S05.E05: Cold Feet

[racked]

Ariana and FI being banished to No Man's Land to defend James is kind of hilarious. Yes Ari, Kristen is insane but you hate her. So if you hate Kristen for it why defend James? Well we know it's her only storyline but I would personally prefer to watch FI doing his hair.  And again this week, despite finding her annoying and self righteous I will admit she looks amazing. 

When I see couples like Schwartz and Katie I just wonder why they get married. They could find much more compatible spouses. You shouldn't already be this sick of each other before you're even married. 

[bravofan27]

Tom is douche. Many women want a wedding. For him to be such a dick to her about it is him being immature and trying to look "cool." Then again, I've always found him to be a huge loser. I don't get what his redeeming value is, besides enjoying doing party drugs with the other Tom and Jax. He's soft spoken and somewhat meek, but he made the decision to propose to Katie. Now he's acting like he doesn't want to get married because she is too crazy? He proposed to a women who he knew full well would want a wedding and he's making it so unpleasant for her. 

Does anyone really care who James slept with? Why is he on this show? Don't get the interest. Plus, Lala boyfriend being a married man? No one even likes her so why do they care? It's so random.

Stassi, Katie, and Kristin have been friends for years, long before the show ever started, so it doesn't surprise me they are united. It also doesn't surprise me the Tom's and Jax are still really close. But they are too aggressive about others trying to be friends with them. It's like they are so scared of anyone breaking their bond. 

I know understand why all the ladies like Brittany. When Sheana let her stay with her, I was like, Hummmm. 

Otherwise, pretty boring. I did feel Katie's pain. Tom seems slow, dim, and unhappy unless he is high. Too many party drugs. 

[bethster2000]

Tom is being a passive-aggressive twat.  If you don't want to marry the girl, don't, but stop making an ass out of yourself and Katie with the little asides and snarky comments.

The problem I have with Katie's appearance this year is her hair.  It's just a mess.

Is James bipolar?  I am, and I think I see a lot of the signs.

Stassi is far too good for this band of chucklefucks.  Run, girl, run.

[AbsoluteShower]

On 12/5/2016 at 8:34 PM, WhosThatGirl said:

Why are all these girls hooking up with James? Are they that desperate to get on Vanderpump Rules?!?  That's the reason, right?!?! Because otherwise.. I can't. I mean they're already giving us women a bad name for hooking up with him and then continuity doing it while he talks bad about them and doing it for camera time isn't a good look either but it's the only reason I can come up with.

I too, am utterly bemused as to how and why that jug-eared mockney ponce is such an apparent lady-magnet.

[Misslindsey]

On 12/5/2016 at 10:12 PM, whydoievencare said:

While Katie is a horrible, horrible human being - never wrong, it's always someone else's fault  she is vile, can't ever actually talk about a problem without becoming defensive and doing the loud talk over so the other person can't actually be heard - but - I would want to slap Schwartz silly for the constant whining about how he doesn't really want to get married right now and doesn't really have a say and doesn't really want to spend much money, etc.....  

Schwartz's constant whining would get old to me as well. Though I do not think Katie listens to him about what he wants for this wedding, even something as simple as the wood centerpiece that Schwartz liked. Just throw him a bone once and awhile. You summed up why I dislike Katie right now. I enjoyed her last season when she finally stood up to Stassi, but now not so much. Katie seems incapable of having a conversation about a problem without getting defensive. It irritates me just watching it, I cannot imagine living it.

I am probably the only one, but I actually like Katie's bangs.

I thought when Scheana said about Lala's relationship with a married man that it was not going to end well was her acknowledging her own past relationship with a married guy. Then again, I am probably giving her too much credit.

[Ubiquitous]

16 minutes ago, AbsoluteShower said:

I too, am utterly bemused as to how and why that jug-eared mockney ponce is such an apparent lady-magnet.

Because I wanted to see that phrase again. :-)

I think TPTB took a lot of air out of their tires by letting it known that Shwartz and Katie got married this summer.

