All Episodes Talk: All Rise

[zillabreeze]

15 hours ago, AuntiePam said:

Not quite Farrah Fawcett but someone like that -- or maybe it's just a generic blonde face. 

Dyan Cannon?

Edited September 7, 2018 by zillabreeze
Sp

[pagooey]

15 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Some yahoos find a way to ride snowmobiles over a guy's roof. Their defense? "There was no sign saying 'don't go over the house'"

Is Sarah Palin's brood up to their antics again?

[Brattinella]

1 hour ago, zillabreeze said:

Dyan Cannon?

Ah, she was quite the cutie! And her hubby wasn't too shabby, either. :)

[patty1h]

What a manbaby Campos the lawyer was.   Wah wah, she cut my hair too short.  Wah wah, she doesn't like Trump.  I need attention and $5K for this act.  What he needs is a vicious face slapping and to be ashamed of himself.

[my tiffany]

The snowmobile case lived up to Toaster's description.  The second - wow - some loon trying to claim $5000 for a $10 haircut as part of some  political statement?

[cmpbl]

54 minutes ago, my tiffany said:

The snowmobile case lived up to Toaster's description.  The second - wow - some loon trying to claim $5000 for a $10 haircut as part of some  political statement?

I wanted to hear why he thought he deserved $5000. I think that would have been very entertaining.

[patty1h]

Going by his hallterview, I think $5K haircut man is loony Trump supporter who just wanted to get on TV and try to push his views, but JJ shut that shit down before he got on a roll.  I'm assuming he's pretty much retired and has too much free time so he has nothing better to do than file nonsense cases.  Think of the hubris -- as an attorney, that he would think that any court would give his case more than a second of attention.  He forgot one of the wonders of nature/biology - hair grows back.

[khyber]

18 hours ago, Toaster Strudel said:

Preview for tomorrow's case: Some yahoos find a way to ride snowmobiles over a guy's roof. Their defense? "There was no sign saying 'don't go over the house'" And there is A VIDEO.

Sight unseen, I award this future episode 10 million gavels and elevate it to the pantheon of Patricia Bean and Ebay of Pigs cases.

Strap in the cheese balls!

[CrazyInAlabama]

Snowmobile idiot-What an idiot, it wasn't running up, it was the concussion on the roof, which is many times the 350 lbs of the snowmobile, plus his drunken a$$.      I love his "I have a lot of practice with drinking"  and three brain cells left.    That must be some well built house, because with most houses snomobile loon would have crashed right through the roof.   I loved the fact that the defendant brought the video.     Someone needs to find out what the factory he works at produces, because it's scary to think someone's life might rely on whatever he's working on.   I'm not sure they were cheese balls, I think in this case it was more like strap on beer kegs.  

$10 haircut-I hope haircut man-baby doesn't have actual clients, because they're in trouble if that's how he thinks.   

Repo sale-Sold a car that was about to be repo'd, and then repo'd it herself ?    Neat trick, but repo guys can find anything, and now they know where it is.        The plaintiff's statement that she only bought through dealers, so she doesn't know how to register one herself is ridiculous.  So defendant sold a car that was owning back payments, then repo'd it herself, and now moved it to Georgia to daddy's driveway.          And she's now trying to sell it again to another sucker?    What a couple of scammers the defendant and plaintiff are. 

Nobody wants little Miss Destiny in their house for long do they, if they have a choice?     I don't think mom has the weapons, because if she did he and her daughter would be riddled with bullets, and buried out behind the shed.    I'm sure mom is a piece of work, but those two 'lovebirds' certainly are jerks.     I'm sure love muffin's dad was thrilled to see the two of them show up at his place.    What is that daughter weaving back and forth for?    She's making me dizzy.    So mom is a convicted felon?   Usually being in the same house with weapons is an instant conviction, so how did she get away with this?   

 What a bunch of scammers they are.  And he claimed the mother's two other kids as his dependents.  I'm glad the IRS nailed him for that, and I he's going to get audited every year for the rest of his life, and mom will be lucky if the IRS doesn't get her too after this.   

Scammers like this might remember that the federal government tried for years to get Al Capone, but the IRS is the one that sent him to prison for the rest of his life.    

