S09.E07: Model Behavior

[WireWrap]

52 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

I do.  I was thinking of all the women I call friends.  Shockingly most (I'd say 80%) are from points south of Maryland.  If Phaedra understood what it was to be a Southern Belle, she wouldn't keep it up.   Traditionally, it described the genteel, proper, well-mannered and innocent daughter of a white land/plantation (and therefore slave) owner.   Fun fact - on a related note, the term belle of the ball refers to this same woman being the star of her presentation cotillion.   Southern women, but especially southern black women, familiar with its meaning, understand the term not to be a compliment.  

 

Sorry I'm late, bottom of my receipt stated I had 90 days.

 

 

Speak.  Everything we've seen of Apollo demonstrates that the man isn't capable of forethought let alone careful consideration.   8 years is a stretch, if there were something he had to offer that would/could help him shorten that sentence, she would've already been measured for her jumpsuit. 

It can all be one big ole cauldron of hypocrisy but, under certain circumstances, divorce is not frowned upon if what caused the covenant(s) to be broken was a (larger) sin.   A premature baby (I see your airquote shade lol) is non negotiable as fornication outside of marriage is always a sin.  

Thanks for the info, I would never have guess she was an LPN! Either she was/is acting stupid or she barely graduated/passed the LPN license test. She only had her license for 4 years, I guess Big Poppa really did pay for everything. LOL

[byrd]

14 hours ago, Aging Goth said:

However, in most black churches a baby born out of wedlock to a MINISTER'S daughter is far more taboo than divorce.

I can remember when the girl was required to stand before the church and ask for forgiveness for her sin of getting  pregnant out of wedlock. I always wondered where the guy was ?  She would have to stand there alone (maybe with parents) but it was as if they did not hold the guy accountable.  These are just personal situations that I remember as a very young child growing up in the black church in Alabama.   

[byrd]

On ‎12‎/‎18‎/‎2016 at 8:06 PM, WireWrap said:

All this because Kandi's feeling were hurt that Phaedra talked to Nene and not her! She, Kandi, really has turned into Joyce,  bitter, controlling and vengeful. Phaedra may be a lot of things but she didn't allow her mother to hound her mother in-law right into the grave, that would be Kandi.

This is why I said Kandi had issues with Phaedra and Nene friendship, if you  look back at that episode, Nene said nothing negative about Kandi at all , neither did Phaedra, she just mentioned that she would have liked Kandi to be there more for her as a friend. Kandi took that conversation to another level out of guilt. It was not about Apollo, it was really about not having your best friend there to support you .  Kandi is a very literal person, Phaedra may have talked to much about her personal business to Kandi and never expected to hear it again,  what kandi saw was Phaedra behaving as if she was okay with Apollo going away and in fact, this behavior let Kandi off the hook of having to support her.  Kandi lacked (or maybe ignored) the ability to look beyond the surface and realize that Phaedra was really scared, she was at risk of losing everything . People speak and act out of pure emotion and 90% of time , they don't mean any of it. What I see when I look and listen to Phaedra is someone what wants to always appear to be in total control of her emotions, ( never appear vulnerable  ) will do or say anything to protect that image, (even when we know the truth )  maintain a professional decorum, and knows how and when to let her hair down.  I am not entirely sure of what else went down between them, but I know they have been friends long enough to know each other very well, the 'GOOD the BAD and the UGLY. 

Edited December 28, 2016 by byrd

[qtpye]

2 hours ago, byrd said:

I can remember when the girl was required to stand before the church and ask for forgiveness for her sin of getting  pregnant out of wedlock. I always wondered where the guy was ?  She would have to stand there alone (maybe with parents) but it was as if they did not hold the guy accountable.  These are just personal situations that I remember as a very young child growing up in the black church in Alabama.

It was because (and I am sure this will not be a surprise to you) is that a young girl was not supposed to have sexual agency.  She was only supposed to have sex after marriage to have children, for the pleasure of her husband and God, as a burden of Eve.  Girls were expected to control their sexual appetites and the appetites of the boys around them.  There were some people in my church who if they heard a girl got raped in a dark alley would say "Why the heck was she in a dark alley, no good Christian girl would be in that situation."

I know this seems ignorant, but for a long time the law books said it was impossible for a husband to rape a wife and we had a politician not too long ago talk about how it was "biologically impossible for a raped woman to become pregnant".

So even though Phaedra seems so progressive, being an attorney with some definite freaky sex tendencies, this type of moralistic shit really stays with you and she probably was really ashamed.

[byrd]

Just now, qtpye said:

It was because (and I am sure this will not be a surprise to you) is that a young girl was not supposed to have sexual agency.  She was only supposed to have sex after marriage to have children, for the pleasure of her husband and God, as a burden of Eve.  Girls were expected to control their sexual appetites and the appetites of the boys around them.  There were some people in my church who if they heard a girl got raped in a dark alley would say "Why the heck was she in a dark alley, no good Christian girl would be in that situation."

I know this seems ignorant, but for a long time the law books said it was impossible for a husband to rape a wife and we had a politician not too long ago talk about how it was "biologically impossible for a raped woman to become pregnant".

So even though Phaedra seems so progressive, being an attorney with some definite freaky sex tendencies, this type of moralistic shit really stays with you and she probably was really ashamed.

Yes, how very right you are, I had a friend who was 10 years old and was molested by a man in the community and her grandmother whipped her and blamed her for it, To this very day , she still carries this baggage and she is 51 years old, (messed up)  Thank you ,  I know all of this, but as a small child I was still smart enough to realize that the boy should have had his a--s standing up there too . Lol !!

[ZaldamoWilder]

38 minutes ago, byrd said:

This is why I said Kandi had issues with Phaedra and Nene friendship, if you  look back at that episode, Nene said nothing negative about Kandi at all , neither did Phaedra, she just mentioned that she would have liked Kandi to be there more for her as a friend. Kandi took that conversation to another level out of guilt. It was not about Apollo, it was really about not having your best friend there to support you .  Kandi is a very literal person, Phaedra may have talked to much about her personal business to Kandi and never expected to hear it again,  what kandi saw was Phaedra behaving as if she was okay with Apollo going away.  Kandi lacked the ability to look beyond the surface and realize that Phaedra was really scared, she was at risk of losing everything . People speak and act out of pure emotion and 90% of time , they don't mean any of it. What I see when I look and listen to Phaedra is someone what wants to always appear to be in total control of her emotions, ( never appear vulnerable  ) will do or say anything to protect that image, (even when we know the truth )  maintain a professional decorum, and knows how and when to let her hair down.  I am not entirely sure of what else went down between them, but I know they have been friends long enough to know each other very well, the 'GOOD the BAD and the UGLY. 

