Long Lost Family - General Discussion

[Jadzia]

21 hours ago, ElleMo said:

Anyway, I hope it was guilt that made her repress memories. And not something more sinister.

Me too. When she first said "repressed memories" for a minute I suspected that maybe she was raped and that is why she could not identify the father. Which would have been an awful thing for Christian to have to come to terms with. He seemed like such a such a nice man so I was grateful that he received the closure he was looking for. I wish the show would not have just dropped the story about the father though, because in the beginning they made it sound like they had some good DNA evidence which led to at least his general ancestors but then they never returned to it. There is some really interesting things currently being done with genetic genealogy and I wish this show would show more detail about how they are reconstructing family trees and building them forward to find living families. I'm in a lot of genetic genealogy Facebook groups and people are very successful at identifying birth families using DNA trees but I guess this show wants to make it seem like it is some secret technique that only they have at their fingertips.

When the grandmother was hugging the new sister and speaking to her in Spanish I had to wonder if she understood what she was saying. It would have been funny if she had said "Oh crap, I only took French in high school!"

I liked that the sister was already searching for her family. It would be cool if one day we get an episode where two different people contact the show to find their family and it turns out they are looking for each other. You'd have Chris and Lisa both showing up at the end to let them meet.

[cortnied23]

I want to know the real story regarding Christian's father. It seemed like his bio mom possibly kept in contact with him throughout the years. Maybe it was a situation where she was not allowed to date him because of his skin color, but she continued to do so in secret. I think the story she told him was just a cover up because of her family. How did she know what age he died? Did she ever marry or have other kids? There were so many questions with this story.

[Quof]

Am I the only one who found this mind-numbingly boring? 

At least Lisa has dialed back the mascara.  A bit.

[iMonrey]

Neither was the most compelling story they've ever told, that's for sure. I'm also becoming slightly jaded by the formula because too often it's clear they're not giving us pertinent information for one reason or another. Still, I find the show fascinating and there's always that one story that gets you right in the gut.

[beaunicorn]

Hi, I'm new here. I don't really have anything to add other than I'm glad the show is back on. I've been recording the reruns and I'm watching the one with Mama Ruth right now.

[Toothbrush]

On 4/9/2018 at 1:36 PM, UsernameFatigue said:

In the previews, wasn't it Chris again that they showed crying about having given up a son that the show was looking for? Sure looked like him, but I could be wrong. 

It was him, but just wonky editing, I think. 

On 4/10/2018 at 4:29 PM, Quof said:

At least Lisa has dialed back the mascara.  A bit.

And she looked so much better IMO. She has gorgeous skin. 

I feel so bad for the 19-year old Joann, but don't believe that she suddenly remembered about Robert. I feel for her that even after almost half a century, she felt the need to go along with the German boyfriend story. The pain & guilt she has lived with for all of these years was so evident, and I love that both she & Christian said that they feel a hole or a void has been filled. Chris' adopted family seem lovely, but boy he had to contend with some truly horrific behavior from others toward him as a boy. I'm so glad he was able to turn his life around. I hope he is able to connect with his biological father's family also, if for no other reason than the death of Robert at a young age. There may be some genetic issues that he needs to be made aware of, although Joann may know those details. 

Engris & Christina's grandmother said that she was not prepared to advocate for herself in family court, and I am sure it was hell trying to navigate the bureaucracy of 1980s social services without professional guidance. But except for the worst of cases, I would think that family would trump foster care, and Engris said she grew up in a loving, supportive home so the grandmother was capable of providing a stable, safe environment. I also would like to know why Engris went with the grandparents while Christina stayed with the mother, and then what happened to have Christina be removed from the mother's care. I'm glad that Christina was able to stay with the same foster family, since that seemed to be a concern of Engris'. So weird that they grew up near each other in the Bronx, then moved to within an hour of each other in FL! And both have supportive husbands, and Engris is an instant aunt to 4! When Engris told Christina that she had something for her, I had to pause my recording to get Kleenex, because I knew the something was going to be Grandma. The sisters looked so much alike.   

I agree that we are not getting enough information, and that many of the adoptees could get a lot of this information for themselves. In one episode last season, or maybe season 2, they went in-depth into how a relative was found (it was a distant cousin I believe), and as I recall index cards taped to a wall were utilized. Even showing Lisa & Chris at libraries doing research was interesting, but I guess myancestry.com wants it to appear that they do all the work for you without you having to sift through old records & be denied by adoption papers that contain more redacted information than anything usable, so sign up now! In any case, Jen Uttley is my pick for show VIP.  