So three out of the four cases today were scammers?    

Edited September 7, 2018 by CrazyInAlabama

[Florinaldo]

The arguments presented as a defense by the snowmobiler were silly and dumb, but I was not shocked or surprised by them.

That's because I live in Québec, where that particualr contraption was developed and where practitioners of that "sport" number in the thousands. A good portion of them act as if the woods, lands, roads, etc. all belong to them and they have unfettered access to them; they have no qualms about trespassing on farmer's fields or any property or about taking down barriers and fences put up by the legal owners. Their arguments are usually as stupid as those of the defendant, with an added dose of entitled arrogance that flares up as soon as they get that vehicle between their legs.

The guy was idiotic enough to think that his video actually exonerated him? I think he has breathed too much fumes from snowmobile engines.

 

40 minutes ago, patty1h said:

Going by his hallterview, I think $5K haircut man is loony Trump supporter who just wanted to get on TV and try to push his views,

I did not know you could still get 10 $ haircuts; that being said, he does not have that much hairy raw material to begin with. He did get a crappy haircut, but his reaction was out of proportion with the results. If I got a buzzcut like that I would certainly be annoyed and ask for my money back and reasonable compensation (like a few free future haircuts), but not go all crazy about it. Like you said, he probably was looking for a forum to grandstand.

Edited September 7, 2018 by Florinaldo

[Brattinella]

Clean up in Aisle Three.

[AngelaHunter]

12 minutes ago, Florinaldo said:

That's because I live in Québec, where that particualr contraption was developed and where practitioners of that "sport" number in the thousands. A good portion of them act as if the woods, lands, roads, etc. all belong to them and they have unfettered access to them; they have no qualms about trespassing on farmer's fields or any property or about taking down barriers and fences put up by the legal owners. Their arguments are usually as stupid as those of the defendant, with an added dose of entitled arrogance that flares up as soon as they get that vehicle between their legs.

I haven't seen this ep, but I live in Qc too. Snowmobilers are northern yahoos who think it's fun to harass and chase wildlife on their big, smelly, noisy machines - wildlife already in depleted conditions due to the severe winters we have. True heros and Macho Men. I've been forced off cross-country ski trails and been left choking in fumes so these dipshits could roar along them.  Unfortunately (depending on how you look at it) every year a bunch of them end up drowning in frozen lakes as they stupidly speed over them.

[CrazyInAlabama]

The snowmobile fool is lucky he's still in one piece.   If that roof hadn't been very strong, he could have crashed right through, or the front skis could have crashed through and he would have been catapaulted ahead, or the snowmobile could have landed on him.     There could easily have been wires over the roof too. 

 

Years ago, some people we knew had a farm out in Pennsylvania, and one snowy night someone came pounding on their door.   A group had been snowmobiling (and trespassing on posted farm land), and one adventurous rider went full bore across the field, and found out there was fence over a hidden depression, and the rider lost his head.  

If I got a haircut that much shorter than what I wanted I seriously would have demanded a refund, but I would never allow that person near my head with sharp objects again.     I really doubt that he only wanted a tiny bit off either, I bet he said buzz cut so he could sue, and get on T.V.

Edited September 8, 2018 by CrazyInAlabama

[Toaster Strudel]

The fanatical Trump lawyer had one objective, and it was to play the victim card by claiming a capillary hate crime. He wasn't really expecting $5000. He wanted a platform to make a case that a degenerate, tattooed, America-hating, socialist, low-life liberal hairdresser discriminated against him for wanting to make America great again.

JJ didn't want to play.

[augmentedfourth]

19 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

The fanatical Trump lawyer had one objective, and it was to play the victim card by claiming a capillary hate crime. He wasn't really expecting $5000. He wanted a platform to make a case that a degenerate, tattooed, America-hating, socialist, low-life liberal hairdresser discriminated against him for wanting to make America great again.

JJ didn't want to play.

He didn't even deserve the $10 back for the haircut, since he "ate the steak", as we all love to say. JJ gave him the $10 to make him shut up and go away. Based in the law or not, it was a wise move, and I'd even be willing to reimburse her for the $10 for how good of a decision I found it to be. ;) 

[AngelaHunter]

54 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

A group had been snowmobiling (and trespassing on posted farm land), and one adventurous rider went full bore across the field, and found out there was fence over a hidden depression, and the rider lost his head.  

