Jill, Derick & the Kids: Moving On!!

[Almost 3000]

She does seem happy and secure in her life. I'm content to see how it plays out.

[starfire]

I don't believe she was being literal with the we just got out in time. I sure would hate if people constantly scrutiniz3ed everything they think I said both in and out of context and thought that meant that they know me or my thoughts and intentions. Maybe Jill is happy living the life her family has chosen. Why can't that be?

I agree. Jill said "Looks like we left the outer banks in NC just in time!  Praying for those affected by the hurricane". If I had just honeymooned on a beach and less than a week later there was a major storm, I might have said something similar. I wouldn't mean that the second we left town the storm struck. 

[BestestAuntEver]

I think people perspective of busy beaches my be suaded by where they live. As someone stated above, in the part of the south I'm from June/July are prime beach time for families. Schools are out the 2-3rd week of May & kids go back to school the 2-3rd week of August.

I've went to Corpus Christie & Gulf Port in June. Neither were the most crowded I've seen nor the most vacant. It's what I would consider normal beach day people on the beach relaxing, some staying on land, others in the water playing, sea dooing, fishing, etc.

However, I can see how outer islands on the East would have fewer beach goers in June. Especially during the week.

FYI, it's a bitch arranging family get togethers with family members to the North & East coast in the summer due to the end & beginning of the school year. July is the only month that works.

I know Jill & Derrick are married. & honeymooners yet to me Jill seems to be in what I'm calling, an infatuation phase. The phase where you are first getting to know someone & want to spend every waking minute with or talking to them. Per her twitter, she's driving him to work & bringing him lunch daily. What happens when life goes back to normal & he needs individual time or space. Derrick has been allowed to have friends he's not related to by blood, hobbies & interests that he may want to participate in. How will Jill handle that need for space or desire to do other things? Most people have gone through this before, have hobbies/interests/friends of their own & know how to cope. Jill's never had a relationship before.

[Fuzzysox]

I bet they only have one car between the both of them. In order for Jill to get anywhere during the day she drops him off. And wait til she has kids no way will she have time to be dropping off a picnic basket for him. 

[PecanSandie]

As long as Jill is selling her life for money and public consumption, the people buying the product are going to comment. That's just the way life in general works.

Being a former homeschooler and someone who attended an IBLP conference and experienced that life up close for more than a few years, I find it very interesting to see it play out.

I feel sorry for Jill on one hand because she was the biggest Kool aid drinker of all the kids. So in some senses her mind is what I would considered damaged from growing up in that cult and being forced as an adult to live the life someone else chose for her. And that life and lifestyle was designed by a perverted old man who never married or had children himself.

One the other hand, as I see signs of the Duggars breaking away to some degree (the girls wearing Hooter girls make up, much shorter skirts and very tight shirts, and Jill courting and Marrying a normal christian instead of a fellow ATI cultist) I feel a sense of anger towards the Duggars as a whole for not repudiating Gothardism publicly with the same vigor they previously promoted him.

I suspect that's because they are paid to speak at the conferences, but still, something so soul stealing as Gothardism should be spoken out against.

[Higgins]

 

As long as Jill is selling her life for money and public consumption, the people buying the product are going to comment. That's just the way life in general works.

I understand people will comment but, some comment as if they really know these people. They go much deeper than an observation about something they have shown on the show. It's kind of creepy to me and I say this as someone who is close to someone somewhat famous and have heard so many untrue and speculative things that are so far off the mark about my relative.

[PecanSandie]

When someone has an opinion based oh what someone else has said in public for money and you combine that with what you know about their cult, it's drWing a conclusion based on those things. Just speaking for myself of course, your mileage may vary.

If you think someone has said Jill did something she didn't, then perhaps bring that specific contradiction forward would be an interesting topic.

[ramble]

I know Jill & Derrick are married. & honeymooners yet to me Jill seems to be in what I'm calling, an infatuation phase. The phase where you are first getting to know someone & want to spend every waking minute with or talking to them.

