S04.E06: For Richer Or Poorer

[jenrising]

2 hours ago, BunnySlippers said:

As for Derek saying that he's committed, yes, that's nice, but it's just words. Every chance he gets, he complains about Heather and attacks her about something. He couldn't wait to tear her down in front of the pastor. She could barely talk because he kept talking over her. And that's why the pastor sent him out: so that he could actually talk to Heather without Derek's interruptions.

Yup. He snaps at her while she's barely keeping it together and then whines. It's similar to what he did on the honeymoon. His idea of compromise seems to be "I'll say something really mean to you, feel better, and then be mad because you're not over it the second I am." 

Like I said last week, they're just terrible together. Both have issues and are the worst possible match for each other. And as much as pastor shouty was going on about their initial interest, which they did have, they despise each other. For good reason. Just let them be. 

Also, I'm sure nick and his dogs will be very happy together. And I thought Sonia did a good job of trying to deal with the dogs, even though she was clearly terrified of them. Again, A+ matchmaking, "experts."

[ctbabe]

2 hours ago, Jason said:

The only mistake Heather made was checking the ok with occasional smoking box.    Derrick is immature, looks and acts like an idiot.  He would have worn anyone out.  Heather is actually rather wonderful.  The Pastor that interviewed them is a blind idiot.

So you joined 2hrs ago just to say Heather is rather wonderful... ;) 

[film noire]

6 hours ago, ExplainItAgain said:

 

Nick and Sonia are just so awkward. I'm not even sure if they have 1 personality between them.

He's got such a weird affect, this "I don't DO facial expressions!!" thing combined with a backbeat of serial killer ("I like the pacing. This is day 5. It is not day 30. Or day 46. Or day 62, when I lock you in the bunker with my other wives.") And that kinda works (in all the wrong ways) with Sonia, who has a pearl necklace of weird qualities -- one after another, strung on silk -- the biggest being something that reminds me of the just-below-the-surface panic of a cult survivor. (A Jonestown member who escaped the koolaid, all nervous giggles and childhood memories of throwing away the cup -- "This is no no bad juicey! Wake up, Momma!!" -- and she runs into the jungle and survives and turns up decades later, needing a man to be A MAN because if he isn't JIM JONES WILL FIND HER. PLUS DOGGIES.) I mean, jesus, I'm not looking for a Skinner experiment here -- I want a stupid-ass but fun reality show where people get married and I stand back and eat pop chips and drink vodka lemonade and enjoy the game -- but they keep casting people with too many soft, broken places and that makes me feel like I should be out there doing social work and attending lectures on misogyny and white male privilege and building affordable housing for dudebros stuck in a bus. Way to fuck up my end-of-summer fun, assholes.

Edited August 31, 2016 by film noire

[Empress1]

4 hours ago, jenrising said:

And I thought Sonia did a good job of trying to deal with the dogs, even though she was clearly terrified of them. Again, A+ matchmaking, "experts."

Me too. I have a phobia of snakes; if Nick had had a pet snake, I'd have said, in a shaky voice while starting to panic, that I couldn't go in there, sorry. I can't see them on TV or in movies, I can't be near them, there can't be a suggestion that they're anywhere around, period. He'd have to get rid of it or we'd have to break up. Sonia did better than that.

Also not surprised that Sonia has debt - I assumed she would have at least student loans. Miami is expensive, social workers don't make much ($43K won't go far there and she's probably been climbing the ranks to get to $43K), and I'd bet she has an MSW and has loans from that.

Straight men are generally not that complicated when it comes to showing you that they care about and are attracted to you. I learned this lesson the hard way: when a man is acting like he doesn't care about you, it's because he doesn't care about you. No more, no less. If Sonia has spent a week with Nick and she's not sure if he's attracted to her, he probably isn't. That doesn't mean he never will be, but I'm sure it stings.

[brilliantbreakfast]

Lilly and the bus really hit home for me.  Like Lilly, I met this really good-looking guy with whom I was immediately smitten beyond words.  When he suggested we move in together, I was living in a decent and safe garden apartment, and he was living in a 4th floor walkup where the roof leaked, and he and his roommate hadn't cleaned ANYTHING for years.  The finish was off the inside of the toilet and it was all rusty.  It was an old building with one of those kitchens with NO workspace at all, and there were plastic trash bags full of beer bottles that his roommate had left when he moved out.  It was $100/month, which was dirt cheap even in 1984.  And for a few brief weeks, I thought that I could fix the place up...until I started having panic attacks in the middle of the night because I did not want to live there.  We ended up finding a new apartment where we could both commute to our jobs.

It didn't seem fake to me that she was going to try to be OK with the bus.  Inside of Lilly is a zaftig girl screaming to get out.  The minute she hits 30, keeping that juicy little body is going to be next to impossible.  It's not her fault, she's just not built to be a bikini girl for more than a few years.  She does not seem particularly confident to me, despite being a real estate agent and in sales.  I'm guessing she battles her weight constantly.  She is so agog at being matched with this good-looking guy that if he asked her to stand on her head and spit wooden nickels, she'd be on her head spitting.  The problem is that there is only so long that the things you find charming, or at least tolerable, in a new relationship, start to become not-so-charming once you really start getting into building a life together.  In the beginning you can make your peace with messiness, or having no help around the house, or pot smoking, or living in a bus, or whatever Mr. Handsome's particular quirks are.  But that doesn't last, and I don't see ANY kind of shared value system between Lilly and Tom to keep them together.  

As for Nick and Sonia,, Nick keeps talking about how he's quirky, and she talks about how she's quirky, and they probably used these words in the interviews and got matched because of that.  But just like Neal and Sam last season, quirky people are not quirky in the same way.  One person's quirk might be something like OCD, while another's might be writing fan fiction and going to science fiction conventions.  The word "quirky" by itself means nothing, and so we have what at BEST is a painfully introverted guy matched with an extroverted but painfully insecure woman.

I could match people better than these so-called "experts" did.