[cortnied23]

I commend Robyn for being honest with her bio dad and not giving him false hope and expectations. 

[ChiCricket]

Hoo boy..someone must be cutting up a bunch of onions in my living room right now. 

  I feel really bad she didn't even want to spontaneously hug him. She must have had a really, really crappy life. But I agree, I'm glad she was honest. I do wonder what kind of relationship she has with her mother now, if any.

Edited April 16, 2018 by ChiCricket

[ElleMo]

3 minutes ago, cortnied23 said:

I commend Robyn for being honest with her bio dad and not giving him false hope and expectations. 

I feel bad for the dad. But like he said, he put himself in this position.  And Robyn has every right to decide not to have contact with.  

[Court]

On 4/9/2018 at 12:02 PM, junemeatcleaver said:

I thought her convenient amnesia had more to do with being ashamed she was involved with a Black man that Catholic guilt.  It's hard to imagine too many old time Italian families being pleased she was with and pregnant by a Black guy.  Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if the German was a guy she found so she could get married and pass the baby off as his.

She said her parents would have killed her so I agree with this. 

[Lizzing]

If Carol Sr. wasn't the woman who stopped by Carol Jr.'s house on Carole Jr.'s 2nd birthday, I really want to know who it was.  One of Carol Sr.'s sisters?  I hate how they start out with juicy tidbits and never follow up.  Another one: was Carol Sr. ever on Jr.'s mail route?  That one could have been answered without giving away any deep secrets.  Also, Carol Jr.'s biodad should have been f'in arrested.  A married 25/26 year old man picking up truant 15 year olds from the bus stop is quite sick, especially since Carol Sr. was such a petite woman---she probably looked at most 12 when she was 15.

[missnoa]

That story about the "photographer" going into the house is so freaking bizarre if it wasn't the birth mom. It's still bizarre if it's WAS the birth mom but if it wasn't, that's even crazier. It had to be someone in the family to know the kid's birth name, right? So weird. 

It's interesting that Robyn was so standoffish in the actual episode - they've done a couple of follow ups before where the adopted person didn't really maintain contact with the bio parent but usually that happens after the tearful reunion. I get the feeling Robyn would have been perfectly happy if her bio dad had never contacted her at all. It seems like people in general are more standoffish/don't maintain contact when it's the bio dad who finds them as opposed to the bio mom.

[beaunicorn]

I'm guessing that Robyn's mom never had nice things to say about her dad while she was growing up and she (Robyn) had probably written him off years ago that she didn't need him in her life and then here he comes and it throws everything she thought and felt about him out the window. I'm glad she told her dad from the beginning she may not want contact though. I think it would have been a lot harder on him had she faked it when they met and then just stopped contact with no reason.

[iMonrey]

Quote

If Carol Sr. wasn't the woman who stopped by Carol Jr.'s house on Carole Jr.'s 2nd birthday, I really want to know who it was. 

I don't think it was a true story. I think it was something Carol's adopted mother told her, maybe hoping it would make her feel good to know her birth mother cared enough for her to stop by and make sure she was in a loving, caring home. It probably didn't occur to her that it would end up making her daughter feel worse because she was under the impression all her life that her birth mother knew exactly where she was and never tried to contact her again. 

Ouch - the reunion between Jack and his daughter Robyn. Awkward! I made note of the fact that Lisa called her his "first born daughter." I take it to mean he's had other kids since then, so it was a little strange they were never mentioned or a part of the story. I wonder if he's estranged from them too. 

Have you ever noticed what nice looking houses everyone on this show seems to have? Any time Chris or Lisa show up at someone's door, it's always some upscale suburban home. You never find anyone living in a trailer or on skid row, even the ones who look like they should be. Makes me wonder if some of these homes are simply provided by the show for the sake of the story, to make the people a bit more palatable. 

Edited April 16, 2018 by iMonrey

[AZChristian]

Whenever I see a house with no personal effects and really tidy on any TV show, I assume it's an Air B&B.

