S04.E06: Randy's Story

[HalcyonDays]

Episode synopsis: Randy's food addiction dissolved his marriage and keeps him from seeing his daughter, so he endures a rigorous pre-surgery diet surrounded by fast-food temptations to regain control of his life.

 

[HalcyonDays]

Just a reminder to everyone to please keep the discussion considerate and respectful, and to limit the unnecessarily body shaming and general shaming overall. Please take the time and read this brief Mod Note before posting. Thank you.

 

[b2H]

The entire family could have benefitted from joining Randy on his diet. They did him no favors by continuing to feed themselves AND the children the crappy diet that got and them into their overweight condition to begin with.

Randy would have also benefitted from some therapy to learn how to treat food and himself differently.

[Texasmom1970]

I am glad they showed the seriousness of him not only weighing too much but also losing it too quickly and the wrong way after the surgery. I think there are too many people, even those who do not have the surgery who are guilty of unhealthy habits.

 

I do not think everyone in his family should have to totally deprive themselves. That being said this would have been an excellent time for the entire family to adopt better eating regimens. Especially since many of the adults in his family were also overweight.

 

On a side note it was odd seeing him and his family at that bowling alley in Baytown, TX. My family has bowled there for about 15 years or more they live in Baytown, and I have been there many times.Due to my mothers health she no longer is able to bowl anymore though.

 

I was trying to figure out what stores his Dad owns since we live close to Hull. His little girl is a doll, I hope he continues to do well for himself and her.

Edited March 3, 2016 by Texasmom1970

[mmecorday]

I think Randy was on the right track by episode's end. I'm glad he has his daughter back in his life. She seems to be a real motivating factor in his continued success. But yeah, that whole family needs to leave the Liquid Goooooooold on the super market shelves. At least we saw this family cooking instead of ordering a lot of take-out.

[suzeecat]

I don't think I've ever seen a refrigerator that BIG, in a residential home that is.  It was impressive, and probably necessary for a family of 11. 

 

I don't understand the reason for his ex to keep his adorable daughter from him.  That seemed a little mean, IMO.  I wasn't watching carefully so I don't remember how much he lost by the end of the show, maybe 250 lbs.?  He didn't look 250 lbs. smaller, but maybe a lot of it was from his legs which were covered by pants.  I'm so glad Randy got his life back!

[poeticlicensed]

Clearly there were issues with obesity and nutrition in the family. I'm sorry would it have killed them to make a family decision to all eat healthier to support him. I'm not saying they were obligated but jeez if I need living in a house with someone whom weighed 700 lbs and was probably going to die without intervention the last thing I'd do is to eat Mac and cheese in front of that person. The family seemed like they were an intelligent group, did that not occur to them?

[operalover]

You know he had issues refusing to get infertility testing done. This is why the first wife left him, so he says. He didn't want to take the test in case he had a problem. Tests showed his first wife didn't have a problem. Since he did knock up wife #2 the infertility with the first wife was probably based on the fact that they were both overweight and so it could take longer. To refuse to get his sperm tested was just weird knowing that it would mean the end of his marriage.

I didnt understand either the whole "The bigger I got the better I got at football" unless they just used him to plow down real athletes. Football is horrible.

[tpel]

I don't understand the reason for his ex to keep his adorable daughter from him.  That seemed a little mean, IMO.

 

 

Yeah, that was a bit puzzling. But I wonder if it was simply pragmatic: the little girl looked to be about 3 at the end of the year, making her a toddler at the beginning of it. The ex-wife might have felt that Randy didn't have the physical ability to give Chloe the hands-on support and supervision she needed. True, there were other family members around who could chase the little tyke, but I could see an ex not being comfortable with that situation.

[dahling]

Obviously I don't understand the criteria for when Dr. Now puts people in the hospital pre-op to lose weight.  Because this guy's heart was about to explode and he got sent home with a spanking and explicit warning of imminent death if he didn't drop weight.  

 

Do. Not. Get. 

