Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[lascuba]

13 minutes ago, Marigold said:

That post op selfie was so shocking to anyone with common sense and compassion. 

Jill is very much her father's daughter, with his exact sense of humor. She thinks ICU selfies with her unconscious husband and pictures of her swaddled 7 month old son screaming are hilarious.

[Marigold]

1 minute ago, lascuba said:

Jill is very much her father's daughter, with his exact sense of humor. She thinks ICU selfies with her unconscious husband and pictures of her swaddled 7 month old son screaming are hilarious.

Good observation.

Yes.  She is both Jim Bob 2.0  AND  Michelle 2.0.     (runs screaming from the Duggar monster)

[Christina87]

1 hour ago, Summer said:

Exactly!  I, too, have posted about how these kids, and, really, that's what they are, kids, marry essentially a complete stranger.  The Duggar "courtship" pisses me off to no end, with those stupid side hugs, chaperones, etc. they are forced to get to know each other AFTER they're married, it's just awful!  If they took the time to date like normal young people, I highly doubt anything of them would be married now.  

It really is like a social experiment, beyond anything researchers could ever do at a university!!!! Never let kids interact with members of the opposite gender, or even think impure thoughts, and then have them quickly marry the first person they are infatuated with. Then see what happens the next few years. Jill and Derick seem to have huge problems, and jessa and Bin did for a while, though I think they are happier now. The others have been married too recently. 

I bet if they had been allowed to date, Jill and Derick would have maybe dated for a year and broken up. Jessa and Bin would have been a quick fling, and then she would have gone for a more powerful guy. Jeremy and jinger easily could have been a fling too...would be interesting to see what would have happened after they'd hooked up for three months. Would Jeremy have left? Joy and Austin just never would have happened, period, and josh and Anna likely wouldn't either. 

[lookeyloo]

Other cultures have arranged marriages.  some of course are disasters, but there are those that work.  What's up with that.

[Scarlett45]

2 hours ago, Summer said:

Exactly!  I, too, have posted about how these kids, and, really, that's what they are, kids, marry essentially a complete stranger.  The Duggar "courtship" pisses me off to no end, with those stupid side hugs, chaperones, etc. they are forced to get to know each other AFTER they're married, it's just awful!  If they took the time to date like normal young people, I highly doubt anything of them would be married now.  

Many cultures participate in arranged marriages and courtship with much success but NOT the way the Duggars do it.

Couples (potential couples)do have time to talk and spend time together without parents breathing down their neck to get a sense of each other's basic personality. Jinger and Jeremy had a chance to talk privately during courtship as did Jessa and Ben, maybe because Jill was his FAVORITE daughter JB kept a tight rein on things. 

12 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Other cultures have arranged marriages.  some of course are disasters, but there are those that work.  What's up with that.

In instances where there isn't sexual slavery/child brides etc (of course I'm not talking about that but many ignorant people associate that with arranged marriages- not saying you do), two adult people with similar goals and values meet and converse to see if they may be compatible for marriage, they actually have conversations about PRACTICAL THINGS and if someone isn't receptive then okay, they aren't pushed to marry that particular person. 

The Duggars have only had one courtship fail (that's Josiah, because Marj backed out), I think the kids may feel if they don't say yes to a courtship they will be alone forever. While different people have different needs for socialization, touch and sex, these are human needs. I'm sure many of the kids were starved for some type of emotional intimacy, companionship - not to mention their sexual needs at all. 

[Marigold]

I think if Jill and Derick dated  they would've married eventually.  They actually seemed compatible and happy while courting so I imagine dating would've gone the same way.   My opinion is that those two both have mental health issues and would still be unhappy whether they courted, dating, or anything in between.  Derick and Jill would've had trouble with any person they married because they are troubled within themselves.  

Alone, with no stress, no marriage, no mission, no children, no money issues, no adult lives etc., they were able to keep their mental health issues calm.  Once stress and conflict was added to their lives, the mental health issues flared up.  

Neither one has any self awareness that anything is wrong so they will continue down this path, adding more children to an already stressed relationship. 

[lascuba]

38 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Many cultures participate in arranged marriages and courtship with much success but NOT the way the Duggars do it.

