S07.E04: Unforgiven

[Absolom]

A sample is one done at most and with options.  It is not buying enough material to make them all and having it there. That is implying you are my slave labor and I don't care what you think. 

[kassa]

I think the reason Meri gets more scrutiny is that, to paraphrase Austen, "it is a truth universally acknowledged that Kody is a doofus."  So the REAL question is... why put up with that?  That's where all the juicy speculation comes in.  

On the one hand you could look at it as blaming the victim... except it takes two to make a bad marriage.  Or, in this case, 5.  Four DIFFERENT women have tied themselves to this guy in this set up.  That's what's fascinating. 

[Madding crowd]

It is making a huge assumption  to say that Meri thinks of Janelle as slave labor. Neither woman said anything like that. You are suggesting there is only one right way to hold a meeting about decorations. I say there is no right way for something like this and neither woman was wrong or seemed upset. Meri decorates more often and is more organized than Janelle so she brought ideas. No one was forced to do anything here. I admit I don't understand the intense hatred for a person you have never met, but implying Meri considers Janelle to be a slave is something that did not occur in this episode. 

[CofCinci]

34 minutes ago, Madding crowd said:

It is making a huge assumption  to say that Meri thinks of Janelle as slave labor. Neither woman said anything like that. You are suggesting there is only one right way to hold a meeting about decorations. I say there is no right way for something like this and neither woman was wrong or seemed upset. Meri decorates more often and is more organized than Janelle so she brought ideas. No one was forced to do anything here. I admit I don't understand the intense hatred for a person you have never met, but implying Meri considers Janelle to be a slave is something that did not occur in this episode. 

It's occurred over their 2-decade relationship. Jenelled worked long hours plus a commute -- while Meri sat on her ass, enjoying First Wife status. 

[3girlsforus]

1 hour ago, VedaPierce said:

        
I don't think you should blame your happiness or lack thereof on anybody but yourself. If you are unhappy in your marriage/with your spouse you either change yourself, your expectations or you leave. You don't wait for your spouse to change or start making you happy. If Meri is unhappy, she can ask kody to go with her to therapy, work on the marriage together, or she can  leave the marriage. Like an adult. It's not easy, but big change is never easy. It's not easy to change your weight, change your job, change your life, but if you aren't happy, you and only you are responsible. Not your kids or husband or parents. Meri choosing to start an emotional affair, intending it to go further, is the wrong choice. Regardless of kody or Robyn or Christine or janelle or whether Mariah went off to college, etc. I'm not buying the excuse that Kody was so awful that Meri had no choice but start professing her love to someone else. Kody is awful, but that's another debate. 

I agree except in this situation there is definite abuse. These women aren't being hit but Kody is emotionally abusive and manipulative. You wouldn't tell a woman who is being physically abused that she is totally responsible for her happiness because she could leave. There are all kinds of psychological issues that keep women with abusers: Financial issues, children, poor self esteem, fear the will never be loved or will be alone, etc.   These issues exist here too and the belief that this jackass is their only way to salvation in the afterlife. Kody isn't in this for religious reasons, but I do think the wives believe it. 

I do believe these women can leave but I understand why they don't. I think it's going to take one of the women with a lot of support from someone they really care about in order to make it happen. And then if one of the successfully gets out, then the others may follow. This is why I hope Mariah's epiphany about polygamy leads her to understand what a crappy marriage Meri and the other wives have. I think Meri could leave with Mariah's support. I think that's why she went looking for someone else before leaving. She doesn't have the self-esteem, confidence, or independence to leave without someone else to encourage her. I hope that person is Mariah rather than a guy.

I'm not saying Meri is totally innocent or that her behavior isn't wretched. I just think that there are the same kinds of intangible issues here that you see in physical abuse so leaving isn't quite as straight forward as 'hey - they could leave so if they stay and are unhappy it's on them'. 

[VedaPierce]

2 minutes ago, 3girlsforus said:

I agree except in this situation there is definite abuse. These women aren't being hit but Kody is emotionally abusive and manipulative. You wouldn't tell a woman who is being physically abused that she is totally responsible for her happiness because she could leave. There are all kinds of psychological issues that keep women with abusers: Financial issues, children, poor self esteem, fear the will never be loved or will be alone, etc.   These issues exist here too and the belief that this jackass is their only way to salvation in the afterlife. Kody isn't in this for religious reasons, but I do think the wives believe it. 

I do believe these women can leave but I understand why they don't. I think it's going to take one of the women with a lot of support from someone they really care about in order to make it happen. And then if one of the successfully gets out, then the others may follow. This is why I hope Mariah's epiphany about polygamy leads her to understand what a crappy marriage Meri and the other wives have. I think Meri could leave with Mariah's support. I think that's why she went looking for someone else before leaving. She doesn't have the self-esteem, confidence, or independence to leave without someone else to encourage her. I hope that person is Mariah rather than a guy.

I'm not saying Meri is totally innocent or that her behavior isn't wretched. I just think that there are the same kinds of intangible issues here that you see in physical abuse so leaving isn't quite as straight forward as 'hey - they could leave so if they stay and are unhappy it's on them'. 

I don't see abuse with this group of idiots. I just see a bunch of suppressed, selfish, con-artisty idiots. Oh and lazy too. Let's not forget that there are 5 adults and zero jobs. The kids work. Adults sit on a couch and navel-gaze. And wipe crud out of their eyes. I feel to call any of this abuse is to diminish real abuse. 

[Aethera]

Hi folks - I know this episode is largely about the Catfish scandal, but I'd suggest if you want to talk about Meri generally, it's best kept in the Meri thread.  Thanks!

[StayingAfterSunday]

5 hours ago, laurakaye said:

 

The eternal Meri Brown conundrum, y'all.

So Meri falls for that swashbuckling rascal Kody Brown, he of the big personality and dazzling smile (back in the day).  He is all about polygamy (for reasons that I think were more selfish than religious).  Meri, although raised with polygamy, probably wasn't thrilled about having to share Kody, but knew what she was getting into when she said "I do."  I think she felt entitled as the first and legal wife of Kody, and assumed she'd always have the upper hand when it came to her man.  But she was only 19 years old, and I give her a little bit of leeway for falling in love.

Enter Janelle, who divorces Meri's brother and marries Kody.  I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall when this arrangement went down, because what a tangled, messy web of familial boundaries this is.  Is it possible that Meri wouldn't have been so mean and aggressive with Janelle had she not divorced Meri's brother to marry Meri's husband?  I think if Meri ever does decide to delve into some deep therapy, she needs to start right here.  Did Meri have much of a say about bringing Janelle into the family, or was she just blindly agreeing to whatever Kody wanted?

