Blergh]

In the shooting ducks in a barrel category:

 

In Girl Meets World: Gary Stu. . er Lucas Friar's grandfather shows up  at the NYC classroom from Austin, Texas saying he'd just rode the train and needs to take his grandson back to Texas for a bit. Then Lucas (and it turns out the other teen regulars) pop up in the show's version of Austin what seemed to be later that same morning- after an illustration of a 19th century steam locomotive had popped up on the screen!

Would Uncle Walt have thought Mickey Mouse Club viewers in the 1950's were naive enough to think one could have traveled all the way from Manhattan to Austin via  any kind of train in just ONE MORNING?! I don't think so. So why would this New Millennial Disney production have tried to pass this off as a viable and rapid means to get minimally 1500 miles as the crow flies? How hard would it have been for them to have dropped a line that everyone just took a nonstop air flight from Point A to Point B (maybe say Farkle's zillionaire dad had them flown on a private plane)? I mean both NYC and Austin DO have airports!  Sorry but no points for the show for contributing to the dumbing down of   viewers'   already questionable geographical knowledge. 

Edited May 11, 2020 by Blergh

[Katy M]

On 4/25/2020 at 2:39 PM, Hiyo said:

Don't forget, if you're having trouble finding a particular tombstone, for whatever reason, lighting will flash and thunder will rumble at the same time once you find it. Day or night.

Come on.  Nobody tries to find a tombstone during the daytime.  You know this only happens at night:)

And there's always a creepy caretaker hanging around.  I think I've only seen people that are working at a cemetery when there's a funeral that day.  And I used to live next to a cemetery.  And my grandmother had a house adjacent to yet another cemetery.  Yes, I know that there are people there on a regular basis mowing and whatnot.  But, honestly, I just never seem to see them.  And when I do, they're not at all creepy.

[Hiyo]

Quote

Nobody tries to find a tombstone during the daytime.  You know this only happens at night:)

Of course it happens during the daytime! It just happens that it only takes place on overcast days...especially during a daytime storm raging.

[Ohiopirate02]

I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I love how TV characters can find the exact article they are looking for on microfilm in like 15 minutes.  Usually with an unhelpful, disapproving librarian somewhere in the background.**  MIcrofilm is a PITA even when you know the exact roll you need and the article in question will appear on the first page of the first date on the roll.  But no, our protagonist knows exactly how to set up the roll on the reader, zoom along and stop exactly where paydirt is found.  No need to move the film up and down, left or right to be able to read it.  

 

**Most librarians are willing to help you narrow down your microfilm search and teach you how to use the machine.  We know how difficult it is to find information on something that is not searchable.  Just  don't keep on calling Microfilm Microfiche.  

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

But no, our protagonist knows exactly how to set up the roll on the reader, zoom along and stop exactly where paydirt is found.  No need to move the film up and down, left or right to be able to read it.  

I don't remember what I was watching as it was a long time ago, but I remember once, a character actually complained about getting dizzy. then got frustrated and quit.

[Bastet]

18 minutes ago, Katy M said:

I don't remember what I was watching as it was a long time ago, but I remember once, a character actually complained about getting dizzy.

I don't know if you watched The X-Files, but in "Squeeze" Mulder asked Scully if she had any Dramamine when they sat down to search through a bunch of records on microfilm, since "these things make me seasick".

[Ohiopirate02]

55 minutes ago, Katy M said:

I don't remember what I was watching as it was a long time ago, but I remember once, a character actually complained about getting dizzy. then got frustrated and quit.

 

29 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I don't know if you watched The X-Files, but in "Squeeze" Mulder asked Scully if she had any Dramamine when they sat down to search through a bunch of records on microfilm, since "these things make me seasick".

It does make you seasick as you scroll on by.  I used to have to look up obituaries for people at my old library job, and would have to do them in small chunks because of this.  Between most TV shows and movies glossing over the drudgery of the job and people's unreasonable expectations about Google, I would be silently fuming at the people who requested the searches.  

[GHScorpiosRule]

3 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I love how TV characters can find the exact article they are looking for on microfilm in like 15 minutes.  Usually with an unhelpful, disapproving librarian somewhere in the background.**  MIcrofilm is a PITA even when you know the exact roll you need and the article in question will appear on the first page of the first date on the roll.  But no, our protagonist knows exactly how to set up the roll on the reader, zoom along and stop exactly where paydirt is found.  No need to move the film up and down, left or right to be able to read it.  

