S04.E08: Dirty Thirty

[Tara Ariano]

Ariana reveals why she wants Tom Sandoval to stick around after her birthday. Meanwhile, Lisa advises the women to unite and give some payback to their boyfriends for going to Las Vegas, and the men are tempted in Sin City.

[Shelby]

Ugh. Ariana is the worst and her party totally blows.

For someone who TRIES SO HARD to be the "cool girl," she just sucks at it. She also has the figure of a 45 - 50 year old woman.

She's a bad influence on Tom Sandoval. He's gained weight and his grooming habits have gone waaaay downhill since they got together.

I don't advocate violence, but if as in all seasons past someone is going to get punched on this show, I really hope it's her.

[Sun-Bun]

Ugh. Ariana is the worst and her party totally blows.

For someone who TRIES SO HARD to be the "cool girl," she just sucks at it. She also has the figure of a 45 - 50 year old woman.

She's a bad influence on Tom Sandoval. He's gained weight and his grooming habits have gone waaaay downhill since they got together.

I don't advocate violence, but if as in all seasons past someone is going to get punched on this show, I really hope it's her.

I've never been all that enchanted by her supposed beauty---she's just another generic girl-next-door-in-LA type to me. I think her smugly aloof "cool girl" attitude makes her far less attractive than she could be though.

Boy was "Amazing Ariana" off her cool girl game today though! What an idiotic excuse of a 30th birthday party!!

A bouncy house, face-painting, sno-cones and costumes? Da'fuq?! Yeah, because a kiddie party for adults is just soooo cool and intelligent and sophisticated.

Seeing her whining and weeping in that stupid unicorn outfit to Sandovol that she didn't want him to go on his Vegas guys getaway tells me all I need to know about the REAL Ariana: she's every bit as shallow and insecure of herself and her pathetic excuse of a relationship as every other chick on this show.

And what's wrong with guys going on guys trips, ladies? If you're that upset about "letting" your man go on a trip with other dudes, you really need to reassess your relationship.

Although what's up with the nude frolicking and humping these guys do when they're goofing around together?! I'd be more concerned about the fact that my guy finds it perfectly acceptable to rub his junk and his ass on his guyfriends' faces after a few drinks, but maybe that's just me.

[MrsRafaelBarba]

So you folks saw those pigeons that flew by, pointed then laughed at Jax's baby peen?

Yes?

Right?

In my head canon, they were there.

[Shelby]

I'm from the Midwest, and truly don't mean anything offensive by this, but the hotel scene is the gayest thing I have ever personally witnessed.

What's the point of steroids and working out if you're just going to have gross stomach and face alcohol bloat, Jax?

[Petunia13]

Peters hair looks so much better.

[Shelby]

I do like Lisa V, but at a certain age you need to stop wearing sleeveless dresses.

[mbaywife123]

I think Ariana's birthday party was just perfectly age appropiate for all of the invited guests.

[ivygirl]

This stuff about these peoples' birthdays really gets out of hand. "The day after my birthday is HOLY! How dare you desecrate it!"

I don't blame the girls for being suspicious of this trip. They have good reason. But who are these women to say "no, that's not happening!"? These dudes are adults (at least numerically). Go on your own darn trip! Heck, go to Vegas and follow them around! But to try to say "no"?

I mean, just be honest. "I know what happens on these trips to Vegas. I have a hard time trusting you, but I don't want to act like I'm your mom. So, go. But if I hear you're screwing around on me, I'm out. And yeah, by the way, I'm going on my own trip. SEE ya!"

That being said... The fact that these dudes act like the girls SHOULDN'T be nervous is ridiculous too.

* * *

Scheana on opportunism: "Ariana is crying! I need my camera time!"

Tom Sandoval on going to Vegas: "I'll be there for you when the rain starts to fall. I'll be there for you like I've been there before. But DUDE! Bulldozers!!!"

Schwartz on smells: "I just spent $30 on a Voluspa candle! Not even Yankee Candle, yo! VOLUSPA!"

Katy on revisionist history: "I didn't try to stop him from going!"

Breathalyzer to Jax: "Let me watch you sweat just a little more, sweaty boy!"