Couples (potential couples)do have time to talk and spend time together without parents breathing down their neck to get a sense of each other's basic personality. Jinger and Jeremy had a chance to talk privately during courtship as did Jessa and Ben, maybe because Jill was his FAVORITE daughter JB kept a tight rein on things. 

In instances where there isn't sexual slavery/child brides etc (of course I'm not talking about that but many ignorant people associate that with arranged marriages- not saying you do), two adult people with similar goals and values meet and converse to see if they may be compatible for marriage, they actually have conversations about PRACTICAL THINGS and if someone isn't receptive then okay, they aren't pushed to marry that particular person. 

 

Also, a lot of cultures that practice modern arranged marriages don't make it a point to keep their children completely sheltered and ignorant of the world around them before marriage, so it's just a different dynamic all together. There's no starry eyed wait for prince charming and then getting married while deep in the infatuation stage.

[WhineandCheez]

Quote

Something about the smile and the tilt of the head strike me is Teshish as well. 

I smoked Teshish in college....

[Arwen Evenstar]

40 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

The Duggars have only had one courtship fail (that's Josiah, because Marj backed out), I think the kids may feel if they don't say yes to a courtship they will be alone forever. While different people have different needs for socialization, touch and sex, these are human needs. I'm sure many of the kids were starved for some type of emotional intimacy, companionship - not to mention their sexual needs at all. 

The fact that Jill was Daddy's favorite and still a black hole of neediness with an attention void not even the love of Christ can fill speaks volumes as to how emotionally neglected and stunted these kids are.  Children who really feel they are loved do not typically behave like Stage 5 clingers and form healthy attachments to others. If this was the favorite, Heaven help the rest of them. 

[sometimesy]

Dillards had the parents watching them skype, and possibly even reading text messages (not sure one that one). The other kids seemed to have phone calls and texting privacy. 

The problem for me is the courtship. The pressure put on the kids to immediately have the intention to marry instead of naturally discovering their compatibility. The intrusive chaperones ick. For the Duggs the pressure is magnified because they would have to end the courtship publically. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 minute ago, sometimesy said:

Dillards had the parents watching them skype, and possibly even reading text messages (not sure one that one). The other kids seemed to have phone calls and texting privacy. 

The problem for me is the courtship. The pressure put on the kids to immediately have the intention to marry instead of naturally discovering their compatibility. The intrusive chaperones ick. For the Duggs the pressure is magnified because they would have to end the courtship publically. 

And the pressure is also magnified because it's a high stakes game from the word go.  After all, the first one that shows an interest in you is "the one God has in mind for you".

[lascuba]

23 minutes ago, sometimesy said:

Dillards had the parents watching them skype, and possibly even reading text messages (not sure one that one). The other kids seemed to have phone calls and texting privacy. 

The problem for me is the courtship. The pressure put on the kids to immediately have the intention to marry instead of naturally discovering their compatibility. The intrusive chaperones ick. For the Duggs the pressure is magnified because they would have to end the courtship publically. 

I wonder if that was because Jill is such an obnoxious suck up that she wanted it that way...wanted to follow her parents' rules perfectly. Because Jessa and Jinger (don't know about Joy) did get a bit of privacy, so there's no reason Jill couldn't have had it either if she had wanted it.

Edited June 19, 2017 by lascuba

[Churchhoney]

49 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I wonder if that was because Jill is such an obnoxious suck up that she wanted it that way...wanted to follow her parents' rules perfectly. Because Jessa and Jinger (don't know about Joy) did get a bit of privacy, so there's no reason Jill couldn't have had it either if she had wanted it.

Could be. On the other hand, she was also basically the first -- Joshie's was different -- and JB and M may just have gotten tired of it, looked at all those courtships coming down the road and started to slack off a bit after the first time. .... That would be in line with the way human behavior mostly operates, too, I think. 

[lascuba]

4 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Could be. On the other hand, she was also basically the first -- Joshie's was different -- and JB and M may just have gotten tired of it, looked at all those courtships coming down the road and started to slack off a bit after the first time. .... That would be in line with the way human behavior mostly operates, too, I think. 

Jessa and Ben started courting before Jill and Derrick. Though J/B did court for so long (by fundie standards) that maybe JB/M were over it with them--it's likely that they didn't get private conversations until after Jill and Derrick were married.

[JoanArc]

1 hour ago, WhineandCheez said:

I smoked Teshish in college....

