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Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage


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Key rules:  Stay on topic; go to Small Talk with things not about commercials; be civil; no politics. 

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What gets me most about this one:  how in the fuckity fuck is DirectTV going to prevent you from becoming "that" guy?  Either you are unfortunate enough to have overactive hair follicles or you are not.  Unlike (arguably) modifiable behaviors like creepiness or social awkwardness, subscribing to the "cool" DirectTV service is not going to do a damn thing for your super hairiness.

Maybe DirectTV will expose him to all the late night Nads infomercials that will solve his hairiness problem.

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On a related note: Toyota now has a copyright infringement suit against them for that commercial: http://www.courthous...10/22/72680.htm

I didn't get that story from the ad at all. It seemed more like a naive woman finding something that never really belonged to BBK but he was nice enough to sign it. Good luck trying to prove that the ad has any real value in selling cars, but I'm sure the guy's lawyer is just fishing for a settlement.

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I didn't get that story from the ad at all. It seemed more like a naive woman finding something that never really belonged to BBK but he was nice enough to sign it. Good luck trying to prove that the ad has any real value in selling cars, but I'm sure the guy's lawyer is just fishing for a settlement.

How is it not BB King's?  It said "Lucille" on it and the voiceover said she found the previous owner. 

 

But some interesting points have been raised for me.  Either it's a stolen guitar, which makes me wonder what other stolen goods are in that storage locker, as well as what this auction was in the first place, or else it's not stolen and he got rid of it, in which case, why would he want it back?  Additionally, you don't "win" things in auctions; you buy them. 

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Maybe DirectTV will expose him to all the late night Nads infomercials that will solve his hairiness problem.

 

Hee.  The name of that product just makes my 10-year-old self crack up, so thanks for that.  Although just thinking of the before and after shots makes me queasy.

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How is it not BB King's?

People counterfeit just about everything that could be of value and if you find something like that in a storage locker it's more likely than not it'll be fake (unless you're a cast member of Storage Wars or some other such show).

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For the story itself in the Toyota ad, I thought she finds the guitar, "reunites it" with him, gets him to sign it and then skips back off into the sunset with her as her "hit the jackpot" moment.  Or does he give her some other guitar he signs in return.  In any case there is a lot that simply fails to motivate me to consider what the car is all about.  And in a way that makes me look at Toyota as a brand with little admiration let alone buying aspiration.  The new 2015 Corolla ad doesn't help.  I want to see the followup to the faux-Holi ad and let us see the runners a kilometer down the course blowing dust choked mucus out their noses in attempts to breathe.

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I didn't get that story from the ad at all. It seemed more like a naive woman finding something that never really belonged to BBK but he was nice enough to sign it. Good luck trying to prove that the ad has any real value in selling cars, but I'm sure the guy's lawyer is just fishing for a settlement.

The lawyer has to know you can't copyright ideas, only the expression of them, so "it was in my book" isn't a defense even for wholly imaginary things if there are sufficient differences. And since it really happened, it probably has an entirely different set of rules attached - it's as much BB King's story as his.

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In REAL life, yes, but I think in the world of the commercial, if that was meant to be the case, it would have been made clearer.

No, it would have detracted from the narrative flow. They were already showing you the "Lucille" on the guitar so that they didn't have to work anything into the script, and whether it was real didn't matter to the point of the ad, so why clutter things up with details?

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Is that the one where she supposedly finds Lucille and returns it to BB King? That commercial is so stupid on so many levels. What market are they even trying to go after? People that buy a Camry on the basis of random anecdotes that have nothing to do with a Camry?

 

On a related note: Toyota now has a copyright infringement suit against them for that commercial: http://www.courthousenews.com/2014/10/22/72680.htm

 

Goodness, that sounds like a stupid lawsuit.  The commercial is kind of cute.  

 

The one that's NOT cute is the one for some salsa chips where people think an apartment is a real Mexican restaurant.  

