S05.E19: Taking Chances / S05.E20: Walk Away

[Tara Ariano]

In the season finale, Farrah and Simon take their relationship to the next level; Maci is upset that she does all the work for Taylor's T-shirt business; Ryan plans a big move; and Cate learns that she has postpartum depression.

[qtpye]

Season finale proposal?

[Snarky McSnarky]

That T-shirt business must be exhausting!  Five women's styles (three sold out), nine men's styles, and two kids' styles.  The orders must be pouring in!  Maybe if she'd cut loose with some blow jobs, Taylor would pitch in.

 

Ryan's big move?  From the living room to the garage?

 

TTM Lifestyle Los Angeles -- direct from Tennessee:

 

http://www.ttmlifestyle.com/womens-wear-new-products

[FozzyBear]

That T-shirt business must be exhausting! Five women's styles (three sold out), nine men's styles, and two kids' styles. The orders must be pouring in! Maybe if she'd cut loose with some blow jobs, Taylor would pitch in.

Ryan's big move? From the living room to the garage?

TTM Lifestyle Los Angeles -- direct from Tennessee:

http://www.ttmlifestyle.com/womens-wear-new-products

I'm hoping Ryan's big move is just that he's getting his own place (most likely moving in with a girlfriend). I swear to god, if he announces he's moving out of the area and it somehow becomes Maci's fault for not reminding him enough times in a sweet enough tone of voice that he has a son I will lose my mind. Edited February 22, 2016 by FozzyBear

[FlirtMcGirt]

The only place I'd feel good about Ryan moving into is a rehab. Curious if this actually means 'move' in the 'moving house' sense. I can see him making a move to give up custody, frankly. That's about it.

No way did Farrah get proposed to and we don't know about it. Guessing they shoved Maci's engagement into the finale during last minute editing.

Edited February 19, 2016 by FlirtMcGirt

[CofCinci]

The "t-shirt business" was three dusty boxes of close-out/overstocked ugly shirts that sat in a warehouse for two years untouched. How much work can be involved? Throwing a t-shirt into a padded envelope, addressing it and taking it to the Post Office? Oh, wait, she has to fold the shirt. We all know that she doesn't like to do laundry.

Simon and Farrah take it to the next level? Could be moving in or matching chin impants knowing Farrah.

Is it really Post-Partem Depression when she she's been depressed and anxious for years? Most likely long before Carly.

[qtpye]

I'm hoping Ryan's big move is just that he's getting his own place (most likely moving in with a girlfriend). I swear to god, if he announces he's moving out of the area and it somehow becomes Maci's fault for not reminding him enough times in a sweet enough tone of voice that he has a son I will loose my mind.

 

 

Ryan has a son?  Are you talking about that cute little blonde boy he sometimes plays with at his parent's house?

[CofCinci]

Ryan has a son? Are you talking about that cute little blonde boy he sometimes plays with at his parent's house?

Isn't that little boy his baby brother?

[politichick]

LOL. Plays with is right!

[Spacecow]

Season finale time already? Can we even call this a "season"? Other than the wedding, which could have easily been its own special, nothing really happened....

[Maharincess]

I'm hoping Ryan's big move is just that he's getting his own place (most likely moving in with a girlfriend). I swear to god, if he announces he's moving out of the area and it somehow becomes Maci's fault for not reminding him enough times in a sweet enough tone of voice that he has a son I will loose my mind.

I will lose mine right along with you.

He's probably moving in with a girlfriend. Does he work? I remember previous seasons used to show him coming home from work really dirty, I don't remember what he did but he obviously had a job back then.

He just seems different to me this season. His eyes just look dead in a way that I haven't seen on him before. I hope it isn't drugs. That would be such a waste.

[DoctorWhovian]

I hate the name of the shirt business. TTM. Things that matter? What matters? Pockets? Are the shirts ethically sourced? At least then that makes sense for the name, maybe, but that should be really part of the advertising, and they should be mentioning that when they talk about it. Stupid.

[qweenB]

Ok Tyler you selfish dick. He's getting impatient with Cait's depression. How about being worried about her and asking her how you can help.SMH

[langway]

Ok Tyler you selfish dick. He's getting impatient with Cait's depression. How about being worried about her and asking her how you can help.SMH

 

Fucking RIGHT and running to his mother about it AGAIN. He is such a DuH, I can't even stand it.

 

 

Edit: And I would just like to add, that I am fucking FUMING over Matt's little tirade about Gary and Kristina. I am by no means a fan of Gary, but good grief, the things Matt said could completely be applied to himself. Fucking asshole.

Edited February 23, 2016 by langway

[Brooklynista]

I'm so glad Matt is happy about the entire family being together for Christmas...oh wait, not your family Matt?  Those folks don't exist anymore huh? ok then.