I had sax by the fire....

[Natalie68]

22 hours ago, Lunera said:

I'm getting claustrophobia just looking at these pictures. He is too old to be swaddled, who in their right mind would post pictures of their child like this?! 

I don't even have kids and I thought so as well!  May as well just get the little bugger a straight jacket cause that is what they are doing.  I cannot imagine doing this to a child.  I know BABIES dig it when they are young but he has a look in his eye that is just screaming 'help me!'.  Fuckwits.

[Natalie68]

18 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

He reminds me of a heavier Jeff Daniels.

My granddaughter is 9 months old and won't sit still for a minute.  I've no doubt she would become hysterical if someone swaddled her like that.  At that age, it's all about learning movement skills--she was sooo happy to master crawling.

What I don't get is toddlers DO run around, get into things and just act like toddlers.  They have one gd kid, no jobs, nothing to do except occasionally bake banana bread, interpretive dance for jebus, pontificate about said jebus and how y'all are doing it wrong so why not watch over their child rather than wrap it up in some do-it-yourself torture device?  Izzy, remember this treatment so when your parents are old you can swaddle them when they start getting lippy or manipulative.

[Natalie68]

18 hours ago, OpieTaylor said:

Jill talked about having bad "morning" sickness (all day long) in her first pregnancy and that she had to reassure Derick she wasn't really always sick (when not pregnant). So as soon as he married her, it sounds like she was sick and kinda miserable all the time. Doesn't sound like a good start.

I remember she also commented early in their marriage that Derick had to learn not to "joke" about everything all the time - as if his personality was getting on her nerves.

So maybe he's got buyers remorse.  Deanna or whatever his new sister in law's name is seems bubbly and fun.  Maybe he is seeing another relationship outside the Duggar fold and is seriously wondering what the heck happened to his life and how to get out of it.  Plus if Jill is going to have an army for god she is most likely ALWAYS going to either have morning/all day sickness, be recovering from birth, or jumping his bones day and night, not for fun, but for another baby.  Lather, rinse, repeat.  

[GeeGolly]

3 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

Other cultures have arranged marriages.  some of course are disasters, but there are those that work.  What's up with that.

I think a big difference is with cultures that arrange marriages nobody is trying to wrap it in a different package. It is what it is. Nobody is pretending that two young adults are dating/courting and choosing to marry. It truly is a business-type arrangement with hopes that the couple will grow to like and hopefully fall in love which each other.

[farmgal4]

23 hours ago, Annb67 said:

I'm so sick of them throwing shade at an innocent toddler. The tone they use is that of resentment. You assholes had him, take care of him and love him. Stop having kids,  you don't like them. And Derrick, big damn deal you took the kid to a park. You talk shit about him 24/7. You're a grifting loser, Izzy is anything but blessed to have you two fucktwits as parents.

I'd ❤️ this a million times if I could.

[farmgal4]

50 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

What I don't get is toddlers DO run around, get into things and just act like toddlers.  They have one gd kid, no jobs, nothing to do except occasionally bake banana bread, interpretive dance for jebus, pontificate about said jebus and how y'all are doing it wrong so why not watch over their child rather than wrap it up in some do-it-yourself torture device?  Izzy, remember this treatment so when your parents are old you can swaddle them when they start getting lippy or manipulative.

Sadly, he WILL remember being restrained aka swaddle, and he will most likely be emotionally and mentally scarred because of it for the rest of his life.  When my sister was 2-years-old, she had to undergo an extremely painful medical procedure that involved needles and w/o anesthesia.  52 years later she STILL has to be either physically restrained and/or tranquilized just to have blood drawn.  People who think that babies and toddlers don't remember traumatic events are dead wrong.

[Obsidian]

My nieces love being rolled up in blankets as burritos and sausage rolls, and then 'eaten'. Then there's Izzy who has the same thing done and is screaming. Of course he doesn't know how blessed he is (bit rich coming from the woman who thinks her apparently normal son has a manipulative human nature, and who thinks that she had it tough in DA); he hasn't been able to compare his blessings to those of other children being raised in similar circumstances. Lucky, too, because when he does he's going to have some serious resentment. 

[Mollie]

Those pictures of Izzy being tortured by his Mama and his Papa are going to live on the Internet forever.  Someday Izzy will see them.  In fact, someone should send the link to the Arkansas Department of Human Services and have Jill and Derick investigated for child abuse.  What they did was really that bad!