Flat iron on cameo role: "Finally!"

[Ubiquitous]

Shut up, Arianna! I can understand fretting over the boys going to Vegas, given their history, but because it's the day after your birthday? Grow up!

Edited December 22, 2015 by Ubiquitous

[Budgita]

I missed Kristen. Too much adultimg from Amazing Ari for me..although I liked that scene with her and James and Lisa telling him to spit out his gum

[WhosThatGirl]

Araria is so cool you guys, her birthday had a trampoline and face painting! And that jumpy thing that's always in amusement parks that people strap into and do flips in, SHE IS SO COOL! (Bleg)

 

I cannot wait for Kristen's sit down with her next week. She needs to bring back her Taylor Swift Blank Space act and stat on this girl.

[HunterHunted]

Does anyone at this damn restaurant have a birthday that isn't during the summer? Scheana's in May. Peter, Stassi, and Amazing Ariana are in June. Jax and Sandoval are in July. I think there must be only 5 or 6 weeks during filming when there isn't some sort of birthday bacchanalia. Plus I've forgotten about pride. Pride!!!! I know that no one, except for Peter, works there, but seriously are we just giving up all pretenses.

Two of my favorite things this episode were Sandoval trying to convince Amazing Ariana that he had to go to Vegas because bulldozers. Amazing Ariana blinks. Blinks again. Bulldozers!!!! My second favorite thing was Peter introducing himself as a Chippendale dancer. That was a first season callback when they went to Vegas for Stassi's birthday and saw the Chippendales. The woman seated next to Peter was absolutely certain that Peter was either a Chippendale dancer or stripper.

I don't know what to say about Jax being a Jaxass.

I lied. I loved Schwartz's drunk face.

I super duper lied. My favorite part was Jennifer Lawrence saying no one actually has sex with James.

Edited December 22, 2015 by HunterHunted

[Misslindsey]

 

Tom Sandoval on going to Vegas: "I'll be there for you when the rain starts to fall. I'll be there for you like I've been there before. But DUDE! Bulldozers!!!"

This cracked me up. Ariana is crying and Tom is all BULLDOZERS! Hilarious!

 

Wait FI Tom forgot to bring his flat iron to Vegas? 

 

I guess I am easy, because I do not need Kristen/James/Lala drama or even Stassi drama. I could watch Schwartz and FI Tom be idiots for an hour and be way more entertained.

[fliptopbox]

I must be in the minority because I thought Ariana's party looked like fun. Friends of mine have had birthdays where they rented a bouncy house (one year it was a bouncy waterslide). Sometimes (ok a lot of times) it is fun to just not give a shit and do ridiculous things because...fun. For my next birthday (34!!) I want to go to this local ski resort and roll around in human size inflatable hamster balls. I wasn't feeling Ariana's unicorn horn thing though. That was too weird.

 

Also, next time I go to Vegas I am totally going to Dig This. I want to drive a bulldozer!!!!

 

I loved Jennifer Lawrence saying that no one has sex with James. Priceless!

Edited December 22, 2015 by fliptopbox

[WhosThatGirl]

I super duper lied. My favorite part was Jennifer Lawrence saying no one actually has sex with James.

 

Me too. And also when she told Jax she was not attracted to him but then felt bad and said, "well, drinking the drink a little" but you know she was just saying that. 

 

I highly doubt anyone besides Peter works there and Peter who as per last episode's forum topic is only working as a stepping stone -and again I say, it's been four years Peter, figure something out and step off- so yeah, it's mostly just a place where these people party. Lets also not forget Schena and Shay's wedding was in the summer and Schena's probably going to throw an anniversary party.

 

Ararina's party did look fun but she's so annoying about it.  Seriously. 

Edited December 22, 2015 by WhosThatGirl

[Misslindsey]

 

I must be in the minority because I thought Ariana's party looked like fun, friends of mine have had birthdays where they rented a bouncy house (one year it was a bouncy waterslide). Sometimes (ok a lot of times) it is fun to just not give a shit and do ridiculous things because....fun. For my next birthday (34!!) I want to go to this local ski resort and roll around in human size inflatable hamster balls.