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I hate that ad. When I see all those people sitting around munching on chips, all I can think is, "What kind of moron are you?"

I agree; the "patrons" are morons.  Sure, this guy's apartment is a restaurant.  There is little seating, only one idiot running around, no menus  . . . . And the guy's no rocket surgeon.  Is he taking orders for food he can't provide?  The party at the coffee table would like guacamole, enchiladas suiza, chicken mole and a pitcher of margaritas.  Hop to it, moron!

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Plus, while product placement issues demand it, who thinks a restaurant serves salsa in a store bought jar?  Especially such a recognizable brand?  It's not like this is some new to the market salsa.    But then how many years did they try to pretend that coffee you have been secretly drinking was Folgers(?) or those hilarious Wal-mart ads telling people the steak they are eating, the rather gross last day allowed in the case by the FDA looking steak was bought at Wal-mart? 
(And packaged at a butchering center seven states over.  On hi-def the one commercial the meat actually pre-cooked looks a touch grey around the edges.  )

 

Still the ad bugs for all the reasons listed as well as the fact it never seems to establish what the guys are getting out of the whole "confusion" other than the "joy" of running ragged plonking down their ridiculous Cost-co hoard of bags and jars.  But the new Keurig ads do the same thing. Why do I covet your machine so I can fulfill the demands of a bunch of rude neighborhood assholes, most I only know as "policeman, or garbageman".  I always knew I was not the targeted demographic in almost every commercial.  I'm just glad to have somewhere to vent because most of my friends have a real hard time of it trying to figure why it matters.  Well it does. 

 

It does.

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I just had a moderate to severe attack of peeing my pants! Guess I'd better call that company that will discreetly send me a case of Depends.

Hahaha, my favorite thing about the ads for that company are that they refer to their employees as "Incontinence Specialists." I just imagine those poor people having a placard on their cubicle that says "Incontinence Specialist" under their name...

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I always knew I was not the targeted demographic in almost every commercial.  I'm just glad to have somewhere to vent because most of my friends have a real hard time of it trying to figure why it matters.  Well it does. 

 

It does.

The other day I mentioned to someone I was on line discussing/snarking on/venting about commercials.  He looked at me like I had three heads and said incredulously "Really?  You do that?" like it was the strangest thing he had ever heard.   I agree.  It matters.  it does.  

 

In our defense, commercials often guide the understanding people have about other groups.  We all learned men are children who cannot be trusted to do the simplest tasks.  That is, unless they're shopping for financial services.  Then only recently have women been involved and rarely on their own (with the exception of telling mom to buy insurance on dad since you figure one of these times he'll fall off the ladder and kill himself - hell, the whole brood seems to be hoping for his imminent demise so they can score some sweet funeral expense insurance money).  And women are obsessed with yogurt.  If they're not eating it because they flove it, they're eating it to lose weight or to poop or to counter their eternal yeast infections which we know they have because they are wearing their grey hoodies of feminine itch and odor.  They often talk to the men in their lives like they are complete morons.  Of course, the men are so stupid they don't mind.  Children are adorable when they destroy things.  And snack chips render people so incredibly stupid they cannot tell an apartment from a restaurant or a box from a time machine.  

 

Okay, I may be ranting now.  However, every time we praise a commercial that does show a positive shift in societal norms and mock one that leads to the dumbing down or negative stereotyping that reduces us all to mere caricatures, I like to think we do a little bit to improve the situation.  Then again, I could just like to snark.  And I am glad to have found my people.  

 

Hahaha, my favorite thing about the ads for that company are that they refer to their employees as "Incontinence Specialists." I just imagine those poor people having a placard on their cubicle that says "Incontinence Specialist" under their name...

After I left my job as a shit shoveller, I really moved up in the world and became an incontinence specialist.  I'm working toward a degree in body fluid controls and analytics with an overall goal of becoming a vomit analyst.  If they really use the job title incontinence specialist, how would they ever be able to get another job?  They'd be lucky to get through an interview without the interviewer being on the floor laughing.  Do you prefer a cork, a clip or botox to the bladder to help control incontinence?  

