OutDaughtered - General Discussion

[sATL]

6 minutes ago, ghoulina said:

The AAP actually recommends kids start seeing the dentist by age 1, or within 6 months of getting their first tooth. I think I started taking my kids around 2, though. So I think that's right on track. I might have done it a bit differently, though. Let the two church ladies play with 4 in the waiting room, while Danielle holds EACH individual kid for their actual exam. Exams at that age are super quick, and I think there would have been less crying if they all got their first visit to be accompanied by mommy. 

ok. things have certainly changed. I know I had trouble getting insurance to pay when my offspring was that little for the 1st time visit. which was decades ago

Edited August 9, 2017 by sATL

[SongbirdHollow]

I wasn't watching closely at all but please tell me that dentist didn't say "I'll look in her mouth while she screams" , peer in, and say "OK no cavities!" 2 seconds later. 

[camom]

I noticed that Danielle had a handicap placard on the van when they went to the party store.  Do they give those out for just having a lot of kids?  She didn't have it when she parked in the handicapped spot at the splash pad.

Maybe the quints were freaking out at the dentist because their mom was acting like it was something to  be afraid of.  "Are you nervous Riley?"  If mom acts like it's no big deal, it's much more likely they will stay calm.

I must say that the girls putting makeup on Dale and Adam was funny.  They're good sports.

Edited August 9, 2017 by camom

[sATL]

here is the dentist:  http://www.millforestdental.com/meet-dr-don-allen

while Danielle had the party places on the phone, she should have booked one of them for next year.

Edited August 9, 2017 by sATL

[AUgirl]

Quote

 why does Danielle have to do everything times 5? break it up a little

That's about the one thing she-who-shall-not-be-named did that seemed like a good idea to me. I know she did that with potty training. 

And I couldn't help but think of the hissy fit she would have had over the dumped chips on the mat with everyone running around on it and picking them up off the ground. 

I like Danielle's "anything to survive" thinking a lot of the time.

[Honey]

On 8/2/2017 at 10:46 PM, pinkelephant3 said:

Does it drive anyone else nuts the way Danielle pronounces Parker's name? Like she's going to grow up thinking her name is paw-kar. 

And Mimi says it like "Porker". I am with the person who said they don't find any of the kids cute.  Neither do I.  I realize that some people think all kids are cute.

[VioletNevermind]

*sigh*  I feel mean and insensitive for what I'm about to say, but I'll say it anyway: I'm calling bullshit on this whole "Adam has depression" storyline.  Not only does this entire show come off as being very staged from start to finish, but so does the depression storyline.  It seems to have come out of nowhere.  Season one was about adjusting to the sheer number of babies they had, with the usual zany hijinks and chaotic travel sequences.  Very standard, boilerplate TLC stuff.  I understand that the natural direction for season two would be to dig a little deeper into their routines, but this feels so contrived and exaggerated.  It's not that I don't understand depression.  I have dealt with the fun of depression each and every day since my early teenage years.  I know that paternal post-partum depression is a reality and I can't imagine the stress that poor man must be under from every conceivable angle. Just the financial stress of providing for all of those children would have me lying awake at night (without a lucrative reality show, but still).  I have to say, though, if this show turns into a constant round of Adam's therapy sessions, "opening up" to family, and Danielle worrying aloud about his mental state, I'm going to lose interest very quickly.  Again, this makes me feel like I'm being harsh, but this frothy summer show on TLC just isn't the place for his "struggle."  Call me old-fashioned (probably a fair accusation), but I think these things are best handled privately and not on your basic cable reality show about your half-dozen children.  And damn sure not in an "exclusive" to People where he talks about his platform and the responsibility he has to his fans to be open about it.  I mean, come on.  YMMV, of course!

As for the kids' nicknames, I think they're cute and create sweet personal bonds that have nothing to do with anyone outside the family.  My real name is Sandra, but my dad started calling me "Little Suzy," or better yet, "Little Tater" when I was still in diapers.  Nicknames don't always have to make sense; that's part of what makes them fun (until your fourth grade class finds out that your father calls you "Little Tater," but ANYWAY).