The Christine comes along...cute, funny, dizzy Christine, daughter of plyg royalty.  She chases Kody until he catches her.  What follows is a veritable baby-parade, with Janelle and Christine playing tag at becoming pregnant over and over and over, while Meri stands by, watching.  Here, I do feel for Meri, as her desire for more children was just not going to be part of her story.  I'd imagine Janelle and Christine share a bond that Meri could not be part of.  That had to hurt.

Enter Robyn, the person who Meri was going to bring over to "her" side in order to freeze out the pain that Janelle and Christine were unintentionally (probably, maybe) causing in Meri's life.  Meri and Robyn apparently become very close, to the point that Robyn offers to rent her womb space to Meri.

EXCEPT...Meri's man divorces her to marry Robyn (for the sake of the children, of course...no ulterior motive there, ROBYN).  Meri is getting older, and fluctuating hormones are no joke.  Kody tells Meri to drop the baby-making stuff (since he's got a new baby machine in Robyn).  Meri's only child grows up and leaves.  Kody is otherwise occupied with his new toy.  To those of us who watch her on our televisions every Sunday, it is crystal clear that Meri is depressed, sometimes painfully so.  As a woman, I can empathize.  Even though this is a situation of her own making in that she married a polygamist, it's difficult to turn away from her obvious sadness.

So Meri finds an online sweetheart and engages in what, to me, is an affair, and then artfully plays the victim as she attempts to regain the trust of the "fam'ly."  BUT I still empathize, because despite everything, what we have at the very foundation of this wacky family is the fact that Kody can sleep around and Meri cannot.  I don't know if this is what Meri thinks when she closes her eyes alone in her McMansion, but how can she not?  Kody and Meri are having marital problems, but Kody gets to escape in a way that Meri never can.  This is where I struggle, because although she is living in a situation of her own making, at the heart of it it's unfair to Meri.  Kody can flit from one house to another when one of his wives is struggling, and I have a feeling that's exactly what he does.  What can Meri do?  Who can she turn to?  She is so brainwashed that not only is Kody the King of the Kuddle-Sac, she has been taught that jealously is a moral failing within herself.  Sick and twisted to those of us on the outside, but to Meri, it's her truth.

Is it wrong of me to want to smack her upside the head and make her see things my way - that she is stuck, her husband has moved on, and if she wants any shred of happiness, she's going to have to strike out on her own, leave the family behind, and find herself, apart from her place in this family?  Even if she does realize this, can she actually do it?

Wow, sorry for the dissertation!  I started typing the thoughts and couldn't stop.  LONG STORY SHORT: I both dislike Meri for being so mean, while also understanding where the meanness comes from. 

Perfectly stated.  And so, so true.

[Jellybeans]

I finally forced myself to catch up on this show and I do not know why I bothered. I hope I don't watch another episode again but I am sure I will.  And I hope this is the last damn season of the fake sister wives.

It is difficult to like the parents but the older siblings are turning out great.  Will be curious to see how Robyn's turn out.

Would love to see Meri (yes, Meri!) and Christine leave.  Robyn is happy and Janelle will never leave.  She is permanently on vacation upstairs. But nah, they will tell themselves they are in luuuvvvvv with a bobble head penis.

[VedaPierce]

On June 1, 2016 at 2:21 PM, Normades said:

I could be wrong, but on the subject of Meri's tantrum over Solomon.  I couldn't believe her selfishness and lack of consideration of a small child.  I could swear I read somewhere that during her "friendship" while the catfish was on the phone with her, she allowed Sol to speak to "batman."  I can't remember where I read it, but it may have been a review of the "book."  If this is true and I were Robyn and Kody, there is no way I would ever let her take my child out of my sight and is sheds some possible light on the quick NO.  I tend to think the only reason the other little girl (Brianna?) was allowed to go might have been the presence of cameras.  I don't like any of them much, but I think Meri is an awful person who always wants her way.  She chose the lifestyle and chose to act irresponsibly.  I hate that she makes me take Kody's side.

You are 100% right and I love your post!

[VedaPierce]

On June 2, 2016 at 1:15 PM, laurakaye said:

I wonder if there is pressure on Maddie to have all four wives act as mother of the bride, or if she has any say in it.  As she's the first to get married, she may be the one to set the precedent.  EasySpreeStep is right in that Janelle is her bio mom but Christine raised her (and I have noticed that several of Janelle's older children really seem to care for Christine as they do their bio mom).  Why on earth would she want flight-risk Meri and dad's newest squeeze to act as her mothers also, if they've not done so in the past?

Oh I'm sure there's TONS of pressure, I wouldn't be surprised if one of the kids come out to being all into living polygamy all of a sudden, probably auraura....

[VedaPierce]

9 hours ago, 3girlsforus said:

This has bothered me through this entire thread. I don't like Meri or how she has behaved but there seems to be a growing trend to ignore Kody's role in this. I think calling Kody a part time father is generous. He shows for parties and photo-ops. We've seen his complete unwillingness to be an actual parent. These women are single moms. Kody is the root of so many of the emotional issues these women have. (Snip)

Kody uses the jealousy to his advantage. He loves the wives at odds and battling for position. It makes him feel manly (barf). 

Yes. Kody absolutely sucks. And yes, these are all single moms. But they are ALL complicit in this lifestyle, and all very superior about it as well. Letting us know how we will never understand the awesomeness that is sisterwives. How about when Janelle starts rhapsodizing about how hot Kody is when he gets on a high horse about polygamy?  YUCK ! They're all equally culpable, gross hypocrites. 

And I agree that he loves the wives at odds, but I actually think they all get off on it a little. They are all addicted to the little highs they get when they are on top and favored for a bit because someone is in the doghouse. Look at Christine's absolute giddiness at the current situation of the 'naughty' wife. She's happy as a clam because of it! I don't believe it's only due to the meds....

Edited June 3, 2016 by VedaPierce

[StayingAfterSunday]

About Meri's request to take Solomon with her on the trip.

I agree with those who suspect she had an ulterior motive in making this request. Since Mariah has always loved Sol, it would make sense that Meri might see an advantage in bringing him. A distraction, perhaps, so that Mariah's focus would be Sol rather than Meri? Or simply as a gift? "Here, Mariah, instead of a bottle of wine, I've brought something better -- Solomon!"   Under different circumstances, I could see Meri's preferring to bring Sol on the visit rather than Breanna.  He's younger, cute as a button, innocent, and too young to be judgmental.

Even with all of the above considered, Robyn did not need to go into any lengthy dissertation as to why she was refusing Meri's request.  The speculation by Robyn and Kody over the cause of Solomon's recent clinginess, etc., was unnecessary; furthermore, the reasons were rather obvious:  Solomon was feeling a little insecure knowing that Baby Sister would soon be arriving, thanks to Kody mentioning the fact every ten minutes or so.