[AbsoluteShower]

On 12/6/2016 at 5:24 AM, zoeysmom said:

Nice walking away comment about the broken dick

Poor Schwartz, they don't realize he has an actual medical condition, first diagnosed by Leon Phelps (possibly not a doctor) in 1998:

"Uh, what we call in the medical profession, it's called "scaredy wang." Yeah, your wang is scared"

 

[Jennifersdc]

15 hours ago, racked said:

Ariana and FI being banished to No Man's Land to defend James is kind of hilarious. Yes Ari, Kristen is insane but you hate her. So if you hate Kristen for it why defend James? Well we know it's her only storyline but I would personally prefer to watch FI doing his hair.  And again this week, despite finding her annoying and self righteous I will admit she looks amazing.

Thank you! I thought the same thing! She's basically defending DJMB for the same reasons she hates Crazy Kristen. At least Kristen has an excuse - she's crazy (and I likely might have taken a swing at drunk, belligerent James in the same instance). The Busboy (or Laptop DJ if you prefer) is just an asshole.

The generally beloved Tom 2 is also taking a hit this season. His passive-agressiveness over the wedding isn't as cute as he thinks it is. And let's be honest - his "modeling" jobs are courtesy of VP for cheap advertising - and thereby Katie. He definitely has a beautiful face - but the rest of his body ain't cutting it as a male model. If it was my "job" I'd be hitting the gym a little more.

[Jennifersdc]

2 hours ago, Misslindsey said:

 

I thought when Scheana said about Lala's relationship with a married man that it was not going to end well was her acknowledging her own past relationship with a married guy. Then again, I am probably giving her too much credit.

Probably.

[OnceSane]

I think Ariana prefers to be the odd woman out--it makes her feel superior and she can always complain about how "above it all" she is while still being down in the muck with the rest.  Plus, I think Ariana will like almost anything Kristen hates.

I doubt Scheana was  thinking about her past (and I like her), I think she's just following her script.  Though I'm sure the discrepancy will be brought up at the reunion.

Katie turned in her stealth bitch flag and is flying a Stassi original now.  But she & Tom have played this game for years: she's a horror show, he's passive-aggressive and they both meet in the middle to settle for mediocrity.

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, Jennifersdc said:

The generally beloved Tom 2 is also taking a hit this season. His passive-agressiveness over the wedding isn't as cute as he thinks it is. And let's be honest - his "modeling" jobs are courtesy of VP for cheap advertising - and thereby Katie. He definitely has a beautiful face - but the rest of his body ain't cutting it as a male model. If it was my "job" I'd be hitting the gym a little more.

I've actually seen him in a couple of ads. He's an actual working model. Though he's certainly let his body go since joining the cast. He tends to get a lot of commercial modeling jobs like his Modelo ad, Kohls, and I think there might have been a Macy's ad too. It is likely that small clothing lines approach producers or the cast, but we've seen a significant downturn in modeling scenes. However everytime I have doubts about his modeling career, Schwartz will show up in a national ad campaign. 

 I know that in her first season a bunch of viewers, myself included, kept having Lala's modeling for Zulilly or Mod Cloth show up in browser ads.

While they all claimed that they were mactoricians in season 1, the only ones who found any modicum of success were Jax, the Toms, Scheana with acting, Ariana, and Lala.

[AbsoluteShower]

In one of the Kristen/Stassi flashbacks, one of Kristen's t-shirts was prominently displayed - sorry, 'casually flung' - on the sofa. Which leads me to ask - whatever happened to Kristen's t-shirt "line"?

[teapot]

http://www.jamesmaeco.com/shop/

uh-oh, there are no products...must have completely sold out?????????  (yeah, that's it....)

Edited December 8, 2016 by teapot

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

The Vanderpump Rules DJ Spins More Yarns Than Records This Week

Meanwhile, the soon-to-be married couple turns off cruise control and heads for disaster.