I vaguely remember that phase from about a million years ago, but I was in high school. I don't recall being like that in college or even newly married. Just the thought of it now makes me twitchy. I guess that ties in to how we see these kids getting married with a high school level (if that!) of relational maturity.

[bigskygirl]

Sadly, Jill's life is on display because of her famewhore parents. Yes, rumors have been flying around esp. in the last few years. She has a second chance now for a better life and to cut some ties to the Gothard movement with her husband now. She may not like having her personal life expose to the evil heathens out there by social media, TLC, and other media sources aka People Magazine. The poor girl has been brainwashed to act a certain way and to believe a certain way when it comes to political issues and candidates. She also has been treated like a second class citizen because she is a female.

 

I would love to see her have a chance at a normal happy life with and without Derick where she can explore the world with her eyes wide open and make new friends outside her own religious beliefs that were force on her at an early age by her nitwit parents. She should be able to have own set of opinions and thoughts that are her own (not her parents and not Derick's.) She does not know what to do with her spare time because she spent her time taking care of her younger siblings, traveling around in the dog and pony show. She now drives her husband around and meets his needs. What about her needs? What happens when the marriage newness wears off? What will she have to fall back on? Did she really want to take time off from her studies or was she doing what was expected of her?

Edited July 5, 2014 by bigskygirl

[bigskygirl]

Thank you.  Too bad some of us ladies can not take Jill and show her a night on the town. I feel bad for her. My life has not been sunshine and roses 24/7, but I can speak my mind and do things without my husband's or my parents permission.

 

Of course, there was the one time my cat and I were defrauded by a couple of my neighbors wearing certain type of swimwear. I think the both of us were scarred for life.

Edited July 5, 2014 by bigskygirl

[realityfan26]

Has anyone noticed that Derrick was wearing shorts yesterday? I know we've seen some of the Duggar boys in shorts (Josh?), but I think Derrck wearing them at what was probably a family gathering is a sign that he's his own person.

[overbooked]

And in that same picture.....Jill should splurge on a pedicure.  Would look super-cute with her sandals:)

[lottiedottie]

Anyone know what brand of sandals she is wearing? Those are cute!

[Ljohnson1987]

What if Jill and Derrick don't work out? Can they divorce? J'Chelle and Boob can't think that all 19 of their kids are going to have happy marriages. 

[Literata]

 

Anyone know what brand of sandals she is wearing? Those are cute!

The caption on the IG photo says they're Chacos.

I was raised Catholic and Republican. Today, at 51, I'm neither. I think in time, Jill's views might change. She may not become a card-carrying Democrat anytime soon, but I think she might eventually come to believe that wearing pants doesn't offend God, showing her collarbone is OK, and the heavens won't smite her husband for wearing shorts. I think she and Derrick will always have a Biblical worldview, but as she's exposed to more and more people outside the cult, she might soften her views. I give her credit: She full-frontal-hugged when she wasn't supposed to. She fell hard for a guy her mom seemed to have some reservations about (I have no way of knowing this, but Michelle clearly was NOT on the Derick bus in the stupid etiquette episode). She admitted to not having her head in her chores at home because she was thinking of Derick. She seems to allow her heart to rule her head, which speaks well for her potential to become a much more open-minded individual. But that's not going to happen overnight. 

Edited July 6, 2014 by Literata

[PecanSandie]

Derrick has some LONG toes and fingers!

[BitterApple]

Did Jill just go with a plain band? I probably would have sprung for a diamond band since her e-ring is small, but her wedding set is cute.

Does anyone know how far Derick's work is from their house? I think it's cool he doesn't mind Jill dropping him off so she can use the car, but personally I'd hate to be stuck in the office all day with no options to run out and grab a coffee or run to the store on my lunch hour. It seems like a ridiculous waste of gas for Jill to be making three round trips to Derick's job every day.

[Fabricationary]

Take for instance her lie about going to the beach on her honeymoon: the false claim that hardly anyone else was there because it's not the busy season at the beach.

 

 

Maybe it's not a lie at all - she was there with only her husband, not two dozen+ family members (plus the oft-present camera crew), complete with screaming howlers and charged with the care of multiple little buddies. 

