S06.E03: The Newlyweds

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, Lily247 said:

I dont think Vanessa explicitly peed with the door open, but I remember her telling Trey that she really wanted to share a bathroom with him because it would be more intimate than to continue using separate bathrooms. Which is totally true, sharing a bathroom consistently is super intimate, however not in the best way I think. By sharing a bathroom I mean simply both partners using the same bathroom in the home as their own, not necessarily peeing in front of each other. But let me tell you - the fastest way to lose that "spark" is to share a bathroom and learn all about your partner's habits, such as stinking up the bathroom before you take your shower, hearing their bathroom habits from the other side of the door; stains inside the toilet bowl, etc. Now very few cohabitating couples use separate bathrooms but honestly that would be ideal. LOL. 

My friend and her husband got separate bathrooms when they bought their house and she was like "WE WILL NEVER SHARE A BATHROOM AGAIN." I am totally Team Separate Bathrooms If The Home Allows For It. Another friend of mine said her mother told her when she married that the secret to a happy marriage is separate bathrooms (which Friend and her husband have).

I live alone and never close my bathroom door because for what? No one is going to walk in. But when I have guests, of COURSE I close the door. I totally agree that Shawniece is trying to force intimacy right out of the gate, as though the fact that they're married allows them to skip over all the getting-to-know-you stuff.

[gonecrackers]

Jephte seemed to open up more to Shawniece's family than to her, & sat on the opposite side of the table from his new wife at the brunch.

I don't believe the lap dance happened at the wedding itself. It was filmed at a separate time for Pastor Cal drama. Jephte's mom didn't show any real repulsion from supposedly watching her son trying not be aroused in public.

Then the flight delay - like these two really needed that. They're stuck trudging into Jamaica together after a rough start, not even an essentials kit between them; such a cruel twist.

I'm not AA but a curly mess, & know it'd be difficult to keep a sparkling personality lacking the proper hair gel.

I feel for them.

[Blissfool]

On 1/17/2018 at 8:17 PM, Kareem said:

Doesn't matter if Shawniece wears her natural hair, someone else's hair or his hair.   The interesting thing about her is that she looks so completely different all the time - glasses or no glasses, make up or no make up, different hairstyles, wedding dress v. casual, since the first episode.  She could be a spy.  She looks that different.  Loved when she said she was taking off the Love & Hip Hop face.  She's a cutie.  With quirks.  

Thus she'll forever be a stranger to Jephte. She always looks different. He probably does a double-take every time she enters the room.

I say all this in jest, of course.

 

23 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Molly morning after just waking up 'all natural without makeup' - has freshly washed & straightened hair, dark eyeliner, curled, lengthened eyelashes...

Those lashes! I'm surprised no one has commented about them. They practically scratch my face every time she blinks.

 

23 hours ago, kira28 said:

 I once had a 2nd date with a guy like Shawniece. He was a cop I'd known beciase I worked with his mom. He'd just gotten divorced. We went to dinner for our 1st date and for our 2nd I invited him to watch a movie at my house. He was probably nervous. He knew I was an introvert and very laid back. I told him when he got there thst I move very slow and we were talking getting to know each other stuff and I started to relax. Then he started talking about sexual stuff and while I'm no prude and have no problem discussing sex with someone I want to be intimate with or am intimate with.. Its not my cup of tea to discuss it with someone I barely know. I tried to shut down the conversation and he didn't take the hint. He tried to kiss me, an awful kiss and then talked about how he wanted to lose weight asked how much I weighed then told me how much he thought I weighed  lol, then told me his ass was firm and grabbedy hand to try to make me feel his butt. Just weird and uncomfortable and odd. He also talked about his ex wife in ways I didn't want to hear about her supposed lack of hygiene and thst when we'd kissed he got a boner. He was so high energy so obnoxious and clearly wasn't listening to anything I'd said indicating I wanted to take things slow, thst I couldn't wait to get him out of my house!! 

My gosh! Was his name Aziz Ansari?

Sorry, couldn't help it.?

 

23 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Ryan: What's your favorite movie?

Jackie: P.S. I Love You

Ryan: Did you just hear a loud whoosh?

 Bro...that was the sound of you missing the first hint about Jackie's dead ex....

I must've heard the loud whoosh too cuz I totally didn't get the reference either. Good catch!

 

12 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Their flight was delayed, they missed their connection, and they lost their luggage. I got the impression that their flight was severely delayed since they got to Jamaica at about 10 PM and one of them said something about missing their first day of their honeymoon. Jephte looked tired and grumpy, which I 100% get in that situation, and Shawniece said something like "Well, here's to your first trip out of the country!" ostensibly trying to lighten the mood, which I also 100% get in that situation. Jephte was like "Yeah, my first trip out of the country," and Shawniece said something like "And it's with me!" and Jephte didn't really respond to that, and Shawniece got mad and said that Jephte didn't even care that he was with her, and that sparked the whole "You're a stranger!" conversation. What probably should have happened is that one of them should have said, "You know what, it's been a really long day. Let's get some sleep and start over in the morning."

Shawniece also goes to the bathroom with the door open, which Jephte doesn't appear to care for. Team Jephte on that.

I thought he did respond...something to the effect of "it was hoooorrible!" Of course he meant the flight, not her, but she took it the wrong way.

 

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Molly said Jon is a sweater...one who perspires or a knitted garment?

I thought that was very random Molly TH comment.

 

I think producers specifically asked them for anything negative they learned overnight because they all has a negative answer.

Molly said John  is a sweater. (I use the term sweathog.)

Ryan said Jackie hogs the bed.

Jackie said Ryan talks in his sleep.

Jephte said Shawniece pees with the door open.

Can't remember the other comments.

 

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

What is this about, "you're a stranger, stranger, stranger!"  Jephte would drive me crazy and I think I'm a pretty patient person.  

His mom is overprotective. It seems she really stressed the "stranger danger" idea when he was young.