Edited August 10, 2017 by SuzyLee

[sATL]

9 hours ago, SuzyLee said:

 I know that paternal post-partum depression is a reality and I can't imagine the stress that poor man must be under from every conceivable angle. Just the financial stress of providing for all of those children would have me lying awake at night (without a lucrative reality show, but still).  I have to say, though, if this show turns into a constant round of Adam's therapy sessions, "opening up" to family, and Danielle worrying aloud about his mental state, I'm going to lose interest very quickly.  Again, this makes me feel like I'm being harsh, but this frothy summer show on TLC just isn't the place for his "struggle."  Call me old-fashioned (probably a fair accusation), but I think these things are best handled privately and not on your basic cable reality show about your half-dozen children.  And damn sure not in an "exclusive" to People where he talks about his platform and the responsibility he has to his fans to be open about it.  I mean, come on.  YMMV, of course!

 

I've been pro- #GetAdamTheHelpHeNeeds until he mentioned Nashville. Yes, with Skype and other means allow one to talk to a professional that is not in their office, but I had the same reaction as Danielle. And this is the same man who didn't take his baby to a specialist, that he liked, in the same state? Whoa - we really don't need to bring another city - i.e. more trips while showing more of Danielle at home trying to take are of "six kids"/storyline into this show. Part of me want someone to have a "tough love" conversation with Adam. Man, you have been blessed with six healthy children. Yeah - it's not how you saw your life played out in your late 20s/early 30s . Great - you're human like the rest of us, who have small families. But this is the hand you have been dealt and its time to quit moaning about how life coulda-shoulda been, and move forward, by figuring out a way to enjoy and get though the next 16 years. Time might go by faster and more enjoyable when he stops worrying about worrying.

Maybe something will happen next week, that would change my mind.

As far as the show, it possible that they (the Busbys & the producers) are trying to grab at "longer" storyline to keep the show relevant. Even Mimi job hunting woes couldn't play out another season. Male postpartum depression can be dragged out more than one season, as it does look like Adam is building a larger platform to speak on it. Once the little quints get potty-trained (which will probably happen off camera/season), get school age, and/or another family in the US have quints, they know their can lose their spot on TLC,GMA, People, In Touch Weekly and anyone else who have been wanting to hear their about daily trials. Once kids get to be 3-5, what major milestones can fill up 48 minutes of TV? We're already down to oral hygiene and birthdays, as the main plot-lines. Look at the Jones family from TLC "Quints Surprise" (quints are now 8 w/ big sister is now 13)- they have been reduced to a FB page/blog/website.

Edited August 10, 2017 by sATL

[winsomeone]

How long does PPD usually last? The quints are 2 now..maybe Adam will have it the rest of his life? I think he is either gay or transsexual..he is so feminine, I can see how he got it. Are the quints even his, or did they use donated  sperm like that other set of quints TLC had on in the past?

[SongbirdHollow]

37 minutes ago, winsomeone said:

How long does PPD usually last? The quints are 2 now..maybe Adam will have it the rest of his life? I think he is either gay or transsexual..he is so feminine, I can see how he got it. Are the quints even his, or did they use donated  sperm like that other set of quints TLC had on in the past?

Adam's the dad. They both had infertility issues. Adam even took Clomid for a while. Very interesting.

http://itsabuzzworld.com/the-pregnancy/infertility-journey/

[Whyyouneedaname]

dear hubby was saying about Adam "dude looks like he's got sugar in his britches" I ignore, even if I agree. Then the makeup scene "yep he's a drag queen, he's too comfortable" when he starts talking about PPD he loses it. Yes I think he's depressed but come on, PPD is hormonal, hubby says he's getting a little too in touch with his feminine side if he's having PPD, lol.

[ghoulina]

Someone posted upthread that PPD in males was actually a real thing. I hadn't heard of it before either, but after reading about it - it makes sense. I think a lot of stuff they do on this show is production-led, but I can't say the same with this. He's seemed down for awhile, to me, now. 

Also, maybe just me, but I'm not comfortable guessing as to someone's sexuality just by watching them on TV. It's not really my business anyhow. But I don't think that just because Adam is a bit "metro" that means he's secretly gay or anything. My best friend is a total "tomboy". She's never been into makeup, doesn't really do anything with her hair. She loves to hike and hates to shop. Some might call her "butch" or even speculate that she's gay. But she's been happily married to her husband for about 7 years now. I don't really want to pigeonhole men and women and say they can only act this certain way or else they're gay. 