Edited June 4, 2016 by StayingAfterSunday

[CofCinci]

2 hours ago, auntl said:

Kody said that Christine saved the Brown family.

Douche probably says that to wives two through four.

He'll say it to wife number five too.

[ReadMeLattice]

On 6/3/2016 at 4:21 PM, auntl said:

I reread the first half of their book. In the early years of the marriage, Janelle was a true believer in her new religion. No matter what Meri did, Janelle wasn't leaving. She believed in the faith. She suffered at Meri's hand.

Kody was not raised in their faith and had no idea how to handle these two wives that didn't like each other.

Meri, who was the only one raised in the religion steamrolled over Kody and Janelle. I don't even think that Kody and Janelle knew what they were doing.

Christine came in knowing the religion, with truly good intentions. She brought equilibrium to the family.

Kody said that Christine saved the Brown family.

And yet he treats her like total crap. 

[Granny58]

On 6/3/2016 at 10:49 AM, laurakaye said:

The eternal Meri Brown conundrum, y'all.

Amen!  In a nutshell.   Agree with everything you've written.

Edited June 5, 2016 by Granny58

[Granny58]

On 6/3/2016 at 2:41 PM, VedaPierce said:

        
I don't think you should blame your happiness or lack thereof on anybody but yourself. If you are unhappy in your marriage/with your spouse you either change yourself, your expectations or you leave. You don't wait for your spouse to change or start making you happy. If Meri is unhappy, she can ask kody to go with her to therapy, work on the marriage together, or she can  leave the marriage. Like an adult. It's not easy, but big change is never easy. It's not easy to change your weight, change your job, change your life, but if you aren't happy, you and only you are responsible. Not your kids or husband or parents. It's nobody's job to make you happy! Meri choosing to start an emotional affair, intending it to go further, is the wrong choice. Regardless of kody or Robyn or Christine or janelle or whether Mariah went off to college, etc. I'm not buying the excuse that Kody was so awful that Meri had no choice but start professing her love to someone else. Kody is awful, but that's another debate. 

For all we know, Meri may have begged Kody to work on the relationship...or for any crumb of attention and understanding.  We simply don't know.  Also, if one considers a marriage as a religious covenant, leaving is less likely and enduring through it considered a plan.  

[ReadMeLattice]

@Granny58, agree with that totally. It's not that simple. However, having an affair and then lying about it probably isn't part of her covenant either.

[VedaPierce]

I also can only comment on what they have shown, I've seen Christine ask kody to work on their marriage because she's not happy, they even brought that stupid therapist on their supposed romantic getaway! I think Meri is the type to bottle up her anger and storm away like with the sol rejection. Then be pissy for hours if not days, until someone comes back to try to placate her. 

[okerry]

On 6/3/2016 at 9:49 AM, laurakaye said:

Enter Janelle, who divorces Meri's brother and marries Kody.  I would've loved to have been a fly on the wall when this arrangement went down, because what a tangled, messy web of familial boundaries this is.  

 

Excellent post, but this part really jumped out at me. 

Boundaries. Every dysfunctional family has weak, missing, or just effed-up boundaries. Exactly like the Browns.

Yet these women have been told virtually all their lives that there’s nothing wrong with the way they live. They’re just “different” and “special” and “chosen.” In a sick way, that’s what many abusers say – especially the sexual abusers.

I sometimes wonder if Meri didn’t fall for the catfish so easily because, in addition to being severely depressed and rejected and humiliated, it was just one more case of effed-up boundaries and being told how special she was to do all this for Batman/Batfish whatever it was. Of course, you don’t have to grow up in a plyg house to get catfished, but it did kind of jump out at me.

But the boundaries in that house – oh, my dear god.

One man who openly bedhops and impregnates four different women and gets off on them fighting over him (and I’m positive this is the case.)

A sister-in-law who becomes your husband’s mistress and you’re supposed to be happy for them.

Another mistress who sweet-talks your husband into divorcing him so she can marry him. And sits right there and watches you sign the divorce papers. (I realize it may have been fake, but that scene of Meri in the lawyer’s office, signing away her marriage to her husband and his mistress, was one of the most heartbreaking things I’ve ever seen on TV whether they meant it that way or not. Sometimes fiction is just as effective as reality.)

These people have virtually no healthy boundaries. There’s no respect whatsoever for any woman’s relationship with her husband; that boundary has been torn down. Which leads to far too much dependence on the kids to provide emotional support for their mothers, who get none from their “husband” but are not free to seek a better man elsewhere.

Boundaries, people. Whatever went wrong, it usually comes down to boundaries. Get some.

[Granny58]

3 hours ago, Lm2162 said:

@Granny58, agree with that totally. It's not that simple. However, having an affair and then lying about it probably isn't part of her covenant either.

absolutely, but people don't start out marriage expecting to cheat....it really does show how desperately unhappy she is. 

[ReadMeLattice]

13 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

absolutely, but people don't start out marriage expecting to cheat....it really does show how desperately unhappy she is. 

I definitely agree there, but if she was going to break it, she had a lot of other options as to how to do it. 

It's also sad because I think of how many lonely single/divorced middle aged men there are out there who would love a kind woman to be with, and instead we have Meri obsessing over some fantasy. Reminds me of men who go through a midlife crisis and try to be with some 18 year old model instead of a woman who would treat him well. It's not different just because she's female. If he hadn't supposedly been super hot, tall, young, and rich beyond her wildest dreams, would Meri have fallen for "him" at all? 

Edited June 5, 2016 by Lm2162

[Kiss my mutt]

I think the if Meri really wanted to leave I think the other wives and kody would be relieved. 

[missy jo]

Good for Mariah! This should be an ad for going to college. She went to university, and "learned critical thinking skills," then realized she didn't agree with polygamy or the tenets of her religion.

As annoying as she's been, it just goes to show that she had the capacity to grow outside her environment. 

Saw the previews for tonight's episode. I don't know if I can tolerate Kody mansplaining labor and childbirth. 

[RazzleberryPie]

3 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I think the if Meri really wanted to leave I think the other wives and kody would be relieved. 

Janelle and Robyn all but picked her suitcase and kicked her out the door during that dinner in Alaska when she did she may leave. 

Janelle was probably jumping for joy inside. Christine seemed like she was holding back, like she knew a little but didn't have all the pieces. Bestie Robun is the one who surprised me the most by sipping her soup and telling Meri if she needed to go, then great. 

[missy jo]

I'm Team Mariah on this one. Her mother had an affair. That's a BIG deal. And it was a relationship that she'd warned her against, and that Mariah ended up tangentially associated with. It's gross, and a major betrayal. 

I have issues with apologies. They are often selfish and manipulative. People expect to do whatever they want, and then demand absolution. It's for their own benefit to make themselves feel better.