I gotta make a scorecard in my head to keep it straight.

What Phaedra did to alienate Kandi

• Confided in a woman neither of them would call a friend
• Spoke her genuine feelings in shady barbs delivered only in behind the scenes THs
• Shat-talked Kandi's husband in order to justify deadbeating a service debt she owed him

What Kandi did to alienate Phaedra

• Remained emotionally unavailable during Phaedra's most trying time with Apollo
• Stayed silent when she found out her husband was housing Phaedra's husband's things
• Disagreeing with how much accessibility Phaedra owed Apollo to his sons

For entirely different reasons they can never trust each other again.  Phaedra is disingenuous.  You're never know how she really feels.  Kandi is genuine but she's a boundary crosser who'll tell all your business if you push her far enough.   

Shame.  It looked like a real friendship once.

[byrd]

1 minute ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

I gotta make a scorecard in my head to keep it straight.

What Phaedra did to alienate Kandi

• Confided in a woman neither of them would call a friend
• Spoke her genuine feelings in shady barbs delivered only in behind the scenes THs
• Shat-talked Kandi's husband in order to justify deadbeating a service debt she owed him

What Kandi did to alienate Phaedra

• Remained emotionally unavailable during Phaedra's most trying time with Apollo
• Stayed silent when she found out her husband was housing Phaedra's husband's things
• Disagreeing with how much accessibility Phaedra owed Apollo to his sons

For entirely different reasons they can never trust each other again.  Phaedra is disingenuous.  You're never know how she really feels.  Kandi is genuine but she's a boundary crosser who'll tell all your business if you push her far enough.   

Shame.  It looked like a real friendship once.

Right, but I have to give Kandi credit, she sat on that bit of news a long time before she released it.  Phaedra can be a bit selfish , I admit that about her, but they both know the other's buttons. Yes, it is a shame , but as you stated the season for this friendship has passed.  

[Easyspreestep]

1. Quote

   What Phaedra did to alienate Kandi

   Confided in a woman neither of them would call a friend

   Spoke her genuine feelings in shady barbs delivered only in behind the scenes THs

   Shat-talked Kandi's husband in order to justify deadbeating a service debt she owed him

   See I looked at it this way Phadrea was hurting and NeNe reached out.  Kinda like girl I know we have had our differences in the past, but this is real and if you need anything let me know.  NeNe nor Pharea have said that Phadrea bore her soul or that NeNe was a constant just that she made the effort.  The effort is what Phardrea and most people agree that Kandi didn't put in.  It really does not take much cause we have all been there.  

 

I'll put it this way love is love and when you love someone you put up with stuff that from the outside makes you look super stupid.  How could she not know the criminal would return to his criminal ways.  I know she loved him and even if he had returned she was not going to send him away because he was still her man.  She did take steeps to insulate herself legally but she still wanted him.  How many times have we said or heard our friends say I wish person x would leave so this relationship could be over .  Raises hand ever so slightly.  You want to be done with this no good man but you don't want to be the one to end it.  Phadrea saw prison as the end of it all where she could heal without worrying if Apollo was with another woman or strip clubs or coming in at all hours.  She waited for that time so she could move on with her life.  Kandi's no good ass put her ex friends business on front street for no reason, cause from what we know about Kandi's past she has been there.  I mean her baby daddy can still make her dumb as cry.  She is still not over him cause if she was none of this would phase her.  I don't see her crying over Phadrea's situation, and for the fact that Todd felt comfortable enough to hide Apollo's stuff in her house meant that she was never Phadrea's friend, because Todd would not have cross that line if she was.  

[byrd]

42 minutes ago, Easyspreestep said:

1. See I looked at it this way Phadrea was hurting and NeNe reached out.  Kinda like girl I know we have had our differences in the past, but this is real and if you need anything let me know.  NeNe nor Pharea have said that Phadrea bore her soul or that NeNe was a constant just that she made the effort.  The effort is what Phardrea and most people agree that Kandi didn't put in.  It really does not take much cause we have all been there.  

 

I'll put it this way love is love and when you love someone you put up with stuff that from the outside makes you look super stupid.  How could she not know the criminal would return to his criminal ways.  I know she loved him and even if he had returned she was not going to send him away because he was still her man.  She did take steeps to insulate herself legally but she still wanted him.  How many times have we said or heard our friends say I wish person x would leave so this relationship could be over .  Raises hand ever so slightly.  You want to be done with this no good man but you don't want to be the one to end it.  Phadrea saw prison as the end of it all where she could heal without worrying if Apollo was with another woman or strip clubs or coming in at all hours.  She waited for that time so she could move on with her life.  Kandi's no good ass put her ex friends business on front street for no reason, cause from what we know about Kandi's past she has been there.  I mean her baby daddy can still make her dumb as cry.  She is still not over him cause if she was none of this would phase her.  I don't see her crying over Phadrea's situation, and for the fact that Todd felt comfortable enough to hide Apollo's stuff in her house meant that she was never Phadrea's friend, because Todd would not have cross that line if she was.  

Just remember, Kandi will never go against Todd, even if she knows he is wrong , the same way Phaedra defended Apollo (even if we all know the Kenya Moore was flirting with him )

Edited December 28, 2016 by byrd

[Neurochick]

On 12/27/2016 at 11:22 AM, zoeysmom said:

You have got a point about Twitter.  Kenya decided she needed to weigh in on RHOBH and decided to tweet with Erika.  Eventually, Kenya called one of the husband's a bitch, and Erika shut her down.  They don't call each others' husbands bitch on RHOBH.  Different world and Kenya trying to insert herself met with an epic fail. 

I find that hysterical because to me, Erika has zero class. 

