S06.E10: Communication

[Kiss my mutt]

So, Ryan has three jobs that he nets a total of $70,000?  Is that right?  I’d rather have Jacquelyn’s one job that pays that much.  

[humbleopinion]

Who pissed off the model that Ryan and Jackie had the pleasure to sketch?

Hey buddy...you're on prime time basic cable!

The producers must have had a Groupon for the class.

[Lusterleaf]

1 hour ago, KateHearts said:

The more I watch Molly the less I like her. Also the comments that go like "I could see myself maybe possibly someday being attracted to Jon..." are purely dodges that keep her in the game and on TV while not really building anything with this guy. Reminds me of the squeaky-voiced gym owner guy and the dietician girl from last season.  She's not into him. At all. They act like brother and sister.

Yes exactly. Molly & Jon are this season's Danielle & Cody. The guy whines about not getting any, the girl pretends like she's sort of into him and there's a chance for them... there's got to be some monetary incentive for staying on the show , and also choosing to remain married in the end.

On 3/14/2018 at 12:44 AM, SnarkKitty said:

Son (who lives in Boston): "Hey, do you watch that Married at First Sight" show?
Me:  "Yeah, why?"
Son:  "Oh, I know someone on this season. My co-worker came back married, and told us she was doing the show."
Me:  "Yeah! The real inside scoop!"

The co-worker? Jacklyn.

Finally after years (decades, TBH) I finally know someone (sort of.)

Please share the scoop!

[AussieBabe]

Molly is one baffling young woman. She rates her happiness at a 7 in the marriage, but any time Jon initiates anything intimate like cuddling, kissing, holding hands, etc., it's too relationship-y, and she goes all frost princess on him. Is it that hard to hold hands while walking on an apple orchard or to share a few two second kisses? I agree that something transpired off screen or something is going on with her. Where is the happiness with the marriage coming from? Even on-screen, they remind me of a couple going through marital counselling and sitting on opposite ends of the couch as opposed to right next to each other. There's no warmth or sense of even emotional intimacy. Even if he wasn't pushing for sex, I'd still say if I were him, I'd be put off by the lack of progression. She describes herself as fun and all this stuff, but where is that side? She comes off very rigid. Their scenes are heavily manipulated, or she's an odd bird for going to bed with a full face of a make-up with obvious skin issues that aren't under control. One's skin needs to breathe, and if she sleeps in that stuff, it's not going to clear up. And what's with the constant harping on about manicures and nail maintenance? 

Ryan wanted a wife in name only and someone to fit into his endless schedule. He does talk AT people and not to them. I'm trying to figure out when he sees Jaclyn. He doesn't seem like he's really willing to change or do anything different, and he'll lose someone who is probably a good, loyal woman. I hope his three jobs, paintballing, and 11 PM bar crawls with the boys are worth it....when he returns home to an empty bed or wakes up to one because the one-sight stand bounced before the break of dawn.

Shawniece and Jephte....straight producer driven drama. Of the couples, I'm pulling for them. I think Jephte is just inexperienced with relationships and how to communicate effectively. That's something that can be improved. I'd advise all of these couples to discover their love languages and the order they go in. It makes a difference in how you relate to spouses and partners because then you can understand what it is that they need in the relationship. Molly's coldness and Ryan's inability to listen or take other's feelings into consideration? Good luck.

[KateHearts]

6 minutes ago, AussieBabe said:

And what's with the constant harping on about manicures and nail maintenance? 

yes, the counselor advises, "Don't lose sight of yourself during the process of becoming part of a married couple."  Molly's interpretation is: "keep spending money on your nails and hair."  There's some disconnect there.

[Waterlilly]

Even if or when Jaclyn bolts, Ryan will never ever acknowledge little less admit that he is at fault, even a little teeny bit.  He wants a wife not a marriage.  Jaclyn should go home to her cute little house with a porch and wait for Jon to call with some adventure (if you are going to be friend zoned or ignored then go have some fun!).

[humbleopinion]

Molly is her manicured nails and blown out hair...she is just that shallow....

Am tired of the camera shots of Jon's Fred Flintstone's feet on the coffee table... ugly, stubby toes in the forefront...quit it!

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, AussieBabe said:

Molly is one baffling young woman. She rates her happiness at a 7 in the marriage, but any time Jon initiates anything intimate like cuddling, kissing, holding hands, etc., it's too relationship-y, and she goes all frost princess on him. Is it that hard to hold hands while walking on an apple orchard or to share a few two second kisses? I agree that something transpired off screen or something is going on with her. Where is the happiness with the marriage coming from? Even on-screen, they remind me of a couple going through marital counselling and sitting on opposite ends of the couch as opposed to right next to each other. There's no warmth or sense of even emotional intimacy. Even if he wasn't pushing for sex, I'd still say if I were him, I'd be put off by the lack of progression. She describes herself as fun and all this stuff, but where is that side? She comes off very rigid. Their scenes are heavily manipulated, or she's an odd bird for going to bed with a full face of a make-up with obvious skin issues that aren't under control. One's skin needs to breathe, and if she sleeps in that stuff, it's not going to clear up. And what's with the constant harping on about manicures and nail maintenance? 