[cereality]

I don't think any of what she's doing -- driving Derick to work; packing a picnic lunch -- is odd given that she's a newlywed and has no relationship experience. She's still infatuated with him and it is probably exciting to get to see him in the middle of the day once in a while. Realistically they probably only have Derick's car right now, as Jill didn't have her own that she brought into marriage; Derick seems like a nice guy who wouldn't want Jill to be stuck at home alone for 8-9 hours/day cooking and cleaning, when she can just drop him off and have his car for the day. It doesn't really inconvenience him all that much, as he's probably not going anywhere during the work day anyway. I suspect Walmart has a big corporate campus where he can grab coffee or lunch, or [gasp] he probably has a few coworker buddies already who he goes to lunch with off campus and one of them can drive. I'm sure they will spring for a 2nd car, but they've only been back 1-2 weeks.

 

As for Derick wearing shorts, he didn't grow up Duggar or fundie. I think he respects Jill enough that he'll let her do what she needs to do to feel comfortable in their marriage and their home esp at first -- whether that means going to events during the day with her family or having Jenny sleep over once in a while, but I think he is secure enough that he is not going to change himself to fit the Duggar mold. I think Jill respects him enough that she wouldn't ask him to (or feels she can't since he's the husband and has authority); I don't expect to see Derick running a race or swimming in jeans anytime soon. One of the many big adjustments for Jill may be the fact that Derick has friends and it's possible that a few of those friends may be women -- whether from OU or work or anywhere else. It sometimes presents an issue with a normal marriage as some people feel that a spouse should not have an opposite gender friend, but for Jill -- she's been raised to believe that a man and woman should never be together for any reason lest they defraud one another -- so the idea of Derick going to lunch with a group of accountant buddies at Walmart that includes a female or two may blow her mind, as she probably imagines that workplaces are 100% male.

[DangerousMinds]

I don't believe she was being literal with the we just got out in time. I sure would hate if people constantly scrutiniz3ed everything they think I said both in and out of context and thought that meant that they know me or my thoughts and intentions. Maybe Jill is happy living the life her family has chosen. Why can't that be?

IMO her life and her comments are up to be scrutinized because she puts it out there on TV, social media, etc. If she wanted to be a private person, she could be.

[CofCinci]

IMO her life and her comments are up to be scrutinized because she puts it out there on TV, social media, etc. If she wanted to be a private person, she could be.

Exactly. She's an adult and who is putting her life on display. I can't understand not commenting on the minor children in this family because they have no say, but she is an adult and uploading the public pictures herself. Fair game.

[bigskygirl]

Before she got married, Jill was expected to let her life be display on television. She is married now, and I wonder if Derick is going along with letting his wife and his married life be shown on television to keep the peace. His mother and brother do not seem to happy about it.

 

Also, Jill is still infatuated (early stages of the relationship/marriage part) and wants to see Derick as much as possible, but sooner or later, this part starts going away. What will she do with her time? She is given up her education for the time being (still bet this was not her idea.) The only thing she fall back on is her family and/or starting her own family. She has a chance to spread her wings and become her own person instead of being a number in the line of Duggar children and/or Derick's wife.

 

Btw, I think Mullet does not like Derick because he is educated and have more on the ball than all the Duggars put together. She also may have notice the cool response from his mom and brother. She acts like she has the hots for Ben, and Ben and his family seems more than willing to drink the Duggar kool-aid and confirm to what is expected of him in regards to possibly marrying into the family.

[bigskygirl]

According to the Duggars Blog, Jill is investing in the lives of her siblings while Derick is at work. Who came up with the word investing? Seriously...

Edited July 5, 2014 by bigskygirl

[BitterApple]

Ah yes, "investing in the lives of her siblings" because God forbid she continues her midwifery studies or picks up a hobby or gasp! a part-time job. Or anything else that could establish Jill as a self-reliant, well-rounded adult who can function for more than 24 hours without her family.

