S09.E01: House Of Shade And Dust

[Tara Ariano]

Quote

Kandi and Todd focus on parenting baby Ace in the Season 9 premiere. Also: Kenya and Sheree make progress in completing their dream homes; the ladies raise questions about Porsha's anger; and an uninvited guest mars Kenya's housewarming celebration.

[qtpye]

HOLY CRAP...Sheree is still building that house?!  I think the Great Pyramids took less time to complete

[cooksdelight]

I'm sorry, but I thought that was Mamma Joyce sweeping the porch on Sheree's house...

Is Cynthia auditioning for The Lion King? CATS? WTF?

Porsha's grew a few in the exterior since last season, I think?

Is Phaedra going to be giving the gagging tongue the entire season?

Kandi and Todd's son is the cutest thing on this planet.

Edited November 7, 2016 by cooksdelight

[Viscar]

They really like showing their boobs, don't they??

[cooksdelight]

Sheree is this season's shit-stirrer, do it, girl!

[Primetimer]

Kenya's housewarming party makes for a lukewarm premiere episode.

View the full article

[Ubiquitous]

I'm not sure I'm going to keep watching this season. Kandi's the only one I liked and I was bored to tears watching her storyline.

When did all the others become such shady bitches?

[Petunia13]

If Kenya didn't want Porsha to come why'd she give Phaedra a plus one? 

Is anyone surprised Cynthia lost track of the whereabouts of her prenup? 

[RedKoolAide]

I've missed Sheree so much. 

Watching this reminds me of why I'll never like Kenya. She's mean, immature, and a perpetual victim. It's like her knee-jerk reaction is to be a bitch. When she said something along the lines of Porsha being ugly without makeup, I just rolled my eyes. Has she looked at herself in the mirror without makeup?

I could go a lifetime without ever having to hear Matt's weird voice and seeing his creepy eyes. I don't like Kenya but I wouldn't wish Matt on her. He gives me fatal attraction vibes.

Peter is really trying to hang on to Cynthia's bank account. He's an emotional manipulator. When Cynthia was with the divorce attorney and she said there was no infidelity.....ok, girl. There might not be proof, but I wouldn't doubt Peter has been with multiple women during that marriage. He's a sleaze.

Ace is a cute baby but I could care less about Kandi and Todd.

I hope Porsha refrains from beating ass this season.

[njbchlover]

20 minutes ago, Viscar said:

They really like showing their boobs, don't they??

How ridiculous they all look with their boobs hanging out all over the place - hope they're all using industrial strength fashion tape.

Edited November 7, 2016 by njbchlover

[Ubiquitous]

I might take some heat for this, but did anyone assume that Kenya provoked and/or exaggerated what happened with Matt?

Peter is a total dick, no big surprise.

I scoffed at Porsha's TV life coach, err, "anger management therapist".

[Queena]

I've missed Sheree. 

Kandi annoys. Ace is almost 1. I know that he's fully potty trained by now. Let a baby be a baby! She's coming across as phony to me. 

Kenya, honey, You're not looker with or without makeup. 

[Empress1]

Sheree has been in Joyce's wig closet.

[Petunia13]

I don't doubt Peter cheated or at least tried to. I heard a million stories about him sleazing on female patrons of his businesses on their reviews. Also the pictures don't lie. 

I feel bad for Cynthia but at the same time I don't. Literally everyone told her he was using her for fame and money, it was plain as day, and she stayed with his scammer ass far far far too long. She'll never get that time wasted and money back. 

The children on this show are too cute. Like they can all just have their own show now. Bravo gives the wretched Manzos, and Reza Farahan spinoffs, and strident howler monkey Bethenny spinoffs at a drop of a hat. 

[Empress1]

There is absolutely nothing that would convince me that Peter stayed faithful. 

[howiveaddict]

I'm glad there are no thots here, says the woman wearing a strapless bra, with her breasts hanging over the top, as a shirt.

[Petunia13]

 Cynthia went from Leon a very attractive man with a career modeling and acting and Russell Simmons a mogul who at least wasn't using her for money or fame. To that broke liar who spent her money and used the cache of being her husband and on her show to  hit on young patrons of the businesses he opened w her dough. He bought cars and financed properties w her savings and got belligerent when she had the nerve to ask. She should have never had a joint account or married him. And the funniest thing of all is she wasn't even sexually attracted to him as she said to her sister on live tv. So um, wtf?  

[wanderingstar]

Ace is a cute baby.

That's all I've got.

[ridethemaverick]

Kenya must have seen that adorable no makeup pic Porsha posted on Instagram and wrote a note to self to make a bitchy comment about her. This broad's skin looks like I-285 without makeup but whatever. At least the house looks good.