Ryan wanted a wife in name only and someone to fit into his endless schedule. He does talk AT people and not to them. I'm trying to figure out when he sees Jaclyn. He doesn't seem like he's really willing to change or do anything different, and he'll lose someone who is probably a good, loyal woman. I hope his three jobs, paintballing, and 11 PM bar crawls with the boys are worth it....when he returns home to an empty bed or wakes up to one because the one-sight stand bounced before the break of dawn.

Shawniece and Jephte....straight producer driven drama. Of the couples, I'm pulling for them. I think Jephte is just inexperienced with relationships and how to communicate effectively. That's something that can be improved. I'd advise all of these couples to discover their love languages and the order they go in. It makes a difference in how you relate to spouses and partners because then you can understand what it is that they need in the relationship. Molly's coldness and Ryan's inability to listen or take other's feelings into consideration? Good luck.

Molly gets in the bed, adjusts her hair to look perfect, is in full makeup with eyelashes and probably hopes to be "discovered"for modeling or t.v.  Then she gets out of the bed and goes home alone somewhere without Jon.

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Molly is her manicured nails and blown out hair...she is just that shallow....

Am tired of the camera shots of Jon's Fred Flintstone's feet on the coffee table... ugly, stubby toes in the forefront...quit it!

That is so "improper" to put bare feet on any table.  Disgusting.

[biakbiak]

The only surprise of this episode was learning of the existence of paintball teams and that Ryan is on not one but two!

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, KateHearts said:

yes, the counselor advises, "Don't lose sight of yourself during the process of becoming part of a married couple."  Molly's interpretation is: "keep spending money on your nails and hair."  There's some disconnect there.

These "counsellors" with their bullshit that we can't even understand, crack me up.  The three of them are probably divorced or all screwed up with their love lives.  Dr. Pepper, recently remarried doesn't even live with her new husband.  What the hell is that all about?  Doesn't seem normal to me.  And, you are right about Molly's hair & nails.  What do they have to do with not liking Jon?  If hair and nails is all she cares about, she has a problem.  How is she going to handle a baby with those claws?

[2727]

5 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I think Molly really wanted to be the alpha in the relationship & that's not working out for her, unless they're baking. 

That is becoming clearer and clearer, isn't it? I can't help but think of the lineup of past wives who longed for a "real man" and were dealt beta males. Now we have a clear alpha in Jon and he's matched with someone who's not comfortable unless she's leading.

I just wish both of them would drop the front. Jon has tamped his personality down by half to try to please his wife and Molly is determined to keep up her "perfect" facade. Jon was right that her actual marital satisfaction is around a 2, but her default is to pretend otherwise rather than admit she's unhappy.

Edited March 15, 2018 by 2727

[lezlers]

On ‎3‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 9:32 AM, OnTime said:

I don't think I even seen Molly touch Jon  but she rates the marriage a 7.

????

That was my reaction too.   You're rating your marriage a 7 but aren't attracted to your spouse and don't want them to touch you.  Yep, seems like an ideal marriage to me!  I mean, without sex, even the best marriage wouldn't rate higher than a 5.  At least not for most normal, healthy people.

On ‎3‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 10:51 AM, Gobears said:

It's not just work. Jaclyn said that Ryan owns a paintball field and competes on two different teams so it's like a third job. The movie night was a big deal to Jaclyn because on Unfiltered, she said it was one of the few nights together that wasn't being filmed. Ryan was a jerk because he sacrificed rare private time with his wife to hang out with his friends. 

I wonder why Jonathan and Jaclyn weren't paired. They seem like they would be more compatible. They both like to do active things and seem to want to spend more time with their partners. 

I actually like Jon, but I do think he's too superficial to get paired with Jackie.  Jackie is pretty, but she's not really a conventional beauty.   Remember all the crap Jon gave Ryan just about Jackie's ring size (he's definitely grown on me since those episodes.) 

[lezlers]

On ‎3‎/‎14‎/‎2018 at 11:54 AM, 2727 said:

That's what mothers are for!

Everything suddenly came together for me in one sentence: Ryan talks at people, not to them.

Why is it so hard for Ryan to include Jackie in his plans? Is every work party, paintball game, and drinking night Just For Men? When I first met my husband he had a group of three male friends he'd meet weekly for drinks and dinner. He just ... took me with him.