Edited January 19, 2018 by Blissfool

[Adeejay]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

Now I'm going to say something very PI, but I've met many Haitians and West Africans who think they are better than Black Americans; which confuses me because Black Americans suffered, died and built the country they want to live in (went to the National Museum in DC and I learned A LOT). Maybe Jephte thinks he's better than his wife.

Perhaps Shawniece just isn't Jep's type.  It's no secret that black men prefer "thickums" - women with "meat on their bones."  Shawniece while cute and seemingly nice, is petite and flat chested.  I have a feeling Jep would have been fine with a woman like Vanessa. 

[sarkygal]

All I could think was how Jephte and Shawniece's dynamic would be viewed if the genders were reversed. There's nothing wrong with Jephte feeling uncomfortable with his stranger wife. Shawniece is completely discounting his opinion, agency and comfort zone. He's her husband, so he's going to have to put out when she's horny. He's her husband so he has to follow along with her intrusions into his physical space (see lap dance and bathroom peeing). When he quietly stated that his job involved children, hinting that a level of discretion would be welcome in their on-camera behaviour, she discounted that and continued to talk about her sexual needs just hours/minutes into meeting him.

 

Now reverse the genders and we wouldn't call it thirsty or quirky behaviour. It's disturbing. She's not willing to earn or grow real intimacy. She's one of those people who thinks marriage means your partner has to take whatever you dish out. I get his calling stranger. If a man I'd known for less than 36 hours tried any of that, I'd be screaming stranger too, ring or not.  

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

My friend and her husband got separate bathrooms when they bought their house and she was like "WE WILL NEVER SHARE A BATHROOM AGAIN." I am totally Team Separate Bathrooms If The Home Allows For It. Another friend of mine said her mother told her when she married that the secret to a happy marriage is separate bathrooms (which Friend and her husband have).

I live alone and never close my bathroom door because for what? No one is going to walk in. But when I have guests, of COURSE I close the door. I totally agree that Shawniece is trying to force intimacy right out of the gate, as though the fact that they're married allows them to skip over all the getting-to-know-you stuff.

I really don't get this bathroom stuff.  What does sharing a bathroom have anything to do with marriage?  If a couple want to take a shower everyday together then get it on, then they should share the bathroom.   Otherwise, if it's just brushing your teeth together, I don't get the point.  That's considered intimacy?  The husband  and I  had three kids and one bathroom in the beginning.  No one went in together.  Then we always had two bathrooms after that and no one went in together.  Bathroom business is private.   I never left the door open and I am married a long time.  It may look nice on Fifty Shades, but not in my house.  Maybe a shower together, alone, on vacation, but that's it .. Maybe.  I even think giving birth is private.  I have asked a lot of men who have witnessed the birth of their children and they all felt pressured to see it.  Not one of them wanted to.   Now we have the whole family in the room, in laws, parents, friends taking videos while the patient has legs spread screaming, sometimes crapping on the floor, etc. Ridiculous, but everyone is entitled to their opinion and I respect that.

[PityFree]

25 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

Perhaps Shawniece just isn't Jep's type.  It's no secret that black men prefer "thickums" - women with "meat on their bones."  Shawniece while cute and seemingly nice, is petite and flat chested.  I have a feeling Jep would have been fine with a woman like Vanessa. 

No, not all black men have the same preferences. Just like not like not all Hispanic/Asian/white/whatever/etc. men have the same preferences.

[Gobears]

On 1/17/2018 at 1:37 PM, answerphone said:

I wonder if any of the participants, current and past seasons, have been virgins?  Just a thought...

And what if one of the new wives got pregnant? I assume they're using double birth control (pills and condoms) if they choose to have sex.

During season 4, they considered and disqualified a woman from consideration because she was a virgin so I'm going to say no.

I agree with everyone who is saying that Jonathan & Molly had sex but are hiding it. Otherwise, that conversation about them waking up in the middle of the night didn't make sense at all.

7 hours ago, glitterpussy said:

OMG, totally. If I was his family member I'd be PISSED. They showed his picture and everything. 

I hope Jaclyn discussed and got her late boyfriend's family's approval before discussing his death on TV/showing his picture.

[Jack Sampson]

I can't believe Jackie had sex.  I thought the memory of her dead boyfriend would lead her to a convent.  Glad they're getting along.

 

If they didn't have sex, what woke Jon and Molly up for 2 hours in the middle of the night?

 

Jeff is about as suited to this show as Trashly.  I'm calling it right now that there's someone else.  Shawniece (sp?) is a honest girl with no filter.  She's refreshing considering a lot of people on this show.  She's all-in and got matched with a dude who is less than 25%-in.  Too bad for her.

[Evil Queen]

On 1/17/2018 at 3:10 PM, gonecrackers said:

I'm disappointed Jamie isn't interviewing the participants, but rather the TV schmucks 'experts'.

At least they have an appropriate chair for Pepper where her feet actually hit the floor.

"Pastor" Cal has a bit of a potty mouth; they had to bleep him once already. His socks are making me dizzy - & he needs to unbutton his jacket; I'm waiting for it to pop.

So would Cal want the lap dance from his wife or Shawniece? 

So he had at least one bleep now too? Seriously the guy needs to drop Pastor from his name. I'm not religious at all but the guy is giving Pastors a bad name IMO for so many damn reasons. To hear they are doing the Unflitered interviews...I don't like Jamie but this seems to be more of a bad idea with having those idiots do it. 

 

On 1/17/2018 at 3:23 PM, Deni said:

For those who mentioned Shauneice’s hair change at the honeymoon. I agree with the poster who said that all she did was wet her hair. It was flat ironed for the wedding. Yes, she has been seen in wigs, but that (at the honeymoon) is what her real hair looks like growing out of her head. Black woman are often shamed for wearing wigs and weaves, then when they “wear” their own hair, it is like a catch 22.