This goes waaaaaaaay back, but I appreciated the realism. In an episode of Scarecrow & Mrs. King, Lee and Amanda were at some base, and Amanda was going through the microfiche. Apparently she was taking too long, because first he told her to "hurry up!" and when she told him it would take time, and not to rush her, he nodded and then started whistling.

Amanda paused and said: "Lee. Whistling is rushing." And he shut right up.

Point being, they didn't find the information in a millisecond or seconds.

And it also cracked me up.

[Zella]

4 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I don't know if this has been mentioned, but I love how TV characters can find the exact article they are looking for on microfilm in like 15 minutes.  Usually with an unhelpful, disapproving librarian somewhere in the background.**  MIcrofilm is a PITA even when you know the exact roll you need and the article in question will appear on the first page of the first date on the roll.  But no, our protagonist knows exactly how to set up the roll on the reader, zoom along and stop exactly where paydirt is found.  No need to move the film up and down, left or right to be able to read it.  

 

**Most librarians are willing to help you narrow down your microfilm search and teach you how to use the machine.  We know how difficult it is to find information on something that is not searchable.  Just  don't keep on calling Microfilm Microfiche.  

I also hate all the crime shows where every single piece of relevant data from around the world is all helpfully rolled into one database. No. Just no. 

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, Zella said:

I also hate all the crime shows where every single piece of relevant data from around the world is all helpfully rolled into one database. No. Just no. 

Someday I would love it if on a TV show the protagonist or detective couldn't find the information because a water leak destroyed the records or a courthouse fire, you know the code words a librarian or archivist uses for we dont have those records because of previous mismanagement.  Or the particular roll of microfilm you need has legitimately disappeared.  Or for some reason the person responsible for making that roll of microfilm was drunk that day and the end product is not good.   

[Zella]

1 minute ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Someday I would love it if on a TV show the protagonist or detective couldn't find the information because a water leak destroyed the records or a courthouse fire, you know the code words a librarian or archivist uses for we dont have those records because of previous mismanagement.  Or the particular roll of microfilm you need has legitimately disappeared.  Or for some reason the person responsible for making that roll of microfilm was drunk that day and the end product is not good.   

YES! 

[Mabinogia]

7 hours ago, Katy M said:

And there's always a creepy caretaker hanging around. 

I would love to see the interview process for a cemetery caretaker. "Are you so pale people think you might be dead? Do you walk with a limp or a hunch or have some type of physical deformity? Are you prone to saying normal things in a spine tinglingly creepy way? Have we got the job for you! Throw on your dirtiest, illest fitting clothes, throw some dirt in your scraggly beard and come on down to Gloom and Doom Cemetery at midnight. Just follow the low misty fog towards the abandoned crypt to apply." 

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, Zella said:

I also hate all the crime shows where every single piece of relevant data from around the world is all helpfully rolled into one database. No. Just no. 

Major Crimes is one of the few cop shows I've ever loved, and one of the many reasons for that is its realism, but there was an episode in which they had video footage from inside a bar and needed to identify the bar.  From what was visible in the background, they knew it had a karaoke machine, hosted trivia tournaments, and had held a viewing party for a particular boxing match. 

This leads to Provenza saying yes, they need to find that bar so he can make sure to never accidentally walk in there, so I can't hate the scene, but it also leads to a detective's magical computer not only having a handy listing of all local venues that had licensed that fight (nearly a year prior), but somehow being able to cross reference so that in less than a minute, he knew which one of those bars was somehow the only bar in Los Angeles to also have karaoke and trivia. 

 

[Zella]

Just now, Bastet said:

Major Crimes is one of the few cop shows I've ever loved, and one of the many reasons for that is its realism, but there was an episode in which they had video footage from inside a bar and needed to identify the bar.  From what was visible in the background, they knew it had a karaoke machine, hosted trivia tournaments, and had held a viewing party for a particular boxing match. 