If I share a bed, bathroom, and bank account with my spouse, I don't see phones as somehow being out of bounds, privacy wise.

I think phones are different.  Most people are really attached to their phones and tend to share very private thoughts with friends and others on them.   I love my husband and trust him explicitly and would never want to snoop on his phone.  I don't cheat on my husband and have no desire to.  I still wouldn't want him snooping on my phone because I do vent about him (as most spouses do) to my friends over text message.  I'm not "guilty" of doing anything but some of the stuff I say to my friends when I'm mad would probably hurt his feelings so I'd rather he not see it.  I'm sure he vents about me too.  That's what married people do.  It's normal, it's healthy and it's allowed.  But just because you're not doing anything wrong doesn't mean the other partner needs to see it or should see it.  Privacy is important in a marriage.

[humbleopinion]

Don't think Pastor Cal lets Wendy take hour strolls through his cellie phone...just saying.....confidential pastor stuff with his flock...oath of office and such...

[lezlers]

7 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Molly is delusional to the point that it is comical, she is incapable of admitting any failures on her part...she couldn't give herself a 3...ever

Jon's guffaw as the reaction to her "7" was the most authentic second of that scripted producer segment.

Molly is getting emotional fulfillment from the ritual of getting her nails done...the more perfect her manicure... the better she feels about herself...

Guess she is funneling her money to her hands when she should throw dollars at a dermatologist to take care of that rough patch on her right cheek.

I didn't think about that but you're totally right.  Molly is all about appearances, which is probably why we've never seen her without a full face of make-up and her hair done (even when she's lying in bed allegedly going to sleep.)   Same goes for her nails, hair, clothes, ect.   The fact that her husband is currently unemployed goes against her "perfect" image which is probably at the core of her issue with Jon.   The whole "perfect" façade would also explain her laughable gauging of their marriage at a 7.   I'm madly in love with and attracted to my husband.  We have sex quite regularly.  Even I wouldn't rate my happiness scale above like, an 8.   There's always room for improvement.  A sexless marriage?  Come on, now.  No one wants that, unless they're asexual.   

[lezlers]

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

These "counsellors" with their bullshit that we can't even understand, crack me up.  The three of them are probably divorced or all screwed up with their love lives.  Dr. Pepper, recently remarried doesn't even live with her new husband.  What the hell is that all about?  Doesn't seem normal to me.  And, you are right about Molly's hair & nails.  What do they have to do with not liking Jon?  If hair and nails is all she cares about, she has a problem.  How is she going to handle a baby with those claws?

I was so damn confused at that entire conversation, seemingly out of nowhere.  Did Jon tell her NOT to do her nails?  WTF?  I get what the expert was saying, but how was that currently a problem that needed to be addressed?  Molly is CLEARLY not losing herself in the relationship, since the Ice Queen has been keeping Jon at a distance this whole time anyway, despite him giving her everything she's asked for.  She got her parking space, her giant closet, she gets her nails and hair done, what's the issue here?  It's probably do to editing but I was REALLY confused. 

[humbleopinion]

^^^ On the MollyDuff scale of Marriage Bliss... you would get a 20...if 20 means crushing the marriage thing!

[ChristmasJones]

Did anyone catch that Jep had never been in a relationship before?  Seems a bit extreme to go from no experience to this.  No slight to anyone who hasn't been in a relationship by their mid-to-late 20's, but in his case, I'm wondering why that is the case.

[OnTime]

2 hours ago, lezlers said:

actually like Jon, but I do think he's too superficial to get paired with Jackie.  Jackie is pretty, but she's not really a conventional beauty.   Remember all the crap Jon gave Ryan just about Jackie's ring size (he's definitely grown on me since those episodes.) 

Oh, I missed that. I thought they knew ZERO about each other before meeting at the alter.

What did they know in advance?

[humbleopinion]

The grooms got together to pick out their brides' rings before the weddings.

The only info they had was their wife's ring size...

Jon dissed Ryan's wife for having a size 8 ring finger size...implying she had man hands, deep voice...

Ryan responded by buying the most expensive ring of the group, paying the difference out of his pocket...to shut unemployed Jon up...

[Neurochick]

8 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

That conversation showed Ryan at his most toxic yet.  He did not deserve an apology from Jaclyn.  He does deserve a swift kick in the arse, hopefully strong enough to land him on the curb.

Ryan needs to understand that we are in the 21st century and expectations of marriage are different.  My great-grandfather worked six days a week; my great-grandmother had three small children by the time she was twenty-three.  Their life was probably more about survival.  Ryan and Jaclyn aren't living like that, she wants to spend time with him, she doesn't just want a husband who brings home the bacon.