I am in my early 30's and thought her party looked fun as well. I do love me a bounce house. I did not think the party was as epic as Ariana claimed it was. 

[yourmomiseasy]

Ariana's bitch please look when FI was like "dude, bulldozers!" made me lose my shit.  I can actually understand why she's feeling emotional and vulnerable and wants FI's dumbass to stick around (aside from the probability that he's going to trip and accidentally land with his dick in a showgirl).  Her dad died pretty recently and it sounds like birthdays are especially hard for her without him and with 30 being a milestone, it is probably even worse.

Edited December 22, 2015 by yourmomiseasy

[OhIgetit]

The look on The Hubs face when I explained to him that these guys who were just rubbing their assessment on their friend's face and are now flatironing their hair all have girlfriends....classic

[HunterHunted]

My girl Faith. I know you're not one of the main cast, but that orange blonde hair does not work. Just ask Katie.

[Petunia13]

Jax and his gf (?) in the pool kissing like George Micheal in Arrested Development season four was disgusting.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Although what's up with the nude frolicking and humping these guys do when they're goofing around together?! I'd be more concerned about the fact that my guy finds it perfectly acceptable to rub his junk and his ass on his guyfriends' faces after a few drinks, but maybe that's just me.

 

Seriously, what is up with this stuff?  Sorry, but this is NOT something straight dudes in their 30's do -- EVER.  Notice Peter was NOT involved in this bare-ass play?  Idk, maybe this is their way of indirectly saying to us, they're ALL bi & their sexuality is fluid?  That's fine, but this "gay play" between these 3 makes me kinda queasy.  Is it real or is it fake shit for the cams?  If it's fake, it's annoying as hell -- especially to gay men.  And fuck off, Satan Andy, for doing this (if it is fake).  And if it's real & these 3 are actually bi & attracted to each other, honestly, I wish they'd be more direct about it.  

 

When asked about their sexuallity, all 3 (especially Jaxie-poo) insist strenuously they're straight.  Sorry there, ladies, hate to break it to you silly queens, but none of you gals are straight.  And if that's the story these 3 are still trying to throw at us (that they're straight dudes), I sure as fuck ain't buying it (not that I ever did).

Edited December 22, 2015 by ScoobieDoobs

[ScoobieDoobs]

Peters hair looks so much better.

 

It def does, but his hair looked like crap before (to me, at least) with that boring greasy tied back ponytail.  I thought his hair still didn't look good.  He has nice hair.  All he needs is a decent haircut & he'd look great.  But his hair had an odd shape cuz his haircut sucked.

[Ubiquitous]

It def does, but his hair looked like crap before (to me, at least) with that boring greasy tied back ponytail.  I thought his hair still didn't look good.  He has nice hair.  All he needs is a decent haircut & he'd look great.  But his hair had an odd shape cuz his haircut sucked.

It's probably b/c his haircut was performed by pulling his ponytail and chopping it off at the base.

[bblancobrnx]

Seriously, what is up with this stuff? Sorry, but this is NOT something straight dudes in their 30's do -- EVER. Notice Peter was NOT involved in this bare-ass play? Idk, maybe this is their way of indirectly saying to us, they're ALL bi & their sexuality is fluid? That's fine, but this "gay play" between these 3 makes me kinda queasy. Is it real or is it fake shit for the cams? If it's fake, it's annoying as hell -- especially to gay men. And fuck off, Satan Andy, for doing this (if it is fake) And if it's real & these 3 are actually bi & attracted to each other, honestly, I wish they'd be more direct about it.

When asked about their sexuallity, all 3 (especially Jaxie-poo) insist strenuously they're straight. Sorry there, ladies, hate to break it to you silly queens, but none of you gals are straight. And if that's the story these 3 are still trying to throw at us (that they're straight dudes), I sure as fuck ain't buying it (not that I ever did).

This right here. When I was 30 I had loads of friends who were also straight and led a pretty debaucherous lifestyle not too far from what these jackasses do, and no one, and I mean no one ever engaged in those kind of antics. It is not something I have ever heard of. Maybe LA is much more progressive than CT? Or maybe they are all bi

[BogoGog24]

LOL at the scene of Ariana crying over her dead father and saying she needed Tom to be there for emotional support and he's all "But... BULLDOZERS!" What an ass! You could see how pissed she really was about that. I think the TH where she described her dad's annual tradition of calling her on her birthday was one of the rare times we saw the real, vulnerable Ariana. So sad.