Well, "I'm sorry," but you don't get to dictate the timetable of other people's feelings about your behavior. I think Mariah explained it pretty well, and she has the right to take the time she needs. 

[laurakaye]

Mariah was surprisingly well-spoken on camera about Meri's affair.  She says she told Meri that it was a bad idea from the get-go, but Meri ignored her.  Mariah is probably aware that Meri was sending pictures and mushy voicemails while Mariah was under Meri's roof.  Mariah says that none of this is her fault, which is 100% true, but I can totally see Meri spinning it that way, with her "poor me, I only had one child and that child is leaving me so I'm lonely"  spiel.  Meri is pouring all of her love into Mariah and Mariah can't handle it (excellent point by Mariah)...that Meri wants forgiveness on her terms, but that's not going to happen, it's going to be on Mariah's terms, which it should be.  I can't recall what else Mariah said, but I found myself practically high-fiving her through my television, and I usually don't feel that way about Mariah.

Meri's got her work cut out for her regarding her daughter.  Apparently Mariah went to college and gained not only knowledge, but a pretty strong backbone.

[RazzleberryPie]

My read on Meriah, is that her bubble was burst when she went to college and learned she wasn't such a special snowflake. Nobody cares who she was, that she was poly, that she was the Golden Child, etc. PreMed is difficult, and that probably took her down a notch or two, too. 

As for her changing her mind about polygamy and suddenly become more feminist, between figuring out her dad and his wives were constantly playing each other, to her mom cheating, to not immediately being swept off her feet by her own Prince Charming, she's done a 180 and against it all.

i seriously think she was one of those girls who thought she'd meet her husband first week of class and be happily ever after, but she wasn't very pretty inside or out, and it didn't happen. Cue the 'men are oppressive' music. It's about her own hurt feelings as well as her family's dysfunction.

[ghoulina]

On 6/3/2016 at 6:21 PM, auntl said:

Kody said that Christine saved the Brown family.

I can see this. 

And yet, he treats her the worst. (Or did, pre-Catfish.)

On 6/5/2016 at 11:20 AM, VedaPierce said:

 

I also can only comment on what they have shown, I've seen Christine ask kody to work on their marriage because she's not happy, they even brought that stupid therapist on their supposed romantic getaway! I think Meri is the type to bottle up her anger and storm away like with the sol rejection. Then be pissy for hours if not days, until someone comes back to try to placate her. 

 

To me, Meri seems like the type who expects her partner to know what she's thinking and how she's feeling at all times. She shouldn't have to come tell him, he just automatically know why she's upset. And when he doesn't, that's another strike against him. If Kody and Robyn hadn't gone over there and smoothed things over with Meri, she probably would have iced them out for weeks. 

[ladle]

Meri got caught sending banana fellatio pics to a catfisher, yet I was just forced to sit through two hours of treehouses and toddler travel plans?! 

It's unconscionable. 

[BlackWidow]

On 5/30/2016 at 0:28 PM, Kohola3 said:

I was pulling myself together after watching the PBS Memorial Day program and unfortunately landed on SW just as Eyebrowgate unfolded.  Mariah may think herself a college student with "critical thinking skills" but she came off like a Mean Girl bully which was not helped by having her snicker behind her hand.  I don't care what a jackass your mother is, that kind of act does not promote open dialog.  An iota of maturity would have included confronting the situation directly, not "neener, neener, you are funny looking" childish statements.

Haven't watch this in several years and the 30 seconds I saw justified my boycott.  Love the snark but will never again make the mistake of landing on TLC when SW is on.

At first I fell for this as well (and due to a pinched nerve, it's easy to look to this kind of stuff for distraction if nothing else), meaning I fell for her actually being mad. Now I'm starting to question all kinds of things on this show, meaning there might be a good deal of 'acting' going on her. What's the daughter going to say in order that she stays in good with Kodfish? is she going to say' wow sucks mom, wish he had been real, better luck next time..btw, though investigating other systems of belief and thought, I may not agree with how you have handled things but I feel bad for you..'.  Also Meri might gain from Mariah being fake-mad at her in the my one kid is mad at me waaaa kind of way. Also it paints her as a sympathetic character for we at home, or attempts to, though they don't really need to. Like some other poster said, we don't have to want to be her BFF to feel bad about her lot in general.  Both M/M gain by playing into this. So I don't know, it could be something the daughter was either annoyed with or thought was stupid but they blew it up for the show. I just think it is probably BS. The daughter is a grown woman and needs to stop with the whiny squeaky plaintive voice. It's not quite the 'wull mumble mumble, I'm 5' of someone else but it doesn't really scream ''I'm an adult' either.  Having the daughter sort of bully the mom I suppose is supposed to satisfy the 'roman Colosseum' factor in viewers like 'yeah, you tell her Mariah!' (jER-ry ! jer-ry!) while at the same time making you sort of pity mom. 

On 5/30/2016 at 3:18 PM, auntl said:

Someone on this board said that Meri got out Meried by Robyn. That sums her situation up in a nutshell. Now that Sam isn't real, Meri is trying to get her position back by utilizing the games she's always played. The problem is that Robyn is not Janelle or Christine. She's just as good, if not better at the game than Meri. When Kody starts falling for her crap, Robyn pulls him right back. Meri is going nuts because the tools that she has always used to win are no longer working. To me, the only upside to Robyn joining the family, is that Meri's own dirty trick blew up in her face. She wanted to hurt Janelle and Christine once again, but hurt herself most of all. Just rewards are very sweet.

   I'm not totally sure she is smart enough to be as evil and conniving as people are suggesting.  It could be some weird kind of dynamic she was seeking by bringing #4 into it. If she was lonely enough to fall for a catfish, and not smart enough to not have real proof of this person existing, in some warped way, she probably thought #4 was a good idea and a possible allie as she had given up on Christine and Janelle.  Or as some posters suggested ages ago, she saw Kody starting to get ideas and thought it is better if she controls the situation than let it play out with whoknowswhat and thought #4 was passive and somehow in not the greatest situation with her kids, and would be eternally grateful to Meri for 'lifting her up'.  I don't get the buddy buddy vibe thing they used to have at all now, in fact it is super weird that Christine has warmed up to her, although I think Christine is liable to be nicer to #4 when she's huge and pregnant and it's likely  when that is the case, Kodfish is hanging around or well, you know..more often.

On 5/29/2016 at 8:25 PM, RedheadZombie said:

 

Mariah used to be a cute girl.  I think she and Maddie do themselves no favors by dying their blonde hair dark.  At least try Mykelti's red once or twice.

