Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[Prevailing Wind]

I am SO tired of Brit chicks trying to sell us stuff, especially bathroom-oriented stuff.

[Ubiquitous]

I just saw a commercial for State Farm, where the parents basically drop their daughter and her belongings curbside, and leave (after a father-daughter selfie). Now, my family didn't exactly hang out on my move-in day, but they at least helped me get my stuff in my room before peacing-out lol. Now I'm curious as to what your various college move-in experiences are/were :)

I had the same experience in college; we all drove to college with a U-Haul and unloaded its contents in my room.

 

The one that gets me is the one where its all. "I'm never getting married", "I'm never having kids" and then all those life events happen.  Then at the end he's all "I'm never letting go" fade to black and I'm thinking, that guy just died.

I wondered if the commercial ended before we saw the divorce.

[DeLurker]

It starts out with him saying "I'm never getting married again!".

[smittykins]

Well...my late mom, born in 1916, had full dentures by the time she was 21.  She just had bad teeth.  She used to tell me how she spent her teen years in the dentist's chair.  She consumed a lot of calcium when she was pregnant with both my brother and me, hoping we'd have better teeth.  We both still have our teeth, but almost half of mine are crowns, the rest have fillings.

 

None of us are/were (illegal) drug users.

I've heard that some people are genetically predisposed to bad teeth, no matter how well they brush/floss.

[St. Claire]

I recently saw an ad announcing Nature Valley was making their granola bars softer, but for the life of me, I have never any complaints about that. Perhaps I am not hanging around with aging hippies?

 

Those things are hard as hell. You can crack a tooth on them. Hurl them at someone and kill them. Use them as a hammer. They're hard!! Trust me. I'm so glad they're making them softer.

 

Just saw an ad for the "Amope Pedi-Perfect with diamond crystals", a foot-callus sander. Who are these people who need diamonds to sand their calluses? Does Aunt Edna really have calluses that are higher than 9 on the Mohs hardness scale?

 

I sense a new partnership between Nature Valley and Amope Pedi Perfect!!

[BookWitch]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1p9Yz5aJPpI&ab_channel=videoholic50s60s70s

 

Well...my late mom, born in 1916, had full dentures by the time she was 21.  She just had bad teeth.  She used to tell me how she spent her teen years in the dentist's chair.  She consumed a lot of calcium when she was pregnant with both my brother and me, hoping we'd have better teeth.  We both still have our teeth, but almost half of mine are crowns, the rest have fillings.

None of us are/were (illegal) drug users.

I've heard that some people are genetically predisposed to bad teeth, no matter how well they brush/floss.

 

 

Floride wasn't put in toothpastes until the 1950's. It was just assumed if you lived past 40 you were going to lose your teeth. Youtube has some cool commercials from the 50's about it. I think Crest did it first. "Look mom! No cavities!"

Edited November 23, 2015 by BookWitch

[mmecorday]

 

Just saw an ad for the "Amope Pedi-Perfect with diamond crystals", a foot-callus sander. Who are these people who need diamonds to sand their calluses? Does Aunt Edna really have calluses that are higher than 9 on the Mohs hardness scale?

    

I sense a new partnership between Nature Valley and Amope Pedi Perfect!!

And Kay Jewelers!

[bad things are bad]

Do you think the people at Dodge Ram believe the Hunger Games are real?

 

Actually, they're trying too hard to get people to stop saying "Dodge Ram". Brilliant marketing move in 2009 to make them "Ram" trucks, not Dodge anymore.

 

So if you're in the business, like me, and you have a table that defines make and model of a vehicle, it's Ram Ram. 

 

Fiat Chrysler definitely has some issues in the marketing department. 

[CarpeDiem54]

WTF?! I can't believe this is a real commercial.

http://youtu.be/oaQ1CdISw8o

This is hilarious! I wonder if she's related to the commando broad.

BTW, that Poo Pourri really does work.

[Brattinella]

Seriously??  Make and Model is RAM RAM?

[shoovenbooty]

There is a drug commercial for Linzess, an IBS drug, that says:

 

"Do not give Linzess to children under 6. Do not give Linzess to children 6 to 17 years of age. It may harm them."

 

Huh? Why not just say "Do not give to children 17 and under". And can they be any more vague about what it could actually DO to harm them?