[Jadzia]

7 hours ago, iMonrey said:

I don't think it was a true story. I think it was something Carol's adopted mother told her, maybe hoping it would make her feel good to know her birth mother cared enough for her to stop by and make sure she was in a loving, caring home. It probably didn't occur to her that it would end up making her daughter feel worse because she was under the impression all her life that her birth mother knew exactly where she was and never tried to contact her again. 

Ouch - the reunion between Jack and his daughter Robyn. Awkward! I made note of the fact that Lisa called her his "first born daughter." I take it to mean he's had other kids since then, so it was a little strange they were never mentioned or a part of the story. I wonder if he's estranged from them too. 

My impression was that there was probably a grain of truth to the story but that Carol's mother had been paranoid or insecure as an adopted mother - that maybe a woman did come to the door and show an unusual interest in Carol. But Carol's mom probably just got scared that maybe it was Carol's real mom and she told this story to Carol over the years and Carol probably exaggerated in her head that the woman had called her Jody.

The reunion with Robyn was so awkward. I kind of wondered why she agreed to the show. Her body language was so uncomfortable and made that scene hard to watch. It's ironic because I have always heard about people who have always wanted to find their biological father and be accepted by him and she was just the total opposite.

[riverblue22]

36 minutes ago, Jadzia said:

The reunion with Robyn was so awkward. I kind of wondered why she agreed to the show. Her body language was so uncomfortable and made that scene hard to watch. It's ironic because I have always heard about people who have always wanted to find their biological father and be accepted by him and she was just the total opposite.

I must say I felt bad for the guy.  I don't know how rotten he was in his past but he seems to be a decent guy today.  And he has a wife who loves him, fortunately.  You would think Robin would at least be interested in her father's family history.

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, iMonrey said:

I don't think it was a true story. I think it was something Carol's adopted mother told her, maybe hoping it would make her feel good to know her birth mother cared enough for her to stop by and make sure she was in a loving, caring home. It probably didn't occur to her that it would end up making her daughter feel worse because she was under the impression all her life that her birth mother knew exactly where she was and never tried to contact her again. 

I came here to post just that.  I doubt anyone came to the house.  First of all, if someone else did it that would involve a lot of knowledge that no one else had.  I also wonder if the mother did it but wouldn't admit to it for some reason.  Whatever.  It's all "water under the bridge" I suppose.

32 minutes ago, riverblue22 said:

I must say I felt bad for the guy.  I don't know how rotten he was in his past but he seems to be a decent guy today.  And he has a wife who loves him, fortunately.  You would think Robin would at least be interested in her father's family history.

I sensed a lot of baggage in Robin.  Perhaps her mother told her lies about her father out of spite or hate.  She seemed very bitter.  My own mother was bitter about her parents' divorce during the Great Depression, leaving her, her mother and her brother to live very poor while he had money.  Now I can understand that because there's some context to the story there, but there might be a whole lot of this story we weren't told that would make her attitude make sense.  Just on the surface I would think she'd have realized that he must have cared for her if he tried to get custody of her.  She seemed to latch onto the fact that he didn't protest later on to mean that he didn't care.

I noticed last season (and also in this one so far) that the show is not going out of its way to include other family members in the reunions.  Like in some cases where they find a cousin they only mention them as leading them to the mother.  Then sometimes after finding the mother they find out that there's a father out there but there's no follow up on whether they search for or find him.  And this season they're not even mentioning whether they stay in touch or not, or airing follow-up shows to let us know how the relationships are faring.  It's like they're cutting out more and more aspects of the show that are not central to the mother or father and child reunion.  Last season they left so many loose ends I thought they'd have those follow-up shows this season but we'll have to wait to see if they actually air any.

[Ina123]

16 hours ago, iMonrey said:

...

Have you ever noticed what nice looking houses everyone on this show seems to have? Any time Chris or Lisa show up at someone's door, it's always some upscale suburban home. You never find anyone living in a trailer or on skid row, even the ones who look like they should be. Makes me wonder if some of these homes are simply provided by the show for the sake of the story, to make the people a bit more palatable. 

I remember there was the one story about the (I think) 6 year old boy who was taken away from his (unfit) mother. When she was found and Lisa met with her it was at what appeared to be a diner. They didn't meet with her in a house and she looked like she had led a very hard life. I'm assuming they weren't comfortable showing her home on camera. In some cases perhaps people are living with relatives or friends who don't want their home shown.