 

On 12/27/2016 at 11:37 AM, byrd said:

Exactly, Kenya can never fully be accepted into any circle because no one can trust her.  RHOBH is as you quoted.. totally different world.. and she does not fit.  One, she does not have the wealth these women have, you're talking serious money here.  Two, she has nothing in common with any of them.  They live a lifestyle she wants but does not have. Kenya needs to stay in her lane.  This is not to say that the wealth is not obtainable for her, because it maybe one day , but not TODAY.

I disagree with this.  To me, many of the housewives on BH were no different than Kenya, except they got lucky and got a wealthy man to marry them, I'm speaking about Erika and Dorit, and even Lisa Vanderpump to an extent.   Other than race, I really see no difference between Kenya and Erika/Dorit.

[Easyspreestep]

4 minutes ago, byrd said:

Just remember, Kandi will never go against Todd, even if she knows he is wrong , the same way Phaedra defended Apollo (even if

Yes in Public, but privately she could have made it clear that even if she and Phadera were no longer on good terms, should would not allow Todd to disrespect Phadera that way.  I mean I have ex friends that I would never do something to willfully hurt them and Kandi allowing that stuff in the house was a willful act of meanness.  Then both Todd and Kandi get upset because they think Phadrea called the Feds, so it's ok to hurt me, but it's not ok for me to hit back.  (we all know that Phadrea didn't call the Feds), but Kandi and crew had no right to get upset if she did.  

[byrd]

29 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I find that hysterical because to me, Erika has zero class. 

 

I disagree with this.  To me, many of the housewives on BH were no different than Kenya, except they got lucky and got a wealthy man to marry them, I'm speaking about Erika and Dorit, and even Lisa Vanderpump to an extent.   Other than race, I really see no difference between Kenya and Erika/Dorit.

 

24 minutes ago, Easyspreestep said:

Yes in Public, but privately she could have made it clear that even if she and Phadera were no longer on good terms, should would not allow Todd to disrespect Phadera that way.  I mean I have ex friends that I would never do something to willfully hurt them and Kandi allowing that stuff in the house was a willful act of meanness.  Then both Todd and Kandi get upset because they think Phadrea called the Feds, so it's ok to hurt me, but it's not ok for me to hit back.  (we all know that Phadrea didn't call the Feds), but Kandi and crew had no right to get upset if she did.  

 

29 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I find that hysterical because to me, Erika has zero class. 

 

I disagree with this.  To me, many of the housewives on BH were no different than Kenya, except they got lucky and got a wealthy man to marry them, I'm speaking about Erika and Dorit, and even Lisa Vanderpump to an extent.   Other than race, I really see no difference between Kenya and Erika/Dorit.

I see a huge difference, Dorit came from wealth, also  started her own label by working for a fashion swimwear company in Italy later met and married her husband in New York and he just happens to be wealthy as well. Not sure of the back stories on all of them other than what we see weekly , but they have all established or is establishing  their own wealth outside of the husbands.  Kenya does not fit into this group of women the same way she does not fit into any other, if you haven't noticed Kenya has a way of alienating herself. .  This is not a class issue it's that Kenya Moore has made herself unlikeable across the board. They may have issues within their own clique, but they aren't letting her in.

Edited December 28, 2016 by byrd

[Rlb8031]

55 minutes ago, Easyspreestep said:

Yes in Public, but privately she could have made it clear that even if she and Phadera were no longer on good terms, should would not allow Todd to disrespect Phadera that way.  I mean I have ex friends that I would never do something to willfully hurt them and Kandi allowing that stuff in the house was a willful act of meanness.  Then both Todd and Kandi get upset because they think Phadrea called the Feds, so it's ok to hurt me, but it's not ok for me to hit back.  (we all know that Phadrea didn't call the Feds), but Kandi and crew had no right to get upset if she did.  

My recollection is that she didn't learn about Apollo's belongings until they were already in the garage. At that point, its too late. Especially when they are living in "her" house. I'm sure that Todd would not have been cool with her demanding that he give Apollo's things back - if it's his house (as opposed to him being Kandi's guest) why couldn't he decide to allow his boy to store his stuff there? And trust me, Kandi wasn't getting into a fight with her husband over Phaedra's husband, who is already locked up for the next little while. What I think is hilarious about that whole situation is that by the time Apollo gets out most of that stuff (dirt bikes, tools, etc) are going to be trash. 

As for the Nene situation, my thought was that knowing what we know about Phaedra, I'm sure that she (Phaedra) spent many months/years dragging Nene's name through the mud privately with Kandi during the time Nene was calling her the slut of Athens. So Kandi's reaction wasn't so much that she talked crap to Nene, as it was that she talked crap to NENE?!?!?!?!

Edited December 28, 2016 by Rlb8031

[Neurochick]

48 minutes ago, byrd said:

I see a huge difference, Dorit came from wealth, also  started her own label by working for a fashion swimwear company in Italy later met and married her husband in New York and he just happens to be wealthy as well.

Maybe Dorit, but I seriously doubt that she "just happened to meet and marry her husband in NY, who just happened to be wealthy" NY is a big place, nothing "just happens" here.

Did Erika come from money? 

[byrd]

21 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Maybe Dorit, but I seriously doubt that she "just happened to meet and marry her husband in NY, who just happened to be wealthy" NY is a big place, nothing "just happens" here.

Did Erika come from money? 

No,  I don't believe Erika came from money lol !! , the same way Brandi Glanville did not come from money . Dorit meeting her husband may not have "just happened," but I am sure you can agree, that money runs in circles. People that have it and has always had it , socialize in certain groups. Meeting and marrying a wealthy man may not be too hard under those circumstances.  ( I ain't mad at em" )

Edited December 29, 2016 by byrd

[sunsheyen]

1 hour ago, Easyspreestep said:

Yes in Public, but privately she could have made it clear that even if she and Phadera were no longer on good terms, should would not allow Todd to disrespect Phadera that way.  I mean I have ex friends that I would never do something to willfully hurt them and Kandi allowing that stuff in the house was a willful act of meanness.  Then both Todd and Kandi get upset because they think Phadrea called the Feds, so it's ok to hurt me, but it's not ok for me to hit back.  (we all know that Phadrea didn't call the Feds), but Kandi and crew had no right to get upset if she did.  