Edited August 31, 2016 by brilliantbreakfast

[mamey2422]

2 hours ago, film noire said:

He's got such a weird affect, this "I don't DO facial expressions!!" thing combined with a backbeat of serial killer ("I like the pacing. This is day 5. It is not day 30. Or day 46. Or day 62, when I lock you in the bunker with my other wives.") And that kinda works (in all the wrong ways) with Sonia, who has a pearl necklace of weird qualities -- one after another, strung on silk -- the biggest being something that reminds me of the just-below-the-surface panic of a cult survivor. (A Jonestown member who escaped the koolaid, all nervous giggles and childhood memories of throwing away the cup -- "This is no no bad juicey! Wake up, Momma!!" -- and she runs into the jungle and survives and turns up decades later, needing a man to be A MAN because if he isn't JIM JONES WILL FIND HER. PLUS DOGGIES.) I mean, jesus, I'm not looking for a Skinner experiment here -- I want a stupid-ass but fun reality show where people get married and I stand back and eat pop chips and drink vodka lemonade and enjoy the game -- but they keep casting people with too many soft, broken places and that makes me feel like I should be out there doing social work and attending lectures on misogyny and white male privilege and building affordable housing for dudebros stuck in a bus. Way to fuck up my end-of-summer fun, assholes.

I've been on these/TWOP forums for a long time and watching watching reality TV for even longer and your description of Sonia is the most perfect thing I've ever read. Super well done! 

She giggled in the episode during one of her talking heads in a way that made me think something was off with her. You nailed it.

8 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

Tom and Lily won't make it.  I'd get blasted if I told my reasoning but I think a few men watching the show picked up on it.

Please share!

[operalover]

The reason Heather is not calling it quits now is because there must be something in the contract that she gives up a great deal of money if she doesn't stick it out until the end. THIS is the dilemma she is facing. She cannot stand him but doesn't want to give up the $$$ but she is going to have to work really hard for it. Of course she would have said YES I'm done NOW. But the money is hanging over her head.

[qtpye]

8 hours ago, Jack Sampson said:

Tom and Lily won't make it.  I'd get blasted if I told my reasoning but I think a few men watching the show picked up on it

I actually would really like to know, since I am not a man and this type of insight is always interesting.  I promise I will not blast you, everyone has a right to an opinion.  I think Sonia is cute, but that does not mean some one else does not have the right to find her chubby and unattractive is  an example.

[Jack Sampson]

8 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Why wasn't Ashley given the choice to leave last season ? We all know if it was possible , she would have skidaddled instantly .

Everyone is allowed to leave whenever they want.  She would never do it because it would contradict her "really sweet girl who just takes some time to warm up to strangers" lie.  She needed to wait the required 6 weeks to create the illusion that she tried her best.  Of course anyone with a brain saw through the act. 

Plus, bailing after a week wouldn't have made her ex sufficiently jealous. 

[Primetimer]

And more not-quite-burning questions sparked by 'For Richer Or Poorer'!

View the full article

[Lily247]

Omg...... what is going on with Nick and Sonia ..... he wants to be friends first, yet he has never had a close female friend (?). She is clearly getting FRIENDzoned, duh. I feel bad because she gets cuter and cuter every episode (her looks grew on me) and I like her personality, so easygoing and lighthearted. I am also afraid of dogs and would not date a dog owner. I once dated a guy who had a pet tarantula (EWWw!!!) I was like , cya. 

I did not like the dress Lily wore to go look at their new home, yes it is Miami and its hot and I'm sure people dress in a summerly way but I thought for daytime it was mildly trashy. Too short and too tight, and too dressy. But what do I know, where I live people only dress like that for a special event at night, maybe its diferent if youre Latin. I also dont get why in the previews she said she wanted kids and he said he didnt.... why would the matchmakers pair up people with completely opposite family goals ?? Really ? That is the biggest issue !! I mean, Lily does want to wait 5 years which is forever, but still. 

I am not sure what Jack Sampson is referring to when he says that Tom has lost interest in Lily for a particular reason, but I'll take a guess... is it the fact that they had sex so soon ? Otherwise I'm stumped on that one. 

[humbleopinion]

Moustachley had an revenge agenda to prove to her family and friends that she wasn't such a big loser by landing a starring role in a cable reality show.

Fortunately, it just showed the hundreds of us who watch M@FS that her ex was a genius to dump her since she is a emotionless husk of a human with a fuzzy upper lip.

She just sat there and smiled like a cat that just swallowed a mouse the times David was emoting.

She was taking her victory laps every time she got a close up.

We got a lens full of her stubble.

[Neurochick]

10 hours ago, cardigirl said:

Pastor Calvin is one of the best things about this new season . I love him.  

I agree, but what I don't get is, what exactly IS the deal with Heather.  She just kept saying, "I'm done."  I'm looking at her blank face and wondering what exactly happened.  I can't believe she's that upset because Derek got mad with her for the surf instructor thing.  Heather was to vague for me.

Sonia said that when she was a child, her grandmother had a St Bernard.  One day the dog jumped on another little girl and scratched her face up, that's why Sonia is afraid of dogs.  I don't know why she was paired with Nick, who has two dogs.  However, I think I get Nick; last week I mentioned a married couple I know; the wife told me that they were both members of a club, she noticed the man she eventually married, however he didn't ask her out for six months.  Later when she asked him why he'd taken so long, he said that he wanted to make sure they were both on the same page about life and the world, and he wanted to make sure she wasn't crazy.  I think the couples are wise to hold off on sex; sometimes sex messes up relationships, especially if one person gets too attached, too soon.  IRL these people would know each other very well before marriage.  For some reason, I sense that Sonia would be the type of person to fall hard for Nick, if they had sex and maybe that's what scares Nick.

I don't understand why people think Tom is some "Ten Bundy-ish" serial killer dude.  I just don't see it, but then again, I don't watch Lifetime.

Quote

When Nick said he had never had a close relationship with a woman

That's not what he said.  I believe he said he never had a close friendship with a woman. 

Edited August 31, 2016 by Neurochick

[Lily247]

I also cant help but notice the outfits they wear... I loved Heather's chambray dress ! 

[Marsupial]

Quote

Pastor Calvin is one of the best things about this new season . I love him.  

Agreed, I bet he is a great marriage counselor.

That said, I agree with the above poster who stated that working on a marriage and fighting for it is appropriate only if you have a shared history and a well of memories to draw on. I completely agree, marriage is worth fighting for. But these people don't have a "real" marriage, and they can barely stand each other. I can't even fault either one of them. Heather may be judgmental and uptight but Derek is very childish and has poor impulse control. They both have problems that could interfere with having a successful relationship but they are not going to work out those problems with each other, in this type of format. I kept waiting for DEREK to just leave, but he doesn't have the balls to just say that. It's all on Heather and if she bails, she's going to look like the bad guy, the one who didn't try. I think that's unfair.