[90PercentGravity]

The one that gets me is the one where its all. "I'm never getting married", "I'm never having kids" and then all those life events happen. Then at the end he's all "I'm never letting go" fade to black and I'm thinking, that guy just died.

Another one that has me wondering. A new Polident commercial went younger in casting than normal for dentures. I'm sitting there thinking, 'how did she lose her teeth'? I came to the conclusion that they are advertising for meth heads. If there is some condition that causes tooth loss at a young age, I apologize. But in fairness, once it occurred to me it did seem like the styling of the actress edged a little towards drug user.

Since he always ends up doing the thing he said he wouldn't do, I'm left assuming he abandoned his family and ran off with a stripper.

[Moose135]

Seriously??  Make and Model is RAM RAM?

No, the make is Ram, the model would be 1500, 2500, 3500, etc.

[Brattinella]

No, the make is Ram, the model would be 1500, 2500, 3500, etc.

 

Whew!  Thank you!  I was worried there for a minute.

[sofaslug]

WTF?! I can't believe this is a real commercial.

http://youtu.be/oaQ1CdISw8o

I had never seen the tv ad but before the Superbowl they aired on the radio almost all the time. At first I thought it was an SNL skit.

[bad things are bad]

No, the make is Ram, the model would be 1500, 2500, 3500, etc.

 

Actually, our company does "Ram; Ram Pickup". The other stuff (1500, etc) goes into a different field. But to me "Pickup" isn't really a model! 

[Moose135]

But to me "Pickup" isn't really a model! 

 

They also have a Ram van...

http://www.ramtrucks.com/en/lineup/

[Muffyn]

I was just listening to the TV while I did other things, and from what I heard the One Second Slicer "Serves seals, stacks and stores", so now I know what to get if I want to serve some seals. Except that I'm not sure if I'll be serving things to seals, or if seals are what's on the menu.

Now I'm wondering what we are serving seals stacks of.  Pancakes maybe? 

[ari333]

Her dog was making her hoohaw itch? She was having to stop and scratch her crotch whilst walking her dog? What does the poor dog have to do with it and why does he care?

 

 

I don't want to know the answer to any of these questions. The possibilities are too horrifying.

 

 

Was the dog a Schnauzer?  (*rimshot*)

 

HEE! Omg you guys kill me. BWAHAHAHA

 

The dog has nothing to do with her lady problems (I hope! eeew) but that notion is not impossible for me to infer (as disturbing as it is).... from the way the commercial is presented. Or maybe it is my mind and I am going to hell after I drag myself out of the gutter. :).

Edited November 25, 2015 by ari333

[ari333]

WTF?! I can't believe this is a real commercial.

 

Why do women sit and stand and walk pigeon toed when they are wearing pumps and short dresses? See Lady Gaga singing in the bookstore with Tony Bennett. I see this a lot and it bugs me.

Edited November 25, 2015 by ari333

[Brattinella]

Why do women sit and stand and walk pigeon toed when they are wearing pumps and short dresses? See Lady Gaga singing in the bookstore with Tony Bennett. I see this a lot and it bugs me.

 

I think grown women do the pigeon-toed look so they will appear more childlike.  *puke*

[Bort]

Why do women sit and stand and walk pigeon toed when they are wearing pumps and short dresses? See Lady Gaga singing in the bookstore with Tony Bennett. I see this a lot and it bugs me.

So they're not flashing people their goodies is the answer that comes to mind.

[Prevailing Wind]

Blame it on Twiggy.  I do not remember ever seeing that stance until Twiggy came on the scene.  Or...it could be this nutjobs don't know how to correctly stand/walk in heels.  If they stood properly, they'd feel like they'll tip over.

 

I am so happy I'm too old care about shoes "looking good" like that.  The last time I wore "cute" shoes was at my nephew's wedding in 2005.

[Aquarius]

I think grown women do the pigeon-toed look so they will appear more childlike.  *puke*

 

That's what I always thought too. 

[DeLurker]

Damn it!  Now I am spending time looking at how the feet are positioned in the closed stalls...such a valuable use of my time.

 

I'm guessing it is important to appear childlike, prim and innocent when your going to the bathroom in a public restroom without closing the stall door.  So everyone can see it isn't YOU being odorous. 

 

I hope the Cottonelle wench doesn't show up to ensure she's getting clean enough to go commando.