[iMonrey]

Quote

The reunion with Robyn was so awkward. I kind of wondered why she agreed to the show. Her body language was so uncomfortable and made that scene hard to watch. It's ironic because I have always heard about people who have always wanted to find their biological father and be accepted by him and she was just the total opposite.

I'm not sure exactly what Robyn's problem was either, since she had in fact learned (prior to this show) that her father had attempted to gain custody of her. So she was already aware that a lot of what her mother had told her about her father was untrue. I suppose she's just so damaged she feels like she's better off leaving well enough alone. 

[camom]

I felt sorry for both Robyn and her father.  I think she has just built up such a wall to avoid getting hurt that she couldn't let him in.  He seemed like a decent man who tried to do what he thought was best for her at the time.  I hope they are able to build some level of relationship.

[JennyMominFL]

Re the orlando sisters from 2 weeks ago. Oveido and Winter Park are not an hour apart from each other. I live very near both of them. I'm not sure why that bugs me

Edited April 21, 2018 by JennyMominFL

[stormy]

I understand where Robyn is coming from but if it was me, I wouldn't have been on the show and wouldn't have wanted to meet my father.

[beaunicorn]

Did anyone watch tonight's episode?

I can't imagine being 48 years old and finding out I was adopted. I wonder if his bio-mom told him that his bio-dad was married when she was seeing him and got pregnant by him. 

I'm glad that Maria was able to stay clean after being paroled from prison, especially after her son died. After the episode ended I went and Googled Matthew. The one article I found related to what happened, it told a totally different story than what Maria had told Lisa.

Quoted from the (http://www.nj.com/mercer/index.ssf/2008/08/city_man_charged_in_2007_fatal.html) article, "Brunson was an alleged Bloods gang affiliate and convicted felon...".

Also, "...detectives said Brunson and Taylor (the other guy) were arguing before the shooting after drinking at a corner bar and may have known each other from the neighborhood." and "...Taylor, a convicted drug dealer..."

I also found 2 court records (https://www.courtrecords.org/people/MATTHEW+BRUNSON+NJ/) for Matthew, one was for a "possession of cds" and the other for "poss schd I II III IV". I also found his obituary (http://www.ledfordfuneralhomeinc.com/notices/Matthew-Brunson). I don't know their relation to Nicole, but Matthew had 4 other siblings. 

I can understand why they didn't mention the real shooting issue on the show, but I hope either Lisa or Maria told her off camera.

Yes, I'm nosy. 

[Ina123]

8 hours ago, beaunicorn said:

Did anyone watch tonight's episode?

I can't imagine being 48 years old and finding out I was adopted. I wonder if his bio-mom told him that his bio-dad was married when she was seeing him and got pregnant by him. 

I'm glad that Maria was able to stay clean after being paroled from prison, especially after her son died. After the episode ended I went and Googled Matthew. The one article I found related to what happened, it told a totally different story than what Maria had told Lisa.

Quoted from the (http://www.nj.com/mercer/index.ssf/2008/08/city_man_charged_in_2007_fatal.html) article, "Brunson was an alleged Bloods gang affiliate and convicted felon...".

Also, "...detectives said Brunson and Taylor (the other guy) were arguing before the shooting after drinking at a corner bar and may have known each other from the neighborhood." and "...Taylor, a convicted drug dealer..."

I also found 2 court records (https://www.courtrecords.org/people/MATTHEW+BRUNSON+NJ/) for Matthew, one was for a "possession of cds" and the other for "poss schd I II III IV". I also found his obituary (http://www.ledfordfuneralhomeinc.com/notices/Matthew-Brunson). I don't know their relation to Nicole, but Matthew had 4 other siblings. 

I can understand why they didn't mention the real shooting issue on the show, but I hope either Lisa or Maria told her off camera.

Yes, I'm nosy. 

The only thing new here is he was a convicted felon and alleged gang member. I think the mother said something like he was shot over flirtation with a girl. Isn't it possible that was what caused the confrontation? Other than that, the other is known thru public information as you've found, and the sister is going to know soon enough. I don't feel like everything has to be broached in these interviews. Geeze, just looking at Maria we all knew that Nicole got very lucky to have been adopted out of that situation. Maria did a good thing to get her adopted rather than children's services putting her into the "system".

[stormy]

Finally, two feel good stories. The endings are always iffy but I came away feeling positive about everyone.