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However, every time we praise a commercial that does show a positive shift in societal norms and mock one that leads to the dumbing down or negative stereotyping that reduces us all to mere caricatures, I like to think we do a little bit to improve the situation.  Then again, I could just like to snark.  And I am glad to have found my people.

 

Sniff, this may be the most beautiful thing I have ever read.

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That would cause a severe (nothing moderate about it) case of puking from the innocent people who'd see me.

 

No, no.  Because your march of In Depends, Once... begun will rouse every other user to drop trou and boldly and bravely show the world why you rustle when you run.  You will be legion.  

 

I know it to be so because I saw it in a commercial.

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Hahaha, my favorite thing about the ads for that company are that they refer to their employees as "Incontinence Specialists." I just imagine those poor people having a placard on their cubicle that says "Incontinence Specialist" under their name...

I desperately want an "Incontinence Specialist" to be someone who specializes in being incontinent. A rather specialized skill.

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I desperately want an "Incontinence Specialist" to be someone who specializes in being incontinent. A rather specialized skill.

And now I'm seeing that on a resume.  Job title:  Incontinence Specialist.  Accomplishments:  Maintained full incontinence for three years.  Filled adult diaper hourly.  Became tester for standalone toilet devices. 

 

Okay, I really have to finish my resume so I'll stop thinking this way.  

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I desperately want an "Incontinence Specialist" to be someone who specializes in being incontinent. A rather specialized skill.

I need a new job. I may apply for this position. All I'd have to do is read this forum to keep up my pee quota.

OMG! I saw Sasqwatch Rob Lowe today. Curtain of arm hair - ewwww!

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Wasn't that originally longer when it came out?  I seem to remember seeing him wasting the day playing games before settling in for his nap.  As the working spouse, I'd be pretty damn annoyed to come home - after having done the grocery shopping on the way home from my job - to find out my partner had spent the day acting like a lazy teenager.  I would not manifest this annoyance by engaging in some passive-aggressive bullshit with my vehicle, though, but that's how Madison Ave. likes to portray women.  Still.  In 2014.  Sigh.

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Hahaha, my favorite thing about the ads for that company are that they refer to their employees as "Incontinence Specialists." I just imagine those poor people having a placard on their cubicle that says "Incontinence Specialist" under their name...

Can you imagine winning "Incontinence Specialist of the Year?"  I mean, do you put that award on your mantle?  Do you get to give a speech?  What does that scene look like?  Are they called the "Inconties?"

 

 

Because you all inspire me so, I just watched the Tostitos commercial, and its just that ridiculous.   First off, why they hell are they giving people free chips?  Or are they charging some premium for people to sit on a stool by their dryer and eat bagged chips and salsa in a jar?  It makes a difference, because I need to know who the moron is, and I need to know who the asshole is.  If you're running around in an apron giving people free food, then you're an idiot, unless you're running a soup kitchen.  And your neighbors are assholes for expecting free food.  If you are charging people a lot of money to eat bagged chips and salsa from a jar, then you're an asshole, but a smart asshole, and your neighbors are morons.   And this is supposed to be some dinner party, then everyone sucks, you for not having more to eat than cheap ass salsa and chips, and them for talking to you like a waiter.  When you pull the finger up routine in my house, you gotta get the fuck out.

 

Second, how many jars of salsa and bags of chips do they have?  Were they preparing for an earthquake?  Armageddon? Rapture?  Do random people just drop by their apartment often thinking its a restaurant?

 

Third, I get the two guys are somehow morons, but she appears to be the face of reason.  How is she not telling people to get the fuck out of her apartment?  I don't care how much of an endorphin rush I get post workout, I see 20 random people in my apartment eating my chips, you got to get the fuck out....right now.  And you all can give me $5 on your way out for drinking my water, eating my chips and salsa, and apparently taking advantage of the simpletons I live with.....its a little something I like to call "simpleton tax"

Edited by RealityGal
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Is this supposed to be cute?