 

Randy was another big guy who was surprisingly mobile at his weight.  Add me to those who don't understand why he wouldn't be allowed to be part of his daughter's life unless he lost enough weight to suit his ex-wife.  He needs a better family lawyer. 

[ethalfrida]

It bothers me to see these patients eating such crappy stuff. Most it cannot be called "food" seeing as it a horrible mixture of chemicals, sugar and gmos. It is so easy to make pudding from scratch, you get more for your money and complete control over the flavor. Then we see a menu of mac and cheese plus mashed potatoes and gravy. I cringe all through these shows.  

[Ocean Chick]

I'm sure the reason(s) for keeping his daughter away from Randy and the rest of his family were more complicated than just his weight.  But it's a far easier sound bite to say that than to go into a whole mess of stuff that may involve things best not talked about on tv.  We only got his version of the reason.  Maybe his wife thought he was another Charles and that he was too big a baby to take care of another baby?  And yes, at his weight, trying to take responsibility for an active toddler would have been difficult.

 

Those were some awfully big people in that family.  Guess it's true - everything IS larger in Texas.  Hope the rest of the family comes to see that fresh fruits and vegetables won't kill you and start to make healthier choices for themselves.  It'd be nice to see Dr. Now requiring people to take nutrition classes once he accepts them for surgery, and also offer the classes to other family members.  Maybe prevent the need for some future surgeries if he did.

[Cherrio]

Once again, I see this particular patient as someone who could of lost the weight without the surgery.  He was fully capable it seems of losing a considerable amount of weight before the surgery. Why stop there is always my question?

      I realize everyone has their own opinion , but mine is that so many Americans think that surgery, a medication or some other fix is their only hope.

    I back up my opinion with the fact that its a fact that the surgery does not stop the cravings and the problems that lead to this extreme obesity in the first place.

      We saw last night that this guy almost died because he still was not eating in a healthy way or listening to the doctors instructions and the surgery had added to his medical problems.

            I realize Dr. Now is a weight loss surgeon , but I so wanted him to tell Randy that while he could have the surgery, he was so successful losing weight, it was in his best interest to continue.  Find him a good therapist, nutritionist ,trainer and cardiologist.    He is young and now he has all the added problems that come with this surgery.

                As for his daughter, I got the feeling that Randy has a very bad temper.  His I will get this candy because I can and his loud its time to eat declarations kind of seemed like clues to me.   I can understand not wanting a child around someone like that, who can also not care for the child.

              This family with their fondness of mac and cheese and a house full of grown children seems very dysfunctional to me.   I don't see Randy living on his own for too long.

[Hero]

Once again, I see this particular patient as someone who could of lost the weight without the surgery. He was fully capable it seems of losing a considerable amount of weight before the surgery. Why stop there is always my question?

I realize everyone has their own opinion , but mine is that so many Americans think that surgery, a medication or some other fix is their only hope.

I back up my opinion with the fact that its a fact that the surgery does not stop the cravings and the problems that lead to this extreme obesity in the first place.

We saw last night that this guy almost died because he still was not eating in a healthy way or listening to the doctors instructions and the surgery had added to his medical problems.

I realize Dr. Now is a weight loss surgeon , but I so wanted him to tell Randy that while he could have the surgery, he was so successful losing weight, it was in his best interest to continue. Find him a good therapist, nutritionist ,trainer and cardiologist. He is young and now he has all the added problems that come with this surgery.

As for his daughter, I got the feeling that Randy has a very bad temper. His I will get this candy because I can and his loud its time to eat declarations kind of seemed like clues to me. I can understand not wanting a child around someone like that, who can also not care for the child.

This family with their fondness of mac and cheese and a house full of grown children seems very dysfunctional to me. I don't see Randy living on his own for too long.

He lost some weight without the surgery, but I have no doubt that he probably couldn't lose 300+ lbs without it.

He was almost 700lbs and has a terrible relationship with food. He gained 15lbs in a few weeks when Dr. Now told him he needed to lose more weight.