[Mrs. Hanson]

10 hours ago, beaunicorn said:

Did anyone watch tonight's episode?

I can't imagine being 48 years old and finding out I was adopted. I wonder if his bio-mom told him that his bio-dad was married when she was seeing him and got pregnant by him. 

I'm glad that Maria was able to stay clean after being paroled from prison, especially after her son died. After the episode ended I went and Googled Matthew. The one article I found related to what happened, it told a totally different story than what Maria had told Lisa.

Quoted from the (http://www.nj.com/mercer/index.ssf/2008/08/city_man_charged_in_2007_fatal.html) article, "Brunson was an alleged Bloods gang affiliate and convicted felon...".

Also, "...detectives said Brunson and Taylor (the other guy) were arguing before the shooting after drinking at a corner bar and may have known each other from the neighborhood." and "...Taylor, a convicted drug dealer..."

I also found 2 court records (https://www.courtrecords.org/people/MATTHEW+BRUNSON+NJ/) for Matthew, one was for a "possession of cds" and the other for "poss schd I II III IV". I also found his obituary (http://www.ledfordfuneralhomeinc.com/notices/Matthew-Brunson). I don't know their relation to Nicole, but Matthew had 4 other siblings. 

I can understand why they didn't mention the real shooting issue on the show, but I hope either Lisa or Maria told her off camera.

Yes, I'm nosy. 

No, you are that nosy....I was looking for the camera to pan down and see the full name and dates.    I can see why the mom would not want to come out and say "Yeah well he was a gang member so......."  It could have been over a flirtation of a girl, it could have been more.  It probably was more but Mom did not want to get into it with a limited amount of time.  SIster will find out soon enough.  

Wow - the 48 year old finding out AFTER his parents passed.  That is just wild.  Birth mom seemed a little flat but maybe that is just her nature?  I hope her sons are okay with new big brother - my bet is yes.  

[Jadzia]

So, was I the only one that suspected that Monique/Nicole was not the daughter of Matthew, Sr.? I initially thought she was African-American and she did seem much darker-skinned than her mother and her brother. Plus they said that Matthew, Sr. never "claimed" her as his own, made me wonder that she possibly had another father. Interesting that they didn't seem to do a DNA test on her.

The other story was weird. What was the purpose of that scene with Chris and the guy going through microfilms at a library? Have they ever done that on this show before? It seemed like it was just filler, especially since they didn't find anything. They also never explained who the close male DNA match was they found - one of her grandkids? And if his wife was helping him look before why hadn't he ever done a DNA test before the show?

Did anyone else think it was sort of shitty of that aunt to tell him he was adopted? I mean, yeah, he probably had the right to know but it did really shake his world. And the fact that his parents never told him, it seemed like the aunt was just waiting for the parents to die so she could spill the beans.

Bio mom was very strange and reserved when she was found. She warmed up more during the reunion but I thought it was odd how she said she didn't remember if she ever held her son? Also, she said the bio dad was married with kids but then she happened to have a high school yearbook with his picture? That made no sense. Was he a classmate or some older married guy? Or did she just happen to find an old yearbook with him?

[iMonrey]

Quote

I can't imagine being 48 years old and finding out I was adopted. I wonder if his bio-mom told him that his bio-dad was married when she was seeing him and got pregnant by him. 

Adoptive parents never telling their kids they're adopted is probably more common than we think. There are probably a lot of parents who don't want their children to know they're adopted because they fear it will make them feel less than. But what was really strange was that his brother apparently knew all along. I can't imagine how the brother knew and he didn't. 

Quote

So, was I the only one that suspected that Monique/Nicole was not the daughter of Matthew, Sr.?

No, I wondered that too. Her birth certificate said her mother was Cuban and her father was Cuban and Ecuadoran. Neither, of course, precludes having some African ancestry, but the fact that her father never "claimed" her is suspicious. It seems like Nicole was damn lucky to get the hell out of there. I'm also not convinced her birth mother made the "choice" to put her up for adoption, I suspect that decision was made for her. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

9 hours ago, Jadzia said:

Bio mom was very strange and reserved when she was found. She warmed up more during the reunion but I thought it was odd how she said she didn't remember if she ever held her son? Also, she said the bio dad was married with kids but then she happened to have a high school yearbook with his picture? That made no sense. Was he a classmate or some older married guy? Or did she just happen to find an old yearbook with him?