 

 

Because it isn't.

Jayzus!  Can women be anything other than fucking naggy passive aggressive shrews?  Ever?  Did he eat her yogurt?  Did he forget to buy her yogurt? 

 

Who the hell is amused/interested in this commercial?  Ugh!  What type of woman even wants to be like this?  He should put arsenic in her Yoplait.

 

ETA: I literally felt my blood pressure rise at this commercial.....damn

Edited by RealityGal
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Hahaha, my favorite thing about the ads for that company are that they refer to their employees as "Incontinence Specialists." I just imagine those poor people having a placard on their cubicle that says "Incontinence Specialist" under their name...

My question, is Specialist a promotion?  And if so, what is the entry level position?  and what do you become after a specialist?  what is the corporate structure here, whats position can I aspire to break the glass ceiling to get to?  Incontinence Officer?  VP of Incontinence?

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Wasn't that originally longer when it came out?  I seem to remember seeing him wasting the day playing games before settling in for his nap.  As the working spouse, I'd be pretty damn annoyed to come home - after having done the grocery shopping on the way home from my job - to find out my partner had spent the day acting like a lazy teenager.  I would not manifest this annoyance by engaging in some passive-aggressive bullshit with my vehicle, though, but that's how Madison Ave. likes to portray women.  Still.  In 2014.  Sigh.

 

Bastet, I don't know about the original ad being longer. I did find a version that ran the same ad twice in a row, which was kind of odd. What's so aggravating about it is that she doesn't wake him up and use her words to express her displeasure, she sneaks the console thing out of the house and then cheerfully runs over it. It's the glee she takes in it, that he displeased Herself, so she's going to destroy something expensive to show her pique. I hate to imagine what she'd do if she came home and dinner wasn't ready. Blow up the kitchen?

 

My question, is Specialist a promotion?  And if so, what is the entry level position?  and what do you become after a specialist?  what is the corporate structure here, whats position can I aspire to break the glass ceiling to get to?

 

Don't you mean the porcelain ceiling?

Edited by Cobalt Stargazer
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Third, I get the two guys are somehow morons, but she appears to be the face of reason.  How is she not telling people to get the fuck out of her apartment?

 

It's his apartment, not theirs ("What are all these people doing in your apartment?"), so I like to give her a pass on not kicking people out, especially since she doesn't go along with it, either, because she's the only one who reacts to this bizarre scenario like a normal person.  Plus, "You mean the ottoman?" is well delivered.

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Second, how many jars of salsa and bags of chips do they have?  Were they preparing for an earthquake?  Armageddon? Rapture?  Do random people just drop by their apartment often thinking its a restaurant?

 

The moment I saw the girlfriend it became clear. I work in the supermarket industry, I can spot an extreme couponer a mile away. He probably can not wait to start in on those 500 cans of Vienna sausages she has stored under his bed, then he is going to start in on those 100 boxes of hot pockets she has stored in a freezer she made him buy. I would not blame him for starting a tapas bar.

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Jayzus!  Can women be anything other than fucking naggy passive aggressive shrews?  Ever?  Did he eat her yogurt?  Did he forget to buy her yogurt? 

 

Who the hell is amused/interested in this commercial?  Ugh!  What type of woman even wants to be like this?  He should put arsenic in her Yoplait.

 

ETA: I literally felt my blood pressure rise at this commercial.....damn

 

See, I didn't see her a passive agressive, she ran over his shit.  I laughed  but someone I know got upset at this commercial and my laughing at it.  I asked, why are you upset over this stupid commercial?  She said that it's saying to us, the audience, hey,  laugh at meanness.  Even if the husband is a lazy douche, the wife should sit him down and say, "you're a lazy douche, grow the fuck up" not run over his shit with her Firestone tires.  