[Lily247]

About the washing feet before bed honestly I haven't heard of people doing it except those who live in Saudi Arabia for religious reasons or because it s so dusty over there. I was raised that wearing shoes in the house is disrespectful and it feels very uncomfortable for me. My in laws all wear flip flops in the house and consider me a cavewoman for going shoeless. However sometimes I wear socks. I am not surprised that Lily is OCD about clean, since she does seem to think very highly of herself and that often comes with the territory. BTW, what was with Tom's capri leggings (?)

[Magoo]

There was a LOT of dirt coming off Tom's feet when he was rinsing them off before bed. It was swirling around in the tub.  I'm not a clean freak, but that was gross and I don't blame Lilly at all for insisting he wash that crap off before climbing into clean sheets and rubbing that nastiness on her. 

[henrysmom]

http://www.thewrap.com/9-married-at-first-sight-burning-questions/

For those asking about the show requiring prenups, this is an interview with one of the executive producers, where he states they do have everybody sign a prenup saying whatever you take to the marriage, you take out of it.  I can only assume this little story thread was added for drama.

[Marsupial]

Thoughts on this episode:

Lily and Tom continue to be cute together, compatible and willing to work with each other. That may change, but so far I kind of like them a lot. Neither one gives me a weird vibe, the only issue that may come up is that she seems to be a bit of a clean freak (nothing wrong with that) while he is...less so. Not a slob, but not a super clean guy, I mean, dirty feet in the bed squicks me out  too. I think Lily has my level of cleanliness, we like a clean home and a clean bed but not by any means OCD.

Heather and Derek: I think they're done unless they both make a massive effort. I could see a physical attraction developing there that could help them get over the rough spots, and I don't buy Derek's statement that he doesn't find Heather attractive. I call bs on that.

Sonia and Nick: They won't make it for one simple reason, which is that she is way, way, way more into him than he is into her. They have not even had sex yet and she is clearly crazy about him, and he is clearly not. That NEVER WORKS. As I've told many a younger woman, if my many decades of walking this earth and knowing love and loss have taught me anything, just one thing, it's that a relationship will not work unless the man is crazy about the woman. NEVER. And even if it seems to, it just limps along causing nothing but daily, low-level heartbreak for the woman. It's NOT WORTH IT because a man who isn't nuts about a woman from the start is never going to get there. So they are doomed, maybe even worse than Heather and Derek.

Quote

I hope some big-hearted, responsible guy, preferably Latino, sees her on the show and gets in touch.

Agree 100 percent on this and it needs 1000 likes. Sonia needs a warm-hearted guy who is wild for her and frankly I'm surprised she hasn't found one in Miami. The Latino community tends to be one where everyone is always trying to match everybody up and get them married and making babies. But she is shy, and maybe she doesn't have family here.

As to Lily's dress, I am half Latina and Latina women do dress like that, frequently, for all occasions. I have a few dresses like that myself but I hardly ever wear them, although Mr. Marsupial, who is Latino, wishes I would wear them daily LOL.

[Vinyasa]

Quote

She cannot stand him but doesn't want to give up the $$$ but she is going to have to work really hard for it. Of course she would have said YES I'm done NOW. But the money is hanging over her head.

This article from last season says the participants are not paid and as cheap as this show is (hotel rooms, wedding dresses etc) it seems true.

I think the only "money" is future money from interviews and if you can spin your own jewelry line and write a book ( ie Jamie!)

http://www.movienewsguide.com/married-first-sight-couples-unpaid-episodes-nominal-sum-paid-cover-divorce-costs/155358

So I don't think Heather is hanging around for a cash payout from the show! That being said, she still could be looking for her 15 minutes.

Edited August 31, 2016 by Vinyasa

[Lily247]

7 minutes ago, Vinyasa said:

This article from last season says the participants are not paid and as cheap as this show is (hotel rooms, wedding dresses etc) it seems true.

I think the only "money" is future money from interviews and if you can spin your own jewelry line and write a book ( ie Jamie!)

http://www.movienewsguide.com/married-first-sight-couples-unpaid-episodes-nominal-sum-paid-cover-divorce-costs/155358

So I don't think Heather is hanging around for a cash payout from the show! That being said, she still could be looking for her 15 minutes.

I think it must be a contract or something. 

14 minutes ago, Magoo said:

There was a LOT of dirt coming off Tom's feet when he was rinsing them off before bed. It was swirling around in the tub.  I'm not a clean freak, but that was gross and I don't blame Lilly at all for insisting he wash that crap off before climbing into clean sheets and rubbing that nastiness on her. 

Oooooooh yea those were dirty feet. 

[Neurochick]

9 hours ago, AllisonWonderland said:

I'm sorry, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here--we all think HEATHER was hard done by in the session with Pastor Cal, and that DEREK wasn't being held responsible for his plans to make things better?! He straight up said "I am committed to this. I want to find a way to make this work." while she Icequeen'd out next to him. Unless they cut it out of the episode, Derek never got the chance to speak freely to the pastor, which is totally unfair from a therapy/counseling perspective. Each person's needs and concerns are as valid as his or her partner's, so for her to get the full attention of the meeting turned it into a "Let's all brainstorm a way to placate Heather for another few weeks!" powwow.

I feel like I'm taking those same pills too.  Heather was the one complaining, so of course the pastor's going to ask her what the problem is and Heather was vague, vague, vague.  Why should Derek be held responsible, he's not the one complaining, he's not the one who shut down?  Heather didn't even give a reason why she shut down.  When Derek said "just leave" I applauded, because that's what I was thinking.

Maybe the reason I feel like I'm taking crazy pills is because the session with Pastor Calvin was edited; maybe Heather isn't allowed to mention that Derek was smoking pot, I don't know.  If that's true then I really do feel sorry for Heather, because she can't even explain, in detail what the issue with Derek is.

Quote

I want a stupid-ass but fun reality show where people get married and I stand back and eat pop chips and drink vodka lemonade and enjoy the game -- but they keep casting people with too many soft, broken places and that makes me feel like I should be out there doing social work and attending lectures on misogyny and white male privilege and building affordable housing for dudebros stuck in a bus. Way to fuck up my end-of-summer fun, assholes.

LOL, I don't get this at all.  I don't understand what everybody is seeing when they look at the men, I don't get this, "he's a serial killer" or "he's gay" or "he hates women, he's an abuser."  I don't get it, nope, sorry.