[Adultosaurus]

On 12/7/2016 at 7:25 PM, syzygy said:

It's interesting, because during this episode I was actually thinking about how Katie is quite pretty even if she could afford to be skinnier. And I said this a couple episodes ago, if anyone should not be on TV it's Kristen - she's ugly inside and has way too high of an opinion of herself considering how she, well, looks. And if anyone is overweight it would be Brittany this season, who has gained a lot of weight, but hasn't had much showtime and generally comes off like a nice person so it doesn't feel as acceptable to make snide comments about it.

I said this before as well but it's hard not to be petty when watching such petty people. But there is plenty to comment on aside from their bodies/looks, which are typically much harder to change than, say, fashion. I thought Katie's get-up at the Porsche dealer was doing her absolutely no favors, and I don't understand that nose ring at all. To me it looks ridiculous. (A side piercing would look better if she wanted to do one...) I also thought Lala's asymmetric dress in her talking head just looked... bad. On the flipside, I like how one of Stassi's recent talking heads matched her shirt color to her eyes.

SO much to hate on these people for...and you choose BMI?

[Pachengala]

I don't really see any 'hate' in that post about the cast's various vanderpounds; noting that they've gained weight is normal and, I assume, open for discussion on these boards. I'm any event, it's impossible to miss; I just rewatched Season 1 and was surprised by how much thinner Katie looked back then. She recently said on Stassi's podcast that she gets a lot of shit on social media for being fat but that she only looks fat next to Scheana and Kristen. I thought that made some sense but then she sad, 'I'm a 4/6!' and I was like, oh honey, no f-ing way. 

[ScoobieDoobs]

The camera can be distorting.  Brit has gained a bit of weight, but much of what she wears does her no favors before the cams.  Same for Katie.  And it doesn't help that she has a kinda dreary, frumpy fashion sense.  

Ari looks fantastic this season.  Even tho I have zero interest in her, it's hard not to notice how great she looks.  Stass always looks good.  Kristen?  I never notice what she wears cuz she skeers me.  I'm always thinkin' Cigarette Sally is burning bunnies somewhere.  She crazy.

[glowbug]

I can believe Katie is a size 4/6. The camera really does add ten pounds or more. I know this from living in LA and seeing celebrities in person. People look taller and heavier on screen. Many actors who look thin but healthy or normal on TV/in the movies look tiny or scary thin in person. So if someone looks scary thin on TV then they're basically a skeleton in real life. 

[ScoobieDoobs]

Seriously, that TH (last ep), where Brit was wearing a tighty top that kept popping open?  She looked enormous.  But she isn't at all.  Just shows you really have to be aware how your clothes will look on cam.  Stass seems to have a definite understanding of this.  Brit -- go have a chat with Stass on how to dress when you're on cam.  Katie?  Her style is mostly so icky, she's kinda hopeless.

Seems nutty to me FI & Ari are living in the same place as before he was getting Bravo dough.  OK, I can't actually tell if the place is a dump.  But hasn't pretty much everyone on the show implied it's a dump?  Didn't even Ari kinda imply it too?  So what gives?  

They both gotta be making some nice Bravo coin now, right?  Or are they?  Is FI cheap or is he saving his money for a better joint or for when this show ends & he's gotta go back to bartending cuz he'll be too old & talentless to go back to being a mactor?

[ghoulina]

I think part of the problem, as well, is that these girls don't know how to dress for their body. Even if they're smaller than they appear on camera, they don't all have the same slender bodies. Girls like Brit and Katie don't necessarily need to wear the same things as Scheana and Arianna. And vice versa. You need to flatter your assets, not try to strangle yourself into the smallest thing possible. 

[HunterHunted]

1 hour ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

Seems nutty to me FI & Ari are living in the same place as before he was getting Bravo dough.  OK, I can't actually tell if the place is a dump.  But hasn't pretty much everyone on the show implied it's a dump?  Didn't even Ari kinda imply it too?  So what gives?  

They both gotta be making some nice Bravo coin now, right?  Or are they?  Is FI cheap or is he saving his money for a better joint or for when this show ends & he's gotta go back to bartending cuz he'll be too old & talentless to go back to being a mactor?