I just can't wait until Jessa gets married. She probably won't even give a backward glance as Bin drives away from the TTH. Somehow I doubt Jordyn will be invited for sleepovers.

[bigskygirl]

Mullet probably still expects her to help take care of her children. Jill probably spends more time with her family than she does with Derick and his family.

 

I cannot imagine being married for a few weeks and having one of your younger siblings staying the night within the first week after returning from your honeymoon. My husband was working seven nights a week when we were first married, and I manage to survive on my own.

Edited July 6, 2014 by bigskygirl

[PecanSandie]

Jill is investing in her younger siblings lives because she knows her mother won't do it.

[cereality]

Before she got married, Jill was expected to let her life be display on television. She is married now, and I wonder if Derick is going along with letting his wife and his married life be shown on television to keep the peace. His mother and brother do not seem to happy about it.

 

Also, Jill is still infatuated (early stages of the relationship/marriage part) and wants to see Derick as much as possible, but sooner or later, this part starts going away. What will she do with her time? She is given up her education for the time being (still bet this was not her idea.) The only thing she fall back on is her family and/or starting her own family. She has a chance to spread her wings and become her own person instead of being a number in the line of Duggar children and/or Derick's wife.

 

Btw, I think Mullet does not like Derick because he is educated and have more on the ball than all the Duggars put together. She also may have notice the cool response from his mom and brother. She acts like she has the hots for Ben, and Ben and his family seems more than willing to drink the Duggar kool-aid and confirm to what is expected of him in regards to possibly marrying into the family.

Let's face it -- the Duggars like people who fawn all over them and act like they are the truth, the light and the way. Derick and his family don't do that. They are also Christian and Godly but realize that you can balance spiritual life with the secular world. In fact they are much like Amy and her family in that regard; Amy said in her special that she is saved, but she does not believe that God is looking down ready to punish you for every act be it dating or kissing boys or wearing jeans.

 

Derick and his family don't NEED the Duggars. Unfortunately for the Dillards, Derick wanted to marry into this family. But they don't need JB and Michelle's money or fame or anything; Derick has the education to provide for a family, as do his mom (and I assume brother as well); Derick could easily get himself a job in NYC or Texas or anywhere he wants to live and he and Jill could move on with their lives and raise their family elsewhere (not saying they would, but they can). Ben OTOH has fewer options and needs to latch on to the Duggar train, and Ben's parents know that and encourage it -- hence all the fawning over the Duggars. Ben -- as of now and probably in the future -- has no real education or trade; easiest thing for him would be to attach to a Duggar, get a house on JB's property; travel around with the family and get noticed in the fundie circles, and use that to get himself a job like Josh's or like the Bates' future son in law Brandon.

Jill is investing in her younger siblings lives because she knows her mother won't do it.

Has she officially given up her training or do we just suspect that because she hasn't gone back yet? If she gives it up -- what happened to the whole thing about it being her passion to help women? Was that just a filler job/education until Prince Charming came along? I mean when people like Alyssa Bates do that, I can see it as she was working a retail job, but when you're supposedly training for a profession, aren't you a bit more committed to seeing it through?

[Literata]

 

Derrick has some LONG toes and fingers!

Bwa ha ha. :)

[DangerousMinds]

Jill is investing in her younger siblings lives because she knows her mother won't do it.

Didn't Jill already invest enough of her time before she got married and started her own household?

[starfire]

According to the Duggars Blog, Jill is investing in the lives of her siblings while Derick is at work. Who came up with the word investing? Seriously...

 

WTH? I had thought maybe she finally escaped the raising of her siblings. I am disappointed she is putting off school yet doing this. On the other hand, Jill might not be able to hack being alone so much, considering how she was raised. She might feel the need to be around her siblings a lot, and take care of them out of expectation from Boob and Mullet, or out of guilt because she knows if she doesn't help out, those jokers won't step up. 

[roamyn]

Maybe Jill WANTS to spend time w/her siblings - esp Jenny, because she knows it's been a hard transition for the younger siblings that were in her buddy group.

She's happy. Shouldn't we all be thankful for that, when shev could've had a Warren Jeffs type tell her who to marry?

