Favorite Quotes: "What the hell goes on at night in this house?!"

[sgittinger]

"Hey, uh, Puh-fieffer, how'd you like a punch in your puh-face"?

[ATWTer76]

Rose: Oh, Sophia, that smells heavenly. Is it Chef Boyardee?

Sophia (holding a knife): Stick it in my heart, Rose! It'll hurt less!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Did you hear that sound?"

 

"Yeah, and as long as I'm in my own bed I'll do what I want."

[WhitneyWhit]

Heh, that reminds me of that episode where the "power of persuasion" kept getting to Sophia...

 

"This is amazing!"

[OSM Mom]

"I thought I was safe backed up against these pillows."

[AKA...CJ86]

"Did you hear that sound?"

 

"Yeah, and as long as I'm in my own bed I'll do what I want."

 

"Oh, you heard that? I thought I was safe backed up against these pillows."

 

OSM Mom…I didn't notice you already posted the same thing.

Edited June 21, 2014 by CyberJawa1986

[sgittinger]

"I was away at school". "Oh, yes, the Good Samaritan Academy for the knocked up. 2 4 6 8, all us girls are three months late"!

 

Something about Rue's delivery. (No pun intended).

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"You're about ready to fly right out of here, aren't you?"

 

"Well, excuse me for living, Anita Bryant!"

[OSM Mom]

"Oh, you heard that? I thought I was safe backed up against these pillows."

OSM Mom…I didn't notice you already posted the same thing.

No worries. Great minds think alike. ;)

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Now, look here, Stretch. I have a hundred cheese puffs and a sensitive assistant both on the verge of collapse. Whatever the problem is, overlook it. My mother did with my marriage."

 

*Dorothy turns and stares*

 

"And if you say something smart, I'll slap you silly."

Edited June 22, 2014 by Cobalt Stargazer

[Melgaypet]

"How long is this story? I'm eighty, I have to plan."

[ATWTer76]

"I manage to live 80, 81 years. I've had pneumonia, two operations, a stroke. One night I'll belch and Stable Mabel here'll blow my head off."

Edited June 22, 2014 by ATWTer76

[TexasTiffany]

Dorothy: "I feel like the mother of a Solid Gold dancer."

[WhitneyWhit]

"Ma, you're really hurting my feelings"

"Not as much as you hurt my oonie"

[purpleflowers]

Dorothy: "It is really coming down out there!"

Rose: "What's coming down?"

Dorothy: "The Liberace Marquee at Caesar's Palace."

 

 

Big Daddy: "You're still as pretty as a ladybug sunnin' itself on a lillypad on a misty spring day south of Savannah."
Dorothy: "Could you be a little more specific, Big Daddy?"

 

Sven: "You didn't tell them about kissing me?"
Rose: "Kissing him?!"

Sven: "Or stroking my hair?"

Rose: "Stroking his hair?!"

Sven: "Or feeding me?"

Dorothy: "...Alright, I'll say it. Feeding him?!"
 

[ATWTer76]

Blanche: Rose! That cake's from the Get It While It's Hot Erotic Bakeshop!

Dorothy: Wooooooooo!

Blanche: "Why, Rose Nylund, that cake's in the shape of a..."

Dorothy: "We know what it looks like, Blanche!"

Rose: "I thought it was in the shape of Florida!"

Blanche: "That reminds me...I gotta give Charlie Milburn a call."

Dorothy: "If this cake reminds you of Charlie Milburn, we could BOTH give him a call!"

Edited June 22, 2014 by ATWTer76

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"That's what the crow said!"

"GET OUT!"

[ATWTer76]

"It's not funny! You try getting white bread and mayonnaise out of your braces."

[AKA...CJ86]

As a big Star Wars fan…and excited with all the SW news coming out recently:

 

Blanche: "My mistake. I thought since you look like Yoda you were also wise."

 

I also love Dorothy's replies when the others poked fun at her looks:

 

Dorothy: "Why don't I just wear a sign that says, "Too Ugly To Live?"

 

or

 

Blanche: "Dorothy, this is crazy! Since when do you care how you look?"
Dorothy: "I think it started when I came down from the bell tower and had my hump fixed!"

[LucyEth]

Sopia:  Is that the clown that has the kiddie show?

Rose:  No, Sophia you're thinking of  Bozo

Sophia:  I'm talking to Bozo!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Yes, Celia Rubinstein loved all mankind. She..."

 

"Who?!"

[Melgaypet]

"She got 'in trouble,' if you know what I mean, Dorothy. Kuh-nocken-up-und-schvingle."

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"By the way, Blanche, when did you ever say no?"

 

"Did I say there was going to be a question and answer portion after I spoke?"