He has a serious addiction to food, and the surgery at least helps him realize what fullness/satisfaction is. I don't think he has ever felt "full" in his life. He and the others on this show eat until they are physically sick and even beyond that. The surgery at least teaches him control and how to change his eating habits.

[Noirprncess]

Obviously I don't understand the criteria for when Dr. Now puts people in the hospital pre-op to lose weight.  Because this guy's heart was about to explode and he got sent home with a spanking and explicit warning of imminent death if he didn't drop weight.  

 

Do. Not. Get. 

 

Randy was another big guy who was surprisingly mobile at his weight.  Add me to those who don't understand why he wouldn't be allowed to be part of his daughter's life unless he lost enough weight to suit his ex-wife.  He needs a better family lawyer.

I think people get sent home IF the doctors office can't say they are in need of emergent care, AT THAT MOMENT, or if they have to go through an approval process. But given the dire situation, he tries to warn them against taking the situation lightly (and assuming all is good) while going home, hence the "you're going to die" stern speech.

I really think Randy severely undersold the reasons his relationships fell apart - his wife leaves because he wouldn't get tested for fertility (but he DESPERATELY wants kids!!!!?). But he goes to a new girlfriend and has a kid almost immediately?. The girlfriend wakes up one day and decided he was too heavy to be a dad. But she was dating a dude that was admittedly hovering around 500 lbs when she got pregnant?. Not buying it. AT ALL. He came off as lazy and lacking ambition in life with a default to doing as little to nothing at all.

I'm glad he finally decided to get it together in the end but he seemed like the kind of guy that wouldn't take care of himself AND had to fall on his head a few times to learn a lesson.

[gunderda]

I don't think I've ever seen a refrigerator that BIG, in a residential home that is.  It was impressive, and probably necessary for a family of 11. 

 

Since it looks like their family owned appliance stores they probably got that fridge for a pretty good price.  It was pretty impressive!  They had all nice appliances.  Sounded like they had multiple stores so it was a little interesting that they didn't have a nicer house and I wonder how they fit 11 people in it? 

 

I didnt understand either the whole "The bigger I got the better I got at football" unless they just used him to plow down real athletes. Football is horrible.

That was bizarre, and I dont think it was "I got better at football" it was "I got better at sports"

I kept saying uhhhh HOW!?!?  He looks ginormous in all those photos.  The only sport he MIGHT have been good at was football because he could plow people over (if he could get to them).  He would be completely terrible at any other sport because of his size at that age.  And then they said he was too heavy to be included in sports in his town. 

 

It seemed like a real shady story about why he gained weight.

[ClareWalks]

There was definitely a lot missing from his story. Him not even having visitation with his daughter before made no sense. And as a woman who has dealt with infertility with my husband, I'm sorry, I would have fuckin' KILLED my husband if he'd refused to get his sperm tested. All you have to do is jerk off into a goddamn cup. A woman being tested for all that stuff goes through way more than having an orgasm. So right there, Randy seemed like a total asshole. 

 

Agree that the whole family should have been eating healthier. Especially the sister Danielle, who kept saying she couldn't believe that he couldn't control his eating...I am not trying to be cruel, but I just was like, "oh, honey." And when they told Dr. Now that "just us three and one at home" is overweight...not so much. All of the adults and most of the kids in that house are overweight. It really just underscores that this is often a family problem, not just one guy or girl in the house.

[ethalfrida]

I have to agree that this episode had conflicting information. 

 

Gaining weight for sports is not odd. My son wanted to join the wrestling team in high school but his build was way slight. He had to increase everything he ate by a lot just to meet the minimum in the lightest weight group. What is shady about Randy, to me, is that he WAS ginormous and no one thought it was unhealthy. He was way over what he needed to be. 

[Cherrio]

He lost some weight without the surgery, but I have no doubt that he probably couldn't lose 300+ lbs without it.