Edited August 31, 2016 by Neurochick

[moonxyz]

Tom is the psycho that tells you he's in love with you everyday and then one days disappears into thin air. He doesn't read as sincere to me. 

Nick isn't attracted to Sonia. This is reminding me of Tres and Vanessa all over agian except Nick seems to have enough decency to no want to sleep with her. As for the dog thing, total BS from production to create drama.

Derek and Heather: broken beyond repair, nothing to see here. 

[cinsays]

I don't think any of these couples will make it.

The starry eyed attraction Lily has for Tom will fade, I think.  They are both nice people but I just don't see it.

Heather and Derrick just don't match at all.  He needs to lose that stupid backward cap thing and cover those crappy tattoos or go find himself a younger chick with some piercings who is also into drugs.

I was hopeful for Nick and Sonia but that hope is dying fast. The dogs are too much the center of attention in Nick's life and, though she may try to get along with them, I think she would always be a bit uneasy around them.  And the face licking is something that is fine if you are a dog lover, but kind of a turnoff to those of us who are not as into them.  I really like her and hope somebody watching this train wreck who is nice and loving and pleased with her choice of career gets in touch with her.

[BunnySlippers]

7 hours ago, Lola16 said:

The other 2 couples got to return from their honeymoons without emergency meetings and return to their own homes separately and sleep in their own beds for 1 night before meeting up the next day to look at each other's current homes.

Did Heather and Derek not get that option?  That would be crappy.

That's how it seemed to me. I think they basically had to go talk to Pastor Calvin before they could go home after their plane ride. Which was one reason why I didn't like that PC kept pushing Heather to choose immediately what she wanted to do, even after she'd told him repeatedly that she was tired and needed some time.

7 hours ago, Lola16 said:

Adding... It's clear that the scene with Pastor Calvin was highly edited. PC is gesturing to someone off camera more than once.  As for Heather not mentioning smoking, maybe she did. Or maybe, unlike Derek, she feels that she already brought that up and doesn't need to mention it ad nauseam. 

I stole your idea of calling him PC. ;)

What I meant about them skirting around the issue was that I wish they could have talked about Derek smoking weed, because if that was what he was doing (which I think it was), then I think that's what's at the core of Heather's disappointment. They probably did talk about it off camera, but we don't get to see that, so it looks like Heather's the unreasonable one and she's the one who needs to be yelled at.

6 hours ago, jenrising said:

Also, I'm sure nick and his dogs will be very happy together. And I thought Sonia did a good job of trying to deal with the dogs, even though she was clearly terrified of them. Again, A+ matchmaking, "experts."

I agree. I thought Sonia was trying her best to deal with the dogs, which couldn't have been easy since Nick didn't seem to control them very well. One thing she's afraid of is them jumping on her and getting in her face, and that was exactly what the dogs did.

 

33 minutes ago, kat12379 said:

I also dont get why in the previews she said she wanted kids and he said he didnt.... why would the matchmakers pair up people with completely opposite family goals ?? Really ? That is the biggest issue !! I mean, Lily does want to wait 5 years which is forever, but still. 

I am not sure what Jack Sampson is referring to when he says that Tom has lost interest in Lily for a particular reason, but I'll take a guess... is it the fact that they had sex so soon ? Otherwise I'm stumped on that one. 

What was weird was that in this episode Tom said that he thought he wanted kids sooner than Lilly, but in the preview, it's the opposite.

I think Tom losing interest in Lilly might be that they had sex so soon or that, like someone else mentioned and I noticed it, too, she seems like someone who will gain weight in the future. Not that that should be a reason for leaving someone.

 

19 minutes ago, kat12379 said:

About the washing feet before bed honestly I haven't heard of people doing it except those who live in Saudi Arabia for religious reasons or because it s so dusty over there. I was raised that wearing shoes in the house is disrespectful and it feels very uncomfortable for me. My in laws all wear flip flops in the house and consider me a cavewoman for going shoeless. However sometimes I wear socks. I am not surprised that Lily is OCD about clean, since she does seem to think very highly of herself and that often comes with the territory. BTW, what was with Tom's capri leggings (?)

We wear slippers in the house. That's how I grew up and that's what my husband does now, too. That way, you don't track dirt in from the outside and you're still comfortable. Tom's feet were dirty. He even said something about how much mud he was washing off.  I wouldn't want that in my bed either.

[cinsays]

And bringing your dog with you when you are looking at houses is totally wrong, and a realtor should know that.

I don't want some adorable little mutt peeing and pooing on my carpet if I am trying to sell my  house.

[Marsupial]

Quote

LOL, I don't get this at all.  I don't understand what everybody is seeing when they look at the men, I don't get this, "he's a serial killer" or "he's gay" or "he hates women, he's an abuser."  I don't get it, nope, sorry.

It mystifies me too. I don't get that from any of the men on this show. They seem totally normal, with normal flaws.

All of the dogs on this show, from Zeus to Nick's two beauties, are adorable.

[humbleopinion]

Very glad Lily complained that his filthy tootsies grossed her out.

Oh, oh Tom...Lily is no longer hypnotized by your dick...the beginning of the end.

Makes me question when was the last time he washed those sheets on the bus bed....ewww

[Pepper Mostly]

5 hours ago, film noire said:

He's got such a weird affect, this "I don't DO facial expressions!!" thing combined with a backbeat of serial killer ("I like the pacing. This is day 5. It is not day 30. Or day 46. Or day 62, when I lock you in the bunker with my other wives.") And that kinda works (in all the wrong ways) with Sonia, who has a pearl necklace of weird qualities -- one after another, strung on silk -- the biggest being something that reminds me of the just-below-the-surface panic of a cult survivor. (A Jonestown member who escaped the koolaid, all nervous giggles and childhood memories of throwing away the cup -- "This is no no bad juicey! Wake up, Momma!!" -- and she runs into the jungle and survives and turns up decades later, needing a man to be A MAN because if he isn't JIM JONES WILL FIND HER. PLUS DOGGIES.) I mean, jesus, I'm not looking for a Skinner experiment here -- I want a stupid-ass but fun reality show where people get married and I stand back and eat pop chips and drink vodka lemonade and enjoy the game -- but they keep casting people with too many soft, broken places and that makes me feel like I should be out there doing social work and attending lectures on misogyny and white male privilege and building affordable housing for dudebros stuck in a bus. Way to fuck up my end-of-summer fun, assholes.