This was kinda boring, although Sheree kept me laughing. And the house looks gorgeous, although I still don't understand the need for that much open space. Her kids are beautiful.

So many boobs everywhere, my goodness. 

I hope we get to see Porsha's short haircut this season.

The Nida boys were adorable as always.

I'm still watching...haven't gotten to the housewarming yet.

Edited November 7, 2016 by ridethemaverick

[chick binewski]

It's amazing how little money you need to fit so much ugly into two houses.

Cynthia's Miss Ross 'do and the Wonder Woman breastplate were competing and there were no winners.

[WireWrap]

8 minutes ago, ridethemaverick said:

Kenya must have seen that adorable no makeup pic Porsha posted on Instagram and wrote a note to self to make a bitchy comment about her. This broad's skin looks like I-285 without makeup but whatever. At least the house looks good.

This was kinda boring, although Sheree kept me laughing. And the house looks gorgeous, although I still don't understand the need for that much open space. Her kids are beautiful.

So many boobs everywhere, my goodness. 

I hope we get to see Porsha's short haircut this season.

The Nida boys were adorable as always.

I'm still watching...haven't gotten to the housewarming yet.

Who has a housewarming party and doesn't make sure the house is clean and that her guests can safely enter it to begin with ? The HWs/paid guests were covered in plaster dust! LOL

[ridethemaverick]

Lordt, I do not care about Cynthia and Peter. Fast forward.

In glad Porsha is sticking to her anger management classes. Hopefully she stays the course.

Ace is so cute.

Every time they show aerial shots of Kandi's house I get jealous. Nice beautiful home (tacky decor but that's not the house's fault lol) and a beautiful guest house and she probably paid half of what the others paid for their monstrosities.

Bwahaha Porsha showed up anyway. That's right girl, get your scene money.

What was Kenya thinking? Who has a housewarming when the house isn't done? Tack.y.

Wait...did she invite the contractors to pad her guest list? Lmao

Edited November 7, 2016 by ridethemaverick

[Bronzedog]

I'm pretty sure some of the guests at the housewarming were straight from Central Casting.  Kenya approached, and even hugged one guy, who didn't seem to have a clue who she was.

i hate when there are potting training scenes, diaper changing scenes or any crap/pee children scenes on these shows.  Don't care, not cute, don't want to watch.

[appledumpling]

Was there rocks all over Kenya's driveway?

What's up with potty training a baby at 5 months?  Kandi said she did it with Rielly but how soon are they fully trained?  A 5 month old can't talk to tell you he needs to go nor walk and go on his own.  So you place him on the toilet in the morning, what about the rest of the day?  I don't get this method; does anybody know more about it?

[Jade Foxx]

I see you Portia, pretending like anger management wasn't mandatory by your employer. 

Andy gives no fucks, long as these dimwits keep raking in the dough. 

[charming]

This first episode was stale. I give zero fucks about Kenya and her fake relationship or her house.

[lyric]

I thought Sheree was broke?  Holy cow - that house is enormous.  Glad she's back full time though - she's a riot.  Kenya's shtick is on my nerves already, and it's only ep 1.

And why is it that Cynthia finally wises up and dumps that fool, and we STILL have to see his face on the show?

[Misslindsey]

Sheree cracks me up. I am so glad she is back full time this season. She entertains me and does not make me al rage-y like some other housewives do.

Porsha's anger management therapist/life coach/whatever looked like he was not listening to a word she said. It made me laugh though. I probably would not be listening to her either. So bullying is the reason Porsha lashes out? Is this the first time it was mentioned or the first time I remember it? 

I knew Porsha would show up at Kenya's housewarming one way or another, but it was a bit shady of Phaedra to bring her as her plus one since it seemed like she and Porsha knew that Porsha was not invited. I should not be surprised though, it is Phaedra. 

2 hours ago, RedKoolAide said:

Watching this reminds me of why I'll never like Kenya. She's mean, immature, and a perpetual victim. It's like her knee-jerk reaction is to be a bitch. When she said something along the lines of Porsha being ugly without makeup, I just rolled my eyes. Has she looked at herself in the mirror without makeup?

This. It is why I will never like Kenya as well. Her default mode is to be catty and make bitchy remarks about the other women constantly and in her talking heads, when they really have nothing to do with whatever she is doing or saying. 

Does anyone know the status of Kenya and Matt? I must be even more heartless than usual, because Kenya trying to be all teary when talking about Matt did nothing for me.