I'm laughing at the whole "phone" issue.  When I got my first cell phone in 1999, it was just that, a phone; today it's graduated to that and so much more.  Jephte, however was right, it was stupid and Shawnice should have realized that too.  She's too extra, she gets too emotional over everything.  I don't think Jephte meant to be mean to Shawnice, he just thought the whole thing was stupid and didn't get why Shawnice wanted to.

[silverspoons]

3 hours ago, ChristmasJones said:

Did anyone catch that Jep had never been in a relationship before?  Seems a bit extreme to go from no experience to this.  No slight to anyone who hasn't been in a relationship by their mid-to-late 20's, but in his case, I'm wondering why that is the case.

I heard that to Jep had never been in a relationship and it had been 9 years for Ryan (so like high school girlfriend was his last relationship?). I guess Ryan was busy working and playing to date. 

I am assuming Jep thinks relationship is like living with someone or engaged or very committed? I can't imagine he has not dated, but maybe since he had such a crazy unstable childhood home, he didn't want to make a commitment to a girlfriend until he was stable? Not dating much (and having it not due to religion) can happen. My ex BIL (he was much younger then my ex) had moved a ton in his childhood, and bounced between family members. He was good looking and girls were all over him in college but he didn't even want to date. He was focused on getting out of college. Then he focused on a career. I can't tell you how many people asked about him. Suddenly at 31, he brought a girl for us to meet, a co-worker also with a PHD (I would have never imagined him with this type of girl). They married a few years later and have a wonderful life, their educations, mutliple languages spoken, and work history got them a pile of job offers and they built a wonderful life. My ex BIL said he had to have security before he thought of serious dating or kids. I can't imagine Jep who slept on the floor with 12 siblings in a 1 bedroom, does not have some sort of issue with having financial security and trusting women. I have wondered if one of the reason he did not sleep with Shawnice right away was in fear of her getting pregnant. I;m sure he has seen his share of baby's mama drama growing up.

[humbleopinion]

Jephte, marriage should not be your first serious relationship.

Women will tire of his baby steps shtick...will refuse to be at the receiving end of his misdirected anger...will not put up with his unwillingness to communicate...his succumbing to the instinct to flee when confronted is destructive.

Producers hit the jackpot twice when it came to finding emotional opposites in Jephte and Shawniece and with another couple Ryan and Jackie.

Ryan doesn't want to nurture a relationship, he likes being unfettered and fancy free...his busy life gives him ready excuses to not be at home.

He is emotionally distracted and distant.

Having friends with benefits that he can go bareback is as emotionally committed as he is willing to be with his full schedule of owning a paintball park, member on 2 paintball teams, landlord for his rental, weekend construction jobs and full time firefighter.

Jackie wants a husband that is present emotionally and literally.

[kira28]

I'm not sure what happened but in just a short month Ryan went from being all excited about having a wife to basically not interested at all in Jacqueline. I get that he's busy but he manages to make time for things thst are important to him. Unfortunately his wife isn't important at all. I don't understand why he couldn't bring her to the retirement party so he could spend time with  her too. Obviously he didn't want her around his buddies. Maybe they don't find her attractive?  Why was jackie wearing Ryan's red white and blue boxers? Ug

 

Had to laugh when blonde ice Princess rated her marriage a 7. I totally understand not having sex with Jon I wouldn't either. But what is her problem with holding hands cuddling, snuggling up to him or kissing or hugging the man? She's not even trying. 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

On 3/13/2018 at 10:04 PM, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Jon is such a raging prick. He actually scares me. Total conjecture here but I could see him being a date rapist, he's so mean and entitled. I'm glad Molly isn't giving in to his pressure to do something she doesn't want to do and doesn't owe him; I just hope he doesn't get violent with her.

 

Sorry, but I see it the opposite way. Jon has been married to her for over a month and he's totally sexually frustrated. Worse yet, any time he tries to show any sexual interest in her, she uses it as an excuse for why she's not interested in him sexually!!

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Just now, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Sorry, but I see it the opposite way. Jon has been married to her for over a month and he's totally sexually frustrated. Worse yet, any time he tries to show any sexual interest in her, she uses it as an excuse for why she's not interested in him sexually!!

If this were a normal marriage where they knew each other before, I think this would carry more weight. Molly signed up for this experiment but there’s simply no way to control for attraction. She can’t help it if she doesn’t want to have sex with him (and I suspect on some level she’s a little afraid of him). If Jon wanted guaranteed sex he should’ve signed up for a hooker. 

Others have mentioned that they don’t get why she can’t at least be affectionate with him. My guess is that he would take any cuddling, kissing, etc. as an opening, and if she declined to go further, he’d become even more irate, accusing her of being a tease and giving him the fictional “blue balls.” I don’t think moderate physical contact would placate Jon, so much as it would further enrage him. The snide way he gets with her so quickly, almost out of nowhere, is very scary to me. 