@film noire--bowing down right now. You have won Previously for today. Perfection. I always felt that Sonia was what they used to call "high strung". Not demanding, not high maintenance; more like she so often seems like she's an inch away from crying, or should have her smelling salts handy. She seems so anxious and there's a tremulousness about her that makes me want to hand her a cup of tea and a box of tissues. She needs a man who responds to that by being warm and protective. Sonia's guy should be warm and expressive and kind. Nick is so wrong in every way. He's particular, metro, cool and analytical. And agreed on the dogs. Her smile faltered a little at the wedding when his dogs were mentioned (but good brave girl that she is, she soldiered on and pasted that smile right back on!) She confessed to being "a little afraid" of dogs on the wedding day, but clearly she was more than a little afraid. Matching her with a dog guy was so wrong. I like Sonia a lot and props to her, she is really trying.

43 minutes ago, kat12379 said:

I also cant help but notice the outfits they wear... I loved Heather's chambray dress ! 

I loved that dress too and I loved that she was wearing sneakers with it. I can never pull that off, I hate having sneakers on my feet. But it looks so cute.

[jenrising]

Oh I had almost forgotten about the dirty feet. I almost never wear shoes in my house, and sometimes I'll go barefoot out on my balcony, but I would never get in a bed with dirty feet*. Not alone, and 100% not with someone else. The fact that Tom presented this as Lily being silly is just... no. They're done as soon as the sex haze wears off. 

 

* Also wondering where he was walking that his feet got that filthy. Someone needs to sweep those floors. 

[humbleopinion]

Names of Nick's dogs?

I bestow them the names Puppy and Doggie.

Puppy and Doggie, the best cockblockers of all time!

 

Did you catch that lingering shot on the bag of Beneful brand dog food?

Puppy and Doggie are spokespups and have their branding in place.

They need to get their show cousin, Zeus a sweet deal too.

Edited August 31, 2016 by humbleopinion
more nonsense

[Lily247]

Also I definitely think that SOnia should have been paired with an outgoing, gregarious Latino man, whoever mentioned that previously I totally agree. Someone who could balance out her intitial shyness or whatever it is shes got going on, because she'll roll with it, guaranteed. I don't think she should have to try so hard with a guy. But perhaps the show didnt want to be cliche or anything and match up Latin-Latin, idk.  I also think that Heather and Derek just do not physically look right together.... I think he is too skinny and pale for her. I get the feeling that she is into guys who have a more exotic/ethnic look, and the experts had thought of matching her with a guy from a different race. 

[Neurochick]

7 minutes ago, Marsupial said:

It mystifies me too. I don't get that from any of the men on this show. They seem totally normal, with normal flaws.

All of the dogs on this show, from Zeus to Nick's two beauties, are adorable.

Yes, I agree.

Here's my question, does anybody think that cultural differences could be an issue?  Two of the women are Latina, while their husbands are white, North American men; could those differences become an issue?

Some people think Nick isn't into Sonia, I don't think she's chubby, she has a normal body to me, but then again, I have to wonder about men who like women who have the bodies of 12 year olds (yuk!).  Maybe Nick realized that Sonia is one who'd get attached to him REAL quick, after sex and that could be an issue, especially if they divorce.  Who wants to have a crazy ex-wife hanging around?

I don't believe that if a guy doesn't jump you in the first fifteen minutes, it means he's not into you.   I think waiting and making sure the person you're attracted to is sane is important, for that reason I don't think Tom and Lily will make it.  Sometimes when someone jumps at you right away, that means they can jump at somebody else just as easily. 

[operalover]

36 minutes ago, Vinyasa said:

This article from last season says the participants are not paid and as cheap as this show is (hotel rooms, wedding dresses etc) it seems true.

I think the only "money" is future money from interviews and if you can spin your own jewelry line and write a book ( ie Jamie!)

http://www.movienewsguide.com/married-first-sight-couples-unpaid-episodes-nominal-sum-paid-cover-divorce-costs/155358

So I don't think Heather is hanging around for a cash payout from the show! That being said, she still could be looking for her 15 minutes.

This interview was made before Season 3- I don't believe most of what the producer is saying. They can't do gay couples because they have to separate the groups by male/female and they might see each other? It all sounds like a bunch of bull shit. They are not letting us know what really goes into the contract and behind the scenes. I believe that you get a bonus for making it 6 weeks and all these people seem like they can use the money.  I'm not buying that they get paid "next to nothing" for filming and staying married for 6 weeks. Yes they also get the exposure on TV for their own famewhoreness, but Ashley really needed the money and she was done on Day 1. Of course I can't prove it but this article is not proof that they don't get paid either. 

[Vinyasa]

Quote

Nick isn't attracted to Sonia. This is reminding me of Tres and Vanessa all over agian except Nick seems to have enough decency to no want to sleep with her. As for the dog thing, total BS from production to create drama.

Nick and Sonia don't remind me of Tres and Vanessa because Tres and Vanessa looked really good together and didn't struggle to have a conversation. They seemed like they had fun together.

It all seems like a struggle between Nick and Sonia. Behind the scene, I don't see them staying together in that house every night. They will be showing up for filming.

I'm starting not to understand a word she says. I still think there is something "spacey" about her.

[Neurochick]

2 minutes ago, Vinyasa said:

I'm starting not to understand a word she says. I still think there is something "spacey" about her.

She speaks fine to me. 

I don't see anything "spacey" about her, but for some reason I do sense that she could get clingy if she really likes a man, or if she has sex with him; something about her screams "needy" to me.  I'm looking at Sonia and thinking, "yes, you're married but you just met this guy, don't rush into sex so quickly."

[okerry]

OK, without reading the other posts yet: When it comes to Derek and Heather, there's more amiss than just smoking (no matter what he's smoking.)

My theory: Alcohol was probably a factor, but I think these two made some attempt at "consummating their marriage" either on the wedding night or on the next one. Somehow it didn't go well - he did and/or said something that really, really turned her off - and that was the end of that.

This kind of real hate doesn't come from just being bugged by somebody's smoking. That's just a smoke screen (ha) for the real problem, which is almost certainly sexual.

Yes, I know Ashley hated David, too, and Heather wasn't exactly drawn to Derek when she first saw him - but D&H weren't that bad right at first. Something Happened while they were in bed and it was bad enough so that she's not even willing to pretend any longer. Even Ashley made an attempt at staying on the show, as poor as that attempt was. This seems very different.