[bigskygirl]

Her parents should be handling any separation issues. Mullet and JImBoob are probably expecting her to help out with the kiddies since she quit her training for a while and has nothing else to do. She is not their mother. She should be focusing on her new life and relationship with her husband, not the relationship with her younger siblings. Yes, it is nice to spend time with your family, but she has done that most of her life. She does not know any better. Let her enjoy her life and not be tied to her siblings because her parents are lazy, obnoxious, famewhores who expect their oldest daughters to raise their children. I do not remember them expecting Josh and Anna to come over to visit and take the howlers and lost girls out and have sleep overs.

[jcbrown]

 

I do not remember them expecting Josh and Anna to come over to visit and take the howlers and lost girls out and have sleep overs.

Well, no. Josh has a penis! That exempts him from raising young'uns. His only task is to look at his shoes when wimmenfolk tell him to so he can avoid being defrauded! Poor, helpless, yet also totally somehow invested with authority Josh. And Jill, of course, is a sistermom and somehow accountable for raising her siblings, perhaps in perpetuity.

 

The logic does befuddle me--men are somehow absolved of taking responsibility for themselves when it comes to sexuality or when it comes to being able to feed and care for themselves, yet also given total control over their wives and children. No wonder the Duggars discourage critical thinking. The emperor is completely naked and flapping in the breeze.

Edited July 6, 2014 by jcbrown

[Rhondinella]

NOTE FROM MOD:  Please don't make posts that contain simply "Great post!  or "I agree" and no other substantive content.  If you want to express to another poster that you like/agree with the post, that's what the "like" button is for. 

 

Also, I suggest we all just go with the base assumption that if Jill is forced to stay home/have kids/not go to school/not have a career at all against her will, that's clearly a bad thing.  I don't think anyone here would advocate that.  But just because she is currently not in training/school/a job literally DAYS after returning from her honeymoon does not indicate that she won't do one or all of these things in the future, especially as there have been friends in interviews who claim that she plans to pick back up on her midwife training after a break to adjust to being married (which is not unreasonable).

 

So, yes, while Jill certainly is fair game for having her life discussed since it has been put on TV and she's over 18, I don't think that is itself a defense for making big assumptions about her future that no one (not even she) can possibly know at this point.

 

I'd like to politely (ahem) suggest we move on from this particular topic of debate.  Thanks.

[PecanSandie]

My apologies for complimenting people on their through and what seemed to be well thought out posts. I don't know how to use the like button while visiting on my phone. But going forward I'll be sure and save my compliments on those great posts for the times I can get to the like button.

Moving to the next issue, of you wanting us to stop discussing what's going on with Jill's studies and her still doing her mother's child rearing for her, thereby once again having Michelle take away the grown up life Jill could be starting and instead manipulating Jill into being sub. Mommy instead of Michelle doing her God given roll.

It seems with this having been such a huge part of the show for so many years and to find out it's still continuing is something very worthy of discussion.

Is there any way we can respectfully appeal that whole avenue of discussion being cut off?

Many thanks for considering!

[Rhondinella]

Nope.  Decision of the mod is final.  Unless you can discuss the topic in a new way, I see no reason. You've all made your points several times; they are noted.  No good can come of continuing to rehash them.

 

I'm not saying we can't discuss Jill at all, or even talk more about her future plans if they eventually come up in the show.  But for the moment we have said all we can (and then some) about it based on the little information we have.  Piling more and more rhetoric on top of it will inevitably just lead to incivility, which we have come close to a couple times already.

[Rhondinella]

May I also direct people to the "Ignore" function?  If you go to your Profile and then into My Settings you'll see an option for Ignore Preferences.  There you can type in the name of posters whose posts you don't want to see and they will be blocked from your feed. 

[PecanSandie]

Hi, did something happen to my post asking how we can appeal? We were not fighting on this thread, just discussing the recent news that came out today on the blog. As far as I could tell no one was fighting at all, and no one would wNt to put anyone on ignore as we all are enjoying g it.

Who to/ how can we appeal?