He was almost 700lbs and has a terrible relationship with food. He gained 15lbs in a few weeks when Dr. Now told him he needed to lose more weight.

He has a serious addiction to food, and the surgery at least helps him realize what fullness/satisfaction is. I don't think he has ever felt "full" in his life. He and the others on this show eat until they are physically sick and even beyond that. The surgery at least teaches him control and how to change his eating habits.

He had found some control before the surgery when he went back and lost even more than he was supposed to.  At some point an addict has to find control. Most addicts of any sort are always going to want their "drug" of choice regardless of what it is.    There is no surgery for drug addicts or alcoholics , besides we have seen so many times how the surgery does absolutely nothing afterwards to stop the addiction.  Penny and Pauline are good examples. Randy too, as post surgery I saw him with mac and cheese on his plate.    So, there was no control or change really. Just smaller portions until they once again stretch out their stomachs.

[Meraji]

There was definitely a lot missing from his story. Him not even having visitation with his daughter before made no sense. And as a woman who has dealt with infertility with my husband, I'm sorry, I would have fuckin' KILLED my husband if he'd refused to get his sperm tested. All you have to do is jerk off into a goddamn cup. A woman being tested for all that stuff goes through way more than having an orgasm. So right there, Randy seemed like a total asshole. 

 

Agree that the whole family should have been eating healthier. Especially the sister Danielle, who kept saying she couldn't believe that he couldn't control his eating...I am not trying to be cruel, but I just was like, "oh, honey." And when they told Dr. Now that "just us three and one at home" is overweight...not so much. All of the adults and most of the kids in that house are overweight. It really just underscores that this is often a family problem, not just one guy or girl in the house.

 

I really don't know anything about visitation rights, but I just assumed since he wasn't married to the mother of his child then it was her say whether she let him see his daughter. I'm glad that the daughter is still little. I was worried she'd already be a preteen and have few memories of her father.

One sister and the father looked to be the only really overweight people besides Randy (to me, anyway). I thought the mother and the sister with the wine stain looked "normal". Also, I didn't see any overweight 3rd generation kids. And the young man who accompanied the dad to the emergency room seemed svelt in comparison.  I can't remember seeing any other adults.

 

I really liked this episode and family.  They were supportive and very caring.  Loved the scene where he was walking with them before some went on a run.  I hope that's the kind of support system he has all the time. I agree the family could all be eating better, healthier, whether they had weight problems or not, but it wasn't like pizza takeout everyday.  Totally cringed at the bowling alley food and that they would "let" him eat that in front of them, but I understand if they felt he needed to make those decisions on his own.

[auntjess]

I figured his girlfriend left because she didn't want to have to take care of Randy and the baby.
He did say that he moved back with his parents because he could no longer take care of himself.
He seemed to need that wake-up call.

[ClareWalks]

 

One sister and the father looked to be the only really overweight people besides Randy (to me, anyway). I thought the mother and the sister with the wine stain looked "normal". Also, I didn't see any overweight 3rd generation kids. And the young man who accompanied the dad to the emergency room seemed svelt in comparison.  I can't remember seeing any other adults.

 

 

The adults you mentioned would be considered technically overweight (going by BMI) if we're being medical about it. The older children at least appeared to be chubby to me, from what we saw. Not the toddlers so much. But yes, they definitely looked much smaller than others in the family, so I suppose it is all relative, pun intended :)

[Barb23]

Once again, I see this particular patient as someone who could of lost the weight without the surgery.  He was fully capable it seems of losing a considerable amount of weight before the surgery. Why stop there is always my question?

      I realize everyone has their own opinion , but mine is that so many Americans think that surgery, a medication or some other fix is their only hope.

    I back up my opinion with the fact that its a fact that the surgery does not stop the cravings and the problems that lead to this extreme obesity in the first place.

      We saw last night that this guy almost died because he still was not eating in a healthy way or listening to the doctors instructions and the surgery had added to his medical problems.