One of of these last episodes, I saw a bunch of kids in the kitchen and for a second I was like, oh I wonder who that Asian girl is (because of the dyed dark and flatiron on Myk) and she does have a little of that look with her eyes, though that trait isn't exclusively an Asian trait, ) think Renee zelwegger before she got the plastic surgery, Blake Lively has it somewhat, Jennifer lawrence)  I guess I never noticed it on Mykelti until she dyed her hair. They can spray medical grade hydrogen peroxide on the too-dark dye job if they don't like it. You just do it for as many days as it takes until it looks more normal, or spray it on the ends if they tend to 'grab' and look weird. It's probably just trying to be individual in a sea of dirty-to-platinum blondes. I think we may have seen Myk's hair her real color right before she dropped out of pursuing fashion stuff at school. Similarly, Maddie looked more 'mainstream' a while back, was it high-school graduation or college when she was in the 'I'm going to be a mainstream LDS person' days. Now I can picture she and Caleb on one of those sci-fi apocalypse shows, holed up in some mountain cabin, chopping wood, eating homemade soup and fending off drama and look-at-me reality-tv-zombies that come creeping up the mountain chanting 'must have attentionnnn' (as opposed to brains)...

On 5/30/2016 at 5:14 AM, ghoulina said:

ISo now Meri is doing art therapy. ......The whole Solomon conversation was ten kinds of awkward.

 These seemed like total filler and/or not real like the Mariah meeting. . Meri painting, filler. Woohoo I would rather watch Bob Ross and he has already graduated to his own planet or whatever. The let-me-borrow-your-kid when you are like 8 or 9 months along thing also felt staged. Let's make up a story about meri trying to see if they trust her, and her being vulnerable to them and they saying no and her feeling all butthurt. Come on, TLC I could make up better fake drama than that.

On 5/31/2016 at 7:58 PM, Madding crowd said:

Kody has always made it clear that each family is separate, with separate homes and separate lives. I see no reason to hate Meri because she had one child or to hate Mariah for being one child. It doesn't make sense to me to say that Mariah is an awful person because she is an only child, then say she is an awful person because her brothers and sisters should come first. Which is it? If she is an only child, then she and her parents need to do what is best for her. 

  Re the whole money X number of kids and whatever. It didn't really seem like they were all that unequal to me everyone living in that one place, and they wouldn't admit it but I would bet with getting food stamps and WIC for that many kids, they would be ok and probably Meri wasn't getting that, so maybe one household had to have more cash because they didn't use the stamps, though they even showed on the early show, they borrowed from each other. I would bet in that culture of plyg-life, people keep score of every little thing with everythng because everyone is always weighing whether someone else is loved more or is more 'special' because they got this and someone else didn't , even if it all sorta bleeds together in the end with who gets what.  I mean, if you're going to share your husband, better get used to sharing a whole bunch of other stuff too, I guess.

On 6/1/2016 at 6:18 AM, Armchair Critic said:

YES to all of this. And Kody knows darn well that he is the issue but sat there with a blank look on his face acting "shocked" that Meri might not be totally fulfilled being in a relationship with him.

 I think that's kind of one of his very few go-to looks. Derpity Derp it's Kody the Golden Retriever!  I keep thinking one of these days he's going to get all introspective and show this new emotional range - just kidding, I know he's not.

On 6/1/2016 at 9:18 AM, AZChristian said:

Since the inception of reality TV shows, it seems that these shows tend to emphasize the traits of each participant.  If they are greedy, it's blatantly obvious (even though in the early stages, production seems to try to hide it).  If they are kind, that shines through.  If they are lazy, stupid, grifters, etc., - well, it's hard to hide it.  They are just exposing themselves to more than one person at a time on TV.

And yet by looking at "fan" sites, it's easy to see that there are still some people who "buy" it.  Which is why con artists continue to get away with it.

   I don't think they can hide the personality stuff but as I mentioned, I'm starting to get a lot of the 'scripted' vibe when they don't feel like they have enough of reality show recipe item X, whether it be fake upset or fake happiness or whatever.

On 6/1/2016 at 3:09 PM, seasick said:

I know a lot of you don't like Robyn, and you seem to have some inside scoop on things, but here's what I saw.  Meri has never been a 'sister' or a friend to Christine and certainly not to Janelle.  I guess when Christine came on the scene she and Janelle bonded more and I'm sure Meri used the 'one kid 'theme as an excuse to stand apart.  It wouldn't have mattered anyway. ...... Robyn's done.  it takes two. and Meri blew it.   Meri is an anger and pity suck. Too self-absorbed to be part of things.  Robyn was a true friend to her and I'm sure Meri hurt her deeply.    So now Robyn owes her nothing.  

   I don't like the concept of people having to 'owe' each other friendship, nor do I think #4 had Meri's back from the beginning. Both of them, I think neither one of their intentions and agendas were totally out there in the open but they revealed themselves over time. I still don't think Meri did it to do anything to the others, but thought she was going to benefit someone, or at least damage control since Kody may have looked on the hunt again. Meri probably thought #4 was way more under her thumb and malleable than she really was, and likely the 'whee we're gonna be on a perm'nent honeymoon 'stuff wasn't what Meri had in mind when she half-assedly 'adopted' Robin and kids and they all had to see Kody act the fool while #4 seemed to just sit on the couch and whine 'whut bout meee, I moved fer yew..' and not really take into consideration the domino effect of what was happening with the other women. It's not just her though, they ALL kind of have this curious immaturity which is sort of simultaneously weird and sad.

 

On 6/2/2016 at 7:07 AM, laurakaye said:

So much passive-aggressive stealthy behavior with these women, it's a wonder any of them can sleep at night.

I think it's even beyond passive-aggressive, which implies sorta nasty yet not overt stealthy bitchitude but it may even start treading into the land of people borderline abusing each other, when they know what each other's weak spots are. Like prison, the bolder in-your-face ones are going to bully and intimidate and the bullied ones will do what they can to undermine them when they aren't having to polish their boots. How horrible must it be to think, Ok this person just isn't my cup of tea, it isn't even their fault but here you are, expected to have this ready-made friendship. The dysfunctionalness with this crowd leads me to believe the deal of 'the women have to ok anyone new coming on board' is total BS.

On 6/3/2016 at 10:51 AM, Madding crowd said:

And Meri thought the meeting was to discuss ideas and look at samples. What makes Janelle right and Meri wrong? Is Meri required to be wrong in any transaction? Here is what Janelle could have done: say I though this was the pre-pre decorating meeting, I don't want to look at samples now. Or, My ideas were more like this, or I have some pictures of ideas on my phone. Meri likes visual samples of things and Janelle does not. Neither is wrong or right.