Her party didn't look quite as lame as I expected. Most of it looked pretty fun. By the way, anyone catch the clear shot of Shay downing a shot?

Scheana is a moron. Shay has alcohol problems yet she still keeps it in the house? She fills these giant wine glasses to the brim? I loved the cameras getting all the shots of her numerous wedding photos, like they're in on the joke with us of how ridiculous it looks.

Lala was so childish when they were talking about Ariana's party. First of all, somebody (Scheana?) said they don't know each other that well. Why would she invite her? Second, it's her party. She can invite whoever she wants. It's not very cool to talk about events in front of someone who wasn't invited but I think she'd have looked better and more "above it all" if she just walked away, like the party was so unimportant and insignificant to her that she didn't need to stick around to hear details. Sitting there going "Well IIIIII wasn't invited!!!!!" looks childish.

I agree there's something off about the guys, and I think the girls too. Straight people with girl/boyfriends don't make out or rub ass with each other, no matter how drunk they are. I suspect they all might be bi.

Do grown men really like the idea of riding a bulldozer? I could see a 10 year old boy thinking it's the best thing ever, but grown men? Well these guys still have the mentality and maturity of 10 year olds, so I guess it makes sense.

I agree the scenes of the Toms asking for permission to go on the trip looked pathetic, like little boys asking mom if they could play. They're not even married yet, they can pretty much do and go where they want at this point. Although at the same time both of them did questionable things on past trips plus Ariana had a valid reason for wanting Tom to stay. I'm assuming they were contractually obligated to go for the show, unless an emergency came up, there was probably no way they could get out of it anyway.

[ghoulina]

Okay, prepare my handbasket, because I'm just going to come right out and say it - I think Ariana totally played the "dead daddy" card. I'm not saying her father being gone doesn't really hurt, especially around big milestones. But I think this was a Hail Mary. Yes, I know Ariana doesn't like to talk about feelings, because she's so AMAZING like that. But she has also repeatedly said that she and Tom are best friends and talk about everything. So I could only assume if it bothered her all that much, Tom would already know. I'm sure she gets a bit sad, but I don't think that was the real reason she didn't want him to go. It was just a desperate last attempt at making him stay. 

 

Still it was hilarious to see her crying, "My dad is dead!" and Tom replies, "But there's dump trucks!" Hahahaha, such a 5-year-old. Never change, Sandoval, never change. 

 

Overall, I just thought it was ridiculous the way the women were acting about the boys going to Vegas. I don't see what's so wrong about a guys trip or a girls trip. And the big thing here, that I feel like everyone was overlooking was - Peter's Birthday! HE wanted to go to Vegas. That's what he wanted to do. No one poo-poo'd on Ariana's birthday plans. She got exactly what she wanted. But now Tom has the audacity to want to celebrate his friend's birthday "The day AFTER mine". What, is she the new Stassi? Is her birthday to be commemorated for an entire week? It's not like Peter can help when he was born! 

 

Truth is, they're all worried their dudes are going to cheat. So let's get real. If your dude has a wander eye, it doesn't matter if he's in Vegas or at the IHOP down the road. They know who they're dating, so either deal with it, or get out. 

 

I didn't really pay much attention to the subsequent guy and girl outings. I sat and read the entire time the boys were in Vegas, because I didn't want to accidentally see an errant ass or penis. I was listening, though, so I got to find out that Katie and Schwartz's apartment basically smells like farts masked by 30 candles. 

 

I am glad the girls eventually invited Lala over. Not that I love her or anything, but I hate when people feel left out. That scene at the table with Lisa was SO awkward. Ariana is all, "I totally don't want to make you feel bad".....but here, let me stick my arm in your face as I show Lisa a video of just how much fun we were having! 

 

I'm only pissed at the ladies for validating Jax's belief about what goes on at female slumber parties. 