This leads to Provenza saying yes, they need to find that bar so he can make sure to never accidentally walk in there, so I can't hate the scene, but it also leads to a detective's magical computer not only having a handy listing of all local venues that had licensed that fight (nearly a year prior), but somehow being able to cross reference so that in less than a minute, he knew which one of those bars was somehow the only bar in Los Angeles to also have karaoke and trivia. 

 

I didn't watch a lot of Major Crimes but I did like the episodes I watched. That being said, yes, that there computer is way too magical. 

[Katy M]

44 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

I would love to see the interview process for a cemetery caretaker. "Are you so pale people think you might be dead? Do you walk with a limp or a hunch or have some type of physical deformity? Are you prone to saying normal things in a spine tinglingly creepy way? Have we got the job for you! Throw on your dirtiest, illest fitting clothes, throw some dirt in your scraggly beard and come on down to Gloom and Doom Cemetery at midnight. Just follow the low misty fog towards the abandoned crypt to apply." 

You do realize that you've made me want to change professions.  That sounds like so much fun.

[andromeda331]

30 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Major Crimes is one of the few cop shows I've ever loved, and one of the many reasons for that is its realism, but there was an episode in which they had video footage from inside a bar and needed to identify the bar.  From what was visible in the background, they knew it had a karaoke machine, hosted trivia tournaments, and had held a viewing party for a particular boxing match. 

This leads to Provenza saying yes, they need to find that bar so he can make sure to never accidentally walk in there, so I can't hate the scene, but it also leads to a detective's magical computer not only having a handy listing of all local venues that had licensed that fight (nearly a year prior), but somehow being able to cross reference so that in less than a minute, he knew which one of those bars was somehow the only bar in Los Angeles to also have karaoke and trivia. 

 

I didn't see that episode but I always laugh every time there's only "one" bar/restaurant/store type in NYC or LA.  Wow, what are the odds that there's only one in the two biggest cities in the country with all types of people or there's only one store you can buy a specific item. Like on episode of Elementary Joan says there's only two places that sell doctor lab coats. Really? In all of NYC with tons of hospitals and clinics? 

[Irlandesa]

52 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Someday I would love it if on a TV show the protagonist or detective couldn't find the information because a water leak destroyed the records or a courthouse fire, you know the code words a librarian or archivist uses for we dont have those records because of previous mismanagement.  Or the particular roll of microfilm you need has legitimately disappeared.  Or for some reason the person responsible for making that roll of microfilm was drunk that day and the end product is not good.   

Ha.  Missing records happens quite a bit in detective shows but not procedural shows.  It's for the shows that last six to eight episodes covering one case.  Something needs to drag things out.  Either it's missing records or so many records that it takes forever to find what they're looking for.

2 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

This goes waaaaaaaay back, but I appreciated the realism. In an episode of Scarecrow & Mrs. King,

I need that show to stream, ASAP.

[DoctorAtomic]

I'm surprised it isn't. 

[Irlandesa]

11 minutes ago, DoctorAtomic said:

I'm surprised it isn't. 

It was on Amazon Prime for a while. In fact, it was the reason I signed up for Prime in the first place. You can still buy it online there is no service it's a part of.  It was part of WB television so I'm wondering if it'll end up on HBO Max. 

[auntlada]

It's on Prime, but it isn't free.

[GHScorpiosRule]

12 hours ago, auntlada said:

It's on Prime, but it isn't free.

Not anymore, anyway. It used to be. But, I have the dvds, so there's that. Just as I do for Remington Steele.

[DoctorAtomic]

Oooh. I wasn't allowed to watch that much. 

[Blergh]

21 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Not anymore, anyway. It used to be. But, I have the dvds, so there's that. Just as I do for Remington Steele.

Speaking of Remington Steele, I had to like the irony of the whole series that this brilliant and determined detective had no clue about his OWN actual origins and identity until near the end of the whole series. I mean, how many detectives in Real Life are clueless about their actual identities? LOL

[auntlada]

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Not anymore, anyway. It used to be. But, I have the dvds, so there's that. Just as I do for Remington Steele.

I found it there yesterday evening.

[GHScorpiosRule]

1 minute ago, auntlada said:

I found it there yesterday evening.

I streamed it four? five? years ago and it was free then. But .99 ain't too bad a price to rent. But like I posted above, I've got the dvds, so watch it on those.