I don't think Kandi was thru with the feds coming to her house, I think she was through when she saw Phaedra trying to drag Todd in those confessionals. 

1 hour ago, Easyspreestep said:

1. See I looked at it this way Phadrea was hurting and NeNe reached out.  Kinda like girl I know we have had our differences in the past, but this is real and if you need anything let me know.  NeNe nor Pharea have said that Phadrea bore her soul or that NeNe was a constant just that she made the effort.  The effort is what Phardrea and most people agree that Kandi didn't put in.  It really does not take much cause we have all been there.  

 

I'll put it this way love is love and when you love someone you put up with stuff that from the outside makes you look super stupid.  How could she not know the criminal would return to his criminal ways.  I know she loved him and even if he had returned she was not going to send him away because he was still her man.  She did take steeps to insulate herself legally but she still wanted him.  How many times have we said or heard our friends say I wish person x would leave so this relationship could be over .  Raises hand ever so slightly.  You want to be done with this no good man but you don't want to be the one to end it.  Phadrea saw prison as the end of it all where she could heal without worrying if Apollo was with another woman or strip clubs or coming in at all hours.  She waited for that time so she could move on with her life.  Kandi's no good ass put her ex friends business on front street for no reason, cause from what we know about Kandi's past she has been there.  I mean her baby daddy can still make her dumb as cry.  She is still not over him cause if she was none of this would phase her.  I don't see her crying over Phadrea's situation, and for the fact that Todd felt comfortable enough to hide Apollo's stuff in her house meant that she was never Phadrea's friend, because Todd would not have cross that line if she was.  

It is my opinion that Phaedra was never really in love with Apollo. She had a situation that she had to make work. LBR, what conversations would they have? Nothing intellectual. She shit talked his family (canned foods) on camera, and rarely respected/treated him as an equal on camera.

It would never cross my mind to think that Kandi wasn't over Block. She cries when she is frustrated (a mad crier), and I dont think her tears were about him, but about Riley's not having a dad. Nothing to do with Block/having him as her man. She has moved on and been engaged/married at least twice since then. 

26 minutes ago, Rlb8031 said:

My recollection is that she didn't learn about Apollo's belongings until they were already in the garage. At that point, its too late. Especially when they are living in "her" house. I'm sure that Todd would not have been cool with her demanding that he give Apollo's things back - if it's his house (as opposed to him being Kandi's guest) why couldn't he decide to allow his boy to store his stuff there? And trust me, Kandi wasn't getting into a fight with her husband over Phaedra's husband, who is already locked up for the next little while. What I think is hilarious about that whole situation is that by the time Apollo gets out most of that stuff (dirt bikes, tools, etc) are going to be trash. 

As for the Nene situation, my thought was that knowing what we know about Phaedra, I'm sure that she (Phaedra) spent many months/years dragging Nene's name through the mud privately with Kandi during the time Nene was calling her the slut of Athens. So Kandi's reaction wasn't so much that she talked crap to Nene, as it was that she talked crap to NENE?!?!?!?!

Exactly...despite WHAT was said, it was the fact that Phaedra was confiding in someone who had dragged her for filth in the past...IN HER FACE (the car ride with Chuck). Phaedra is dirty. She shaded Kandi's husband and then turned to someone who she knew had neither of their best interests at heart. Duh, Phaedra. That would make me rethink our entire relationship. Are you stupid for confiding in this person or are you just using our relationship for TV (as NeNe surely was)? Either way, you aren't the person to keep close (real) ties with.

[byrd]

42 minutes ago, sunsheyen said:

I don't think Kandi was thru with the feds coming to her house, I think she was through when she saw Phaedra trying to drag Todd in those confessionals. 

It is my opinion that Phaedra was never really in love with Apollo. She had a situation that she had to make work. LBR, what conversations would they have? Nothing intellectual. She shit talked his family (canned foods) on camera, and rarely respected/treated him as an equal on camera.

It would never cross my mind to think that Kandi wasn't over Block. She cries when she is frustrated (a mad crier), and I dont think her tears were about him, but about Riley's not having a dad. Nothing to do with Block/having him as her man. She has moved on and been engaged/married at least twice since then. 

Exactly...despite WHAT was said, it was the fact that Phaedra was confiding in someone who had dragged her for filth in the past...IN HER FACE (the car ride with Chuck). Phaedra is dirty. She shaded Kandi's husband and then turned to someone who she knew had neither of their best interests at heart. Duh, Phaedra. That would make me rethink our entire relationship. Are you stupid for confiding in this person or are you just using our relationship for TV (as NeNe surely was)? Either way, you aren't the person to keep close (real) ties with.

They all have dragged each other over the years. They have no loyalty to each other.  Nene had to befriend anyone that would put up with her. She had alienated all of them at one time or another.  This is exactly what Kenya is doing now, she has to cling to whomever will have her. Those friendships change like the weather. Let's not forget that Nene  (chuck & wife) and Kenya (Claudia Jordan) tried to bring in new Housewives to the group just to have friends, they both had alienated everyone else in the group, 

Edited December 28, 2016 by byrd

[Easyspreestep]

Quote

My recollection is that she didn't learn about Apollo's belongings until they were already in the garage. At that point, its too late. Especially when they are living in "her" house. I'm sure that Todd would not have been cool with her demanding that he give Apollo's things back - if it's his house (as opposed to him being Kandi's guest) why couldn't he decide to allow his boy to store his stuff there? And trust me, Kandi wasn't getting into a fight with her husband over Phaedra's husband, who is already locked up for the next little while. What I think is hilarious about that whole situation is that by the time Apollo gets out most of that stuff (dirt bikes, tools, etc) are going to be trash. 

As for the Nene situation, my thought was that knowing what we know about Phaedra, I'm sure that she (Phaedra) spent many months/years dragging Nene's name through the mud privately with Kandi during the time Nene was calling her the slut of Athens. So Kandi's reaction wasn't so much that she talked crap to Nene, as it was that she talked crap to NENE?!?!?!?!