I thought the same thing per having the yearbook photo of him - why would she have it?  If she was 19/20 when she was involved with him, he was married with two kids, right?  Let' say he was 26,27, how would she get a yearbook from years ahead of her?  I can only think a producer found one for her to show him, which leads me to my next item:  I am ALL for finding out who is who as long as all parties agree.  "Knock, knock - who is there?  It is me - the son you had with a 19 year old while you were married to your wife!!!"  Who is to say bio dad is still married to the woman but man.....that could be a big can of worms right there!

Per Birth Mom not remembering if she held him - I cut her some slack here.  Chances are she was told she would not feel anything, she should not feel anything, and suddenly you are feeling A LOT.  It could be a blur to her, mainly for self protection.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I thought the same thing per having the yearbook photo of him - why would she have it?  If she was 19/20 when she was involved with him, he was married with two kids, right?  Let' say he was 26,27, how would she get a yearbook from years ahead of her?  I can only think a producer found one for her to show him, which leads me to my next item:  I am ALL for finding out who is who as long as all parties agree.  "Knock, knock - who is there?  It is me - the son you had with a 19 year old while you were married to your wife!!!"  Who is to say bio dad is still married to the woman but man.....that could be a big can of worms right there!

I'm wondering how they allowed the yearbook photo to be shown on TV unless they had permission from the bio dad or they knew he was dead, which makes me wonder what isn't being told to the audience.  I'm not sure if I remember correctly but was there any mention made of the father still being alive?  The only way they would have known that is if they researched and found him.  Perhaps they did and he didn't want to meet the son or appear on TV (for obvious reasons if he's still married) but gave the bio mom the yearbook himself.

Even more of a can of worms is if someone recognizes his class photo from the show and it gets back to his wife!

This is by far not the first time I feel like there are things going on in the background that the show does not let the audience know about, nor does it follow up on in the future.  It's frustrating.

[riverblue22]

That could have been her yearbook.  She could have been in 9th grade while he was a senior, although he did get pretty busy having two children before he hooked up with her. Or maybe the yearbook belonged to an older sibling of hers, and she held on to it.  It was strange that they showed that photo on the air.

I was glad to see that Mom open up and appear happier when she met her son.  I think he will enjoy having a couple of brothers.

[iMonrey]

I have to think the birth father gave permission to use his image, otherwise he could sue them. It's strange the show tends to focus on the birth mother and glosses over the birth father a lot of the time. I understand it's probably a lot easier to find the mother because of birth records and so forth but a lot of the time, half the story remains untold.

I'd also like to formally register my complaint against the pimping of Ancestry.com. I bought a DNA kit from those bastards and they have been charging my credit card $149 for membership ever since. You get a "free" trial membership of like 60-90 days with the kit but when it's over they just start charging you. I don't think I caught it the first time but by the second time I was on the phone with both them and my credit card company calling them all sons of bitches. It's still not resolved despite written confirmation that I cancelled my membership (which I never signed up for to begin with). 

Buyer beware. 

[kelekins]

Regarding the biracial gentleman, Christian: My Mom has a friend who is white (both parents) and was adopted by an African American family. They were unable to have children and didn't care about race. This happened in the early 1960's. Seems very unusual for that time frame. However, since Christian was listed as being Caucasian they had no idea that he was biracial until he become a darker shade as he aged.  Some Italians have darker skin tones depending on what part of the region they are from. 

 

Regarding adoption: I was recently contracted on Ancestry (I had my DNA analyzed using them) by an unknown relative. I discovered that my Aunt had a child when she was 20 years old and placed her up for adoption. My Mom had no idea as they are 10 years apart and my Aunt was no longer living with her parents at the time.  My new cousin has very little information about the adoption, however it stated that this was the 2nd child my Aunt has placed up for adoption. The other child being born 2 years prior. I am not close to my Aunt and have not reached out to her regarding her daughter. I have developed a wonderful relationship with my cousin and she is coming to visit in the fall. I bring this up because there are so many secrets that remain in closets for years. I can't imagine what the adopted children have been through and I truly wish for happy endings. 

[jenifaohjenny]

On 4/23/2018 at 1:18 AM, beaunicorn said:

Did anyone watch tonight's episode?