Students at my college have to undergo Title IX training about sexual crimes and consent as part of orientation. They watch a video that uses the metaphor of offering someone a cup of tea for sex. Jon needs to watch that video. Even if someone says they’d like to come over for a cup of tea, and you start brewing the tea, they can still change their mind and decline the tea, and you can’t pour it down their throats anyway.  Nobody has to drink tea, no matter what they ordered from the menu, and you can’t hold it against them. TEA IS A CHOICE!! 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

If this were a normal marriage where they knew each other before, I think this would carry more weight. Molly signed up for this experiment but there’s simply no way to control for attraction.

Students at my college have to undergo Title IX training about sexual crimes and consent as part of orientation. They watch a video that uses the metaphor of offering someone a cup of tea for sex. Jon needs to watch that video. Even if someone says they’d like to come over for a cup of tea, and you start brewing the tea, they can still change their mind and decline the tea, and you can’t pour it down their throats anyway.  Nobody has to drink tea, no matter what they ordered from the menu, and you can’t hold it against them. TEA IS A CHOICE!! 

"Tea" is a choice!!" you said.     ....Yes, and so is getting married at first sight. She made a commitment. So did Jon. In fact, Jon gave up his job to find 'the woman of his dreams' --and it's actually turned out to be the woman of his nightmares!

[Empress1]

3 hours ago, kira28 said:

I'm not sure what happened but in just a short month Ryan went from being all excited about having a wife to basically not interested at all in Jacqueline. I get that he's busy but he manages to make time for things thst are important to him. Unfortunately his wife isn't important at all. I don't understand why he couldn't bring her to the retirement party so he could spend time with  her too. Obviously he didn't want her around his buddies. Maybe they don't find her attractive?  Why was jackie wearing Ryan's red white and blue boxers? Ug

 

Had to laugh when blonde ice Princess rated her marriage a 7. I totally understand not having sex with Jon I wouldn't either. But what is her problem with holding hands cuddling, snuggling up to him or kissing or hugging the man? She's not even trying. 

This is key. We make time for what's important to us. I posted this in another forum here: the best lesson I learned about relationships is that when a man is acting like he doesn't care, it is because he doesn't care. I wish I had learned it much, much sooner. And it's not just relationships - people's priorities are very obvious if you look and take what you're seeing at face value. If Ryan, now knowing that Jackie wants to spend more one on one time with him, does not make time for her, it's because he doesn't want to. He is choosing not to.

I noticed Jackie wearing those ugly boxers too. Girl, why?

I can understand why Molly doesn't want to touch Jon if she knows she doesn't want to have sex with him at all, ever (although she jokes about having kids with him, which she maybe ought not do if she knows there's no attraction) - it would be reasonable for him to assume that he would expect their sex life to progress once it starts, and she doesn't want to give him any hope.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

4 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I can understand why Molly doesn't want to touch Jon if she knows she doesn't want to have sex with him at all, ever (although she jokes about having kids with him, which she maybe ought not do if she knows there's no attraction) - it would be reasonable for him to assume that he would expect their sex life to progress once it starts, and she doesn't want to give him any hope.

So why doesn't she quit the 'experiment' and explain that she has no intention of ever having sex with her husband??!

[Empress1]

9 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

So why doesn't she quit the 'experiment' and explain that she has no intention of ever having sex with her husband??!

I agree, she should. Danielle should have too. I respect Heather from a few seasons ago for being like "Nope, I'm out."

Edited March 16, 2018 by Empress1

[JocelynCavanaugh]

9 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

"Tea" is a choice!!" you said.     ....Yes, and so is getting married at first sight. She made a commitment. So did Jon. In fact, Jon gave up his job to find 'the woman of his dreams' --and it's actually turned out to be the woman of his nightmares!

She made the commitment in good faith, presumably, but I doubt she signed a contract promising to have sex no matter what. That’s probably not even legal. Again, she can’t help it that she’s not attracted to him. I’m not, either.  He’s got a mean side that really scares me, and being hounded and guilted and raged at would not put me in the mood.  

This is a crazy experiment that makes for (sometimes) entertaining TV precisely because it’s such a gamble. You cannot predict whether people will be attracted to each other. On top of that, it’s increasingly clear that matches are made more on their potential for drama than for success. It’s a miracle any have ever worked out. 

It’s astounding to me how many people (especially women!) think Molly should just put out because she signed a marriage license to a stranger. It doesn’t reconcile with my understanding of feminism or personal agency or bodily autonomy at all. I don’t recall people being this hard on Danielle last season and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because she was more sympathetic as a dumpy brunette, and/or that Cody was much less of an alpha male. 