I don't even know why they have to work on the same thing together. If you're trying to get to know someone, you sometimes just put up with whatever they like in getting to know them. Maybe one week you do something the other thinks is fun, who knows you might not even think it was horrible. Then the next week it 's your turn to pick what you do. Then you find out just by hanging out what things you will not be of the same mind on and what stuff you discover you actually do have in common, but it comes naturally, not like 'hey I'm really good at this, and I'll let you play with me..''...and maybe you find like 2-3 things you both like and you have like friend dates.. its kind of awful seeing  grown women acting out stuff we learned in grade school like making thanksgiving craft stuff out of old cans and like it's this huge deal-these two need to get to know each other better even after all these years before they can feel normal enough to hang out at each other's houses and work on projects.

On 6/6/2016 at 9:46 AM, ghoulina said:

I can see this. 

And yet, he treats her the worst. (Or did, pre-Catfish.)

To me, Meri seems like the type who expects her partner to know what she's thinking and how she's feeling at all times. She shouldn't have to come tell him, he just automatically know why she's upset. And when he doesn't, that's another strike against him. If Kody and Robyn hadn't gone over there and smoothed things over with Meri, she probably would have iced them out for weeks. 

Oh I would bet the original three have given up on him as a means of emotional support  whether or not they talk to him about it he seems relatively flat that way..and because none of them have that, keeping track of time spent or material things etc become that much more important. When you have real closeness with someone, you don't worry  so much about say how many times you went out or how much they spent on a gift, because you already feel cared about. They don't have to either try to prove it with these external things or use those things as a way to 'make up for' being a flake.  The borrowing the kid story didn't seem real, pretty sure that was invented/scripted or at the very least, suggested. TV people:  Hey Meri ,why don't you go over and ask if you could take Sol?  Don't always believe everything labeled 'reality' , remember it is filtered through the TV and producers and all of that.  This is why I don't invest as much in the storyline as I do in watching how people behave.

[MarysWetBar]

7 hours ago, BlackWidow said:

At first I fell for this as well (and due to a pinched nerve, it's easy to look to this kind of stuff for distraction if nothing else), meaning I fell for her actually being mad. Now I'm starting to question all kinds of things on this show, meaning there might be a good deal of 'acting' going on her. What's the daughter going to say in order that she stays in good with Kodfish? is she going to say' wow sucks mom, wish he had been real, better luck next time..btw, though investigating other systems of belief and thought, I may not agree with how you have handled things but I feel bad for you..'.  Also Meri might gain from Mariah being fake-mad at her in the my one kid is mad at me waaaa kind of way. Also it paints her as a sympathetic character for we at home, or attempts to, though they don't really need to. Like some other poster said, we don't have to want to be her BFF to feel bad about her lot in general.  Both M/M gain by playing into this. So I don't know, it could be something the daughter was either annoyed with or thought was stupid but they blew it up for the show. I just think it is probably BS. The daughter is a grown woman and needs to stop with the whiny squeaky plaintive voice. It's not quite the 'wull mumble mumble, I'm 5' of someone else but it doesn't really scream ''I'm an adult' either.  Having the daughter sort of bully the mom I suppose is supposed to satisfy the 'roman Colosseum' factor in viewers like 'yeah, you tell her Mariah!' (jER-ry ! jer-ry!) while at the same time making you sort of pity mom. 

   I'm not totally sure she is smart enough to be as evil and conniving as people are suggesting.  It could be some weird kind of dynamic she was seeking by bringing #4 into it. If she was lonely enough to fall for a catfish, and not smart enough to not have real proof of this person existing, in some warped way, she probably thought #4 was a good idea and a possible allie as she had given up on Christine and Janelle.  Or as some posters suggested ages ago, she saw Kody starting to get ideas and thought it is better if she controls the situation than let it play out with whoknowswhat and thought #4 was passive and somehow in not the greatest situation with her kids, and would be eternally grateful to Meri for 'lifting her up'.  I don't get the buddy buddy vibe thing they used to have at all now, in fact it is super weird that Christine has warmed up to her, although I think Christine is liable to be nicer to #4 when she's huge and pregnant and it's likely  when that is the case, Kodfish is hanging around or well, you know..more often.

One of of these last episodes, I saw a bunch of kids in the kitchen and for a second I was like, oh I wonder who that Asian girl is (because of the dyed dark and flatiron on Myk) and she does have a little of that look with her eyes, though that trait isn't exclusively an Asian trait, ) think Renee zelwegger before she got the plastic surgery, Blake Lively has it somewhat, Jennifer lawrence)  I guess I never noticed it on Mykelti until she dyed her hair. They can spray medical grade hydrogen peroxide on the too-dark dye job if they don't like it. You just do it for as many days as it takes until it looks more normal, or spray it on the ends if they tend to 'grab' and look weird. It's probably just trying to be individual in a sea of dirty-to-platinum blondes. I think we may have seen Myk's hair her real color right before she dropped out of pursuing fashion stuff at school. Similarly, Maddie looked more 'mainstream' a while back, was it high-school graduation or college when she was in the 'I'm going to be a mainstream LDS person' days. Now I can picture she and Caleb on one of those sci-fi apocalypse shows, holed up in some mountain cabin, chopping wood, eating homemade soup and fending off drama and look-at-me reality-tv-zombies that come creeping up the mountain chanting 'must have attentionnnn' (as opposed to brains)...

 These seemed like total filler and/or not real like the Mariah meeting. . Meri painting, filler. Woohoo I would rather watch Bob Ross and he has already graduated to his own planet or whatever. The let-me-borrow-your-kid when you are like 8 or 9 months along thing also felt staged. Let's make up a story about meri trying to see if they trust her, and her being vulnerable to them and they saying no and her feeling all butthurt. Come on, TLC I could make up better fake drama than that.

  Re the whole money X number of kids and whatever. It didn't really seem like they were all that unequal to me everyone living in that one place, and they wouldn't admit it but I would bet with getting food stamps and WIC for that many kids, they would be ok and probably Meri wasn't getting that, so maybe one household had to have more cash because they didn't use the stamps, though they even showed on the early show, they borrowed from each other. I would bet in that culture of plyg-life, people keep score of every little thing with everythng because everyone is always weighing whether someone else is loved more or is more 'special' because they got this and someone else didn't , even if it all sorta bleeds together in the end with who gets what.  I mean, if you're going to share your husband, better get used to sharing a whole bunch of other stuff too, I guess.

 I think that's kind of one of his very few go-to looks. Derpity Derp it's Kody the Golden Retriever!  I keep thinking one of these days he's going to get all introspective and show this new emotional range - just kidding, I know he's not.

   I don't think they can hide the personality stuff but as I mentioned, I'm starting to get a lot of the 'scripted' vibe when they don't feel like they have enough of reality show recipe item X, whether it be fake upset or fake happiness or whatever.