I'm not black but agree. I will say I loved how she looked with the natural hair like that and no makeup. I am glad she did that. There is no reason for her to be shamed for it. Or any other women that doesn't hide their natural look no matter what color they are or what kind of hair they have. It seems like its more work then its worth to be that way too.

 

On 1/17/2018 at 3:33 PM, 2727 said:

When Jephte and Shawniece were talking to Jessica, I really hope she took the time offscreen to explain to him what "getting to know someone" means. Like, to a second-grader: Stop cringing away. Look her in the eye. Ask a question. Listen to her answer. Respond.

I'm so sick of the "it's hard for me to open up" excuse from these dolts.

Some direct talk with Shawniece about her tendency to overpower everyone in the vicinity would have been good, too.

This is from an interview with Jephte on why he applied: "So I thought this would be a great opportunity to hopefully have the experts find someone who was made just for me! Can you imagine cutting out the leg work and being gifted with a woman who was matched for you?! I had to at least take a shot at it!"

He also mentioned that he'd never seen the show.

Sigh, These poor sods. They'd have about the same success rate picking someone to marry at random off the street as these "experts" do. But we were matched for a reason! Sure, TV ratings.

Remember that all we are seeing is a joke of editing to make it all however the producers want the viewers to see it as to tell the "story" the producers want. Which is not always the real story as we have found out in he past. Its all for the ratings with what is done. 

 

On 1/17/2018 at 3:41 PM, Soup333 said:

 

I expected Shawniece, as a hairdresser, to think about the honeymoon right after the wedding and plan a hairstyle where she wouldn’t have to deal with her hair every day. This is the fifth season of this show. Not everyone gets sent to an island, but there’s always plenty of opportunity for physical activity. Braids or twists would have been perfect. 

Why though? Why should she have to do that to her hair? The thing with her is she will probably either be going natural hair or one of her many wigs. I don't think there is a reason she should go braids or twists thought. Why is it she should have planned a hairstyle she didn't have to deal with it every day but the others shouldn't? I know that her hair is different from a white person's but she seems to handle her hair pretty well since she is a hairdresser.  

 

On 1/17/2018 at 6:17 PM, Kareem said:

Doesn't matter if Shawniece wears her natural hair, someone else's hair or his hair.   The interesting thing about her is that she looks so completely different all the time - glasses or no glasses, make up or no make up, different hairstyles, wedding dress v. casual, since the first episode.  She could be a spy.  She looks that different.  Loved when she said she was taking off the Love & Hip Hop face.  She's a cutie.  With quirks.  

I think she will have plenty more looks as the season goes on since she is going to want to remind viewers of her wig making business. Which there was a wig she had on in a TH and it was not a nice looking one IMO. LOL at the spy. 

 

On 1/17/2018 at 7:16 PM, gonecrackers said:

Maybe it was a practice condom, since he's 'not used to' wearing them.

Molly morning after just waking up 'all natural without makeup' - has freshly washed & straightened hair, dark eyeliner, curled, lengthened eyelashes... I wish I could wake up that 'natural' looking.

Jacklyn wins for 'most natural' with the just off the pillow look. Ryan is still excited.

This is nothing new. Obviously all their "waking up" scenes are filmed after the women put makeup on and hair down. It was that way in the past as well. Nothing new there. A few will not do it but come off more natural. Yet its one of the things I can't stand because it shows the fake with the show IMO. 

 

On 1/17/2018 at 7:40 PM, gonecrackers said:

Jephte doesn't do well with strangers... or maybe just not the one who talks about her masturbating habit & rubs her ass all over his dick at their wedding in front of family members & a TV audience.

That will be a hard first impression to beat, for Jephte.

Meanwhile, Shawniece is kicking herself for not packing her 'toys'...

OMG I am laughing so much at this. LMAO 

 

4 hours ago, Neurochick said:

She'll be jealous of anyone married to an actual living, breathing human being.  I don't know what planet her "stranger" husband is from, but I don't believe it's Earth.

I know that I said that Shawniece is thirsty and she is, but what's Jephte, the teacher, is annoying the shit out of me.  He isn't reserved, because a reserved person wouldn't go on a reality show to get married; he's just plain rude.

Now I'm going to say something very PI, but I've met many Haitians and West Africans who think they are better than Black Americans; which confuses me because Black Americans suffered, died and built the country they want to live in (went to the National Museum in DC and I learned A LOT). Maybe Jephte thinks he's better than his wife.

I find her to be rude for not hearing that he is a teacher and chilling on the masturbation talk and then went to lap dance him like she did. That was rude and disrespectful behavior on her part. 

I don't think Jephte thinks he is better then her. I think he got turned off by her behavior and talk during their wedding and after. She disregarded what he said to her about his job and the kind of talk. IMO she should have more respect for herself as well. 

3 hours ago, Blissfool said:

I think producers specifically asked them for anything negative they learned overnight because they all has a negative answer.

Molly said John  is a sweater. (I use the term sweathog.)

Ryan said Jackie hogs the bed.

Jackie said Ryan talks in his sleep.

Jephte said Shawniece pees with the door open.

Can't remember the other comments.

 

Of course that is what gets edited. LOL Hell the previews at the end of the first episode was all negative. Nothing good in them at all. Just fighting and tears. Its all this show wants to push. SMH

 

2 hours ago, sarkygal said:

All I could think was how Jephte and Shawniece's dynamic would be viewed if the genders were reversed. There's nothing wrong with Jephte feeling uncomfortable with his stranger wife. Shawniece is completely discounting his opinion, agency and comfort zone. He's her husband, so he's going to have to put out when she's horny. He's her husband so he has to follow along with her intrusions into his physical space (see lap dance and bathroom peeing). When he quietly stated that his job involved children, hinting that a level of discretion would be welcome in their on-camera behaviour, she discounted that and continued to talk about her sexual needs just hours/minutes into meeting him.