Todd would have known not to bring the stuff in the house if Kandi and Phadera were real friends, in fact Apollo would not have asked.  To me Kandi never saw the friendship as real and Phadera did.  I understand that Phadera didn't like NeNe, but both Nene and Phadera stated that when Nene called she stated that she understood that they were not friends but she was reaching out because she knew what Phadera was going through was real (as in not for the show) and she wanted to support her.  There is nothing wrong with that.  There is also nothing wrong with people putting their differences aside because they are in need, and guess what if Kandi would have been there for her friend she would not have needed NeNe ear or support.  It was Kandi's absence that created the need for NeNe.  

 

As for Phadera dragging Todd's name through the mudd we the viewers are just finding out likely what Phadera knew about Todd all along.  The hiding of the assets which meant the Fed's making extra trips to her house to look for said assets.  The hanging out at strip clubs with this man till all hours of the morning.  Todd and Kandi pretend to care about Apollo and his kids but if Todd really cared he would not have been hanging out with Apollo at strip clubs watching him spend thousands of dollars.  Todd should have been encouraging Apollo to spend as much time with the kids while he could instead of encouraging to hang out all night.  Todd and Kandi spent all that time trying to convince Phadera to take kids to see Apollo when he was locked up, but spent no time (on camera) trying to get him to spend what little time he had left with his kids.  Also all that money Todd watch Apollo spend on strippers he could have asked him for the money, because he knew that Phadera would be the sole provider for those kids for the next 8 years.  Why not take that stress off of her, I mean Apollo was using the money to party and not take care of his kids.  Todd was willing to hide other assest why not take the 5 grand and be done with it.   That I feel is the reason Phadera held the money back.  

Edited December 28, 2016 by Easyspreestep

[telemachus2]

Re Phaedra's self-description in the 1st season as a "Southern Belle" - never have I heard of such a creature being other than white.  I thought slyly witty Phaedra must be pulling our collective legs with this term.

[byrd]

4 minutes ago, telemachus2 said:

Re Phaedra's self-description in the 1st season as a "Southern Belle" - never have I heard of such a creature being other than white.  I thought slyly witty Phaedra must be pulling our collective legs with this term.

Phaedra believes this crap.

[AuntieDiane6]

Quote

It is my opinion that Phaedra was never really in love with Apollo. She had a situation that she had to make work.

Her situation was her desire to be a mother.  And Apollo was "clean" and good-looking.  

[WireWrap]

23 minutes ago, AuntieDiane6 said:

Her situation was her desire to be a mother.  And Apollo was "clean" and good-looking.  

It is less than that IMO, it is nothing more than she got pregnant with him and tried to make it work. I doubt that she would have married him had she not gotten pregnant no matter how clean or good looking he was.

[Petunia13]

Apollos shit was at Kandis house long before he went to jail. If I recall when he and Phaedra moved into their house there wasn't a lot of space so he stored his extra junk at his boys Todd and Peters garages. Kandi and Cynthia may not have known or forgot about it until he was going to jail and he and Phaedra split. So it wasn't like Kandi having it was an act of defiance or betrayal it had been going on for years and in happier times. 

I totally do what Kandi does which is frustrated or angry cry. It's a cross to bear since people think you're actually sad or weak or the person got the best of you. 

I've indicated before I think Kandi is a bad friend and one that can be a bit selfish. She is calculating and wants blind loyalty but isn't willing to extend the same. I think she's very money motivated much like her husband and mother and the nail in the friendship coffin was over money. I think when looking at the scorecard Phaedra did her dirtier. The money thing and dragging Todd is bogus af. But in big picture wise Phaedra was a better friend. She also did kandis baby shower and helped w todds mama funeral so I can see why she is baffled Kandi is acting this way. 

Kenyas a very beautiful woman, book smart and articulate. She could have landed a v successful rich and maybe even famous man, but she has a very difficult personality and petty ways. But if she had evolved or masked that for a period she would have been married and in Beverly Hills herself easily. 

[byrd]

16 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

Apollos shit was at Kandis house long before he went to jail. If I recall when he and Phaedra moved into their house there wasn't a lot of space so he stored his extra junk at his boys Todd and Peters garages. Kandi and Cynthia may not have known or forgot about it until he was going to jail and he and Phaedra split. So it wasn't like Kandi having it was an act of defiance or betrayal it had been going on for years and in happier times. 

I totally do what Kandi does which is frustrated or angry cry. It's a cross to bear since people think you're actually sad or weak or the person got the best of you. 

I've indicated before I think Kandi is a bad friend and one that can be a bit selfish. She is calculating and wants blind loyalty but isn't willing to extend the same. I think she's very money motivated much like her husband and mother and the nail in the friendship coffin was over money. I think when looking at the scorecard Phaedra did her dirtier. The money thing and dragging Todd is bogus af. But in big picture wise Phaedra was a better friend. She also did kandis baby shower and helped w todds mama funeral so I can see why she is baffled Kandi is acting this way. 

Kenyas a very beautiful woman, book smart and articulate. She could have landed a v successful rich and maybe even famous man, but she has a very difficult personality and petty ways. But if she had evolved or masked that for a period she would have been married and in Beverly Hills herself easily. 

Agree, but Kenya needs a lot of work she has a chip on her shoulder. She will never be able to keep a man for long , she will drive him away every time.   Successful man, or your average Joe will not be able to deal with her. Until she can maybe one day resolve this issue with her mother,  it will always affect any relationship that she has. (Kenya has said this herself) so at least she does realize it. God Bless her.

[qtpye]

9 minutes ago, byrd said:

Kenyas a very beautiful woman, book smart and articulate. She could have landed a v successful rich and maybe even famous man, but she has a very difficult personality and petty ways. But if she had evolved or masked that for a period she would have been married and in Beverly Hills herself easily. 

When she won Miss U.S.A. all these celebrities and athletes were sending her flowers.  If she could have just eased up on the crazy for five minutes, one of them would have definitely wifed her up.  Lol, she probably would be on basketball wives now, which is actually an even trashier show then this mess.

[byrd]

48 minutes ago, qtpye said:

When she won Miss U.S.A. all these celebrities and athletes were sending her flowers.  If she could have just eased up on the crazy for five minutes, one of them would have definitely wifed her up.  Lol, she probably would be on basketball wives now, which is actually an even trashier show then this mess.