[Nysha]

I'm guessing that Israel wasn't being swaddled to help him calm down, but as a punishment for being upset in the first place. 

[Mya]

4 minutes ago, Mollie said:

Those pictures of Izzy being tortured by his Mama and his Papa are going to live on the Internet forever.  Someday Izzy will see them.  In fact, someone should send the link to the Arkansas Department of Human Services and have Jill and Derick investigated for child abuse.  What they did was really that bad!

I am surprised that no one has done this yet.

[Churchhoney]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

I think a big difference is with cultures that arrange marriages nobody is trying to wrap it in a different package. It is what it is. Nobody is pretending that two young adults are dating/courting and choosing to marry. It truly is a business-type arrangement with hopes that the couple will grow to like and hopefully fall in love which each other.

Yeah, I agree. Like everything else in Duggardom, their version of arranged marriages pretends they're not arranged marriages and is just lie lie lie lie lie. The ideal of their whole "system" is for everybody to lie about themselves -- for the purpose of fitting the mold -- at all times.

This is why I think reality tv is especially poisonous for this family. You're forced to put up a total false front under Gothardism, JB's and M's crazy control freakiness also demands everybody be false all the time. And then they add to it the necessity to play your life out, send your social media out, etc. etc., always with the primary attention being on how what you're doing and saying plays into building an audience for the season's "story line." 

That's all completely unnatural and they've got it coming from three directions. No wonder they're all nuts.

[mythoughtis]

If Derick and  Jill had been forced to wait to court until he came back from Nepal, that would have helped.

If they had been counseled to court for longer, that would have helped. 

If they had been allowed to have private phone calls and texts, that would have helped. Jessa was allowed to have private phone calls at a certain point, for an hour every night., and her courtship was much longer. 

If they had had pre marriage  counseling by someone other than JB, that would have helped. If Derick had used protection for a year, that would have helped. If they hadn't run off to Danger America, that would have helped. 

[Marigold]

Does anyone remember what in the hell made him reach out to Jim Bob, of all the people who could've contacted for a prayer partner???????  And why did Jim Bob even take his call or call him back? I'm sure the Duggars get all sorts of calls & requests from people.  Why Derick?   

I'm sure Jim Bob was sniffing around for prospective husbands but Derick specifically said a "prayer partner".  Was that a ruse so he could bag a Duggar girl?  Sounds like total bull shit to me. 

Did anyone ever figure out that out? I can't recall discussing it. 

[GeeGolly]

22 minutes ago, Churchhoney said:

Yeah, I agree. Like everything else in Duggardom, their version of arranged marriages pretends they're not arranged marriages and is just lie lie lie lie lie. The ideal of their whole "system" is for everybody to lie about themselves -- for the purpose of fitting the mold -- at all times.

This is why I think reality tv is especially poisonous for this family. You're forced to put up a total false front under Gothardism, JB's and M's crazy control freakiness also demands everybody be false all the time. And then they add to it the necessity to play your life out, send your social media out, etc. etc., always with the primary attention being on how what you're doing and saying plays into building an audience for the season's "story line." 

That's all completely unnatural and they've got it coming from three directions. No wonder they're all nuts.

The problem is the Duggar kids don't know they're lying to themselves because they've never had the opportunity to develop into individual beings or figure out who they are. I don't believe that JB & M knowingly stunted them. I just don't believe they're that smart, or aware enough, to know their actions are disadvantaging their kids. I believe they think they're turning out "successful christian adults".

[ginger90]

3 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Does anyone remember what in the hell made him reach out to Jim Bob, of all the people who could've contacted for a prayer partner???????  And why did Jim Bob even take his call or call him back? I'm sure the Duggars get all sorts of calls & requests from people.  Why Derick?   

I'm sure Jim Bob was sniffing around for prospective husbands but Derick specifically said a "prayer partner".  Was that a ruse so he could bag a Duggar girl?  Sounds like total bull shit to me. 

Did anyone ever figure out that out? I can't recall discussing it. 