I can't imagine being 48 years old and finding out I was adopted. I wonder if his bio-mom told him that his bio-dad was married when she was seeing him and got pregnant by him. 

I'm glad that Maria was able to stay clean after being paroled from prison, especially after her son died. After the episode ended I went and Googled Matthew. The one article I found related to what happened, it told a totally different story than what Maria had told Lisa.

Quoted from the (http://www.nj.com/mercer/index.ssf/2008/08/city_man_charged_in_2007_fatal.html) article, "Brunson was an alleged Bloods gang affiliate and convicted felon...".

Also, "...detectives said Brunson and Taylor (the other guy) were arguing before the shooting after drinking at a corner bar and may have known each other from the neighborhood." and "...Taylor, a convicted drug dealer..."

I also found 2 court records (https://www.courtrecords.org/people/MATTHEW+BRUNSON+NJ/) for Matthew, one was for a "possession of cds" and the other for "poss schd I II III IV". I also found his obituary (http://www.ledfordfuneralhomeinc.com/notices/Matthew-Brunson). I don't know their relation to Nicole, but Matthew had 4 other siblings. 

I can understand why they didn't mention the real shooting issue on the show, but I hope either Lisa or Maria told her off camera.

Yes, I'm nosy. 

Thank you for your service! I tried to find this as well.

[Angeltoes]

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But what was really strange was that his brother apparently knew all along. I can't imagine how the brother knew and he didn't

Country singer, Wynonna, had no idea that the man sho raised her was not her bio dad. However, everybody around her did, including her sister, Ashley Judd.  Ashley couldn't stand it anymore and told their mother that if she didn't tell Wynonna the truth that she (Ashley) would. Wynonna felt betrayed.  She was going to meet her bio dad but he passed away suddenly before she could.  

[ElleMo]

On 4/23/2018 at 1:17 PM, iMonrey said:

 I'm also not convinced her birth mother made the "choice" to put her up for adoption, I suspect that decision was made for her. 

She had a choice and explained it all to Nicole. She didn't have to sign over custody. But when she was jailed, Nicole would have ended up in foster care and possibly shuffled around foster homes until her mother could get out of jail and try to gain custody.  But She was worried Nicole would be placed in a foster home that was taking in kids only for the money. She also worried that nicole would be placed with a family in the ghetto and she didn't want her daughter growing up there. Wise Choice considering what happened to her son. So Nicole went to an adoptive family who wanted a child because they wanted a child not money, who lived in a better area and who had a more stable home for her. I truly believe that she thought this she considered all this. Which is why she almost gave up the baby several times. I think she was considering trying to keep her.

On 4/23/2018 at 10:50 PM, Yeah No said:

I'm wondering how they allowed the yearbook photo to be shown on TV unless they had permission from the bio dad or they knew he was dead, which makes me wonder what isn't being told to the audience.  I'm not sure if I remember correctly but was there any mention made of the father still being alive?  The only way they would have known that is if they researched and found him.  Perhaps they did and he didn't want to meet the son or appear on TV (for obvious reasons if he's still married) but gave the bio mom the yearbook himself.

Even more of a can of worms is if someone recognizes his class photo from the show and it gets back to his wife!

This is by far not the first time I feel like there are things going on in the background that the show does not let the audience know about, nor does it follow up on in the future.  It's frustrating.

I thought she said his father was deceased? Isn't that why she only had a photo of him? It's been a couple of days since I've seen the episode so I could be getting it confused with another one

[iMonrey]

It was the other story where the birth father was deceased - the Cuban/Ecuadorean guy. The yearbook guy is still alive, so far as we know. They never said one way or another.

[ElleMo]

On 4/26/2018 at 2:02 PM, iMonrey said:

It was the other story where the birth father was deceased - the Cuban/Ecuadorean guy. The yearbook guy is still alive, so far as we know. They never said one way or another.

ok.  thanks

[Galloway Cave]

On 4/26/2018 at 11:02 AM, iMonrey said:

The yearbook guy is still alive, so far as we know. They never said one way or another.

 Just picking your quote to add- they didn't show his name in the yearbook and to be honest, he looked like a generic round-faced, blond white guy from any 1965 yearbook. There are probably a couple hundred thousand guys out there today who could match that picture! I doubt any families today could say, without a doubt, that the picture matches their dad or relative.

[Angeltoes]

Unless they have the same yearbook.