Edited by Neurochick
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I must have been tired last night, because I didn't realize she actually ran over his gaming equipment; I thought she kept driving right up to it and slamming on the brakes to freak him out.  (Both are ridiculous responses, of course, but I think it's even worse to destroy expensive gadgets.)

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See, I didn't see her a passive agressive, she ran over his shit.  I laughed  but someone I know got upset at this commercial and my laughing at it.  I asked, why are you upset over this stupid commercial?  She said that it's saying to us, the audience, hey,  laugh at meanness.  Even if the husband is a lazy douche, the wife should sit him down and say, "you're a lazy douche, grow the fuck up" not run over his shit with her Firestone tires.  

See, to me its passive aggressive, because she didn't do what your friend said.  Addressing the problem by running over someones stuff instead of just saying "listen, you gotta do better" is ridiculous.  He is an adult,  with a kid you take away their stuff as a form of punishment because you're the grown up and the parent.  Instead of dealing with the adult as an adult you're treating him like a kid.  And who knows why he was sleeping, maybe he had a super rough week at work, maybe he could explain that to her if she had asked, like an adult, instead of assuming that the right thing for her to do was take away his shit and run it over with a car.  Maybe the next time she pisses him off, by doing something annoying, he should set all her shoes on fire.  Is this how adults are supposed to behave with each other.  Instead of addressing your anger with the person directly, just hurt or destroy something they like.  I find absolutely no humor in that, and if he had taken it upon himself to set her shit on fire in response, I would have no problem with that since apparently thats how she feels you need to deal with frustration in a relationship.  She is no better than him, she is in no way superior to him or in the position of being an adult to his child, so she has no right to run over his stuff or destroy it in any other way.  But of course, its supposed to be funny because she did it.  What if she did something annoying and he decided to run over a pair of her favorite shoes?  I wouldn't find that funny either.  But somehow women are supposed to want to be like this?

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I must have been tired last night, because I didn't realize she actually ran over his gaming equipment; I thought she kept driving right up to it and slamming on the brakes to freak him out.  (Both are ridiculous responses, of course, but I think it's even worse to destroy expensive gadgets.)

even just driving up to it and slamming the brakes is ridiculous.  Its treating him like a naughty child instead of an adult.  "ohh, well here I am, and I'm gonna freak you out by threatening to destroy your stuff, because I'm mad that I found you sleeping."  WTF?  She is his wife, his PARTNER, not his superior.  Whats the final takeaway...he better do what she says or she gets to destroy his stuff?  

 

He should poison her yogurt.

Edited by RealityGal
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Or, you know, maybe they shouldn't be together in the first place.

Gasp - they should be *single*?!

 

Last commercial break had an ad that started out "There are X million single people in the US," says the perky announcer. Yep, I think. I'm one of them. And? "And we're going to fix that by matching them up!" Or words to that effect. Er, no.

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Or, you know, maybe they shouldn't be together in the first place.

Yeah, but then someone else gets stuck with her.  And then she gets pregnant and creates an annoying ad child, like the little girl from E-Harmony, or the screaming brat from the Dish Hopper commercials.  Poisoned yogurt takes her out of the dating pool altogether.

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Then there's the flipside to the passive-aggressive woman in the ad for one of those Medicare supplement companies.  Hubby is driving and the wife says something to the effect of "We have to talk", to which hubby replies "But I already took the trash out".  And then wifey says in a saccharin-sweet voice "Yes, and I thaaank youuu for that".   She's so smug and condescending (and annoying, to me) that I never make it through the end of the commercial to find out which company is advertising.

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Gasp - they should be *single*?!

 

Last commercial break had an ad that started out "There are X million single people in the US," says the perky announcer. Yep, I think. I'm one of them. And? "And we're going to fix that by matching them up!" Or words to that effect. Er, no.