   I don't like the concept of people having to 'owe' each other friendship, nor do I think #4 had Meri's back from the beginning. Both of them, I think neither one of their intentions and agendas were totally out there in the open but they revealed themselves over time. I still don't think Meri did it to do anything to the others, but thought she was going to benefit someone, or at least damage control since Kody may have looked on the hunt again. Meri probably thought #4 was way more under her thumb and malleable than she really was, and likely the 'whee we're gonna be on a perm'nent honeymoon 'stuff wasn't what Meri had in mind when she half-assedly 'adopted' Robin and kids and they all had to see Kody act the fool while #4 seemed to just sit on the couch and whine 'whut bout meee, I moved fer yew..' and not really take into consideration the domino effect of what was happening with the other women. It's not just her though, they ALL kind of have this curious immaturity which is sort of simultaneously weird and sad.

 

I think it's even beyond passive-aggressive, which implies sorta nasty yet not overt stealthy bitchitude but it may even start treading into the land of people borderline abusing each other, when they know what each other's weak spots are. Like prison, the bolder in-your-face ones are going to bully and intimidate and the bullied ones will do what they can to undermine them when they aren't having to polish their boots. How horrible must it be to think, Ok this person just isn't my cup of tea, it isn't even their fault but here you are, expected to have this ready-made friendship. The dysfunctionalness with this crowd leads me to believe the deal of 'the women have to ok anyone new coming on board' is total BS.

I don't even know why they have to work on the same thing together. If you're trying to get to know someone, you sometimes just put up with whatever they like in getting to know them. Maybe one week you do something the other thinks is fun, who knows you might not even think it was horrible. Then the next week it 's your turn to pick what you do. Then you find out just by hanging out what things you will not be of the same mind on and what stuff you discover you actually do have in common, but it comes naturally, not like 'hey I'm really good at this, and I'll let you play with me..''...and maybe you find like 2-3 things you both like and you have like friend dates.. its kind of awful seeing  grown women acting out stuff we learned in grade school like making thanksgiving craft stuff out of old cans and like it's this huge deal-these two need to get to know each other better even after all these years before they can feel normal enough to hang out at each other's houses and work on projects.

Oh I would bet the original three have given up on him as a means of emotional support  whether or not they talk to him about it he seems relatively flat that way..and because none of them have that, keeping track of time spent or material things etc become that much more important. When you have real closeness with someone, you don't worry  so much about say how many times you went out or how much they spent on a gift, because you already feel cared about. They don't have to either try to prove it with these external things or use those things as a way to 'make up for' being a flake.  The borrowing the kid story didn't seem real, pretty sure that was invented/scripted or at the very least, suggested. TV people:  Hey Meri ,why don't you go over and ask if you could take Sol?  Don't always believe everything labeled 'reality' , remember it is filtered through the TV and producers and all of that.  This is why I don't invest as much in the storyline as I do in watching how people behave.

Awesome post! I move that they can that phony therapist and hire you! Who seconds that motIon? ?

[Alapaki]

So the company line is that Meri is purely a victim because the person with whom she was trying to arrange an affair turned out to be a woman.  

Ordinarily I'd presume that no one would be dumb enough to think that story would fly.  But this crew is so screwed up, who knows?

What I'm really fascinated in is whether this is TLC's decision on how to present the Catfish story, or whether it's coming from the Kody Klan?  The whole thing is just so silly.

My only twinge of sympathy for Meri is that, from the backstory they showed me this season it really doesn't seem like she ever got a chance to form a true marriage relationship before Janelle was on the scene, especially because they were living with Janelle before Kody decided to "court" her.  I do think the dynamic is different between a first wife who now is faced with having others enter the picture, and the later-wives who are entering an existing marriage.

[hnygrl]

What people don't realize when they say any wife can leave at any time, is that these are polygamous people. Meri's whole family is polygamous. Her home is (probably, more than likely) not paid for yet. If she left the compound where would she go? What would she do? She's never worked, never had to. She'd lose her whole family. Her parents and siblings would disown her.

Leave? Okay. And do what? And go where? She's got no marketable skills. She's kinda stuck.

Which was probably why she was romancing the rich guy online. As a way out. HE could take care of her and love only her.

Man, that must have ben especially devastaing when she was mentally deciding what to take when she finally escaped...

Know what? I would not put it past Kody to want to court and marry a 5th wife and want her to LIVE WITH MERI since she has the room. You watch. In a year or so, if the show's ratings start to flag (they've got like 20 kids to provide for and put through school. They've got 4, count 'em 4 mortgages to pay. They need the money from the show or they'll never make it.), If the ratings start to flag and legal wife starts getting bitchy and short because she's got 6 or 9 kids to raise with NO HELP and now NO WELFARE because she's legally married?
Kody's gonna go for wifey number 5 and want/demand/expect her to live with Meri and be confused and hurt when Meri hands him his head on a platter for even daring suggest it.

Who knows? Maybe they'll "drive her out" and give the house to newest model wifey.

I just hope when they finally get rid of Meri that she gets her own show.

She may be a huge controlling Bitch but nobody deserves the treatment she's getting.

[Madding crowd]

It's not easy to leave even if you're not in a polygamous family. Women who haven't worked in twenty years and have no money of their own have no where to go. Landlords won't rent to people with no jobs and no credit in their own name. In the case of Meri, multiple family bankruptcies would mean she has bad credit. I also think she really loves the Brown kids, and Kody would not let her see them if she left. And yes, some of the adult kids left he church. But if Kody didn't approve , they wouldn't be coming around.

On top of all that, Meri did not sleep with another man so I don't understand why everyone is saying she had an affair. She had an online flirtation but zero physical contact. I do feel sorry for her and all miserable wives.

[AZChristian]

I think Meri WOULD have slept with the "other man" if there had actually been one.  She had an emotional affair which would have gone further IF the opportunity presented itself.

Sorry, a married woman has no business sending that banana picture to a "friend."

[RazzleberryPie]

11 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I think Meri WOULD have slept with the "other man" if there had actually been one.  She had an emotional affair which would have gone further IF the opportunity presented itself.

Sorry, a married woman has no business sending that banana picture to a "friend."

Or planning trips and actually going to meet up with him, then to have him not show up. 

Edited June 10, 2016 by RazzleberryPie

[kimaken]

On ‎6‎/‎3‎/‎2016 at 2:21 PM, Madding crowd said:

The trip to Disneyland was for that LIV company that Meri shills for (she and Mariah were supposed to go), so she didn't "plan" the trip specifically to meet up with Sam. Lindsay, aka Jackie Overton, aka catfish met Meri at one of Meri's LIV parties in her home (which is probably when catfish took various pictures inside Meri's house) also came to the LIV company meeting at Disneyland. Whether "Sam" was invited specifically by Meri or if catfish had "Sam" mention he was going to be in California at that same time, we don't know--but that's how the first hookup was supposed to happen but of course, "Sam" made up excuses as to why he couldn't be there so he sent "Lindsay" instead.