Lol !!  yea, but I can assure you that if she had married an athlete,  was a part of basketball wives, she would have her ass whipped by now. Those are some real crazy chicks and they don't mine " scrappin".  Come to think of it, that's a good spot for 'PORSHA.

Edited December 29, 2016 by byrd

[qtpye]

Todd should produce a show called Ex football wives...this could be Porsha's new gig.

[ZaldamoWilder]

There's one on tv she'd already fit into called WAGS (wives and girlfriends (and exes) of pro athletes)).    They're loud and gorgeous and dumb.  It's great/turr'ble.   I taped 2 promising looking episodes and tapped out/deleted near bout 9 minutes in.    But lots of lip gloss and cleavage types, she'd be comfortable.

[byrd]

13 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

There's one on tv she'd already fit into called WAGS (wives and girlfriends (and exes) of pro athletes)).    They're loud and gorgeous and dumb.  It's great/turr'ble.   I taped 2 promising looking episodes and tapped out/deleted near bout 9 minutes in.    But lots of lip gloss and cleavage types, she'd be comfortable.

Yep, sounds just like her !

[Watermelon]

On December 28, 2016 at 1:31 PM, byrd said:

Right, but I have to give Kandi credit, she sat on that bit of news a long time before she released it.  Phaedra can be a bit selfish , I admit that about her, but they both know the other's buttons. Yes, it is a shame , but as you stated the season for this friendship has passed.  

That actually makes  me respect kandi waaaaay less. I've paid your husband back, I threw your baby shower, helped with your mother in law's funeral, we  called a truce and NOW you're spreading rumors about Mr. Chocolate and still bringing up my conversation with Nene? Bye.

Edited December 30, 2016 by Watermelon
Forgot additional reasons kandi is trifling

[byrd]

15 hours ago, Watermelon said:

That actually makes  me respect kandi waaaaay less. I've paid your husband back, I threw your baby shower, helped with your mother in law's funeral, we  called a truce and NOW you're spreading rumors about Mr. Chocolate and still bringing up my conversation with Nene? Bye.

Well that's because Kandi was never sincere about the TRUCE. We all saw how she discussed it with Don Juan JUST after meeting with Phaedra so it does surprise me that she kept that secret as long as she did. I expected her to speak on that long before now.  Kandi never forgave Phaedra for the remarks she made about Todd. You don't mess with Kandi's man.  Ironically she could not draw that line in the sand with Moma Joyce.  Kandi was trying to defend something that indefensible, so sadly used that confidence to do it.

Edited December 30, 2016 by byrd

[ZaldamoWilder]

12 hours ago, Watermelon said:

That actually makes  me respect kandi waaaaay less. I've paid your husband back, I threw your baby shower, helped with your mother in law's funeral, we  called a truce and NOW you're spreading rumors about Mr. Chocolate and still bringing up my conversation with Nene? Bye.

Because I never cosign telling business, it's a challenge to keep going to bat for Kandi, I promise it is lol.    But ya'll keep putting Phaedra's past behavior up against Kandi's present reaction.   Phaedra is actionary.  Kandi is reactionary.   Her current secret telling is her (shitty) response to Phaedra's current post-truce (shitty) behavior.   The baby shower and Sharon's homegoing (Phay didn't get paid for this?) were events that took place while they were still friends.   Phaedra didn't pay Todd back, she paid him what she owed him, finally.   There are a number of examples of how each of them did for the other when they were tight.  One of which was about that video money, Todd admitted he wanted to pursue the issue and Kandi kept him from doing so because of what she was dealing with with Apollo.  So imo Phaedra shouldn't be getting some special one-sided friendship award.   Everything about Kandi bringing up Nene's name was to say to Phaedra:  you and I were genuinely friends, so you rocking with a bitch we both know that neither of us can trust makes me stop and stare at you over the top of my glasses.    Especially when I see you crying to her that we're so close you're surprised I'm not there but we're not close enough for you to pick up a phone and say bish I need you?   Nah playa.  That entire scenario is just one more example of Phaedra's disingenuous and duplicitous ways.  Phaedra being teary in Nene's face didn't bother Kandi to that extent.   They made up with a talk in Phaedra's office where Phay was cautious and Kandi was crying and then made up again for real while getting pedicures on their next exotic location girls trip.   Both of those conversations were after Kandi knew Phaedra had confided in Nene.    Kandi finally hit the wall about Phaedra's beguiling slick ass ways:   she had her secretary call and arrange a meeting at which she boohoo'd and lamented the mystery of the end of their friendship all whilst eyelash batting in her TH that she can't figure out Kandi's hostility - after all, she invited Kandi to lunch.......and we all know how much Kandi enjoys a good meal:

[WireWrap]

42 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Because I never cosign telling business, it's a challenge to keep going to bat for Kandi, I promise it is lol.    But ya'll keep putting Phaedra's past behavior up against Kandi's present reaction.   Phaedra is actionary.  Kandi is reactionary.   Her current secret telling is her (shitty) response to Phaedra's current post-truce (shitty) behavior.   The baby shower and Sharon's homegoing (Phay didn't get paid for this?) were events that took place while they were still friends.   Phaedra didn't pay Todd back, she paid him what she owed him, finally.   There are a number of examples of how each of them did for the other when they were tight.  One of which was about that video money, Todd admitted he wanted to pursue the issue and Kandi kept him from doing so because of what she was dealing with with Apollo.  So imo Phaedra shouldn't be getting some special one-sided friendship award.   Everything about Kandi bringing up Nene's name was to say to Phaedra:  you and I were genuinely friends, so you rocking with a bitch we both know that neither of us can trust makes me stop and stare at you over the top of my glasses.    Especially when I see you crying to her that we're so close you're surprised I'm not there but we're not close enough for you to pick up a phone and say bish I need you?   Nah playa.  That entire scenario is just one more example of Phaedra's disingenuous and duplicitous ways.  Phaedra being teary in Nene's face didn't bother Kandi to that extent.   They made up with a talk in Phaedra's office where Phay was cautious and Kandi was crying and then made up again for real while getting pedicures on their next exotic location girls trip.   Both of those conversations were after Kandi knew Phaedra had confided in Nene.    Kandi finally hit the wall about Phaedra's beguiling slick ass ways:   she had her secretary call and arrange a meeting at which she boohoo'd and lamented the mystery of the end of their friendship all whilst eyelash batting in her TH that she can't figure out Kandi's hostility - after all, she invited Kandi to lunch.......and we all know how much Kandi enjoys a good meal:

There is fairly equal fault here IMO. Both women did the other wrong, that said though, Sharon's funeral and the baby shower were after they more or less called a truce, not that they rekindled their friendship. I am also going to add that I think DJ did everything he could to make sure Kandi and Phaedra never became close friends again. I get the feeling that DJ is one of those people that will undermine anyone else's position with his boss/friend to further his own needs and is smart enough to knows not to cross certain lines, like Kandi's loyalty to Joyce. I also think Joyce is going to do everything she can to punish Phaedra as payback for helping Kandi/Todd getting together, she still dislikes/resents Todd no matter what she tries to sell us now.