Peter is trying to hang onto that peach for dear life. I rolled my eyes at Cynthia saying there was not any infidelity. Right. Maybe not on her end, but I would not doubt that Peter has been with others. Wasn't he the one that was mad the Cynthia had fibroids?

It did not bother me that Kandi and Todd are putting Ace on the toilet already. To each their own. I cannot imagine that they are doing it all the time. Ace is adorable.

[riffraff]

I am loving Cynthias hair. And Kenya, " I just want to be safe in my own house." Ha ha ha ha. Good luck with that as Phadrea and the thot of all thots roll in!!

[luckyroll3]

Cynthia, gurl....you knew exactly where to find Nene's friendship contract when you needed to burn it, but can't find your pre-nup?  Get outta here!  And is she trying to convince herself that Peter didn't cheat, cause I want to believe she's not that dumb.

And how were Kenya's boobs staying in that outfit?  Inquiring minds would like to know.

[Queena]

1 hour ago, appledumpling said:

Was there rocks all over Kenya's driveway?

What's up with potty training a baby at 5 months?  Kandi said she did it with Rielly but how soon are they fully trained?  A 5 month old can't talk to tell you he needs to go nor walk and go on his own.  So you place him on the toilet in the morning, what about the rest of the day?  I don't get this method; does anybody know more about it?

Yes, it's stupid, but that's just my opinion. You have to watch their facial expressions. You can also teach them sign language so that they can tell you when they have to go. Ace will be 1 in a little over 2 months, he's been using the potty for a long time now. I wonder if he's fully potty trained? 

My baby is 2 months younger, and he likes to undue one side of his diaper. I'm always threatening to potty training him, but I'm joking. He can't talk. Wasn't Kandi doing a few other not so popular parenting things on instagram and/or Facebook? I remember her bragging about how much breast milk she was able to express/pump. Now I see that she's using Enfamil. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just different than her supermom bragging. 

[AndySmith]

Quote

Kenya's busy renovating her 6,000 sq. ft. home

I realize people are free to live where they want and whatever house they want, but...a house that big for a single person? Really? I guess it works better if you think of it as either a real estate investment and/or the women on this show really like to project the image that they are living large, even if only a few of them have the bank accounts to back that up...

[swankie]

4 hours ago, Viscar said:

They really like showing their boobs, don't they??

OMG!  The way they squish those puppies in those tops makes my chest hurt!  Kenya has a lot of nerve saying no THOTS at her housewarming.  I guess she meant no THOTS besides herself.  Her breasts took up my whole tv screen.  And she's crazy if she takes Matt back after he showed how violent he can get.  She keeps complaining about how afraid she is of Porsha, but lets Matt come to her housewarming after he's broken furniture and windows and shit.  I think he poses a way worse threat than Porsha.  His size alone is menacing.  I would have gotten rid of his ass with the quickness!

 

I'm already bored with the house race.  I don't see how either of them will be able to afford the taxes on those houses, let alone pay the mortgages.  I will say though, I like Sheree's place way more than Kenya's.  Kenya's place is still too "woodsy" for me.  I don't do wild animals.  Especially when I'm coming home at night where anything is liable to slither out of the brush.

[cooksdelight]

Quote

Especially when I'm coming home at night where anything is liable to slither out of the brush.

HA! I came home late one night and something moved under the shrubbery in front of my house. Scared the crap out of me!

I've never heard Porsha speak of being bullied. I'd like to hear from her brother or classmates on that one. The counselor dude looked like someone on the production crew they grabbed and said, "Hey, wanna make a thousand bucks today?"

Edited November 7, 2016 by cooksdelight

[queenjen]

9 hours ago, Ubiquitous said:

I might take some heat for this, but did anyone assume that Kenya provoked and/or exaggerated what happened with Matt?

Peter is a total dick, no big surprise.

I scoffed at Porsha's TV life coach, err, "anger management therapist".

Ummmm, over here. Absolutely. I can't understand the Kenya love out there at all. This woman is a dangerous instigator. Her MO is always the same. If she is not the absolute centre of the universe, if things aren't going exactly the way she wants them to go, she can't deal. She has an instinct, and it may be subconscious or some other deep rooted psychological thing especially given her relationship with her mother, for how precisely to push another human being over the edge. And then to howl 'victim!!'.  She is always bragging about her superior intellect and others lack thereof, and then she uses this to incite. I fully believe that whatever happened in Mexico with Matt was a result of their being locked up together alone and the real Kenya coming out. I don't necessarily believe all of it. I read that she posted the photo of her broken sunglasses and then took it down. It's now appearing on the show and she is now saying that he smashed up her stuff. Who else remembers the weirdness in Jamaica (?) with Walter when Kenya and he were given the '2nd rate' accommodation compared to the other hos? She didn't want to share a bathroom with him and she threw herself on the bed with a cushion over her head and appeared to have a tantrum. Walter said something like ' do you need your medication?'. Then she started on the story of how Walter wouldn't touch her. HER. The beauty queen! What's WRONG with him? 