There probably wasn't much in it, anyway. I mean, it's not as though the world lost the next Albert Einstein. I know, I know - I'm a horrible person.

2 hours ago, stewedsquash said:

Just to tease you a bit, you didn't know there was such a thing as Smucker's frozen pbj's, haha 

I did not know that! I have also never had a "Slim Jim" and am not sure what that might be.

[Mondrianyone]

JJ should've prepared an order that haircut lawyer had to buy--and wear--a Trump wig with his $10.  Or two or three of them--how much could they cost?

We have a lot of wooded acreage, and there were snowmobile trails on our property when we bought this house.  We said that the snowmobile club could keep using them, as long as they took responsibility for maintaining the trails.  They never did a thing--I think they expected us to do the work--and one year a tree fell across one of the trails, soon covered by snow.  I harbored secret hopes . . .

We had a moose pay us a visit several days ago.  She was very thin--a lot of moose in eastern states are suffering from a terrible wasting disease, aggravated by climate change and limited food sources.  It made me sad to think of that idiot kid and his ilk making wildlife's existence even harder than it already is.

[CrazyInAlabama]

If anyone hasn't had a Slim Jim, you can find them on every checkout aisle at any Walmart.     For beginners, get the mild one, since spicy might be a little much for a beginner.  The salt content is a bit much too, and those on salt restricted diets should only have a bite, or risk bloating up like a swollen toad (if you don't know how bad that is, believe me it's bad).   And I think they might have some that have jalapeno in them, so you might want to avoid those too unless you want to risk your ears melting off. 

 

Thinking back, I do believe that when we heard about the headless snowmobile trespasser, and his fatal accident several of us said it was cleaning up the gene pool, because he was empty headed before he ran into the wire.  I don't know if they had the Darwin Awards then or not, but he wasn't even a decent nominee.    Bozo the snowmobiler was telling his friends when to watch him on his Facebook.   I guess some people want to make sure everyone on the planet knows they're total idiots.    I hope every single vacation rental landlord in the Great Lakes region noted this man's behavior, and name, and the name of his stupid friends.  

[WhoaWhoKnew]

Haircut lawyer's hallterview was so odd. He wanted to be tried by a jury of his peers? Like this is real court? And this was some kind of a politically motivated cosmetological hate crime?

WHAT

[CrazyInAlabama]

2 minutes ago, WhoaWhoKnew said:

Haircut lawyer's hallterview was so odd. He wanted to be tried by a jury of his peers? Like this is real court? And this was some kind of a politically motivated cosmetological hate crime?

WHAT

Politically motivated cosmetological hate crime--I love that, and I'm sure it will be added to the hate crime laws soon.  

[WhoaWhoKnew]

2 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Politically motivated cosmetological hate crime--I love that, and I'm sure it will be added to the hate crime laws soon.  

Lmao! He will lobby congress for it, so no one ever has to suffer such an indignity again!

[Brattinella]

1 hour ago, AngelaHunter said:

3 hours ago, stewedsquash said:

Just to tease you a bit, you didn't know there was such a thing as Smucker's frozen pbj's, haha 

LOL!  You got me!

[AngelaHunter]

1 hour ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

For beginners, get the mild one, since spicy might be a little much for a beginner.  The salt content is a bit much too, and those on salt restricted diets should only have a bite, or risk bloating up like a swollen toad (if you don't know how bad that is, believe me it's bad).   And I think they might have some that have jalapeno in them, so you might want to avoid those too unless you want to risk your ears melting off. 

As irresistable as you make them sound, I was going to say I'll pass, but salty and greasy are two of my favorite things. Never noticed them in Walmart, or anywhere actually. Will look next time.

 

1 hour ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Politically motivated cosmetological hate crime--I love that, and I'm sure it will be added to the hate crime laws soon.  

That's getting to be one long-ass list, but what'cha gonna do? Haters gonna hate!

[Brattinella]

1 minute ago, AngelaHunter said:

As irresistable as you make them sound, I was going to say I'll pass, but salty and greasy are two of my favorite things. Never noticed them in Walmart, or anywhere actually. Will look next time.