Phaedra having her secretary call to set up the lunch was her way of letting Kandi know this was not a lunch to rekindle their friendship but a meeting to talk about playing nice with each other. I think Phaedra wants a truce during filming, whereas Kandi wants to teach Phaedra a lesson on camera. LOL Phaedra wants  to maintain her image (sweet southern bell with a raunchy side with her close friends) and Kandi sees herself as a hard working woman/badass that will cut a bitch quick when someone comes for her/her family.

[byrd]

Exhausting isn't it...

[ZaldamoWilder]

50 minutes ago, WireWrap said:

There is fairly equal fault here IMO. Both women did the other wrong, that said though, Sharon's funeral and the baby shower were after they more or less called a truce, not that they rekindled their friendship. I am also going to add that I think DJ did everything he could to make sure Kandi and Phaedra never became close friends again. I get the feeling that DJ is one of those people that will undermine anyone else's position with his boss/friend to further his own needs and is smart enough to knows not to cross certain lines, like Kandi's loyalty to Joyce. I also think Joyce is going to do everything she can to punish Phaedra as payback for helping Kandi/Todd getting together, she still dislikes/resents Todd no matter what she tries to sell us now.

Phaedra having her secretary call to set up the lunch was her way of letting Kandi know this was not a lunch to rekindle their friendship but a meeting to talk about playing nice with each other. I think Phaedra wants a truce during filming, whereas Kandi wants to teach Phaedra a lesson on camera. LOL Phaedra wants  to maintain her image (sweet southern bell with a raunchy side with her close friends) and Kandi sees herself as a hard working woman/badass that will cut a bitch quick when someone comes for her/her family.

If so, it makes Phaedra's subsequent shit-talkery worse.

Don Juan is a catty muffucah, he's said so himself and then we witnessed it after the Kandi Factory meeting where he went in on Phaedra to Kandi.  She responded by hearing him out, eyerolling in places and telling him she would proceed cautiously because they'd called a truce.   When it comes to outside sources and opinions about her personal relationships, she's uninfluenced.  About all of em, not just whenever somebody gets at Joyce.

She had her secretary call because it looks like something a boss bitch would do.   Phaedra don't want a truce.   You don't say slick mouth shit about someone behind their back if your goal is peace. 

27 minutes ago, byrd said:

Exhausting isn't it...

Gurl.

[byrd]

2 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

If so, it makes Phaedra's subsequent shit-talkery worse.

Don Juan is a catty muffucah, he's said so himself and then we witnessed it after the Kandi Factory meeting where he went in on Phaedra to Kandi.  She responded by hearing him out, eyerolling in places and telling him she would proceed cautiously because they'd called a truce.   When it comes to outside sources and opinions about her personal relationships, she's uninfluenced.  About all of em, not just whenever somebody gets at Joyce.

She had her secretary call because it looks like something a boss bitch would do.   Phaedra don't want a truce.   You don't say slick mouth shit about someone behind their back if your goal is peace. 

Gurl.

Edited December 30, 2016 by byrd

[byrd]

3 minutes ago, byrd said:

 

Edited December 30, 2016 by byrd

[byrd]

9 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

If so, it makes Phaedra's subsequent shit-talkery worse.

Don Juan is a catty muffucah, he's said so himself and then we witnessed it after the Kandi Factory meeting where he went in on Phaedra to Kandi.  She responded by hearing him out, eyerolling in places and telling him she would proceed cautiously because they'd called a truce.   When it comes to outside sources and opinions about her personal relationships, she's uninfluenced.  About all of em, not just whenever somebody gets at Joyce.

She had her secretary call because it looks like something a boss bitch would do.   Phaedra don't want a truce.   You don't say slick mouth shit about someone behind their back if your goal is peace. 

Gurl.

Lol !! I feel your pain.. Cute..

Edited December 30, 2016 by byrd

[zoeysmom]

There is a First Look on tonight at 7:45.

[sunsheyen]

7 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

 

She had her secretary call because it looks like something a boss bitch would do.   Phaedra don't want a truce.   You don't say slick mouth shit about someone behind their back if your goal is peace. 

 

Exactly...

"You can speak to the help, bitch." That's what I got from that call. 

[Easyspreestep]

I think Phadera wants Kandi to know that she is not interested in being friends but that they can be civil.  Kandi only knows two levels ride or die or nothing.  you don't have to be friends to be cordial.  Also Kandi has no reason at this point to even get angry at anything her baby daddy says cause everyone knows he has not tried to take care of Riley.  what is there to be upset about? Why does she even care what he says or thinks? Kandi should be indifferent to Block at this point.  the way he has treated her daughter is horrible and I would not allow that man to control any of my emotions.  that's if she was over him.  Kandi is over Phadrea and she cant even be bothered to be concerned when she hears  someone may have tried to blow up her office so I know she has the in-difference  gene lol 

Edited December 31, 2016 by Easyspreestep

[sunsheyen]

2 hours ago, Easyspreestep said:

I think Phadera wants Kandi to know that she is not interested in being friends but that they can be civil.  Kandi only knows two levels ride or die or nothing.  you don't have to be friends to be cordial.  Also Kandi has no reason at this point to even get angry at anything her baby daddy says cause everyone knows he has not tried to take care of Riley.  what is there to be upset about? Why does she even care what he says or thinks? Kandi shoukd be indifferent to Block at this point.  the way he has treated her daughter is horrible and I would not allow that man to control any of my emotions.  that's if she was over him.  Kandi is over Phadrea and she cant even be bothered to be concerned when she hears  someone may have tried to blow up her office so I know she has the in-difference  gene lol 