What was wrong was that he was a successful man that Kenya brutally hounded about marriage. He did the right thing and just went, no thanks, I'm out, this is insane. And Kenya represents as the victim. As she does with Matt, as she does with Portia. I don't condone violence, but Kenya had shoved a frigging bullhorn in that silly girl's face and kept shouting her down. If Portia was cautioned, Kenya should have been too. The ONLY person who has taken her on appropriately is Kim Fields. Kim had the goods, Kim didn't get rattled and Kim called her out. KENYA lost it with Kim, pulling her chair from under her. But poor silly Portia is the big threat at Kenya's housewarming? no. 

As for Matt. She made him look like the help last season, I don't know how, but she did. If he wasn't another beard for her, he would have worked out quite rapidly that if he was to have Kenya's happily ever after, it would be in her house, on her terms, at her behest at all times. Who wants that? When she doesn't get what she wants, she becomes utterly unhinged and she is deeply unpleasant when threatened. I'm sick of all this admiration for 'shade'. It's just insecure bitchiness worded in a vaguely clever way. And Kenya is in her element. 

My prediction: Kenya will NEVER have a successful or fulfilling relationship. Not unless all of what we see and hear on this show and SM is just her 'acting'. Forget the allegations about Kandi's sexuality, Cynthia and Kenya should just call it a day and move in together. 

[queenjen]

ALSO. Re Peter and his funky whereabouts and 'bidness': Isn't he hooked up with Kordell, Porsha's ex husband? Cynthia referred to 2 bars when facetiming Peter tonight. She asked if she could see 'Bar One' or 'Sports One' in the background. Logic would lead me to believe that it is probably 'Sports One' that Kordell and Peter would be involved in together, being that Kordell is an ex baller. So, where does that leave Cynthia's relationship with Porsha? Gotta be mighty strained. Kordell was a piece of controlling work that Peter probably wished he could emulate with Cynthia. If Kordell is in Peter's ear and company, who knows what all he's been getting up to in Charlotte. I think Cynthia just stopped caring. And not over this. The woman admitted seasons ago to not being sexually attracted to Peter, to not being 'in love' with Peter. Cynthia is not a dummy. Dull maybe, but not stupid. I don't think she has any business being married to anyone and I think she realises and regrets it now. Probably her judgement was clouded by doing the opposite to what her mother and Mallory wanted just on general principal.

Of all the women, I think Cynthia's house feels the most 'real' and believable. Maybe it's good sense, maybe it's good taste. Because I look at Sheree's tasteless turreted 'legacy' and immediately think 'where's the money coming from?' and I look at Kenya's tacky swamp mausoleum and think have fun listening to your dogs' toenails ticking down the empty corridors. Unless of course they are crushed into a carrier in the heat because she's entertaining and can't be bothered with them. Why do NONE of the women on these franchises have the faintest clue about pet care? They view animals as a must have accessory, none of them seem to be housetrained or any other kind of trained, and some of them have been dangerous as a result (Kim Richards and Kingsley). I want Cesar Milan to do an intervention on the lot of them. 

[ghoulina]

So is Kandi practicing elimination communication with Ace? I found that interesting, since that seems to be more of a "crunchy" parenting method, and Kandi doesn't really strike me as crunchy. I have no judgement against it, but she doesn't need to act like Ace is some baby genius because he peed on the potty. EC is NOT about training a baby to use the bathroom, because they are far too young to understand the concept. It's more about training the PARENTS - to recognize the baby's cues and schedule. 

Why did Kenya have a house warming when her house wasn't even ready yet? It seemed like she was just in a rush to get it "done" before Sheree. I mean, she "won", I guess, but I guarantee Sheree's housewarming will blow Kenya's out of the water. Kenya's drive still looked pretty treacherous, but I did like her bedroom with the big windows and all the trees surrounding her. 

Not sure I like the duo of Phaedra and Porsha. I always enjoyed Phaedra, but Porsha has grated since day one. They seem like they're gong to bring a pretty wild side out of each other, so we shall see. Kudos to Porsha for going to anger management. I hope she's being serious about it. Phaedra cracks me up with her "governess"; what is she? Captain VonTrapp? 