[KateHearts]

40 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

She made a commitment. So did Jon. In fact, Jon gave up his job to find 'the woman of his dreams' --and it's actually turned out to be the woman of his nightmares!

Hmm, I find it interesting that along with agreeing to be married at first sight, that some interpret that as meaning acting as if the couples had a long history and background- including sexual attraction and intimacy.  Yes, this is a marriage, but there's no way- "arranged marriage" or not- that you can build the trust, intimacy and complete sexual openness that a normal couple would have one month post-wedding. So I get that Molly may not be ready to romp with abandon in the sack. But then again, I'm older and I'm also the type who takes a while to know people and decide where they fit in my life.  

[KateHearts]

28 minutes ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

It’s astounding to me how many people (especially women!) think Molly should just put out because she signed a marriage license to a stranger.

I'm with you on this. 

I think both of them were the high school prom king/queen type (Molly with her blondeness and good body; Jon with his pecs and his general good looks) and are both puzzled that they aren't able to just get what they want using courting techniques that are fine when you're hanging out in a bar vs. being in a committed relationship.  She's into fake nails (and horrific fake lashes- my goodness, I can't stop staring at how they curl themselves right up to her forehead), having a nice place and a big closet; he's into flexing his muscles and getting laid (or as he says, at least making out) by the second encounter.  They're both perplexed that it's not that compelling to be together and they're both a little too stupid to understand why.

[love2lovebadtv]

On 3/15/2018 at 11:58 AM, Tara Ariano said:

There's a 0% chance she planned that. It struck me as pure producer shenanigans.

That was a ridiculous outing. I could see a paint & sip. Jackie's actually athletic and active, right? They could have easily done something outdoors-y. 

[Lily247]

2 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

If this were a normal marriage where they knew each other before, I think this would carry more weight. Molly signed up for this experiment but there’s simply no way to control for attraction. She can’t help it if she doesn’t want to have sex with him (and I suspect on some level she’s a little afraid of him). If Jon wanted guaranteed sex he should’ve signed up for a hooker. 

Others have mentioned that they don’t get why she can’t at least be affectionate with him. My guess is that he would take any cuddling, kissing, etc. as an opening, and if she declined to go further, he’d become even more irate, accusing her of being a tease and giving him the fictional “blue balls.” I don’t think moderate physical contact would placate Jon, so much as it would further enrage him. The snide way he gets with her so quickly, almost out of nowhere, is very scary to me. 

Students at my college have to undergo Title IX training about sexual crimes and consent as part of orientation. They watch a video that uses the metaphor of offering someone a cup of tea for sex. Jon needs to watch that video. Even if someone says they’d like to come over for a cup of tea, and you start brewing the tea, they can still change their mind and decline the tea, and you can’t pour it down their throats anyway.  Nobody has to drink tea, no matter what they ordered from the menu, and you can’t hold it against them. TEA IS A CHOICE!! 

I honestly don't think it is the lack of the actual act of sex that frustrates Jon so much, its that we never see them even touch. Molly gives him zero affection other than purely platonic banter, and she also seems to very cold. If it's been a month of being together every single day and she isn't even shown holding his hand, much less a kiss, it's pretty much hopeless that it will ever happen. 

[Lily247]

2 hours ago, Empress1 said:

This is key. We make time for what's important to us. I posted this in another forum here: the best lesson I learned about relationships is that when a man is acting like he doesn't care, it is because he doesn't care. 

1

Thank you !!! I have female acquaintances and co-workers in their late 30's whose egos cause them to constantly rationalize why a guy doesn't want to be with them; with the most ridiculous excuses: He doesnt think he's good enough for her; his grandma doesn't like her; he's confused and doesn't know what he wants out of life; he's not ready for commitment. NOPE - if he doesn't make any time for you, he's just not that into you, problem solved, move on. 

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

1 hour ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

So why doesn't she quit the 'experiment' and explain that she has no intention of ever having sex with her husband??!

I agree, she should. Danielle should have too. I respect Heather from a few seasons ago for being like "Nope, I'm out."

Molly's not obligated to any physical contact. If she doesn't like him, that's fine. Crazy laugh, fugly feet, whatever it is, but she needs to stop talking babies unless she's planning on IVF.

Heather may have given Derek's ego a big owie by cutting out early, but at least he wasn't given any false hope.

Either that or they're playing along as per the contract, going for the year anniversary divorce bonus bucks.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

She made the commitment in good faith, presumably... You cannot predict whether people will be attracted to each other. 

It’s astounding to me how many people (especially women!) think Molly should just put out because she signed a marriage license to a stranger. It doesn’t reconcile with my understanding of feminism or personal agency or bodily autonomy at all. I don’t recall people being this hard on Danielle last season and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because she was more sympathetic as a dumpy brunette, and/or that Cody was much less of an alpha male. 