 

Farrah, Simon could give a rats ass how much you spend on your own ring.  Get the biggest one they have in the store.  He could give a shit.  Keep trying to fool the America that that man halfway likes you.

 

and finally, Taylor buys a business ( wink wink)  with no knowledge of how to run even the website?  or do inventory?  Alrighty.

 

ETA:  Why is Catelynn meeting with her "counselor" in the copy room?

Edited February 23, 2016 by Brooklynista

[Madison Bumgarner]

So Miller LIte Maci is pregnant in these scenes, but she doesn't know it. Yeah sure.

 

"Could this be the end for Farrah?"

We're ALL crossing every part of our bodies!

[langway]

Yeah, Farrah needs "privacy" but has no problems with her ass hanging out of her shorts. Okay, Debra.

[pinkelephant3]

Did Farrah really go house hunting in booty shorts and a fugly tank top? And why is sophia such a little brat she disgusts me

[corter20]

Keeping chugging that beer Maci because you are at least 15 weeks pregnant there

[missy jo]

From Part 1, already aired: Amber didn't even show an ounce of happiness when Gary said yes to the Florida trip! Either she didn't want the actual hassle of Leah, or more likely she was looking forward to getting everyone's sympathy if he said no.

[ClassyCourtHeels]

Matt and Amber in the car. What a couple of fucksticks.

And lol maci. I pay for this life. Doesn't Bentley technically do that? Maybe you should clean your own shit up and set an example for the kid.

I've been around a lot of kids. Sophia is the most unusual one I've ever seen. Geesh she's creepy as hell.

Edited February 23, 2016 by ClassyCourtHeels

[LunchBreak]

I stumbled on this show tonight without the prior knowledge that they brought everyone back for a season. Oh Farrah... That kid slapping and barking (well, barking in an overly babyish voice) does not sit well with me AT ALL, but I'm not surprised. Oh, and holy butt implants! I see Farrah is proudly sporting the Kardashian approved loaded diaper look. Blech.

[langway]

lol April should have common courtesy, Butch? Common courtesy is not beating the shit out of her...

[Brooklynista]

Do they really want me to believe Butch gives half a shit about a cake cutting for a 1 yr old? Knock it off.

If Ryan ever gets his shit together Maci is gonna be pissed she had two kids with Taylor. She always looks ready to pounce on Ryan is he gave her half an inkling she could get some D.

Edited February 23, 2016 by Brooklynista

[Madison Bumgarner]

I legitimately would like to see Maci's "tough" schedule. She always seems to have time to sit on her ass, bitch to the cameras and drink, so what else does she do? Amber "flipping houses" looks like more work than what we've seen of Maci. And Matt calling Amber's family his, is disgustingly creepy. What about your own menagerie of kids, you creepy fuck.

[Brooklynista]

Matt and Amber in the car. What a couple of fucksticks.

And lol maci. I pay for this life. Doesn't Bentley technically do that? Maybe you should clean your own shit up and set an example for the kid.

But did you see the look on Taylor's face when she said that? Yes guy, she pays for you too and the dummy knows she does.

[Spacecow]

April is looking really rough again. That bright pink hoodie was not doing her any favors. Taylor's beard looks AWFUL!!!! So dry and gross. Farrah needs to stop trying to convince us that Simon can stand to be around her. Her giant ass makes her walk like she has a full diaper. That's about all I've gotten out of these episodes since I've been fading in and out of consciousness. zzzzzzz all around.

 

Edit: One more thing. I can't stop thinking about how bad Amber's house must smell with all those damn dogs in it. I love dogs, but they smell. I know nobody is cleaning that house as that would require getting off the couch. Dog shit, hair, and drool must be everywhere. 

Edited February 23, 2016 by Spacecow

[Madison Bumgarner]

I'm trying to look Ryan and Shelby up, but no news is coming up any later than May of 2015, so I'm guessing their relationship reconciliation fell through.

 

"He's a married man with two kids. He needs to get his shit together." says the 40 year old pile of shit who dresses like a 14 year old emo, who has 8 kids and counting that he ignored, neglected and denies. That whole conversation in the car about how Gary and Kristina are such horrible people, look in the mirror, you fucking idiots! You're doing the SAME thing! I just love that a 42 year old finds joy in making fun of someone's weight. Gary, show that to the judge, and don't let that guy get anywhere NEAR your beautiful girl, that YOU raised, ALONE!

Edited February 23, 2016 by Madison Bumgarner

[ClassyCourtHeels]

Like how Gary does something nice for Amber yet she continues to shit all over him.

All farrah's house crap is all for show right? She never sold or rented her current one.

Edited February 23, 2016 by ClassyCourtHeels

[Reghan]

Farrah is just ridiculous...60,000 for a ring? An elevator really? WTF do you need an elevator for??