I absolutely adore Slim Jims!  Just the regular flavor, they are a little black peppery but not overly so.  They do fill the need for salty/greasy!

[Florinaldo]

12 hours ago, augmentedfourth said:

He didn't even deserve the $10 back for the haircut, since he "ate the steak", as we all love to say.

With a steak, you know after a bite or two if it's good or cooked too much and you can send it back right then; with a haircut, you have to wait until the end to judge the results and see if you got a good cut. Unless he ordered a buzzcut, this was bad service, thus the refund as an acceptable expectation. Nothing in the same order of magnitude as his totally crazy monetary demands.

Edited September 8, 2018 by Florinaldo

[CrazyInAlabama]

As out there as he seemed, I wouldn't be surprised if he told the hairdresser to cut it really short, and then he could come on the show for the publicity.      I bet he emailed the show to apply, and you can do that on their website.  

[AuntiePam]

10 hours ago, zillabreeze said:

Dyan Cannon?

Yeah, I think so.  Or maybe a combination of Farrah, Dyan, and Sharon Stone.  ??

The kid on the snow-mobile -- I ended up feeling sorry for him.  He was one of the more polite and well-spoken young men I've ever seen on the show, but that did him no good.  I thought Judy got way too personal, berating this kid.  He thought he was doing the right thing -- bringing the video to show that he wasn't going to try to lie about using the roof as a ski jump.  I can't believe he's the first person to do it with a snowmobile, or to use it as a ski jump.  The house is built into the side of a hill -- the roof will be part sod, with snow covering it -- perfect for snow sports. 

Between JJ calling him a moron, over and over, and making up stupid analogies -- broken glass on a beach, spiderman on a skyscraper, etc. -- she overdid it.  She brought a gun to a knife fight.

[AngelaHunter]

3 hours ago, Brattinella said:

Just the regular flavor, they are a little black peppery but not overly so.  They do fill the need for salty/greasy!

Grease, salt AND black pepper? I know where I'm going tomorrow.

[zillabreeze]

5 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

As irresistable as you make them sound, I was going to say I'll pass, but salty and greasy are two of my favorite things. Never noticed them in Walmart, or anywhere actually. Will look next time.

Pair with a cold brew with a citrus undertone.  Trailer trash cuisine at it's finest.... 

[zillabreeze]

10 hours ago, stewedsquash said:

When I read the case title and it said slim jim, my mind went to the thingy you use to open locked car doors;

Me too!!!  Cops used to carry them.  Was told several years ago that they still do, but won't use them because they could accidentally scratch the paint or tear the weatherstrip

[Florinaldo]

15 hours ago, AngelaHunter said:

Snowmobilers are northern yahoos who think it's fun to harass and chase wildlife on their big, smelly, noisy machines - wildlife already in depleted conditions due to the severe winters we have. True heros and Macho Men. I've been forced off cross-country ski trails and been left choking in fumes so these dipshits could roar along them.

That was your fault you know.

Snowmobiles are gentle and harmless machines, who mean no harm to humans, But you must have provoked them with your attitude and ski gear, which caused them to go into "defense mode". As proof of how inoffensive they are, owners will gladly offer pictures of smiling children sitting on them with no threat to their safety, which means they cannot be faulted for any incident involving skiers who anyway should have known better and changed trails, even though the rider was (it goes without saying) in full control of the beast at all time.

Edited September 8, 2018 by Florinaldo

[Matty]

I like when JJ uses Yiddish terms. Some of them I know and some I don't. When she uses a Yiddish word that I haven't heard before I immediately look up the meaning. I now have a whole new vocabulary. Smutz, meshugganah, mensch, schlep, kvetch, etc. I'm not Jewish, well, I am, way back in the ancestry line of Sephardic Jews from Spain that came to the New World but that's another story and not for this forum. 

[WhoaWhoKnew]

37 minutes ago, Matty said:

I like when JJ uses Yiddish terms. Some of them I know and some I don't. When she uses a Yiddish word that I haven't heard before I immediately look up the meaning. I now have a whole new vocabulary. Smutz, meshugganah, mensch, schlep, kvetch, etc. I'm not Jewish, well, I am, way back in the ancestry line of Sephardic Jews from Spain that came to the New World but that's another story and not for this forum. 