 

Now reverse the genders and we wouldn't call it thirsty or quirky behaviour. It's disturbing. She's not willing to earn or grow real intimacy. She's one of those people who thinks marriage means your partner has to take whatever you dish out. I get his calling stranger. If a man I'd known for less than 36 hours tried any of that, I'd be screaming stranger too, ring or not.  

This is what I have said as well! If it was reversed some would be screaming to the hills and back at the kind of guy he must be for it all. Yet her behavior is suppose to be ok and he is suppose to just do what she wants? And yes the are still STRANGERS! Shouldn't be saying that after a week of course but this show just likes to reuse scenes and words said. At the end of the day though, Shawneice has no one but herself to blame for Jepthe not being into her. She ruined the chance she had when she disrespected him.

[princelina]

6 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Monet & Vanessa peed with the door open?

I don't think Sheila did, but that will forever be the season they tried to ruin chocolate for me. Didn't work though.

 

6 hours ago, Lily247 said:

I dont think Vanessa explicitly peed with the door open, but I remember her telling Trey that she really wanted to share a bathroom with him because it would be more intimate than to continue using separate bathrooms. Which is totally true, sharing a bathroom consistently is super intimate, however not in the best way I think. By sharing a bathroom I mean simply both partners using the same bathroom in the home as their own, not necessarily peeing in front of each other. But let me tell you - the fastest way to lose that "spark" is to share a bathroom and learn all about your partner's habits, such as stinking up the bathroom before you take your shower, hearing their bathroom habits from the other side of the door; stains inside the toilet bowl, etc. Now very few cohabitating couples use separate bathrooms but honestly that would be ideal. LOL. 

 

6 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Monet...first ex wife of Vaughn

Thank you!  I kept thinking Monique or Monette - I knew they weren't quite right!

Monet felt that was the most wonderful thing she wanted to experience - someone who would pick her wedgies and go to the bathroom in front of each other.  Remember when she squatted to pee in a parking garage or something and Vaughn held her hand to keep her from falling over - she said that was her best married moment!

And of course I still giggle at Trey's befuddled, "So we're supposed to use the rest room in front of each other?" hehehe

[Neurochick]

Why doesn’t Jepthe just tell Shawnice what he likes and doesn’t like, instead of complaining to the cameraman?

As for the genders being reversed, they aren’t.  I am only commenting on what is, not what might or could be.  If I was taller I could be a supermodel, but I’m not, so there it is.  

[humbleopinion]

Agree, Jephte needs to stop using the crew as his sounding board.

Jephte... the producers aren't going to save you...they want your circumstances to spiral downward because it makes for good TV.

[Lily247]

8 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

I can't believe Jackie had sex.  I thought the memory of her dead boyfriend would lead her to a convent.  Glad they're getting along.

 

If they didn't have sex, what woke Jon and Molly up for 2 hours in the middle of the night?

 

Jeff is about as suited to this show as Trashly.  I'm calling it right now that there's someone else.  Shawniece (sp?) is a honest girl with no filter.  She's refreshing considering a lot of people on this show.  She's all-in and got matched with a dude who is less than 25%-in.  Too bad for her.

I agree that Jephte probably has a real-life girlfriend and only did this show for whatever reason. 

[Lily247]

Unfortunately with this show, there is a lot of manufactured drama from people who ARE NOT PROFESSIONAL ACTORS, thereby making it all just a little hard to believe. The way they all stated flatly their new spouse's sleeping habits "Jon is a sweater." "Ryan talks in his sleep." "Jaclyn is a blanket hog." It sounded like they all came up with random statements to make at producers' urging in order to bring some interest and highloght the fact that here are perfectly normal strangers spending an awkward night together.

As a side note: Has it occured to anyone just how crazy the thought of it is to willingly spend the night in a hotel room with one bed with a strange man you've never met ???!! I get it that there are background checks etc. But really - to sleep in the same bed with a strange guy, you would have to build a certain amount of trust there. What if he forced himself on her ? (I know the same could happen in reverse, but I'm focusing on the idea that the guy could totally rape her when the camera crew leaves. ) 

[Soup333]

7 hours ago, Evil Queen said:

Why though? Why should she have to do that to her hair? The thing with her is she will probably either be going natural hair or one of her many wigs. I don't think there is a reason she should go braids or twists thought. Why is it she should have planned a hairstyle she didn't have to deal with it every day but the others shouldn't? I know that her hair is different from a white person's but she seems to handle her hair pretty well since she is a hairdresser.  

 

I never said she HAD to do anything. Shawniece could do anything she wants to her hair and maybe since she's a beautician, it'll be easier for her to throw together a quick style than it would be for a low maintenance layperson (like me). And who cares about the others. She doesn't have the same hair as the other two girls so there's no equal comparison here. They are in Jamaica, so I'm assuming there will be swimming, hiking, biking and/or plenty of other physical activity. Yeah, she could wear her natural hair through all of that but she could also have chosen braids, twists, a wig or a weave and not have to deal with the headache of styling it IF she chooses. 

 

There are so many generalizations in these comments it's not even funny. Black men prefer this, Caribbean folk feel like this - it's ridiculous. I do think Jephte and Shawneice are not compatible. Just because they're both from large black families doesn't mean it'll be a slam dunk and that girl is adorable, but she presses waaayyyyy too hard. During the conversation about him traveling out of the country for the first time, Jephte said something like, "Here we go again." As in, she's doing that thing where she talks about how married we fucking are like I don't already know. He's at this level of exasperation/annoyance within ONE day of meeting her. 

Someone else said she's trying to force familiarity into this relationship and I agree. They ARE strangers and that might be why he continues to say it instead of saying something like, "Girl, chill the fuck out. Please." 