            I realize Dr. Now is a weight loss surgeon , but I so wanted him to tell Randy that while he could have the surgery, he was so successful losing weight, it was in his best interest to continue.  Find him a good therapist, nutritionist ,trainer and cardiologist.    He is young and now he has all the added problems that come with this surgery.

                As for his daughter, I got the feeling that Randy has a very bad temper.  His I will get this candy because I can and his loud its time to eat declarations kind of seemed like clues to me.   I can understand not wanting a child around someone like that, who can also not care for the child.

              This family with their fondness of mac and cheese and a house full of grown children seems very dysfunctional to me.   I don't see Randy living on his own for too long.

I agree with you especially the part where people think the surgery is a quick fix for things. They think they will go in to surgery weighing 500 lbs & come out weighing 200 lbs. I know the idea of the show is having the surgery, but with his enlarged heart, I would have thought Dr. Now would have had him lose more weight on his own & possibly forgoing the surgery. And then the father asking what caused Randy's enlarged heart. Doesn't he realize his weight has an affect on his organs? I'm surprised more of the candidates don't have something wrong with their organs, be it heart, kidneys or whatever. He is definitely in need of a therapist & nutritionist as is most of the family.

[flappa1016]

I was a paralegal for more than 15 years in a law firm specializing in domestic relations.  There is definitely something else that is not being disclosed that is affecting his parenting/visitation rights.  Even if the parents were never married, the father can petition the court to enter a parenting time order.  Given his size and inability to care for himself or his daughter, he could still enjoy parenting time that is supervised by either another relative that the court has approved, or by an independent court-appointed supervisor.

Edited to change language to "parenting time order", which refers to visitation, vs. "parenting order", which refers to custody issues.

Edited March 4, 2016 by flappa1016

[raiderred1]

Once again, I see this particular patient as someone who could of lost the weight without the surgery.  He was fully capable it seems of losing a considerable amount of weight before the surgery. Why stop there is always my question?

 

           

                As for his daughter, I got the feeling that Randy has a very bad temper.  His I will get this candy because I can and his loud its time to eat declarations kind of seemed like clues to me.   I can understand not wanting a child around someone like that, who can also not care for the child.

              This family with their fondness of mac and cheese and a house full of grown children seems very dysfunctional to me.   I don't see Randy living on his own for too long.

I got the same exact feeling about his temper.  Something was very scary how he snapped at his sister about the candy.  Also, I am at a complete loss as to why all those adults live at home with mom and dad. Very strange.

[ethalfrida]

Living at home with Mom and Dad is not uncommon in certain environments. Like down south. Or some places back East where whole families rent an entire building and it becomes a communal living arrangement. Or in certain cultures. Kids, cousins, aunts, uncles, distant relatives and acquaintances.

[raiderred1]

Living at home with Mom and Dad is not uncommon in certain environments. Like down south. Or some places back East where whole families rent an entire building and it becomes a communal living arrangement. Or in certain cultures. Kids, cousins, aunts, uncles, distant relatives and acquaintances.

I'm from the south and only about 3 hours north of Randy and his family and it is not common in Texas.  I was born and raised in NC Texas and have lived in every major city in the state except El Paso and this living arrangement is not common here.  It may be in the deep south but not in Texas.  There was definitely some weird vibe coming from this family.  

[QueBueno]

I'm from the south and only about 3 hours north of Randy and his family and it is not common in Texas.  I was born and raised in NC Texas and have lived in every major city in the state except El Paso and this living arrangement is not common here.  It may be in the deep south but not in Texas.  There was definitely some weird vibe coming from this family.  

I agree.  I've lived in Texas most of my life and I have never heard of this kind of living arrangement.  Of course, who knows what could go on in the woods of east Texas.  :)  (kidding)

[islandgal140]

Dr. Now's whole 'you have an enlarged weak heart, lose some weight and we'll see' bothered me immensely. Shouldn't the patient at least have been referred to a cardiologist? I'm hoping that Dr. Now is a cardiologist or his practice includes a heart specialist and he/she was consulted off-screen otherwise that just seems wrong to me. 