 

But let's be clear - Shay was the real winner in all this. He got to escape the chance of a dude's sweaty ass being pushed up on his face and watch hot girls make out instead. You go, Shay!

 

So next week is Sandoval's birthday and it promises to include more drama than any of the birthday's so far this season! All I can say is, I hope Ariana has some money left over after her blowout to buy Tom some new shirts. I'd hate to see him running around in any more with holes in them, or that awful one in Vegas that looked like a disease under a microscope. 

[Momof2boyz]

I felt bad for Lala not being invited to the party.  It sucks to be left out.  I remember years ago I worked with a bunch of girls.  I was friendly enough with everyone but since I was married with kids I didn't hang out after work and they did, so I guess they were closer to each other.  Whatever.  I didn't think anything of it but then one of the girls got engaged and she had an engagement party and literally invited EVERYONE at work except for me.  To make matters worse, the party was on a Saturday which was normally my day off (it was a retail environment) and she switched this one girl's schedule with mine (she was the supervisor) so that this girl could come to the party while I would have to work.  Nobody even bothered to ask or even tell me and I didn't even know I was working that day or that the schedule was changed until the day before. Then while I am all alone at work that day I find out that everyone else is at the party.  I was really hurt and never forgot that.

[ghoulina]

This stuff about these peoples' birthdays really gets out of hand. "The day after my birthday is HOLY! How dare you desecrate it!"

 

These people really take birthdays seriously. A nice dinner just won't do. You must have sumo wrestlers and people flying in from out of state, or you must go somewhere, preferably another country. And all this time I've just been leaving the kids with hubby so I can go get my hair done and have lunch with my mom. I'm really going to step up my game this year! And he better not even THINK about going into work the day after my birthday, I don't care if it IS a Monday. 

 

Flat iron on cameo role: "Finally!"

 

Yes! The Flat Iron was back! All I needed was for Tom to shave his forehead and I could have died last night with no regrets. 

 

It def does, but his hair looked like crap before (to me, at least) with that boring greasy tied back ponytail.  I thought his hair still didn't look good.  He has nice hair.  All he needs is a decent haircut & he'd look great.  But his hair had an odd shape cuz his haircut sucked.

 

I did not like the ponytail, but I don't like the new haircut either. At all. I don't know what he needs to do, but it needs to be something else. 

[Shelby]

I really hope this is the one and only non-Kristen episode this show ever tries to get away with.

[Duke2801]

OK yes, Ariana was being far too twee about her adult kiddie birthday party, and the whole "sacred day-AFTER birthday day thing was completely eye-roll inducing. 

 

BUT. I did sympathize and empathize with her about missing her dad on holidays and milestones.  I lost my own dad around her age, and it is hard and sad. I may or may not (I'm not admitting anything, OK?!) have actually teared up when she was talking about how her dad would call her up on her b-day and tell her how her birth was the best day of his life b/c my dad used to do something similar.  I could be wrong, but I did not think she was playing the "dead parent" card for drama and sympathy --- and believe me I was one of the first to call out Vicki G on RHoOC for doing that exact thing this past season!  Ariana's emotions rang true to me.

 

BUT.  As you guys have pointed out, I did honest-to-goodness laugh out loud at Tom's earnest "I'm not going anywhere" speech, only to follow it up with .... "but...but DUMPTRUCKS!!!"  Comedy. Gold.

 

I was so rolling my eyes at the girls sleepover/makeout party.  How lame and cliché.  I mean, is it really that bad to spend a night or 2 alone on your own, just chilling out with some wine, pizza, and Netflix?  And WHY are so many scenes taking place in Scheanna's horrible, tiny, tacky apartment this season?  Somebody has got to have a better place than that. I did LOL at her GIANT wine glass though.  Me likey (and want-y!)

 

Jax continues to be gross, sweaty, and... did I say gross?  Well, it needs to be said more than once.  Ick.

Edited December 22, 2015 by Duke2801

[Duke2801]

Shelby, on 21 Dec 2015 - 10:04 PM, said:

I do like Lisa V, but at a certain age you need to stop wearing sleeveless dresses.

 

Michelle Obama disagrees.  And so do I. 