Sandoval did pay for that Charles McMansion video, Touch in Public, last season. Most of the cast has new cars and the girls all have new hideous tattoos. Sandoval's horrible white streaks are extensions, which I'm sure he paid for. Plus Sandoval has always been a clothes hog. I wouldn't be shocked if Sandoval like Carrie Bradshaw had $40,000 in shoes stashed in the apartment somewhere.

[bichonblitz]

2 hours ago, ScoobieDoobs said:

Seems nutty to me FI & Ari are living in the same place as before he was getting Bravo dough.  OK, I can't actually tell if the place is a dump.  But hasn't pretty much everyone on the show implied it's a dump?  Didn't even Ari kinda imply it too?  So what gives?  

Last ep Ariana was showing the camera (and us) the apartment, and there were holes in the walls, it was dirty and disgusting. So yea, it's a dump. He must be a cheap SOB. Maybe that's a good thing cause the BRAVO paychecks won't last forever. 

[becauseIsaidso]

I don't like James even one teeny tiny little bit, but when I hear sociopathic jax rejoicing in his part in James being fired, I want to kick him/jax in the balls, repeatedly...that a**hole and his eternal state of denial is the biggest reason I just can't enjoy VPR any more - even slutty psycho kristin and stassibitch, and Katie, who is continually doing her own special version of jax-ness, are marginally less disgusting than steroid boy. And to think I used to look forward to this show....*sigh*

[bblancobrnx]

On 12/9/2016 at 6:36 PM, HunterHunted said:

Sandoval did pay for that Charles McMansion video, Touch in Public, last season. Most of the cast has new cars and the girls all have new hideous tattoos. Sandoval's horrible white streaks are extensions, which I'm sure he paid for. Plus Sandoval has always been a clothes hog. I wouldn't be shocked if Sandoval like Carrie Bradshaw had $40,000 in shoes stashed in the apartment somewhere.

I was rewatching season 4 and noticed all the cars had dealership plates on the back instead of permanent registration plates. I am assuming a local dealership loaned them those flashy new cars in exchange for having their car with their plate on the show as an advertisement

[ScoobieDoobs]

"Me & Ariana's relationship?"  Oh FI.  Do man buns reduce brain power?  Maybe there ain't much to begin with.

Thanks sharing with us, Ellie, that you would suck dick for a Range Rover.  Now exit left, please, hun.

[ivygirl]

On 12/8/2016 at 6:38 AM, Misslindsey said:

I thought when Scheana said about Lala's relationship with a married man that it was not going to end well was her acknowledging her own past relationship with a married guy. Then again, I am probably giving her too much credit.

"It's not going to end well" = "his wife is going to be on the next season of RHOBH and they're going to force a crossover episode featuring an awkward conversation between the two of them at the top of the 2nd hour."

;)

[HunterHunted]

On Sunday, December 11, 2016 at 11:24 AM, ScoobieDoobs said:

Thanks sharing with us, Ellie, that you would suck dick for a Range Rover.  Now exit left, please, hun.

Ellie needs to be honest. She'll suck dick for a whole lot less than a Range Rover. She banged James on a mattress on the floor on the off chance that it would get her camera time. She wishes people were offering her Range Rovers.

[heatherchandler]

On ‎12‎/‎9‎/‎2016 at 5:36 PM, HunterHunted said:

Sandoval did pay for that Charles McMansion video, Touch in Public, last season.

Oh nooooo thanks a lot for putting that terrible song back in my head! 

[ciaoformeow]

On 12/11/2016 at 4:29 AM, bblancobrnx said:

I was rewatching season 4 and noticed all the cars had dealership plates on the back instead of permanent registration plates. I am assuming a local dealership loaned them those flashy new cars in exchange for having their car with their plate on the show as an advertisement

 

Well I HOPE both he and Ari are being smart and saving as much money as possible while it's rolling in. 

The other cast members are getting nicer apartments and other things that I doubt they'll be able to keep paying for if the show was canceled or their contact wasn't renewed for the next season.