[stillhere1900]

What is the  skin condition on Randy's sister's face ?

Edited March 4, 2016 by stillhere1900

[non sequitur]

Dr. Now's whole 'you have an enlarged weak heart, lose some weight and we'll see' bothered me immensely. Shouldn't the patient at least have been referred to a cardiologist? I'm hoping that Dr. Now is a cardiologist or his practice includes a heart specialist and he/she was consulted off-screen otherwise that just seems wrong to me. 

Yes, especially when many others on this show have been hospitalized just to be in a controlled environment.

[Katt]

What is the  skin condition on Randy's sister's face ?

I think it's a birthmark. 

[auntjess]

I wondered if it was psorasis or dermatologic seborrhea.

[raiderred1]

I agree.  I've lived in Texas most of my life and I have never heard of this kind of living arrangement.  Of course, who knows what could go on in the woods of east Texas.  :)  (kidding)

Quebueno, thanks for the huge chuckle!  I have lived in east Texas for the past 13 years and you are spot on with the, "Who knows what could be going on in the deep woods of east Texas?"  The countryside is beautiful out here but most of the people-yikes!  I've lived all over Texas and there is no comparison to the, um, clan-like mentality out here.  I honest to god knew a guy that his dad and grandfather were the same person.  SHIVERS!  He was a very nice guy in our area but unfortunately he got mixed up in the heavy meth use in our county and they found him dead a few years ago.  

I think it's a birthmark. 

My guess would be birthmark, too.  

[Rancide]

I second that Randy needed a good family lawyer.  I get that there are many personal qualities that people might have that might make one parent reluctant to want the other parent around, but that's not a decision that one parent gets to make unilaterally without input from a judge.  I don't know too many parents who don't have flaws.  Whether the flaws are so egregious that the person's child should not be exposed to them, even under supervised conditions, is a decision for family court.  

[islandgal140]

Randy's sister has a birthmark usually referred to as a port wine stain. I think they actually have laser that can remove them now, but it isn't cheap.

[Lightning]

A  little off topic, but my daughter was born with a port wine stain (hemangioma)  covering one side of her face.   It took until she was 9 years old for the laser treatment to be available for her.     The danger with hemangioma's is that they can thicken and become cancerous.  Having them removed is considered a medical necessity and not cosmetic.   If the sister has insurance, it should be covered.  If not, it is about $900 to $1200 for the procedure.  If I was in her family, I'd make sure the funds were raised for her to have the laser treatment. 

[CarolMK]

Was it Randy, his two sisters, his parents and about 6 kids that lived in the house? Did either of the sisters have a boyfriend/husband? Maybe they are both single moms and can't afford to live on their own. I did also notice that both Randy and his one sister worked for his dad in their hardware store. Geez, talk about an extreme case of  co-dependency in the family.  It seems like Randy gained weight as a kid at his father's encouragement in order to do well in sports and he was never able to change his behavior after he grew up. 

[non sequitur]

Was it Randy, his two sisters, his parents and about 6 kids that lived in the house? Did either of the sisters have a boyfriend/husband? Maybe they are both single moms and can't afford to live on their own. I did also notice that both Randy and his one sister worked for his dad in their hardware store. Geez, talk about an extreme case of  co-dependency in the family.  It seems like Randy gained weight as a kid at his father's encouragement in order to do well in sports and he was never able to change his behavior after he grew up. 

The sister who was overweight had a fiance.  He was in the episode towards the end, when Randy had to go to the hospital.  The whole living situation was strange.  Maybe the father was trying to control all of his children.

[ethalfrida]

Information on multi-generations living together. This is from AARP and their numbers match other reports...

 

http://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-04-2013/three-generations-household-american-family.html

[Emkat]

It seems crazy but I think it's kind of awesome that the whole family lives together like this. I can FOR SURE see the bad parts BUT there are a lot of positives too.