 

It's true that Lisa doesn't look fabulous in sleeveless dresses, but that is because she doesn't appear to work out and has very little muscle tone. But whether one wears or doesn't wear sleeveless outfits shouldn't have anything to do with age. I could rattle off a dozen people who are 50+ who look amazing baring their arms.

[ghoulina]

I was so rolling my eyes at the girls sleepover/makeout party.  How lame and cliché.  I mean, is it really that bad to spend a night or 2 alone on your own, just chilling out with some wine, pizza, and Netflix?

 

I may be crazy, but if my husband has to go out of town for work, I get all excited about putting the kids to bed early and having the remote all to myself! LOL

[TattleTeeny]

For someone who TRIES SO HARD to be the "cool girl," she just sucks at it. She also has the figure of a 45 - 50 year old woman.

 

She's a bad influence on Tom Sandoval. He's gained weight and his grooming habits have gone waaaay downhill since they got together.

 

This is just...what...? What about her body looks that much different than anyone else's on the show (and, more important, what is the "figure" of a 45-to-50-year-old woman supposed to look like? I'll be 45 in a few weeks; I'd love to know if I'm doing it "right"). And not that I have noticed a difference in her Tom's appearance at all but, if there is, how on earth are we to assume it's Ariana's doing? Is Tom not the boss of his own self? Who says he didn't want to gain weight (that is, if he even has)? 

[Slider]

If you want to be taken seriously, you should probably leave the unicorn horn off your face.  That's not even mentioning the pink tutu and pig tails and the way you act like a general idiot.

[Duke2801]

TattleTeeny, on 22 Dec 2015 - 09:51 AM, said:TattleTeeny, on 22 Dec 2015 - 09:51 AM, said:

This is just...what...? What about her body looks that much different than anyone else's on the show (and, more important, what is the "figure" of a 45-to-50-year-old woman supposed to look like? I'll be 45 in a few weeks; I'd love to know if I'm doing it "right"). And not that I have noticed a difference in her Tom's appearance at all but, if there is, how on earth are we to assume it's Ariana's doing? Is Tom not the boss of his own self? Who says he didn't want to gain weight (that is, if he even has)? 

 

LOL thank you. First off, Ariana has a tiny, cute figure that doesn't look remotely like what I assume the OP assumes a "middle aged" body is supposed to look like (pot belly, etc?)

 

And second of all, the stereotyping is just wrong. I know some really HOT 45-50 year olds with killer bodies.   

 

And in that shot they showed of Tom Sandovahl with his shirt off last night, he looked just as thin and toned as he always did? 

Edited December 22, 2015 by Duke2801

[Momof2boyz]

This is just...what...? What about her body looks that much different than anyone else's on the show (and, more important, what is the "figure" of a 45-to-50-year-old woman supposed to look like? I'll be 45 in a few weeks; I'd love to know if I'm doing it "right"). And not that I have noticed a difference in her Tom's appearance at all but, if there is, how on earth are we to assume it's Ariana's doing? Is Tom not the boss of his own self? Who says he didn't want to gain weight (that is, if he even has)? 

 

 

Michelle Obama disagrees.  And so do I. 

 

It's true that Lisa doesn't look fabulous in sleeveless dresses, but that is because she doesn't appear to work out and has very little muscle tone. But whether one wears or doesn't wear sleeveless outfits shouldn't have anything to do with age. I could rattle off a dozen people who are 50+ who look amazing baring their arms.

 

 

LOL thank you. First off, Ariana has a tiny, cute figure that doesn't look remotely like what I assume the OP assumes a "middle aged" body is supposed to look like (pot belly, etc?)

 

And second of all, the stereotyping is just wrong. I know some really HOT 45-50 year olds with killer bodies.   

 

And in that shot they showed of Tom Sandovahl with his shirt off last night, he looked just as thin and toned as he always did? 

YES TO ALL THIS!  As a just turned 50 year old (who looks 40) I can tell you I STILL have a smoking hot body!  And I look great in sleeveless dresses.  Honestly, I get it.  When I was in my 20's I thought anyone over 30 was totally over the hill too, but it's just not true!