People has the answer, lol

“I had gotten an email from Derick a few years ago and gave him my phone number so he could share the work he was doing in Nepal,” Jim Bob says of his first interactions with his daughter’s new beau. “I was impressed with him as I got to know him over the years. He sounded like an amazing young man. I felt like from the beginning, they had similar personalities and goals. I thought they would hit it off.”

 

http://people.com/tv/jill-duggar-being-courted-by-derick-dillard/

Which of course doesn't answer why Derick e-mailed him in the first place.

[GeeGolly]

3 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

People has the answer, lol

“I had gotten an email from Derick a few years ago and gave him my phone number so he could share the work he was doing in Nepal,” Jim Bob says of his first interactions with his daughter’s new beau. “I was impressed with him as I got to know him over the years. He sounded like an amazing young man. I felt like from the beginning, they had similar personalities and goals. I thought they would hit it off.”

 

http://people.com/tv/jill-duggar-being-courted-by-derick-dillard/

Which of course doesn't answer why Derick e-mailed him in the first place.

Huh, over the years? Didn't Derick go to Nepal upon graduated college? Wasn't Derick in Nepal for one year? And didn't Jill and Derick start courting before that year was up?

[Natalie68]

57 minutes ago, Mya said:

I am surprised that no one has done this yet.

me too!

[Sew Sumi]

Derick was in Nepal for about two years. IIRC, he didn't go directly after graduation from OSU. I think there was a gap of a few months before he left the States. I imagine that gap is when he contacted Boob, although one wonders how Big D got Boob's personal email address....or did he contact him through the old blog? I think there was a contact email on it. 

Edited June 19, 2017 by Sew Sumi

[Mollie]

3 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

People has the answer, lol

“I had gotten an email from Derick a few years ago and gave him my phone number so he could share the work he was doing in Nepal,” Jim Bob says of his first interactions with his daughter’s new beau. “I was impressed with him as I got to know him over the years. He sounded like an amazing young man. I felt like from the beginning, they had similar personalities and goals. I thought they would hit it off.”

 

http://people.com/tv/jill-duggar-being-courted-by-derick-dillard/

Derick was only in Nepal for two years, January 2012 – January 2014.  He sent Jim Bob an email asking for a "prayer partner" and, I am sure, donations.  Derick was from Rogers, Arkansas, and Jim Bob Duggar was well known in the area as a wealthy man.  Derick never said he was a missionary there.  He called himself a "Student - Volunteer Coordinator."  He wrote, "I led volunteer teams from America into Himalayan mountain villages as we helped in aiding Tibetan refugees."

[GeeGolly]

1 minute ago, Sew Sumi said:

Derick was in Nepal for about two years. IIRC, he didn't go directly after graduation from OSU. I think there was a gap of a few months before he left the States. 

So JB could have known him for a little over one year before he "introduced" him to Jill? The quote makes it sound like he vetted him for yearssss, then introduced him to his daughter.

[Minivanessa]

Just now, GeeGolly said:

So JB could have known him for a little over one year before he "introduced" him to Jill? The quote makes it sound like he vetted him for yearssss, then introduced him to his daughter.

So, did Derick have to fill out that 50 page questionnaire before he could court Jill?

[GeeGolly]

4 minutes ago, Mollie said:

Derick was only in Nepal for two years, January 2012 – January 2014.  He sent Jim Bob an email asking for a "prayer partner" and, I am sure, donations.  Derick was from Rogers, Arkansas, and Jim Bob Duggar was well known in the area as a wealthy man.  Derick never said he was a missionary there.  He called himself a "Student - Volunteer Coordinator."  He wrote, "I led volunteer teams from America into Himalayan mountain villages as we helped in aiding Tibetan refugees."

So JB knew Derick for about 1 year and 2 months. 

March 2013: Their First Conversation

"The first time Jill and I spoke was over the phone in a brief conversation we had back in March 2013," Derick recalled. Added Jill, "Derick called my dad to give him an update and pray together and I happened to walk in the room. Unlike the other times when I had just listened in, this time my dad told Derick I had just come in the room and asked him to tell me a little bit about himself. We talked briefly that evening, however in the months following I didn’t think much about him."

[RazzleberryPie]

25 minutes ago, Marigold said:

Does anyone remember what in the hell made him reach out to Jim Bob, of all the people who could've contacted for a prayer partner???????  And why did Jim Bob even take his call or call him back? I'm sure the Duggars get all sorts of calls & requests from people.  Why Derick?   