I do not think Jephte has a stick up his ass, is too shy to have tried out for the show or is a male version of Ashley's Bitchbot 3000. I think he expected someone with a personality like Clair Huxtable (or even Jay Kyle) and he got Roseanne Conner. There's nothing wrong with a brash personality if your SO is into that, but he doesn't seem to be OR maybe he would have warmed up to her if she wasn't trying so so goddamn hard.

[humbleopinion]

 You forget the extensive vetting process.

You open yourself to scrutiny...personal, financial, emotional.

The show will pair you with a lousy match but to intentionally put you in personal danger...no.

Edited January 19, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Gurkel]

On 1/16/2018 at 11:38 PM, Gem 10 said:

I agree that Shawneice is over the top and Jephte is reserved so didn't the experts see this when they matched them?  Any fool can see that they didn't belong together.  Maybe the lap dance was scripted so it would turn him off and make him the bad guy on the honeymoon or her the"crazy person".  I just don't know what's scripted or not anymore.  All I know is the girl was going on her honeymoon and was so dejected and sad it was pathetic, you know?  Whether it's real or producer driven it still sucks.  I have a love/hate relationship with this show.

I’m sure the producers were salivating at the idea of putting these two together and watching the drama unfold. Maybe I’m too cynical after watching ‘UnReal,’ but I can imagine a producer encouraging Shawniece to be bold and sexual to help bring Jepthe out of his shell. All while knowing this would be a huge turn-off for him. 

And, Shawniece, will you please stop crying?? Not every single emotional moment warrants tears. 

 

On 1/17/2018 at 7:47 AM, Jassie99 said:

Is she making mistakes? Yes. But she is trying and honestly I do feel bad for her. Why the hell did Jep do this show? His whole "I don't do well with strangers. You're a stranger." spiel makes no sense when he literally signed up to MARRY a stranger. I love when she said he's not even acting like he's interested in being on a FIRST date with her. He's making no effort to be even be a friend towards her.  I just don't get how the guy so excited to get chosen could be THIS reserved and standoffish unless he's just not attracted to her in the least.  I mean I just felt for her from go as she's  obviously all in on the commitment part (maybe a little too much) and had ideas of what marriage is ala Ryan and he is giving her NOTHING...

 

...This brings me to something I hate having to discuss but again its hit on the head for  me. We have Mona (S1,,I think that;s her name),, Vanessa, Shelia and now Shawniece as the only AA women being cast for this show.  Four couples out of what 18 and every woman is portrayed as over emotional wrecks with guys who want nothing to do with them (Nate had me fooled). I'm all for diversity and would love to see black love in all its glory but if one can't find men on this show who want to be married then just stop. Its such a messy narrative portrayed time after time.  Its insulting and completely misleading.  Not saying these women were angels and the men are evil but the narrative EVERY TIME for AA is the same. I had hope for J&S after watching the matchmaking episode again he was so excited and maybe they "make it" but I am so sick of this narrative. Most black women are NOT desperate, over emotional and hanging on for dear life for any man to love them. MAFS needs to stop with the BS.

Loved your entire post. I also think Shawniece can make an effort to try to get to get to know who Jepthe is as a person, not just a talk glass of water with a penis who will help quench her 14-month drought. If they BOTH said, “Let’s pretend we’re on a first date. What do you like to do? What’s your favorite TV show? What is your favorite color, since you brought it up?” Right now they’re feeling the pressure to be head over heels in love and horny, and that’s just not realistic. 

Which is is why I did like the pre-honeymoon sessions, where couples had a chance to bring up some early issues. And I like that the couples are all honeymooning in the same place. It will be good for support and camaraderie. But I also wonder if the couples will compare themselves to one another too much?

Have there ever been interracial couples on the show??

[humbleopinion]

Interracial couplings :

Davina and Sean

Lily and Tom

Sonya and Nick

Jessica and Ryan

Sam (she was from Loonytown) and Neil

Edited January 19, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Gurkel]

11 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Interracial couplings :

Davina and Sean

Lily and Tom

Sonya and Nick

Jessica and Ryan

Sam(she was from Loonytown) and Neil

I just did a spit take all over my iPad. If it gets ruined, humbleopinion, I’m sending you the bill. LOL 

[babyminx]

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I think Shawniece and Jephte are compatible and could develop a solid marriage but they need to hit the reset button right now. 

I'm around Shawniece's age and her actions from the moment she met Jephte screamed THIRSTY. However, I think she is used to doing certain things that are great for attracting fuckbois/ain't shit men/one night stands when she's out at the club, but she's going to have to approach attracting her husband a bit differently. If after the ceremony (when they had alone time before the reception) she had used conversation starters such as, "Where did you grow up and how was that like?" or "What do you like to do in your free time?" or "Where is your favorite place to eat?", I think that they would've had a better start (based off my observation of Jephte's openness during the family brunch when her family asked "getting to know you" questions). 

I also put all my walls up when I feel like somebody is coming on too strong for my liking, so I understand Jephte's reaction to Shawniece's conversation and twerking on him at the reception in front of his traditional family (my grandma is more reserved, so as much I love droppin' it like it's hot, I wouldn't do it in front of her). However, he's in this "experiment" for the next 8 (?) weeks, so he might as well try to make the most of it. He did voice his physical attraction to Shawniece when he saw her coming down the aisle, so I don't think that's a problem.

Even though they are legally married (as the experts keep reminding us of, lest we forget), all of the couples need time to build the emotional committment of marriage. It's like making a new friend - some people just naturally click from the get-go and others are more slow to build from an acquaintance first and then achieve friend status. 

If the "experts" truly cared about making sure these couples find out the reasons why they were matched together, then they would sit and talk with Shawniece and Jephte, separately and together, to help them press the reset button. For Shawniece, they need to tell her that she overwhelmed her husband with her extremely intimate gestures and that she should slow down in order for him to get to know her. For Jephte, they need to tell him that his emotional lockdown is only going to cause his wife to prod harder to get any kind of reaction out of him, so he should open up again and try to ask her some "getting to know you" questions that might possibly prevent her from talking about awkward/inappropriate conversations (or at the very least, save those for when the cameras go away). Then sit them down together and have them verbally argree to put the past 2 episodes behind them and start from a clean slate.