I think she has every reason to be upset at Block's behavior...Riley.
People can blow off a lot, but not getting in our feelings about how our kid is treated is hard to do. I don't think it has anything to do with romantic feelings, this is all about Mama (or Papa if the hypothetical case warrants) Bear feeling some type of way about someone shitting on the baby. We may know the absentee parent is trash, we may know they'll never change, we may hear our kids say they're cool...but the present parent is still on the lookout for anyone who is trying to hurt who we've cared for and protected so long. I think that to contribute this to some unfulfilled romantic emotion about Block is really negating what Kandi feels for Riley. Has nothing to do with pining over some sorry ass man. You don't have to be wrapped up in a man to be upset that he's damaging your kid. That is a tired and sloppy way of thinking.

TL:DR This aint about Block, it's about her kid who may put up a fake hard shell and still worrying how her bio dad is doing her dirty. To chalk it up to Kandi being pressed over him is short sighted and misogynistic, IMO.

Edited December 31, 2016 by sunsheyen

[PhilMarlowe2]

18 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Everything about Kandi bringing up Nene's name was to say to Phaedra:  you and I were genuinely friends, so you rocking with a bitch we both know that neither of us can trust makes me stop and stare at you over the top of my glasses.    Especially when I see you crying to her that we're so close you're surprised I'm not there but we're not close enough for you to pick up a phone and say bish I need you?   Nah playa.  That entire scenario is just one more example of Phaedra's disingenuous and duplicitous ways. 

Preach. All of this. Even as a viewer, I remember watching those scenes between Phaedra and Nene, and wondering, "Why doesn't Phaedra just say something to Kandi instead of colluding with Nene?" It was some shady shit, the two of them on their passive-aggressive high horses.

Edited December 31, 2016 by PhilMarlowe2

[Aging Goth]

On December 28, 2016 at 4:42 PM, telemachus2 said:

Re Phaedra's self-description in the 1st season as a "Southern Belle" - never have I heard of such a creature being other than white.  I thought slyly witty Phaedra must be pulling our collective legs with this term.

A southern belle was never supposed to be race specific.  It was a tern used o describe the quintessential southern woman

[cooksdelight]

3 hours ago, Aging Goth said:

A southern belle was never supposed to be race specific.  It was a tern used o describe the quintessential southern woman

Yes, but in high society circles only. Growing up in the south, that term was strictly reserved for the upper crust. Debutantes were considered the southern belles of their day. 

[Watermelon]

On December 30, 2016 at 9:46 AM, ZaldamoWilder said:

Because I never cosign telling business, it's a challenge to keep going to bat for Kandi, I promise it is lol.    But ya'll keep putting Phaedra's past behavior up against Kandi's present reaction.   Phaedra is actionary.  Kandi is reactionary.   Her current secret telling is her (shitty) response to Phaedra's current post-truce (shitty) behavior.   The baby shower and Sharon's homegoing (Phay didn't get paid for this?) were events that took place while they were still friends.   Phaedra didn't pay Todd back, she paid him what she owed him, finally.   There are a number of examples of how each of them did for the other when they were tight.  One of which was about that video money, Todd admitted he wanted to pursue the issue and Kandi kept him from doing so because of what she was dealing with with Apollo.  So imo Phaedra shouldn't be getting some special one-sided friendship award.   Everything about Kandi bringing up Nene's name was to say to Phaedra:  you and I were genuinely friends, so you rocking with a bitch we both know that neither of us can trust makes me stop and stare at you over the top of my glasses.    Especially when I see you crying to her that we're so close you're surprised I'm not there but we're not close enough for you to pick up a phone and say bish I need you?   Nah playa.  That entire scenario is just one more example of Phaedra's disingenuous and duplicitous ways.  Phaedra being teary in Nene's face didn't bother Kandi to that extent.   They made up with a talk in Phaedra's office where Phay was cautious and Kandi was crying and then made up again for real while getting pedicures on their next exotic location girls trip.   Both of those conversations were after Kandi knew Phaedra had confided in Nene.    Kandi finally hit the wall about Phaedra's beguiling slick ass ways:   she had her secretary call and arrange a meeting at which she boohoo'd and lamented the mystery of the end of their friendship all whilst eyelash batting in her TH that she can't figure out Kandi's hostility - after all, she invited Kandi to lunch.......and we all know how much Kandi enjoys a good meal:

Listen friend. I know logically you're correct but I abhor kandi so much! Flames on the side of my face levels. So i can't ever take her side. 

[biakbiak]

9 hours ago, Aging Goth said:

A southern belle was never supposed to be race specific.  It was a tern used o describe the quintessential southern woman

The term was coined in the antebellum South to describe wealthy young white women it did in fact have racial and class conotations. 

Edited January 1, 2017 by biakbiak

[Pollock]

That "bitch please" gif with the basketball player* is giving me life. Thanks for posting it!

And totally off topic but : Happy New Year to you all!
Thanks for the laughs. The RHOA forum is the best of all the RH ones because your comments are always super funny. I'm greatful for you! 


*(? is it basketball? I don't do sport, I don't know who that man is!)

[biakbiak]

4 minutes ago, Pollock said:

That "bitch please" gif with the basketball player* is giving me life. Thanks for posting it!

And totally off topic but : Happy New Year to you all!
Thanks for the laughs. The RHOA forum is the best of all the RH ones because your comments are always super funny. I'm greatful for you! 


*(? is it basketball? I don't do sport, I don't know who that man is!)

Yes it's basketball. His name is James Harden he used to date Khloe Kardashian to put it in reality tv context. In a basketball context he is very good and scored 53 points and had a triple double tonight!

Edited January 1, 2017 by biakbiak

[Pollock]

7 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

Yes it's basketball. His name is James Harden he used to date Khloe Kardashian to put it in reality tv context. In a basketball context he is very good and scored 53 points and had a triple double tonight!

Oh ok thanks !
I don't do Kardashians either so really, I had no chance on that one!