[Rhondinella]

Locking this thread temporarily.  Check back tomorrow.

[Rhondinella]

Ok, we're back up and in business, but a few caveats:  PLEASE READ!!

 

I have dealt with some people who would not take instructions and just let it go already; suspensions have been handed out.  Please don't make me do it again.

 

As always to those of you who didn't feed the trolls, thank you.

 

I have decided to allow discussion of Jill and her future plans, etc. to continue at least on a trial basis.  But unless you have something new to add to the discussion, please don't post about it.  There is no reason to continue rehashing the same arguments.  And, again, we know so very little about what her actual plans are; it seems to cruel to mock her for things that may not even be true.  I like snarking on the Duggars as much as the rest of you, but there's no need to act like these people personally killed your puppy, ok?

 

Thanks.  Now, go forth and snark!

[Fuzzysox]

I really loved the picture that I saw on the Pickles and Hairspray FB wall of Jill and Derick kissing all the while fireworks are going off behind them. Such a neat picture!

[McKay]

Even if Jill wasn't lying about the beach incident, she was made to lie when asked directly which Duggar girls had been involved in a courtship.  When Jordyn screamed "and Jill!" she was ignored, and Jill said "Oh, Jessa has, ask her."  Lies of omission are still lies and I think it's fucked-up that a family that claims to follow the Bible would tell their child to lie because they need better show ratings.  Their priorities are so screwed-up to me.

 

And they're living in "the kitten house," so Jill is not at all free of JimBob, which likely means his influence as well.

 

Derick is probably super-stressed right now; I can't imagine having your seven-year-old sister in law spending the night when you just got married two weeks ago even WITHOUT everything else going on in his life.  As badly as I feel for Jennifer and Jill, I kind of feel worse for the guy.  I'm sure he thinks Jill is worth it, but if my spouse's sister had tried to crash with me while dealing with a parent's cancer diagnosis and a new romantic relationship, I would not have been pleased. 

[bigskygirl]

Derick may go to work and enjoy the peace and quiet from being away from the in-laws. And yes, I do not understand why Jennifer needed to stay the night after they return home from their honeymoon.

[MrMattyMatt]

Derick may go to work and enjoy the peace and quiet from being away from the in-laws.

Derrick knew full well what he was getting into, what with the TLC filming and all.  For all we know (or don't know) he found JIm Boob online to be a prayer partner in order to snag a Duggar bride.  He could have easily walked away from this circus, nobody held a gun to his head....  or did they?

Edited July 6, 2014 by MrMattyMatt

[Ljohnson1987]

I can't wait to see J'Chelle's head explode when Jill announces that she's pregnant. We know how jealous of Anna's fertility J'Chelle is. imagine how it'll be when it's her actual daughter. 

[BitterApple]

I think Jill is suffering from a sort of Empty Nest Syndrome. Jill's buddies have been her de facto children for over a decade. I think Jill has always been a pleaser and can't walk away as easily as someone like Jessa could.

If Jana ever gets married I have a feeling she'll be same way.

[Ljohnson1987]

People is reporting on Dill being married for two weeks. Isn't an anniversary supposed to symbolize a year? Give it a rest! They're married. The world will continue to spin.

[bigskygirl]

We need constant reminders about the first Duggar daughter getting married and how it affects the whole family don't ya know.

[starfire]

Does the article mention anything about Jill continuing to invest in the lives of her siblings? I'm curious if she puts in half-days at the TTH, or if she goes back to the TTH both before and after she brings Derick his lunch to work, or how this post-marriage sibling investing works.

[mbutterfly]

Derrick knew full well what he was getting into, what with the TLC filming and all.  For all we know (or don't know) he found JIm Boob online to be a prayer partner in order to snag a Duggar bride.  He could have easily walked away from this circus, nobody held a gun to his head....  or did they?

It would be unkind of Derrick if he were to become critical of Jill being the person she is, I think (granted it is none of my business, but hey I watch the show). That said, I don't see Derrick as unkind nor so foolish as to not be aware Jill will stay close to her family in the near future.