[Jadzia]

So tonight's episode... I thought the woman looking for her bio dad seemed to have way too many expectations that finding her dad was going to fix everything about her life and mend her unhappy childhood. It seemed like she still needed to work through the issues she had with her mom to heal that pain. But her dad seemed nice. I was pretty shocked that he had already changed his retirement plans before he even met her. Did he ever have other children? They did not say.

[Rowan]

I live for this show on Sunday nights. The genuine emotion gets me every time. That embrace that Katie shared with her bio Mom was just so joyful. And there was such a striking resemblance in their manner and physicality. 

The other journey left me with mixed feelings. I do sometimes find myself growing anxious when there seems to be a searcher who has so much emotional investment riding on the searchee's continued existence and then their acceptance. The sheer weight of those hopes alone, man. I don't judge her, she obviously felt beaten down by it all these years, and intellectually she realized her expectations may not be terribly realistic, but it was still not as easy to watch as the other journey. He seemed like a sweetie, though. I hope they can make a go of it. 

[riverblue22]

I enjoyed both of those stories.  I thought that the daughter looked a lot like her father, and the fact that he had originally planned to move to the Philippines makes me think he doesn't have any other family.  He seemed thrilled to have grandchildren.

Katie and her mom both wore pink, white, and black to their meeting.  To me, it seemed symbolic of how similar they are.  I am hopeful that this will be a successful reunion.

[iMonrey]

I agree that Tina seems very needy and I don't like her chances of developing a good relationship with her birth father. Every so often they get someone who seems broken beyond what this show is able to fix. 

The story with Katie and Lynn was sweet but not especially compelling. So far this season, all the stories have been about children looking for their parents. For some reason it seems more interesting to me when it's a parent that has given up a child and is searching for it rather than the other way around.

I want to award bonus points to Lisa Joyner for pulling her car over to take a call on her cell phone. Nothing annoys me more than people who talk on their phone while driving.

[stormy]

A bit boring. But I felt bad for Tina that her mom changed her story after nearly 40 years and that her father seemed to have a different take on the kind of person her mom was when he knew her.

[Koalagirl]

 I agree.  None of these stories seem to be particularly compelling and I'm a very big sap about this because I was contacted through Ancestry DNA by someone who was looking for her birth family.  She got a hit with me as being a 1st or 2nd cousin.  Turns out one of my first cousins gave a daughter up for adoption 58 years ago (big family secret) and have now been reunited.  I may have posted this before.   It's an amazing story - turns out she lives 10 minutes away from her half sister and they have several friends in common.  It's an awesome story book ending.

[camom]

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it seems more interesting to me when it's a parent that has given up a child and is searching for it rather than the other way around.

I think there are a lot more adopted children looking for their parents than the other way around.  I know a couple of families that have been reunited.  In both cases the mothers who gave up their babies put themselves in a database to be found in case their child was looking for them.  But they didn't feel they had the right to interfere with the person's life by contacting them.  

I agree that the woman looking for her dad was probably expecting him to solve all of her emotional issues.  I hope they do have a good relationship.  I can't imagine what it must be like to suddenly find out that you are the parent of an adult.

[bybrandy]

I actually liked that she admitted that she'd probably put him on too high a pedestal.   It will probably still cause problems/disappointments but at least she is aware that she's putting too much on this.  And I appreciate the self awareness as that's the first step.  

Much like I liked Robyn flat out telling Jack that she couldn't guarantee that she wanted him in her life.  I felt terrible for him but she didn't give him any false hope of what their relationship would be and I appreciate that.  I do hope, though, for her sake that she doesn't decide that she does want contact after it is too late.  

[ElleMo]

22 hours ago, Jadzia said:

So tonight's episode... I thought the woman looking for her bio dad seemed to have way too many expectations that finding her dad was going to fix everything about her life and mend her unhappy childhood. It seemed like she still needed to work through the issues she had with her mom to heal that pain. But her dad seemed nice. I was pretty shocked that he had already changed his retirement plans before he even met her. Did he ever have other children? They did not say.

It's not shocking to me at all. He never knew he had a child, and finds out that he has a child and grandchildren and he wants to try to have a relationship with this person and her kids. He said the Philippine house was now his vacation home. So it's not like he completely changed his plans. He could stay there for 6 8 or 10 months out of the year if he wanted to.