I love learning Yiddish from her, too!

Fakahkta (sp?) is my favorite.

[Toaster Strudel]

19 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

he ran into the wire

So it worked kind of like a weed whacker?

[AngelaHunter]

2 hours ago, Matty said:

I now have a whole new vocabulary. Smutz, meshugganah, mensch, schlep, kvetch, etc.

Hey, remember when JJ got bleeped for saying, "He was looking for a little shtupping" and seemed rather confused about why?  I love her Yiddish words, just as I love when JM speaks in rapid-fire Spanish.

 

57 minutes ago, Toaster Strudel said:

So it worked kind of like a weed whacker?

That puts an oddly satisfying visual in my head.

[Brattinella]

4 minutes ago, AngelaHunter said:

Hey, remember when JJ got bleeped for saying, "He was looking for a little shtupping" and seemed rather confused about why?  I love her Yiddish words, just as I love when JM speaks in rapid-fire Spanish.

I must say, though, my favorite is "shlong".  It is onomatopoeic, you see. :)

[AngelaHunter]

6 hours ago, Brattinella said:

I must say, though, my favorite is "shlong".  It is onomatopoeic, you see. :)

Hahaha! That's true, isn't it? And I must say, that is a word I use myself.

What about when this doughy douchebag got on JJ's last nerve  and she said an un-bleeped "rat's ass"?

[Hellohappylife]

On 9/7/2018 at 12:25 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

Even worse, I wonder if the hotel room fool was using her own debit card, or if it was someone else's and that's why the I.D. requirement didn't work either. 

 

That what I don’t understand. I wonder if the whole thing was a scam. She has the friend use her credit card, so that they can later on report the charges and she gets away with because her name isn’t attached.

Also I don’t understand how these people always leave their ID’s at home,I mean it’s not hard to put it in your wallet/bag. 

[Hellohappylife]

On 9/7/2018 at 4:31 PM, cmpbl said:

I wanted to hear why he thought he deserved $5000. I think that would have been very entertaining.

I bet he wanted the money for hair inplant surgery.  

[AngelaHunter]

13 hours ago, Hellohappylife said:

I bet he wanted the money for hair inplant surgery.  

Another crackpot, goofball lawyer! One of my favorite litigants!

 

13 hours ago, Hellohappylife said:

Also I don’t understand how these people always leave their ID’s at home,

They leave their drivers' licenses, registrations and insurance cards at home, just as they do important evidence they swear exists, but they don't have it with them "today." They can email it, or come back next week and they'll have it for sure! Or maybe JJ can go to their crib/hovel/trailer/place they squat and they'll show it to her!

Edited September 9, 2018 by AngelaHunter

[AZChristian]

1 minute ago, AngelaHunter said:

They leave their drivers' licenses, registrations and insurance cards at home, just as they do important evidence they swear exists, but they don't have it with them "today." They can email it, or come back next week and they'll have it for sure!

Or JJ can just call their godsister and ax her to confirm the litigant's story.

[AngelaHunter]

5 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Or JJ can just call their godsister and ax her to confirm the litigant's story.

One case this past week - gone from my memory banks - had so much axing going on I was truly suprised all the litigants still had their limbs intact.

[stephinmn]

We don't think like that in Minnesota. LOL

[SandyToes]

On 8/30/2018 at 6:01 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

Her defense in the halterview is she doesn't play golf,

WAAAAAY late to the party and waaaaaaay behind.  But this was hysterical.  I can only imagine JJ's reaction!

[SandyToes]

On 9/2/2018 at 4:35 PM, AngelaHunter said:

"JARemy"? Jaremy Cox, brokeass wide-load is a hot property! He's got a baby momma, an ex-girlfriend who was willing to take advances on her credit card (at probably 25% interest) to give the money to Jaremy for his lawyer for HIS kids, and now he has a new, even wider-load wife who guards his interests like a rabid bulldog and will not let any of his love-struck exes take advantage of him. Whatever mysterious and very well-hidden qualities Jaremy possesses, they work! New wife should have taken the time to iron the brand-new, out-of-the-package XXX-large K-Mart shirt Jaremy donned for his 15 minutes here.