I'm sure Jim Bob was sniffing around for prospective husbands but Derick specifically said a "prayer partner".  Was that a ruse so he could bag a Duggar girl?  Sounds like total bull shit to me. 

Did anyone ever figure out that out? I can't recall discussing it. 

Prayer Partner is lingo for donor. Most of those types of missionaries have scads of Prayer Partners, and they don't really 'know' most of them. When you're raising support, you create a blog, social media presence, visit churches to do presentations, hand out contact cards, and call or write back to those who are responsive. They send you money and pray for you, you send them an e-blast every month, post card a couple times a year, and they feel like they're saving the world along with you. Everybody gets what they need, well, except the actual people in the Missioncation countries.

Derrick probably thought JimBob has money, so why not add him to the list. Derrick probably spoke at a church JimBob had visited, or maybe was just like 'hey, this is a famous Christian on TV, how cool if he'd be a prayer partner. While we're at it, he has a bunch of hot daughters, so I'll see if any of them are available." Now why JimBob gave Derrick the time of day, not sure, but he did.

I'll have to dig up one of my posts from a few years ago that explains how I personally think Binessa and J'Derick both ended up being married so quickly, but it basically boils down to competition and JimBob justifying why his perfect courtship following daughters were still one the market (at 21ish, those old maids!).

[Churchhoney]

27 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

The problem is the Duggar kids don't know they're lying to themselves because they've never had the opportunity to develop into individual beings or figure out who they are. I don't believe that JB & M knowingly stunted them. I just don't believe they're that smart, or aware enough, to know their actions are disadvantaging their kids. I believe they think they're turning out "successful christian adults".

Yeah, I agree that they didn't do it consciously. I think they did it because they're massive control freaks -- and also quite unaware and stupid -- to the point that their lust for control just overwhelms their personalities and they stifle the hell out of everybody in their vicinity without even thinking about it.

Unluckily for kids, there are enough such people around to form groups and gather about gurus like Gothard. And then none of them has to develop any awareness because they can stay away from anybody who does things a different way. They can congregate in flocks of dummies who all have the same personality kink, congratulate each other on it and, with the help of a grifting guru like BG , jointly convince themselves that it's not a warped personality but God's will. 

That makes it somewhat more forgivable, but no less horrifying, to me. lol 

[Marigold]

@RazzleberryPie

That's true.  That is how they do it.  All the churches have names and cards on the bulletin boards.  Sometimes they come and bore you with stories.  I never heard it called a "prayer partner" but rather a "sponsor" or a "supporter" or "supporting church" etc.  However, I'm from the NYC area so maybe Prayer Partner is a local phrase and it trips me up. 

The whole thing is so fishy...didn't Derick say they prayed together on the phone?  From Nepal?  WTF?

It boggles the mind because the lies and exaggerations are so deep....

[HoboClayton]

For those being surprised about those photos not being sent to authorities.. Well? What's stopping you from doing it then? If it bothers you that much, do it yourself. But, if you think those photos are going to make them swoop down on Jill and Derrick, that's not going to happen. 

[cmr2014]

37 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

If Derick and  Jill had been forced to wait to court until he came back from Nepal, that would have helped.

If they had been counseled to court for longer, that would have helped. 

If they had been allowed to have private phone calls and texts, that would have helped. Jessa was allowed to have private phone calls at a certain point, for an hour every night., and her courtship was much longer. 

If they had had pre marriage  counseling by someone other than JB, that would have helped. If Derick had used protection for a year, that would have helped. If they hadn't run off to Danger America, that would have helped. 

This all seems reasonable, but I think what would have helped more is if JB and J'chelle had put the brakes on the whole thing because Jill had never even talked to any other boys. Except, of course, that that is completely the opposite of their belief system.

After thinking about it some more, I doubt there was any way to stop this train once it got rolling. I think Jill was absolutely desperate and would have glommed on to the first guy who showed any interest. A first boyfriend is pretty heady stuff and Jill would not be the first person to simply ignore big red flags that the relationship wasn't going to work in the long run.

I think that they both have a bad case of buyers remorse.

[Sew Sumi]

23 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

So JB knew Derick for about 1 year and 2 months. 