[Eureka]

5 hours ago, SongbirdHollow said:

Adam's the dad. They both had infertility issues. Adam even took Clomid for a while. Very interesting.

http://itsabuzzworld.com/the-pregnancy/infertility-journey/

This was very interesting to read. I have always found them both to be very articulate writers (albeit some grammatical issues that drive me bananas, like "laying on the table.") It's just the manufactured drama that gets to me on the "talking heads" segments.

Edited August 11, 2017 by Eureka

[orangeiguana]

Oh, "Outdaughtered" Daddy...you do not have the luxury of "suffering from depression." You have to just deal with the lives you made. How about not worrying about how to tell your father about your depression and taking care of these kids instead? You'll be busy enough you really won't have time to navel-gaze.

[winsomeone]

Did any professional medical person diagnose Adam with PPD, or just his minister? Seems like no one has if he is going to Nashville to talk with someone who might help him. Plus he is going on talk shows to talk about something he may or may not have? I think he needs to have his thyroid checked out before self diagnosing himself with depression. I know several people who suffer from depression, and they are medicated for it and it helps them a lot. Plus they don't go around discussing their condition with strangers either.

[Latenites]

I wish Adam would work on his depression off camera. I'm kinda tired of hearing about it and find it a boring subject. It doesn't add to the show.

[Pickles]

The Nashville pastor Adam sees next week kind of looks like his clone, except with earrings. This story line is odd.

[riverblue22]

2 hours ago, Latenites said:

I wish Adam would work on his depression off camera. I'm kinda tired of hearing about it and find it a boring subject. It doesn't add to the show.

I don't think Adam likes discussing this on camera, but the producers need a story line and probably talked him into it.

[camom]

Danielle is the voice of reason, telling Adam to see a doctor and/or therapist.  Talking to a pastor is fine (in Nashville?) but first he needs a medical work up.  And I agree, I watch this for the kids, not Adam's depression.

[sATL]

Poor 6 foot Easter Bunny. Got very little love. Scared the guests you came to visit.

Edited August 16, 2017 by sATL

[sATL]

Why pick a weekend to go see the Dr?  Another producer ploy to have the main people go on a trip.

I'm all for romance but this trip borderlines a business trip more.

The girls are in school all (most of) day. Get the girls to school (or ready to go to school). sitter (s) takes over while you catch a flight. See Dr . Catch late afternoon/early evening flight back. Sitter(s) receive girls from school. Sitter(s) entertain & do evening routine until you get home.

[ghoulina]

I don't have a problem with the idea of Adam talking to this pastor. It seems like it took him a long time to even come around to the idea that he had a problem and be willing to talk to ANYONE about it. After talking to HIS pastor, he did seem to be doing a lot better. Being that his faith is important to him, I could see how talking to another Christian, who went through depression himself, might be helpful. Sometimes talk therapy is all people need. So....baby steps. 

But....I do find having to go to an entirely different state just to "talk" to someone a bit preposterous. My guess is that without the show, they'd just talk on the phone. But TLC is scraping for storylines. 

Easter Bunnies are creepy! I've always thought so. Real bunnies are teeny tiny. So to have a grown man dressed as bunny seems really freaky. I don't blame all those kids for crying. 

[winsomeone]

I think sitters do a lot of the child care in that house, except while the family is on camera. Danielle has her gym time, the new business, her selling make up, plus her talking heads. She and Adam wandered up and down the street near her home alone last night..who watched the kids then? Maybe this is why the quints are so out of control..different care givers all of the time. The way they act, bet sitters are reluctant to return a second time? I just knew Adam hadn't been diagnosed with PPD..just his pastor said he has it? Next he will have PMS...Danielle needs to give the man his balls back. Surely they don't think people are interested enough to have half of the show high light his maybe fake depression?

[Eureka]

12 minutes ago, winsomeone said:

I just knew Adam hadn't been diagnosed with PPD..just his pastor said he has it? Next he will have PMS...Danielle needs to give the man his balls back. Surely they don't think people are interested enough to have half of the show high light his maybe fake depression?

I don't think the depression itself is fake. I think they have latched onto the PPD "diagnosis" (even though as you said, the pastor is not a doctor so who knows?) because it's trendy to talk about. I still say having 6 kids 6 and under is enough for situational depression and anxiety and likely nothing to do with his hormone levels. And I do think they (producers) are milking it for every bit of media attention they're getting about it.