If this is just a fake setup for D&H to do some kind of turnaround and live happily ever after, then more power to ya, Show; but I'm betting that something went wrong in bed here and we're just not hearing about it.

That would explain why we're arguing about it endlessly here, because nothing about this makes sense. It's not smoking. It's something way more than that.

[Evil Queen]

45 minutes ago, kat12379 said:

I think it must be a contract or something. 

Oooooooh yea those were dirty feet. 

13 minutes ago, operalover said:

This interview was made before Season 3- I don't believe most of what the producer is saying. They can't do gay couples because they have to separate the groups by male/female and they might see each other? It all sounds like a bunch of bull shit. They are not letting us know what really goes into the contract and behind the scenes. I believe that you get a bonus for making it 6 weeks and all these people seem like they can use the money.  I'm not buying that they get paid "next to nothing" for filming and staying married for 6 weeks. Yes they also get the exposure on TV for their own famewhoreness, but Ashley really needed the money and she was done on Day 1. Of course I can't prove it but this article is not proof that they don't get paid either. 

I can imagine their contracts probably have something in it about having to stick around the 6 weeks or you are breaking it. I wouldn't be surprised. Otherwise we would have seen some walk I am sure and at least 2-3 with REALLY good reasons. Now I don't doubt they get paid something but I doubt its a "big payday" for any of them. I know some in the past have claimed they would get $10k but I wouldn't be surprised if it was less or if it was 10k that it was the total for the 6 weeks. Now I also wouldn't be surprised if they didn't get paid a thing past what was for a shared rental, wedding, honeymoon and whatever extras went on during the show. Either way for how it is done, I just don't think its so much money that its worth sticking it out. If contracts aren't what is keeping one stuck, then its how they will come off for walking away. Even if they have a good enough reason too because in the end you really have no clue how they will edit you in that kind of a situation. 

42 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

LOL, I don't get this at all.  I don't understand what everybody is seeing when they look at the men, I don't get this, "he's a serial killer" or "he's gay" or "he hates women, he's an abuser."  I don't get it, nope, sorry.

 

Out of those 3 things... I still think Nick is gay. Don't see serial killer or abuser though in the other ones. I do think Tom is a hypocrite on some things and an ass that looks to old from all the sun damage being done to his skin. I would bet his feet were so dirty because he doesn't run around in shoes most the time..even outside. I saw this as someone that lives on the other coast where its common for that or sandals to be worn most the year. My husband will go run to the grocery store with bare feet when its a quick trip.  I hate having to wear shoes most the time myself but live mostly in my flip flops when I need them. In the house no shoes. They come off at the door for everyone. LOL As for Derek, he just comes off as an immature 35 yr old man that wishes he was still 18 living his dream of being a rap star like Snoop Dog and getting high all the time. =P

[henrysmom]

Quote

I thought Sonia was trying her best to deal with the dogs, which couldn't have been easy since Nick didn't seem to control them very well. One thing she's afraid of is them jumping on her and getting in her face, and that was exactly what the dogs did.

As somebody who is afraid of dogs, I have to say I was really disappointed with Nick.  People who know me understand that I am <not> going to like having their dogs around.  They'll either put the dogs in another room, or they've trained the dog to sit or lie down on command.  They sure as heck don't stand by watching as their dogs jump on me, and I jump away from the dogs.  At least, they never do it twice because I'd be gone after that.  Nick didn't seem to care if Sonia was bothered by the dog, which makes me edge towards thinking this marriage is as doomed as Heather and Derek's.

Quote

I know some in the past have claimed they would get $10k but I wouldn't be surprised if it was less or if it was 10k that it was the total for the 6 weeks

Kind of speculation but the number I heard was they get $3000 an episode.  Which does sound like the "nominal" amount the producers talk about in the articles I've read because it doesn't sound like much until you do the math and realize that they do 15 episodes, plus the matchmaking special.  So even if they don't get paid or get paid less for the matchmaking special, that is still $45,000.   Sonia could wipe away all her debt with that, and get a trip to the Caribbean (?--can't remember exactly where they went) as a bonus.  And they seem to be working around the couples' work schedules so they probably don't even have to use up a lot of vacation time.

[Neurochick]

3 minutes ago, okerry said:

OK, without reading the other posts yet: When it comes to Derek and Heather, there's more amiss than just smoking (no matter what he's smoking.)

My theory: Alcohol was probably a factor, but I think these two made some attempt at "consummating their marriage" either on the wedding night or on the next one. Somehow it didn't go well - he did and/or said something that really, really turned her off - and that was the end of that.

This kind of real hate doesn't come from just being bugged by somebody's smoking. That's just a smoke screen (ha) for the real problem, which is almost certainly sexual.

Yes, I know Ashley hated David, too, and Heather wasn't exactly drawn to Derek when she first saw him - but D&H weren't that bad right at first. Something Happened while they were in bed and it was bad enough so that she's not even willing to pretend any longer. Even Ashley made an attempt at staying on the show, as poor as that attempt was. This seems very different.

If this is just a fake setup for D&H to do some kind of turnaround and live happily ever after, then more power to ya, Show; but I'm betting that something went wrong in bed here and we're just not hearing about it.

That would explain why we're arguing about it endlessly here, because nothing about this makes sense. It's not smoking. It's something way more than that.

That's a good point; Heather seemed too upset if it were smoking.  But that's why this show is a mess, if something very serious and/or dark happened, like Derek tried to have sex with Heather, she said no and he got pissed, would Heather be allowed to talk about it on camera I wonder.

[LennieBriscoe]

All it takes is one step on a rusty nail......

Anyway, Tom and Lily/Lilly: No man who respects and wants to please his partner would even DREAM of getting into their bed with dirty, even muddy, feet! Tom was so quick to remove Lily's tiny dog from his crummy bus-bed, makes one wonder about his level of affection for his wife now. And Lily got all crude and explicit to let him know the deal about bedtime cleanliness. I don't think she's a "clean freak"; I think she's picked up on the above and is going to get it while she can, on Tom's level if need be.

Those doggy kisses all over Nick's face are very clever of Nick, are they not? Sonia will surely not want to kiss a canine-saliva'ed cheek!

Weed breath, filthy feet, and dog slobber:  These are men who are "sincere"? (I had "trying," but in another sense they are VERY "trying"!)