[Joan van Snark]

Nurse DeFarge (paraphrased): "Oh by the way Dororthy, a man called wanting to know if you were free Saturday night, but I forgot to write down the number, sorry"

Dorothy: "HASTA LA VISTA, BABY"

 

The timing and delivery on this line was perfection (of course any lines delivered by Bea usually are)

 

Also from this episode:

Dorothy: "I am Pussycat No. 1 YOU are Pussycat No. 2!"

 

Edited June 24, 2014 by Joan van Snark

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Blanche said you were incorrigible."

 

"I guess I deserve it. I always say she's a cheap slut."

[AKA...CJ86]

"Yes, Celia Rubinstein loved all mankind. She..."

 

"Who?!"

 

Just reading the "WHO!" in Dorothy's tone…I'm giggling…

[ATWTer76]

"Creamed what was left on his pants?"

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"You're only gonna sit in and inch of water?"

[sgittinger]

Cobalt Stargazer, that does it. That does it!!!!

[Melgaypet]

"Benito was the hero of many a Sicilian youngster."

 

"Because he stole from the rich and gave to the poor?"

 

"I said Benito the Hood, not Benito the Idiot."

[ATWTer76]

"We have Maalox and estrogen. Now how many junkies do you know have gas and hot flashes?"

[bettername2come]

"I said Benito the Hood, not Benito the Idiot."

 

"He stole from everyone and kept it all for himself. He didn't even share any with his Band of Merry Thugs!"

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Cobalt Stargazer, that does it. That does it!!!!

 

Beat it, you fifty year old mattress! :-P

[JohnnyGilda]

"Dorothy, didn't you have something you wanted to do?  Some kind of secret desire you always kept on the back burner?"

"Mm, well, I always wanted to try a nudist camp."

"Some big pots belong on the back burner."

[ATWTer76]

"I am contouring my eyebrows. I use Miss Christie Brinkley as a guide because we have exactly the same bone structure. I just hope she doesn't let herself go to pot after that baby comes. I don't want that big-eyed husband of hers coming after me."

[Bastet]

Burt Reynolds: Which one is the slut?

All, with hands raised: I am!

[ATWTer76]

Oooooh, Cinderella's back from the ball and her three wicked roommates are jealous!

[OSM Mom]

Because I love the way the character says it, "Welcome to Appalappachobi!“

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Rose: "I would have died if I had caught my parents having sex!"

 

Dorothy: "You never walked in on them?"

 

Rose: "Well, once. But they were just playing leap frog."

[Blakeston]

Rose: "I thought Miles was a chihuahuah. It turns out he was a rat!"

Sophia: "You know, I once prepared a six-course meal with what I thought was chicken. But it turned out to be—"

Dorothy: "Ma!"

::pause::

Dorothy: "Rose, in my heart, I cannot believe that Miles is a rat. He just fell in with the wrong people, that’s all. Now, look, I know you have a date with him tomorrow night, keep it. I’m sure you’ll fine he’s the same caring, sensitive man you’ve known all along. My God, it wasn’t my confirmation dinner, was it?!"

Edited June 27, 2014 by Blakeston

[ATWTer76]

"Hey, you know these peas taste just like fresh? But you can't mix 'em with the mashed potatoes. They should have a tunnel running from the pea compartment to the mashed potato compartment."

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Dorothy: "Rose, in my heart, I cannot believe that Miles is a rat. He just fell in with the wrong people, that’s all. Now, look, I know you have a date with him tomorrow night, keep it. I’m sure you’ll fine he’s the same caring, sensitive man you’ve known all along. My God, it wasn’t my confirmation dinner, was it?!"

 

Sophia: "It really made everybody laugh when your father made the little feet dance."

[Ouisch]

"I was blowing my breasts, Rose."

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Clayton is a hobo?!"

[Blakeston]

"Hurry back, dumpling!"

"My feet have wings, barf bag!"

[ATWTer76]

"I don't know what you just did, but you'd make one hell of a yodeler."

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Go hug a landmine!"

[ATWTer76]

"All I wanted was a tan on my thighs. Now I’ll probably end up a prisoner of the revolution. They’ll rip my blouse and make me cook for the officers and spit food in my face and make fun of my recipes. Eventually, I’ll catch the eye of some fat general with big sweat stains under his arms. He’ll force me to let out his uniforms and satisfy his ugly needs."

[Bastet]

"I don’t really mind Clayton being homosexual, I just don’t like him dating men."
"You really haven’t grasped the concept of this 'gay' thing yet, have you, Blanche?"
"Well there must be homosexuals who date women."
"Yeah. They’re called lesbians."

[Cobalt Stargazer]

"Not *Lebanese*, Blanche. *Lesbian*."