[Maya]

4 hours ago, winsomeone said:

I think sitters do a lot of the child care in that house, except while the family is on camera. Danielle has her gym time, the new business, her selling make up, plus her talking heads. She and Adam wandered up and down the street near her home alone last night..who watched the kids then? Maybe this is why the quints are so out of control..different care givers all of the time. The way they act, bet sitters are reluctant to return a second time? 

I assumed they must have a million sitters, judging by how nicely groomed and well-rested Danielle looks all the time!

[kokapetl]

 Swoop in and save Adam, Dr Phil!

[fountain]

I guess I feel without talking to an actual doctor Adam shouldn't be saying he has an illness like PPD.  How does Adam know if he does?  His pastor isn't a doctor.  He could have a physical condition like a thyroid or testosterone problem that seems like depression.  IDK the self- diagnosis really bothers me and the lack of wanting to see a doctor is immature and irresponsible for a parent of six.

[ssj]

Adam is gay .....and is coming to terms with it .... end of story

[ghoulina]

15 hours ago, ssj said:

Adam is gay .....and is coming to terms with it .... end of story

Until Adam says as much, as I would say that it's not the end of the story at all. 

[MoreCoffeePlease]

I enjoyed watching the girls go Easter-egg hunting.  They did do a good job and it, and kudos to the daughter who remembered to look inside the egg to get the candy.

When they showed a picture of the quints when they were 1, I think, do you see how even in the picture Hazel is looking sideways?  The poor thing. I hope her glasses are really helping.

I like how they always show someone packing a big bag of hair bows whenever they need to make a trip (it may have been Blayke).  Heaven forbid you don't have your oversize hair bows!

[winsomeone]

"When they showed a picture of the quints when they were 1, I think, do you see how even in the picture Hazel is looking sideways?  The poor thing. I hope her glasses are really helping."

I too, hope the glasses really help her..seems like her eyes water less when she has the on. The sad thing though, is her sisters still yank them right off of her face. Since no one seems able to make any of them mind, I guess poor Hazel will just have to be blind in the end, as that is the easy way out for Danielle. For starters, I wouldn't sit her next to any of her sisters in the van..a small start? At home, she may need to be in a separate area than the rest of them when no one is right with her?

[sATL]

38 minutes ago, winsomeone said:

"When they showed a picture of the quints when they were 1, I think, do you see how even in the picture Hazel is looking sideways?  The poor thing. I hope her glasses are really helping."

I too, hope the glasses really help her..seems like her eyes water less when she has the on. The sad thing though, is her sisters still yank them right off of her face. Since no one seems able to make any of them mind, I guess poor Hazel will just have to be blind in the end, as that is the easy way out for Danielle. For starters, I wouldn't sit her next to any of her sisters in the van..a small start? At home, she may need to be in a separate area than the rest of them when no one is right with her?

Dr #2 and I think Danielle said that Hazel has a astigmatism in one of her eyes. I know the thought of another surgery is unthinkable, but I thought laser eye surgery could correct, or make milder her astigmatism.

I'll can see Adam being feeling depressed. Don't forget the man lived with Mimi under his roof for months. And he probably has friends and co-workers who have a little more free time and $$ for themselves or with their significant other. I know he loves Danielle, but girl can work a nerve, at times. By telling his story, he is getting attention. maybe that will send him on a path that is not filled with gloom & doom.

[Ravello]

I don't buy the PPD story because Adam is fully functional and turns his "depression"  on and off for filming.  He is more of a glass half empty personality, a little morose at times.  It would be abnormal if he were devoid of concern about Hazel's challenges.  In our culture everyone seems to over diagnose mental health issues.  A pastor cannot diagnose anything.  

I like the family, especially Danielle who is a wonderful Mom.  She loves her kids but more importantly she likes and enjoys them.  But I worry they are exposing their kids way too much and they should pull back. I think about the lovely New Jersey family who quit TLC after a season or two.  Sextuplets and one was severely handicapped.  

I also think this should have been a thirty minute show.  There isn't enough story for a full hour.  I turned the channel as soon as the depression talk started. 