Susan Kast, sociopathic liar and scammer was - as JJ would say - "some piece of work." She made my skin crawl. Susan? A little advice for your future court appearances: Don't pull your head in like that. Trust me, the scrunched-up dewlaps are not a good look. And - sleeves!

I'm dying here, reading these!  Haven't seen any of these cases, but this is absolutely hilarious. Mr. Toes keeps asking what I'm laughing at, and it just doesn't translate! 

The " jewelry jurry"  "fix" from a couple of pages back nearly had me in tears.  And Emily Litella!  Ha! 

Quote

Topo Gigio

Hee!  @AngelaHunter I knew we were twins separated at birth!

It is pouring rain here, and I really don't want to go teach today. Maybe I'll give them an "in class" assignment so I can stay on the couch and watch some Judy action.  I didn't think I was missing much until I came back here to catch up.  Dang!

Edited September 10, 2018 by SandyToes

[AngelaHunter]

On 9/2/2018 at 7:50 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

 I suspect the crew in the makeup and wardrobe are also the supplier of those hideous, neon colored wigs that many of these fools will hide their identities. 

Hey, remember when some dumb bimbo came in with her tat - probably pornographic or wildly offensive ("Fuck The Cops" e.g.) in some way - covered up with black electrical tape?

The entire production crew here has a wonderful, twisted, snarky sense of humour. The captions, the cheap, giant folded shirts, the hideous hoodies and the camera angles? You just know those people sit behind the scenes, turning blue while trying to stifle their laughter as they watch their creations walking into the courtroom.

[KittyMom4]

On 9/8/2018 at 12:09 AM, CrazyInAlabama said:

As out there as he seemed, I wouldn't be surprised if he told the hairdresser to cut it really short, and then he could come on the show for the publicity.      I bet he emailed the show to apply, and you can do that on their website.  

I got the same vibe, like he wanted to pick a fight for his 5 minutes of fame. I loved that JJ kept shutting him down as he tried to steamroll his agenda into his case. That poor stylist looked confused and amused. My fiance has had longer-ish hair as well as a buzz cut, he says that the guy would have felt and probably seen the first swipe of the clippers and could have voiced his objection then. I think he sat there smirking like a loon rubbing his hands together thinking of his big TEE VEE debut......

[KittyMom4]

On 9/7/2018 at 7:07 PM, Florinaldo said:

That's because I live in Québec, where that particualr contraption was developed and where practitioners of that "sport" number in the thousands. A good portion of them act as if the woods, lands, roads, etc. all belong to them and they have unfettered access to them; they have no qualms about trespassing on farmer's fields or any property or about taking down barriers and fences put up by the legal owners. Their arguments are usually as stupid as those of the defendant, with an added dose of entitled arrogance that flares up as soon as they get that vehicle between their legs

I grew up in a small rural town, these idiots used to ride across my parents yard at all hours of the night. Every spring my dad would be out there cursing them as he resodded what they tore up. He complained to the sheriff to no avail. 

On 9/7/2018 at 8:15 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

Years ago, some people we knew had a farm out in Pennsylvania, and one snowy night someone came pounding on their door.   A group had been snowmobiling (and trespassing on posted farm land), and one adventurous rider went full bore across the field, and found out there was fence over a hidden depression, and the rider lost his head.  

Two years a go a group of 3 riders attempted to cross a partially frozen lake, in the dark after several beers. I felt sorry for their families, standing in the cold waiting for the recovery divers to bring up their bodies. The riders, not so much. 

[CrazyInAlabama]

They had a similar fatal accident on the Maine edition of North Woods Law.    And they said that other riders love to go on the melting ice, get up to speed, and try to make it across the holes melted in the ice, and many times don't make it.  

[chenoa333]

Our JJ episode today with defendant in his mid? 40's? Purple shirt with matching purple dyed hair tips. Plaintiff accused him of causing her car damage due to his road rage. Plaintiff had police video of incident and purple man still denied any wrong doing. Nothing better than humiliating yourself on national tv. And not even realizing it.