Edited August 31, 2016 by LennieBriscoe

[Jellybeans]

Ha... I wondered if Heather and Derick tried to have sex and Derick umm, could not get it going, heh...that's my take. I really do not think HE is attracted to HER and it is bothering her big time.  It took me awhile to figure this theory out.

I do think Nick is attracted to Sonia but he moves very slow.  I am the same way.  I move slow...and that was a deal breaker for many in the past. It works for me and probably does for Nick. I like Sonia a lot, she is different from your run of the mill female.  

I like Lilly.  Not sure about Tom.  But then again, he is not really acting much different than she is so...and yeah, dirty feet?  As long as her dog pees and poops outside we are good to go.

[Vinyasa]

Quote

Those doggy kisses all over Nick's face are very clever of Nick, are they not? Sonia will surely not want to kiss a canine-saliva'ed cheek!

I'll bet money the producers are behind all of that! 

It was probably filmed after the dogs hadn't seen Nick in a while.

[BeatrixK]

2 hours ago, Magoo said:

There was a LOT of dirt coming off Tom's feet when he was rinsing them off before bed. It was swirling around in the tub.  I'm not a clean freak, but that was gross and I don't blame Lilly at all for insisting he wash that crap off before climbing into clean sheets and rubbing that nastiness on her. 

As one who lives in South Florida -- this is actually a fairly normal request -- particularly in Spring and Summer...when all you wear are flip flops or sandals -- it rains EVERY day -- so you likely get wet feet...regardless of whether you try to avoid the rain or not...sand, even when you aren't on the beach, is everywhere.... your feet are wet, you have sandals on...dirt is gonna happily stick to your feet.  You learn that, unless you want dirt on your sheets, a quick wash is normal, depending on what you've been doing that day.  That's also why there is so much damned tile flooring everywhere -- rugs become the enemy because they collect all that dirt and sand.

Oh, Heather....poor dear Heather.  You are checked out.  Give it up girl, cause it's gone!

[Evil Queen]

jenrising, LOL I'm going with the Pastor Shouty. I am getting the feeling someone wants his own reality show....or other reality show gigs since this is at least his 2nd one. SMH 

Watched it all now....the Confessions...Derek, sorry dude but get over yourself and grow the hell up. All I heard was whining from him. Dude was looking a little high in some of those scenes too. I agree that with whoever said that Derek saying his past relationships breaking up due to her not wanting to compromise is a telling sign there with him. Its his way or the highway and that you are the one not willing to give or bend. Yet he will spin it and talk up a good game to make it like he is. Which he did in that clip too. With saying he was willing to try but then in the same time saying SHE has to be willing to do this or that. I'm still wondering WTF went down with these 2 though that we are not hearing. This goes beyond the pot smoking for sure. If they are dragging this out for some lame reason on filling us in its dumb. Her TH before leaving the honeymoon was saying lots of arguments and stuff she wasn't prepared to deal with. Yet nothing on what those things were that she wasn't prepared to deal with. When talking to the Pastor why was Derek sitting there with his backwards cap on? OMG it drives me nuts he wears it indoors. Its just rude. I wouldn't even care if he wore it backwards when he was outside all the time but indoors that damn hat should be off his head. Its just good manners. Pastor Shouty, with his putting it all on her but yet why not tell him to chill on his childish shit. Yes there are difficulties but really come off it Pastor Shouty, you helped pick a made match and can't suck it up and admit this. This isn't some 15 yr marriage either he is talking about. UGH his wanting to work on things with himself...well should have done that before EVER getting married!! I love how its not fair to Derek with her needing to decide on things. Yet was many of things with Derek fair to her? I think it goes both ways. The breather is probably something needed at this point after the train wreck honeymoon. LOL 

 

Sorry but something that bugs the crap out of me is dog owners (looking at Lily) that don't use leashes when they are not in their place. I don't care what size the dog is. It drives me nuts. I am not sure if there is a leash law there but where I am there is which is a big reason why it drives me insane. UGH OMG Tom and his damn materialistic shit. So she isn't coming off to him as very materialistic because of her closet? LOL Wow editors for this show need to really see what they are putting together better. The first few scenes of them going to the bus. First his "patio" Tiki bar set up was one way and had more to it and the next scene it was set up different with a big part of it missing. LOL UGH sorry but the bus is eewww. For someone that does yacht interiors...um dude things were looking cheaply done and not straight. Yes it would bug the crap out of me if something wasn't done right and I had to see it crooked all the time. LOL Plus I know this is weird but even being 5'1, if I feel like the ceiling is to low I would feel like walls are closing in on me. LOL As I have said obviously his way of living is not for all of us and for many others its cool. Yet I have seen some pretty great looking RVs/Buses out there turned homes on some of those HGTV type shows. While Lily is not into it...good for her for being able to try to be open minded on things and not more freaked out. LOL What was up with the moving the dog off his bed but he will go to bed with muddy feet? Dog was probably cleaner than Tom's feet. LOL Then sitting on the tiny "kitchen" counters...EEEWWW I know if I see mine dirty I will wash them off before bed. We all walk around barefoot here. Being in Cali near the coast its similar in how things are so I get her telling him to wash those feet off. It was nasty. Not like a little dirt but really dirty when he was doing so. LOL  As I said that whole post nup is just for show drama since they do a prenup that covers exactly what he was saying about his and her money. Her face though said she wasn't to happy with that conversation though. While nothing against Lily but omg could she quite putting her face so close to the camera in her THs and moving her head around all odd like at times. Another thing with Lily, dragging the dog everywhere. I have issues with that just from people here that have to take them in the stores where they do NOT belong and taking them to look at a place. UGH The kid thing. At least they do both want kids but timelines are different. I can see why though. He is older than her by a few years and on her side I can see she may want to establish herself more in her career before having any. 

 

Poor Sonia. UGH that is so gross the Nick/dog love fest. Sorry but didn't need to see that. He should be more respectful of her fear of dogs. I think because of what she explained happened to give her this fear that if it was taken slow for her and the dogs were not all up in her face jumping around, that she could overcome her fear. I think for her though its just one of those things that could take a little time. Yet no matter what the fact that she is scared of dogs and Nick had them was a reason alone they shouldn't have matched them. It was stupid of the show. Nick was kind of smug looking on the income thing when she said what she made. I feel bad for Sonia because he is WAY more into the dogs than he ever will be into her. LOL 

 

1 minute ago, henrysmom said:

As somebody who is afraid of dogs, I have to say I was really disappointed with Nick.  People who know me understand that I am <not> going to like having their dogs around.  They'll either put the dogs in another room, or they've trained the dog to sit or lie down on command.  They sure as heck don't stand by watching as their dogs jump on me, and I jump away from the dogs.  At least, they never do it twice because I'd be gone after that.  Nick didn't seem to care if Sonia was bothered by the dog, which makes me edge towards thinking this marriage is as doomed as Heather and Derek's.