Edited December 22, 2015 by Momof2boyz

[ivygirl]

I was not bothered by the fact that Lala wasn't invited to Ariana's party. Ariana can invite whoever she wants. it didn't appear to be a party with hundreds of her "closest" friends. Even though over the top in terms of the activities, it was kind of low key in the sense that it was a backyard party and basically her closer friends were there.

However I think it's the height of rudeness to talk about an event in front of people who weren't invited or included. Lisa egged that conversation on for drama, no question.

[TattleTeeny]

I do like Lisa V, but at a certain age you need to stop wearing sleeveless dresses.

 

Gross. Silly me; I thought that, at a "certain age," you do whatever the hell you want because you're an adult with free will. Screw judgmental and sexist ageism, man. My mid-40s self is going to wear sleeveless things whenever I like (though not in this godforsaken office that is, at best, 65 degrees--WTF, it is December, people! Come on now!); I apologize in advance to everyone younger who will be forced to shield their delicate eyes from [GASP!] not just an arm, but a heavily tattooed arm on a [DOUBLE-GASP!] middle-aged woman (who is, incidentally, in good shape). I'll be sure to carry smelling salts along with the dusty butterscotches and crumpled tissues in my old-lady purse (which is, I'll admit, hundreds and hundreds of dollars cheaper than any of Lisa's).

 

Also, I would have a similar party...if I didn't have a winter birthday and live in North Jersey. Can I declare a summer birthday from now on? As it is, I think I'll set up a Dive-Bar Dance Party for my next one...if I can drag my appropriately sleeve-covered self out of the old-folks' home and into the hipbone-ache-inducing cold night.

 

Whether you're 25 or, god forbid, 50, life is too short to wear shit you don't like. I feel sorry for anyone who thinks, "I'm too old for that dress." And in the interest of not being all judgy about other people's clothes and ages, I'll say that if you truly love modest pearls and a beige twinset, by all means have at it and look awesome doing it. Your choice...just as ripped jeans, biker boots, and old band Ts are mine.

Edited December 22, 2015 by TattleTeeny

[Primetimer]

This week Ariana gets the gift that keeps on giving for her birthday (daddy issues), while everyone else gets blue balls!

Read the story

[kelseykixx]

Does Tom Schwartz creep anyone else out? He's so meek and the way he speaks weird me out - all quietly and without a backbone. Don't like him. 

[TattleTeeny]

No, but his face reminds me of Toby on Pretty Little Liars.

[Ubiquitous]

On the one hand, I can see why the girls were apprehensive about the guys going to Vegas, but it was for Peter's birthday and they attended yours, so quit bitchin'. I rolled my eyes a bit in reaction to Arianna's dead Dad story. The first year after Mom died was bad, but by the second year, I had pretty much gotten over it so I wondered if she was overacting or trying to guilt Tom into not going.

Speaking of which, why did I get the feeling the breathalyzer test at Diggem was for show, much like the time Bart got a tattoo at the mall? I would imagine a LOT of people show up who had been drinking, to the point that no one could work their machines.

I found Peter claiming to be a Chippendale dancer amusing. I remember them seeing the show for Stassi's festivities and someone thinking he was one of them. Or maybe a male stripper.

[kacesq]

I can't help it, I love this silly silly show and these silly silly people. It brings me back to my youth when I thought everything was high drama and so! serious!

 

I've never liked Ariana so I LOLd and her "epic" birthday party. I guess I expected something more...epic.  What I also enjoyed in this episode was the "WTF?" look on Peter's girlfriend's face when Katie was telling her how "disrespectful" it was to her relationship that Peter dared ask his friends to go to Vegas for his birthday.  I sincerely hate the use of "disrespectful" being applied to anything someone doesn't like and in this case, Peter can ask his friends to do something on his birthday especially as it seems they've always done these types of trips. It's not "disrespectful" Katie.  And God, Katie, Ariana - can you really NOT handle a few days without your menfolk?  All that whining before the trip.

But you know...bulldozers!

[TattleTeeny]

I can't help it, I love this silly silly show and these silly silly people. It brings me back to my youth when I thought everything was high drama and so! serious!

 

Oh my goodness, yes.

[Shelby]

Michelle Obama disagrees. And so do I.