 

Thank you! I'm single on purpose, thank you very much. And the older I get, the more set in my ways I get. I figure I probably wouldn't be very good at the whole give and take that you need to actively work at in order to live in harmony with someone. I've gotten very used to eating and sleeping and making spur of the moment plans when I feel like it and not having to worry about someone else's plans and schedules. But even in my 20s when I was vaguely thinking I'd find someone eventually, I already knew that it was much better to be alone than be with the wrong person. I see so many people bouncing from relationship to relationship, seemingly afraid to be by themselves, but I think you can't be a good partner until you know who you are. And I don't actually have to make the mistakes myself when I have so many salutary lessons all around me. :P

 

Then there's the flipside to the passive-aggressive woman in the ad for one of those Medicare supplement companies.  Hubby is driving and the wife says something to the effect of "We have to talk", to which hubby replies "But I already took the trash out".  And then wifey says in a saccharin-sweet voice "Yes, and I thaaank youuu for that".   She's so smug and condescending (and annoying, to me) that I never make it through the end of the commercial to find out which company is advertising.

I hate that woman. Poor guy is too beaten down to know he should run like hell.

Edited by riley702
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 But even in my 20s when I was vaguely thinking I'd find someone eventually, I already knew that it was much better to be alone than be with the wrong person. 

 

exactly!  I see friends of mine whom I love dearly, but they seem to think that their success as a woman relies on their success in getting a man, and sometimes it seems like any man will do.  As long as there is a penis, there is a chance.  I think we live in a society that pushes that agenda, which is a big part of the problem.  Women are taught that to be successful they need to have a man and push out some kids or else they are half a woman.  Stinks.

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Hubby is driving and the wife says something to the effect of "We have to talk", to which hubby replies "But I already took the trash out".  And then wifey says in a saccharin-sweet voice "Yes, and I thaaank youuu for that".

 

Sure, because domestic chores are a woman's responsibility, so if the man creating 50% of the detritus of life does 50% - hell, let's say 30% - of cleaning it up, he's to be commended for helping the little woman with her job.

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Bawahahaha! Thank you all so much. I've now been promoted to Incontinence Expert since I tripled my daily pants peeing quota by reading these last few posts. Of course most of my raise is going to the purchase of more Depends, even with my employee discount.

I think you all need to work on Madison Avenue. I'd love a commercial where someone comes home and yells "get the fuck out! " And have napping hubby run out into the street, reach through the car window and cram a poisoned Yoplait (with a skull and crossbones on the label) into Destructive Yogurt Bitch's mouth. Then Giant Viagra Head Lady could say, "I got a man from eHarmony, because I had to have one, but he's got a limp noodle."

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Then there's the flipside to the passive-aggressive woman in the ad for one of those Medicare supplement companies.  Hubby is driving and the wife says something to the effect of "We have to talk", to which hubby replies "But I already took the trash out".  And then wifey says in a saccharin-sweet voice "Yes, and I thaaank youuu for that".   She's so smug and condescending (and annoying, to me) that I never make it through the end of the commercial to find out which company is advertising.

 

Yeah, I'm a guy and I hate that guy because he acts like he's doing her a favor by taking out the trash.

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I think you all need to work on Madison Avenue. I'd love a commercial where someone comes home and yells "get the fuck out! " And have napping hubby run out into the street, reach through the car window and cram a poisoned Yoplait (with a skull and crossbones on the label) into Destructive Yogurt Bitch's mouth. Then Giant Viagra Head Lady could say, "I got a man from eHarmony, because I had to have one, but he's got a limp noodle."

 

And then Nicki Minaj could twerk onto the scene and tell her to come to K Mart and check out her new winter line.

 

Yeah, I'm a guy and I hate that guy because he acts like he's doing her a favor by taking out the trash.

 

For me it isn't so much that she's basically patting him on the head like he's an eight year old who wants his allowance. No conversation I have ever wanted to have starts with the words "We have to talk", because what it usually means is "You've done something wrong and I'm annoyed." Maybe he was trying a preemptive strike to stave off the discussion about what he did to irritate her since they're in the car.

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