[LonelyTown]

Sophia sounds like a deranged psychotic chipmunk with that "baby" voice. I couldn't even understand what she's saying, except that she was ordering Simon to make her a baby brother or sister (??)

Farrah is an ungrateful brat and I can't believe her attitude and actions. And calling herself "talent"? HA! Inspector Gadget would be proud of how far she can reach. This show may be crap but it's what got her where she is today (which still isn't impressive, contrary to what she may think). She has some gall to think she holds the cards over pretty much an entire network. Wtf? I hope MTV rips her a new one. It's back to making molds of your vajayjay, Farrah.

Ryan!!! He was like, a real dad! An adult even! In another universe, he and Maci would've been cute together.

Gary and Kristina seem more mature too. I'm so glad Amber and Matt found their cat but stop being so fucking irresponsible with your pets.

Cate and Ty....zzzzZZZzzzz

[ClassyCourtHeels]

Did anyone notice Maci's baby bump when she showed Ryan Bentley's room?

[WhosThatGirl]

Is it just me or did MTV burn though these episodes quickly? The Farrah \producer drama not as good as I thought it would be.

At least we are still getting a visit from Dr.panda next week. Those are always so snark worthy.

[Madison Bumgarner]

Ohhhh Heather, you KNOW Matt didn't buy that ring. You have to make money to spend money. Amber wasn't smart with her money before, so it's enriching to see her spending so wisely these days! Money being blown on multiple engagement rings for a marriage that, if DOES happen, won't last 2 years. I hope it doesn't happen at all..

[SPLAIN]

Farrah is just ridiculous...60,000 for a ring? An elevator really? WTF do you need an elevator for??

To lug her big ass up and down?

Taylor is a "sales rep". Excuse me while I laugh at that for a moment.

I do not ever want it to be mentioned again how Ryan isn't working. Miss Check Into Lush and Taylor have no room to talk about anyone not having a legit job. All three of them have the same boss: MTV.

[Quita]

Farrah is just ridiculous...60,000 for a ring? An elevator really? WTF do you need an elevator for??

She needs an elevator so she doesn't have to haul her big ol' butt implants up the stairs.  My gosh, those things are huge!

[Madison Bumgarner]

Oh my god at the demon child screeching in her God awful baby voice to marry her Mom and give her a baby: Run Simon, RUUUUUUUUUN!

[Maire]

I can't stand Farrah but it was a bad look for the MTV producer to get into a screaming match on her front lawn. Really unprofessional.

MTV should know that if you lie down with dogs you get up with fleas. Ask Amber!

Edited February 23, 2016 by Maire

[ClassyCourtHeels]

How many damn animals does Amber have?

How nice of amber to agree to pay child support. What a sacrifice.

Edited February 23, 2016 by ClassyCourtHeels

[meisje]

I hate the name of the shirt business. TTM. Things that matter? What matters? Pockets?

 

And, right there, you gave more (hilarious) critical analysis than Maci's given to her entire life since the age of 16.  

 

I see Farrah is proudly sporting the Kardashian approved loaded diaper look. Blech.

 

Is that monstrosity what's been hiding underneath 2 seasons of flowing dresses? Good God Man! If Debra had half a brain, she would have saved herself the "My daughter doesn't need an old house..." shit and just had Farrah put her disgusting ass out of the limo window at each stop she didn't think was worthy of her. The driver looked extremely pleased to hear Sofia dress Debra down for shitting on the peons.

 

And Matt calling Amber's family his, is disgustingly creepy. What about your own menagerie of kids, you creepy fuck.

 

Amber's still running the script in her head where she found a recovered addict who's in some way superior to Gary, and she has not missed a beat with the revelation that their mutual criticism of Gary no longer carries any weight whatsoever due to the guy next to her being a shell of a fucking human/degenerate "father." And that tacky bitch pointed out with pride that she'd gotten a new and "expensive!" ring for Matt being in the "doghouse" (i.e. her house while his kids may not have houses) instead of making sure the money went for, I don't know..., raising 8 kids!

 

And lol maci. I pay for this life. Doesn't Bentley technically do that? Maybe you should clean your own shit up and set an example for the kid.

 

Taylor is such a useless, slow haircut of a human being and Maci deserves every moment she's spent, and will spend, paying for his pointless ass. Every year it seems she can't possibly make a decision with less consideration than the year before, but then she manages to buy and run a fucking t-shirt business for a guy who won't even put her name on the documents. Sets a great precedent for the prenup Taylor will insist on NOT having down the line. And will someone slap the plugs out of her lobes for attacking her kid's attempt at escaping another depressing dinner where all that would have happened is the two of them arguing and bitching at each other as they do whenever they're in the same room? How dare she punish Bentley for daring to bring the levity!  

[ivgotspirit02]

Did anyone notice Maci's baby bump when she showed Ryan Bentley's room?