That whole catfish business was stupid, but I feel for Meri's desperation to escape. Although it's easy to say, just leave, she has no skills, little education, no work history, probably miserable credit, and I'm sure her family would not accept her back since they're polygamous, too. But if Meri could find a way to get out, I'd watch a show of how she's making it after breaking free!

[Madding crowd]

Saying someone would have had an affair is not the same as saying she did have an affair. Of course it's wrong to send sexy pics to someone who is not your husband. But it's not an affair. It's also wrong for all the men out there who sent sex texts to people they meet online, and it's a clear sign something is wrong with the marriage. But it's not an affair until he shows up at their house and has sex with them. Honestly if we were all judged on something we "might have done but didn't" we would all be guilty of something. 

[AZChristian]

Sorry, Madding crowd, I just can't agree with you.  Among the million excellent articles online about "emotional affairs" is THIS ONE.  Even psychologists consider it to be a REAL THING.

[outtahere]

Meri did work and has job skills.  She has friends and connections in LV and I'm sure they would help her get a job and a place to stay.  Just look at all the cake stores and sign shops they have bought from.

I think Meri is just unsure of herself and afraid to make a life of her own.  She has been in this poly situation for so long she wouldn't know how to act without the direction of Kody.

It's a lost cause, she isn't going anywhere.

Just remember that guilt is a very strong issue to deal with and she's full of it.

[RazzleberryPie]

Meri didn't finish college because she didn't want to. She didn't have a bigger/better career because she'd rather live of someone else's income or grift around with Kody. She isn't blind by illness or small children/defendants.

many other women have started over with a lot less. She's there for the TLC money. 

She had a romantic relationship with this person while she was married to another man. that's an affair to me. 

[RazzleberryPie]

40 minutes ago, kimaken said:

The trip to Disneyland was for that LIV company that Meri shills for (she and Mariah were supposed to go), so she didn't "plan" the trip specifically to meet up with Sam. Lindsay, aka Jackie Overton, aka catfish met Meri at one of Meri's LIV parties in her home (which is probably when catfish took various pictures inside Meri's house) also came to the LIV company meeting at Disneyland. Whether "Sam" was invited specifically by Meri or if catfish had "Sam" mention he was going to be in California at that same time, we don't know--but that's how the first hookup was supposed to happen but of course, "Sam" made up excuses as to why he couldn't be there so he sent "Lindsay" instead.

 

I personally know several married people who plan business trips or conferences to coincide with opportunities to meet up with their side pieces. The side pieces are all married, too. They do this several times a year. It's an old trick so you have a few legit excuses for overnight trips and wineing and dining hotel bills.

[kimaken]

16 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Sorry, Madding crowd, I just can't agree with you.  Among the million excellent articles online about "emotional affairs" is THIS ONE.  Even psychologists consider it to be a REAL THING

Wow, so if you so much as "think" about another person, or chat online with another person, you're having an emotional affair? What about wives fantasizing about making love with their favorite handsome actor while having sex with their average-looking, beer-bellied, slobbish husbands, or husbands fantasizing about being with their favorite glamorous movie star instead of their average-looking, plump/overweight wives? Guess that's an affair, too! And casual, flirtatious banter among friends and co-workers--affair!

 

I'm glad I'm older and unattached--I'm afraid if I look at anyone or speak with anyone, even spending time on these forums--I'd be accused of haning an affair!

[Madding crowd]

An emotional affair involves a real person, usually a person you work with or see everyday. Meri was fantasizing over a person who didn't exist. I agree with Kimaken. I guess we all have had affairs then. This type of thing gives people the right to say things like: it's ok that I slept with my co-worker, you wrote a post about wishing you could sleep with George Clooney. Wishing and doing are two different things.

[AZChristian]

Neither of those links inferred that even thinking about or chatting with another person is an emotional affair.  I have many male "friends" on Facebook.  I am not having emotional affairs with them.  

Mr. AZC and I are committed to each other, and we have full openness with each other regarding passwords, etc., on our individual computers.  He can see my screen at all times, and I can see his.  We sometimes laugh while watching Catfish and other shows and say, "Do you want to look at my computer or smart phone?  It's all open."

It's the EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT and SECRECY that make it an affair.  I seriously doubt that Meri had invited Kody to look at her computer or phone.  

[kimaken]

5 minutes ago, RazzleberryPie said:

I personally know several married people who plan business trips or conferences to coincide with opportunities to meet up with their side pieces. The side pieces are all married, too. They do this several times a year. It's an old trick so you have a few legit excuses for overnight trips and wineing and dining hotel bills.

This is true--but we don't know for certain if Meri's trip to Disneyland was originally planned for the specific purpose of a hookup. I don't recall how far into the "relationship with "Sam" was before this trip came up, so I'm not ready to condemn Meri for going to Disneyland just to meet up with Sam. I would think this company meeting/shindig was planned before she "met" Sam and if she mentioned in a chat that she was going to Disneyland, maybe the catfish person is the one who "suggested/arranged' the hookup and Meri agreed. People make it sound like Meri ONLY went to Disneyland to meet with Sam.

[kimaken]

2 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

 I seriously doubt that Meri had invited Kody to look at her computer or phone.  

Why should she? Kody's rarely ever at Meri's house and probably hasn't been upstairs in a long, long time. I don't think he cares a hoot about what Meri thinks, feels, or wants--he has all that he wants and cares about. My guess is he only wants her to stick around for the TLC paycheck--if she were to leave, would the show continue on? Plus, he divorced her to marry Robin several months BEFORE she met the catfish person who then ensnared her in this mess (IIRC, the divorce was actually in Sep or Oct of 2014 and the catfish mess started in March, 2015 and ended in August, 2015 (the Alaska trip was in August, not later when we saw the episode on tv). Surely Kody was too busy honeymooning with new legal wife to care about Meri's loneliness or what her computer passwords were.

[RazzleberryPie]

Fantasizing about a celeb or even someone you know is a one way street. Just your thoughts.

Even if Catdish initiates it all, Meri continued it. This was a reciprocal relationship where they were sexting, planning a future (she said she wanted to have his babies), and emotionally attached. There was two way communication and some sort of relationship with emotions. She was hiding it al from her family, because she knew she was doing wrong, enjoyed the thrill, and wanted to one up them all when he strolled in on his white horse and rescued her. 

Edited June 10, 2016 by RazzleberryPie

[Madding crowd]

There was no one planning a future with Meri. You can't really have a connection with someone who doesn't exist. If you watch the show Catfish, Nev tells people all the time that you do not and cannot have a relationship with someone who doesn't exist. Meri could not have run off with Sam because there is no Sam. So, to me it is nothing but a fantasy created by a sick person to fool a lonely, depressed one. There was nothing real about it and the Jackie person is obviously mentally ill; I wouldn't believe a word she said.