It's true that Lisa doesn't look fabulous in sleeveless dresses, but that is because she doesn't appear to work out and has very little muscle tone. But whether one wears or doesn't wear sleeveless outfits shouldn't have anything to do with age. I could rattle off a dozen people who are 50+ who look amazing baring their arms.

I'll amend my comment to say that sleeveless dresses are not flattering on Lisa. Sure, there are women over 50 who have taken care of themselves and/or have great genes who have beautiful upper arms. However the average woman over 50 has suffered the effects of time and gravity.

[ghoulina]

What I also enjoyed in this episode was the "WTF?" look on Peter's girlfriend's face when Katie was telling her how "disrespectful" it was to her relationship that Peter dared ask his friends to go to Vegas for his birthday.  I sincerely hate the use of "disrespectful" being applied to anything someone doesn't like and in this case, Peter can ask his friends to do something on his birthday especially as it seems they've always done these types of trips. It's not "disrespectful" Katie.

 

Right? God forbid Peter celebrate his birthday the way HE wants to! No, I suppose Peter should have chosen a couples ceramics class or something, all to make the insecure nags happy. (And I like Katie, but I think she is easily influenced by stronger women like Stassi and Ariana.)

Edited December 22, 2015 by ghoulina

[TattleTeeny]

I'll amend my comment to say that sleeveless dresses are not flattering on Lisa. Sure, there are women over 50 who have taken care of themselves and/or have great genes who have beautiful upper arms. However the average woman over 50 has suffered the effects of time and gravity.

 

I appreciate the amendment. It's not even that I disagree, really, but I think Lisa--and all of us--should wear what we like. Anyway, maybe she doesn't even care anymore...or is busy with other stuff...or hates working out...or likes her arms as is ("as are"?)?

[ScoobieDoobs]

I didn't really pay much attention to the subsequent guy and girl outings. I sat and read the entire time the boys were in Vegas, because I didn't want to accidentally see an errant ass or penis.

 

You know, I'm still scratching my head trying to figure out why producers include this gay play stuff with these 3 guys in their 30's.  Was it merely an effort by producers to turn on viewers?  Clearly, you weren't interested.  I wasn't either.  Showing Jax's ass?  Ew.  Stop doing that shit, Satan Andy.  It's burning my eyes.  Anyhoo, what gives on this crap?  

 

Since all 3 so strenuously say they're straight, why are they throwing out this bi vibe?  I don't get any of it.  Unless they're trying to throw out to us that they're just "young" guys "having fun".  Yeah, showing each other their dicks & asses is "fun" to them, eh?  Um, OK, show.  

 

And Scheana magically cured Shay of ALL of his depression, addiction, alcoholism & weight issues with one broccoli egg-white omelet & the threat of a pee test.  Oh, and Lala & James are (or ever were) a couple.  Yeah, OK, show.

Edited December 22, 2015 by ScoobieDoobs

[ghoulina]

BUT. I did sympathize and empathize with her about missing her dad on holidays and milestones.  I lost my own dad around her age, and it is hard and sad. I may or may not (I'm not admitting anything, OK?!) have actually teared up when she was talking about how her dad would call her up on her b-day and tell her how her birth was the best day of his life b/c my dad used to do something similar.  I could be wrong, but I did not think she was playing the "dead parent" card for drama and sympathy --- and believe me I was one of the first to call out Vicki G on RHoOC for doing that exact thing this past season!  Ariana's emotions rang true to me.

 

I did not feel that her actual emotions were disingenuous. I'm sure losing a parent is really hard and I can imagines holidays and the like are tough to get through without them. I just really did not believe that was her reason for trying to stop Tom from going. I think it was plain and simple - she didn't want him to go on a trip without her because she can't keep tabs on him. Also, I think Ariana entertains this idea that she's such a "cool chick" that the guys would want her around, no matter what. 

 

But the truth of the matter is, sometimes guys and girls just need to cut loose by themselves. As evidenced in this episode, when the guys are sans girlfriends, they can let down their guard and let off steam in ways they normally can't do. Now, of course that doesn't involve nudity for all males, but the general point still stands. I think it's good for them. It just happens to damage Arian's over-inflated ego, that's all.