[Koalagirl]

It seems like Hazel has the biggest vocabulary out of her quint siblings.  I wonder if that's because she stayed home with Danielle while the others went to pre-school?  I don't have kids and I'm not anti-pre-school.  I'm just wondering if anyone has had experience with this.

[b2H]

My opinion on Adam using a therapist/facilitator in Nashville:

I think the initial meeting should definitely be face to face, if they can figure out all the logistics so that the impact is minimal on the children.

However, subsequent meetings should take place using Skype or some type of visual on line meeting technology.  No one has to worry about logistics and he can still get the help he needs, if and only if the Nashville contact is the best choice.  A face to face is needed to make that decision.

As far as the egg hunt is concerned, two points from my own experience with my grandkids (ages, 11, 8, 4, and 3):

First, at two years old, anything as enormous as the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus is going to scare the beejeebers out of the kids.  As Adam noted, even the older kids were a bit freaked.

Second, because of the age disparities, my daughter holds an egg hunt for the older boys, while the younger kids are still in bed (the older boys get up at 6:30a; the younger, closer to 8:30).  Then the older boys help the younger two with their egg hunt when the youngers get up.  It's hard to make the older kids wait until naps or bedtime is over and they don't have to worry about over-running the smaller kids.

[winsomeone]

Adam needs to be diagnosed by a doctor before TLC features his so called PPD. That is caused by a hormone imbalance and I doubt that talking to a minister would help? If he had regular depression, the same thing goes..it is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and medication, not talk is needed. If he feels depressed because he has allowed Danielle to totally run his life, then maybe the minister from Nashville might be able to counsel him on what he should do about it at this late date?

[camom]

I totally agree that it is irresponsible of them to do the story line on Adam's PPD if he hasn't been diagnosed as such.  

Quote

because of the age disparities, my daughter holds an egg hunt for the older boys, while the younger kids are still in bed

I had three kids and solved the problem with different colored eggs.  I dyed eggs three different colors and the kids were only allowed to find their colored eggs.  I hid them according to how easily I thought they'd find them.  Blue eggs for the youngest were just set out on the grass, yellow eggs for the middle child were more difficult to find, green eggs for the oldest were hidden quite well.  I believe this method saved me from dealing with a lot of whining and fighting.

[Dominii]

The Easter Bunny part was hilarious! When we were very young, my dad used to put on a Frankenstein mask and chase my brother and I around the house . One of my earliest memories is of us cowering under the kitchen table with that Frankenstein face hovering closer and closer as he crawled under there to get us. Good times... Later on, I realized that I kind of liked being scared. I missed it when he could no longer scare me.

This show is boring. It's filled with either screaming chaos or Adam whining about his PPD. I get enough screaming and whining in real life (and it's all from me). Unfortunately, I'll probably keep watching because my girl likes it and I like to cuddle with her on our giant couch ( :

Please, no more Adam and Mimi drama! We just want to see more of the kids NOT screaming so much. Well, maybe it would be cool if they could arm Riley with some sort of weapon, and she could go medieval on her sisters' backsides. That child is as scary as my Frankenstein Dad!

[trimthatfat]

On the one hand, I find it fascinating to hear about a man who is dealing with PPD. I think it's very interesting to hear about it happening in a non-traditional sense. On the other hand, I think this is being handled very strangely. He doesn't even have an official diagnosis? I can believe he has depression, but he needs real help. A pastor can provide great counsel, but Adam should see an actual doctor.

This is a very heavy topic for a show that is supposed to be about cute kids so I am not surprised if people are checking out.

[riverblue22]

12 hours ago, winsomeone said:

Adam needs to be diagnosed by a doctor before TLC features his so called PPD. That is caused by a hormone imbalance and I doubt that talking to a minister would help? If he had regular depression, the same thing goes..it is caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain, and medication, not talk is needed. If he feels depressed because he has allowed Danielle to totally run his life, then maybe the minister from Nashville might be able to counsel him on what he should do about it at this late date?

My coworker's husband has suffered from depression for years.  The only allowed answer has been to speak to a Christian counselor.  They are Southern Baptists, as I imagine the Busby's are.  After 30 years he still suffers from depression and occasionally visits Christian counselors, but no doctor.