 

I just gave myself new nightmare material.

[janie jones]

Why do women sit and stand and walk pigeon toed when they are wearing pumps and short dresses? See Lady Gaga singing in the bookstore with Tony Bennett. I see this a lot and it bugs me.

Well I can't speak for Lady Gaga, but I'm pretty sure that if that lady in the Poo-pourri commercial turned her toes out any more than they are, it would be difficult to keep her knees together.  I suppose one could argue that she could put her feet together, but who poops with their feet together?  At any rate, maybe it depends on body type, but I for one, find it easier to sit with my knees together if my feet are apart.  It doesn't matter what kind of shoes I'm wearing.  I mean, I just tried it and I'm barefoot.  If feel like the effect would be exaggerated if I were wearing heels.

 

I've had people swear that Poo-pourri works, and even if it does, I don't think it's very effective.  It's supposed to trap the poop smell in the water.  But what about the poop smell that's released before the poop hits the water?  What about the farting?

[peacheslatour]

From Gone with the Wind:

 

She knew how to smile so that her dimples leaped, how to walk pigeon-toed so that her wide hoop skirts swayed entrancingly, how to look up into a man's face and then drop her eyes and bat her lids rapidly so that she seemed a-tremble with emotion. Scarlett was willing to appear demure, pliable and scatterbrained, if those were the qualities that attracted men.

[Trini]

I think grown women do the pigeon-toed look so they will appear more childlike.  *puke*

 

Some of us actually ARE pigeon-toed -- geez. I try and correct it when I notice I'm doing it, but it's how my legs/feet naturally want to position themselves.

[Brattinella]

No offense meant, of course, to those who can't help it.

[Rick Kitchen]

After having seen the comment about Lady Gaga, I watched carefully during her ad with Tony Bennett, and don't see any case of her being pigeon toed in that ad.

[peacheslatour]

I just saw a Campbells Soup commercial where mom and the kids are at the supermarket and the VO is going on about mass accumulations of snow, schools closed, roads closed indefinitely and to make it real they have her grab a bottle of wine on the way to the checkout and all I can think is: One bottle?  Yeah, that ain't gonna cut it!

But it's still cute.

Edited November 26, 2015 by peacheslatour

[Ubiquitous]

What kind of wine goes with soup?

I noticed this PSA is back in circulation (why does MeTV play so many PSAs?) for the four signs of someone having a stroke (F.A.S.T.): Face drooping; Arms limp; Slurred speach, (OK, so far so good); Time to call a paramedic.

Wait, what?

[Cobalt Stargazer]

(why does MeTV play so many PSAs?)

 

As far as I can tell, it's because MeTV exclusively airs syndicated programming, shows that have been off the air for years. (The Rockford Files, Gunsmoke, CHiPS, etc) so they might not have the money to buy much airtime for "real" commercials.

[Brattinella]

What kind of wine goes with soup?

I noticed this PSA is back in circulation (why does MeTV play so many PSAs?) for the four signs of someone having a stroke (F.A.S.T.): Face drooping; Arms limp; Slurred speach, (OK, so far so good); Time to call a paramedic.

Wait, what?

You may think this is funny, but it fits in the meme.  Just remember FACE ARMS SPEECH TIME and you might save a life.

[Moose135]

What kind of wine goes with soup?

 

 

Any kind you want...

[Brattinella]

I saw this commercial for Sally Hansen, a reputable cosmetic company.  It was advertising their new Nail Polish Gel, which PLUMPS YOUR NAILS.

WTF??

[riley702]

I wasn't aware "plump" nails were a thing. I don't think I've ever looked at someone and thought, "Poor thing - just look at those skinny nails." People are nuts.

Edited November 28, 2015 by riley702

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I saw this commercial for Sally Hansen, a reputable cosmetic company.  It was advertising their new Nail Polish Gel, which PLUMPS YOUR NAILS.

WTF??

 

WTF indeed. I Googled, and apparently you get "plump nails" from using some kind of gel nail polish, a "gel that's not a gel", according to this link:

 

 

http://www.fromkateschultz.com/2015/08/plump-up-your-nails.html

 

Like people don't have real problems, FFS.

[Sandman87]

Yeah, I can't count the number of times I've looked at my nails and thought "Those suckers need to be more girthy." I assume that some sort of Viagra is involved.