Maybe I missed it, but I haven't seen a single comment that Molly should "just put out" --even though that's an important part of any marriage, and her partner has every reason to expect it to become part of his. However, it's obvious Molly has absolutely no intention of ever having sex with Jon. She should pull out of the 'experiment' and stop pretending he has a chance for a real marriage with her.

[Empress1]

50 minutes ago, Lily247 said:

Thank you !!! I have female acquaintances and co-workers in their late 30's whose egos cause them to constantly rationalize why a guy doesn't want to be with them; with the most ridiculous excuses: He doesnt think he's good enough for her; his grandma doesn't like her; he's confused and doesn't know what he wants out of life; he's not ready for commitment. NOPE - if he doesn't make any time for you, he's just not that into you, problem solved, move on. 

And those things might be true but they are not obstacles to a relationship if the person wants to be in a relationship. Someone's grandmother not liking you is not going to stop someone who wants to be with you, you know? Same with having a busy schedule. My cousin met, dated, fell in love with, and married her husband when they both were in med school and residency - a notoriously hectic time without much time for socializing, but they made it work.

2 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I'm with you on this. 

I think both of them were the high school prom king/queen type (Molly with her blondeness and good body; Jon with his pecs and his general good looks) and are both puzzled that they aren't able to just get what they want using courting techniques that are fine when you're hanging out in a bar vs. being in a committed relationship.  She's into fake nails (and horrific fake lashes- my goodness, I can't stop staring at how they curl themselves right up to her forehead), having a nice place and a big closet; he's into flexing his muscles and getting laid (or as he says, at least making out) by the second encounter.  They're both perplexed that it's not that compelling to be together and they're both a little too stupid to understand why.

Jon in particular seems like he's like, "I legit do not understand why this isn't working." Molly, I think, isn't giving the why any thought - I think she's just like, "Well, not feeling it, so [shrug]." She doesn't strike me as much of a deep thinker - I don't think she's stupid, I just think she's not particularly introspective. If she hasn't even held his hand at this point, it's not going to happen. They do seem like they have fun together so maybe they'll end up friends.

I'm kind of curious about who Molly will eventually end up with, because on paper, it seems like the "experts" gave her what she said she wanted. I'd be curious about what kind of realization she comes to, if any, about the kind of guy she actually needs - she's only newly 25, so she could/will likely learn about herself as she moves through her 20s.

[Lily247]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Molly's not obligated to any physical contact. If she doesn't like him, that's fine. Crazy laugh, fugly feet, whatever it is, but she needs to stop talking babies unless she's planning on IVF.

Heather may have given Derek's ego a big owie by cutting out early, but at least he wasn't given any false hope.

Either that or they're playing along as per the contract, going for the year anniversary divorce bonus bucks.

Right, if she's not feeling it with him, she doesn't have to touch him at all, but she should be honest with him and not string him along by saying that maybe one day she will be attracted to him, as it's quite obvious that it will never happen. Even after he made a romantic dinner for her and she decided to wear a red wig, for what reason I don't know, she seemed so touched and pleased but no affection. If that didnt elicit even holding his hand, I'm pretty sure nothing will. By the way, their bodies kind of look mismatched together, even though they are kind of the same height she just looks to be a lot taller than him, it might be an illusion. 

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV podcast on the episode!

Married At First Sight Pushes Jephte Back Into His Emotional Hiding Place

Does Jephte refuse to let Shawniece look at his phone because he has something to hide, or because producers told him to? We try to figure it out on the latest Bride & Doom podcast!

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Lily247 said:

Even after he made a romantic dinner for her and she decided to wear a red wig, for what reason I don't know, she seemed so touched and pleased but no affection.

Same reason as for the phone shenanigans & circus acts next week - production.  I almost can't blame the Show at this point because if they didn't incite these two what would actually be happening worth watching? They're definitely not the most compelling MAFS coupling (zzzzz).  If she didn't wear the wig & tell Jon to go fuck himself (an ironic choice of words considering) she'd hardly seem alive.

Edited March 16, 2018 by gonecrackers

[Gem 10]

4 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

"Tea" is a choice!!" you said.     ....Yes, and so is getting married at first sight. She made a commitment. So did Jon. In fact, Jon gave up his job to find 'the woman of his dreams' --and it's actually turned out to be the woman of his nightmares!

This is why "Marriage at First Sight" doesn't work.  It's like meeting a stranger on the subway and going home with them.  You don't know what they are about.  And the counsellors, no matter how much work they did on these matches  still do not make a good match.  These couples might as well go on a dating site.