[Pinke]

14 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

My coworker's husband has suffered from depression for years.  The only allowed answer has been to speak to a Christian counselor.  They are Southern Baptists, as I imagine the Busby's are.  After 30 years he still suffers from depression and occasionally visits Christian counselors, but no doctor.

Wow that's sad :|

[winsomeone]

I wonder if Adam's pastor is able to diagnose cancer too?

[camom]

I think having Adam talk to a pastor is probably a good thing.  He needs to be able to express and sort out his feelings about his stressful, unusual life.  BUT, that should be in addition to medical care.  

Please, please show -- less Adam and more quints.

[Missy Vixen]

I wasn't feeling well last week so I spent more time watching TLC than I have in probably six months. To say that I was disturbed by the incessant advertisements of Adam's "talking to his dad" about his depression is an understatement, especially the clip in which he says "Sometimes I just want to check out." THIS IS A THREAT of self-harm at the least. Anyone who didn't take it seriously is out of their minds and anyone who did not attempt to get their loved one help (in the same state and immediately, thanks) isn't taking it seriously. If anyone I loved had said anything of the kind, they'd be in the car and we'd be heading to the local hospital emergency room at the least.

Uh, TLC, this isn't entertaining, cute, funny or even something that would bring anything BUT anxiety in those who have had suicidal ideation, had a friend or loved one commit suicide or have listened to others threaten to self-harm. If TLC is so far gone that they now think broadcasting what appears to be a threat of self harm is "entertaining", they need to scrap the show.

It would also be interesting to discover exactly what Adam Busby thought having six kids under 7 would consist of before he and his wife went forward on having quintuplets.

[Former Nun]

I've seen Adam's fabulous build and muscle tone, but his face resembles that of someone who was once heavy and lost a LOT of weight.

Has there ever been a mention of Adam's weight/health?  

[Former Nun]

On 8/15/2017 at 9:41 PM, camom said:

Danielle is the voice of reason, telling Adam to see a doctor and/or therapist.  Talking to a pastor is fine (in Nashville?) but first he needs a medical work up.

Don't they live in the Houston area?  Doctors kill (hahaha) to get residencies and practices there.  Let Adam see all the pastors his faith leads him to, but he needs a PROFESSIONAL.   He's young; he probably IS overwhelmed with the idea of having to financially support this large family (alone) AND be the "good daddy" and "supportive husband" 24/7 for the foreseeable future.  Does he ever get a break...and if he thinks logically, there won't be much of a break from these responsibilities for 20+years.  TLC won't be financing them for much longer.

[b2H]

I am waiting for an admission of an affair.  That's what I take as his mentioning wanting to check out.

[tabloidlover]

I don't think he's meaning suicide nor do I think he's having an affair.  I think he simply means wanting to get away from responsibilities for a while.  Kind of like a little breather or break.  We have been shown scenes of Danielle getting breaks (not too often, but still) and when you think about it, Adam is ALWAYS on.  He's at work all day, then comes home to daddy mode.  I think he just needs that little break from time to time.  Anyone would in order to keep their sanity.  MMV

[camom]

I do think Adam makes time for trips to the gym regularly, but other than that he really doesn't seem to get a break from the responsibility.  I wonder how much help Danielle has during the day?

[Amers]

On 8/21/2017 at 8:01 AM, tabloidlover said:

I don't think he's meaning suicide nor do I think he's having an affair.  I think he simply means wanting to get away from responsibilities for a while.  Kind of like a little breather or break.  We have been shown scenes of Danielle getting breaks (not too often, but still) and when you think about it, Adam is ALWAYS on.  He's at work all day, then comes home to daddy mode.  I think he just needs that little break from time to time.  Anyone would in order to keep their sanity.  MMV

I think a lot of women make this mistake. Men, or the bread winner to be clear, do need to help at home. But they are also human too. They need to be able to have some time to themselves, to shower, read a book, just have a moment to do something for THEM. In his case, he works all day, gets his workout in while at work by the looks of it, comes home, and immediately starts helping. I'm not saying Danielle runs out the door, but I know many women who then say "I've been with the kids all day, your turn!" I don't find that fair. I personally know a few couples like this, and they are struggling. But I mean, what the other option here? They have FIVE toddlers. I can't imagine. I have 3 kids, 3 years apart, and they wear me out. lol 

Edited August 23, 2017 by Amers