Disclaimer: I'm not a therapist, I just play one from my living room couch. :)

[gonecrackers]

Starting out in 'first date' mode would be excellent for these couples. So what if they're married? They are starting from scratch. Jumping in too much, too soon can hurt the long term.

The spending the night with a stranger is weird, but that's what they signed up for; way too awkward, IMO. Then again the whole damn show is pretty awkward.

Speaking of awkward- Shawniece...  but regarding her hair specifically, I'm not black but do have a naturally curly mess; no lovely spirals & coils here, & it's a high maintenance mess. So I would love the option of doing braids or twists & not have to worry about it. However, it's not my culture, & would not suit me. I do agree it would be a great no fuss (& cute) option for her, especially in that climate, but it's her hair. I just hope her styling products make it to her safely & quickly. I feel her pain.

11 hours ago, Evil Queen said:

So he had at least one bleep now too? Seriously the guy needs to drop Pastor from his name. I'm not religious at all but the guy is giving Pastors a bad name IMO for so many damn reasons. To hear they are doing the Unflitered interviews...I don't like Jamie but this seems to be more of a bad idea with having those idiots do it. 

Maybe I should start counting his bleeps.  At one point he said his 'professional opinion' was 'crap'... or was it, something was 'crap', & that was his 'professional opinion'?  Heh.. I think he actually meant the former.

Edited January 19, 2018 by gonecrackers

[humbleopinion]

On the subject of Newlyweds...did anyone else catch on an earlier show that Dr. Pepper just got married?

No wonder she stepped up her look.

[Pepper Mostly]

17 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Shawniece is thirsty, but WTF Jephte, I mean the other men on the show seem happy to be married, they seem normal.  I don't believe Jephte is reserved at all, I just think he needs surgery to get the stick removed from his anus.  What is this about, "you're a stranger, stranger, stranger!"  Jephte would drive me crazy and I think I'm a pretty patient person.  BTW, if Jephte is upset that Shawniece pees with the door open maybe he should...I don't know...tell her, that's what adults do, they talk their problems out, not just "suffer" in silence.  

I agree. It would not be impossible for him to say gently "I'd be happier if we could be a little more private, at least until we know each other better."

Does he forget what he signed up for? To marry a stranger. On television. NOW he's shocked? The whole point is to find something positive and work from that. There is a very great deal about Shawniece that is good. She is adorable. She is outgoing and bright. She is ambitious and is a go getter. She has a positive attitude. Find something to like, instead of finding fault. Shawniece is far from perfect but she's not a damn leper.

[humbleopinion]

If Shawniece was matched with a groom with the energy and enthusiasm of Ryan then we would have to adjust our TVs to accommodate their combined force field blasting into our living rooms.

Jepthe makes a monk with a vow of silence seem chatty when he is documented having a convo with his wife....mostly one sided convo... Jephte shutting it down with negativity or stone faced nothingness....

[glitterpussy]

15 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Bathroom business is private.   I never left the door open and I am married a long time.  It may look nice on Fifty Shades, but not in my house.  Maybe a shower together, alone, on vacation, but that's it .. Maybe.  I even think giving birth is private.  I have asked a lot of men who have witnessed the birth of their children and they all felt pressured to see it.  Not one of them wanted to.   Now we have the whole family in the room, in laws, parents, friends taking videos while the patient has legs spread screaming, sometimes crapping on the floor, etc. Ridiculous, but everyone is entitled to their opinion and I respect that.

Whoa whoa whoa! I won't speak for all men, but my husband delivered our second son himself, at HIS request. And he's a pretty manly man--ex-Marine.  There was no screaming though, and very little crapping on the floor....lol. I'm not calling you out or anything, your description made me laugh! I'll add that he was deployed for our first son's birth and I delivered him with just my best female friend present which was also lovely.

We also don't have a door on our master bathroom, which I'm sure will horrify everyone, including Jephte.

[Gem 10]

51 minutes ago, glitterpussy said:

Whoa whoa whoa! I won't speak for all men, but my husband delivered our second son himself, at HIS request. And he's a pretty manly man--ex-Marine.  There was no screaming though, and very little crapping on the floor....lol. I'm not calling you out or anything, your description made me laugh! I'll add that he was deployed for our first son's birth and I delivered him with just my best female friend present which was also lovely.

We also don't have a door on our master bathroom, which I'm sure will horrify everyone, including Jephte.

Good for you.  Like I said .. I respect everyone's opinion.  My son, a New York City fireman, also an Iraq vet, has seen births, etc.. But could not see his kids delivered so there are all kinds and all situations.  Xo

[Gem 10]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

On the subject of Newlyweds...did anyone else catch on an earlier show that Dr. Pepper just got married?

No wonder she stepped up her look.

Yes, I did.  She also doesn't live with him as they both want to stay in their own homes, and probably keep the money separate as they both have children.   At this point, why even get married?  I don't get it.

[Gem 10]

4 hours ago, babyminx said:

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I think Shawniece and Jephte are compatible and could develop a solid marriage but they need to hit the reset button right now. 

I'm around Shawniece's age and her actions from the moment she met Jephte screamed THIRSTY. However, I think she is used to doing certain things that are great for attracting fuckbois/ain't shit men/one night stands when she's out at the club, but she's going to have to approach attracting her husband a bit differently. If after the ceremony (when they had alone time before the reception) she had used conversation starters such as, "Where did you grow up and how was that like?" or "What do you like to do in your free time?" or "Where is your favorite place to eat?", I think that they would've had a better start (based off my observation of Jephte's openness during the family brunch when her family asked "getting to know you" questions). 