When Cynthia mentioned the D word I felt like the heavens had opened and gold was falling from the sky. BOUT. DAMN. TIME. I just hope she really goes through with it and doesn't fall for Peter and his head games. One minute he's being an ass, the next he's talking about not seeing her face for 3 months and how much he misses it. Um, who chose to relocate out of state? That's on you, Papa Smurf. Ugh, make him go away already. 

[ghoulina]

11 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

 

Sheree is this season's shit-stirrer, do it, girl!

 

She totally is, but I can't help but love her. Sheree is one of the few returning housewives I was totally on board with. 

 

11 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

If Kenya didn't want Porsha to come why'd she give Phaedra a plus one? 

So she could bring a date? Like a man? 

 

10 hours ago, njbchlover said:

How ridiculous they all look with their boobs hanging out all over the place - hope they're all using industrial strength fashion tape.

And what was that Kenya said, about the guests at HER party dressing classy? Without all their stuff hanging out? Yet her boobs were one step away from escaping Alcatraz. 

[Empress1]

Can you eve drive on a driveway that was just laid down the day before? And all those empty wall sockets. All that white marble looks cold and unwelcoming to me - Kenya's house doesn't look homey.

[queenjen]

16 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

. Phaedra cracks me up with her "governess"; what is she? Captain VonTrapp? 

Did someone reference Sound of Music?? To the tune of Maria the governess and the Do Re Mi song:

Hos: They're hos. They're all such hos

Ray: I need a break from 'shade'

Me: It's Kenya's favourite word!

Far: (all men get far away!)

So: It's Porsha that's the THOT?

La: But Phaedra thinks she's hot,

Tea: We're loving us some tea

Which brings us back to hos, hos hos hos

Coming soon to Real Housewives: The Musical. TM.

Thankyou and goodnight. 

[ghoulina]

7 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

 

Can you eve drive on a driveway that was just laid down the day before?

 

That driveway did not look fresh, to me. I noticed tons of cracks in it. 

 

queenjen, you are truly THE queen. I bow to you. (but not in a bowing to Negan kind of way.)

[SuzWhat]

10 hours ago, ridethemaverick said:

 

What was Kenya thinking? Who has a housewarming when the house isn't done? Tack.y.

 

What was Kenya thinking? Who has a housewarming when the house isn't done?   How dreadful.  -- Dwight 

Fixed that for you.  :-)

[Petunia13]

@ghoulina you think that's likely after what happened w Apollo?

[thefog]

8 hours ago, queenjen said:

I can't understand the Kenya love out there at all. This woman is a dangerous instigator. Her MO is always the same. If she is not the absolute centre of the universe, if things aren't going exactly the way she wants them to go, she can't deal. She has an instinct, and it may be subconscious or some other deep rooted psychological thing especially given her relationship with her mother, for how precisely to push another human being over the edge. And then to howl 'victim!!'.  She is always bragging about her superior intellect and others lack thereof, and then she uses this to incite.

I think you just answered your own question.  It's not like people want Kenya as a bestie, but her over the top dramatics - fits the show premise.

Edited November 7, 2016 by escape

[thefog]

11 hours ago, ridethemaverick said:

 Sheree kept me laughing.

Sheree brought it in terms of the shade, sass, snark.

Edited November 7, 2016 by escape

[Ubiquitous]

I still shake my head whenever Chateau Sheree comes up on this show. I remember Bob and her appearing on some show with a "life coach" who called out Sheree on her "legacy for my kids" nonsense. Watching Sheree talk about her "legacy" mansion that her children will not be living in confirmed it.

[RedKoolAide]

That life coach was Iyanla trying to fix Sheree's life, lol.

I think my favorite part of last night's episode was Sheree's reaction to Porsha coming to Kenya's Not Yet Finished Housewarming. I laughed a long time at Sheree. It was hilarious.

[ridethemaverick]

1 hour ago, SuzWhat said:

What was Kenya thinking? Who has a housewarming when the house isn't done?   How dreadful.  -- Dwight 

Fixed that for you.  :-)

Thank you lol. I cant believe I missed an opportunity to work in that iconic phrase!

I just realized the title of the episode is a play on "House of Sand and Fog" ?

[ghoulina]

1 hour ago, Petunia13 said:

@ghoulina you think that's likely after what happened w Apollo?

What specifically are you referring to? When he went crazy with the drill in her garage? I mean, dude's in jail. Is she not going to date at all? I think it's standard practice to include a "plus one" when you invite someone to an event, so they can bring their spouse, partner, date, etc. 

[Petunia13]

That she'd bring a man she's interested around the woman she coined Kenya Moore Whore. And yes about dating and parties I've been socially active since age zero in human society. 

Nevermind you missed my original pt which is if she didn't want Porsha coming she could have avoided it.