 

Maybe by this time next year someone will fill the public's desperate need for nose hair mascara.

[CarpeDiem54]

Yeah, I can't count the number of times I've looked at my nails and thought "Those suckers need to be more girthy." I assume that some sort of Viagra is involved.

LOL. I now have visions of tiny, but stiff, penises sticking up from fingernails.

[Aquarius]

Well I can't speak for Lady Gaga, but I'm pretty sure that if that lady in the Poo-pourri commercial turned her toes out any more than they are, it would be difficult to keep her knees together.  I suppose one could argue that she could put her feet together, but who poops with their feet together?

 

Admittedly, I don't have a lot of experience with other people pooping, but really, who poops with their knees together?

[Sandman87]

LOL. I now have visions of tiny, but stiff, penises sticking up from fingernails.

Which reminds me of Klein from Fallout New Vegas: Old World Blues: "Now it's holding up an array of fully erect HAND PENISES! If it tries to insert them, ACTIVATE VIVISECTORS!"

 

He's got some of the funniest dialog in any video game, ever.

[riley702]

WTF indeed. I Googled, and apparently you get "plump nails" from using some kind of gel nail polish, a "gel that's not a gel", according to this link:

 

Like people don't have real problems, FFS.

 

Talk about a "solution" in search of a problem...

 

Maybe by this time next year someone will fill the public's desperate need for nose hair mascara.

Don't give them ideas! The commercial will probably star that idiot who keeps trying to jam a Q-tip into his brain via ear canal. OUCH!!

Edited November 29, 2015 by riley702

[Sandman87]

There's an ad for Kraken rum that features a CG octopus writhing around while "Sea of Love" plays. Really? Are we going for a The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife sort of vibe here? Because ew, and also ick. Must be really good rum if I can drink enough of it to make that seem like a romantic image.

 

Also, don't follow that link. You've been warned.

[CarpeDiem54]

There's an ad for Kraken rum that features a CG octopus writhing around while "Sea of Love" plays. Really? Are we going for a The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife sort of vibe here? Because ew, and also ick. Must be really good rum if I can drink enough of it to make that seem like a romantic image.

 

Also, don't follow that link. You've been warned.

Ah! Bert Cooper's painting. One of my favorite things from Mad Men. ;-)

[janie jones]

Admittedly, I don't have a lot of experience with other people pooping, but really, who poops with their knees together?

The lady in the commercial in question, so she doesn't flash the camera.

 

There's a knife commercial advertising some sort of self-sharpening knife.  It would appear from the commercial that the block you store the knife in sharpens the knife.  So what I don't understand is, if it's the block that sharpens the knife, why do they tell us that the knife sharpens itself every time you use it?  Isn't it every time you put it away?  And shouldn't it be the knife block they're advertising?  If it is some wondrous knife that sharpens itself when you use it, then they shouldn't show the knife block sharpening it.

 

Most importantly, why does the woman put her knife away when she's not even finished chopping her carrot, and why doesn't she wash it first?

Edited November 29, 2015 by janie jones

[CarpeDiem54]

Most importantly, why does the woman put her knife away when she's not even finished chopping her carrot, and why doesn't she wash it first?

This! It bugs me no end that she puts a dirty knife back into the block.

[cynicat]

The lady in the commercial in question, so she doesn't flash the camera.

 

There's a knife commercial advertising some sort of self-sharpening knife.  It would appear from the commercial that the block you store the knife in sharpens the knife.  So what I don't understand is, if it's the block that sharpens the knife, why do they tell us that the knife sharpens itself every time you use it?  Isn't it every time you put it away?  And shouldn't it be the knife block they're advertising?  If it is some wondrous knife that sharpens itself when you use it, then they shouldn't show the knife block sharpening it.

 

Most importantly, why does the woman put her knife away when she's not even finished chopping her carrot, and why doesn't she wash it first?

 

I saw this commercial during one of those forensic shows (Fatal Vows? Snapped?) right after the part where they discovered the wife had  stabbed the husband to death.  Maybe not the best ad placement.  Then again, maybe it's genius.

[DeLurker]

Maybe by this time next year someone will fill the public's desperate need for nose hair mascara.

I'm going to go start a GoFundMe or KickStarter campaign right now!

[Demented Daisy]

While you're at it, you need to make a product for the men.  How about a gel to style ear hair?