[bichonblitz]

23 hours ago, lezlers said:

I was so damn confused at that entire conversation, seemingly out of nowhere.  Did Jon tell her NOT to do her nails?  WTF?  I get what the expert was saying, but how was that currently a problem that needed to be addressed?  Molly is CLEARLY not losing herself in the relationship, since the Ice Queen has been keeping Jon at a distance this whole time anyway, despite him giving her everything she's asked for.  She got her parking space, her giant closet, she gets her nails and hair done, what's the issue here?  It's probably do to editing but I was REALLY confused. 

Don't forget she got him to get rid of his cat which he loved dearly (hopefully temporarily) which is the primary reason I hate her. 

[Gem 10]

13 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Don't forget she got him to get rid of his cat which he loved dearly (hopefully temporarily) which is the primary reason I hate her. 

Don't worry.  The cat has been back a long time.  I saw Dawns whole body lying on the floor in their apartment when the therapist was interviewing them.   He probably brought the cat back when Molly turned cold, which was pretty quick.

[lezlers]

8 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

If this were a normal marriage where they knew each other before, I think this would carry more weight. Molly signed up for this experiment but there’s simply no way to control for attraction. She can’t help it if she doesn’t want to have sex with him (and I suspect on some level she’s a little afraid of him). If Jon wanted guaranteed sex he should’ve signed up for a hooker. 

Others have mentioned that they don’t get why she can’t at least be affectionate with him. My guess is that he would take any cuddling, kissing, etc. as an opening, and if she declined to go further, he’d become even more irate, accusing her of being a tease and giving him the fictional “blue balls.” I don’t think moderate physical contact would placate Jon, so much as it would further enrage him. The snide way he gets with her so quickly, almost out of nowhere, is very scary to me. 

Students at my college have to undergo Title IX training about sexual crimes and consent as part of orientation. They watch a video that uses the metaphor of offering someone a cup of tea for sex. Jon needs to watch that video. Even if someone says they’d like to come over for a cup of tea, and you start brewing the tea, they can still change their mind and decline the tea, and you can’t pour it down their throats anyway.  Nobody has to drink tea, no matter what they ordered from the menu, and you can’t hold it against them. TEA IS A CHOICE!! 

See, I'm not really seeing what you are with Jon.  Yes, he comes across as frustrated, but I'm really not seeing this menacing, scary guy that you're perceiving.  He was a bit of a jerk with his complaining about it on this episode (I was totally with him kind of mocking Molly acting like she was just SO devoted to this marriage, she's forgetting herself because THAT was ridiculous, right up until he got into the sex stuff.  I actually put my hands over my eyes and said "noooooooo dude!") but nothing about his actions have come across as threatening to me.   Quite the opposite, actually.   He's come across (to me, anyway) as being very respectful of Molly and has taken great pains not to push her.  But she never misses an opportunity to tell him she's not attracted to him, yet wants to keep stringing him along with the "attraction might grow" b.s.   If I were him I would've cut my losses already and just gotten out of there (yeah yeah, there's that pesky unemployment thing...).  There will be PLENTY of women interested in him when this "experiment" is over.

[Gem 10]

There are so many single women out there.  I'm wondering why Jon had to resort to a show as this to find a wife and to quit his job to boot.

[Shelly1234]

7 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

There are so many single women out there.  I'm wondering why Jon had to resort to a show as this to find a wife and to quit his job to boot.

There are so many single women who would take a guy much worse than Jon in a heartbeat.  I too am baffled why he went on this show.

[lezlers]

7 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

She made the commitment in good faith, presumably, but I doubt she signed a contract promising to have sex no matter what. That’s probably not even legal. Again, she can’t help it that she’s not attracted to him. I’m not, either.  He’s got a mean side that really scares me, and being hounded and guilted and raged at would not put me in the mood.  

This is a crazy experiment that makes for (sometimes) entertaining TV precisely because it’s such a gamble. You cannot predict whether people will be attracted to each other. On top of that, it’s increasingly clear that matches are made more on their potential for drama than for success. It’s a miracle any have ever worked out. 

It’s astounding to me how many people (especially women!) think Molly should just put out because she signed a marriage license to a stranger. It doesn’t reconcile with my understanding of feminism or personal agency or bodily autonomy at all. I don’t recall people being this hard on Danielle last season and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because she was more sympathetic as a dumpy brunette, and/or that Cody was much less of an alpha male. 

 No one has said Molly has to have sex with him because she signed up for the show.  People are turning on her because she's clearly stringing him along with her "attraction will grow!" stuff.   They've been together every day for a month.  If it hasn't grown yet, it's not going to. Molly kind of reminds me of the girl who knows a guy likes her and despite not liking him back, keeps stringing him along because she likes the attention.  I was that girl (and I'm not proud of it) many, many moons ago.   It's not a nice thing to do.