I also put all my walls up when I feel like somebody is coming on too strong for my liking, so I understand Jephte's reaction to Shawniece's conversation and twerking on him at the reception in front of his traditional family (my grandma is more reserved, so as much I love droppin' it like it's hot, I wouldn't do it in front of her). However, he's in this "experiment" for the next 8 (?) weeks, so he might as well try to make the most of it. He did voice his physical attraction to Shawniece when he saw her coming down the aisle, so I don't think that's a problem.

Even though they are legally married (as the experts keep reminding us of, lest we forget), all of the couples need time to build the emotional committment of marriage. It's like making a new friend - some people just naturally click from the get-go and others are more slow to build from an acquaintance first and then achieve friend status. 

If the "experts" truly cared about making sure these couples find out the reasons why they were matched together, then they would sit and talk with Shawniece and Jephte, separately and together, to help them press the reset button. For Shawniece, they need to tell her that she overwhelmed her husband with her extremely intimate gestures and that she should slow down in order for him to get to know her. For Jephte, they need to tell him that his emotional lockdown is only going to cause his wife to prod harder to get any kind of reaction out of him, so he should open up again and try to ask her some "getting to know you" questions that might possibly prevent her from talking about awkward/inappropriate conversations (or at the very least, save those for when the cameras go away). Then sit them down together and have them verbally argree to put the past 2 episodes behind them and start from a clean slate.

Disclaimer: I'm not a therapist, I just play one from my living room couch. :)

You may not be a therapist, but you have more sense than those three clowns.  They say the same boring shit  every season and none of their advice has worked as its so vague.

[Lily247]

4 hours ago, glitterpussy said:

Whoa whoa whoa! I won't speak for all men, but my husband delivered our second son himself, at HIS request. And he's a pretty manly man--ex-Marine.  There was no screaming though, and very little crapping on the floor....lol. I'm not calling you out or anything, your description made me laugh! I'll add that he was deployed for our first son's birth and I delivered him with just my best female friend present which was also lovely.

We also don't have a door on our master bathroom, which I'm sure will horrify everyone, including Jephte.

My husband LITERALLY ran out of the room with his arms in front of him during the delivery of our first. Even though I told him to stay by my head and not look down between my legs, and he was pretty frightened. The rest of the births I had my sister and BFF in the room with me. 

[crgirl412]

6 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

On the subject of Newlyweds...did anyone else catch on an earlier show that Dr. Pepper just got married?

No wonder she stepped up her look.

SHUT UP!!!  Are you sure that's what was said??  That's interesting!!  I wonder if it's her first or second or third... 

They live in separate houses???  That's not normal at all.  Separate bathrooms and even separate bedrooms are ok but houses are not. 

Edited January 20, 2018 by crgirl412

[gonecrackers]

22 minutes ago, crgirl412 said:

They live in separate houses???  That's not normal at all.  Separate bathrooms and even separate bedrooms are ok but houses are not. 

Pepper must really need her personal space, or maybe he does.

Edited January 20, 2018 by gonecrackers

[humbleopinion]

She has horses and maybe her groom doesn't want to live on a horse farm...

Groom and groomer....husband and horse husband....

How the hell does she get herself on a horse?...miniature horse perhaps....her short legs can't reach the stirrups....

[gonecrackers]

Pepper on a horse

[humbleopinion]

Pepper on her High Horse....

[Annamz]

9 hours ago, babyminx said:

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I think Shawniece and Jephte are compatible and could develop a solid marriage but they need to hit the reset button right now. 

I'm around Shawniece's age and her actions from the moment she met Jephte screamed THIRSTY. However, I think she is used to doing certain things that are great for attracting fuckbois/ain't shit men/one night stands when she's out at the club, but she's going to have to approach attracting her husband a bit differently. If after the ceremony (when they had alone time before the reception) she had used conversation starters such as, "Where did you grow up and how was that like?" or "What do you like to do in your free time?" or "Where is your favorite place to eat?", I think that they would've had a better start (based off my observation of Jephte's openness during the family brunch when her family asked "getting to know you" questions). 

I also put all my walls up when I feel like somebody is coming on too strong for my liking, so I understand Jephte's reaction to Shawniece's conversation and twerking on him at the reception in front of his traditional family (my grandma is more reserved, so as much I love droppin' it like it's hot, I wouldn't do it in front of her). However, he's in this "experiment" for the next 8 (?) weeks, so he might as well try to make the most of it. He did voice his physical attraction to Shawniece when he saw her coming down the aisle, so I don't think that's a problem.

Even though they are legally married (as the experts keep reminding us of, lest we forget), all of the couples need time to build the emotional committment of marriage. It's like making a new friend - some people just naturally click from the get-go and others are more slow to build from an acquaintance first and then achieve friend status. 

If the "experts" truly cared about making sure these couples find out the reasons why they were matched together, then they would sit and talk with Shawniece and Jephte, separately and together, to help them press the reset button. For Shawniece, they need to tell her that she overwhelmed her husband with her extremely intimate gestures and that she should slow down in order for him to get to know her. For Jephte, they need to tell him that his emotional lockdown is only going to cause his wife to prod harder to get any kind of reaction out of him, so he should open up again and try to ask her some "getting to know you" questions that might possibly prevent her from talking about awkward/inappropriate conversations (or at the very least, save those for when the cameras go away). Then sit them down together and have them verbally argree to put the past 2 episodes behind them and start from a clean slate.

Disclaimer: I'm not a therapist, I just play one from my living room couch. :)

I just have one thing to say...

 

AMEN!!! She's a cute girl and I wouldn't be surprised if they outlast the other couples, I just think she needs to tone it down and realize why he might be so reserved considering his occupation.

[topanga]

5 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

You may not be a therapist, but you have more sense than those three clowns.  They say the same boring shit  every season and none of their advice has worked as its so vague.