Kind of speculation but the number I heard was they get $3000 an episode.  Which does sound like the "nominal" amount the producers talk about in the articles I've read because it doesn't sound like much until you do the math and realize that they do 15 episodes, plus the matchmaking special.  So even if they don't get paid or get paid less for the matchmaking special, that is still $45,000.   Sonia could wipe away all her debt with that, and get a trip to the Caribbean (?--can't remember exactly where they went) as a bonus.  And they seem to be working around the couples' work schedules so they probably don't even have to use up a lot of vacation time.

Nick is for sure pretty jerkish about the whole dog issue. He should be settling them down so she is ale to become more comfortable with them. It would help. 

Ok if it is 3k you still have to consider of course taxes they have to pay on it as well and is that per couple or each person? We have no clue if any of them work their regular jobs when doing this show or "pretend" to have gone off to work or whatever but for the most part we never see them do so would assume they do work around that schedule but with Heather being a flight attendant that is a bit different. Yet if they took the time off for this show, I can see where getting paid for it would help make up for not working. 

[Neurochick]

42 minutes ago, henrysmom said:

As somebody who is afraid of dogs, I have to say I was really disappointed with Nick.  People who know me understand that I am <not> going to like having their dogs around.  They'll either put the dogs in another room, or they've trained the dog to sit or lie down on command.  They sure as heck don't stand by watching as their dogs jump on me, and I jump away from the dogs.  At least, they never do it twice because I'd be gone after that.  Nick didn't seem to care if Sonia was bothered by the dog, which makes me edge towards thinking this marriage is as doomed as Heather and Derek's.

I get this, but those people KNOW you well.  They know that you're afraid of dogs.  Nick's dogs are the way they are because he's probably never had someone live with him whose afraid of dogs.

And THAT is an issue with this show.  I think this show is using marriage as therapy.  Now, I do believe that people come into our lives to help us work through our stuff, but that usually happens organically, not on a TV show. 

I still wonder if cultural differences will come into play with some of these couples. 

[Empress1]

3 minutes ago, Jellybeans said:

I do think Nick is attracted to Sonia but he moves very slow.  I am the same way.  I move slow...and that was a deal breaker for many in the past. It works for me and probably does for Nick. I like Sonia a lot, she is different from your run of the mill female.  

I would be fine with taking things slow if the guy made it clear that he was attracted to me. There are lots of ways to express attraction without sexual activity. Given that Sonia has expressed many times that she doesn't know if Nick is attracted to her, Nick hasn't made that clear. I would come right out and ask, which would either lead to a "Yes but I want to take things slow because [reasons]" conversation, or "No." If I got a no, I'd leave, because who wants to be in a romantic relationship with someone who isn't attracted to them? What's the point? That's a friendship. In Sonia's situation, I'd probably ask the question again at the end of the six weeks if Nick said no the first time I asked, and would use the answer to inform my decision about staying married or not.

Sonia isn't going to ask, I don't think; that doesn't seem like her MO. But I think she should.

I haven't said much about Heather and Derek. While I like Pastor Calvin, Heather wasn't going to come off well during that meeting. I would not have been cool at ALL with having that meeting right after I got off the plane. Traveling takes a lot out of you, she was already stressed ... let them regroup and talk in the morning. I get cranky when I'm tired (which can be an issue, as I have trouble sleeping) and more than anything, I think Heather just really wanted to go home, wash the travel stink off her, and go to sleep. Jumping RIGHT into a heavy conversation was not wise. She looked pissed the entire scene and I bet I'd look the same way in that situation.

Also, Derek said something about wanting his wife to help him change. Dude, do that work yourself. That's not your wife's job. If you know you need work, do it - either on your own or with a therapist.

That said, Derek (who does look stupid and juvenile with that backwards hat on, and I feel like dudes should take hats off indoors - that was a rule with my parents growing up. My brother wore baseball caps and as soon as he stepped inside he had to remove it) is right that Heather checked out on day 2 and they should just call it. There's nothing to fight for. There are no shared memories (sometimes struggling couples are asked to remember why they fell in love in the first place), no shared dependents, no shared property, no solid foundation ... get the divorce, chalk it up to experience, and move on.

[Lily247]

It makes perfect sense that a lot of them may have high debt and the show happens to pay in the thousands I think. Nick is either very inconsiderate or very very passive, if he didnt keep his dogs away from Sonia while she is getting used to them. I hate passivity in men, honestly I have never dated a passive man for long and my husband is an assertive person which is perfect for me. Something rubbed me the wrong way regarding Lily since the first episode, I think it is how complementary she is towards herself, like when she says "I've workd hard for everything I HAVE"....... uhhhh....do you want a medal for having a job? lol

[Gem 10]

Bet Nick kissed them dogs up five minutes after he got them .. All over their lips!  But, he won't with Sonia.  What's with him?  He seems nice one minute, but the next, he's snarky with her.  Nice rack he made about not loving her at he end of the episode.  I would really be pissed if I were her and call him out on that.  He's weird .. And mean !!!!!   Heather is repulsed.  I too am wondering how much money they get to stay on.  How could she possibly live with him?  She'd be throwing up every minute.   The bus, what a joke.  Cold water, no closets, lousy bed.  And, the dirty feet .. GROSS.  But, the girl is trying.  I'm not a fan of Heathers, but I didn't like the Pastor yelling at her like that.  All in all, I was disappointed with the whole episode, but reading all the comments as I just LOVE this blog.

[JAndy]

10 hours ago, Jason said:

The only mistake Heather made was checking the ok with occasional smoking box.    Derrick is immature, looks and acts like an idiot.  He would have worn anyone out.  Heather is actually rather wonderful.  The Pastor that interviewed them is a blind idiot.

I wouldn't say that Heather is wonderful. She gave up right away and hasn't been trying. Which some people are like that, but don't go on a show where you are married at first sight. She comes off as an ice queen