Totally. I just posted that in the Maci thread. I also noticed while she was talking to her friend while on the computer she had her hands resting on her belly which just screamed "pregnancy pose" to me.

[Madison Bumgarner]

Gary and Kristina didn't speak ill about Amber or Matt this whole time, and that's all we heard from those other two clowns. What a bunch of assholes. We've seen their real side this whole season, and all I can recall about them is that they're shit talkers who sit on their asses all day and do absolutely nothing.

[Bwill3133]

Well Amber and Farrah yelling at producers makes a season finale I guess. Farrah, I couldn't help but chuckle through that whole rant you had. Cussing out producers and slamming doors and these people will still be asking her to come back next season.

Gary let you take Leah to Florida and you still talk shit about them. You were definitely planning on keeping the victim status up had he said no and that didn't happen so you didn't know what to do. Matt you are pathetic too talking about a family. You just don't mean yours because what about your bajillion kids? Amber makes me crazy when I watch. Gary clearly has his own issues but while you were in jail and even before that HE was taking care of "boo boo" not you sweetie so suck it up. And to add , in the finale montage Leah and Amber were laying in bed. Did she pick her up at bedtime?

Look at that Ryan putting in some effort to see his son. At least he's trying. Let's try to do that consistently and you might be a better dad.

[Marisagf]

Did anyone notice Maci's baby bump when she showed Ryan Bentley's room?

 

I thought I saw it when she was in the office, sitting on that dumb-looking "throne"/desk chair, and talking to her friend.

[Madison Bumgarner]

So if Amber had the custody that Gary has, it would be totally fine to ask for money, but since Gary is the primary custodian, "I shouldn't have to pay to see my kid." If you didn't want to pay for anything, DON'T HAVE KIDS.

[JayCutler]

Lol @ Farrah acting like she can afford a 2 million dollar home. I don't think banks are giving out 30 year mortgages to reality tv stars, so she'd have to come up with most of the money up front. I'm thinking she's made roughly 200k per season of teen mom, so 1.4 million there, I'll generously say she earned a million from her porn tape, and maybe she's made an extra couple million on her other reality stunts, twitter ads, etc. I doubt bankrolling her mom's plastic surgery, giving thousands of dollars away every time her kid loses a tooth, and making crappy music videos is remotely profitable for her, so I'll estimate her lifetime earnings at around 5 million dollars. No chance she has the money to put a 1.75 million dollar offer on a house. 

 

Oh and that ring scene was hilarious too. I like how Farrah had no idea what kind of ring she would want, other than it being the most expensive one for sale. Don't most women have a general idea of what kind of style they like for an engagement ring? Granted, I've only had this discussion with my sister, an ex, and my wife, but they've all had a good idea what kind of cut and setting they wanted for their rings. Man, I would kill to be the the salesperson working if Farrah ever came into my jewelry store. I'd take the most expensive ring and jack the price up an extra 40k to make her fall in love with it and take a month off of work on the commission. 

Edited February 23, 2016 by JayCutler

[Maharincess]

April is looking really rough again. That bright pink hoodie was not doing her any favors. Taylor's beard looks AWFUL!!!! So dry and gross. Farrah needs to stop trying to convince us that Simon can stand to be around her. Her giant ass makes her walk like she has a full diaper. That's about all I've gotten out of these episodes since I've been fading in and out of consciousness. zzzzzzz all around.

Edit: One more thing. I can't stop thinking about how bad Amber's house must smell with all those damn dogs in it. I love dogs, but they smell. I know nobody is cleaning that house as that would require getting off the couch. Dog shit, hair, and drool must be everywhere.

April is looking rough "again"? When did she not look rough? People kept saying how good she looked but I never saw a difference at all.

I hate when people call post partum depression "post partum".

"I think she has post partum" sounds so damn stupid.

Tyler, you're a mama's boy asshole and even though I don't like her either, Cate is way too good for you.

[Madison Bumgarner]

I hope her driving away is the last shot we ever see of Farrah on this show. GOOD RIDDANCE! And I'm especially LOLing over her thinking ANYONE will hire her in LA. We've seen her "work ethic" and her "loyalty." She's a frigid bitch, and nobody wants to work with that.

[Maharincess]

Poor Bentley, shit like him being disciplined shouldn't be shown on TV god dammit! I'm sorry but that shit pisses me off. That is the sort of thing that he will be teased about at school and that's fucked up.

Maci should have done that off camera.

I hate this show. At least on TM2 I know that there's one decent person to watch, I can't say that for this show. Each one pisses me off more than the next.

[GreatKazu]

I clearly remember Farrah saying a few seasons ago she wanted her engagement ring to come from a thrift store. Now, she won't even walk into a thrift store. Farrah hating on the rings in the jewelry store was funny only because she made those stink ass faces as if she smelled shit emitting from her own breath.