The thing is, I don’t think the experts are allowed to truly help the couples. The producers love the drama and that the couple generates. They’ve seen the footage and know what’s going on with Shawniece and Jephte.  The producers are loving it

Edited January 20, 2018 by topanga

[Annamz]

If Shawniece was matched with a groom with the energy and enthusiasm of Ryan then we would have to adjust our TVs to accommodate their combined force field blasting into our living rooms.

Jepthe makes a monk with a vow of silence seem chatty when he is documented having a convo with his wife....mostly one sided convo... Jephte shutting it down with negativity or stone faced nothingness....

I actually think he's always thinking about what exactly is going to be shown on tv. He's an elementary school teacher and IMO he's always thinking about what his students are going to be viewing on him.

[Gurkel]

8 minutes ago, topanga said:

The thing is, I don’t think the experts are allowed to truly help the couples. The producers love the drama and that the couple generates. They’ve seen the footage and know what’s going on with Shawniece and Jephte.  The producers are loving it

Yes. I’m envisioning someone like Quinn from UnReal cackling at the at the TV monitors. 

 

21 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

I can't believe Jackie had sex.  I thought the memory of her dead boyfriend would lead her to a convent.  Glad they're getting along.

 

If they didn't have sex, what woke Jon and Molly up for 2 hours in the middle of the night?

It’ll be interesting whenever Jackie and Ryan have a conversation about the fiancée. If they ever do. 

And, yes, I’m confused. Did Jon and Molly do the do or not?

[crgirl412]

2 minutes ago, Annamz said:

I actually think he's always thinking about what exactly is going to be shown on tv. He's an elementary school teacher and IMO he's always thinking about what his students are going to be viewing on him.

Former elementary school teacher here!  There are certain things that we need to be very, very careful about.  We don't have the "freedom" to do things that others can and not cause huge issues or possibly lose our jobs and/or license.  He knows that and should've thought long and hard about it before doing this show.  That better not be his excuse for everything!  I am now a nurse and have even less freedom on what I can do and not get in major trouble and most likely lose my job and my license.  I am far more scared of my state's Board of Nursing than Board of Education.  All nurses know this and need to live accordingly.        

[humbleopinion]

Jackie's story line is the DeadEx's effect on her marriage to Ryan.

Get ready for the M@FS producers to relentlessly question if she has emotionally moved on...Dr. Jessica apparently gets in on the beat down and yells at her about lying...

 

I am voting no... Jon and Molly did not consummate their marriage on the wedding night.

 How do I know:

Jon would have strained his triceps patting himself on the back.

Bed linens drying on the furniture from his profuse sweating while bow chickie wow wowing....

Molly would have a cat ate the canary grin plastered on her face at the brunch.

[crgirl412]

Didn't Molly still have her wedding dress on and her hair was still in up when they showed her just waking up?

[gonecrackers]

40 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Bed linens drying on the furniture from his profuse sweating while bow chickie wow wowing....

She'll need to keep towels by the bedside at all times to mop up dab his entire body brow.

3 minutes ago, crgirl412 said:

Didn't Molly still have her wedding dress on and her hair was still in up when they showed her just waking up?

Molly's just woken up look was all 'natural', that is, with full makeup, & freshly washed & straightened hair. She's a marvel.

[humbleopinion]

 Molly needs to keep a Joy Miracle Mop made with 300 feet continuous loop of yarn with the spinning bucket and a squeegee to keep him dry enough to continue humping....

[Shelly1234]

Jephte doesn't like Shawniece so their marriage is doomed.  Men are different than women so I don't believe that she will "grow on him".  Taking her makeup off immediately so he could see what she looks like was a weird move.  Even brides who know their husbands don't do that on their wedding nights as you're supposed to have some glamour and mystery. Plus, without makeup and those giant glasses she looks like Oprah and not in a good way, LOL. He doesn't like her and no amount of logical convincing will change that.

[gonecrackers]

6 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

 Molly needs to keep a Joy Miracle Mop made with 300 feet continuous loop of yarn with the spinning bucket and a squeegee to keep him dry enough to continue humping....

May they always have powerful A/C year round.

[humbleopinion]

Wet Vac in the bedroom....so many great wedding gift ideas for the Francetic/Duff registry....at Home Depot...

Edited January 20, 2018 by humbleopinion

[gonecrackers]

He could lay there using a bedfan while she does the work.

[Neurochick]

29 minutes ago, Shelly1234 said:

Jephte doesn't like Shawniece so their marriage is doomed.  Men are different than women so I don't believe that she will "grow on him".  Taking her makeup off immediately so he could see what she looks like was a weird move.  Even brides who know their husbands don't do that on their wedding nights as you're supposed to have some glamour and mystery. Plus, without makeup and those giant glasses she looks like Oprah and not in a good way, LOL. He doesn't like her and no amount of logical convincing will change that.

Did those brides ever take their make up off, or were they like Tami Faye Baker and always sleep with it on?

I don't think Shawniece looks like Oprah at all, because not all black women look alike, and Oprah is about forty years older than Shawniece.

[Kiss my mutt]

I thought Shawniece looked so pretty au naturel and I think Jephte thought so too since he complimented her when she walked out. He’s definitely not the type of guy that says things he doesn’t mean. He’s quite reserved and studied from what I’ve seen.  I’m sure being a teacher also makes him more circumspect about his behavior  

I think he is looking for romance and slower development of feelings than Shawniece. She doesn’t seem to know how to read a room and maybe act a bit demure than in his face already. She doesn’t seem to be all that in to casual sex since she hasn’t had sex in 14 months though. 

I think both of them could change their approach a little bit-she needs to relax and let things happen and he needs to be a little less formal with her. But overall, I don’t think he’s particularly into her  

Ryan gets on my nerves on the show so I can imagine how irritating he’d be in person. He’s not unattractive but he kind of looks worse to me every time I see him. 

From what I gather none of them consummated their marriage on their wedding night though unemployed finance guy was sure ready to hit it.  

I pretty much tune out when the experts start yammering on.