March 2013: Their First Conversation

"The first time Jill and I spoke was over the phone in a brief conversation we had back in March 2013," Derick recalled. Added Jill, "Derick called my dad to give him an update and pray together and I happened to walk in the room. Unlike the other times when I had just listened in, this time my dad told Derick I had just come in the room and asked him to tell me a little bit about himself. We talked briefly that evening, however in the months following I didn’t think much about him."

This is JILL's first conversation, not Boob's. 

[Mollie]

Actually, Derick had been to the Duggar's house once before.  Jill stated, "Christmas 2011, Derick briefly stopped by our house while caroling with a group from his church. Neither of us remembers each other specifically from that time; all I have is a vague memory of the group of people who came."

[Sew Sumi]

30 minutes ago, Mollie said:

Derick was only in Nepal for two years, January 2012 – January 2014.  He sent Jim Bob an email asking for a "prayer partner" and, I am sure, donations.  Derick was from Rogers, Arkansas, and Jim Bob Duggar was well known in the area as a wealthy man.  Derick never said he was a missionary there.  He called himself a "Student - Volunteer Coordinator."  He wrote, "I led volunteer teams from America into Himalayan mountain villages as we helped in aiding Tibetan refugees."

Derick was sent through Cross Church's program. Nepal doesn't allow actual "missionaries" into their country, so they have to represent themselves otherwise. Derick was there on a student visa. I believe his LinkedIn is the source material. 

[GeeGolly]

9 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

This is JILL's first conversation, not Boob's. 

Right and it was in March 2013 about a year after Derick went to Nepal, so JB new him for a year before he introduced Derick to Jill. Not quite the same as JB's quote about knowing Derick for years.

[RazzleberryPie]

12 minutes ago, Marigold said:

@RazzleberryPie

That's true.  That is how they do it.  All the churches have names and cards on the bulletin boards.  Sometimes they come and bore you with stories.  I never heard it called a "prayer partner" but rather a "sponsor" or a "supporter" or "supporting church" etc.  However, I'm from the NYC area so maybe Prayer Partner is a local phrase and it trips me up. 

The whole thing is so fishy...didn't Derick say they prayed together on the phone?  From Nepal?  WTF?

It boggles the mind because the lies and exaggerations are so deep....

I think the college-based ministries focus on "Prayer Partner". I know Campus Crusade or "CRU" or whatever its called now says "Prayer Partner" allows both side to invest more spiritually and, of course, financially. Derrick's church probably just borrowed from that. The mystery is still why JimBob thought Derrick was the perfect one for Jill. I think Jill would've gushed over anyone she thought her dad approved.

[GeeGolly]

1 minute ago, RazzleberryPie said:

I think the college-based ministries focus on "Prayer Partner". I know Campus Crusade or "CRU" or whatever its called now says "Prayer Partner" allows both side to invest more spiritually and, of course, financially. Derrick's church probably just borrowed from that. The mystery is still why JimBob thought Derrick was the perfect one for Jill. I think Jill would've gushed over anyone she thought her dad approved.

I think Jill was quoted as saying God was calling her to do missions "overseas" at that point. Derick was on a mission. Jill's a girl, Derick's a boy. Match made.

[Marigold]

Maybe, back then, Derick and Jill were compatible on the surface?   Now, we see a disaster in the pairing but they were kinda cute when they were courting and Jill really wanted to be a missionary so Daddy picked a missionary for Jilly Muffin. Jill was gung ho on all their SOS mission trips and so emotionally involved with the kids and the orphanages. 

Initially I got the feeling that Jim Bob actually liked Derick. Back then, Derick did seem rather likable. We all had some degree of hope for Derick. 

Jim Bob also picked a guy who had no father and there is no other man for Jim Bob to have a power struggle with. 

[Mollie]

16 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Derick was sent through Cross Church's program. Nepal doesn't allow actual "missionaries" into their country, so they have to represent themselves otherwise. Derick was there on a student visa. I believe his LinkedIn is the source material. 

Derick didn't go to Nepal on a Cross Church program.  The programs connected with Cross Church are very short term (one or two weeks) and everyone who goes has to pay between $125 and $200 per day. Do you think Derick raised that kind of money to stay for two whole years?  Besides that, Cross Church doesn't have trips to Nepal.  The Church trips go to Haiti, Malawi,  Puerto Rico, Guadalajara and Brazil.